THE GATE CITY JOURNAL “Juat yoo clear off, ilka a good Freshen a Heavy Skin man," said Tommy. T i l had enough 1 | With the antiseptic, fascinating Cutl- of yon for one morning.“ t turn Talcum Powder, au exquisitely His mind was (till fall of hla bo- , | scented, economical face, skin, baby tel theory, and he was quite deter- ' ■ and dusting powder and perfume. mined not to be robbed by any plaua- j Renders other perfumes superfluous. lble stranger. He turned away and One of the Cutlcura Toilet Trio (Soap, walked acroaa the hall toward the i By IRVIN S. COBB Ointment, Talcum).— Advertisement. row of telephone boxes. He had no | Has No Backache, No Bad Feelings Intention of telephoning to any one. Because Lydia LP in k h am ’ s Veg­ (C o p y r ig h t .) Live in P re te n t, Indeed, he knew no one In Berlin to etable Compound Drove Her whom he could telephone, nor could Where the Partnership Dis­ a n d L ive Long Illness A w a y he have given a number in German. “ I read the news to keep young." solved He merely wished to escape from Ohauncey Depew told the reporters One of the o)dest stories In the known who Interviewed him on bis ninety- Caslmlr. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. — “ I waa in a badly run-down condition and I would But Caslmlr was not an easy man world—and In my humble Judgment first birthday. get weak spells and one of the best ones as well— denis to shake off. Ho followed Tommy. And that, in the terminology of a terrible headaches. “ You wish to go to the Hascotte with three actors— an aged negro, an flippant generation, wag not "apple­ I felt so badly last Itinerant conjurer and a twelve-pound tonight,” he said. “ Please?” sauce” for the young men of the press. year that I could not The word “ Please” was evidently snapping turtle. do any houseclean- Chauncey Depew not only reads the The most popular version runs in In constant use in Cnslmlr’a langunge. ing. The minute I news, but continues to be a part of would lift or stoop His repetition of it In English gave this w ise: It Is a hot day In a Missis­ the news. He Is active and alert at sippi countryside. The conjurer, who it seemed as i f 1 a curious effect of extreme politenesa ninety-one because he always has lived was going to fall to Is making ills way across country afoot, to his conversation. In the present, the Minneapolis Jour­ p ie c e s . I t o l d a Tommy had heard of the Mnscotte. is sitting alongside the dusty road, rest­ nal says. neighbor how I felt My nephew, Emily’s eldest boy, was ing. There passes him an ancient In youth Depew did not sit around and she said that In Berlin for some time aa a subor- j negro returning from a fishing expedi­ dreaming of an impossible utoplu nod Lydia E. Pinkham’s tion. The undertaking has yielded no dlnate member of the inter-allied mis- j VegetableCompound neglecting the opportunities of the slon of control. He knew all there fish but the darkey Is not going homo present. In age Depew does not sit was surely the right thing for me. empty-handed. He has captured a I took four bottles then and in the fall was to know about the night life of around mourning the pausing of the the city. It Is a supper place, huge snapping turtle. He is holding it good old days aud scorning the oppor­ o f the year I took three. I had been treated by a doctor but he gave me an fast by Its tall, which Is stretched ‘‘d— d expensive,” but the dancing tunities o f 1025. iron tonic and that did not help me. It wus “ top hole." It was not the sort I tautly over Ills right shoulder so that When the threatening Infirmities of seemed that the tonic did not have in it of dancing which the censors of the | the fiat undershell of the captive rests advancing years demanded certain what the Vegetable Compound did. That London county council would ap­ against his back. He has delectable changes in the diet and habits of this gave me the strength and ambition I prove, but It was “ top hole" and “ not ! visions dancing In his mind of turtle remarkable nun he made the changes needed and I have gained in w eight This year before I started to clean house too, you know, only rather more ao j soup, turtle steaks and turtle stew. He bids the recumbent stranger a polite without a murmur, nor did he let fear I got four bottlesof the VegetableCom­ than you’d see at home.” betray him Into a state of near-lnvalld- “ Please, you will visit the Mas- j good-morning and trudges on. He has lsm. He merely followed ills life rule pound and am taking itrig h t along. I tell all my frienda about it and how much gon* perliups twenty feet further when cotte.” good it does me. They can notice it be­ of accepting uncomplainingly what Caslmlr nodded and smiled In a i an impish Inspiration leaps full-grown cause I have gained in w eigh t I weigh ever time might bring him. very confidential manner, as If he and j Into the muglclan's brain. In addition 118 now and do all my work myself again.” — Mrs. E mil 0. B randenburg , Tommy shared a secret which no one to his other gifts he Is by way of being 6ol 37th Street Milwaukee, Wisconsin. else in the world knew anything a fair ventriloquist. He throws his voice Into the turtle’s about. Tommy revised his opinion of the man. He was not a hotel thief. mouth and speaking In a muddy, gut­ He was a tout, engaged In securing tural tone such as would be suitable to a turtle if a turtle ever indulged in customers for the Mascot te supper conversation, he says sharply: room. Tommy had heard of such “ Look here, nigger, where are you 5 “W}'n. H i had no intention of put­ taking me?” ting himself Into the hands of one Applicants for Insurance The old man freezes In his tracks. of them. Often Rejected He rolls his eyes rearward. There is “ She will be thera, aaturally,’’ snld the look of a vast, growing, startled Caslmlr, “ and"— another quotation, i Judging from reports from druggists bewilderment on his face. this time disagreeably suggestive to who are constantly in direct touch with “ W-li-who— who dat speakln' to me?” the public, there is one preparation that Tommy’s mind— he asks falteringly. JVr/ceS/. 0 ( \ has been very successful in overcoming "Journeys end In lovers meeting. “ It’s me speakln’ to you,” the turtle these conditions. The mild and healing M M ! D ru g g ists E v e r y wise man's son doth kn o w . " seemingly says, “ here on your back. I influence of Dr. Kilmer’s Swamp-Root is ) W FOUXR IH U fO D M O rm REQUEST. This was going too far. Tommy asked you where you were taking me." soon realized. It stands the highest for 70-SWAVE-. NEW YORK meant to enjoy himself on his holi­ “ Huh, boss," cries the old man, “ I its remarkable record of success. day. lie hnd discarded his clerical ain’t takin' you nowhars— I ’se leavin' An examining physician for one of the prominent Life Insurance Companies, in collar In order to do so more freely, you right yere I" an interview of the subject, made the as­ but he had no wish to pursue un­ And he does. tonishing statement that one reason why known ladles Into night clubs. In or­ so many applicants for insurance are re­ der to get rid of Caslmlr finally he jected* is because kidney trouble is so stepped Into the nearest telephone A Start From Humble common to the American people, and the vox. large majority of those whose applica­ Beginnings It was already occupied, and, since Mr. Campbell, who was a lawyer, tions are declined do not even suspect Soothinq and He&linq i telephone box Is always a very that they have the disease. Dr. Kilmer’s felt somewhat Irritated on reaching Swamp-Root is on sale at all drug stores small thing, he bumped Into a lady F o r 5 k in D is o r d e r s Ids office at 8:30 In the morning to in bottles of two sizes, medium and large. who held the receiver to her ear. She find the fire In the grate unklndled However, if you wii-h first to test this was so Intent on what she was doing and the floor unswept and the place great preparation send ten cents to Dr. L. D. S. Business College that she took no notice of Tommy. generally In a state of disorder. It Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y., for a S C H O O L OF E T E IC IE N C Y He most unwillingly heard what sbs When writing be sure wus nearly nine o'clock before Ike, hla •ample bottle A I) commerci»! branche». U h tal oh : free. was saying. and mention this paper. black office servant, appeared. 0 0 N. M a lo St. S A L I L A K E C IT Y » U TAH "Then let me tell you, young man, “ Good Lord, Ike," said Mr. Camp­ that there’ll be trouble. Lord Ed­ bell petulantly. “ What's detained J a p s L e a rn E nglish P A R K E R ’S mund Troyte distinctly promised thnt H A IR B A L S A M you?” as M a tte r of C ourse my passport would be ready for me. Remuyw Dandruff 8topa Hair Falling "Mist’ Campbell,” apologized Ike. Reatorea Color and English is taught In the public Yes? Whnt’s that? I ’ve been to the Beauty to Gray and Faded Hair “ you must please, suh, 'souse me fut 00c and $1 00 at DrasKiats. schools all over Japan. LHter, when I consulate three times and I'm going bein’ late dls one time. I sort of over­ Btm 1'h-m wt* I B S l Y- came to travel widely in the Interior, I (gain. The consul Is totally lncont- slept myse’f. De truth of the matter often found bright schoolboys four­ H IN D E R C O R N S He moyen Corns. Cal- netent and his clerks are rude. It's louaes, etc., atopa a ll pain, enatires com fort to the Is dat I wuz kept up de best part of teen or fifteen years old who would feet, makes walking easy. 16c by m all or a t Imig- your business. What? Yes. I say j de night on' count o f Jlnln’ a cullld volunteer as Interpreters, Theodore tfiaia. i l l too z Chemical Works, Patcbogue, N. Y. it's your business. You’re the third ! lodge.” secretary, you sny. That makes no i “ It surely didn’t lake you all night Geoffrey writes In the Saturday Eve­ INFLAM ED EYES ning Post. difference. It's your business to see j to join a lodge, did It?” Uae Hr. Thompson's Hyewater. In another generation English may about that passport. Huy at ypnrdnigElat'n or "Naw suh, not perzac’ly. De fust 1161 Hirer Troy. N. Y. Booklet. “ What on earth are you doing there ■ part of de evenin’ dey wuz ’nlclatln’ be a second language for the Japanese, and who are you?” me into de membership an’ de rest of even ns the Dutch today nre competent Janet Church turned at last to J de time dey wuz ’onductin’ me into linguists, because the world cannot be bothered to learn Dutch. Tommy, who had humped Into her office." again. She was fully dressed this j English, unless a Japanese has been “ Isn't it rather unusual to confer Immediate Shipments lime and the light In the telephone an office on a member Immediately educated abroad, becomes rather pe­ culiar In Japanese months, for ac­ box was dim. But he recognized her after taking him In?" Salt Lake Box & Lumber Co. at once as the lady who had stood j “ Naw suh, dat’s de standin’ rule In cording to Japanese custom, every con­ •19 S. 5th W ait Silt Lake City, Utah talking German In the corridor. He dat lodge—Jes’ soon ez you Is 'nictat­ sonant must be followed by a vowel, also realized that she was In an ex- | ed you gits a office.” and there is no "1" or “ v” or “ th.” ceedlngly bad temper. Caslmlr, with “ What office did they confer upon Thug "beer” becomes "bleru” ; “ glass,” W. N. U., Salt Lake City, No. 23-1925. his suggestion of strange lady-loves "gur88U." and “ hotel.” “ hoteru.” you ?" at the Mascotte, was had enough. “ Imperial Supreme King.” L uck Janet Church, thirsting for the blood “ What?” Bay Long, editor of the Henrst’s of the third secretary, was worse. "Dat’s whut dey calls it—Imperial International ■ Cosmopolitan Magazine, Tommy left the telephone box hur- j Supreme King of de Universe." tells why he doesn't believe In luck. rledly. "Isn't that rather a high office for He thinks every man gets about what F O R IN D IG E S TIO N Caslmlr was walling for him out- a brand new member?” he deserves. In proof he tells a story •dde. “ Why, naw, suh. Mist’ Campbell, W J lP 1 In which Sam Harris, theatrical pro­ "Please.” he said, “ I have engaged dat’s de lowes' office dey Is in dat IHDIGtSTtOHjI ducer, points the moral; i table for you at the Mascotte. It lodge. W ’en l ’s been In a spell longer "Luck may he 5 per cent of life, is catalogued—no, registered, no, I dey Is goln' to give me somethin' real­ but the other 95 per cent— which Is remember, you sny booked, for the ly worth while.” 6 B ell - a n s what’s In the tnun— always decides Graf von Norheys, please.” Hot water the outcome. I’ve met thousands of "I don't exactly know what a Graf Sure Refief people everywhere, in every wulk of %,•* said Tommy, “ but whatever It Is, The Confusing Geography of life, and I never knew one who got I’m not one." Jersey much more or less than he deserved. “ Please?” said Caslmlr. “ Ah. I see. When a chap knows medicine and Years ago, when I earned my dally If It were possible— In France, yes. 254 AND 754 PACKAGES EVERYWHERE Europe and five languages, and still la M. le Marquis. There Is no difficul­ bread and occasional beer on Park a waller, aomethlng's w rong I” row, one Andy Horn ran a cozy bar ty. But hcr& Excellcnz perhaps. Or C h e e rfu l G iving in P e ru in the shadow of Brooklyn bridge. Prinz. Otherwise there Is only Graf A temple In Peru which was begun All sorts and conditions of men fre­ It will not he understood If I cats 10,000 years ago has not yet been com­ The wise man doean’t wait for for­ quented the saloon— sailors, newspa­ logue the table for Herr Marquis. As pleted. Evidently It Is being built by tune to knock at hla door; he goes out per men, rich men, poor men, police­ your poet Shakespeare says, 'As you popular subscription.—Life. to meet It. men off duty, artists and commuters like it.” ’ (T O B E C O N TIN U E D ) from over the river. A grubby person known a* Smlttv was a fixture at Andy's. He cut up And H e N ever C am e B ack Poor and sad, a tired-looking Indi­ food for the free lunch counter, did odd jobs and in rush hours helped to vidual entered the shanty where the serve the trade. Smltty was to Man­ workmen were eating their dinners. hattan what a cockney Is to London. He was carrying a red tin can. He had been born on Cherry hill, ' Hey, comrades,” be sighed, holding out a hand by way of salutation j right around the corner; he had been "Look at this tin cf powder I picker. | reared on the Bowery and he had up this morning. I guess 1 11 blow my­ never ranged further than Coney Is self up with It and so end jny trouble? j lend or Far Rockaway. Greater New York city was all the world he knew here and now." “ Cut that sort of talk ar.d clear out.’ \ or cared to know. His sister married a German mar­ ordered the foreman. But the man addressed paid no at- ! ket gardener over in New Jersey, and tentlon. He cast one glance around i when his summertime vacation came Smitty went to visit her for two the shanty, then walked deliberately weeks. His new brother In-law had to the stove, opened the door and bought a car and had promised to thrust the can Inside. tour Smltty about over the state and A shriek of dismay followed this sc Hon nnu a ifioment later the place was 1 show him the sights. At the end of a week Smltty wa* empty. Ten minutes later, when the run­ hack at w for country life?" "N ix on dat »tuff fur me.” «aid d ally prepared for Infants in arm s and Children all ages. possessions Smltty. “ I'm offen It fur life. Say, dot .lolsey soit Inly la on» funny place. It Is ISO years since the first botti* T o avaid imitations, always look (or tbe signature of Why. all dem towns over there Is got glass factory In America was «alai» Proven direction» on each package. Physician» everywhere recommend It different m ines!” Habed al ( -AShoro N. J NOW DOES ALL HER WORK M Y F A V O R IT E S T O R IE S down on the -arpet In the corridor. So took Tommy's words to be an in­ vitation to eater the bedroom. Tom­ my stood exactly in the middle of the doorway. Caslmlr, bowing very politely, tried to pass him. Tommy suddenly recollected that all his money, his plies of German marks, lay on the table In the middle of the room. A horrible explanation of Cas- Imlr's presence suggested Itself. The man had made no mistake. He had not been sent to the wrong room by the clerk In the hotel office. He was a hotel thief. Tommy had heard of such people. They are immensely daring, Immensely clever, and they adopt all sorts of ruses. They are often well dressed. They are always plausible. Tommy winked knowingly at Cas- imlr to show that he understood the situation and cherished no lll-feellng. Then he firmly shut the door In his visitor's fuce. AN UNKNOWN VISITOR SYN OPS IS. — In London ths t el le r o f thw » t o r y o f the a d v e n ­ tu r e» o f " K i n s To m m y ," and kn ow n he re a f te r as "U nc le BUI." la Info rme d by Lo rd Norheya, aon o f an old friend, that Lo rd Tro y te , head o f the British fo r- elgn office, N orh eys uncle, has a echeme to m ak e him ( N o r h e y s ) k in s o f l^ystrla, in ce ntral E u ­ rope, th rough m a r r ia ge to C a ­ lypso, da u gh te r o f K i n g W la dla - lawa, deposed monarch o f that country. A financier, Proc opius Cable, kn ow s there Is oil In p r o ­ fusion in L yat rl a, and w i th an E n gl is h k i n g on the throne the output could bo secured fo r E n g ­ land. Norheys, In love wi th a s t a ge dancer, V io la Te mple, Is not enthusiastic o v e r the p r op o­ sition. Th e patriarch. Menelaus, highest ecclesiastical d ig n it a r y In Ly st ri a, is he ar ti ly In f a v o r o f the res toration o f the monarchy, and Cable has gen er ous ly financed the sentiment. Calyp so is m a k ­ ing a li v in g danc ing in the “ Mas- cotte," Ber lin cabaret. Norhe ys refuses to ente rta in the idea o f g i v i n g up V io la Temple, to whom he is secret** engaged. "U nc le BiH’s" sister E m il y urges him to secure a passport fr o m Lo rd Troyte for a ce rtain Janet Church, strong -m inde d fem ale wh o wants to visit L y s t r i a in the interests o f a soc iety f o r w o r ld peace. Janet Church leaves fo r Berlin. "U nc le B i ll " Is aga in appealed to by his sister to find a certain cur ate (nam e not g i v e n ) wh o has le f t his parish in Irela nd fo r a visit to Borlln, and cannot be found. Lo rd N orh eys and V i o l a Te m p le disappear from London. Proc opius Cable receive s I n f o r ­ mation that Norheys. w ith tne princess, has le f t there on his w a y to Ly st ri a, but N or he y s a p ­ pears w ith the fo rm e r V i o l a Te mple, n ow his w ife . T h e q ue s­ tion is, " W h o is the man w h o has gone to L y s t r ia w ith the Princess Cal ypso?" Cas lmlr Introduces himself, and Janet Church, va in ly se ek in g f r o m the British consu­ late a passport to Ly st ri a, b e ­ comes acquainted w ith the tw o men in the A d lo n hotel. CHAPTER VIII CHAPTER VII— Continued That seemed a small result of so much conversation, and gave Tommy very little fresh Information. The Casimir and (he Istvan he had read on the visiting card, though in re­ versed order. Graf he took to be the German for count. “ Tell him,'' he said, “ that there's a mistake. He can t possibly want to see me. Ask him who he does want, and then get him to go down again and find the number of his friend's room." Janet started again. So did Cas­ imir. This time they talked for a quarter of an hour, fast and emphat­ ically. There is nothing In the world so Irritating as hearing two people talk to each other In an un­ known langunge when you know they are talking about your affairs. Tom­ my is the best tempered of men, but even be begun to feel Impatient. “ He says,” said Janet, turning to Tommy at last, “ that he's sure your name Is Norheys.” “ Is that all he said?” “ That’s all,” said Janet. “ Well, then, all I can say Is that I don't wonder the Germans lost the war. If it takes them half an hour to say ‘What’s your name?’ they can t expect to get on at war or anything else, it must be an utterly rotten language." Janet, who hated all Germans with a passionate intensity during the war, has been developing a strong af­ fection for them since the peace was signed. She cannot bear, now, to hear a wmrd said against them and has transferred her dislike to the French. When Tommy Insulled the German language she turned away and stalked down the corridor to­ ward the bath. Casimir has an amazing facility In quotation. “ ‘And the Imperial votaress passed on.' " he said. “ 'In maiden medita­ tion, fancy free.’ Please.” Cnsimir’s English accent was by no means perfect. Tommy, though he ought to have recognized Shake­ speare’s compliment to Queen Eliza­ beth, seemed to have thought that the count was still talking German. He darted Into his room and picked up his phrase book. He distinctly re­ membered that he had somewhere seen the sentence “ Please go away." That was as I have said, a very good phrase book. "Please go away” Is a thing which the traveler In a for­ eign land constantly wants to say to beggars, extortionate cabmen, guides, touts, and officials who want r.> look at passports. Tommy grabbed the book, turned over the pages quickly, and came to the sentence he wanted. Unfortunately, the next sentence In the book was “ Please sit down." Tommy, running hi» eyes hurriedly from the English to the German enl- ■mn. picked up the wrong phrase. “Bitte set zen sle slch." he said Casimir could not verv well sit An hour later Tommy stepped from the elevator Into the great central hall of the hotel. He had discarded his clerical stock. He wore a light blue tie Instead. He was still a young man, only a little more than twenty-six, not long enough In Holy Orders to have his profession recog­ nizably written on his face. A by­ stander, Interested In his appearance, might have guessed him to be n young barrister, or perhaps a clerk In one of the higher branches of the civil service. But no one appeared to be the least Interested In Tommy’s ap­ pearance, or to care what he was or what he did. The large hail was full of people. Hotel porters In red Jackets wheeled barrows o f luggage in and out. Page­ boys, as thickly decorated with but­ tons as any of their kind anywhere in the world, went to and fro wall­ ing the numbers of the rooms of the guests whom they sought—guests whom visitors had come to see or for whom telephone calls had been mnde. Fussy travelers, newly ar rived and filled with a sense of their own importance, crowded round the desk of the reception clerk and de­ manded rooms. Self-possessed elder­ ly men, mostly fat and often Jewish, lounged In deep chairs with cigars in their mouths and surveyed the scene through half-closed eyes. Amer­ ican tourists eddied round the news­ paper stalls In the corner of the hall and clamored for the New York Her­ ald. It was In their eyes a sign of the well nigh Inconceivable stupidity and incompetence of all European peoples that the supply o f New York Heralds was insufficient to meet their demands. The desk of a harassed woman who sold concert and theater tickets was besieged by ladles who did not know exnctly what they want­ ed hut hoped to secure seats at some agreeable entertainment by asking questions In had German. A boy. rather older than the pages, stood at the swinging glass door and drove it round on Its pivot with vigorous pushps. He drove It faster and fast­ er as more and more people passed In and out. His hope was that some time In the course of the morning he would succeed In hitting a slowly- moving passer with the following wing of the door. Those who en­ tered and left the hotel approached the whirling door very much in the spirit - of medieval sportsmen who rode at the quintain. All this delighted Tommy. He had hitherto led a quiet and uneventful life, seldom disturbed by anything more exciting than a Sunday school treat. He - watched the moving fig arcs, gazed at the strange faces, lis­ tened to a babel of different lan­ guages. and felt that this was exact­ ly what he had come to Berlin to en­ joy. For some time he wav content simply to stand watching and listen­ ing. Then he. began to wonder what he had better do next. He had the whole 'Jay before nini. His breast pocket was stuffed with money. He had a great city to explore. Before leaving home lie had read up Baedeker's Guide to Berlin, an old copy borrowed from my sister Em­ ily. He knew that there was a street called Enter den Linden which he ought to see, a park called the Tier Garten, an avenue called the Sieges Alice, several churches and museums. There were theaters, picture galler­ ies and restaurants, all duly named and the nature Indicated by the worthy Baedeker. At the moment he felt more attracted toward a res­ taurant Hla breakfast had been vefjr light, and though it was only ten o’clock, he felt hungry. He won­ dered whether It would he possible to demand luncheon ‘ n a Berlin restau­ rant at that hour without exciting the derision of the waiters. He felt a light touch on hi* arm and looked round Count Caaimir | stood beside him. Thousands Have Kidney Trouble and Never Suspect It LEO NAR D EAR OIL RESINOL Berry Cups and Crates Sure Relief m ELL-AN S i L