THE MAN WHO NEVER SWEARS.
VALLE OF BRAINS.
This ofl’ec was in need of a mailer, Lut
I’ve often wondered how he feels,
instruments such as are in general t -e
When troubles come his way.
When every thing goes wrong, ami clouds were too high in price for u<. Seeing the
advertisement of a new’ patent and very
Obscure his sunny day;
cheap we ordered one. W hen we opened
For instance, when a gust of wind
the pill-box and examined the mac hine
Takes off the tile he wear.%
we in voluntarily ejaculated “sold.’’
I wonder what he thinks about,
Indeed we would have parted with it
The man who never swears.
then and there at
| er cc nt discount,
Or when to make a business trip
but we read the directions ami experi­
He hastens through the rain,
mented with the seeming toy.
It gr.nl
And gains the station just in time
ually rose in value and i y two hour?
To miss the morning train;
it had reached par and is still a going u; .
How does he feel as in the west
Really it was not the machine alone
The express disappears?
for which the price was asked, but th»-
I wonder if he thinks bad words,
brain work of the inventor. W ell, whv•
The man who never swears.
shouldn’t a man have pay for exerc ising
his brains in inventing any labor savim
The world is full of trying scenes,
implement? This reminds us of an im i-
No matter where you go,
clent that well illustrates this point.
The truly good are tempted sore,
Something got wrong with the water
As you, perhaps, may know;
pipes connected with the steam engine c i
And when I find him vexed and mad
a large factory. The work was in a rush
My sympathy he shares,
and to shut down even for a day would
For I imagine how he feels,
cause a loss of several hundred dollars.
The man who never swears.
As a last resort an expert mac hinist
— Cincinati Times.
and all-round genius was called in. Hr
removed the obstacle in a way that no
PLENTY LEFT OVER.
one else knew how to do and in five min­
I n a certain church in Ireland a young utes had everything in running order.
His bill was $25.50. Though some
priest was detailed to preach. The oc­
casion was his first appearance, and be what astonished at the amount, the pro
took for his text ‘ The Feeding of the prietors paid the* bill but out of curie sitv
Multitude.” He said: “And they fed ten asked why he made* it just twenty tiv*
dollars and JiJty cents. The reply w «•
people with ten thousand fishes.’’ An ol<l that he charged fifty cents for his w««i I
Irishman said: “That’s no miracle; I e- ami $25.00 for ‘knowing how.” As hr
gorra, I could do that myself,” whic h the had saved the company many times that
priest overheard. The next Sunday the sum, they could not complain. It is sa id
priest announced the same text, but he that one invention of Edi on s has -aved
$1 .>.000.01)0 to the I'mhd St.it«- ah nr.
had it right this time.
He said: “And
Sir Humphrey Davy Lv the in\a ntic n t
they fed ten thousand people on ten 1« axes the safety lamp w is the means < f -aving
of bread and ten fishes.”
He waited a thousands of lives and untold milli« i -
Sur»!
second or two and then leaned well over of wealth to Great Britian
the pulpit ami said: “And could you do brains some brains arc valuable and
we should not grumble at pax in.: a i< a
that, Mr. Murphy?’
sonable royalty to inventor.*.
Hence
Mr. Murphy replied: “Ami sure, your forth our subscribers w dl sec th« ir addi» -
reverence, I could.”
neatly print« I on i' •• n h -io < i the N« >
“Ami how could you do it, Mr. Mur­ but they needn’t fee1 at a'l -<-iiv l’« t u
when . they
are told that «<• I i av • at hart
•
phy,” said the priest.
L>OO iht «»-nt royalty f« t fl«t- ma« h a
“And sure, your reverence. I could do
that «Iocs tl.c work.
W« arc willing !.»
it with what was left over from la. ( Sun pay for brains.
day.’. (ilemlulf lincim'l.
<r