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PAGE SIX, VERNONIA EAGLE
Junior Prom Is
Grand Success
On Friday Night
Good Attendance From County
High
Schools;
Supported
By Local Students
VERNONIA HIGH SCHOOL SECTION
RHYMES BY KUGE
The spring rains are now begin­
ning to fall,
And it’s keeping the students
from playing ball.
Today’s topic for the Kard E
Club’s debate
Was why homely teachers are
now out of date.
Bobby King says that if this was
the case;
He knows some teachers who’d
lose their place,
But Bobby goes on and s'"s
without a frown
That the teachers in our school
are the best in town.
Harold Cason, if he had his way,
Would play hookey every
day(?).
This school will soon have a large
zoo,
For I’ve seen alligators, dogs,
cats, and monkeys (?) too.
There goes somebody letting out
a big shout—
Now I’ve forgot what I was
going to write about.
The success of the Junior
Prom surpassed the committee’s
wildest expectations last Friday
night when it was given in the
Washington grade school gym.
Last Friday night was the first
time the outside high schools of
this county were invited to at-
tend junior proms at Vernonia
andi some of the schools had a
fine representation here.
The
prom was equally well supported
by the students of Vernonia, the
alumni and the faculty.
This was also the first time
any admission was charged. Only
the juniors and seniors were ex­
FOUR TEACHERS GO
Baldi: Well?
empt from this fee and about
Groda: We must get rid of him.
TO CANNON BEACH
$40 was taken in.
Baldi: Why?
The gym was beautifully decor­
Groda: He is ruining our busi­
ated with ferns and colored
Four high school teachers, Miss
ness. He charges only 50c per Bolton, Mr. McEntire, Mr. Mills
lights.
Splendid music was furnished reading.
and Mr. McCrae were included in
Baldi: What of it?
by the Derby Boys’ orchestra
the party of the Vernonia teach­
Groda: Can’t you see? He will ers and their wives that went to
from Portland.
take all our trade from us.
Cannon Beach over the week end.
Baldi: Us? Or you?
THE UNKNOWN QUANTITY
The party left this city Satur­
Groda: Both of us.
day morning. They spent the time
Baldi: How do you figure? You
Beside a classroom’s shiny desk have all the trade now since your digging clams, swimming, skating
and horseback riding. They re­
A lonely freshman stands,
prices are lower than mine.
turned Sunday night.
And say, a mighty boy is he
Groda: Yes, but don’t you see
With large and sinewy hands. he will get all the trade from us
His hair is crisp, black and long, and we will starve.
His face and neck well tanned,
Baldi: I’ve been starving now
To look at him would make one for a long time. I can starve a
think:
while longer.
The heighth of Earl King’s
Oh boy! Now what a man!
Groda: But what will happen
ambition is to be a jailor and you
to me?
ought to see sim swing his keys
And on this shiny classroom desk
Baldi: You will starve too.
A sheet of paper lay,
Groda: Well, listen, you egg— now.
It contained unfinished algebra
Boyoboyoboy about 15 or 20
If you weren’t so blamed stub­
He’d been working at all day. born you would help me get rid years from now this country is
And while the tears coursed down , of this guy.
going to have the most prosper­
his cheeks,
i Baldi: Oh, I don’t care about ous farms in the world, judging
(He sure was feeling blue)
..... at all. I’ve just
_ _ lowered
______ my from the speeches the agricultur­
him
He said he d worked at it 3 days, price
49c, lower than either ists have been giving recently.
And part of three nights too. of
of you.
vou
Talk about being a lady s man!
Groda: I’ll lower mine to 45.
Bob Kilby takes the cake. For
It made me sad to see this boy,
Baldi: I’ll lower mine to 40.
about three days the high school
So large and strong was he,
Groda: I’ll cut to 35.
girls have been chasing him all
Give up and cry, when he couldn’t
Baldi: 25.
over the school. That’s wnat he
find
Groda: 20.
gets from exposing some women’s
The unknown quantity.
Baldi: 10.
traits of character. He claimed
The teacher came to help him out
Groda: I’ll do my work free.
there would never be a woman
And said,
Baldi: From now on, I pay my president of the United States
straight!
customers 50c for every reading because no woman would ever
The unknown quantity is there, I give them.
admit that her age was 35.
And X will equal eight.”
Groda: Good bye, then, if that’s
The other day in chemistry
—By Hazel Tomlin. the case. I refuse to take part in
class, Verne Baker was talking,
this reverse auction sale.
and talking and talking and fi­
Mrs. Dickson (Allie Simmons)
.
uauy saiu
umi 11c
said that
he vuuiu
could get ** a
former graduate of Vernonia, vis-
Mrs. Kenneth Bell
( °U.u_ I nally
still and run off a batch. The
ited the high school last Thurs­ , Whitsell) of Vernonia, and Julia
teacher told him that he wished
day. Mrs. Dickson has been living , Banzer of Mist, visited the high
that he would get still.
in Alaska for the past year.
school last Friday.
Miss Crary doesn’t know yet
whether it was a cow or Holly
Holcomb that made that funny
noise in English the other day
Don’t get th» cow mad.
The juniors were surely glad
Parlez-vous français? Nay, nay, French out of the text, and some that they could get out of a little
of their own ideas.
Chevrolet coupe.
school when they were preparing
Talk about the original ideas for their prom, But when they
Yes, the first year French stu­
and imaginations you have seen
dents had just begun to believe nor heard nothing until you try came back. Oh, why do teachers
compel one to make up their
that they could read, write and to translate one of their stories
back work?
speak French quite fluently un­ written in French. And the way
Miss Jeanne Hughes politely
til the teacher last week asked the words are written! Shakes­ informed this column that she
peare
’
s
works
are
noted
for
their
everyone to write an original
numerous
interpretations and was not practicing snake charm­
French story.
| their difficult reading but these ing the other night. The snake
The students thought that it i themeS have Shakespeare • beaten charmed her. Just a slight mis-
take.
would be like eating pie but af-(40 different ways,
Mr. McCrae was stung on the
ter they got started—it was pi, Shakespearean French! That’s
leg the other day by a bee and
teacher
just
what
it
is
but
the
all right—Mrs. Newlywed’s pie.,
doesn’t mind. She has waded. almost died. The bee died.
Just as Mrs. Newlywed invented fought and struggled with Shakes- I Mr. Mills while showing his
a new way of making grindstones, • peare and Maupassant for a long fellow teachers how good a jockey
these French students invented a time so correcting the French he is suddenly found himself
new laguage composed of English, themes is not as hard for her as riding on his head. You guess
the rest.
Swine Latin. Caesar Latin, a little one might expect
Important Items
Shakespearean Freneh
FRIDAY, MAY 4, 1934,
May Day Festival Is
Scheduled for May 11
ORCHESTRA REPORT
Main Event of Afternoon Will Be
Coronation of Queen; Play
Clara Wold with her shiny trom­
bone
Certainly can pump a musical
tone.
She puffs and blows and blows
and puffs
Until she says “I’ve had
enough.”
Elbert Brock and his little tin
horn
Always practices from night
’til morn.
He skips the sharps and misses
a flat
And his brother says “Don’t
ever do that.”
Jeanette John who plays the clar­
inet,
Has a scowl on her face as
black as jet.
She goes too slow and then too
fast
And is always through the
very last.
To Be in Evening
According to the committee in
charge, there is every reason to
believe that this year’s May day
festival will be worth anyone’s
time to attend. The affair will
take place May 11, at 1 p. m.
The main event in the after­
noon will be the coronation of
Queen Katherine Dowler. There
will also be some musical enter­
tainment and a baseball game
that afternoon.
The main event of the evening
will be the senior play, “Tiger
House” in the Washington grade
school.
“Tiger House” Nearly Ready
The seniors are putting the
finishing touches to their play
“Tiger House” which is to be
given on the evening of May 11.
Some stage equipment has been
recently received from the pub­
lishers of the play and the cast is
about ready to use it.
Ruth Epping has a lovely groan­
AGRICULTURE SPEECHES
board
ARE GIVEN
That squeaks and rattles like
a model T Ford.
The agriculture class has fin­
She raises her arm in a grace­
ished reviewing the text and dur­
ful curve
And starts out of tune with ing the last few days five-minute
talks on any phase of agriculture
daring nerve.
were given by the students.
From now until the end of the
With three more trumpets and year, the class will be studying
another violin
Oregon forestry.
We surely can make a terrible
din.
The pianist, the director and even
a sax
Complete the group (those are
the facts).
I’ve criticized severely and I do
feel ashamed;
So I will remain forever un­
named.
Someday when you really want
to know
Just tune in and hear me on
the radio.
Weeping Cow
New Addition
To Menagerie
You go to circuses and see
and hear the singing muie, the
whistling pig, the howling hyena,
the elephant playing a trumpet
solo but it is not necessary to go
outside the schoolhouse to hear
the weeping cow. The cow really
didn’t weep but it certainly bawl­
ed and bawled and bawled.
The other day the English in-'
structor, Miss Crary, was making
an assignment. Just before com­
pleting it, a cow, a block or two
away from the school house,
howled at the top of her voice.
The teacher stopped, became
rather rosy looking behind the
gills, then, the class, seeing her
embarrassment, roared, and haw-
hawed with glee, hoping that the
teacher would forget the assign­
ment.
After the laughter subsided, the
teacher informed the students
that she had not forgotten the
assignment.
Bees, yellow-jackets, alligators,
dogs, cats, moths, mice, cows—
now what?
Phone 191
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