Place Your Ad Here
■ •
but I must draw the line at a frog
eating LIVE BEES. Up here in Ore
gon it rains nine months in the year
and during that nine months the
clouds hide the sun all the time. The
other three months the sun is so
mildewed it can't shine and it is
never hot enough up here for a man
or a frog to get crazy with the heat
, and eat bees, but sometimes a man or
a frog will slip on account of the
road being so muddy and one time I
slipped an SAT on a YELLOW
JACKET, and 1 know I’d never eat
a bee and I know a frog would never
eat a bee because-a yellow jacket
is just about half as big as a bee and
if a 1-ee, bee-ing twice as big as a
yellow jacket, is twice as hot I know
mat that frog of yours if he hud
eaten even one bee would immediat-
ly hop in one grand hop to Oregon
and put in all his, time after tee got1
here drinking the rain as it fell try-:
ii ; to put out the fire raging in his
.innards. Hoping you are the same, Il
am Yours very truly, The Colyumist!
• • *
Pungent Paragraghs
By E. E. Hayes
THE PLANERMAN'S BAND.
Talk about your ’cello
Or the violin,
Or anykind o’ thing
There’s any music in,
Talk about your string bund
Or slide trombone or flute,
Any sort of footer
That you know how to toot.
But ‘tain’t no use talking
Don’t say nothing to me,
I have my planer-tune
With its "whoo-ong Whee-ee.”
1 can shove in a board.
Maybe a one by ten,
And push in the button
And you should listen then.
She starts off real slow
And then begins to sing
And turns out melodies
As sweet as anything.
Wow!. A knot comes along,
Then it’s "whow-ee-ee Whow,”
And the planer-boss shouts
"What the hell’s happened now.”
CITY HOUSEKEEPING.
Almost anyone is quick to condemn
a careless, slovenly housekeeper, but
very often the same person who
would criticize a housewife for per
mitting her home to remain untidy
and unkempt will pass right by and i
never see trash and refuse on side-1
walks, in streets and alleys.
The|
community housekeeping is consid
ered a criterion of the character of
its people, and an up-to-date, clean-
cut, progressive community takes I
pleasure in making of itself a spot- ■
less town as much on account of en
joying cleanliness as for the compli
ments of visitors and prospective
citizens.
* *
At once she gets going
And she toddles along
Making such sweet music
With the “Whoo-ong Whee” song
Now hits a curly board
With all the speed she has.
You oughta
Holy- sntoke-
Just listen to the jazz.
But when op. B and Better
Tis music soft and sweet,
The blowpipe a-picking
Up the shavings so neat:
We then do classic music
Like rippling of the brook.
Planer-boys seem dreamy
Most everywhere you look.
There is a natural tendency on the
part of beauty and industry to seek
pleaant and wholesome surroundings.
Did you ever see bees and butterflies
hovering over a spot where only1
skunk-cabbage grew?
• • •
My planer’s doing music
And its best that I know,
Better’n all the string bands
Or the things that you blow.
Talking of real music
Why the planer’s “whoo-ee,”
The planerman’s meloday,
Is the sweetest to me.
• * *
YOU
CAN’T FOOL
PEOPLE.
ALL
THE
June 26, 1925
Mr. Dick Wick Hall,
“W’here She Danced.”
Salome, Arizona.
Dear Sir:
I have been reading in the Satur
day Evening Post about a frog that
w»s hatched out. by a hen from an
egg that was found on the deserUand
I have been reading so many things
about the wonderful stunts that frog
has pulled, that I am beginning to
have my doubts as to the authenti
city of these stories.
Of course I
know that the HEAT at Salome will
make anything do almost anything,
The source from which we sprung
is not so important as whence we
are springing.
* •
The man who makes a monkey out i
of himself must be an involutionist.
* * •
When the top of a man’s head j
shines it does not always follow that
that man is a bright fellow.
« « •
Once upon a time there was a
Straightforward and Upright Citi-'
zen who didn’t Steal and who Put a
Quarter in the Contribution Basket,
when he Went to Church, And Ac-|
cording to the Story that is Handed
Dow n, this Upright Citizen Purchased
Necessities and Truthfully Reasoned
that he Would Consider the First
I
Cash he got As Property of the
Man from Whom He Obtained the
Necessities. But When He Got the
Municipi! Watet System
VERNÖNIA EAGLÊ
?
a child could grasp the greatness reaches far above the confines of
a city limit.
. —
of the Creator’s handiwork.
Toney Corey has his new “fire
If public spirited men und o ,
Dr. E. T. Mathis’ on the public
«
proof’’ shoe shinning parlor up and schools und present method of teach are to be critixed for securing''
in operation. You’ll find it on the ing was fine, entertaining and edi- tertainment for the Public. Then
south side of Bridge street and
the inoentive for betterment will die.
cational.
service is first class. You can select
Of course, we have movies in
(A Subscriber to Chautauqua)
red, white or blue or any color you
Vernonia, but are they strictly ed
choose, and for a few cents, those
ucational? The public wants u chan
old shoes will look like u million
Killing the weeds is the principle
ge nt times, o we ha,| the Chau-
iron men.
Upper Nehalem
tauqua. As for Chautauqua takin:; object of cultivating row crops such
th«- money out of town—you might as corn and potatoes, says G. R.
i
A SIGNER S STANDPOINT
SMALL GIRL SHOT BY BROTHER
as well say we must not buy ail auto Hyidop of the college experiment
from miles away from Vernoiui. station, since weels are the principal
The little 6 year old son of Mrs.
Cultivation,
Money must circulate or this worij wasters of moisture.
The
guarantors
of
the
Chautau-'
A B. Spitler accidentally shot his
many
persona
think,
is
chiefly to
Nearly all we eat and wear come
little sister, Abiah May, age 8 years qua for 1925 ask sympathy from
stir up tn- ground to give the roots
will
stand
still,
last Sunday in the legs and before no one. The only rub was the lack as they come from distant states.' a chance to spread and to hold mois-
the little girl could be rushed to of co-operation of the business in '
We must look forward for the tur.e
Forest Grove for medical aid died terests. The general public saw our
Cultivation that goes no deeper
entertainment
of our children as
motive and respond. When we af
from loss of blood.
than
is necessary to get the weeds is
they
are
the
future
men
and
women
fixed our signatures to the con-,
When It goes
tract to have the Chautauqua come to keep up progress. We must not the most successful.
ROBBERS MAKE GOOD HAUL
much
deeper
than
thin,
it not only
count
dollars
und
cents
when
we
to our town we knew we would have
costs
more,
but
ntuy
do
considerable
look
for
the
betterment
of
our
sons
Burglars entered the bunk houses a deficit and would have to go
of the Sunset Lumber camp Thurs down in our geans and subtract the and daughters. The future men and( damage by bringing moist earth to
surface and by snipping off
__ ______
day night about midnight while the lucre to make our pledge good. We women are to be the directors of the
the
world
’
s
progress
to
perfection
|
many
of the feding roots,
When a
occupants were asleep and stole 7 1 d>d not look at it as a financial prop-
watcres and between $600 and $700 osition. Our sole motive was to have so their minds must be pregnant potato or corn field has a loose dry
belonging to the men.
a clean and educational entertain with better things. Not the daily layer of soil on top and is free from
ment for our town and community rumdrum of existance, but un un weeds there is nothing to cultivate
Little Miss Lottie McKinster re According to our motive standpoint bounded expanse of education that
turned home after a three weeks1 it was a success.
Of course, we have two bands in
stay in Portland with her mother.
i
town, nnl they are a pride to the
Eila McKinster was the guest of town, They do fine for the short
his parents Sunday, Mr. and Mrs. I while they have been practicing.
Ornduff.
Yet sometimes comparisons are odi
ous. When comparisons are made
Mrs. Orah Smith has move«] into , between amateur bands and pro
her new home at the Ohler mill.
' fessionals. A band that has held
Mighty interesting and always boosting
forth in the largest cities in the
for the Nehalem Valley. By all means take
The Ohler Brothers are sawing United States.
shingles at full blast
the Vernonia Eagle as your “Home Paper.”
The two plays were good. The
Send us a news item. Let us mail you the
Climax and Bubbles have been play
This is good weather for haying' ed to full houses for weeks in our
paper every week; send in communications.
and everyone up this way is taking great metropolises. The lecture by
It is only $2.00 per year—mail your name
advantage of it.
Dr. Carpenter was fine, his scien
and address today for a year’s subscription.
tific knowledge of Astronomy and
Mr. and Mrs. Jack Britton are go mastery of the english language
We want you among our family of Readers
ing to leave our neighborhood and
was grand. The vivid picture he drew
plan on taking up their residence at gives one an insight into the un
Manning.
limited grandeur of the universe and
the infinite God, and how man has
Miss Sybal Ornduff has returned
I progressed in scientific researches
to her home after a weeks stay in His lecture was drawn so plain that
Portland visiting with her sister and
attending the rose show.
Cash he Happened to Think that he'
Would Enjoy a Little Trip and he
Spent the Money That Belonged to
the Other Man. This is a Very Pe
culiar Story, but This Happened Five
Hundred Years Ago Before People
Hud Clear Conceptions of Right and
Wring.
GET ’EM SHINED
I
J
-♦ I
VERNONIA EAGLE
Mr. and Mrs. A. J. Winicke
spent the evening with the Ornduff
family one day last week.
Ernest Worthington was a recent
visitor in Vernonia.
Vernonia
Owned
KINGSLEYS
Mrs. Vada Rainwater had com
pany from California last week.
Mr. Ornduff is still geting out
poles. He recently sold five hundred
to one firm and has several car loads
to get out yet and some more rail
road work.
Oh, so good- Those cream puffs
filled with real cream, at the Ver
nonia Bakery.—Adv.
■
Arriving
MANY NEW SPECIALITIES FOR THE HOLIDAY
Men’s Summer Work Shoes, all leather.......... ...........
Men’s Heavy Rubber Sole Summer Shoe, U. S. Brand
Men’s Hickory Shirts, were $1.25. Now
Men’s Ties, many patterns- cut silks, a close out
Underwear, Shirts, 50c Drawers, 50c Unionsuits .
Boys’ Overalls, Men’s Dress Hat s, Now.............
CROWN
FLOUR
DEL MONTE
FLOUR
WON with ZEROLENE
ctyictnofy
Gf Why pay tribute to a superstition<
Tillamook loaf cheese..
Coffee
Fancy Mixed Cookies..
Unconditionally Guar
anteed, Undenieable the
best coffee sold. Try a
pound.
Violet Romanzo
Toilet paper 22 rolls $1
Peter Pan
Queen Olives lg. btle 25
ZEROLENE
Pineapple, 3-lg cans.....
............................ $1.00
XL-0 Breakfast Food..
................................ 20c
Large Jar Chow Chow..
.... 25c
Shrimp, 2 cans .. .......35c
Peanut Butter, pound ..
Royal White
SUMMER SAUSAGE
Genoa Salami
B. C. Salami
Cervelat Thuringan
................................ 23c
Certo, 2 bottles .... 65c
5 stitch broom ... ...... 75c
Mothers Oats pkg.. 38c
$1.00
1 Shopping Bag
Bananas, 3-lbs
................................ 38c
Sweet Pickles, pint 25c
»>
27 bars
................................ 35c
Stuffed Olives lg btle 30
All 10c Sellers
NOW
4 bars
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
The Rollin and all other
cars in the run used Red
Crown gasoline exclu
sively—the best buy in
town—by MILES!
Hotel Benson
Fairy, Castile
When Zerolene brings in the Sweepstakes
Winner of the most competitive motoringevent
of the >car—when it is the choice of more
motorists in the Pacific Coast states than any
other oil made—won’t it pay you to use Zero
lene— a better oil 4ven if it does cost less?
........................ $1.98
$2.50
......................... 98c
........................... 49c
...................... $1.00
$1.00, 2.00, $3.00
and Monday Specials!
Sapona Carrara
The Los Angeles-Yosemite Economy Run
of May 22-23—the ranking stock car event of
its kind in the United States, gave motordom
new official mileage records to vie for — and
another impressive victory for Zerolenel
The Rollin, lubricated with Zerolene, car
ried off the sweepstakes—winning the award
for the highest efficiency and gasoline econ
omy established in the run. Piloted by Joe
Bozzani, the Rollin’s gasoline economy rec
ord for the 360 mile run from Los Angeles
into the Sierras to Camp Curry was 27.43
miles per gallon of gasoline.
«047
0/«*l
TOILET SOAPS
OF THE LOS AN GELES-YOSEMITE ECONOMY RUN
QQr
15c
Corsets—different styles—priced at only............... ....................
Odd Lots in Shoes—they must be sold, priced........................
Saturday
SWEEPSTAKES
Quality
Service
.. Price
Edam Cheese
Roquefort Cheese
Swiss- Nippy, Pimento
MORRELLS FANCY
Com fed, Sugar cured
Watermelons
New Spuds,
4c
Bacon
Quality - Service - Price