VERNONIA. EAGLE, VERNONIA, OREGON
BLIND IN UNDERSTANDING
Regrets Should Deter
All regrets are “vain” if they
do not act as deterrents on fu­
ture occasions.
ARTHA GRAY looked at the
two young Union soldiers.
"Remember,” she reminded them,
’TH marry the one who proves the
bravest.”
Joe Brady was big and hand­
some, and a lieutenant.
“Fair
enough,” he said grinning and
turned to Andy, "I hope you'll be
my best man.”
Andy Tait, only a sergeant and
just as handsome, grinned, too.
"Certainly, Lieutenant. Whom are
you going to marry?”
They marched away to the stir­
ring strains of the town band. They
endured two years of mud, rain,
heat, beans and bullets. Then they
came back, each determined to
claim the hand of Martha Gray.
Both had been cited for bravery.
Both now were captains and both
had been wounded. Andy Tait, how­
ever, was unfortunate in his scar of
war. He hadn’t realized a Confed­
erate sniper was hidden in a barn.
He had been too interested in
quenching his thirst with the clear,
cold water of a Virginia well while
they were with Grant’s forces.
Andy had bent over to catch the
cool reflection down the shaft and
at that moment he caught a bullet.
The wound caused a slight limp.
While he walked with some diffi-
fulty, he sat down with much incon­
venience.
• • •
M
As soon as a man begins to
love his work, then will he also
begin to make progress.
There are gifted women who,
perceiving how much the man
who loves them has idealized
them, succeed in living up to his
ideal. Two happy souls!
Making a collection of books is
at least as justifiable as making
a collection of anything else.
Inactivity, supineness, and ef­
feminacy have ruined more con­
stitutions than were ever de­
stroyed by excessive labors.
A Worthy Ambition
Greatest personal triumph is to
make a friend out of an old ene­
my; and as interesting an ambi­
tion as any other.
A boost when needed is better
than a pull that isn’t.
Keep your promises and dis­
charge your obligations.
It happens occasionally that a
man who sees nothing in poetry
but “ingenious nonsense” can’t
understand why he should be con­
sidered foolish by another man
because he enjoys Wagner or Mo­
zart.
Are We Overcharged?
Even our pleasures cost more
than they used to. Many a fel­
low’s idea of a good time is to
pay a $50 fine for 50 cents’ worth
of fun.
“Don’t worry” is a good rule to
offer others; but, like all ad­
vice, they are unable to fol'ow it.
The two soldiers were welcomed
with a dinner at the town hall from
which few were absent.
Martha Gray was there, her face
flushed and looking more than ever
a prize for the better man. Joe
gave them all a round history of his
part in the war, after they had pol­
The man who always speaks ished off a good dinner.
The crowd called on Andy for a
the truth is sure to have other
speech and he stepped from the
virtues.
Fate, of course, is responsible corner where he'd been standing in
for all our failures; but if we melancholy seclusion.
"I guess, friends,” he said halt­
succeed it is by our own efforts.
What ailed the clothing of the ingly, “I ain’t a speech maker. AU
ancients more important than a I can say is, it was quite a war.
run in the stocking of the mod­ Thank you.”
Joe was hilariously happy. He
erns?
looked at Martha Gray in the front
:--------
.
— — row and winked broadly. Andy saw
the wink too and took the opportu­
nity of reaching Martha's side
while Joe was in the midst of an
admiring group.
“I couldn’t teU them about it,”
he said, flushing hotly. “Just you,
Martha. We’re both holding you to
your promise.”
“Certainly, Andy. The truth is—”
she stopped in embarrassment.
“WeU, I—I don’t know what to de­
cide. There doesn’t seem any dif­
ference between you. You’re both
brave. I can’t marry you both.”
Joe was approaching as she fin­
ished. “No need,” he boomed heart­
ily, “no need ay-tall. You think I
told them all about the war but I
ain’t said nothing yet! At Gettys­
burg—”
“Suppose,” she said, intensely
embarrassed by more than one
neighborly ear bent toward them,
“both of you boys come to the
house this evening.”
In the evening Joe wasted no
time in coming to the point He
made himself at home and alto­
gether appeared a fine prospect for
a husband as he sat by the fire,
legs crossed, nursing his wounded
shoulder just obviously enough to
call for attention.
“At Gettysburg,” he said, "we
were charging a nest of field artil­
lery. There were bullets flying all
around. One of them hit my shoul­
der. I was so intent on getting that
gun emplacement I didn’t notice
it.”
“I’m so glad,” she murmured
happily, "that neither of you was
seriously wounded. I’ve wondered
and prayed for your return.”
Joe expressed his thanks for that
and turned to Andy. “Let’s see,”
he said maliciously, "where was it
you got your wound, Andy?”
“I guess, Martha,” Andy said
slowly, “I’d just rather not talk
on it.”
Joe
smiled
victoriously.
He
leaned back in his chair and
seemed generously inclined toward
the world. Martha was obviously
perplexed. “But, Andy,” she ob­
jected, "you boys want me to make
a choice tonight. How can I? You
both were cited for bravery, %oth
made captains, both wounded—”
“—capturing gun emplacement,"
murmured Joe.
Andy flushed miserably and said
harshly, “I didn't do anything
worth talking about. Or I can’t
put it into words. I was in the
same battles as Joe and when he
was capturing guns, so was I. As
for wounds”—he glanced at Joe in
the chair comfortably nursing his
shoulder—"I don’t think they have
anything to do with courage.”
Martha suggested allowing more
time but Joe eagerly pressed her.
"You mean I must answer to- <
night?” she asked, and Joe nodded.
“Well, you’re both brave and fine
soldiers. There is only one differ­
ence in the world," she said, and
Joe leaned forward gleefully while
Andy gave no indication of sensing
the fateful decision. "One is a nice
boy but he’s done little except
boast The other has borne him­
self modestly all evening, like a
gentleman.”
She looked at one apologetically.
“I’m sorry. But you see it does
make a difference. You insisted,
Joe, so I’ll have to make my choice.
If you’ll kindly go now. We have
some things to talk over—Andy
and I.”
Latest Thing in Arctic Sleighs
write "Cuticura,” Dept. 3, Malden, Mass.
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GRIPING OUT OF
PERIODIC PAIN
Periodic disturbance is natural but the stabbin?
backaches, nerve-racking:, piercing. throbbin?
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your happiness, your health demand relief.
When the pain begrins. take two SALICON
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around. Incidentally, it is good for headache?
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i
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CLASSIFIED DEPARTMENT
PHOTOGRAPHY
Roll Developed—11»
or «mailer. *
beautiful enlarsementa from your roll >lo
Wlaeonala rhotoabop, Weal balem. Wle.
Lieut. Martin Lindsay, leader of the British Arctic expedition to
Greenland, which will explore the largest stretch of unknown terri­
tory in the Arctic, and will also be making the largest sledging jour­
ney ever made by a self-supporting party, inspecting one of the new
and modern sleighs that his party will vise in their work. , ”
about
The blind will always be led by
those that see, and he is the most
subjected, the most enslaved,
who is so in his understanding.—
Locke.
ANTA MONICA, CALIF.
So soon as this, with
S
both tickets j’ust put up, folks
l/ion tlw.
already are saying this is start­
ing out to be a bitter campaign
—the bitterest, perhaps, since
away back in 1896.
My guess is these prophets don’t
realize the twentieth part of it I’m
reminded of what
happened when my
old friend. Col. Bill
Hayward, sailed
with his negro regi­
ment for France
during the war.
The outfit em­
barked at night.
Next morning, when
the transport was
well out at sea a
pop-eyed
trooper
Irvin S. Cobb from the interior
South stood staring
at the endless watery expanse.
“Boy!” he exclaimed to a com­
panion, “dis sho’ is one big ocean!”
“Mos’ doubtless,” stated the sec­
ond soldier, “but, son, whut you’s
lookin' at now is only jes de top
layer.”
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Al Smith’s Strategy
S AN old-time headliner of po-
liticai vaudeville,
vaudei
litical
Al. Smith
should have known better than to
pull that ancient wheeze—shooting
at Philadelphia letter carriers on a
Sunday afternoon.
And besides, think of the desper­
ate chance he and his supporting
quartet of sharpshooters took:
come between a mother panther
and her cubs; come between a
Frenchman and his fracas; come
between a radio announcer and his
elocution, but never, right on the
eve of their national convention, try
to come between a flock of office­
holding Democrats and the pros-
pect of four more years.
• • •
A
Trouble of Travelers
UTSIDE the larger cities, when
a hotel manager wishes to show
a special guest special atten­
tion, he assigns him to the bed­
chamber of state which usually is
on the second floor, invariably is
at the front of the house and nearly
always on the corner where elec­
tric signs twinkle till daylight
And along toward 2 a. m. a party
named Dewey, standing in the
street below, will start telling a
party named Pink, about sumpin
mighty comical that’s come up
Sad'day night.
• • •
O
Convention Invocations
LTHOUGH a southerner—how­
ever, not working at the trade
as steadily as some—I have to
snicker when a Democratic senator
walks out on his own convention
because a colored preacher asks
the divine blessing on its delibera­
tions. Which reminds me:
The first time that great Texan,
Jim Hogg, ran for the governorship
his party split The bolters joined
with the Republican outfit—most­
ly black—to put up a fusion ticket
At this pinto convention, the Rev.
“Sin Killer” Griffin, a famous black
evangelist delivered the invoca­
tion. In concluding, he threw an
unexpected bombshell into the pie­
bald ranks by earnestly urging the
Lord to put Hogg in the governor’s
chair.
Terrific uproar ensued. Finally a
dusky stalwart got the floor.
“I moves,” he bellowed, “dat dis
yere traltorsome and on-Republik-
in prayer be expunged from de
record.”
Majestically, "Sin Killer” erected
himself.
“I rises,’ he stated, “to a p'int
of order. It’» too late to expunge
frum de record a prayer which al­
ready dona got to heaven tnore’n
five minutes ago.”
IRVIN 8. COBB.
A
SLEEP SOUNDLY
Lack of exercise and injudicious eating
make stomachs acid. You must neu.
tralize stomach acids if you would sleep
soundly all night and wake up feeling
refreshed and really fit.
TAKE MILNESIAS
Milnesia, the original milk of magnesia
in wafer form, neutralizes stomach acid.
Each wafer equals 4 teaspoonfuls of milk
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STOMACH, RECTAL
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AILMENTS
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BOOKLET.
Dr. C. J. DEAN CLINIC
Physician and Surgeon
N. K. Corner Burnaid« and Grand Avenue
TotopAon« EA»t M19 • PORTLAND, OREGON
WNU—13________________ 29—38
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