STROLOGY Do you know under what star you Bore born? Perhaps you don't caro a snUnontal, but If you think you jn't, right there you might begin to fet busy with tho Idea that a Great aony people whom you would least nspcct of caring, arc not only con erned In astrology, as it bears upon jclr own past, present and future, at that right hero in Chicago they ro mixing astrological guesses with satorial fact in tho conduct of their kofessional business. Hero Is a sue- sstlvo story In Its practical applica- ten: A mother of two children in Chlca- m had becamo enamored of tho doc- job of Mmo. Tlngiey, and was at- ictcd to her colony at Port Loma. allfornlo. Tho father of tho children as an Unbellover In tho TInclov chool, and ono day ho returned home on empty houso to find that the (other with tho two children had gone Mb Point Loma to deliver to Mmo "ingley tho two children upon which fcer school of training might bo Brought to Influ nco. io father's first thought was as to Itho possibility of bringing tho law to sear upon tho return of his children. i consulted an attorney, who at onco riaw tho loonholcs throuch which nn 1,0ml, . , , , . forainary uaucaa carpus migni oe KSorvod. The two men departed for California within 24 hours. 3ut in the courts thero it was dls- overcd that certain proceodurcs un- lor tho rulos of tho court body made Jhoxpected entanglpmonts that prom. fed delays. Tho attornoy especially Boemcd doubtful and uneasy.. At an repportuno moment ho turned ono day Upon his cllont and asked, with cloud- faco and brew: "Let mo see what Is tho date of lour wlfo's birth?" Tho client, wondorlngly, replied that Eho was born Octobor 2, 1870. At the fords tho lawyer threw both his hands. into tho air with an exclamation. "Wo cau't do a thing! Wo can't do 17 thing! Your wife is a double Capri Icorn!" Ills client, doubting tho sanity of Itho man for a moment, insisted upon an explanation of tho meaning of tho term "double Capricorn." ' "It moans that she id a winner," ro- piled tho lawyor In tones of cortalnty Uhat admitted no question ou his part jThoro's no uso of proceeding in this fihattor sho'il beat us at every turn!" End with tills the, discouraged lawyer Returned to Chicago. .But tho father wasn't so euro, hav- Dng a doubting knowledgo of Capricorn fen In Us geographical sense. Ho employed a new adviser in tho mattor, tlth a result that a way was found to bring tho writ at onco boforo tho su premo court of California, whero the custody of tho children was given to tho fathor, almost without a question on tho part of tho court. 'mo father and tho children are in Chicago today, as Is tho attorney who stropped his Dlackstone and all his lo- Rial training at tho feet of a "doublo KJaprlcorn " which didn't seem to work fter all. Chicago has boon roferred to as ono of tho cities of tho counhy which suf fora widely from a lack of apprecia tion of tho logical reasoning- It has pbeen spoken of 'as tho stamping ground Wort tho cheat and thofaker of all ipes, Among these fakers nono has Mwidrr swing than has the astrologer. "is tho opinion of one of tho leading eurologtsts of tho city that tho bo- sf In astrology permoatos all classes society to an extant that few un- Bllovers might be led to suspect. iien tho belief goes no further than mero probability In tho llfo of one arson who pays tho fakor for the hor- copo, It Is sometlmos atToctlug the idlvldual for tho most part; when It comes a matter to bo brought Into c professions, and to he a part of the fesslonal advice for which the un ispecung unbeliever has to pay, It Is naming a community question fcThere are few profewlonal men i. tii .i,.n... th arartlon that leir profusions began la asirekigy: E r ..- .. . iore are many who will aasert inai ing ago, these profeaelenc would ive separated from the parent m arstUion They have outgrows Moth- Shlpton and her prophecies, as titty ive outgrown tne lavome phkw the astrologer In ail Owe that the ad of the world was in eight fcThat medlrlne had IU birth la ae alogy Is a fact carried to thU day on So faco of the preecrlpiloa whleh you Ike from your physician W the drug are for filling. The BMhUy altared Ix" of the prescription rhrk m wij I slight departure from tha io4iacal en of Jupiter. IThat astrology has affected almost rorythlng In the language may be iggested by a study of Its poeslblHUea literature and the art The paa- gods of the Grek bear a tee- to the effect upon art There aony AND BUSINESS are Apollo, Mars, Mercury, Venus and Jupiter. Each of these are interpreted Into types of men stood for living man types. To this day wo sneak of the "Jovial" man, tho "martial" man, and or tno "saturnine" typo. Men whom wo know havo a "mercurial" disposi tion; tho prettiest girl we know is a "Venus." Huyghons has been quoted In tho contention that thero "arc on earth men of cold tomporamont whe would thrivo in Saturn, which is' the farthest planet from tho sun, and thero are other spirits warm and ar dent enough to Hvo in Veuns. On tho farms and In tho backwoods of tho Central West, however, the re mains of astrology aro considered in great seriousness in some of thelt bearings. In many of tho duties of the unlottered farmer In his occupation or tiller of tho ground and as breeder of Uvo stock, ho looks to tho signs of the zodiac as pointing to tho success ojf his endeavors. With him "tho sign" means everything, and from this sign of tho zodiac ho passes to tho phases of tho moon as conditioning tho plant ing of seeds and tho harvesting of crops and tho killing of his winter's meats. But tho beliefs of tho unlettered farmer In this ospect do not com paro with tho beliefs of tho citizen who may bo surrounded by tho mys ticism of which so much capital Is made by tho fakor, and in touch with so many of tho complications of civil ization. Thoro is scarcely a crlmo In tho calendar of tho Ignorant that may not nt tsome time involve tho counsel of the astrologer and seer. The crlmo Indeed may be traced to tho astrolo ger, who In his generalizing wny, may have Dferrod to tho problblllty that "you havo a secret enomy" a sug gestion to tho Ignorant that In more cases than ono has caused him to fix his suspicion and to attempt murdor as his recourse. Criminals proverbial ly arc suporstitious, and tho knowl edgo possossed by astrologor and clairvoyants and card readors, with roforonco to material crimes In all of Uio gr.'at cities could bo used by the police department In tracing criminals with far more certainty than the mys tical knowledgo of thoso falcors can bo used by tho escaping criminals 'them selves. Thanksgiving in Washington Washington, Nov. 25. Tho raachln oryo f govornmont In the notional capital will como to a standstill to morrow, tho Panama affair, tho Cuban treaty and other momentous ques tions will ba forgotton for the time being and ovoryono from tho Presi dent down will unite In tho observ ance of Umt most characteristic of all American holidays Thanksgiving Day. Tho day Is usually a quiet one In Washington, socially as well as of ficially, but congress being In seeolon this year things may b different. Thf. turkey dinners, at least will bo more numorous than in previous years President Koosovelt believes In eel ebratlng tho holiday in tho good, old fashioned way and consequently it Is sure to be a Jolly Thanksgiving in tho White House. The Roosevelt child ren are home from school, and they are bound to have a romp, In which their father and roothor will Join. No buslnoss whatever will be done at tho executive mansion during tho day The clerks will not report for duty and all official engagements will be postponed until the following day. In tho morning tho President and his family will go to churoh and in the af ternoon they will receive some visit ore in a social way. Dinner will be 'at 7 p.m.. ad several friends will be Invited to share It. The President's steward give him self bo concern regarding a Thanks- I . . . M .. .. Al.,.. giving imr) iur m. ...,- -. For more than 15 years Moraee voe. of Westerly, u. i- oas nu ue pnv. t..! ,1.A Iluuliluil'a fur. lege of supplying the President's tur key. This la In purswmee of a ette tOM which wae eatabUahad by ieaa tar AaihotLV when Preetdeat (Iraat wae th ealef eiaouUve Aa ton as the Seaalor lived he bought tur keye for Um Presides, and whea he died. Mr, Voaa kept MB the custom. aad each yc seat the beat bird he could find la hie home county. Ttw eirtoaaal fowl which will satiety the apaetitas ef Ut ItnoeovoK txHtaahoW toworrow aad AH the White House kitchen wth Jt fragrant aroma welahs la th Belghherheod of 34 Bouade. H was hatched last spring aad as tenderly raised as a young oolt destined for the race track. The meau far the Thankseirlng din ner a always a simple one. Mr. Voee'a tarkey la the pleoe de reIs- Uace. aad the ether dishes served .TltB PAlVdUWMAs, aALEM. OWTOOM. WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3$, aro typically American. Tho dinner lnvarlibly bogins with Chesapeake, oysters. Flaky rock fish from tho Po tomac, terrapin from tho Eastern shore and cranberries from Capo Cod are Included in tho menu. All tho membors oMho cabinet will cat tholr Thanksgiving dinners at their Washington homes. Secretary and Mrs. Hay will have a family par ty at tholr board. Secretary and Mrs. Shaw will dine at homo In Massachu setts avenue, and will sharo tho holt day feast with their children. Tho nttornoy genoral is fond of his own flresldo and profers a Blmplo home dinner to any of tho feasts In which ho might participate. Tho secretary of agrlculturo has llttlo to buy for his Thanksgiving dinner as turkeys and other gifts come to him from all over tho country. Tho secretary of tho Interior, Mr. Hitchcock, and his family will dlno in their homo in K stroot. Tho secretary of tho navy, though tho recipient of many invlta lions, will probably follow his usual custom and dlno with his bachelor cronies in the Worden houso. Impretalveness the Object A group of well-known Southerners was standing In tho lobby of tho Now Wlllard talking of Democratic pros pects and swapping stories of llfo in Dixlo In tho party woro tho Hon. John S. Williams, tho minority leader In tho houso; Attornoy E. U Russell, of Mobllo; Representative Dowore, of Mississippi, and Representative Un derwood, of Alabama. "I was traveling In a private con veyanco through Hlbb county, In my district, ono of tho hottest days of tho past sumraor," said Mr. Unilor wood "and whou I got to tho llttlo town of Brlarvlllc was so full of duBt that I looked rather on tho order of a tramp. Somo of tho principal men of tho place camo up to greet me, and, whllo wo woro talking, a gentleman whom I had novor met drovo up-In a carrlago and Immediately an introduc tion was affected betweon us. Ho was so full of business that I don't think ho caught my name, and I didn't !ook vory Impresslvo in my dust-covore'd clothes. "Pulling out a roll of papor ho pre sented It to mo, saying: 'Friend, won't you please sign this; it's a pe tition to havo Miss Dlank made post mistress at Urlarvlllo. She Is a nice young woman and ought to havo It in preference to a man that's trying to get if "I looked nt tho petition, which was Inclosod In a big envelope, addressed to 'Hon. Oscar Underwood, Washing- ton, D. C 'My frlond,' I replied, 'I'd SOME LIKE IT HOT SOME LIKE IT COLD When Mrs. Green decided to tako a young girl to help her with tho work she did so aftor grave deliberation. Maids bad como and maids had gono In tho Qreon household till Or eon de clared that that his. pneurao gastric norve was becoming petrified from eat ing so many kinds of cooking. Susan, the last cook, had been a tyrant When the Greens wlshod a roast for dinner, Susan served a stew, and If Gruen re quested French fried potatoes with It1'0 oold Joint ho was served with po- tatoos boiled In their Jaekots. Finally Mrs. Green's r bolllous spirit awoke, and she discharged Susan and adver tised for a young girl "who wanted a good home." The first applicant was 17, sho said. She chewed gum and wore a rat In her pompadour. Mrs. Oreen hired her, however, In spite of these drawbacks The new girl watched Mrs. Oroen do the work, and made occasional futllo attompts to Imltato her. Sho read the Duchess' novels In the - evening and played "Hiawatha" on the piano when Mrs. Green was not at homo. Fl nally she took to weeping, going noutnot a" cont as Norah. He know with red eyes and doleful lips. ,the lwWlng was designed to lost all What is the matter. JeBle?" de- winter, but he quietly ate on. manded Mm Graeit one day when she I Thf explosion eame the night before found her dropping tears Into the dish Mrs. Green's luncheon. She had made water. "I'm so lonesome." sniveled . Vaear ftidgw ami macaroons enough Jeanl. "ThU la the NUtet howee I fur eight tadleu. but when she went to war saw. The wet ntaeu I warned we had maala every evening The gentleman of the Ihhw ha sung und his wife played the uhmUi organ, and we had real pleasant avealnna. But It's a toawaata hard." Mr. Oram eofiaHKad with her hua- band aad ha advlaed bar to mi rid af Jeaaie. If It's owning to thd point where I have to turn wyaatf Into a vaudeville show to annua tha maid In tho uvun lags. I think wad bottw hfaak up aad board." growted Gee, So Jeaale departed. The Mtxt was a girl of It, and Just over from Ireland. Shu whs pruity a a picture, with the native blue uyas and Uac,k balr, and as innocent as n lamb. Ih had never seen a furaasc mot a gas stova, and ska bad strange aaaee far thlaga that kept Mrs. QrceH guessing. Hko -to obllgo you, but you seo I Hvo in Birmingham, out of this locality, henco It would not bo proper for mo to tako a hand in this contest' " 'Oh, that's all right, ho answered, Just sign anyway; wo'ro getting lots of names of peoplo who don't Hvo hero, and havo put In a lot of floaters to make a big petition. It doesn't make a partlclo of dlfforenco, for when the paper gets to that fool congressman up .yonder; ho won't know a d 1 thing about It "Washington Corre spondent Jacksonville (Flo.) Times-Union. ' Modern Girl's Big Foot "Athletic excrclso Is undoubtedly adding cubits to tho staturo of the modorn girl, but," remarked a shoo merchant "It Is llkowiso increasing tho length of her foot. Increasing, indeed, into such wonderful propor tions that tho perfect mlno of small Jokes wo used to'hoar about tho pedal oxtremotlcs of Britain's daughters is entirely exploded. "Having paid thoso young ladles tho compliment of imitating their train Ing, tho humorist now finds that his countrywomen's feet havo developed tho proportions ho onco found so lu dicrous. "Tho tlmo when to possess tiny feet was a thing to bo doslred, Is past, tho athlotlc girl having changed all that Tho proper and beautiful thing nowadays Is to bo of classical dimensions. As It Is shapo, not size, that makes or mars tho beauty of a foot, the sonslblo woman halls this evolution with delight, proving that tho chango is owing to the wholesome outdoor llfo of the really modorn girl. "And I may add that nover has footwear been prottler than now. It Is really amusing to hear tho athletic girl order tho size of hor foot Wo soil Nos. C and G now, when only n fow years ago we rarely had a call for a shoo ovor No. 3. that bolng con sidered a largo choe." Wsahlmtton Post Hot Mackerel as a Weapon. "Sho slapped mo In tho faco with n hot mackerel, Judgo." Well, Bho said I was no lady, and I was going to show hor. Sho broko a kotchup bottlo on my head." Hattlo nilmoro, 122 Superior street, and Ella Snow, Orleans and Krlo streets, engaged In similar repartee for half an hour at Justtco Mayer's Chicago avenuo pollco court yester day morning. Mrs.ailmoro alleged that Mrs. Snow had called on hor, and a fight fol lowed. The caso was dismissed. Intor Ocean. But probably the most remarkable thing that Norah saw was when Mrs. Green intido tho annual plum pudding Bho sampled the dates, citrons and rns!ns approvingly, but whou sho saw them mixed with molansiM, milk eggs and suet, to say nothing of tho othor Ingredients, sho Bhook her head, and remarked that they had nothing llko that In Klldare. Mm Green mndo an oxtra large quantity of pudding. 8he wanted It to last all winter, and sho exported to serve It whenever she had guests for dinner. Green declared It was the best she'd over made; so Mrs. Green decided to send some to her slstor for Thanksgiving Meanwhile Nora, with the zest that IS years gives to sweet things, had become Inordinately fond of plum pud lag. She was steadjly eating It when ever sho felt hungry, whleh was most of the tlmo. Jimmy Green, aged 13. followed In hor footsteps. He would got a largo, heavy brown sllee from the pantry every afternoon when he camo homo from sshool, Jimmy was .o at utem wkh were wranRwy ue- plated. With l h king heart and awakened etiaplelons Mr Green In spected tha placu where the plum pudding had been kept There was scarcwiy a mouthful left And she had writtan to her slater to expect pudding far Thanksgiving (Hanur. iWie accused Nora, who coufiased Ingaau uuely. and ateo Implicated Jimmy. Mrs. Orune wept out her dlaap aoiatmaat 10 Qreon In the library. "Why It hasn't killed them I don't know." alio ended. "Just fancy eat tag plum pudding at that stage, net steamed, and without sauce. Why.' it's heavy as lead." "You ean't kill anyone through the stomach at their age," said thu dys peptic Oruon, enviously. "You'd better get a full-grown servant, my dear; it will be 1(mhi wearing en everything including previsions." Chicago News jf808 anr-i yllpmtiSMHKHw WEBFOOT 8HtH9rf'Piq'f-tt9'tf ltf ,1 Webfoot Land. Tuno, Bculah Land. I've reached tho land of mud and rnln. I'vo struggled long' this land to gain. And now that I have' reached tho spot, I often wish that I had not Chorus. Oh, Webfoot land, wet Webfoot land, As in my houso I sadly stand And gaxo without thro' dripping rain, And long to seo tho sun again. I surely wish that I could fly To lauds whoro it Is sometimes dry. It rains at morn, it rains at ovo, It ralna at noon, there's no roprlove; Day after da It's Just tho samo, I wonder why I ovor came. It does no good to kick or swear, To throw your boots or tear your hair. You cannot chango that sky of gray To sky of bluo a slnglo day. You wish to go and soo a friend, It always rains, on that depend, And If you wish to go to town You need to wear a rubber gown. Sometimes tho mud Is rather' wet And so you think a cab you'll got; And when you've rodo a mile or two You wish you'd walked, Indeed you do. And If you slop nn hour or two, And old King Sol tho elouds bents thro' Tho peoplo say, "Well. I'll allow Wo'ro going to havo good weather now." Thoy wouldn't Ho, oh moroy nol They simply have forgot, you know. And when dry weather cornea ng.iln They say, "I think wo'ro neodlng rnin." They fold tholr hands upon tholr knoos, And laugh and talk and take tholr eaao, Thoy loavo tholr ajjplos In tho trees, And dig potatoos whon thoy please. please. Peoplo rldo nbout In-bucks With groon moss growing on tholr bnoks And umbrellas on tholr noso. And rubber coats down to tholr toem With greon moss hanging on their clothes, And on tholr feet, so Ivo been told, (Porohnnco I'm iruo, porghanoo I'm sold) A sort of-wohby substance grows. iSn tired and slok and very oross, I hato Uio sight of mud and moss; My bones thoy none, my Joints thoy swoll,' TIs rheurnatlx I lnow full well. If ovor I do got tho oush For eastern land's I'll mnke a dash; I'll live whoro I Uio sun oan vlow And havo my clothes look nloe and new. Oscar Donaldson, of Oregon. Hero's the original of that poem the Nebraska man turned into a var- ody on h-w it rains in Oregont I've reached the land of drought and heat, Where nothing grows for man eo eat: The wind that blows with burning heat, O'er all the land Is hard lo beat 0, Dakota IjjihI, 8wet Dakota Land, Ah on thy burning soil I stand, I lok away across tho plains. And wonder why It never rains, Til Gabriel blows his trumpet sound, And says "The rain has gone around," We have no wheat, we have no oats. We have no corn to feed eur shituts; Our chickens are too poor to eat, Our pigs go squealing through Uiu street Popular Olub, Dr. Ildward Uedtoe, ell I sen of PJiH adelplUa and the work) at latge, Is soon to up ply for n dlspeneatlun chsHglHK the name of the oalebiated "Seveaty-elx Million'' club to the "Mnhly Million" club. The Seventy-elx MllUen alub la an oisnnlsatioN formed by Dr. Bedlou when he lived in China. It ban a simple code of bylaws, as fellow. "I Any American cities sojourn ing in the far Host Is a member ef the levenly-elx Million club. "2. It Is always In order (0 take n drink when a quotum ef the olub la present "3. Two members of ihu olub shall constitute a quorum. "4, No mirrors or other mMhaalaa) devisee shall be used la establishing a quorum." Philadelphia Post. twenty-thHee ALL I&GHT Our horsea aro a broncho race, Starvation stares them In tho face, Wo dl not live, wo only.stay; We are too poor to go t away. Our fuol Is tho cheapest kln'd. Our women aro nil of ono mind, With bag In hand and turned up taoso, Thoy gnthor chips of buffaloes.. A Heply to "Webfoot Land." ' This tondorfoot ho had It bad; It ho'a gono East t'wont mako us sad. We'vo soon too many of his kind. And heard tho way they kicked and whined. Thoy seo so llttlo whoro thoy're raised That can bo lovod or ovon praised, . t That pessimism holds them fast And thoy'll be klckore to Uio last , No mattor whoro tholr homes may be, Tho good at hand thoy novor see; But always sing with mournful faco' Tho praises of Bonio othor place. ' To this fair -land thoy- Bometlmco como, ' With fretful tones and faces glum, And o'ro thoy oat their first square meal They're looking for n chanco to squeal. If they arrive in early spring It Is for thorn a fearful thing. For half a year thore's no qxquso Thin lovely country to traJucol Tho ellmao Is tho vory host In all this nation, Bast or West North, South or middle -where you please, x You neither roast, nor do you frccce Tho soil Is rich; crops novor fall; No blight or blizzard, giant hall, Cyclone or lightning, drouth or flood. Makes harried fannora sweat tholr blood. Cattle upon n thousand hills " '' itango frou from fnmlno and tho lUr Which sore bosot loss favored climes1. Tho farmer seldom feels hard -tiniee. d' - ,As o'on our critic In ono verso. Acknowledges in language torse: "Thoy leave tholr applos'on tho trees -t "And dig potatoes when ihoy please." Contagious sickness, fovors, "shakos" And oiioh. aro hero considered fakes. Etnplnymont plenty, wagon fair; , Hopo permeate tho vory air. The "chronics" coming to tho yest. Month after month kcop up tho quest For something about which to howl And whlno and caterwaul and yowt Tholr search Is fruitless, efforts vain, 'Till winter conitsa and brings the rolu,. At last) at lastl Tholr ratios thin . . Are lighted with umlonlo grin. With ono noonrd they tune thg lyre And sing of oloud and rain nnd nifro; Then they tako breath, tuna, up ogaiu, And sing of mud and oloud and rniit; -. With dirges growing yet more loud. They sing of rnln nnd mud and oloud; And In on iiuver-etidlng song The dUnial chorus thay prolong'. Well, let them pass; suoh folks nw born i In ovary country 'neath tho sun. The gootl Ixril mndo 'em and . must know Home reason why He, bull t 'em so, But ope request we mnke of these: Just stay "Imok Itast" mid roast and freeze. Htay where there is some sane excuse Jn yiHir surrounding for abuse. pon't come to tills, (lie fairest land That ever left the Maker's hand, And here set up your senjejsca oty. Stay where you are, and live or die. P. q Levar. ' ii i ii - .. "jt Rseelves an Appointment Governor Van Haul, ef Minnesota, wae iinueuully amused this week to received a letter from a constituent asking for an appointment to a politi cal ufNee. The letter read: MI want to be an ofnoo Itoldjer. I am not very particular as to the of fice. Anything within your power to confer will do; any old thing left ordr.M This so amused the Governor that he nt once made eut a eewmlseleli u pointing the applicant a notary pub Jlo, and flharged him. 3 for It'Nw York Times. He whom a oh I Id lakes by (be band. Uvea close to God. ' ' e -" , When Jealousy sleeps, Jove is dig' giDg her grave.