VERNONIA EAGLE
Thursday, January 12, 1927
THE CACTUS FLAT CATAMOUNT
VOLUME 1
DEADLY RIVALS BREAK
SOLEMN XMAS TRUCE
Cayucos Sam and the Siskiyou
Kid, who had been sworn enemies
ever since the Kid took up his
abode in our midst several months
ago, became fast friends on Christ­
mas day, owing partly to the spirit
that invaded the universe on that
day, but mostly to the mellowing
influence of a bottle of Rattlesnake
Ike's aged in the bottle liquor. But
their friendship was broken in
twain this week when Cayucos was
telling one of his whopping yarns
while trapping in the Canadian
woods, when he spent a couple of
years up there some time back.
Cayucos was going good, and
catching everything that wore fur
or horns, and was selling the pelts
for as high as a thousand dollars
apiece when the Kid butted in.
“I s’pose you was trapping for
bear,” insinuated the Kid with a
smirk.
“Naw,” answered Sam, contem-
puously. “I was trapping big game.
1 baited my traps with live grizzly
bears.”
The Kid got mad at the laugh
that went up from the numerous
bystanders who didn’t have any
business of their own to attend to,
and were taking in everything Cay­
ucos said, and when the laughter
subsided the Kid was so red in
the face that he couldn’t think
of anything else to say but to call
Cayucos a liar, which is not con­
sidered etiquette in this neck of
the woods, and when Sam reached
for his gun, which he didn’t have
on, the Kid beat it hurriedly for
home, which is the woodshed out be­
hind the Catamount office, and
which the Kid rigged up a stove
in and put some colored pictures
on the walls to make it real cozy
and homelike, and he wasn’t seen
on the streets until the next day,
when he would have another notch
on his gun before night. When
Cayucos heard that the Kid was
after his skelp he said that didn’t
worry him none, as there was a
pine box out behind the dry goods
store which would just about fit
the Kid. Sam said his trigger fin­
ger was itching anyway as things
were getting too tame lately and
he advised the friends of the Kid
to get everything in readiness to
attend a funeral at which the Kid
would be guest of honor, but they
both quit talking when they found
that people had lost interest in
their row and our little city has
slipped back into it- usual routine
of absolute torpidity.
LOCAL NEWS
Cube Root, who quit smoking a
few days ago, was seen searching
around in his back yard this morn­
ing, where he was successful in
finding his pipe.
Constable Twist Newton arrested
a herd of sheep today for obstruct­
ing traffic.
The village souse took a load of
corn to the county seat Tuesday
and returned with a load of rye.
Sycamore Slim writes that the
residents of the charming little
frontier village of Los Angeles wer«
afforded an opportunity to view
their city for a few moments Mon­
LAURENCE LOCKNEY, Editor
NUMBER 33.
day morning when the fog lifted. who are connected with the big
Bill Smith, hero of the late war, i oil companies, and he also picks
who beat his sword into a plow­ I up quite a bit of information from
share, is wondering how he is ' tourists who have their cars filled
at
his
going to get it back into shape with sparkling gasoline
acoutered
again before it is time to use it. beautiful and daintily
Scotty Macpherson says his Eng­ i red, white and blue station.
lish is imperfect, but at that it
SOCIETY PAGE
is not as vicious as Rattlesnake
Miss Halitosis McGuire gave a
Ike’s Scotch.
slumber party last Saturday night.
Centipede Clark, who has been | Covers were laid for six.
absent from our midst for several
Alf Stude was taken suddenly ill
days, is out on bail.
Tuesday evening
while
drinking
A copy of the New Ford was on from a bottle.
display in Sparkplug Sparks' gar­
age this week. It has several new I PROSPEROUS FARMER IN
FROM COYOTE GULCH
features, but no change was made
Snoot Simpkins was in this week
in the honk.
The chiropractor was called over from Coyote Gulch, where he owns
from the county seat this week a farm which is mostly rocks, and
to straighten the spokes in Cube which never yields anything but
pesky weeds, but you can't keep
Root’s bicycle.
Scotty Macpherson has been suc­ a dry land farmer from planting
cessful in trapping a glow-worm, another crop, and Snoot says he
which will be used to heat his will start his spring plowing as
soon as he can get his crowbar
bathroom.
Jeff Jones, an aviator in the sharpened.
late war, who recently made a
non-stop flight over Alkali Lake
is preparing to leave for New York
City, where he will put on a
parade.
Greasewood Slim writes that Sam
Francisco was wide open on New
Year’s eve, but no one seemed sur­
prised.
SCIENCE AND ART
The human race came into ex­
istence 16,000,000 years ago, says
a scientist; but
Bearcat
Boone
says congress can revert further
back than that.
Archimedes Puck has developed
into a cubist artist since he got
the contract to varnish the meat
block in the butcher shop at Whis­
key Slide.
HAMP JIGGS ENTHUSED
OVER PROSPECTS FOR 1928
Hamp Jiggs, who runs the local
filling station for Mr. Rockefeller,
spoke encouragingly of the finan­
cial outlook for the year of 1928,
which recently made it baybew in
our midst, taking over the books
for the old year, which went out
of business.
Hamp says fluctuating currency
is partly responsible for the advent
of good times which are threaten­
ing to absorb the country, calum-
nated by the roseate future for
record smashing crops in the south­
ern states and throughout the mid­
dle west.
Capital, he says is loosening up
a bit, also the splurge in that di­
rection has not yet hit Cactus Flat.
Banks are loaning with more ease
than formerly, he avers, except to
those who need money. Stocks and
bonds have hit the upgrade, signi­
fying a great relapse of normality
among the well to do on Wall and
Brad Street, where money changes
hands with a frequency that is
sometimes alarming in the extreme.
Various indications, according to
Hamp, tend to prove that the year
of 1928 Vill be one of the most
prosperous and resourceful years
of recent date, which is not saying
much.
Hamp is in a position to know
what is going on in the world, as
he is in touch with men of affairs
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
Department of Agriculture
Press Service
A New York farm woman learn­
ed to clean her sewing machine
and put it in good running order.
Then she made pin money by over­
hauling the machines of her neigh­
bors.
For the past two seasons of
trapping, the fur catch ‘ in this'
country has declined at an alarm­
ing rate. The 1925-26 catch was
20 per cent less than in the pre­
vious year and in the 1926-27 seas-
on the decline was even greater. I
Federal-aid road projects com­
pleted during the fiscal year end­
ing June 30, 1927, increased by
more than 8,300 miles, the mile-,
age of improved roads in the Fed­
eral-aid
highway system,
and
brought the total length of roads
improved with Federal assistance
up to 64,209 miles.
A student of home economics
has calculated that dishwiping in I
an average family is equivalent to j
wiping as much space as a three-
acre field. Proper scalding and a
good dish drainer saves this use- '
less work and allows an average
of 20 minutes a day of leisure fori
the housewife who follows the eas­
ier method.
If the dairy herd is culled in­
telligently on the basis of indi-J
vidual cow records, if the remain-.!
der are fed according to kno\vn ’
production, and if only good pure­
bred sires are used, . almost any
dairy herd, regardless of its con­
dition at the start, will eventu­
ally be raised to a plane of good
production. Successful dairying de­
pends on many factors. Among
these, culling is one of the most
important.
Among the succulent roughages
pasture and silage are of most Im­
portance. Dairy cows always do
better in early summer when the
grass is plentiful and green. Be­
cause of the nutrients and succul­
ence that it provides, silage is the
most economical winter substitute
for pasture grass. Good cows will
produce more and therefore cheap­
er milk if given silage or some
other succulent feed during the
winter.
By F. O. Alexander
Western Newspaper Union
THREE
A daily ice service was inaugurat­
ed last spring throughout the Ohio
River Basin by the U. S. Weather
Bureau. It includes the larger trib­
utaries of the Ohio, the Missouri
River east of Kansas City and the
Mississippi river from the mouth
of the Missouri to the mouth of
the Ohio river. The information re- ■
ceived and the forecasts issued will
be broadcast by radio, published in
river bulletins, weather maps and,
newspapers, and telephohed to lock
masters along the Ohio river. Spec­
ial reports of the formation of ice,
gorges will be made.
Reports on gasoline taxes show1
that the Distriit of Columbia and to nearly 5,000,000,000 gallons,
all but four of the states levied' __________
gasoline taxes in the
first Bix
months of this year ranging from
1 cent to as high as 5 cents a
gallon. The total of taxes collected
after allowing for refunds was
slightly more than $100,000,000
collected from users of nearly
4,000.000,000 gallons of gasoline.
The four states that did not tax
gasoline — Illinois«
issachusetts,
New York, and New Jersey—are
estimated to have consumed 947,-
000,000 gallons bringing the total
gasoline consumption used for mo­
tor vehicles in the first six months
Reward Offered
For Diamond Ring lost on
December 23rd at mill.
Finder please return
same and receive
Substantial Reward
Ernest Herman, Box 296
Miller Mercantile Company
INCORPORATED
STORES AT
STORES AT
CORVALLIS
HILLSBORO
NEWBERG
SALEM
SHERIDAN
VERNONIA
M c M innville
MONMOUTH
Our Grocery Department
Is Forging Ahead
Miller’s know the grocery game and you who buy your groceries from Mil­
ler’s can vouch for the savings you make by doing so.
We are steady on the job. No spanmodic spells overtakes us; Our prices
are right all the time. We don’t have to put up bait every so often to
keep the crowd coming; they just come all the time.
i
Get the Habit! Come to Miller’s for your Groceries.
r
;
..=■=
—»=
-
Strictly Fresh Ranch Egg
_40c_________
Queen Anne Flour 49 Lb. Sack
$1 95_________
IV1. J. B. Junior Coffee
45c_________
====
' - - ===== ■
kk.u.-'aa
■
Kelloggs Corn Flakes 3 Packages
25c
M. P. B. Rice 2 lb. Pkg.
25c
Standard Corn 2 Cans
Standard Peas 2 Can
_________ 25c_________
25c
2 Packages Shredded Wheat
_________ 25c
Solid Pack Tomatoes, 2 Cans
25c_________
Best Creamery Butter
50c
3 Packages Post Toasties
25c
2 Packages Kelloggs Pep
25c
Money back guarantee with every purchase.
Vernonia’s Leading Store
Nehalem
Butter
50c
Vernonia
Bread
10c
Figuratively Speaking
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FINNEY OF THE FORCE
By F. O. Alexander
© Western Newspaper Union
Buddies