Image provided by: Crook County Historical Society/Bowman Museum; Prineville, OR
About Ochoco review. (Prineville, Crook County, Or.) 1885-1??? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1887)
-V. V i-m.. ; " OCHOCO REVIEW. PK15IVILLK, OBKQOK. OF GENERAL INTfcRfcST. Smelting hits been completely for fcktdan'on any part of Ciucimiati's burse cars. The New York Evening Post tg vrva the cost of labor strikes for the kwt year at $10,000,000. A lady being questioned in court the other day as to why she had changed her religion, stated she had done so beeatise, being separated from hnr husband, she determined to avoid jiw;ng him in the next world. Columbus, Ga., is the only city in the South that has no morning news paper. Persistent lovers there do not kave to bribe the carrier; if they make it square with the milkman they can etay till it is almost time for breakfast. Homerville Journal. Jon ;u nan Houstih, a ragged old man, of Decatur, Ind., died recently, and the authorities ordered his clothes to be burned. Before the order was "yWriei oitt the raS were examined, -and $200 in currency and f 4,300 in cer- tilicstes of deposit to the Adams Coun ty Bank were found. Lovers of the waltz mny celebrate its centenary. The first dance which could be described as a walu was in- traduced to the public, in an opera at ienna in li87 by one icente Martin y Solar (commonly called Martini lo Jspagnuolo), who w;is a popular com- poser at the court of Joseph II. A water-rat weighing probably more than two pounds was seen to go to a brood of chickens and seize one. The hen chased the rat and a desperate light ensued, the hen eventually sue ceding in killing its foe and rescuing "the chicken. The latter appeared little the worse for its strange experience, In Tangipahoa Parish, La., is an rsranizatH.il called the "White Ilorse- aaen." The members wear white masks and white uniforms, cover their horses with white cloths, and devote onsiderable attention to negroes who are suspected of stealing. The last ne they whipped had just robbed a 6mokehou.se. The hackmen of Victoria, British Columbia, subscribed $100 toward the elebration of the Queen's jubilee at that place, but the hack ordinance was published in the Colonitt, and they as serted that this, by apprising visitors of their rights, reduced the hackmen's profits, and they refused to pay the money subscribed. According to an analysis made by a chemist in the employ of the New York Horld only twentv-six per cent f the milk sold in that city is adulter ated by the sellers. It is the retailer and the hotel and restaurant people who give it that pale blue tint bo familiar to all who have the hardihood to call for a glass. Detroit Free Press. Ida Boles, who works at a Reading hotel, arose the other morning with a stinging sensation in her head, fol lowed by a terrible headache. She went to a physician, who removed from her ear an ugly-looking night bug, about one-third of an inch long. The insect was one of the bugs often seen flying in the vicinity of strong lights at Bight. FINE TABLE LINEN. antlful Design Wrought Upon the Moat xqutt Fabrics. "All the uptown people have their wn ideas regarding their table linen," said a well-known dealer recently. "Nearly all the foreign countries man ufacture table linen, and there is some made in this country, but there is a marked difference between the Scotch, Irish, Dresden, German and French eloths, which are considered the best grades. The difference is not only in - texture, but in pattern. The French eloth is most fashionable. It differs from the others in being of much lighter texture and more elaborate decoration. Almost all the cloths have large center-pieces. Two favorite patterns are the Pom peiian and the Pois Medina. The cen ter of the first is filled in with large square blocks and the border surround ' ing it is of triangles. The second is composed of medium sized balls and a border of larger balls, around which are twined myrtle leaves. Another much-used pattern is. the Caprice, which has a perfectly plain center and is surrounded by large flowers. One of the most expensive patterns is the Hirondelles. This linen is beautifully marked. The border is a design of rocks out of which are growing cat tails, while in the center are small swallows. The birds are exquisitely , wrought The feathers on their wings are so. true to nature as to stand out in a fluffy mass. The cost of a set of these, including a tablecloth and a dozen napkins, reache one hundred dollars. In some instances the linen is em broidered, and this increases the price fourteen or fifteen dollars. A late raze is for cipher monograms, and nearly all the linen sent out is embroid ered in that way. Some of the larger families still stick to monograms, while oehers of the elder stock insist upon having their coats-of-arms embroidered hereon. The best French tablecloths and napkins are nearly all woven at Kicrre, in France. The work is done ' ntirely by hand. The flax from which the linens are woven comes mostly from the neighborhood of Coutrai in Flanders, where a line variety is raised. It is so long and slender as to require support while growing. Jf. Y. Mail and Express. TROUBLES OF TOURISTS. The IMmeultlM la tha Way of Obtaining- a farced la Naples. Let us suppose that on reaching homo the visitor hoars that a parcel from England awaits him at the rail wastntion. Unable to go himself, he sends his servant with the money, the official roooipt," and a written request to the station master to hand the parcel to tho bearer. That ought to sulllce. ho thinks; hut no one accustomed to Neapolitan ways will be surprised lo learn that it does not Tim bearer of the note is unknown personally to tho station master, and he must bo identi tied. Fortunately this is not a difficult task, and a mutual acquaintance is un earthed close by. But a now difficulty is at once forthcoming. The parcel is declared to be of value, (though ob viously only a suit of clothes,) and the signer must either present himself m person or appoint an accredited agent to deliver the parcel at his house. Next day, accordingly, the signer pre' sents himself; but here again identiti cation is required, and this time it is attended with so much trouble that in disgust he accepts the services of an accredited agent The following day this gentleman presents himself with - the- purovi, . .and the satis faction is tempered by the little account produced with it There is. first of all, the cost of the carriage; then the ordinary customs; then the town dues; then a charge for every day that it has been lying at the sta tion; thcu the agent s charge, hi tram, an extra sou or two because it is a warm day, and a glass of v ino to wash it all down. On the next occa- siou when a parcel is sent from En gland, our visitor determines that it shall not bo sent as a thing of value and that it shall take its chance, but only to find that it makes no difference. A new set of excuses is framed, and it is not until the authority has made his little profit that the parcel reaches its destination. We have ourselves never yet been able to discover whether this is legalized or illegal robbery, but on one occasion we endeavored to escape the blackmailing by directing the par cel to be sent on by post This was no advantage; the gain appeared to be transferred from the station-master to postmaster, though perhaps they went hulves. This latter was almost a gen tleman in appearance, but he was not above accepting an extra three sous. which the steepness of the hill had given him the excuse to ask for. Mur ray s Magiizint. THE TYPICAL AUSTRALIAN. Hoapltallty of the Well-to-Do Uraziera or Squatter of the Antipodes. No man is more hospitable than the well-to-do Australian. A visitor arriv ing well introduced will be passed on from villa to villa, from country house to country house, and from run to run, sharing everywhere the most profuse kindness. In a few weeks he will hardly know who first started him on the progress he is making. There is little snobbery in the coun try, but as most of the people are self- made, the parvenu is, of course, not an unknown personage, though the circumstances of the country and of tho people prevent him or her becoming quite so objectionable as he or she would be in an older condition of so ciety. Phe squatters or graziers are the aristocrats of the country, though some of the successful of them have been butchers and drovers, possibly even of humbler or less reputable antecedents. They are imbued with extremely terri torial instincts, and will refer to the small farmer, "who selects" under the colonial land laws a bit of the run he leases from the Government, or the ir reverential gold digger, as an English squire would speak of a poacher, or a many-acred peerof the "city man" who builds a "snug box" overlooking his park wall. Yet while the English squire is like ly to talk of every thing rather than of is rent roll or the balance he has at the banker's, the squatter will hardly fail to tell his visitor of what he has got last summer for his wool, or what he expects to get this winter for the fatoxen which are grazing in the pret ty but roughly kept paddock you can ee from tho veranda surrounding the country house, which he built when he got beyond the "hut" stage of brush Uruggling existence. The ladies are well educated, but hough charming company for a visit- jr they are as a rule somewhat "loud" ind inclined to exact the utmost defer snce from all the male world around :hem and to repay it by as little vener ition as possible, Nobody awes them. 4s are the mistresses so are the maids, vho have much of the pertness of such ioung persons, as exhibited in plays ind on the stage generally. Countries tftlie World. He Teok It Coolly. A Chicago traveler tells the follow ing on a Philadelphia man : They were sitting together on the front steps of the Philadelphia man's residence when a fire engine dashed by, leaving in its wako a train of smoke and sparks. Horses and wagons were turned out to the curb with as much speed and dexterity as could bo com manded, to make room for the big horses as they dashed down the street In a few minutes a hose reel came hur rying down, the horses fairly leaping to reach the conflagration which was now reddening the sky. Next the hook and ladder wagon came- thundering down the street The Philadelphia man watched it till it was out of sight and then turning to his companion quietly remarked : "There must be afire somewhere." - Mcrcuu4 Traveler- THE PITCHER'S ARM. A New rhyalologleal Development fur Uae Mail ferluruiern. A now physiological development Iiiii- roinii from tho Introduction of "modern curvo pitching, and Is known rts the 'pitcher's arm." Just as scrivener's paralysis is produced by using certain muscles in excess, tho pitcher's arm is the result of the peculiar motion which tho modern pitcher uses to give the ball that long-doubtod twist which alone seems able to strike out tho op posing batsman, and earn tho pitcher's salary. Dr. Leuf, of Philadelphia, discusses this subject in a manner deserving the attention of all present base ball lights and of tho more youthful aspirants for the future. Dr. Leuf estimates that a pitcher averages about one hundred and eighty pitches in a game, in eacli of which tho ball is delivered with almost all possible speed. With tho manner of producing the curve tho readers of the Sun are already familiar, but the special muscles engaged and nll'ected by tho process of curving are so lucidly discoursed upon by Pr. Leuf that we will follow ins wonts in tliciujnost nn oortant bearimr. Ha delinVv viu- f of trouble when the incurvV" "' , ut curve, the down-curye, andJL. . W curve have been resorted to in excess, as follows: Tho in-curve calls into action most particularly the pectoralis major, the biceps, brachialis anticus, and flexors of the forearm. The out-curve affects the pectoralis major, coraco-brachialis. infraspinatus, teres minor, and ulnar muscles. The down-curve strains most especially the pectoralis major, trapez lus, deltoid, and serratus magnus. The iqi-curve is mostly caused by the pectoralis major, biceps, and supinator brevis. If Larry Corcoran had but known that his trouble lay in the coraco-bra-chailis, or in his infraspinatus, wouldn't he have dropped his out curve like a hot potato until the crumbling foundation of his fame and fortune had got wellr i he up-curvo also strains tho lattissi- musdorsi. All curves strain the elbow joint and tend to separate the radius and the capitellum of the humerus. The constant necessity for quick twist of the elbow have a particular unfor tunate effect upon the brachialis anticus. Als for the brachialis! ' Dr. Leuf maintains that tho bones ol a pitchers arm may be seriously affected. The constant strain upon the bone by the pulling tendons pro duces inflammation and calcareous de posits, and the periosteum being pulled about hypertrophy of the subjacent bone follows. These are only the principal points of Dr. Leaf's thesis. In regard to treatment regular exercise is recom mended. Do not pitch too swiftly when you have an "oil clay; when you tin , not feel able to do 3-ourself justice, don't try to pitch liard," - ffrl - - average be less considered than your arm; but to be in good form a pitcher must practice about an hour morning and afternoon, Sundays included. All exercise must be taken in the sun. if the thermometer is below sixty vigor ous pitching is risky, and the danger increases as the temperature falls. Never use liniments. They are no good. Kubbiug is had, too. Hot water is good, as is also mud galvan ism. Alas, how many famous arms are now comparatively quiet, and their owners no longer figures for jnpular admiration on account of a "pitcher's arm." How many brilliant reputa tions have been ruined through the ignorance of or contempt for facts and principles which Dr. Leuf lays down with such experienced authority. Lei us trust that his precepts will be heeded. In that case the ball field now so strewn with the wrecks oi twirlers may be trod by an unbroken list of capable and unsluggable pitch ers, ench with sound arms and a salary ol f 1U.UUU a year. A". 1. Sun. A Ball Club Manager's Lot. The life of a base ball manager is n strange one. If his team is winning right along he is left alone, and what ever credit there may be goes to the team. If his team commences to hist he is blamed and the team exctined foi the poor work. Last season, notwith standing the fnost determined efforts, I was unable to get a winning team to gether, uiid was criticised severely by press and public. , This ye;irAtlirongh u combination of good luck, 1 yrtiercd n good team, and now the citnit goes to the team and not to mc. It is true my mind is easy, as the press can not criti cise rue, but the credit of gathering a winning team is never given, although the team, as such, engrosses the atten tion of press and nubile. Kurelv fl base ball nmiingcr'g task is a thankless one. Manuyer Barnes, in liallitnore Sun- Hints for Pall-Bearers. When a man is asked to act as n pall-beareratafunerat he ought to seek out tho other pall-bearers before they assume their crape and their mournful air, and practice the lock-step with them for an hour or so, or at least until ho can be confident that they are going to keep step wnen they hit up the cof fin and start off with it I was a pall bearer recently, and my arms and knees pain mo now with the recollec tion. When a party of pull-bearer take up a coffin and step out of time, the weight conies principally upon the two end bearers, and it is no easy thing for two men to sustain by tho sharp handles of a coffin tho weight of the casket itself and the corpse within. tt. Loum UlQbe-jJijrnacrnL . TORNADOES AND CYCLONES. The lllflwrenre In the Formation of Tor nntlo-WhlrUi inil Wlih'l wliulrf. When tho conditions of atmospheric Instability have given birth to a tor nado, tho fact is announced to the ob server by a sudden gathering of dark, swift-whirling clouds, from which de pend ft writhing, serpent-liko body formed of condensed 'vapor. This writhing column extends rapidly downward until it touches tho earl h. When it attains tho surface it becomes audible from tho violent rending ac tions which it creates upon that sur faeo. As soon, as tho whirl is cronled it begins to move away generally toward the northeast for the evident reason that tho upper cold layer of air ngninst which it originates lias, in tho mii'lhern hemisphere, a movement in that direction. In Its path over tho smfiteo tho circling moveniont of tho writhing air and the sucking action of tho partial vacuum in tho central por tion of tho shaft combine to bring about nn oxtremo devastation. On Lhe outside of tho whirl tho nil', which rushes In a circling path toward llio vortex, overturns all movable objects, and in tho center these objects, if not too heavy, urn sucked up as by a great alr-pimip. Thus the. roofs... of houses bodies of moil and animals may bo lifted to great elevations, until they are tossed by the tumultuous move ments beyond tho limits of tho ascend ing currrents and fall upon the earth. Where tho center of the whirlwind passes oyer a building tho sudden de crease in tho pressure of the outer air often causes tho ainiosphcru which is contained within tho walls suddenly to press against the sides of the struct ure, so that these sides are quickly driven outward as if by a charge of gunpowder. It is not unlikely that tho dimuuitioii of pressure brought about by the passage of tho Interior of the whirl over a building may bo about as much as Is indicated by the fall of four Inches in tho barometer. This is equivalent to a change in the pressure amounting to about throe hundred pounds to tho square foot This force operates to burst out the walls of a building. It is not improbable that the diminution of pressure may bo much greater than this, but oven tho amount named is sufficient to account for tho bursting out of the frail-walled structures which these devastating movements encounter la the western parts of the United States. Iho way in which these tornado- whirls are formed differs in cert-tin es sential particulars from tho way in .which whirlwinds sre created, as lias boeu well shown by Prof. FerraL The most important points of differenco are as follows: The dust-whirls aru due to the heating of a thin layer of air next the ground. Tho small mass of this layer prevents its upward whirling from bringing about any powerful movements of the atmosphere. In the trilllli() tna heat of the lower air has di tie rent origin. When a cyclone passes over the surface of tho country, certain peculiar movements of tho at mosphere which it produces bring largo volumes of the warm and moist ened air to tho earth's surface and overlay them by a cool stratum. This layer of warm, moist air tends to rise up for tho same reason that the thin layer of dry air which forms tho dust whirl is impolod upward, but on ac count of its great mass the Intensity of tho upward urgeuco is far greater. In the sand-whirl the upward motion be gins closo to tho earth's surface, for the reason that tho stratum which is inieled upward is very thin, but in the tornado Iho stratum of heated air is usually about a thousand feet thick; therefore Its whirling action naturally originates at tho up per surface of the hot layer, for it ta at that point the upward motion begins. Starting in this upper region, tho whirl extends progressively downward, just us in tho bath-tub the whirl extends progressively upward from tho point at which tho motion originated, until the wind may touch tho surface of tho earth. When these whirls begin they only involve a small part of tho air about the point of origin, and so tho acquired velocity of tho parllclos when thoy come lo tho center is not great, but gradually they suck air from far ther and farther away. As the Hold of supply becomes larger, and tho par ticlos movo from a greater distance, they approach that center with greater speed, and the spiral widens and turns with accelerated velocity. Fortunately tho path of tornadoes are ordinarily very narrow the wid est have a diameter of less than two miles; tho narrowest of only forty feet. In most cases a tornado is seriously destructive over a width not exceed ing iivo hundred feet Tho length c,f tho tornado's path across tho country docs not commonly oxcoed thirty miles, and it generally traverses the distnnco in about nn hour. When tho upward corkscrew motion of tho 'outer part of the spiral and tho swifter uprush of tho air through tho central shaft have drained away the most of tho warm air which gavo birth to tho motion, tho tornado dies away. The equilibrium of tho air-masses Is for a time restored, tho heavier air has fal len down upon tho surface, and the warm air, spreading literally as it at tains the level to which it tends, comes into a state of quiet. Assuming tho width of the destruction brought about by tho storm at six hundred fcot, and the length of its journey at thirty miles, wo find that the area of its de vastation amount to about two thou sand acres or to a squaro area about two miles on aside. Over this area tho destruction Is ordinarily nioro com plete than that which occurs it) tho most severe earthquakes. N. S. huler, in Scribntr's Magazine. THE WORLD'S BIO GUNS. Home of the Moiiatnr Unlit for the Bhlpa ami Forts of Foreign rowan, Tho progress of thirty years in con structing h 'Hvogiins has boon extraor dinary. Tho largest plooes found on war vess 'Is H 18ti0 throw a ball weigh lug slxty-claht pounds, with nn initial velocity of 1,570 foot per second and an energy of 1,100 font Ions. Now Initial velocities in high-powor guns have boon Increased lo 2,100 foot; pro jectiles nt t!io maximum weight as 2.300 pounds, and In somo cases are propelod by cliiirgos of nearly half a ton of powder, while Iho 110-ton guns of tho Dn How reach an onergy ol about GO, 000 foot tons. Passing over tho triumphs obtained by Intermediate calibers, which wore remarkable in their day, wo find that tho largest French stool guns, Hugh as are used for tho armament of the Terrible, completed at Hrest, the Hequln, built at lWdnaux, tin Indomitable, built at L'Oi'iout, and the Caiman, finished at Toulon, weigh each about seventy -six tons. They deliver a projectllo weighing 1,716 pounds, with a mu.ulo velocity of 1.7:19 feet per second, and a muai.lo, energy ol :10. 000 foot tons. Tho guns are villed breechloaders, Tho French have other powerful jr-ins,- thoao constructed on the Uango svstom being well known. Tho Armstrong gnu now mounted for service hi the Italian armor-clad-Duilion, Dandolo, Italia and Lopanlo weigh 100 tons each, and throw a pro ji'ctito of 2,000 pounds. Theso have long been familiar, but the la'er broach-loading guns are improvement over the early nuizle loaders. Tin most powerful of Ihom tako a powder charge of about .772 pounds, ejtnd have an Initial velocity of l,8!tt feet pel second and a muzzle energy of ,51.0 T.) foot tons, (inns of 105 tons have alsu been made at. Elswlck for tho Frances co Laurla, Iho Andrea loua ami the Miirosiiil. In these tho weight of the charge Is 90J pounds, tho weight of the projectile 2.0(H) pounds, the iniizz'e velocity 2,019 feet per second, the inua r.lo energy ,r)fi,.')47 foot tons. These will undoubtedly prove most formida ble weapons. Tho largest Krupp gun weighs near ly 119 tons. It is over 48 foot long, has a caliber of 15 inches, and fires shot weighing 2 314 pounds, with n muzzle velocity of 1,800 feet The maximum elevation givos it a fauge of nearly 7J miles. Its power of pene tration Into wrought iron is estimated at about 41 Inchns at tho muzzle, 21 inches at tho distanci of 1,100 yards, and 30 inches at 300 yards. At the distunes of 3 miles Its striking average Is BiitT aWit 28,000 foot tons. lh Italians have two of these guns mount ed In a shore battery, for which pur poso they are intended. Tho English 110-ton gun, nmnufact ured at Klswick, is about 44 feet long, and Its notual weight 247. 7M pounds. lhe screw block, removed in loading, weighs 2 tons. The pn jnctilo is n bolt weighing 1.K00 pounds, and 10 inches In diameter. With 850 pound of powder the actual inozzle velocity attained was 2.078 feet, and the muz zle energy 84.000 foot tons; so that with O.iO pounds which tho gun is con structed to uso, an energy on tho pr jeciiie or tz. (w loot tons is cx pceted. Tho recoil of lhe gun very small. Tho Uritish also have powerful new gun in their (S3-ton steel breechloader, which will Imi car ried on tho Itolncy. It Is expected t throw 1,11-lncli shot, of 1.2V) pounds, with a powder chnrtra of 680 pounds, and to attain 2.100 feet muzzle velocity. Should theso expectations bo realize!, this gin, thoiigi nun lighter, will bo more destructive than the 80-ton gun of the Inflexible, which takes apr jeclilo of 1,700 pounds, with a cartridge of 450 pounds, reaching i muzzle velocity of 1.600 foot It is saiil . that the next stop at tempted in heavy gun construction will bo that of a 150-ton monster, this project being attributed to tho Ksseit works. It would throw a shell six foot long, weighing a ton and a halt There nro also some guns under con struction which are expected to ac complish great results on somewhat now theories, as in tho case of tho one manufactured for Colonel Hope. Tills Is to take an enormous powder charge, and to have correspondingly great penctrntivo effect. J it without going into the possible successes of the future, thoso which have already been achieved nro sufficiently astonishing. H. Y. Hun. In tho Whito mountains thero is a great ravlno known ns "Tho Gulf of Mexico," whero tho snow lies unmelt ed far into tho summer. Frederick Levitt, a young Bostonian, being am bitious to tako a snow slido on tho Fourth of July, wont to tho top of the snow bank In tho ravine, and started to slide down. Tho snow was so hard and slippery ho could not control his speed, anu was ttirown uonmoiig oyer tho jagged rocks, and fell a distance of ono hundred and twenty feet, lie was badly Injured; but, strangoto say, not a limb was brokon, and it vyas thought that ho might recover. N. Y. Ledger. A weo young lady of about threo yoars, who lives on the North Side, has a brother who has arrived at the period of cigarettes and slang, and whoso ex pressions nro quickly caught up by the little girl. Sho was very much put out by tho rain, which continued for sev eral days early In the month, and one day sho sorrowfully asked her mother, "Mamma, who makes It wainP" lin ing told that it was God, sho said; "In my prayers to-night, Tmimmii, I shall ask Dod to turn off'." Chieugo Trilh une. HUMOROUS. Cold Comfort "Has tho train startedP" asked a belated passenger, as he rushed up to the station at Bridgeport "Yes." answered a b-novolont-looklng old lady, "but It will stop at Now Haven." "I want tn bean angol," sung a female voloo in a side room; and, there upon, a heartless wretch In an adjoin ing apartment broke forth wltlu "Johnnie, get your gun, fcot your gun, guu gun," Boston Transuript. City Girl "Are those greatntrong cows over thero yours, sirP" Farmer "Yes, mum; and they aro tho strongest in this sVetion." City girl- 'Then you must be tho man that makes that awfully strong butter, ain't youF"' Tho Result of Tight Lacing. Tlinra Is a youiiK itlrl out nt Do, Do, A nil bar looks Uiy were iU to be no, to; tut lit Hillt liur ili'iir fuua lly her uorevt s tliiht luce A nil now slio run Kt nury bnuu bnau. tiprinyJieUt lictmblknn. "My dear old friend, how wero you able to acquire such nil Im mense fortune?" "Hy a very simple method." "What method is that?" "When I was poor I Hindu out that I was rich, and when I got rich I made out that I was poor." Tetaa itiflinqa. ;ht (to his client) "Did ever.trv to settle this mutter with the pliilntlllP" Client "Yes, I did all I could to sottlo It."' Lawyer "What did ho say?" Client "lie told mo to go lo the devil." Lawyer "Well, what didyoti do then?" Client "Why, then I came to you!" .V. Y. Ledqer. "Kxciihii me, sir," ho said. " but you are something of a reading man, ' are you not?" "O. yes, sir, I often read half the night through." "1 thought ho. 1 am seldom mistaken In judging character. You have a pas slou for literature, I suppose?" "Not exactly; I'm a proof-reader. " Hun. Professor " To-day you another spectnclo of yourself. X J ". made I am much dlspleasi'd with you and wish to remark that to-morrow I will punish all of you severely unless you aro h quiet that a mouse can I heard lo run across tho floor," A Scholar "If yon please, professor, shall 1 bring a mouse with ue In the morning. Tiit-llita. Hoarding-House French. Mrs. A. (who Is taking French lessons). "Now, Itiidget. when lVof. Hlaliquo votnc you must say Kntrt-n to him, and ho will know what you mean and eomo Into tho parlor." (The bell rings, unci Bridget goes to the door. It Is the professor). "Ontario," says lirldget. "Wud ye walk into tho pairlcr. sir?" (Tho professor walked in and lirldget reported her triumph to the cook.) Harper' Biixur, Of ' MISCELLANEOUS. Thompaon "Jonos seems to b very opulnr. I wonder what's the reason P" Johnson "It's all duo U the way tie greets a man." "Yes" ia umrn iiiiiui urn ne say ; 'iA-iJ.. : liavn Honii!tliiiiir ' " I'ltlil.iirn h J,- patci. The Norfolk Ketr tells of a young man named Charles Hwedenburg who is charged with stealing lifty-two dol lars from his widowed mother. He ha not lamn examined. Ho can never ho successfully examined without tho aid of a microscope. A beautiful geyser has bekheil forth at tho Upper Basin, near Mam moth Hot Springs, Wyoming. It throws a stream Into the nir 150 feet in height. It is located two hundred yards from the Spasmallc, ami is one of the grand est on tho formation. "Jenkins "Don't you enjoy the conversation of Kliifkins? I think him an inimitable talker." Smith "O, yes, 1 like it; but thero Is one thing lie can't do that I would enjoy much morn." J. "What is thai?" S.-"Kccp hi mouth shut" lloaton Budget. Quito a number of persons crossed tho Arkansas river the other tlay it Garden City to see a herd of buffalo now grazing on tho prairies. Thero are aliout thirty young calves and ono or two cows In the herd. Tho owner intends making an effort to cross them with domestic cuttle. To Regulate THE FAVORITE HOME REMEDY it warruntrd not lo contain a j(U pat lick of Mercury or anv iniurutua tub feuncc, but 1b purely vfttW It will Our all DUeaMi mumcI . by Derangement of th Liver, Kidneys tvnd Btomaon. If your Liver la out of order, then your whole lyxtem la deranged. The blood ie impure, the breath oflcmive you have headache, fed languid, dispirited nd nervotii. To prevent a mere Mriuua con- anion, take at once bunmona liver;: EGULATOR. If you lend a denttuv life, op tiifler with Kldmtv A flYMitletiM. nvuiil timuienu and Uke bitnmooa liver Regulator, bure to relieve, If you hv cntcn anything tinrd of digration, or feel heavy after ! or leelcH at nlitlit, uk uVm ami you will feel relieved and ileep pleatantly. If yeu are a mlneratila auflerar with Cuiiat iimtlon, llyaMiat ami ItiHnuaiinaa, aeek relief at onoa in SimmeiM Liver Kcgulator. It deea nox require continual doting, and com but a trifle, It will cur you. If you wake up In the morning with a bitter, bad tattle In yeur mouth, IH A T7TJ Slmmona I.lver Regulator. It enr I UK T, ' the Uilleiia Stomach, aweetem aUAJJ the Ilrenth,andcleanMi lhe Furred 1 mtltue. ( lillili en hen need some aale Cathnr tio and Tonic to avert approaching ncknesn. rrimmone Liver Regulator will relieve Cell, Head iche, Hick Stomach, iinliiintlon, Dyiontorr. and the Complaint! incident lu Childhood, At any time you feel your yatem needa cleaning, toning, rcmilutinKwItht.jtvialcnt punting, or atiiiiuluting without latuxi caiing, take immons Livsr Regulator. rntfAHia BY H. ZEIUH & CO., Philadelphia, Pa - v IHICJS, H1.0O. 1 v -- I I.. I an a-""1-1" ' "