T H E G A T E C ITY JO U R N A L
MY FAVORITE
STORIES
"SIM PLY ROTTEN”
S Y N O PSIS. — In L on d on the
te lle r of th e s to r y o f the a d v e n
tu res o f “ K in g T o m m y ,” and
k n o w n h e r e a ft e r a s “ U n cle B ill,”
Is In fo rm e d by L ord N orh ey s. son
o f an o ld frie n d , that L ord
T ro y te . h e a d o f the B ritis h f o r
e ig n office, N o rh e y s ' un cle, has a
sch em e to m a k e him (N o r h e y s )
k in g o f L y s t r ia , in ce n tr a l E u
rop e, t h r o u g h m a r ria g e to C a
ly p so, d a u g h te r o f K in g W Ja d is-
la w s, d e p o se d m on a rch o f that
co u n try . A fin a n cier, P ro c o p iu s
C able, k n o w s th e re is o il in p r o
fu s io n in L y s tr ia , and w ith an
E n g lis h k in g on the th ro n e the
o u tp u t c o u ld be secu red fo r E n g
land.
N o rh e y s, in lo v e w ith a
s ta g e d a n ce r, V io la T em p le, is
n ot e n th u s ia s tic o v e r the p r o p o
sition . T h e p a tr ia rc h , M enelaus,
h ig h e st e c c le s ia s t ic a l d ig n it a r y
in L y s tria , is h e a rtily in fa v o r o f
the re s t o r a tio n o f the m on a rch y ,
an d C a b le ha s g e n e r o u s ly financed
th e s en tim en t. C a ly p so is m a k
in g a liv in g d a n c in g in th e “ M as-
c o t t e ,” B e rlin c a b a r e t.
N orh ey s
re fu s e s to e n te rta in the id ea o f
g iv in g up V io la T em p le, to w h om
he Is s e c r e t ly e n g a g e d .
“ U ncle
B ill’s” s is t e r E m ily u r g e s him to
L ord
s e cu re a p a s s p o rt fro m
T r o y te
fo r
a
ce r ta in
Jan et
C h u rch ,
s tr o n g m in d e d
fe m a le
w h o w a n ts to vis it L y s tr ia in
th e in te re s ts o f a s o c ie t y fo r
w o r ld peace.
CHAPTER IV
1 found a letter from my sister Em
ily waiting for me when I got home.
"I want you," she wrote "to use
your influence with Edmund Troyte
to get a passport to Megalia for Janet
Church. You remember Janet, I'm
sure.”
I remembered Janet Church per
fectly well. She is a bony lowland
Scot, and when I met her at Emily's
house she was touring Ireland on be
half o f a temperance society. I re
member her saying at dinner that she
would rather put a red-hot poker in
to her mouth than a glass o f wine
That, I am sure, was not true. How
ever much she might dislike wine sh«
could always spit it out again. Site
could not spit out a red-hot poker.
"Janet Church,” Emily went on, "is
going to Megalia as the representa
tive of the Society for the Establish
ment o f World Peace through the in
fluence
of
the
Union
Christian
churches. There seems to be a won
derful opening In Lystria, which is
now part of the Itepublic o f Megalia.
The present patriarch— ’’
According to Emily, the present
patriarch is a man o f singularly plas
tic mind, willing to unite his church
with any other In the interests of
world peace.
I put Emily's letter into a nice, flat
varnished basket which stands on my
writing table and is meant to contain
unanswered letters. Emily gave me
that basket last year as a Christmas
present. I was glad to be able to use
It for a letter o f hers.
I had of
course no intention whatever o f ask
ing Troyte to get a passport for Janet
Church.
But I did not get rid of the busi
ness so easily as that.
Next day
Janet Church called on me. In ap
pearance she was Just as I remem
bered her, in determination
rather
worse. The passport to Megalia had
been refused. She attributed that to
the hatred which the Foreign office
felt to the idea of a world peace and
to Lord Edmund Troyte's dread of the
Influence o f a union of the Chrlstlun
churches.
I dare say she was right in blam
ing Troyte. Knowing what he did
about the condition of Lystria, he can
not possibly have wanted to add to
the confusion o f the coming revolu
tion by letting loose an earnest
Scotchwoman in the country. Also
he probably thought that the Patri
arch Menelaus would be too much oc
cupied preparing for a royal marriage
and coronation to have any time to
spare for planning a world union of
Christian churches.
“ With the peace o f Europe hang
ing in the balance," Janet said, “ and
the prospect o f another war within
ten years. It is o f vital importance
that the influence o f the Christian
churches, o f all o f them— ”
"A ll.” I murmured sympathetically,
“ all. all."
“ Should be brought to bear on our
statesmen. And how Is that to be
done?"
"Only,” I said, "by means of a union
o f Christian churches."
“ Especially the Church of Lystria,”
said Janet.
I could not see why the I.ystrlan
church, which must be quite a small
body, should be so very Important.
But Janet Church evidently thought
1» was. So, dare eay, did Emily.
“Couldn't yon." I cald. “write to
tbe patriarch Instead o f going to tee
Sis name la Menelans. A
him?“
Mtter addreased te HJa Beatitude
AFTER HER BABY CAME
passport? Look here. Troyte, let*«
S# S e e e e e W e e e e e e
compromise. I'll say no more about
Miss Temple and the morgauatlc mar
riage if you'll let Janet Church go
to Lystria. She’ll worry the Ufe out
of me if you don’t.”
"I'll tell you what I'll do,”
said
By IRVIN S. COBB
Troyte. “ I’ll let her have a passport
to Germany, but not an inch further. • © * - • >*
1
She can go to Berlin if she likes and
(C o p y righ t.)
Tell« How Lydia E. Pinkham’a Vegetable Compound
stay there.”
A Lover o f Statiatica
“That's something,"
I
replied.
Restored Her Health
There was a seance on— a regular
“ She'll be out of London anyhow."
seance, with a trance medium and a
“ I'm sorry for the Germans,” said
black cheesecloth cabinet and a mys
got relief. A fter I was well again I
Troyte.
went to the doctor and he asked me
terious table rapper and a ghostly j
"Oh, they deserve It A fter all,
how I was getting along. 1 told him
guitar picker and a smell o f frying j
what's the use o f our having won the
I was taking Lydia E. Pinkham’s
cabbage floating in from the back o f ^
war if we can't do anything afterward
Vegetable Compound, and he said it
to make them feel uncomfortable?" I the house and everything orthodox, j
did not hurt any one to take it. I am
I called on Janet Church in her ho like that. The medium was a stout
always recommending the Vegetable
lady In black, who was raising a
Compound to others and 1 always
tel and told her my news. I was
have a bottle o f it on hand.’ ’ —Mrs.
afraid she would be furious
with brown mustache and whose controls ]
H enry H ollister , R. F. D. N o . 1.
Troyte for limiting her wanderings. took those liberties with the English
Box 7, Wyandotte, Michigan.
WNU Barrie«.
To my surprise she toon It very well. language which seemingly is permit
A nother Woman’s Cate
“ If I get as far as Germany," she ted In a realm where there Is neither j
I the Patriarch Meneiaue,
Lystria,
St. Paul, Minnesota. — " I have •
said, "I’ll manage to go on somehow.” space nor lime—nor grammar. She
| would be sure to find him.”
little girl three years old and ever
came from Brooklyn, where so many j
"W ell,” I said, "good-by and good
"A personal interview Is ltslispens-
since her birth I nave suffered with
luck. If you find yourself languish of those who take in spiritualism for
able.”
my back as if it were breaking in
a living do come from, but at the tlma
two, and bearing-down pains all
If the patriarch is the least like ing in a Siberian dungeon, send a line of which I speak she was playing the
the time. I also bad dizzy spells. 1
Troyte in character, or like me, Janet to the nearest British consul.”
had read several letters o f women
“ I’m not going anywhere near Si provinces, as the troupers say. Tha
Church may have one personal Inter
audience
was
of
fairish
size.
Amid
in the newspapers, and the druggist
view with him but will certainly not beria," said Janet.
recommended
Lycfta E. Pinkham’s
the
throng
sat
a
half-grown
youth
"You may not mean to,” I said,
have another. I suppose she realized
Vegetable Compound to my husband
1 from about three miles out on R. F. ;
that she was not likely to get Into “ but you never know where you’ll
for me. As a result o f taking it
M R S . H E N R Y H O L L IS T E R
D. No. 3. He was attending his flrat j
W Y A N D O T T E , M IC H IG A N
my back has stopped aching and the
my flat again, for she refused to leave fetch up when you sturt traveling in
j spiritualistic seanca. And ha was be
the
Near
East.”
awful
bearing-down feeling is gone.
Wyandotte,
Michigan.
—"A
ft
e
r
my
until I had promised to do what I
ing suitably Impressed. As manlfee- |
bahv was born I did not do my own I feel stronger and do all o f my house
could with Troyte about the passport.
tatlon succeeded manifestation, hla
work for six months and could hardly work and tend to my little girl I
I kept the promise and made an ap
CHAPTER V
take care o f my own baby. I always have also taken Lydia E. Pinkham’s
eyes popped and his ear» twitched.
peal to Troyte.
had a pain in my right side and it was Liver Pills for constipation. I have
If he had had gills, beyond doubt they
"I know all about that woman,” he
Janet Church left London next day
so bad I was getting round shoulders. recommended these medicines to
would have opened and closed.
said. “ She makes trouble wherever and I congratulated myself that I
1 would feel well one day and then some o f my friends and you may use
Presently
the
medium's
husband,
feel so bad for three or four days that this letter as a testimonial ir you
she goes. I can’t have letters com had escaped one worry. I actually
who
acted,
so
to
speak,
as
ringmaster,
I
would be in bed. One Sunday my wish. I will be pleased to answer
ing to me by every courier from all enjoyed several peaceful days. Then
desired
to
know
whether
there
was
mother came to see how I was, and letters o f other women if I can help
the legations in Europe asking me to Norheys came to me again.
she said a friend told her to tell me to them by telling them what this medi
“ Did you tell Uncle Ned," he said, yet another present desirous o f hav
keep that woman at home."
try Lydia E. Pinkham’ s Vegetable cine has done f o r m e ." — Mrs. P rice ,
" I f you set any value on your own “ that I'm going to marry Viola and ing speech with some dear departed
Compound.
So the next day I got a 147 West Summit Avenue, St. Paul,
one. If to madame would undertake
peace and mine,” I said, “ you’ll give no one else?”
bottle and before it was h all taken 1 Minnesota.
to
establish
liaison.
"No, I didn't," I said. "I told him
her a passport to Lystria and then
This was the cue for the yokel. He
A vast majority can’t understand
keep her there.”
exactly what you said I was to tell
“ I wish,” said Troyte, “ that ail re him ; that you were determined to mustered courage to stutter ao em how money Is innde in speculation;
p o h n s
barrassed
plea.
He
wished
to
have
else they’d speculate.
marry Miss Temple, but were quite
ligious women were in Heaven."
“ If you let her go to Lystria,” I ready to marry anybody else as well.” speech with the shade o f bis late fa
DISTEMPER
ther.
Norheys grinned.
said, “ she probably will be in Heav
8have With Cuticura 8oap
COMPOUND
After a proper wait there were And double your razor efficiency as
“ How did he take that?” he asked.
en soon. I don’t know the patriarch
I or male«
“ He said Just what I expected him sounds in the cabinet and through the well as promote skin purity, skin com
personally, but he’ll execute her be
being* laid up with Distemper, Influenss,
fore she’s been a week there if he's to say, that he’d never agree to your darkness there spoke the tones of one
fort and skin health.
No mug, no Pink Eye, Laryugltlft, Heaves, Coughs or
of seeming hoary age.
Hive ••HPOHN'8" to both the sick
committing bigamy.”
half as savage as Norheys says."
slimy soap, no germs, no waste, no irri Colds.
and the well ones. The standard remedy
" I f that's so,” said Norheys, “ It
Troyte asked what Norheys
had
“ Is that you, my son?” asked the tation even when shaved tw ice dally. for 80 years. Clive "SPOHN’B” for Dog Dis
60 cento and $1.20 at drug stores.
been saying about the patriarch. I puts the lid on the whole black prin voice.
One soap for all uses— shaving, bath temper.
HPOHN MKDICAL CO.
OOSHEN, LND.
could only reply that I was mistaken cess scheme. What I always say is
"Yes. paw, this here is me,” an ing and shampooing.— Advertisement.
th is: a fellow ought to knuckle un swered the youth.
Somehow the sun never fthlnes half
der his family— uncles and aunts and
A misplaced switch used to wreck a no hot on the baseball grounds as on
“ Was there any questions yon
all that lot—so long as they’re ask
the harvest field.
wished to ast me concernin’ my pres woman's train o f thought.
ing him to do the things which don’t
ent state?" continued the accommo
annoy him m uch; but as soon as they
dating voice.
begin chipping in in really offensive
The boy thought a moment. T h en :
ways then he oughtn't to. That’s my
"W here air you, paw ?" he Inquired
idea o f a fellow ’s duty, anyhow. I
with simple directness.
don't know If it's yours.”
“ Heaven, my son.”
I said that a great deal depended
"A ir you an angel, paw?”
on his definition o f the word offen
"Oh, yes, my son.”
sive, and that so far as I could see.
“ An angel with wings and a harp ;
Calypso was anything but that.
“ Anyhow," said Norheys, "whether and everything?”
you agree with me or not, you can | The answer was somewhat muf- j
fled but seemingly in the affirmative, i
tell Uncle Ned what I say.”
I d id ; and Troyte told Procopius The son considered a moment. Then j
^
Cable. Norheys was back with me he had an inspiration.
“ I say. paw,” he demanded sagely, j
two days later and this time he was
“ whut do you measure frum tip to j
in a really bad temper.
“ Look here, Uncle Bill," he said, tip?"
“ I'm getting a bit fed up with this
sort of thing. I don’t say it’s your
He Didn’t Believe in Signs
fault, but there it is, and I'm d— d If
A fireman on duty behind the scenes
I stand any more o f it.”
of one o f the big New York theaters
“ What's happened to you n o w ? '
"This way o f going on is simply and charged with the responaibillty of
seeing to it that the regulations were
M O T H E R : - Fletcher’sC as-
rotten,” said Norheys. “ As long as
strictly obeyed hack-stage, suffered a
it was merely a matter o f Uncle Ned
toria is a pleasant, harmless
profound shock as he came around
persecuting me day and night and
from behind s stack o f scenery. Just
Substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
pelting me with oil paintings o f Indian
before the evening performance. Stand
goric, Teething Drops and Soothing Syrups, especially prepared
"If I Get as Far as Qarmany,” She squaws, I didn't mind. But It’s a ing in the opposite wings was a sales
Said, "I'll Manage to Go on Some bit too thick when he sets on a slimy man for an East side cloak and suit
for Infants in arms and Children all ages.
Jewish money-lender to try bribing
how.”
Viola to give me up. I didn't think concern, who had procured entrance
T
o avoid imitations, always look for the signature o f
In saying that he thought about the Uncle Ned would have played It as via the stage door for the purpose of
soliciting orders for his wares among
Proven directions on each package. Physicians everywhere recommend it
patriarch at all. The person he called low as that."
the young ladle« of the chorus. This
savage was the princess.
"I’m perfectly certain,” I said, “ that
person was vehemently puffing on a
M ea su rin g C orpuaclea
“ He seems quite sure,” I said, "that he never did any such thing.”
large, long, black, malignant-looking
A new Instrument based on the In
she's black."
Lord Edmund was extremely anx
terference o f light waves has been de
"H e knows perfectly well that she's ious to rescue the head of his fam cigar.
In three Jumps the scandalized flra-
signed at the United States bureau of
nothing of the sort." said Troyte. ily from an
undesirable entangle
standards to accurately measure the
That's merely an excuse to get out ment and he wanted to see Norheys man had the violator by the arm.
of marrying her.”
"Say,” be demanded, “ what the h— I chambers used for counting blood cor
established as a European sovereign.
5 o o fh in q &nd He&linq
puscles.— Science Service.
“ I suppose you know,” I said, “ that But he would not hire a Jew to offer do you mean, cornin’ in here with that
he's formally engaged to Miss Tem bribes to Miss Temple.
torch burnin’ in your face? Don't you
for Skin and ScalpTroubles
ple and means to marry her."
On the Street Car
"Anyhow," snid Norheys, “the brute see that sign right up over your head?"
“ W e must get him out o f the en came, a fat flabby animal, and tried
The trespasser's eyes turned w h en
“ I can’t bear to see a woman stand
tanglement," said Troyte. “ And the to persuade Viola to take a check for the fireman's finger pointed.
ing. So I close my eyes and prelend
best way o f doing it is to push on the ten thousand pounds. If Uncle Ned
I am asleep.”—Quotidian, Paris.
“ Sure, mister," he said, "I see It.”
marriage with the Princess Calypso." didn't send him, who did?"
"W ell, can't you read?" demanded
"Until you've convinced him that
“ Did you hear his name?"
Why ask your dealer to supply you
the fireman.
she isn't black—”
“ Yes, I did. He sent In his card
“ Sure I can read," admitted the with butter of the first rank?
"D on't talk nonsense,” said Troy to Viola and she kept it. Here it is.”
other calmly.
te. "She's an extremely good look
He handed me a visiting card. 1
“Then read what It aaya there. Don't
ing and attractive girl, far too good half expected the name I saw on It
Godsend to the Bilious!
you see what It sa.va In big letters? It
for him. I've given him her photo — Procopius Cable.
“ 1 take great pleasure in telling you what
SAVE YOUR EYES!
says— 'No Smoking.' "
• Oodsend are Beecham’s Pill«.
1 am a
graph."
"That's the same swine." said Nor
Use Dr. Thompson’« llyewater
woman twenty-five year« o f age. For year« 1
“ Yes.” agreed the East Sider with a
Buy at your druggist « or
suffered from bilious headaches. Ten year«
"Photos are often faked,” I said. heys. "w ho’s doing the deal with Un
1187 Hirer. Troy. N.Y. Booklet.
winning
smile,
"but
it
don't
say
‘Posl-
ago 1 tried Beecham’ a Pill«, 1 have never
"Couldn’t you get a colored portrait cle Ned about the oil.”
been
without
them
since.
tively.' ”
so that he could see for himself that
"Exactly.
But I’ m sure your an
" I hope all persona who suffer in this manner
will not hesitate to try them.”
she isn’t black. If you had her paint cle didn’t send him to bribe Miss Tem
s c h o o l o r rrricifN C Y
Mrs. Edna Dean, Providence. R. 1.
ed in an evening dress it would go ple.”
All commercial branches. Catalog free.
Ladies First Always
T
ake
Bmcham’t
Pills
for
biliousness,
constipation,
some way to relieve his miad about
6 0 N. Main S t
BALT LAKE CITY* UTAH
Procopius Cable, eager to get at the
sick headaches and other digestive ailments.
The man who told me this one, as 1
the tattooing. He'd know that her Lystrian oil, had tired of Troyte’s
we stood together on the rim of tha
For FREE S A M P L E —write
n
O
/
\
■
/
Any book you want
arms and neck were dear, anyhow.” cautious diplomacy and begun to act
Grand Canyon, swore It was true. I j B. F. A llen Co., 4 1 7 Canal Street, N e w York
c. o a
“ I wish you wouldn’t be flippant,” for himself. He had made a mess of believed him, for he had the reputation
B uy from your druggist in S f and f e e boxes
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ D eseret B ook C o ,
said Troyte. “This is rather a serious it, a far worse mess thaa I knew or nil over the Southwest o f never telling •
44 East So. Temple, Salt Lake City, Utah
business.
There's the question of guessed then.
an unnecessary lie.
oil— a matter o f Imperial interest,
He said a typical "m over,” ahlftl*aa |
W . N. U., S a lt L a k e City, No. 19 -1926.
and Cable says he's pushed things on
restless and sockless, was spending e
so far that Lystria is on the verge of
It docs look as if Procopius
short time at an Arizona cow camp j
a revolution. I really don't know what
Cabls had made a mats of
preparatory to moving on into the I
would happen if the patriarch and
tnings.
And ths result?
desert on a so called prospecting tour, j
Count Casimir were to bring off their
His chief earthly possessions consisted j
coup d’etat and there was no king to
of a pair o f slab-sided mules, a rickety !
(TO
BB
CONTINUED
)
put on the throne."
prairie schooner, a wife, four children |
“ I wonder.” I said, “ if anything In
and six hound dogs.
Queen Lover of Cherriea
the way o f a morganatic marriage
The wife, who was a tired-out. faded- |
could be arranged?"
The rich and rnddy cherriea for
"Certainly not.”
which England la famous, were in out creature, complained to lo m i of
“ It's sometimes done.” I said. “ I’m troduced into that country from Flan the ranch hands of the hardness o f her i
sure I've heard of cases.”
ders in the year 1540. The establish lo t; and the foreman took It upon him- j
"Certainly n o t The last king. ment o f their popularity was due in self to remonstrate with ths husband
VYladislawg. was far too fond of that Bo small measure to Queen Elizabeth for his indifference to his wife's wel- I
sort o f thing. His life was a scan who had a great liking for cherries fare.
"The old woman ain't got no kick
dal, and the patriarch was on the ripe. Whereby hangs ths tala o f Sir
verge o f excommunicating him sev Francis Osrew, who delayed the ripen cornin' I" said the husband when h«
eral times. The patriarch holds very ing o f hla cherry tree until a month had heard the foreman'» remarks. “ Shs
strong views on the sanctity of mar after the end o f the season In order ain't got no kick at ail. She's plum'
riage and— and—all cognate
sub that ths cherries might attain matur pampered— m ly «he don't appreciate
ity when her majesty stayed with It none. Why, when we la Axin' ta
jects."
" I f the patriarch Is the sort o f a him. This ha accompllahed by eraet- camp of a night many a time I've drlv*
man who wonld tackle a king.” I said, ing a tent ovar the tree, and o> the tha team half a mile out o f tha way ,
"h e ll probably be able to deal with queen'» arrival ths fruit was at par bo ' s wood and water would ha Land/
Janet Church. Why not give her • faction.
fur the old woman ta fe tch T
Mrs« Hollister Unable T o Do Her
W ork for Six Months
S
’
4p'
dren
CRY fo r
RESINOL
A
L. D. S. Business College
DUUIV3 -** ">»«.
Beecham'g Pills
Regardless
of the car you buy
or the price you pay
There is no greater
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