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About Oregon City courier. (Oregon City, Or.) 1896-1898 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 22, 1897)
OLNETS SUCCESSOR Senator John Sherman Has Accepted State Portfolio. KK8ULT OK HIS TBIP TO CANTOS Ufaeral Alger Being Coneldeiod for hn War Department Borne Davie Bm Ko Chance. Canton, 0., Jan. 18. "I have b i't'lUtl the Htiite portfolio," said Sena tor John Sherman to the Associated Press representative at the Fort Wayne depot a few minutes before the senator left for Washington Hi la afternoon. The senator hud but a few momenta be fore left tho presence of the president elect, Concerning other matters con nected with the incoming adminlstra tion, the senutor was very reticent. Axkrd as to whether Mr. Ilanna would be appointed senator, he replied that he did not know. Senator Sherman wan in the city a little more than three hours, and all the whilo was at the McKinley home, where he took lunch with other prominent callers. Policy Toward Cuba. Pittsburg, Jan. 18. The Dispatch nays: The Cuban policy of the McKin ley administration will differ very lit tle from that which has been laid down by President Cleveland and his secre tary of state. This statement is based on remarks made to a reporter by the man who will be premier of the next administration, Senator Sherman, at the union depot this evening. The veteran statesman was on his ay to Washington from Canton. Af ;.ter stating that his position in the next abiiiet had been determined, Senator .Sherman said in answer to a question: y "I think the United States govern ment should not interfere with the X'ubim war, cither to aid in its settle mient or to do anything which would i make a peaceful government of the island a charge upon this country. I .think Canovas has outlined a program 'of governmental reforms, which will 1-J applied Loth in Spafti and Cuba. These reforms will give the Cubans practical autonomy, and will, I hope, settle the question." STORY, OF ETHEL GILLIAM. I Adrift on an Ioa Floe. Menominee, Mich., Jan. 18. To might nine men are clinging to a block of ice a few rods square that is being driven out of Green bay into Lake IMichigifc by a fierce southerly gale. The wind is blowing thirty miles an hfiuV, and carries a zero temperature, ."ind an occasional snow sqnull. The :mcn are fishermen, chid only in the none too heavy clothing wpm while tending their nets, and unless the ice ! floe .has been blown againbt Chambers usland or Green island, there is little probability they will live through the night. Tho doomed men are residents of the little fishing village of Menekau nee, and their wives and children and neighbors are spending the night on the mountains of ice that fringe the beach weeping. . , MUCHLY MARRIED. William Gray, of Palouea City, Touehot for Ila Truth, Walla Walla, Jan. 19. William Gray, of Paloue City, who is in Walla Walla undergoing medioinal treatment, recently told the Statesman the story of Ethel Gilliam, a girl who lives with her parents ton miles east of Palouse. The family is poor but honest and reli able, the parents being devout mem bers of the Methodist Episcopal church. Last August this little girl was taken 111, and after three weeks, apparently died, so the story goes. For three hours she had every apearanee of death. . She then slowly revived, but was totally blind. She told her pa rents that she had been in heaven and seen Jesus and the angels and many friends who had gone before. There she saw a tree of life and a river of life. There were little children in tho tree eating the fruit. Each inhabitant wore a crown bearing his or her name. The little girl saw a crown with her name on it, hanging up, and reached for it, but Jesus told her she1 would have to go back to earth and fulfill her mission. lie wanted her to teach his people. Although blind this girl can read ly passing her fingers over the printed or written page, and can describe persons whose pictures were handed to her. The lutter power was first discovered by J. B. Cawthorn, a photographer, whose mother lives in Walla Walla. He told the marvelous story to a Sun day school in Palouse City, and Mr. Gray and wife, hearing it, drove out to the home of the girl to see for them selves. Mr. Gray first handed the sick girl his watch, and she told him that it was a gold watch, and the time of day, by passing her fingers over the glass. To make sure that her power was gen uine, a paper was hold between her face and a photograph that Mr. Gray handed to her, and she described the picture perfectly as that of an old gen tleman with gray whiskers, wearing a dark suit and cravat. She read from books and papers handed to her by the use of her fingers. Mr. and Mrs. Gray tell many other wonderful things in relation to this child. She has now boon ill 100 days, and has not been ablo to digest -any food. As references for tho truth of the story, Mr. Gray gave the names of Rev. A. Y. Skee, pastor of the 8. M. E. cjiurch, of Palouse; Rev. J. G. Kerrick, of La Grande, Or.; H. A. Gray, Thomas Cox and J. B. Caw thorn, of Palouse. AT THE INAUGURATION. HOUSE MAY KILL IT. Utile Chance of Favorable Action on Homestead Hill. Washington, Jan. 18. The support ers of the free homestead bill fear that the measure has ben killed, so fur as this congress Is concerned, by the ac tion of Speaker Reed in referring it to the house committee on public lands for the consideration of the senato amendments. - The house, committee is not strongly in favor of the plan. That committee voted to rcjHirt the bill to the house by a majority of only one, when it provided only for free homes for the Oklahoma settlers. The senate amendments greatly widen the scope of the bill, extending its provisions to all public land states, and it is doubtful whether the house committee will sanction the changes. The bill's supporters fear that if the committee does not make an adverse report, it will keep the bill and take no action on it before adjournment, which course would effectually dispose of it In tho House, Washington, Jan. 18. The proceed ings in the house today were very tame. It was private bill day, but the whole time was consumed in passing through the house bills favorably acted upon in committee of the whole before the holdiay recess. The widow of the late Major-General Gibbon was the beneficiary of one of the bills passed carrying $100 per month, and the widow of Brevet Major-General W. A. Nichols, of another, carrying $75 per month. The free homestead bill, which came back to the house with senate amendments, was referred under a rul ing of the chair to the committee on public lands. Ace for Retirement. , Washington, Jan. 18. A bill fixing the age for retirement from the classi fied civil service was introduced by Representative Gillette, of Massachu setts. It proivdes that any office in the classified service held by a person who at the time of the passage of the act is over 62 years of age, shall be come vacant in three years. Any office in the service shall hereafter become vacant when the person holding it be comes 85 years old. Veterans, of the civil war and their widows are exjeptedj from the provision. LAND FOR EVERYBODY. WEEKLY MARKET LETTER. Oowolug, Hopkins Company'! Review or Trad. The past week has proved an un steady one in the wheat markets. Whilo there has been no weakening in the basic position of wheat, and while, indeed, tho position today is strongor Tho Free llomeitoad Hill Baa raneed tho Senate. Washington, Jan. 10. The senate today passed the measure known as the free-hoinestead bill, which has been under discussion since tho holday re cess. It is a measure of far-reaching importance, particularly to the est- than a week since, the bears have upon em states, and the intorest in it was two or thrco occasions raided the mar shown by the fact that a plank concern- keta and broken prices. To our minds ing it was a feature of the several na- these fluctuations prove nothing against tional platforms. The effect of the the deal. We don't know but prices bill is to open to settlement all the will be lower, and are not talking about public lands acquired from Indians, ; what will be tho results, but we write free of payment to the government, be- of the foundation of the markets, and yond the minor office fees, and to re-1 dealers must manage the rest. The lease from payment those who have winter wheat, usuallly two-thirds of heretofore settled on those lands. The the aggregate crop, it depleted to number of acres involved, according to smaller remains in farmers' hands than an estimate made by the commissioner for years, Be 'An Indian Territory Man Who Hal Sixteen Wives. Dennison, Tex., Jan. .18. Deputy Unitetd. Stutes Marshal B. C. Birch fleld, of Durant, L T., has arrived here, having in charge Tom Lowe, 26 years 'of ajsje, who is wanted in this county 'under indictment in two cases of dis iposing of mortgaged property. Love in the presence of Officer iro'hfiejd and Policeman James, con fessed to halng the husband of sixteen wives, all of whom l)e has married within the last eight years. The con cession was made in writing. He married wife No. 1 at Pureell, L T.f in 1886; No. 2 in Bromwood, Tex., the same year; No. 8 in Benton; No. 4 in Ilillsboro; No. 6 in Ennis; No. 6 in Marion county; No. 7 in Galveston; No. 8 in Houston; No. 9 in McLennan county; No. 10 in Dennison; No. 11 in Paris; No. 12 in Delta county; No. 13 in Mills county; No. 14 in Milan county; No. 15 at Weber Falls, and No. 16 in Young county. All the wives are alive, and so far as he knows, Lowe says they are not re married. So far as he knows nineteen children have been born to them with Jn the lost eight years. , Killed In the Clair's Preserves. -Berlin, Jan. 18. The Lokal An ! seiger publishes a dispatch from St. Petersburg reporting a lamentable in cident, which has occurred in the csar's r presence. The czar, it seems, beckoned to a gardener, who was work ing in . the park at Tserskoselo. The guard, seeing the man running toward the czar, shot him dead, supposing he was a would-be assassin. The czar was deeply affected by this occurrence. Can Filed In a Heap. " Bushnell, LI., Jan. 18. A wreck oc curred on the Toledo, Peoria & West ern at Sciota, ten miles west, last night. The engine, mail, baggage and two passenger cars were piled in a heap. The engineer was killed, and the baggageman and five or six passen gers badly hurt. The wreck was caused by a broken rail, while the train was running thirty-five miles an hour. Suffocated 6y Coal 6aa. Chicago, Jan. 18. The bodies of Mrs. Esther Poole, 60 years old, and her son, Charles, aged 84, who were suffocated by coal gas, were found in their house last night . riro la an Orpbane Hone Dallas. Tex Jan. 18. At a late What It Will Coat a Spectator to tho Ceretnonlet. Washington, Jan. 19. Washington ians who are making an effort to ar range the inaugural ceremonies of Mr. McKinley BO that none can complain,, are disturbed by statements ' circulated in certain parts of the country to the effect that extortionate rates are to be exacted of those who come here to wit ness the inauguration ceremonies. Speaking to an Asooiated Press reporter today, Chairman Bell said: "If the people insist on making their own arrangement, the inaugural com mittee cannot be bsld responsible, but I can assure any one who will address Colonel L. P. Wright, chairman of the committee on public comfort, that he will secure for them the best of acconi- raodfltions at reasonable' rates. He has listed already accommodations for from 20,000 to 80,000' persons, mostly in private hoUs'1', whiori are well located, and which are supplied with all mod ern conveniences. The list is daily increasing. . The rates will average about as follows: For lodging only, 1 per day for beds and 75 cents for cots; $1.25 to $1.50 for lodging and break fast, and $2.50 per day for lodging and meals. Good horses for the parade may be hired for from $5 to $10. If Tat the Purchase of Cuba. Washington, Jam 18; Represent' tive Spencer of Mississippi, has intro duced in the house a bill as follows: "The secretary of state is hereby au thorized to offer to the government of Spain a sum of money not to exceed $200,000,000 for tho purchase of tho island of Cuba. And the sum of $10, 000, or so much thereof as may . be necessary to defray the expenses of pending negotiations, is hereby appro priated." WAS BLOWN TO BITS. of the general land office, is 88,207,541, which would have yielded the govern ment, at the price heretofore estab lished, $35,848,000. To offset this statement it was brought out during the debate that the lands were mainly arid and that those who had settled upon them were unable to make pay ment by reason of the scanty products of the soil. The Western senators in the main favored the bill as an exten sion of the general homestead policy of the government. The opposition was directed mainly by Piatt of Connecticut and Vilas. As the bill passed in the house it covered only lands acquired from Indians in Oklahoma but as passed today the bill includes all In dian lands. The final vote taken by agreement at 4 P. M. , showed a decisive majority in favor of the measure. Following thedispoisiton 'of this bill, which had held the advantageous posi tion of the unfinished, business of the senate, Morgan sought to have the Nica rauga canal bill made the unfinished business. This precipitated a vote which to some extent was a test of strength of the bill itself. On Mor gan's motion to take up the bill, tho vote was 83 to 6, or less than a quorum, so the motion did not prevail, although it disclosed the strenght of the measure. During the day Morgan secured the adoption of a resolution for an inquiry by the judioiary committee as to whether the properties of .the Union Pano and Central Paoifto companies now belong to tho United States, by reason of alleged defaults in payment of bonds. A resolution by Cullom, calling on the civil servioe commission to explain the delay in making annual reports, was adopted. Dynamite Exploded in Miner Dendaui'i f Cabin. Seattle, Jam 18. lit attempting to thaw out a few "ticks of dynamite by placing inem on a not stave, Den dauf was instantly killed and horribly mutilated at Black Diamond Thurs day. Thursday morning about 10 o'clock, Dendauf, who is in the employ of Lawson Bros., took ten sticks of the explosive to his cabin to warm them up, From that time until noon he was alone, and the exact manner in which the accident occurred can nevor be known, but during the noon hour, when all hands were at dinner, a ter rific explosion was heard. Everybody rushed out and found the entire side atid tart of thef roof of Denda.uj's cabin had bee'fl ifftti Sway and hurled against the side of afioilrer farvfa sixty feet dis tant. The inteTfoi of what remained of the cabin Was a total wreck, every Grout Bill In the House. Washington, Jari. lfl; The house1 Bpent almost the tjfltird day debating the Grout bill, whoh was tinder con sideration for a time yesterday, to sub ject oleomargarine and other imitation dairy produots to the laws of the states into which they are transported. The advocates of the measure took the view that the states should be allowed to regulate the sale of a product sailing i cedj Jersey Red, $3.50, under laise colors, and the wppownts Consumption must soon re sort to spring wheat, and that reserve is undoubtedly small. We are break ing away slowly from foreign prices and before harvest it will be a home demand and supply. According to expert testimony many of the believers in wheat who have been watching the upward march of values for the past two months have been rather doubtful of its stability, in view of the .cheapness of other cereals and thcirproduct. The fact that corn has entered the list as a competitor for bread consumption led to a halt in the advance and many traders were greatly influenced by this circumstance. The argument is made that flour is being adulterated to such an extent with corn meal, and the call for corn meal is in creasing at such a rate that the demand for cash wheat will gradually become ourtailcd, and, with a lessening of the demand, perforce a decline in price. One writer in discussing this phase of the wheat situation asserts that such a use for com meal and other substitu tions for wheat must be only credited to restricted areas. The theory ad vanced is that poor people who would most likely use this adulterated arttclo r.s a human food do not buy flour, and hence the first argument falls to the ground. - Market Quotations. Portland, Or., Jan. 19, 1897. Flour Portland, Salem, Cascadia and Dayton, $4.60; Benton county and White Lily, $4.50; graham, $4.00; bu pcrfine, $2.80 per barrel. Whetv: -Walla Walla, 8384cj Val ley, 86&i7o per bushel. ' Oats Choice white, 4042o per bushel; choice gray, 8840o. Hay Timothy, $18.00 per ton; clover, I8.00S9.00; oat, $8.00 10; wheat, $8. 00 10 per ton. Barley Fd barley, $18.00 per ton; Jcwimj, $20, MUlstuffs Brati, $18,001 shorts, $16.60; middlings, $26. Butter Creamery, 8540o; Tilla mook, 40c; dairy, 22W80c. Potatoes Oregon Burbanks, 85 70o; Early Rose, 8090o per Back; Cali fornia river Burbanks, 65o per cental; sweets, $2.00 2. 50 per cental for Mer- personB have equipments it will be i thing in shreds and fragments, with the body of JJendaut in the midst. Some flying missile, presumably a bit of the stove, entered his' head near the right eye, going directly through the skull and leaving a hole two inches square; the right leg was broken in two places between the hip and knee, and the flesh of the whole rigltf, side hung in tatters. Death must have been instantaneous. well to bring them, although such as they may not possess will be supplied by tle committee at moderate cost." Earthquake In Oakland. Oakland, Cat., Jan 19. An earth quake this afternoon was productive of a remarkable scene at the Tenthavenue Baptist church. Rev. C. M. Hill, the pastor, was just closing1 an eloquent sermon. Just as he asked the congre gation in an impressive manner what account they would render of their stewardship, the building began to quake until . it seemed that the roof would fall in. In a moment all was confusion. Some of the congregation ran for the doors; others fell on their knees to pray, while others, with faces pale, stood waiting for what seemed to many to be certain death. Deacon Jo seph Plaw attempted to calm the asem blage. He asked why there should be fear, if they had heeded the words of their shepherd, and were ready for the end. He said that they should rejoice if the end came and found them pre pared. The speaker quickly restored quiet, and when he had finished, all joined in prayers of thanskgiving. Derrlahea on too More. Rome, Jan. 19. Massowah advices are to the effect that a body of Der vishes, believed to be the advance guard of the entire Dervish forces, has entered the Kedaref district, and is moving on Agordat. The Italian gov ernment is concentrating all the troops available near Agordat, which is well defended BLUE CUT ROBBERY. Cleaned Oat a Town. Perry, O. T., Jan. 19. Late last night robbers took in the town of New kirk, north of here. Saloons were rob bed of all the money and quantities of whisky and beer. Residences were en tered and many things were taken out. The officers think the robbers came alleged Leader Clalrai Thero If a Con. piracy to Convtet Him. Kansas City, Jan. 18. John Ken nedy who was indicted as the leader of the gang which twice held up and robbbed Chicago- ' St Alton trains at Blue Cut, wrote out and signed a statement today charging that there was a conspiracy to convict him. There Beema to be some grounds to substan tiate bis statement as regards John Land, an important witness against him. It is given out, moreover, from authoritative sources that the robbers secured almost $30,000, and not $2, 800, as first claimed by the exprens company. For the conviction of the men concerned, it is also said big re wards have been offered. In 1882, Land, who lives in the Blue Cut local ity, was convicted of perjury in falsely swearing that three of his neighbors had been connected in the Jesse James train robbery of that year near Inde pendence. Land is a state' witness in the present case. ' anmt3 that the bill wouUJ establish a dangerous precedent and invade the power of congress to regulate' interstate comHic'rflei Those who supported the measure" were Messrs. Northway, Morse, LaoeyV IJainer, Willis, Grosve nor and HendeTMW Those who op" posed it were Messf CoopOT, Tucker, Cannon, Boatner, Clardy and! Williams. The bill is as follows) "That all articles known as oUuilUif' garine, butterine, imitation butter or imitation cheese, or any substance in the semblance of butter or cheese, not the usual product of the dairy, and not made exclusively of pure and un adulterated milk or cream, transported into any state or territory, or remain ing therein for use, consumption, sale or storage, shall, upon arrival in such state or territory, be subject to the operation and effect of the laws of such state or territory, enacted in the exer cise of its police powers, to the same extent and in the same manner as those articles or substances that hud been produced in such state or territory, ond shall not be exempt therefrom by rea son of being introduced there in origin al packages or otherwise, provided that nothing in this act shall be construed so as to permit any state to forbid the of oleomargarine except in such manner as will advise a customer of its real character. " Will Not Surrender. Washington, Jan. 18. Mr. Quesada, of the Cuban junta, today received a long letter from his uncle, Salvador de Cisneros, president of the Cuban repub lic, who, by inference, gives a denial to the reports that the insurgents are willing to negotiate terms of peace on any other basis than absolute inde pnndence. The letter says, in part: vve will renew our offensive cam paign in a few days. Gomez has left me to enter Santa Clara with reinforce ments and munitions of war. He will act further west Our situation is most prosperous, and if we had plenty of i ammunition, not only for rifles, but for ci'nnon, and in Camaguey a dynamite Ci.nnon, the railroads would be de- Onions 85o per sack. Poultry ChiokOhs, mixed, $2.00$ 2.50; geese, $8.00; turkeys, live. 10c: ducks, $4 4. 50 per dozen. v Eggs Oregon, 17 18 per dozen. Cheese Oregon, 12o; Young America, 18.0 per pound. Wool Valley, 10c per pound; East ern Oregon, 68o. Hops D10o por pound. Beef Gross", top steers, $2. 75 8. 00; Cows, $3,30Z5O; dressed beef, 4 4 XS tier Doflnd, Mutton Gross, iert sheep, wethers and ewes, $3.003.25;' dressed mut ton, 6 6o per pound. Hogs Gross, choice, heavy, $.35 8.50; light and feeders, $2. 50 8. 00; dressed, $4.004.60 per cwt, Veal Net, small, 6c; large, 50 per pound. ' Seattle, Wash., Jan. 19, 1897 Flour (Jobbing) Patent excellent, $5.25; Novelty A, $4.75; California brands, $5.60; Dakota, $5.50; patent, $6.25. Wheat Chicken feed, $27 per ton. Oats Choice, $24 25 per ton. Barley Kollcd or ground, fU2 per ton. Corn Whole, $22 per ton; cracked, $28; feed meal, $23. Millstuffs Bran, $16.00 per ton; shorts, $19. Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton; middlings, $24; oilcake meal, $28. Hay Puget sound, per ton, $9.00 10.00; Eastern Washington, $13. Butter Fancy native creamery, brick, 24c; select, 23c; tubs, 22c; ranch, 18o. Cheese Native Washington, 12o Vegetables Potatoes, per ton, $16 18; parsnips, per sack, 75c; beets, per sack, 60c; turnips, per sack, 60c; ruta bagas, per sack, 75c; carrots, per sack, 8545c; cabbage, per 100 lbs, $1.25; onions, per 100 lbs, $11.25. Sweet potatoes Per 100 lbs, $3.00. Poultry Chickens, live, per pound, hens, 8JviC; dressed, 10 13c; ducks, $2.003.50; dressed turkeys, 15 16a Eggs Fresh ranch, 10c; Eastern, 19c per dozen. Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef, steers, 6c; cows, 5o; mutton, sheep, 6c per pound; lamb, be; pork, Be per siroyed and the few garrisoned inland towns would be abandoned by the i tvmnd: veal, small. 6a enemy, and they would be confined to j Fresh Fish Halibut, 6 6; salmon, the coast. As I expect to receive these 1 k (86: salmon trout. 7 10: flounders war materials from abroad, we very , hnA soles. 3(3 4c. soon will drive them to the sea and be Provisions Hams, large, 12c; hams, in a position to tell them, when they j t1nllnt uyiC; breakfast bacon, 10c; Dallas, lex, Jan. io. ; . town Te8terdaT onder the guise of hour tonight the boys' department of ive tnunp, were mested Buckner's Orphan Home, five miles TegterdaT for highway robbery, from the ty, was destroyed by fire. u memberi of M Five boys penshed in the flames, and ' several others were burned. St. Petersburg, Jan. 18. Today, a ukase was published which refers to the necessity of the resumption of the mintage. It seems likely that the council's decision on the currency question will be prolonged, and as the country is anxious to' settle the dim (its which have arisen as to the caj-h value of gold coins, it orders the minting of imperials of a value of 15 instead of 10 roubles, these coins, however, being of exactly the same weight and fineness as I tn,t onl. existine et) ns. l-butterfly. depart, our last good-bye." f German Syndicate In Japan. London, Jan. 18. It is reported in a Berlin dispatch that word has been r!ceived from Tokio that twenty Ger man firms of engineers and shipbuild er in Japan hare formed a syndicate to contract for the work of the military and naval equipment to which Japan will devote the war indemnity. Of the 800,000 fossil insects collect ed from all over the world it is said that only twenty at Iheae are of ths dry salt sides, 6o per pound. San Francisco, Jan. 19, 1897. Potatoes Salinas Burbanks, 70 80c; Early Rose, 7075o; River Bur banks, 50 75c; Bweets, $1.60 1.00 per centaL Onions 6085c per cental. Eggs Store, 21 23c; ranch, 2427. Butter Fancy creamery, 25c: do seconds, 1820c; fancy dairy, 17c; seconds, 14 16c. Cheese Fancy mild, near, 11 I 11 He; fair to good, 8 10c; Young, America, ll12c; Eastern, 13014c. "I'll not be engaged to any man 'Less a solitaire he will bring;" She wis 20 then, alie'g 30 now; Hhe'd accept moat any old ring. Buffalo Times. Wife (dejectedly) I'm a perfect fright Husband (consolingly) No mortal Is perfect, dearest. Mr. 8a very What! Ketrlmmlng ysur last year's bat! You are an angel! Mrs. Savery An angel, am I? Well, then, give me $10 to buy wlngn. "Have Scribbler, the author, and hi wife made up?" "Oh, yes. She now reads what he writes and he eats what she cooks." FUegende Blaetter. "Well, now that you are back you can tell us how much It costs to go t Europe." "All you've got and all you can borrow over there." Judge. Dabney (Jllbney started on a century run to-duy. Babley Where has be gone? Dabney After the fellow who stole bis wheel. Roxbury Gazette. "By the way, bow did that scheme you went Into pan out the one to get sugar out of beets?" "We got beat out of the sugar." Cincinnati Enquirer. The story about a pretty girl kiss ing a burglar by mistake Is all wrong and should be suppressed. It is an Incentive to crime. Chicago Post Miss Scraggs-Yes; once, when 1 was out alone on a dark night, I saw a man. and, oh, my goodness, bow I ran! "And did you catch him, Miss ScraggsT' "When I get Into my new house I mean that everything shall go like clockwork." "I see; the same as here tofore; tick, tick." Boston Transcript. Truth crushed to earth will rise again, hen comes the proper Juncture, While error, wounded, writhes In pain, And can t repair her puncture. Indianapolis Journal. If Eve hadn't tempted Adam with that apple, what would tho modern tal lors, milliners and dressmakers ho do ing for a living now? SowrvUle Journal. "And what do you regard as the greatest triumph of modern surgery?" 'Collecting the bills," promptly re- nnnmleil tlio frrpnf nractitlopni. Ci cago Record, First Trump-That old feller what wuz glvln' ttie def lecture said he didn't know de taste o' liquor. Second Tramp Well, dot's some excuse fer him talk In' de way he did. Puck. J1 One Matron Since I have been mar rled I have taught my busbamJ good " taste, Another Really? It la a good thing for you that you did not teach hlto befofn you were married, . "Did old Grumpey make much of kick when you asked him for his daugh ter?" "Did be make much of a kick? The doctor says I am threatened with curvature of the spine." Detroit Free Press. K "Hark!'1 cried the iong-balred maga zine poet, "how tho people cheer me how they recognize genius." "You're mistaken," whispered his wife. f'Thejr think you are a foot-ball player." At lanta Constitution. Father It was strangely quiet In the parlor while that young fellow was call Ing last evening, Edith. Daughter Yes; he's one of the U. of M. tackier and seems to think of nothing else. Detroit Free Press. "I'm putting up a prescription for your wife's milliner," said the drug clerk to his employer. "What shall I charge her?" "What Is the usual price for what the Is getting?" "Fifty cents." "Charge her $2.75."-Texas Sifter. "Mrs. Dlgby has a husband that re ally thinks something of her." "What has he done?" "Why, Instead of bet ting to win a hat on the election for himself ho bet a new bonnet for his Wife." Chicago Record. "I," he shouted, Irapassloncdly from the rostrum, "I shall begin at once In the noble work of crushing tyrants!" Then, after the storm of applause had ceased, be went home and tried to mash the hired girl. Cincinnati Enquirer. Mrs. DuBonberry It's dreadful to bo disappointed In love. Mr. Dusenberry There Is something a great deal worse than that. Mrs. Dusenberry What, for instance? Mr. Dusenberry To be disappointed In marriage. Texas Sifter. "How do you like the new leading lady you have, Footlltes?" "She won't do at all. She's only been married twice, and hasn't had any diamonds stolen for a year. She's got no ener gy at all." Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. "Did you know," said the man who was reading an article about the con traction of metals, "that a clock ticks faster In winter than summer?" "No, never noticed that about a clock. But I know a gas meter does." Wash ington Star. Husband (to wife) I cannot conceive what U the matter with my watch; I think It must want cleaning. Spoiled Child (breaking in) Oh, father, I don't think It needs cleaning. Baby and I had It washing In the basin for ever.., so long this morning. Mr. Sprlgglns (gently) My dear, a Boston man was shot at by a burglar, and bis life was saved by a button which the bullet struck. Mrs. Sprig ginsWell, what of It? Mr. Sprlgglns Nothing, only the buttons must have been on. Boston Traveler. "I don't think that Benner Is a sin cere writer," remarked one young man. . "You think be doesn't mean what as says?" "Yes." "Well, I know better than that I saw something that bs wrote ths other day, and I'm sure bs meant every word of It it was a re quest for a loan of $5." Washington Star,