EM.
i
h
Mr
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i-
DAIL1 CAPITAL JOURNAL, SALEM, ORHWN MONDAY, AUGUST 0, 1007.
Your Hair
Weeds CareH
A little time devoted to the care of the hair
works wonders. Just use Ayer's Hair
Vigor, the new kind, systematically and
conscientiously, and seethe result. Stops
falling hair, cures dandruff, makes the
grow. Ask your doctor about this.
vbliihthafonnnlw J. C. ArerCo,,
our preparation!.
Ziowcll, Hun.
A CELEBRATEEO
WALL STREET WIT
There have boon moro
figures In Wall street than
Trovers, but few brighter mindB and
few who aro moro pleasantly remem
bered. Ho was In tho street twenty
years or more, and In that time bunt
up a largo fortune, besides living llko
& king, entertaining royally, and en
joying tho boat of tho world's pleas
ures. Ho was noither a-Jay Gould in
lntrlguo and masterly campaigning,
a Commodore Vandorbllt In construc
tion or Inrgo markot leadership, a
J. P. Morgan in commanding finan
cial ability, nor a Jacob II. Schlff in
international breadth us n salesman
of securities. Neither did ho possess
in Buperlatlvo degree tho traits that
mado Androw Carnugio, II. II. Rogers
H. 0. Prick, John W. Gates, D. O.
Roid, 0. M. Schwab, Daniel Guggen
heim, groat cnptalns of finance.
Yot ho was in Ills own way a ro
nmrkablo and engaging personality
and a monoymakor. it 1b for hid pe
culiarity of Bpeech and his flashing
wit that ho Is chiefly romomberod
now In Wall strcot, and tho storleB
Hint aro still told about him would
All a volumo.
JAnt Nothing by Stutters.
Ho really didn't need that stutter
gigantic ( don't rom-m-memb-ber s-s-Beeing any ' tcok nlB Baiueg wlth unfailing goo
W. R. .of tho c-c-u-3-tom-mer'B yachts. Wh-. ,..,,.. ninws wn nn tminntHnm
EWif
t
y&
V,rf
I f . - -l AL
r
.MISS MAY SUTTON.
wh;erc aro thoy?"
Bombarding Jay Gould.
Onco upon a tlmo Jay Gould's
credit wiib savagely attacked, and in
self-protection ho opened his vaults
to tho inspection of a committee of
bankers and lot them make nn np
prnlscmont of tho contents. Tho
cornmitteo reported it had found
"freo" bonds, and stocks having
markot vnluo of about seventy mil
lion dollars at ruling quotations.
Thinking to make an overwhelming
hit by this demonstration of strength,
Gould Bent pcoplo out to givo tho
glad news swiftest circulation In tho
right quartors.
"Good g-graciouBl" exclaimed
Travers whon the thriller reached
him. "H-h-aB tho old s-s-B-coundrol
got that m-m-any stocks 1-left to s-s-oll."
And, as tho story runs, ho proceed
ed to pound tho Goulds hardor thnn
over, on tho theory that tho "Wizard"
would bo trying to get rid of some of
that sovonty million dollars' worth
on compotillvo soiling. Tho rosult
proved tho correctness of tho sur
mise, for prices went all to pieces.
Addison Cammnck divides with
Travors tho credit of having porpo
trat'ud this bon mot, but tho honor
scorns to belong rightfully to the
stuttering humorist.
Tho Trnvors wit was .not confined
to Wall street. On ono occnslon ho
attended a banquet which wns pre
sided over by A. T. Stewart, thou tho
lending dry goods morchant of Amer
ica. Travors had no uso for Stewart,
and lost no opportunity to cast ridi
cule on him. Stewart waB a porpot
ual target for Hharp'tongucs. At this
banquet tho merchant prlnco was
especially Irritating to tho blue
bloods.
Flnnlly, when everything was In
roadlneua, tho presiding ollkor rapped
for order. Thoro was not a quick
length tho qualities their candidate
should possess, turned to him with
tho query, "Do you know any such
man, Travers."
"I d-d-do. I have in m-my m-m-mind
j-Just the m-man you w-w-wnnt."
Tho assembled reformers hailed
him as a savior and with one voice
begged him to name tho man.
"I d-don't think H-ho w-w-would
be nv-v-vallable, g-g-gentlemen; unf-f-fortun-n-nntely,
H-he was c-c-cru-ciflod
eight-t-teen h-hundred years
ago." .
Henry Clows nnd Travors were
close friends, but tho wit took great
delight in Joking tho financier, who
1
humor. Clews was an Industrious
kttor writer and "Interviewer" on
nil public questions. He never,, let a
chance go by for engaging in current
discussion. On one occasion he had
written a magazine nrtlclc on nation
al finnnces which ho felt proud over.
Meeting Trnvors, he accosted him
with:
"Say, Travers, havo you seen my
laBt articlo on tho currency ques
tion?" "I d-d-don't kn-n-now, Henry, b-b-but
I ho-ho-hopo so."
Another tlmo he hailed Clows as
tho latter was entering a crowded
club room, and with simulated
bolstcrousncss introduced him as
one of our most Illustrious self-
mndo men." The financier took off
his hat and. bowed low, exposing as
ho did so n pato as destitute of linlr
ai a billiard ball, nn exhibit which
led Travers to sey:
"Honry, wh-h-lle you w-wore
wero m-m-mnklng yoursolf, w-wh-y
d-d-dln't you p-p-put B-s-somo h-halr
on tt-top of your h-h-hend?"
Travers and Jerome.
Travors and tho lato Lawrence R.
Jeromo known always as "Larry,"
woro Inseparable friends, though
forovor victimizing ono another with
practical jokes. Onco the two wero
traveling togothor on a trip In the
south. Just bofor.o tho conductor
wns expected to como through tho
enr, Travors fell asleep.
Jeromo Blyly romoved from Trnv
ors' pocket tho pass on which bo wns
traveling, nnd going forward several
scats, sat down nnd simulated slum
ber. Whon tho conductor shook him
nnd asked for his ticket, Jeromo pre
tended to search through all his
pockets. Then, knowing exnetly what
Travors would say under tho circum
stances, nnd imitating his friend's
stuttering speech, ho snld:
"I'm W-w-wlHIam R. T-t-trovers
Women as Well as Men Arc Made
Miserable by 'Kidney and
Bladder Trouble.
Kidney trouble preys upon the mind,
discourngesnudlesscnsambitionj beauty,
vigor uhu cuccii ui
uess soon disappear
when the kidneys are
out of order or dis
eased. Kidne-trouble has
become so prevalent
that it 19 not uncom
mon for a child to be
bom afflicted with
Aveak kidneys. If the
i.iilliirinntestoooftcn.ifthe urine scalds
the flesh, or if, when the child reaches nn
skc when it should be able to control tho
passage, it is yet afflicted with bed-wetting,
depend upon it, the cause of the diflw
culty is kidney trouble, and the first
step should be towards the treatment of
these important organs. This unnleasant
trouble Is due to a diseased condition of
the kidneys and bladder and not to n
habit as most people suppose.
Women ns well as men are made miser
able with kiducy and bladder trouble,
and both need the same great remedy.
The mild and the immediate effect of
Awnmn-Root la soon realized. It is sold
by druggists, In fifty
cent and one-dollar
size bottles. You muy
have a sample bottle
by mail free, also a nom of Swamp-Hoot
pamphlet telling all about Swamp-Root,
including many of the thousands of testi
monial letters received from sufferers
cured. In writing Dr. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, N. Y., be sure and mention
this paper. Don't make any mistake,
but remember the name, Swamp-Root,
Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and the ad
dress, Liughamtou, N. Y., on every
bottle.
UMMV
No Such Luck.
The Into Bishop Fitzgerald onco
declared that smypathy, far more
than oloquonco or learning, made
moro for success in the ministry.
"Too mnny of us, through lack of
sympathy," ho said," say tho worsx,
tho most Imnpproprlntc things. Thus,
n young Bnptist friend of mine, con
doling with a housebreaker In Jail,
drened:
" 'Ah, my friend, let us romombor
thnt wo aro hero today and gono tomorrow.'
" 'You may bo; I nln't,' tho houBe
brenkor answorcd shortly." Wash
ington Star.
Hardwood Floors;
IN CANS
-.
tii
Parlor.-
Spread them on your old floors with a good brush and
an uyiu-uunj ictoHuu .v., uiuiub-iuuiu, iiuu or
ural wood finish, tough, elastic and durable.
VARNO-LAC
Exactly Imitate all fino woods, no matter how old t, .... A
bo Btained. The only article mado that requires no skill t
.., ., .vvucuiuerine to 2Li
lo by Acme White Lead & Color Wnv. ?i
-j, m,
duco good results.
for Varno-Lack. Mado
troit, Michigan.
GEO. B. JACOB
FRONT AND PINE STREETS, NORTH SALEM. PHONE 401
USB
H
For Boston Brown
AliLE
SELF RISING
B. B. B,
Flour
tvn Bread, Grlddlo Cakes, Muffins nnd Plum Podfe,
N'S B. B. B. FLOUR CO., INC., SAN Jose, CalL
omab
WS W W 4UVIU ?W iwv ( "(IIIVI i - - - -
response and with Bomo Impntlonco of Now Yor. I had n p-p-pnss; b-b-
Stowart repeated tho gavel perform
ance, giving tho tnblo a succession of
hard raps. Then, ns tho aBsomblngo
quieted down and just as tho man at
tho hoad of tho tnblo was about to
oall for ordor, Travors, In a thin,
high koyod voice, piped out, "C
ouhIiI" "Jim" Flsk at tho height of his
enreor bought himself a BplondM
but I c-c-enn't And It. I'm n b-b-
brothor-ln-lnw of Mr. Blank, tho
president of tho road, nnd I nssuro
you It's nil right."
Tho conductor nccopted tho expla
nation and passed on. A moment
later ho shook tho sleeping Travers
by tho Bhouldor. Travers felt for
hls.paBs and thon, liko his impostor
frlond, searched through all his
yacht and gnvo a bwoII dinner nbonrd ,1'ockcts, tho conductor regnrdlng him
to which ho Invited W. R. Travorj. I with suddon suspicion. Flnnlly ho
At that tlmo Flsk nnd Jny Gould Bimtorou eut:
woro fiiHt frlonds. "l'm W-w-wllllnm R. T-t-trnvor3
Au Flk wob conducting Travors of Now Yor. I had a p-p-poss; b-b-
nnd a detachment of guests through
-. i. , I I IIUU IIUWIUIIIIIUIIl Ul KUUBIH uiruuKi
California tenm plnyor, who ro- tho boftt ho boforo ft fr0fjh
ccntl won tho nil Juiglaml ohnm-,iy painted portrait of himself and
pionship for liulius for tho second Gould which stood out from the wnll
tinio.
tn carry hU wlttUlcms, but thoy lost
nothing by tholr hyphenated medium
of transmission. Tho Htuttor wis
Trnvora' own, and It has probubly
nerved us n historical prsorvatlvo for lnd rnphsodlztid to tho
somo of tho Travers scintillations. It 1',Rk "Yo a-s-h-ould h-h-ae t
Js tho lot of few num to bo romom- 0, tho artist t-t-o p-p-palnt you nnd
berod In Wall street twenty years JJny tho arm of a o-o-cross, with
after death, and W. R. Travers wont the S-S-avlor in tho m-m-mlddlo."
to hU last rodtliiK Place JiiHt two do-1 A .loko on the Joker.
it I
but I c-o-can't find It. I'm a b-b-brothor-In-lnw
of Mr. Blank, tho
president of tho road, and I assure
you It's all right."
at tho top of tho main stairway, nnd 8"8s "t. replied the conduc
exolalmednlrly: tor- "Yon cnu't fol '?, ovon with
"Well, boys, what do you think of that stutter. You'll havo to pay your
that pair of mnsterplocos?" jfn or o lt off."
"l'vo only ono or-cr-ltlolsm t-t-o Jeromo permitted Trnvors to work
mako," snld Travers, after everybody (himsolf Into a rago of Indlgnntlon,
satisfaction ,nn, l,,,J" inierposoa wiui ine pnss
No Difference.
No distinction Is mado ns to tho
kind of Piles that Dr. Lconhardt's
Hcm-Rold cures.
Tho names Internal, External,
Blooding, Blind, Itching, Suppurat
ing, etc., aro simply names 'of tho dif
ferent stnges through which every
enso will pass If It continues long
onough.
Piles nro caused by congestion or
stagnation of blood in tho lower bow
el, and It takes an Intornal remedy
to romovo tho cause
Dr. Lconhardt's Hom-Rold Is a tab
let taken Internally. It 1b a perma
nent euro. Money back If It falls.
Prlco $1.00 nt druggists. Dr. Leon
hardt Co., Nlngara Falls, N. Y Pro
prietors. Sold by Dr. S. C. Stone,
Salem.
o
Sure of n Sale.
Sllns Storekeeper Jason must
havo loBt his mlnd.'Cy. Why, by
gum, he Is taking down all tlu
"Fresh Vegetable" signs and putting
up "Stnlo Vegetables."
Cyrus Oh, that's Just a trick of
trado, neighbor. Ono of thoso min
strel shows en mo today and soon as
they find there nro any stnlo vege
tables In town thoy will buy them
all up to keep from getting pelted
with them. Chicago News.
jZwTfJsir" r"lJ civwiMMT
Y7rn
ESKL&H
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN
Put these good resolutions that
you mado on January lot into effect
nt onco by roplaclng your old plumb
ing with tho nowest ldoao In sanitary
open plumbing, and you will bo rid
of tho nnnoyanco of leaking plpos
and flooded floors, as woll as doctor's
bills. Wo will furnish estimates for
plumbing, gas fitting nnd satisfaction
Is guaranteed ns to workmanship and
charges.
A. L. FRASER
808 State Street.
Phono 180.
cml' ttgn. In the stock mnrkut
Trnvora was chronically n bunr,
though lu had tho hoiib to take and
keep profits, n trait ran with tho
bear, or for that matter with tho
bull.
and a cigar for tho conductor.
Tho Siamese Twins.
Travors In company with boiuo
friends went to goo tho Siamese
twins. Ho examined attentively the
singular ligature that connected tho
Cnn you nfford to rjflo with so Borl
ous a matter as to neglect a bad cold
or cough, whon for n trifling amount
you can securo a bottle of "Hick
ory Bark Cough Remedy," thnt Is
guaranteed to euro or money refund
ed. Prlco 25c, 50c and $1.00 per
bottlo. For snlo by all dealers everywhere.
TO SATISFY PEOPLE
TO RETAIN TIIEIIt CONTl
PATRONAGE. THAT'S WE
ARE AFTER. WITH THIS X.
INCENTIVE, WE MANTFAtl
ONLY HIGH GRADE HAKIM
HER, OUR EPPLErS IH
TION WHICH WE PUT IT It
ERLASTING GLASS JAW. I
BY ALL GROCERS. XU1
TURED BY O. 31. EI'PIiCT.SU
BUILDING A nOUSB
Wo can supply you with tho lum
ber you nefcd at tho price that will
materially economize In tho cot
Just como and sea us and look over
our yards.
GOODALE LUMBER CO.,
Yard Ner Depot.
LOOKING FOR SOMLIIfflM
to mako tho breakfast a dtl!M
woll as a fortifier for the J7?
Capital Bakery's fr-sh UW
will holp out amazingly. IlH
tor of pride with us to turnosts
broad, nlos. cakeo and all kk
pastry to mako the houwtoNj
thy and happy. Trial oritntm
CAPITAL BAKERV,
C. ULLOM, Pref.
Phono No. M.
Stopping ono day In the store of a
bird nnd dog fancier. Travors made a ; twins, nnd turning to tho
number of Inquiries of the proprie
tor, whp was a crotchety chap with
t tongue us sharp as his customer's,
and, pausing boforo the onge of a
A few years after hU appearance In ,urBu parrot, Travers looked admlr
Wnll street nn old friend from hU ,nKb' at the bird nnd remarked on
native elty, Baltimore, met him In It" ""O points.
n down town resort. They chatted a "That's a Bp-p-plendld p-p-P-par-fow
minutes, whon tho friend Bud-)1- O-o-onn h t-t-talk?"
itanly said: . "If he couldn't talk any better than
"8ay, Travers. yuu stutter a greet you' ,M cut nU l,,n8tod head oft!"
deal worse than you did In Haiti- '"ped the storokoopor.
juoro." I Trovers sometimes took n lively
"Got to." replied Trovers. "It's ,"twr"t In polities. QUc.e he got tied
n h-h-ean b-b-bluKor Mown " ! In the Initial stagos of a reform
While still almost a strangor In moVttt. and at a mooting of a self-1 with tho Interruptien: "Of c-c-courso,
Now York. a. member of tho stork .. "lUioinievi comnmioo ropresenim
cktuigo, wishing to do the agreeable, ,xao etior otoments" tho question of ine oys-oys-oystor kno-no-now. when
Lost Appetite.
Bonrdinor-hriiisrt K'nonar Vm. n...
lecturer , bring mo just one-half tho usual
amount of moat until further no-tlco.
Dutch or Indeed l
your boarders left?
Boarding-house Keeper No;
Have any of
iolomnly snld, "B-b-b-br-br-oihers, I
p-p-proBumo?"
The story of how Travers suppress
ed an oracular Individual who was
boring everybody with a long-winded i
mZ7Ztt?ztt
vnuiumij uiki iiiiiuuaai; , mill lltKlll
but
started upon a dlsousel&n as to the
Intelligence of tho bivalve, aylng
that It was a disputed point among
scientists whethor the oyster had
brains.
At this Juncture Travors cewo to
tho relief of the wearlod company
Eczema.
For tho good of thoso suffering
wlth'oozoma or othor such trouble, I
wish to sny, my vlfo had something
of that kind nnd nftor Ufclng tho doc
tors remedies for some tlmo Knn.
took Trovers to aoo a
yacht race, i" oANdldnto for mayor came tip for
The host had a flue boat, knew every- , "Hussion. o"is nua running
Ivody, and took pleasure In pointing ,,UftUtl08 ' 8uvorttl wore debated
out tho celebrities. After an hour for n ,onB tln,e- but non nl Jt
or two the guest turned to his frlond to flU tho b,u- Thy woro ooklng
Kd said: 'or aQ ,Joh1 imiu ' ,ofy character,
"8-e-eems to m-WMj that m-ra-ost Wffcd purity, public spirited,
everybody on C-O-bnnge bas a advanced, views on tho live Issues, nu
miiuiuuiroiiYO genius, auu command-
ycbt,"
"Yes, Jot's of 'otnowh their own
KMts, Some of 'em are mighty fine,
too regular floating palaces."
"TJie b-broker end b-b-baakoro
lug the respect of tho community.
Travers said little, and listened to
the talk with growing Impatience,
Finally an especially long winded
eluded to try Chamberlain's Salve,
and It nrnvftd tn ha iiHn ),. ....
the oys-oys-oystor has b-b-bralns. (thing she had tried. For sale at Dr.
..v w,.-v,.-v;.ii nuu-uu-uuwc wneu stone's drug store.
id su-sn-snui up.
art t-txe4 all r-r-rfcat; b-b-but I dnl. B " . " wUlng at J
For nu Impaired Apatite.
To tmprovo the appetite and
strengthen tho digestion try a few
doses of Chainborhln's Stomach and
Liver Tablets. Mr. J. II. Soltt of De
troit, Mich., says- "They restored my
appetite when In: pa I red, relieved ruo
of a bloating feeling and caused a
pleasant and ratlsfactory movemenl
of tho bowels." Prlco 25 cents. Sam
plea free.
drug store.
Answered.
The would-suffragostt was hav
ing tho usual dlnuer-table argument
with her alleged lord and master,
when that unhappy Individual, find
ing himself In a close corner, ven
tured tho unfortunately query:
"How on earth would you earn a
living If It wasn't for me?"
"I don't know, John." tho ladv re
plied, -jc i lost you. I don't vno,-
wMjJ
n:i JT-
For w ., D, S,oM.,K w 'i'S
-L
'per'a Weekly,
'THlO
THE BEST ROAST THE
PASniiY EVER ILVD
Can bo obtalnod from our prime
tender and Juicy beef, mutton or
pork. All our meats aro selected
from the choicest, and prepared for
the tablo to suit the demands of the
fastidious. Our prices are lower for
quality than you can find at any
placo In Salem,
E. COR OSS,
Phone 291. 370 State St,
HOLUSTE'
Rocky Meuntain Tea Nuoflftts
A Buj MedJeha Ut Buy Peapli.
Eria ji Oollia Health aaj Biawed Vbjr
.n1! lP""lflc JKf. Constipation, In.'.lwttUoBltiTfct
let rona, Ji cnt box. OrnuinL bi
Uotu D3TO Cor, r"d?wi
MIBEN NUMETS F08 SALLftW PMP
Send the Family
Washing To!
and you'll never bother wit '
It Anna of hnmfl Addll. TW1
when every family could t1
to send the washing to
but times have chaog-
haira ha Tnofhndu nnd DflCtl n
you can better afford to t!
family washing here ti
Ask about our prices on f0
log, rough dry, or flnlibei
The Salem
Steam lauM
Phono 25. 130-100 m
SuDerior Restai
1C3 nigh Street, Vt
First-class In all appoicwj
place for ladlos ana B"-,
all kinds of Chinese dW"
famous LI Hung Chun
nnrt VnVnma.
R. H. Bam
Successor to Whey SeaSJ
Salem Fence W
Headqaartem for W
Feactag-
Nettlag, Pickets, QZ
aad AdjusUble WI
All at low
Walter
250 Court St. S11'
CM1
"W
-ai .---.-. -.