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About Vernonia eagle. (Vernonia, Or.) 1922-1974 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 24, 1927)
VERNONIA EAGLE TWO Thursday, November 24, '1927, to speak, bud, and then throw him clear to London for the latest and of his crop but from the heft of in jail besides. most up-to-date figures on beans. the sack he would judge that he VOLUME 1 LAURENCE LOCKNEY, Editor NUMBER 26 Rattlesnake sold the Siskiyou Kid Mr. Squills has put in a great has* somewhere in the neighborhood a quart of homemade Scotch a few deal of manual labor and hard work of sixty-five pounds. EDITOR IS ASTOUNDED ED HOW IS ALWAYS RIGHT | in the high mountains without even weeks ago on credit, and it is sur- in the matter pf rearing his crop Cliff Gilmore heard today that “A boy, taught to play the piano, radio connection with the outside mised from his pertinent and lm- j schedule of bean prices in vogue BY ART AND RAW JOKES outgrows it, if he is any account,”, world. The boys have plenty of pertinent remarks that he has been1 of beans to full maturity, and the his brother-in-law over at Whiskey The editor of The Catamount was says Ed Howe who runs a newspa- grub to last for several months, and making a verbal effort to collect Catamount is in full accord with Slide had butchered a beef for thrilled almost to the marrow when with an occasional squirrel for fresh for same, but without tangible re- his businesslike method of attempt household use so Cliff is packing he witnessed the new show called per out in Kansas. Eddie Is right, meat, they will have the pleasure of suits. his family up and will go over and ing to dispose of the crop for visit for a couple of weeks if ev- “Gay Paree,” or something like and it is a lamentable fact that each other’s company for quite a Paderewski boy never did out- that enough to leave him something to that, while sojourning in the city LOCAL NEWS erything goes well. spell, for the snow was pretty deep last week. He was extremely daz grow it. The dentist broke a valuable pair fall back on. Mr. Squills has har The Siskiyou Kid, who has at last reports and if history re- vested his beans and beat them out zled practically to the point of SHOE CLERK FAINTS WHEN | peats herself it will be several feet of pliers the other day pulling a of their shells with a club whittled notches on his gun, told the dumbfoundism by a group of young MYSTERIOUS SHOPPER SHOPS deeper in a short time. They will, front tooth for Bearcat Boone’s front out for that purpose, and the beans sembled citizenship out in what ladies on the stage who were sweet office last night the post While shopping for a pair of shoes both probably be needing a haircut sorrel horse. ly garbed in dainty breechclouts, in the county seat last Saturday, pretty bad by the time they get out Mescal Bill has had his fiddle are today reposing peacefully in thought about Cayucos Sàm and with the reminder of their powder- Miss Tootle Tatum decided to take in the spring, which is some dis- returned and will open the dancing his cellar awaiting only a word from then went home and filed another ed anatomy exposed to the en- the first pair which she was shown. \ tance off as we go to press, and an season as soon as the rheumatism Mr. Squills to send them on their notch on his gun. I journey to distant ports. trance gaze of the audience, but The clerk collapsed and was sent to old copy of a mail order catalogue,, leaves his patting foot. Mescal Bill has been right busÿ this didn’t seem to bother the the hospital. Mr. Squills states that he has no Old Quib Skills says one half tire | which Kem Hedge said was the only beautiful damsels any to speak of, Please turn to page 5 thing they had in the way of liter world should know by this time that accurate knowledge of the tonnage1 as they seemed to enjoy showing HECK TOMBS ALMOST ature, will undoubtedly get to be[the other half is living beyond its themselves as much as the audience SELLS ANCIENT FL1V ! rather “ stale reading before thp income. enjoyed to be shown. It is the kind Last Saturday while Heck Tombs spring thaw starts. CACTUS FLAT CITIZEN of show that hitherto has been was visiting and sojourning in the ESCAPES DEATH AT HANDS confined to the big cities of the little frontier village of Los An- I SLAB TOBINS LOSES FORTUNE OF SPEEDING TRAIN east, but that kind of a show is geles 1 he was looking about for a I THROUGH SHEER POVERTY Ellis Poppin nearly had a fatal now spreading its wings over the place 1 to park and he happened to [ Slab Tobins received a neatly wide west and it won’t be very long see a sign on a vacant lot which worded letter from an oil company accident the other day when his until we of the great open spaces said 'Park Here.” Heck drove his this week, which promised marvel- car stalled on the track. If the' will be educated up to the point car onto the lot and a man stopped out dividends in case oil should be train hadn’t passet by three or four where we will haunt the theatres him and said: “Two-bits for the struck, but Slab didn’t have the ten hours before his mishap, dire con-' sequences might have resulted. Ladies’ Pouch Bags, Under-arm Bags, where nodeness is the chief part car, sir.” | dollars necessary to share in the of the program, and we will en- CLIFF GILMORE WALKS OFF Heck jumped out and replied: good fortune. Vanities, in different colors and designs. deavor to appear as highbrow as “Mister, you’ve bought a car,” and WITH HANDSOME PRIZE possible on such an occasion, the held out his hand for the two-bits. RATTLESNAKE IKE YEARNS While rummaging through an an- while we prefer to the exhibition as FOR GOOD OLD DAYS cjent trunk several weeks ago,'Cliff After much arguing Heck learned Rattlesnake Ike, who has been[ Gilmore came acrogg an o!(j .jrl(]le “art.” that the man was trying to charge hvmg in and around Cactus Flat so tagse]j which he entered an(J tooR The jokes in the show are model him two-bits for parking the car long that he has become to be|firgt rize at the chrysanthemum ed upon the sewer type of archi on the lot, which was one of those more of a landmark than a vrtal . w at whisR slide. tecture, and got over big, as they places where cars are parked at so necessity, got up on his high-horse [--------------------------- were so raw that they were under much per park, and when Heck fin the other day, when he happened( EBENEZER SQUILLS TO stood by the mother as well as by ally got it through his head what to get a good audience of two orj INVESTIGATE BEANS the daughter. The jokes, and nice, was wanted, he cranked up his car three prominent citizens who didn’t! Will Scour Markets of the World smutty stories, however, really are and left that place, as mad as a ■ have anything to do but listen to I To Find Best Price for Crop not Parisian at all. Some of them hornet. -•■A him, and he orated somewhat pro-1 Of Frijoles were the old, stories that the boys I miscuously for fifteen or twenty Ebenezer Squills, one of the most POLITICIAN BAFFLED BY told in the back-room of the saloon MEANING OF NEW WORD minutes on the glories of the good progressive dry and wet land farm- many, many years ago, and were quite ers in this favored section of the1 Wiley Hawse writes that the best'»1'1, d.ays_7he^. «^,7 just as familiar to the men in the a law ....... unto himself, and the devil, hemisphere, is leaving no boulder little towns of the west as they brains of both parties are busy in I " as ' he so ponderously quoted, take unturned in his efforts to obtain were to the men in the big cities Washington these days trying to the hindmost. Whether buying leather goods for your | data leading to information which figure out what the word “ choose ” of the east. when will enable him to secure the high own convenience, or as Christmas gifts, He said that in those days means. It is really only through the a man got ready to go out and mop est market price for his crop of our newly arrived complete stock offers broadmindedness of the great Am- TWO HAWLEY BOYS up the landscape with a galoot he pink beans, which he has so a pleasing variety from which to choose. WILL HIBERNATE had a grudge against there was no sidously salvaged from thé, as erican people of the Twentieth cen- I tury that such a classic as “Gay Word has been received in Cac one to say him nay, nor even to might say, soil. Mr. Squills has Paree” is allowed to fester and ex tus Flat that Bud and Jim Hawley, inquire what it was all about, which ceived communications from all pand until it erupts in the heart who have been doing some heavy was much better than the things western markets, besides which he of the public conscience. Broad and light timbering up on Goose we have to put up with now, for has written to New York for the mindedness, of course, is that char creek, failed to break camp before when a man puts on his war paint in that far distant city, and if the ming culture which allows a as the snow started to fall on wings today and goes after his victim, New York price doesn’t correspond sembly of men and women to laugh i of gold a few weeks ago, and they there are always two or three dep to what he thinks he ought to get heartily in gay unison when a dirty are now in a position posiiivu to lu spend spenu the vue uty sheriffs and a constable ready for his beans, he states that he will I story is told. i winter in their log cabin away up to nip his little romance in the, so by heck, turn pro-British and send THE CACTUS FLAT CATAMOUNT Leather Goods and with ivory sets, As low as $3.95 Mac’s Pharmacy Circus and indoor Carnival SPONSORED BY Vernonia Post of the American Legion DEC. 8. 9 & 10 IN NEW LEGION HALL Circus Side Shows Spanish and Hawaiian Dancers Days of ’49 Revived Something Doing Every Minute Dolls, Indian Blankets and Aluminum Ware Stand DANCING EVERY NIGHT—Popular girl Contest All entries to contest must be in by Saturday, November 26. Time—Lots of Fun for Everyone SXwwiS