TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT JUNE 24, 1920. - •r LETTER can learn.’* THE PROFESSOR dropped in. • • • LAST NIGHT and said. • • • HE HAO a puzzle. • • • you KNOW he «peaks. • • • FIFTY 8EVEN kinds. • • • OF HIGHBROW talk. • • • BUT HE’D just heard. • • • TWO FELLOWS talking. • • • SOMETHING LIKE this. • • • “HERE'S THE real cheese. • ♦ ♦ ON THE kind of butt • • • FOR 8TEADY stuff." • • • “SPILL IT,” said the other. • • • 80 THE first one said. • • • “IT’S GOT the goods. • • • ANO PEP and all. • • • JUST TOUCH one off. • ♦ ♦ AND YOU’LL be living. • • • JHE LIFE of Reilly. NOT SENT FAMOUS WAR MESSAGE POPULAR J l Packed in «■ Sanitary Vacuum Cans Many Writer« Would View With Equanimity Ita Complota Otaappoaw «nee From th« Language. "Evenaprofèssor b? “R" I FELL for it, and gee. • • • I’M JAKE for keeps. • • • ANO 8ITTIN* on the world." • • • ANO THL second one said. • • • “JUST 8LIP us one. • • • FOR THE double-0.” • • • AND THAT was all. • • • 1 LAUGHED and pointed. « • • OUT THE window. • ♦ • AND THE prof read. • • • THE ELECTRIC sign. • • • AND HE was on. • • • THE SIGN just said. • • • “THEY SATI8FY.” HERE may be a hundred other ways to say it, but in good, plain United States, it's “they sat­ isfy.” Those fine Turkish and Domestic tobaccos and that can’t- be-copied Chesterfield blend put Chesterfields where none can touch them for quality and value. T tn a tract recently Issued under the auspices of the Society for Pure Eng­ lish. Dr. Robert Bridge« deplore» the practical disappearance of the letter K from the speech of aouthern English­ men. according to the Manchester Guardian. Yet. some people would be disposed to regard the extinction of this letter with composure or even ap- provaL John Aubrey, for Instance, ap­ pears to have nursed a prejudice against those who sound It too promi­ nently In their speech. In bls "Live«” Aubrey animadverts on the fact that "Milton pronounced the letter R (lit­ ters can Ina) very hard—a certain sign of a satyrlcall wttL" fn Germany the “canine letter" has found many enemies, who maintain that Its abounding employment largel) accounts for the ruggedness of Teu­ tonic speech. Some writers have gone so far as to produce works from which It Is entirely banished—a remarkably difficult feat, seeing that It figures In about 50 per cent of German words. Two minor luminaries of the eight­ eenth century, Brockes and Gottlich Burmann. wrote a number of poems from which the letter is deliberately excluded, so as to produce un atinos phere of “sweetness and light" These facts were eclipsed by a nine­ teenth century author, Gmnz Rittler, who held the letter In aversion, though It appears twice in bls own surname. He published two novels. “Die Zwll linge" and "Lisette und Wilhelm,” In which no R can be found. Paul von Scliontbau and Leo Kobe are responsible tor similar works on a lesser scale. keepjin all its delightful flavor “Tastes Better Goes Further” SOLD BY Tillamook Merc. Co. Qeo. Phelps. Garibaldi W. A. Bowe, Brighton Big Mill Store, Wheeler A. W. Kilbourg, Wheeler Mohler Supply, Mohler attery solution and B —- JkYEVER has there been a lietter reason for |A| preserving your property than at the present X time. High costs of construction have greatly increased the value of homes and buildings, no matter how old they might be. Paint—GOOD Paint, will do more to preserve and increase the value of your pr -perty than anything else you can possibly invest in. It is the greatest safeguard against the ravages of time and weather. It is the best kind of insurance. Guard your home and buildings with “Silly Old Foot.” Of the stories told by Mr. Pett Ridge, the popular author, one of the best, perhaps. Is of an Incident which occurred outside a London railway sta­ tion. "I wanted n taxicab." says Mr. Ridge. "A smnll hoy ran to fetch one mid i-nme buck with It. holding the Immllv of 'lie door as a signal of tem­ porary ownership. As the cab pulled I up n bigger lad tried to obtain posies •Ion of the handle. “Out pf It I’ ordered the youug boy. aggrlevedly. “1 was the^me sent to ’ got the taxi for the silly old fool"—he turned to me and touched his cap re­ spectfully—"wasn't 1. sir?”—lxindoD Tit-Bits. FULLER Paint and other products. Back of them are 71 years of paint-making experience. Thousands of property owners have used these products for years. Look lip a FULLER Dealer in Your Town W. P. Fuller & Co. Northwest Branches at Portland. Seattle, Tacoma, Spokane, Boise Among Humorists, "Ever borrow an Idea?" asked the young husband. “Among its professionals It Is con­ sidered permissible to borrow back and forth,” said the old timer “How­ ever. 1 hope you'll avoid something a friend of mine once did. and has been sorry for ever since." "What was that?” "He stole a Joke from a religious paper."—Ixtulavllle Courier-.lmiriiaL LAMB-SCHRADER CO t32S2S25«15Z5HSH5asaS2S?525H5E5HK5asaS2SZS2SÎ5252SH5i?525H5HS2S2SZSa5aS£5 * -W Tillamook*Battery ^Station Willard Service. Supplying Palestine With Water. From the average yearly rainfall of 20 Inches enough water could be stored up In Palestine to support a population of 16.000,000. according to James Haines, secretary of the Zion­ ist Society of Engineers, which Is lay­ ing plans for a wnter supply system for the Holy land as part of the restor­ ation work neeessnry to make the Innd ready to receive the hundreds of thousands of Jews from all over the world who will emigrate there as soon as the political status of the country Is cleared up. Allowing for a 50 per cent loss through evai>orntlon and running off. Mr. Haines has figured that the yearly rainfall over the 20.000 square miles of Palestine will provide a future pop­ ulation of 0,000.000 with a daily per capita supply of 2.055 gallons. The uverage dally consumption In New York st present Is estimated at about 800 gallons per capita. —and don’t forget we are Record Headquarters COME—it is our pleasure to please you! & £anc Piano Co. BROADWAY AT Opportunity Is Coming When 8om« Negro Arises to “Make a Dictionary." Tactical Error. A major of marines had hfs bat­ talion out in the brush in Cuba for a problem In observation. lie