Image provided by: Talent Historical Society; Talent, OR
About Talent news. (Talent, Or.) 1892-1894 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 1893)
TALENT NEWS. VOL. ?. The TALENT NEWS is published the 1st. and 15th. of each month. EDWARD ROBISON, E ditor . SUBSCRIPTION RATES. One year............................. Six months........... . ........... Three months................... . 25 cents, I of a dollar. Two bits. Entered at the Talent Post Office as second class mail matter. A PHILOSOPHER. Zack Bum stead uster flosserfize About the ocean an’ the skies, An’ gab and gas from morn till noon About the other side the moon, An ’bout the natur’ of the place Ten miles bc-end the end of space An if his wife she’d ask the crank Ef he wouldn’t kinder try to yank Hisself outdoors and git some wood To make her kitchen fire good, So she c’d bake her beans an’ pies, He’d say, “I’ve got to flosserfize.” And then he’d set and flosserfize About the natur' an’ the size Of angel's wings, an’ think an’ gawp An’ wonder how they made ’em flop. He wondered ef ver bored a hole flight through the earth f’uin pole to pole An’ she’d trip and stumble through, The best thing you had oughter do. He’d calkalate how long a skid ’Twounl Jake to move the sun^hedid, An’ if the skid was strong an’ prime, e I It could’t be moved by supper time. An’ w’en his wife nd ask the ¡out Ef he wouldn’t kinder waltz about An take a rag and shoo the flies, He’d say, “I’ve gotter flosserfize.” Ef we fill’d travel out er time. An’ ef we’d need w’en we got there To keep our watches in repair. Then ef his wife sh’d ask the gawk Ef he wouldn’t kinder try to walk To where she had the table spread An’ kinder get his stomach fed He’d leap for that ar kitchen door An’ say, “W'y didn’t you speak afore?” An’ w’en he’d got his supper et, He’o set an’ set an’ set an’ set, An’ fold his arms and shet bis eyes, An’ Bet an, set an’ flosserfize. — Oregon 1 ndepeicdent. It seems now to be the exception to bob! a social dancing party in this neigh borhood without having in attendance one or more “gallant” young men win» come prepared to make themselves a dis gusting nuisance. Do these youthful inebriates imagine they are eievuting themselves in the estimation of people who have respect for decency? Are the} by such a course elevating themselves in • their own estimation? We should sug gest that each of the youthful whiskey guzzlers of Talent and vicinity proceed at once to organize himself into a com mittee of one for an hour to carefuilv• consider this matter. Let him get right down to business and reflect seriolislv• upon the subject; then let him be candid enough to make his conclusion known to the public. This would be fair. If he concludes to go right on in the un even tenor of his way ami continue indulging in “good times”(?), the rest tin* commun ity will cease to hope for his reform ni d will know just what to expect. Oil the other band if a careful consideration • ’ the matter enables him to see himself a- others see him ami is followed l»v an earnest resolution to “right about, win it will be well with him here and lien after and very gratifying to the commui it * v. An’ so he’d set an flo?serfize The N ews , About the • verth an ’ sea an' skies, * The N ews , An’scratch his head and ask thecaiis»’ The N ews , Of w’nt there wuz liefore time wnz; The N ew *. An’ w’at the universe 'nd do * Bimeby w’en time bed all got through! is the place to get job printing done. An’ jest how fur we'd bev to climb
