VERNONIA EAGLE, VERNONIA, OREGON
S’MATTER POP
By C. M. PAYNE
AMAZE A MINUTE
SCIENTIFACTS
BY ARNOLD
WNU Service.
Events in the Lives of Little Men
WAFFLES
Along the Concrete
Little Maurice, being fond of waf­
fles, was busily engaged in buttering
IMPRESSIONISM
the one his mother placed upon bis
"You ought to know a great deal plate and, without looking up, said:
"Please pass the waffle juice.”
of politics by this time.”
"I try to pay attention," answered
Domesticity
Senator Sorghum. “But I'm afraid
"Would you marry for money?”
I'm getting to be like a whole lot of
“No,” answered Miss Cayenne,
people who are Influenced not so
much by what they know as by what “that Is, not too much money. A man
who is constantly being Investi­
they suspect."
gated is sure to spend time away
from home and be Irritable at break­
And One Is “Stung**
fast.”
Mr. and Mrs. Barnes had been dis­
cusslug an arrangement which ini
Aching Foot
plied the exercise of the “give and
Villager (proudly displaying par­
take" theory.
ent to a visitor)—Aye. she's goln’
"You know," declared Mr. Barnes, to live to be a centipede, baln't you
“that it always takes two to make a
ma?
bargain."
Mother—Ob. go on with you. You
“Yes," returned Mrs. Barnes, “but wouldn't say so If you 'ad my feet
only one of them gets it."
Their Position
Not Bad
Man—What's your Idea of an ideal
place for a vacation?
Friend—A place where the fish
bite and the mosquitoes do not,
and where neither the bees nor the
hotel keepers sting you.
Miss Quizzer—What makes the
wolves In that cage howl so?
The Attendant — They're hungry,
miss. They always howl while the
other animals are feeding.
Miss Quizzer—Oh. I see! They're
the cabaret performers.