LAUGHED AT SEAL HeH-Diver” Refused to Figure on Pursuer’s Menu. Curious Spaed Contest Reported by Nature Student, Who Witnessed the Incident, on Maino Coast WOMAN’S LOVE DEMANDS AU Uncle Watt’s Writer Denounces the “Life Imprison­ ment" Which Confinement in Zoo­ logical Garden Means. Mrs. Newbrido Had It All Figured, to Her Own Satisfaction, at Any Rato. "Yes, It does, as you say, give rath­ er an uir to the flat,” agreed the al- uioat new husband. Hla wife had tent­ ed herself on the arm of his chair sur­ veying their latest acquisition, tbe baby grand piano, which filled three- fourths of the living room. “And now If we only had one of those nifty one-arm floor lamps," mused the almost new husband's bride. “Why, Bettina, it was only yester­ day that you argued tlie pluno would finish the room without buying un- other thing," protested the almost new husband. “That wng one of the ar­ guments you used to wheedle me Into buying!” "Well, of course, It saves us buying a luscious blue plush bed-davenport, or a gruceful chaise loc.gue or a library table,” she defended. “Thera simply Isn't room In this apartment for much It really Is an besides the piano, economy in the end. But a lamp is different. You know that a grand pl- ano is not complete wlthout a floor lamp. Aud while we are at it we might as well get one of the newest kind. Just think how cozy we would look with you sitting peacefully under the new lamp while I play to you ev­ I ery evening!” “Hum!” groaned the almost new husband. "The next thing you'll’ be telling me that a grand pluno requires an oriental prayer rug under the ped­ als, a Persian scarf thrown across ths bench and a vase of dollar-H-smell roses in constant attendance. I’m rather surprised that you haven't men­ tioned another apartment with a pi­ ano room for your pet!” "It would be nice,” agreed tlie bride fulling to note the touch of sarcasm in the voice of her husband. Then she rallied her forces once more. "But think how much money it will save us on movies. By staying home to play and sing we save—let me see— exnctly 66 cents u day!” “By the way,” said the almost new husband, “we mustn't forget our serial on Friday night. Last week left Harry Hairbreadth In an uwful fix. Do you think the pluno would mind If we left It alone Just once?” “Oil, I guess not," answered Betty absent-mindedly, Then *he launched her finnl attack, “You know, Billy, I can't expect you to give up going out entirely, at least until I learn to play better. I have heard of a splendid teacher nt $10 an hour and I really think, to be worthy of such an Instru­ ment, I should take lessons!” “It's not the original cost. It's the upkeep!” said tlie almost new husband. “Come along, my dear, to tlie movies.” MAN’S CRUELTY TO ANIMALS What every woman want» more than anything else In the world 1» absolute dominion over one man. There 1» » pemllarly vamplsh trend In feminine love which takes the form of demand­ ing entire ponaesslon of tlie creature ujsin whom the affections huvo been fastened. Every woman want» to feel that, no matter what his occupation—be It tbe most engrossing business or merely a game of golf—she is ever the com­ jielllng note at the back of ber man's head. He must not forget her for a single Instant, and he must be regret- fully conscious that nothing 1« quite satisfactory, lacking the saving grace of her presence. And she requires continually to be assured of this. She believes that in hoarding her perpet­ ual recollection he holds a talisman rendering him Immune from the attrac­ tions or blandishments of all other women. It is difficult for the feminine men­ tality to grasp the curiou* power of detachment of the masculine, A worn- an cannot comprehend, much less sym­ pathize with, that trait by which a man can divest himself completely of any thought of her while absorbed in I something else. A man’s mind—and this particular­ ly refer» to the man of many serious interest»—Is like a number of com- partmentx, each sealed from the other and docketed as to content». While he 1» in one, he shuts out everything I pertaining to any other. A woman has not thia capability of | detachment. Whether she Is playing bridge or apparently obsessed with some knotty domestic detail, she is always subcoriHclouBly aware of the one. The retentive quality Is the pre- vailing characterfstlc of woman. It Is at once her greatest strength and her greatest weakness—she cannot bear to let go. If she sees the flame of a love on the wane she tries frantically to restore It to Us full force. A man faced with tlie Mime contingency Is apt to be more resigned—or brutal— and makes haste fo finish completely the cooling affection. A man likes to do a thing, have done with It, and consign nil memory to oblivion—to wipe the slate clean and lie ready for something new.— May Isabel Fisk in the Continental Edition of the London Dally Mall. "Purely as a matter of ethics, aboli­ tion Is the ultimate logic of all zoo­ logical gardens.” Such is the opinion of a writer In the Nation of London. “Animals have committed no crimes against the community,” he says, “and therefore the community has no right whatever to give them life sentences of imprisonment.” A very few of the larger animals, he admits, may affect human life Injuriously, but they form an Infinitesimal portion of. the Inhabi­ tants of a zoological garden. On the other hand, It is argued that we never thought of confining those animals be­ lieved to be the most injurious, namely Insects—nnd therefore It is plain that “the punishment does not fit the crime.” Even if it were granted that animals are happier In captivity than in their native wilds, this can only be meant relatively, fof though protected and cared for, animals in captivity are de­ nied the primal joys of liberty and fit­ ness to environment, among such jobs being their power of exercising their suppleness of body or strength of witig in graceful movements, and not least of all Joys, the power of satisfying their continual curiosity. Much has been done for animal», and much more might be done for the wild birds. For the eagles, hawks, condors and vultures the writer feels that nothing can be done. He quotes from that great lover of birds, W. IV. Hud­ son, to whom the sight of any bird In a cage, be It robin redbreast or bird unknown to William Blake, literally sets him In a rage. He has some­ where described a sermon he heard on genius. In which the preacher likened the life of the ordinary person to that of the cannry In Its cage. But of the genius—“A cloud enme over hl» (the preacher's) majestic features, he drew himself up nnd swayed his body from side to side, nnd shook his black gown and lifted his arms as a great bird lifts Its plumed homologues, and let them fall again two or three times, nnd then ¡add In deep measured tones which seemed to express rnge and de­ spair—‘But did you ever see the eagle In his cage?' ” The brooding hopeless gaze of those stern eyes offers only o-ie solution to the aquiline problem, the key» of the city of the air. Report of the condition of the TILLAMOOK COUNTY BANK at Tillamook in the State of Oregon, at the cl.'BJ of business April 28, 1921. Resources fathers of men Loans and discounts ----------- - —...... —-------------- Overdrafts, secured and unsecuiel --- -------------- Bonds and warrants ......... ................ .......................... Stocks, securities, judgments etc.. ------------------ Furniture and fixtures ....................... ........... .............. Other real estate owned .......... - - ------------------ Due from banks (not reserve oanki. ------------------ P"-e f:S^i approved reserve buiiki ------ --------------- And other cash items ---- ------------- Exch^Kes for clearing house ... -.......... ------------ Cash oil hand ................ -.......-................................ ...... Customer’s liability account of "Acceptances” ._ Other resources ___________ _________ ___ 7—------ Total ................ -....................... ...... Seals are quick of movement, nnd gxrwa HERE I s much truth in the old anyone who ‘ ‘ has ever watched ______ _____ them 1 saying, 'As the twig is bent, so feeding cannot but marvel at the speed the tree inclines,’ ” observed the re­ with which they dart about in the tired merchant. “If a boy Inclined water and the apparent ease with to crookedness grew up to be a which they are able to overtake their and reliable man. It would be nothing prey, says a Bulletin of the American short of a miracle. Game Protective association, and like­ Therefore I trem­ wise there are few duck hunter* who ble for the future have not had the opiiortuulty of wit­ of Spoonable’s nessing the speed of the grebe, com­ boy, William Hen­ Liabilities monly known as the hell-diver. He ry. He seems to can easily protect himself by divlug Capital stock paid in ......... . .......... ---------------------- -.. $49,00).Oi) be just naturally and swimming under water, and "light­ Surplus fund ... ......... -..... ........... ....................... vicious.” .... 10,000.00 ning is slow as compared with the “You're full of rndivided profits, less expenses and taxes paid ....... j.554 ll speed with which a tell-dlver sub­ excelsor,” said the Due to banks and bankers-------------------------------- -— 6,1.13 71 merges when lie sees the flash of a gun hotelkeeper polite­ Individual deposit;! subject tc, check-------------- ••• 336.137 16 beaded in his direction.” ly. "All those Demand certificates of deposit ----- --------------- --- Which of the two is quicker in the ----- 2,192 59 chestnutty old say­ water becomes a nice question, to the Cashier cheeks outstanding .. ......................- ings are fakes. ----- 6,389.5$ discussion of which Arthur L. Pennis The patriarchs Certified checks ------------ --- ------------------------------ -------- 49.70 man contributes the story of a con­ usejj to be t^lways Time and savings Deposits------------- ------------------ 18 >.379.92 test he witnessed on the Maine coast. saying that the Notes and bills rediscounted ................................... ... 218.564 46 Tn the Penobscot bay region, between boy is the father of the man, but he Ellis payable for money borrowed ............ .............. a seal and a pied-billed grebe, when —.. 15,800.00 isn’t; and he isn’t grandmother to the each contestant was apparently doing "Acceptances” of this bank ................... -.... —.......... .... 43,000 00 man, either. You can’t study a boy his best, 'the seal looking for his Other liabilities __ and predict what sort of a man he’s ......... 155.03 supper and the hell-diver intent on going to be, any more than the official Total _ ___ ___ ______ -- 896,821.51 seeing that he didn't make up the forecaster can examine his maps and State of Oregon, County of Tillnm 00k, ss. menu." charts and tell us what the weather I, B. L. Beals Jr., Cashier of the above named bank, do solemnly «wear “While we were engaged in atudying will be like tomorrow. the habits of a fish hawk,” Mr. Penni­ that the above statement is true to the b:st ot my knowledge and belief. “You observe that my larboard eye man writes, "our attention was at­ B. L. BEALS Jr., Cashier. is somewhat discolored and I have a tracted by a great coinmotion In the contusion on my brow, and my nose Subscribed and sworn to befcj me this 6th day of May. 1921. I water off shore, From our blind we is slightly out of alignment. Yester­ F. B. McKinley, Notary Public, could see that the splashing was day f was pfrootlng along a back street Correct Attest: caused by a seal performing the most on n little errand, when I beheld a curious antics in his attempt* to catch H. T. BOTTS big, husky teamster pounding the saw­ a bird which we later identified as a I David Kuratll dust out of a venerable horse that had pled-bllleil grebe. D. FITZPATRICK seen better days. I went up to him "Tlie seal made rapid progress, por­ and protested in the most courteous poising in nnd out of the water In way, and he said It would afford Kim quick diving leaps und was fast over­ genuine pleasure to kick my sp|ne up hauling the bird, which was swimming through my hat, if I didn’t go my way frantically to escape his pursuer, but, and leave him alone. I informed him however, made no attempt to fly. Af­ that if he hit that horse again I ter n stralght-away race of some fifty would push bls countenance out of yards or more, It seemed as If the place, ttnd he immediately clubbed the chase was over, as both bird and seal suffering animal harder than ever. disappeared in the same splash ns the “I am glad to say that I succeeded senl struck tile water. When the in kicking most of the rind off the splash subsided we saw that the grebe teamster's shins before he got me had cleverly dodged to one side mid. down and sat on my head, but I sub- after twisting and turning quickly Every Man to His Trade. mit that a man who will take such around a very small circuit to elude A devoted couple, married a short chances as I did must have the cause the Beal, he headed strnight for shore. time ago, took up their abode in a of cruelty to animals much at heart. Succeeds in Molding Basalt. “The bird now began to use Its The common volcanic rock known dainty cottage in a suburban quarter. There’s nothing makes my blood boil wings, nnd, skittering rapidly over the ns basalt ennnot tie easily shaped with Everything in tbe house was tlie lat­ quicker than to see an animal abused. water, soon distanced tlic seal, which “Well, when I was a boy I had a chisel and hammer, but Dr. Rlbbe. a est and gave uninlxed satisfaction, continued the chase until within 30 French experimenter, claims much But one evening when the husband wide reputation for erueity. I used feet of the bench, where the water success for ids method of shaping by returned he found, to his disgust, that to delight in tying tin cans to the was no more than knee deep, House of 1,000 Rooms. a water pipe had burst. The rooms tails of dogs, and 1» drowning cats, “There he sat with his shoulder* out A maze which forms a happy hunt­ molding after It hus been n :4ted nt were flooded and the carpets, which and in robbing birds' nestA and all of tlie water, watching the grebe as ing ground for robbers, Is the house about 1,300 degrees Centigrade. His the Intter ran along the edge of the formerly occupied by the ministry of first product wns n glnssy substance, were the husband's special pride, were such sinful pastimes-. The moralists of that period agreed1 that I wm en­ shore. Then, as though he hated to war in Vienna, says h correspondent. which he has since been able to in danger of being spoiled. “Well, well,” said he impatiently to titled to the mantle of Nero, and that give up his meal, he slowly pursued The great size of the thousand roomed change to the crystalline structure of the bird on a parallel course In the house evidently attracts the attention the original rock by a devitrifying his wife, “why on earth didn't you I would come to a bad end. Yet when The rock which has been hammer the pipe up! Here, give me I became old enough to have some water, paying not the slightest atten­ of thieves mid the military mid police process. melted nnd molded Is found to be su­ a hammer nnd I'll do It in a twink­ sense, I made pets of ail the dumb tion to the men on the beach until lie seem unable to keep them out. Or­ critters within eight miles. was frightened off by our intervention naments, pictures, typewriters, every­ perior to the natural basalt In resist­ ling." “If that old maxim about the twig He got the hammer and pounded ance to scratching nnd wear, nnd it In the contest.” » thing and anything, even to the door proves to tie especially desirable for away at a pipe down in the cellar, and the tree were nny good. It ought knobs and knockers are constantly be­ such purposes ns paving, curbstones When he had finished he paused to to work both ways, and the saintly boy D»v*toplnp Guatemala. ing carried away. When a thief, In It can be shaped with examine the result of his labor. Then, always would become a grand, good President Herrera ofGuateiniiln, has' the courr.« of his wanderings, meets and stairs. undertaken to Interest ftuelgn capital anyone, he simply pretends to have great smoothness nnd exactness. As to his complete chagrin, he heard the man. But as a rule the truly good In the development of some Ifi.tkK) come on business, nnd goes on until he the material Is i ot nttacked by aclt’s. sweetly chiding voice of his wife at boys don't amount to tnucii In after life. Nearly all our useful citizens square miles of unexploited territory comes to nn unoccupied room, there It Is suitable for vats for chemical the top of the stairs. "Howard!” said she, “the gas has were hard citizens when they were In Guatemala which still awaits the he quickly gnthers together anything use; nnd it Is also an excellent elec­ hand of the pioneer and the Invader be can lay his hands on, and departs. trical Insulator, und a useful sub­ gone out, and the water Is still run­ boys, and the shlftle»-«, no-account men were simply angelic when they went to transform it into productive fields. Tn many cnses the robbers have an stance for firmly fixing metallic posts ning." t Then he Rent lor a plumber.—An­ to school. A • the first step he has created a new accomplice in the street to whom ar­ or other fittings In place by using as I “A boy gets tired of being immacu­ a hot paste. . «were. department of agriculture with a min­ ticles are thrown’from the window. late after he has tried it a few years, ister in his cabinet and has appointed and be goes to the other extreme. Danger In Unclean Dishes. Unfortimate Apology. as head of thia department Antonio Crom-C»lyr»d Mol»». lust how serious Is the danger of A certain editor of a country news­ And tbe boy wlio has been a horrible Bouscayol. It Is rather curious to find dead action from lmi>erfectly washed paper In Kamfits was asked to l<*ave example ever since he left tlie cradle Both the president and the new min­ moles lying about dykesldcs when ister have devoted the main part of mole-fur price» are so high, writes a dishes in eating places has not been the community az the result of a typo­ gets sick of that sort of thing when he their Ilves to agricultural development correspondent from Scotland. I crossed determined, but the high count of graphical emu In his rejiort of the has cut his wisdom teeth, and be be­ and are therefore keenly Interested tn a field, and at the exit I counted uo bacteria left upon restaurant utensils wedding of the mayor’s daughter, re­ comes so virtuous that there’s no lin­ providing encouragement to tbe farm­ fewer than 22 moles In a heap. These suggests unpleasant possibilities. In lates Pep. After exhausting his sup­ ing In tbe same block with him. “Meet of the old sayings are fool­ I ers and planters. Both realise foreign biid evidently been thrown there the investigation of Roy S. Dearstyne. ply of large wo» such aid must be expected as a re­ what may be called the unique in of w?»lch one used a modern elcrtrlf i punk." sult of diffusion of the knowledge that moles. A gardener had trap|>ed four dishwasher. The bacteria on hntol- The mayor denierxted a correction they have clinched an argument when dpatemala has a safe and sane govem- of these rodents of a decided cream washed coffee mugs from different and apology tn the next week's Issue. they drag In a bewhiskered maxim. In order to show that Spoonable's boy | mqpt, la a fit place to live In nnd has color. No portion of the luidles gave lunch morns ranged from 26,090 fo all of which "lie editor was glad to is foredoomed, you spring that oldl J 290.000 ; on water glasses, 23,000 f» promise. The aext lt«ue contained: I mufti territory a* yet undeveloped. signs of normal cohiring. The gar- wheeie about thg^twlg and the tree. '- 130,000; spoons, 3,400 to 70.000»;: “We wish to apologize Ibr the man­ dener said he surmised there were Na Ifen^Fakra Alike. knives. l.lWO to 20.000; forks. I,»** ner in which w the people of the .............. 263 it Are you flat-4voerformanee this and giving a holiday every ten days. Surplus fund .................. ........................ ......................... i rhythm. be higher than the yield of beet sugar And He Meant It, Too. ........... 280.H Undivtdei profits, less expenses nnd taxes paid year, In the two years her output of Made Fun of Canadian Flag. per acre of beet, and higher than the On __ 98,381-90 Jimirgs's return home fq the Individual deposits subject to check ___ _________ milk amounted to considerably more Ribald comment by sailors of the Crops of Hawaii. average yield of cane sugar per acre birthday purty of a girl In th» neigb- than 4,600 gallons mid weighs more world has caused the government to ___ 1,285 2« D'n'aijii certificates ot deposit . ______ __ ____ The two main crops «4 Hawaii are nf cane. Truly an alluring halt, and than is tons. In less than six years have the house flhc of the Canadian sugar and piauuptdea. The greater ' borhood, tec was telling his mother ............ 40 9« Certified cbggks ........... .... ........................ ........ .......... . an opportunity to make the land flow, Moss Rose has had seven calves and government merchant marine changed part of the land twut suited to agri­ about her mother. When th«-children __ 22,345.25 Tim« anaxsa gs Deposits ............... .. If not with honey, at any rate with were leering she asked t!«at all tc given more than 42 tona of milk Until now the fine displayed on It the culture Is In parts of the territory ___ 24.000.00 mimethlng not unlike it. Bi^js paya : money borr >wed .... Canadian beaver, but the likeness W deficient In ramfall. ThM has made a wish her little girl some: bio« nice. _ ____ 14.59 Lpo»d Int. accenni Whereupon Jimmie's motto* said to * More Trouble. this industrious animal to another large Irrigation nweweary. The Im Consumer A firm of music publishers have pro­ rodent caused sailors the world oxer i«orts for the fiscal year of 191» were) him: “Itrust that my litt'.ehny wished _ 171,947.21 Tetal "The mill* of the god» grind slowly ” duced »hat they describe aa a three- to refer to th«- Sa nudls n government I $.’<>.743.7W3. The exports amounted to the littft girl something Mee. egon. County of Tillimcok. ss. remarked the ready-iuade philosopher. quarter one step. It will soon tie Im service as “tbe rat line” Hereijier 9S8.250.02k. Most Of Hawaii's com “Ck yea,” said JImml< still seetpg ■n^Cashier of the above named bank, do solemnly swear “Ye»," replied Farmer Corntoesei, IHissitile to get a dance without belnc the hnyse flag will display In lince marce is with the United States. Othe> visions of cake and Igv cream: “1 "I reckon If we had to depend on accompanied by a profeasloual ar I th e »aatement is trm o t he best of my knowledge and nclief- of the beavet a cross enclosed in products of the Island am coffee, wlaknd her that she'd! soon have »n. them, the price of flour never would A. W. Larson, Cashier. circle. tkor blrfday, ” uietlcian.—Loudon Punch- t fruits, Mts, rWe and hides. come down.” Subscribed and sworn to befere me this 10th day of May 1921, —T K- I Ashley, Notary public. RODS, SPOONS, SPINNERS, AUTOMATIC REELS, FLIES, SNELLS, FURNISHED LINES, SINKERS, Etc., Etc, You Wont. Lose the Big Ones When Using Our Tackle It’s the Best. i C. I. CLOUGH, THE REXALL STORE, TILLAMOOK OREGON The First National Bank of Bay Qty There will be a meeting ot the Jersey Club at Fairview Hr. 11 <>n Tuesday, May 17th. It la reqiuated that every iiVMnbei be greeent to help complete ar rang» menta for th« Jersey Jubilee A tel­ ler from the Stale Secretary ha» been received eaylng many out of Mate vlaitore are expected to attend t CMAWrOED. «fo-y. Prom The Benedictine Sisters Indigestion and Conitipation. Jersey Breeden to Meet Chamberlain's Cough Remedy The Road to Happincs« You must keep well If yru wish •'Everyone who has used Chamber- to be happy, When constlpaied take lain'» Dough Remedy speaks well of one or two of Chamberlain's Tablets Immediately after supper, Th.iy It," writes Edward P. Miller. Abbott» cause a gentle movement of »he town. Pa. People who once use thia bowel« $r«*aratton are seldom satisfied with any other. It ta eseellent to aliar a Headlight Classified «da bring * *>,C Adv. quick reatina. The following from the Benedictine ’’ Prior to using Chamberlain’s Sisters, Holy Name Convent, San An Tabiota, I suffered dreadfully frwn tonta, Fla., la of value to every mo­ Indigestion. Nothing I ate agreed ther: "We hav* Just received ship­ with ma and I lost flesh aud ran ment of Foley's Honey and Tar. Il down in health. Chamberlain'» Tab­ is a household remedy. We have used lets strengthened my digeetfoa and it «ine» w» knew of It, for our chll cured me of constipation,** writes dr«n especially, and always found It Mrs. George Stroup. Solvay, N. Y. ♦eneficlak AO. Sold Everywhere. Headlight ClaaMtM «4a hila.! t«iek romita. I ClasoKleA »4» get resulti. Correct Attest: John A. Nelson A. Ramsey Directors The Beadlight $1 per year