The Capital Journal
FRIDAY EVKXJXO
November 2:i, 1!'17
imtia
CHARLES H. FI3HEB
Editor and Publisher
I Page
or
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A BROKEN BEAN KETTLE
A CHEERING OMEN
While the Americans had no part in the drive which
has sent the Hindenburg line smashed into the discard, it
is undoubtedly true that the presence of American troops,
to the number of a couple of hundred thousand heartened
the British and gave them confidence. Apparently the
British have been afraid to advance and follow up their
gains as they did in the latest smash. Not that the in
dividual bravery was lacking, for British valor has been
tested too often and never found wanting to even permit
such a thought, but that the leaders feared some trap,
some loss that would weaken their defense to the danger
point. This fear the advent of the Americans has re
moved. It is a happy omen that with the addition of the
American troops the greatest victory has been won. If
this is the result of moral aid what will happen when the
boys in khaki get into action along with their allies?
Margaret Garrett's -
By JAKE PHELPS
ANGER AND EMBARRASSMENT.
The governor is so busy attending to various and sun
dry matters, that he apparently has not time to repair his
bean- kettle. Evidently that important culinary and
political pot has gone wrong as to its bail, which has a
fashion of slipping out of the lugs on the side of the ket
tle, and the result is his excellency goes around holding
the utensil by one lug with the result that the beans are
spilled indiscriminately. He spilled the frijoles plentiful
ly when he removed Superintendent Crawford from the
care of the flax plant; and Wednesday he allowed another
large sized portion of the bean kettle to scatter itself all
the way from the gubernatorial rooms under the big dome
to the county seat of Columbia county. The governor is
probably not neglectful, only forgetful. This is apparent
from the fact that the two weeks he gave Superintendent
Crawford to resign slipped his memory in less than ten
minutes and Crawford found the time had elapsed while
he was waiting for a street car to take him back to the
prison plant.
It was demonstrated again Wednesday when as a dele
gation of forty or fifty citizens of Columbia coutny came
to Salem to ask the apponitment of Martin White, at
present deputy assessor of the county to the position of
county judge.
They, some of them, claimed the governor had agreed
to give them a hearing before making any appointment,
but when they arrived at the inner sanctum of the capitol,
they were smilingly told they were too late and that the
governor had already selected a man for the place.
There was no use arguing, notmng to be gained by
kicking, and so the delegation filed out again, while the
governor stood holding his bean kettle by its dismantled
bail, heedless of the fact that the beans were being spilled.
What makes the waste especially aggravating is the high
cost of the Boston dish and particularly the dish of the
political kind of beans. There is a delegation of forty or
liftv down at St. Helens that is for Olcott, Moser or even
a democrat rather than the somewhat' forgetful gentle
man from Corvallis, as a successor to the present
governor.
According to the dispatches the German agents are
again trying to stir up trouble between this country and
Mexico. The object is not so much the difficulty with
Mexico itself they desire as to force this country to take
drastic steps with her and so arouse the enmity of the
other Latin republics. For this reason and for the further
one that just now Uncle Sam has other fish to fry but
little attention will be paid to Mexico unless Villa makes
another raid across the border, and even this might not
just now cause any very active steps to be taken. If
Mexico wants serious trouble though, all she has to do is
to follow German guidance. When the present war is
over will be the time to settle affairs in Mexico, and when
this is done they will be settled for all time.
Those Germans who had never seen a "tank" until a
herd of them- broke through the entanglements and
swooped down on them Wednesday must have felt much
as a fellow would who woke up to find himself back in the
reptilian age with a gathering of Ichthvosauri dinotheri-
idae, mastodons, megatheriums, plesiosauri, pterodactyls
and the like making combined attack on him. It surely
must nave been the delirium tremens stage of war.
According to an opinion given out by Attorney General
Brown, under the Oregon laws a coroner can hold an in
quest on a person not yet dead. This in case of one being
dangerously wounded when such inquest may disclose the
person inflicting the wound. This makes it quite proper
to discuss, well some gubernatorial aspirants.
Evidently there is considerable difference between the
way the German soldiers and the civilians fare. Accounts
of the capture of trenches in Haig's latest drive tell of
luxuriantly furnished quarters of officers with wine and
cigars plentiful. This is quite a contrast with the condi
tions at home if stories of such are true.
The Southern Pacific cannot get freight cars built but
the Iwohy Brothers of Portland have taken a contract to
build 2,500 for the Russians. In the meanwhile the car
shortage on the company's lines in this state is less than
this number, being only about 2,200.
General Starvation may prove to be the leader to bring
the Russian people back under some form of government.
He is a great disciplinarian, and that is what Russia most
needs.
There are no birds in last year's- nests," says the
proverb. 1 he same cannot be said of cold storage plants
where chickens of the vintage of 1915, it is claimed, can
be found. i '
From the character of the fog yesterday it must have
been a small section of Puget Sound weather got away
from the weatherman and drifted over into the valley.
Rippling Rhymes I
by Walt Mason
CHAPTER LXV.
Before I turned and surreptitiously
glanced around I knew it was handsome
Fred Langworth who was talking. I had
seen no one else that I knew. But I
assured myself that it was he, then hur
ried on my way; my face flushing with
auger and embarrassment.
In the quick, casual glance I threw
behind me J had noted the style and
beauty of the woman to whom Bob's
friend had been talking; and I fairly
trembled with rage as I recalled the
words he had used in describing me. I
was a 'stick' a 'strait-laced female'
from whom he felt like praying to be
delivered. And they had pitied Bob be
cause he was tied to me as Mr. Lang
worth had expressed it. A nice crowd
for Bob to be running around withl peo
ple that didn 't hesitate to criticize me,
Ins wire, and to pity him. I would tell
him just what I had heard. Perhaps he
would see that his Bohemian friends
were not as perfect as ho would have
me think.
"I met one of your friends today."
I told him at dinner, trying to keep the
indignation I felt from my voice.
" i ou did! who was it?" he asked.
"That fellow you introduced me to
at the Kevourt, Mr. Langworth."
Lp to the time I mentioned the name
Bob had shown little or no interest.
Now however he was all attention.
"Where did you see him?"
"At the restaurant where I had my
luncheon. ' '
Did you speak to him?"
No, he spoke to me.'
What did he have to say. He's
usually well worth listening to."
"IIo said I was a 'stick,' a 'strait-
laced female' and that he pitied you."
"What are you talking about, Mar
garet? Fred Langworth never said such
things to you that is, unless he's gone
crazv."
He may be crazy for all I know,
but he certainly said just what I have
told you ho did. It makes no difference
that he said it to gome one else as long
as I overheard it."
"Will you tell me what you are talk
ing about, Margaret?"
"1 am telling you what your mend
said
"You must have misunderstood
him.
"I did not misunderstand, he was al
together too plain in his speech," I re
plied, then went on and told Bob just
what Mr. Langworth had said and also
described the woman with him. "I hope
you will be ready to believe me when
I say they are not proper people for
you to associate with. The idea of pity
ing you! I should think it would make
you furious."
Bob made no reply and 1 persisted.
"Did you hear what I saidf"
"Yes, I am not deaf."
"And you do not resent his pity?"
"We'll not talk about that."
When talking to Bob all the indig
nation I had felt when I heard myselt
discussed by Fred Langworth returned.
could hear again the mocking laugh
ter of the handsome woman with him,
and I lost all control of myself. I rag
ed and stormed. I declared that I would
do something desperate unless Bob
swore he never would have anything
to do with such people again. They
had insulted me, and him thru me. He
must resent it by dropping them com
pletely.
But suppose Fred Langworth tola
the truth," Bob said calmly as I stop
ped for breath to go on.
lis :fi'lpL itti
3
MANY WITH BUT ONE PURPOSE
INDIVIDUALLY-and collectively the mem
bers of every household can promote the prac
tice of Thrift by spending as little and saving
as jtauch as is consistent with the income.
Separate and joint-bank-account facilities are
available in both Savings and Checking de
partments of the United States National.
May we help YOU to open
an account here?
War Tax Information On Request.
ftitet
m em .
j
J
LP
The title under the cartoon in yesterday's Capital
Journal was somewhat mixed. It represented the kaiser
gazing into a pool in which his countenance is reflected,
and was labeled "Psyche." Mythology tells of Nar
cissus, of whom Pope or some other poet wrote:
"Narcissus, who himself, himself forsook
And died to kiss his shadow in a brook."
According to the story, Narcissus got stuck on himself
and when he saw his image in the pool tried to kiss it and
falling in was drowned. Unfortunately egotism these
days seldom meets so well deserved a fate, but there is
still hopes the kaiser may follow the ancient example.
It sounds like old time fighting to read about the cav
alry taking part in it It also makes it look as though the
war was to be fought out on the surface of the earth in
stead of under it. This is the case largely on the Italian
front as well as on the British.
LADD & BUSH. Bankers
1
NOVEMBER WINDS
November winds are sad and bleak, Novem
ber winds are cold; they make our knees
and shoulders creak, when we are waxing
old. I hate the wind's forbidding tune, I
hate the long cold rain; I wish the year
could be all June, the month that's safe and
sane. When winter's tempests blow I laugh,
and summer hits the spot; November.
though, is half and half it's neither cold
nor hot. A man can't tell six hours ahead
what weather he may meet; perhaps the
sun will paint things red, there may be snow
and sleet. The minster clock is striking
nine, and 1 lie down to doze: the me-nt is
wiiiu, ajm juccpuig s uue, so i kick on tne ciotnes. 1 kick
them off at frightful cost; there comes a north wind bold;
my whiskers gleam with ice and frost, I've caught a beast
ly cold. Asthmatic breaths I now must draw, like other
careiess dooos; tne surgeon comes with knife and saw, to
carve my bronchial tubes. The doctor comes with dope
and pills, and plasters for my chest; the druggist comes,
with leg-long bills, until I cannot rest. I hate the bleak
November day, I hate the rain and sleet; I wish the year
could be all May, the month that's good as wheat.
And He Did
J WATCH ME rOCrr TitlcS OLD
Football over the
I fence!
ffrTWi-i I'-frr-i i m
Aiin wf run.
lit
'0 i
THE BLAST.
Ik DdV (forclette
Government Will Hold
Stenographers Examination
A civil service examination in sten
ography and typewriting will be given
on the evening of Thursday, Dec. 6,
by tho civil service examiner at the
rooms of the Capital business college.
In order to complete the examination
in one evening, tho work will begin at j
7 o'clock.
Those taking the examination jusf
(Great Inventions Series)
The clean little town of Van Smelt,
Holland, on the afternoon of May 3,
1601, was bathed in a restful quiet
broko only by the shrieking of wind
mills, the barking of dogs, and the sound
of Ludveg Meerchaum's Patriatic brass
band at its daily practicing. (See
Mamie Beet's "Holland Sounds").
The members of the Patriotic Brass
Band played with such Terve and pep
that they got stitches in their diaph
ragms, but still Ludveg Meerchaum,
their iudefatigablo leader, was not satisfied.
"Mucks toofer," (it won't do) he
told them. "There is still something
lacking a certain dasli,a certain Bpica
au indefinable something. We will now
play John Philip Von Bump's 'Holland
Hurrah' with more attention to the
bass pumpers and the Andalusion horn.
All ready."
And they played Von Bump's master
piece as it had never been played be
fore, with the result that at the last
note two bass pumper and three Andu
lnsion horn players rolled off their seals
unconscious. But still Meerehaum 's face
wore a perplexed frown.
"Zweibach goonken!" (nothing like
it), he exclaimed.
Just then the drummer blew his nose
so forcefully that the rafters rang with
echoes.
"Oobenkluck"! (at last), cried Lud
veg Meerchaum. And that very after
noon he set his instrument makers to
work, and within a week his band was
enriched by the addition of the world's
first slide trombone.
Many
ride.
a joy ride ends in a grief-
Autcmcbi!e Ordnance
May Have Opposition
ESTABLISHED 1SCS
CAFITAL
TRANSACT A GENERAL BANKING BUf TNELS
SAVINGS Dfef ARTMENT
of (State street on the one block be
tween the Salem Bank of Commerce
building aud the Oregon Electric de
pot. The block on Commercial street
The proposed ordinance for the park- between the t. S. National bank build-
ling of automobiles in th business sec-jing and the Gale dry goods store is
JtioH of the city ix just at present re- i generally parked solid during the af
loeiving considerable atteution from the iternoon. Both of these blocks would
DiiHinetwi men. At the meeting last cv- eomo in the forbidden district during
eninir of the members of thi Commcr- 'business hours should the ordinance
cial chili, C. S. Hamilton sid that snch -pass Nov. 30.
an ordinance would be telling the far-! Today there was some talk of (tct
niers they were not wanted. itiiiii out a petition asking the city
It seems that the business men have ji'it hers not to pass tho ordinance,
plenty of opinions on the subject but j When this uewn w as spread on the
they are rather timid about talking 'street, those fa wiring the ordinanco
out loud for fer some customers might ! proposed getting out s petition of their
bp offended. jown in order that the eouneilmen
Yesterday afternoon at three o'clock mis;ht have somcthinc to read both pro
SSaSMSBB 23 cars were parked on the south sidejaud con at their next session.
$500,000.00
"Suppose you were just what he said i for stenography and typewriting or for
vou were. Would you then nave cause i.i'tviiin.s muiic, u , uci.-,i
for complaint t" Bob interrupted mo to be examined m spelling, penmanship,
-.1, - lletter writing or arithmetic. One may
nv, n,Wrfon,i -Rni,! l,o onll- be rated just for stenography audi
ed me a stick and other horrid things" 111 to typewriting, or both. Those
"Aren't you rather strait-laced, Mar- making the average of ,0 per cent are
garetf I believe that was one of tho, pitied on to Washington and when
Sanies ho called you. And even I havel'P needed, the call for servico
thought you rather uninteresting at!8"19 rom Washington with orders
times when you would talk of nothing wh" to rort- . .
but tho servant or the ills of the child- .m"kln8 a feord u"der 'Q IT
ren. That was what he meant when heVnd !ven f,s lt 88 40, Pfr cen
" i t, will be put on the list as clerks, and
compared you to a piece of wood Poor, 1
Fred! he would ioel dreadfully i he applicant fails in typewrit-
knew you had overheard him. Ht ' ( there j,, chanoe fo'aa
wouldn't hurt the feelings of a child. .' t . aa afnolTrallhr. Th . t
I was frantic. It was unbelievable. ;tho ..,, ni4,1a Bunl,t 1n nno
roman tliat
get a job
Start Tomorrow
and Keep It Up
Every Morning
Get In the habit of drinking
glass of hot water befor
breakfast
I
iras uuDeiievaDie. ,;he govcrnment necds about
making excuses for!rtong anJ tv ists and the wom
insulted me. I won- makeg ft fai-f average nlay ge)
were , like that. 1 at fl0m $75 t0 wo a ,noutil.
It was unbelievable,
My own husband
the man who had so
dered if other men
wished I had told Elsie first before
mentioned it to Bob. Her advice was 8nnuai meeting vesterday at the Court
always to keep anything which belit- h0U3e-
tied you from your husband. But I had- j The resolution was presented by Sam
n't talked to her! and I HAD told Bob,;uel white, the retiring president,
aud he had been simply contemptuous j circuit Judge Tucker was elected
of tho entire affair. Bo finding that my , pregi jent and Albert B. Bidgway and
anger, my complaints, did not movel M- pil)We were re elected secretary
him, I commenced to cry. At first 1 1 aad treasurer, respectively,
sobbed in a low tone, but as he went Thc f0nowig members of the execu
ou reading I cried harder aud harder t; ve comm,ttee were chosen: B . B. Beek-
uutil he threw down his paper with an
unaccustomed oath, aud flung himself
out of the room and out of the house.
I held my breath as I heard the frout
door open and close, then the elevator
stop to take him down.
I rau wildly to the window to call him
back, but he never looked up although
I was sure he heard me call.
(Tomorrow A Night of Waiting)
Oregon Lawyers Agree
To Help the Nation
Portland, Or., Nov. 23. Adoption of
a resolution pledging thc gratuitous ser
vice of every member of its organira
tion to the federal government iu assist
man, Warren E. Thomas, Oscar Havter,
A. Jb Flegel, Charles W. Cochran, H. 8.
cCutchan aud Hugh Montgomery.
Retiring President Speaks.
A vice-president for each of the ju
dicial district of the state was chosen
as follows: F. M. Calkins, John a Coke,
W e re not here long, so let 's make
our stay' agreeable. Let us live well,
eat well, digest well, work well, sleep
well, and look well, what a glorious
condition to attain, and yet, how very
easy it is if one will only adopt the
morning inside bath. '
Folks who are accustomed to feel
dull aud heavy when they arise, split
ting headache, stuffy from a cold, foul
tongue, nasty breath, acid stomach,
can, instead, feel as fresh as a daisy
by opening the sluices of the system
each morning and flushing out the
whole of the internal poisonous stag
nant matter.
Everyone, whether ailing, sick or
well, should, each morning, before
breakfast, drink a glass of real hot
water with a teaspoonful of limestone
pnospnate in it to wash from the
stomach, liver and bowels the previous
day's indigestible waste, sour bile
and poisonous toxins; thus cleansing,
sweetening ana punmng the eutire
canal
T,. n Tw,lK- f:-,r w fiflf utuure i.uiimg more
i, r,.,Vlii r. V p'ui,,. r;.tod lnto the stomach. The actios of
"f " 1 ""!" V"'. hot water and limnstnnn Thnha
W. Wilson, Gustav Anderson,
Biggs, John W. Knowles, David H. Par
ker, Harrv H. Belt, D. V. Kuvkendall,
"hint- vntup aiJ 1 ; ... . 1 1 A -
vicroratinff. It eleans out all the sour
L. F. Com,, T. E. J. Puffer, George R. iM. 'VS" . ".k,
Bagley and James A. Eakin for brPakfMt. whi,e 'ou are enioving
Prior to the election of officers talks vcllr breakfast the water snd phos
were given by L. T. Harris, associate , phate i3 quiev CItracting a lari,voi.
justice of the supreme court, and Char-junie of water -frpm hp l!o0(, nd t.
les H Crey of Tortland.Mr.White also! ting readv for a thorough flushing of
made his address as retiring president. ! all the in;.t nrmni
in which he nruerl thp xttarnpn rf I Tk -.:n; " i - , -
ing exemption boards iu carrying out,0on to time. i wi, -..' " "
, ,v r; Yi none service wmon racy mignt oe eaii- spells, stomach trouble; others who
S Sauce" T "t3 11 of Pd U to do duriiig the war. lood disorZs Ind
lawyers who have answered the call to Guv BoUon who wrote tfc. book f or 'S' taAg,:
colors, as well as the furnishing of , .MUs Springtime" is an architect , and If rom thj d rug store- This will e"t
speakers to aid ,n the promotion of jWorks for tUe theatre more for reerea.;Teri. httle blt is 8ufficient to
any patriotic endeavor, was the out- tion than business. He is also the bus- Wone pronounced crank on the
standing feature of the closing session , bsd of Marguerite MeNamara, Los An-! sub ject of inside bathing before break
ol the Oregon Bar Association at its J geles prima donna. I fast