TROUBLE ON THE HILL
(Nbte: This was written by the
Old Man on the Hill over a year
and a half ago, but in some way
became misplaced and is being
published at this lat date )
By Charley Castnar
Dear Elsie:
I thought I would write and
let you know how Jack was get.
ting along up here on Calamity
Hill. I know you are anxious
about him and. to tell the truth,
I have been a bit uneasy about
him myself for I know he misses
you v.ry much and I have been
afraid his u Tiles would get him
down and discontented so I have
been do.ng my best to cheer him
up and get ins mind off worrying
about you. I know you would
want me to do that and I think I
have succeeded but doing so
brought about other problems
that will solve themselves in
time—I hope.
You see. Ma went to Portland
for a few days visit and left me
and Jack alone on the farm, so
there are two lonesome old bach
elors up on The Hill. While Jack
was b aring up bravely I could
see that if something was not
dene he would be liable to hit
the trail back to Medford so, in
order to cheer him up, I pre
vailed on him to go down to a
dance, given by "The Get Ac
quaint», d Club.” in Vernonia. I
also thought 1 might stand a bit
of cheering up myself for, my
own Squaw being gone, it
never do for both of us
•ur grief for our absent
ones get us down.
At th? time it seemed a grand
id a, but the way it turned out
I somehow have my doubts. One
thing sure, it took our in nds off
our present worries, but brought
on other problems that were
nearer and more pressing. Th-.*
motivating spirit of "The Get Ac
quaint, d Club” was an auburn
haired charmer nam-d Mazie and
in all fairnsss, I must say that
this Mazie p *rson was the con-
solingest iittle bundle of sweet
ness that ever made a person
forget his troubles and sadness;
one look at her symstrical figure
and cr-amy. satin Skin and one
felt that life had not been in
vain and one look from her lim
pid, blue eyes and one felt as
though he had just quaffed a
glass of rare old wine or had a
shot of vitamin G-2.
High away I could see that
Jack was g ad he had com * and,
I introduced him to this Mazie
person, he wanted to fill out an
application for membership in th?
club right now. But he is still
mindful of his former obligations
and told me that he was a bit
forgetful and. if ths need arose,
I was to r mind him that he was
an engaged man; that was a good
idea for he proved to b? the most
absent-minded person I ever
knew. Mazie took him under her
protective wing and proceeded to
help him get acquainted and from
then on he was the chief attrac
tion and was always ■ urrourided
by a bevy of heart-warming
trouble-forgetting charmers and
appeared to be having the time
of his life.
I broks through the circle now
and then to remind him that he
was an engaged man. He al
ways seemed grateful and thank
ed me, so everything was all
right. I was glad to see that he
was forgetting his worry and
sorrow over your absence and
beginning to take a new interest
in life.
He seerr.rd to want to dance
with Mazie most of the time and,
while his terpsichorean efforts
were not the most graceful he
made up in vigor and determina-
tion what he lacked in artistry.
About this time a big logger,
who it appeared, was Mazies’ es
cort to the dance, barged in and
wanted to dance with Mazie him
self; but hs was told that Jack
was a stranger and just getting
acquainted and besides, the Good
Book says ’turneth not away the
stranger, thou may be entertain
ing an angel unaware."
Being thus confronted with the
scriptures, Mazies’ escort was pro
perly impressed and did not ar
gue the question further, although
I did hear him saying something
about getting too blamed well
acquainted "and besides, he don't
look like no angel to ms.” Some
thing in the way he said this
made me think I had better re
mind Jack again that he was an
engaged man. which I did and
he thanked me so everything was
alright again. But I was a bit
apprehensive and was glad when
the dance was over and we could
go home.
It seems that it had been ar
ranged for a select number of us
to go to some club, partake of
refreshments and get better ac
quainted. Mazie started off with
Jack, but her logger friend came
up and allowed as he was her
escort for the evening that he
would take hsr off Jack’s hands.
Things looked ominous for a
minute, but Mazie was equal to
the occasion—said she was so
tired and weak after all the danc
ing that she would feel safer
if she had a big, stalwart man
on each side, so everything was
all right again.
THE
VERNONIA EAGLE
Marvin Kamholz
Editor and Publisher
Official Newspaper of
Vernonia. Oregon
Entered as second class mail
matter. August 4. 1922 at the
post office .n Vernonia. Oregon,
undr th? act of March 3. M579.
Subscription price $3.00 yearly
in the Nehalem Valley, Else-
where $3 50.
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It turned out to be a very de I
lightful party; everyone had a
good time although the coffee
was not as good as Ma makes,
Among the refreshments served
was a kind of temperence drink
called Mr. Thomas Collins. While
"perfectly harmless it seemed to
have the quality of making one
talkative and soon everyone was
holding forth on their favorite
topic. Mazie told how she would
have been Apple Queen of Ne
halem Valley only the judges
were crooked or had been bought
off. Her logg r esc >rt told how
he climbed a fir tree three hun
dred feet tall and cut the top out
of it. I wanted to tell how I won
the checker player championship
of Nebraska but no one would pay
any attention to me.
They were all listening to Jack
telling of his exploits up in the
frozen North—how he pulled a
polar bear out through a hole in
'the ice and then swung him I
around till the bear was so dizzy
that h? would not stand up and
Jack then cut his head off and
everyone had bear steak for din-
ner. Mazie said she just loved
bear stories f< r they made her
fe i scar d and shivery all over I
and when she was scared and
shivery she liked to feel a strong,
protecting arm around her.
Jack obligingly suppli d the
strong, protecting arm. I over-
heard Mazie’s logger friend say-
mg something about how he also
had a strong arm. but it was
liable to be used for something
besides protecting. The way he
said it made m. a bit apprehen-
sive and I rem nded Jack that
was an engaged man. But
time he aid not thank ine.
fact, he acted as though 1
interfering.
All things must end some-
times but w? were sorry when
it was time for the party to
break up.
Mazie was escorted
home with Jack on one side and
her logger friend on the other,
After the good by.s had been
said Jack and I start d to hunt
fur our car. but we couldn't fmd
it. Either we had forgotten where
we had left it or the place had
been changed or something. Any-
how we finally . gave up and
started to walk home.
Jack seemed to be happy and
was singing something about
building a nest somewhere out
West and sitting in it and watch
the world go by. But I did noi
feel like singing. My old, rheu
matic legs were bothering me and
before we came to Calamity Hill
they gave out and I could go no
farther, I told Jack to go on and
leave me there, that he was a
young man and had his life be
fore him while my sands of life
were nearly run out anyhow.
H ? refused and said: "never let
it be said that Jack Young de
serted a pal m time of stress or
danger," that he would carry me
on his back—even as Aeneas bore
old Anchises from the burning
walls of Troy, so would he carry
m? to the top of Calamity Hill.
I was very much touched by
such a noble gesture of devoten
and told him so.
I
I got on his back and started
off up the hill, but after a few
steps, he put me down again—
said that I was too heavy, that
he couldn’t understand how an
old bundle of bones 'ike I was
could weigh so much; that I
must run at least 24 ounces to
the pound. I resented being re
ferred to as “an old bundle of
bones” and told him that 1 had
lots of meat on my bones, good
meat too. I would make as good
steaks as he would, probably bet
ter.
He finally said he would go
back to town and find a taxi, or
something to take us home. That
was the last I saw of him till the
next day. 1 was still sitting be
side the road when Otto Myers
came by in his car. Mr. Myers
works in the night shift at the
mill and gets off work about
three or four o’clock and was on
his way home; he took me on
up the hill and let me off at our
place.
I was still sleeping the sleep of
the just when Jack came home.
He woke me up and told me if I
should see a big logger coming up
the road with a pcavy on his
shoulder that I was to tell him
that he (Jack) had gone to Med
ford and would not be back for
a long time. Just why he wanted
me to say that I don’t know, but
I have long since learned not to
ask too many questions. If this
logger shows up, I suppose I will
do as Jack says for he is really
a grand guy and I like him.
Nevertheless it will be a severe
strain on my conscience to say
that Jack has gone to Medford
while all the time I know he is
out back in the woods some-
where. You s.e. Elsie, veracity
is one of my outstanding virtues.
I am known all up and down the
Nehalem valley as "truthful Char
ley.” Consequently you can un
derstand my reluctance to do or
say anything that would jeo
pardize my standing in the com
munity. So you can tee I am
laying quite a sacrifice on the
altar of friendship.
Anyhow that is the way things
stack up at the present writing. I I
think I have succeeded in get I I
ting Jack's mind off worrying i
about your absence, at least for I
the present
Besides, from all
indications, he seems to have
other problems on his mind that
may keep him occupied for the
time being. Meanwhile you have
no ne;d to worry about Jack, I
will take good care of him.
(Second Note: Charley wrote
the note at the beginning of this
column and what he says is a lot
of hot air! He didn't misplace
it as he says. He just want: d to
write anoth r column for The
Eagle so used the note as an ex
cuse to get it published Ed )
Three Home from
College Studies
BIRKENFELD — Home from
college for the holidays were
G oreianr.a and Norman Miiis
and John Berg.
Russell Stuve and Bev. rlv Clos
ner spent Christ mas with Rus-
sell’s mother in Dallas.
Mr. and Mrs. Frank Turner
stopped in Birkenfeld Saturday
for a short visit with friends and
relatives.
Mr. and Mrs. Don Jensen and
family had Christmas dinn r with
Mr. and Mrs. Cecil Elliott and
family.
Kathryn Elliott spent Christ
mas day at home. She returned
to Portland in the evening. Ann
Wilburn of Portland avcompam -d
her home.
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Ban e r
spent Saturday evening with Mr.
and Mrs. Claude Johnson.
Mr. and Mrs. Fred Wallace ->f
Woodburn ar? the parents
9-pound, 14-ounce boy born
cemb-r 23. They named
Charles Neal. Mrs. Wallace
formerly Beverly Winslow.
’’HE
Hospital Stay End
Improvement Said Siow
BIRKENFELD - Fred White
is home again fr on the hospital.
Reports are he is improving slow,
ly-
Mr. and Mrs. Randy Gatriel-
son and Jimmy ^pent the week
end with Mrs. Adah Hoberg.
Mr. and Mrs Don J nsen and
family spent Sunday in Tigard
with relatives.
Claude Johi in called on Guy
Bellingham Fuday evening
Donald Dell- -ia stopped in Bir
kenfeld Friday enroute to As
toria. He runs a filling static i
in Neyvport.
Out-of-State
Families Visit
MIST —
Clender.an
drove up f:
a week a co
parents. M
strom, for n
are n-
Sale m.
Mr. and Mrs. Chet
and four children
California Sunday,
and visited with her
and Mrs. L. P. Wik.
ally a week. They
from California
EAGLE.
VERNONIA.
ORE.
Son at Home
For Holidays
Mr .and 1 Mrs.
and children of
. and Mrs Frank
lildren visited at
ir. and Mis. Glen
Christmas \ isitors at the home
of Mr. and Mrs. J. M Peachey
were George Peachey of Sun
Francisco and Mr. and Mrs Car-
son Strong and children of Aber
deen, Washington.
Mr. and Mrs. Herbert Olin or
K Iso spent th * week end at the
home of his parents, Mr. and Mrs.
F. R. Olin.
Mrs,
Artie
Buckner spent
Christmas day with her daugh- j
ter and son-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. j
Hill Bond, at Fori :< Grove.
Miss Betty Jane Snook arrived :
Tuesday from Los Angel *s tn
: pend th - holidays at the ho.ae
of her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Vir
gil Snook.
Christmas guests at the Ed
Buckner home wire Howard Run-
THURSDAY, JAN.
1. 1953
dell of North Bend. Mr. and Mis
Everett Rundell and Mr ami Mrs
l • : *
Mr. and Mis. C. N. Rundell
Mr. and Mrs. Iziuis Huntlev
went to Portland Monday for a
check up on his arm and to visit
a few days at the home of Mr
Mrs< Louis Hunt!:
daughter Betty. a>
Breedin and daugh-
Christmas day
late Huntley
. Mary Teel,
TYPEWRITER
for sale
Underwood Number 5 Standard
Typewriter, Reconditioned and
Guaranteed
$37.50
The Vernonia Eagle
Printing — Office Supplies
Telenhone 191
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lb. 83c 2-lb.$1.65
.Wore flavor* Mort enjoyment1 Afore good cup.
per pound! Why’ Because thew coffee* ere
roasted to our order
rushed by truck to
Sefeway before time can rob them of freehne«
end vigor They coet you leee. too Check pncee
end compere We believe you’ll epee that these
fret* coffees offer mere for your money.
ADRWAY
lb. 78c 2-Ib.S1.55
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FEATURE VALUES THAT SAVE YOU MONEY
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'o
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4
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MRS. WRIGHTS BREAD
White or
Whole Wheat
l’/2-lb. loaf
TEA TIMER CRACKERS
Crisp and
Fresh
1-lb. pkg.
36c
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2
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cans
lib.
carton»
29c
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Take advantage of these
PORK
BUYS
Cut from tender young porker»
SHOULDEB
ROAST
lb. 33c
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lb. 39c
Perk Sausage
lb. 39
Bound Steak 8’£ 79c Sirloin Steak«
lb.
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Pot Boast B:id< u». 69c sijce(i Bacon
DEL MONTE — EARLY GARDEN
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Fancy
Quality
Price* •ffectiT* thru Saturday, Jan. 3
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