VERNONIA EAGLE, VERNONIA, OREGON
S’MATTER POP
By C. M. PAYNE
\VNU Service.
SUCH
IS LIFE
By Charles Sugliroe
Eye to Color
An attractive young movie ac
tress was driving her new car when
something went wrong with the en
glne. The traffic light changed from
green to red and back to green and
still she could not get the car to
budge. The traffic cop came up.
“What's the matter. Miss!” be
inquired. "Ain't we got colors yon
like!”
Facing Competition
“Are you going to speak over the
radio!”
"I am,” answered Senator Sor­
ghum. “1 am aware of art com­
petition. But 1 am still confident
that my Ideas on the welfare of
the nation are as important as
toothpaste or shaving cream.”
A
New Name Now
Mrs. Cassidy—My bosband calls
a spade a spade.
Mrs. Garner—So did mine—until
ne took one and started to spade
op the garden and it broke In two.
—Pathfinder Magazine,
I
Take Another Look
Speed Essential
Suspect—Well, boy, what are you
looking at me like that for!
Zealous Boy Scout (on guard at
a reservoir)—Please, sir, we’re look­
ing for a foreign gentleman with 50
tons of chemicals concealed on bls
person.—Pearson’s Weekly.
Mother—It says here In the pa­
per that they have found a sheep
In the Himalaya mountains that can
run 40 miles an hour.
Father—Well, It would take ■
lamb like that to keep up with Mary
uowadays.
Unreasonable
Idolatry
I^m Higgins—What's Ixtvlnla up
to now. Ma! 1 just seen her spread­
ing mud all over her face.
Mrs. Higgins—Why that’s beauty
clay she's puttin’ on to make ber
look pretty.
"Are you an Idol of the masses!”
“1 hope not," answered Senator
Sorghum. “An Idol Is supposed to
be a piece of statuary that can't
say an Intelligent word In bls own
defense.”