VERNONIA EAGLE. VERNONIA. OREGON
AMAZE
A M BY INUTE
SCIENTIFACTS
ARNOLD
THE FEATHERHEADS
By Osborne
© Western Newspaper Union.
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Along the Concrete
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IS LIFE
♦
Bv Charles Sugli roe
And Stay Put All Night
“What do you take as a remedy
for your Insomnia?”
"A glass of wine at regular Inter
vals.”
"Does that make you sleep?"
"No; but It makes me content to
stay awake."—Humorist (London).
TOP AND BOTTOM, THEN
“I love you from the bottom of
my heart."
"Why make that distinction, when
It Is so small that top and bottom
are Identical."
Leftover«
Tourist (In museum)—What’s In
here?
Guide—Remains to be seen, sir.—
Answers Magazine.
WRIGLEY’S
SPEARMINT
T h * PERFECT GUMr
THE FLAVOR LASTS
WHY THE FUSS?
LATEST SHADES
In the days prior to 1860 the
whaler was in bls prime. Whaling
vessels were equipped for long voy
ages. often being away trom their
home port five, seven, eight and
even ten years.
A story Is told of an olr’ whaling
skipper all ready to leave on a
voyage. Just as they were about
to sail his mate tapped him on the
shoulder and said, "Sorry, captain,
but your wife Is crying her eyes
out on the dock.”
“What's the matter with her?”
“She says you didn't kiss her
good-by.”
“Well,” said the captain, “1 am
only going to be away tor two
years.”
"She has a good face.”
"The best the market affords.”
TOODLE-OOI
“Why didn’t you return Charles'
ring and presents.”
"1 regard them as spoils of war j
taken In my first engagement."-
I
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