I
TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JANUARY 1,1920.
Coaxing You to Smile. Discuss Current Topics
NOTICE
The Salt of Life.
The Tillamook Transfer Co. is now
under the sole management of J. P.
Aiaginnis. We are equipped to handle
Drayage of any Kind, anywhere.
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Wood, Coal or Drayage ’
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’TILLAMOOK TRANSFER CO.j
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7
“Never Say Die.”
LIBERTY TEMPLE.
“We Deliver the Goods.”
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IF your immediate need is a de
pendable, painstaking handling of
some business or financial matter,
read the last paragraph of this ad
vertisement. Our desire is to go
less directly to the point.
BUSINESS
AND FINANCIAL
CONDITIONS are maturing new
problems almost daily and thia bank
has prepared itself with facilities eery
valuable to a wide variety of interests.
TO THE FARMER AND RANCH
ER. our membership in the Federal
Reeerve System is an advantage. It
gives us a broad and practical ability
to meet their particular needs. The
same connection serves The Butinet<
Man Here each of these differing lines
of endeavor will find that conferences
with our officers often bring out ad
vantages which anxiety and business
cares have hidden from them.
“Smith” said Jones, "I have a
chance to marry a poor girl whom I
love or a rich girl whom I do not
love. What is your a,dvice?”
“Jones,” said Smith, “love is the
salt of life. Without it all else is
naught. Loves makes poverty, wealth,
pain joy, earth heaven.”
"Enough," Jones Said, "I will mar
ry the poor- girl whom I love.”
“I knew you would,” said Smith,
taking out his fountain pen. "And
now the address, please, of the rich
girl you do not love.”
LADIES, recognizing the man/ ad
vantages in a personal checking ac
count. will find us ready to do every
thing possible to make their transac
tions with this bank a pleasure to them.
TO THE THR1ETT, we offer 4%
interest compounded twice yearly tor
their savings plus the security ot A
Strong Home Owned Bank.
A benevolent old lady in one of the
streets which still retain the red
brick houses ot old time New York
looked out of her parlor window the
other day and saw a man walking
along the sidewalk, apparently in
great dejection. There was something
so pathetic and appealing in his man
ner that she took a dollar bill, put it
in an envelope, and wrote on the
envelope, “Never say Die!” She slip
ped out of the house in the most
casual manner and handed the enve
lope to the man as they passed. Next
day the melancholy old man called at
her house and presented her with
»10. "It's funny,” he said; "you’re
the only one that backed that horse
called Never Say Die.”
-------o-------
Mistaken Identity.
Flatbush—-You know my wife and
her sister look very much alike?
Bensonhurst—Oh, is that so?
"Yes, Why, the other day I got a
seat in a crowded trolly car, and
when I got off my si3ter-in-law was
also getting off the same car and she
gave me Hail Columbia for not get
ting up and offering her my seat.”
“Well why didn’t you offer
her
your seat? Didn't you know her?”
"No, I didn’t. I really thought it
was my wife.”
-■ a
A Gypsy Smith Story.
Pittsburg, (Pa.) Chronicle Tele
graph: "When President Wilson
took office he instituted the most
narrowly partisan
administration
this country has ever known, smash
ing traditions ot civil service, reform
right and left and raiding the diplo
matic service in order to install "de
ifications was the political influence
they could exertin his behalf. And
when our country entered the war
the same policy of partisanship with
regard to important appointments
was pursued so far as it was possible
to do so. Time and again positions
of vital influence on the winning of
the war were to be filled and the
only question at Washington was
which Democrats would get them,
This policy, it is scarcely necessary
to say, was in striking contrast to
that of our Allies, with their coali
tion cabinets and other effective in
struments for securing the best tal
ents of the country regardless of
political affiliations.
Republicans
as has been said, bore this discrimi
nation against them with loyal for
titude and patience giving their
whole-hearted support in Congress
and elsewhere to the supreme task
before the nation. As a result some
Democrats seemed to have gained the
impression that this anomalous con
dition is to continue indefinitely,
that the administration is sacrosanct
and above criticism. Such Democratic
Rip Van Winkles are due for a rude
awakening. Next year comes the
quadrennial reckoning. Ours is a gov
ernment ot the people through par
ties.”
-------0-------
Great Falls (Mont.) Leader: “The
Council of National Defense which
has been investigating the affairs of
George Creel’s publicity
bureau
reaches a report which contains in
formation that is nothing short of
shocking, comments the Fort Wayne
News. Not only did this grotesque
and abominable appendage of the
government cost the taxpayers of the
country »6,600,000 but its affairs
have been left in such a tangle that
they can never be straightened out.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars in
unpaid bills stand against the bureau
and Present Wilson’s personal ad
vance of more than »5,000,000, made
from his war fund after Congress
had refused to sanction the Creel
outrage further, fails to take care of
the situation.”
Gypsy Smith, the evangelist, said
on his recent voyage from Liverpool:
“There are some men who can make
a success even of failure. Thus there
*
was a certain peer once who rose to
TO THE VISITORS IN THIS SEC.
TION, this bank is a place for them
make his maiden speech—a speech
to enter and feel at home and they
granting to all accused persons the
are invited to call and make their
right of counsel—and when he put
desires known.
his hand in his pocket for his notes
they wern’t there. The peer gulped
again. Then he said: “If I, my lords,
_/jV the final analysis, it will be found that this in
Rep. George H. Tinkham, of Mass
who now rise only to give my opinion
stitution is governed by a spirit of helpfulness, and,
achusetts,
lays the blame for the su
on this bill—if I am so confounded
whatever your business interests in this section may
tha.t I am unable to express what I gar shortage and threatened high
be, you can confidently rely upon its cordial, intelli
had in mind, what must be the con price at the door of the White House.
gent and personal co-operation.
dition of that man who, without any A few days ago he told the House
assistance, has got to plead for his that the American consumers would
TILLAMOOK COUNTY BANK
life?” Then the peer sat down to the have saved »360,000,000 to »540,-
The Step ng Home Bank
cheers of a converted chamber, and 000,000 if the President had follow
his bill passed almost unanimously.” ed the advice of the Sugar Equaliza
tion Board last fall to obtain control
of the Cuban crop. The Massachusetts
Permagination and Bluff.
representative also attacked Attor
"That your father up the road?” ney General Palmer, asserting the
asked the man in the linen duster.
Department of Justice announce
“Yes’r,” replied the boy with many ment that Congress had failed to ex
g2525252S2S252SB5a52Sa5BS252S252SaS2525ZSE5BS25252SH5BS?525252525E525a5? freckles.
tend government control over sugar
"He tells me there are lots of mos was “not only offensive, but unqual
quitoes around here.”
ifiedly false.” There is no need for
“Why, mister, I don’t see’s he action by congress, Mr. Tinkham
ought to have told you that. Pap’s contended, asserting the character ot
gettin’ kind ’o weak in the eyes.”
the board provided that the agency
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
“Well what has that to do with it?’ might continue until July, 1923. Mr.
“Well, you see, pap’s got a system. Tinkham put into the record a copy
When anybody asks about summer of the letter sent by the Sugar Equal
board they always mention mosqui- ization Board to the President on
toeB. If pap likes their looks he tells August 14, advising him that the
the truth, which is that we haven't Cuban sugar crop for 1920 has been
seen a skeet in ten years, but if folks tendered to the board and urging the
WAREHOUSE AND OFFICE-
don’t happen to please him he draws President to authorize a contract.
on his imagination and fills the air
COR. FRONT AND 3 rd AVE. WEST, TILLAMOOK, OR.
with winged terrros.”
Industrial Courts
the
Nation’s
%
LAMB-SCHRADER CO.
CEMENT LIME, PLASTER, LATH AND
BRICK; DOMESTIC STEAM AND
SMITHING COAL.
S2S25a52S25252SH5aS25252S2SH5aSE52S2525HS2Sa5ES2Sa5aS2Sa5afiB525?5a5a5252
SHOEING.
JACK HARPER,
BALL SHOP, TILLAMOOK.
Take your Horses there and get
First Class Shoes for them.
I guarantee all work to be
satisfactory, if not, bring it back
and I will make good without
extra charge.
We pay top prices for Hides.
------ o------
A Hard Winter.
Need.
After a somewhat hilarious Christ-
mas Day a man called up his son be-
fore it was light and told him to go
and harness the donkey. The young
man obeyed, but did not take a light
with him. It so happened that the
night before had been very frosty,
and an old cow had Btrayed into the
stable and driven the donkey out.
Thinking the young man a long time
absent the father went to ascertain
the cause of the delay. “Jack, what
are you doing?” he called when he
found the stable in darkness. "Why
I can’t get the collar over the donk
ey’s head,” replied Jack. “His ears
are frozen.”
Industrial courts to settle indus
trial labor disputes must be provided
by the government, Senator Kenyon,
of Iowa declared in an address be-
for the Lawyer’s Club of New York
City. Strikes are no longer a private
fight between employer and employe,
the third party to be considered, does
not propose, he added, to stand for
strikes—“a relic of industrial bar
barism.”
“We must have tribunals where
these matters can be settled," Sena
tor Kenyon asserted. “We must es
tablish courts ot mediation, concil-
ation and compulsory Investigation,
and their decisons must be backed up
by public opinion which will enforce
them. Civil problems go to* civil
courts. Why not Industrial problems
to industrial courts? The govern
ment must provide some means of
solving these questions.”
"America sleeps until the eleventh
hour,” he continued, “but in the
eleventh hour it awakens and has
more potential
power than any
force on earth. It is time for America
to wake up. We must meet their
speakers with ours. Education is the
only thing which will accomplish
this.”
Has North Dakota Seceded?
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RUEX. JVIcNfllR & CO
GENERAL HRRDUlflRE
Kitehen Ranges and
Heating Stoves.
THE BEST STOCK OF HARDWARETN-
THE COUNTY.
___
See UsQfor Prices Before Ordering Elsewhere.
' Subscribe, the Headlight
the Best County Paper.
Justice James E. Robinson, of the
Supreme Court of North Dakota, in
a legal opinion rendered at Bismarck
on December 17th, declared that
North Dakota, “is not posing as a re
public.” but as an industrial democ
racy. whatever that may mean.
The United States Constitution, Ar
ticle IV, Section 4, says: “The United
States shall guarantee to each state
in this Union republican form of gov-
ornment.” It North Dakota is not
"posing as a republic,” it is posing
For Sale.
as a violator of the constitution of
the United States to which every of
Registered Holstein Bull Calf, born
ficial and every citizen of the state
Nov. 14, 1919. His Dam Lady Ruth
of North Dakota owes allegiance.
Fayne; Sire, Hollywood Lilith Korn-
dyke, was sold at the J. W. Pomeroy
Notice of Stockholders' Meeting.
sale, July 25, 1919, for »3,000.00 His
-
o-------
Dam's 7 day record; Milk, 460 lbs.;
The annual meeting of the stock- butter, 18.72 lbs.; per cent fat 4.02,
holders of the Tillamook Hotel Com- at Jr. two year old.
His Sire's Dam 7 day record: Milk
pany will be held at the hotel par-
638.75
lbs.; Butter 32.92 lbs. percent
lore in Tillamook City, Oregon, on
fat 4.25.
Monday, January 5th, at 2 p.m.
Further particulars and price en
P. J. Worrall, President. quire of Chris Rcichen, R. F. D. No.l,
E. J. Cloussen, Secretary Hillsboro. Oregon.
I
Scraps of Paper.
------ o------
The high cost of living
the high cost of loafing.
is partly
The American people are counting
the days until March 4th, 1921.
o
Dr. Garfield has discovered that
there is only one professor on the
White House faculty.
■o-------
Professor Garfield is thinking a lot
but’it is not probable that his reflec
tions are entirely heatless.
-------o-------
President Wilson is still willing to
compromise if the Senate will agree
to everything he proposes.
------o------
Shipping America “Reds” to bol
shevik Russia, gets even with the
“reds" and also with the bolshevik!.
If the present situation continues
much longer Europe may have to go
back to work and sue Uncle Sam for
non-support.
■ ■ -o
There may come a time when the
administration will meet some public
problem without trying to straddle
it. but it’s doubtful.
It the professional friends of the
"common people” win a few more
elections the common people will not
have a shirt left to their backs.
------ o-------
One comforting thought for the
Democratic mule is that it will not
have to live through another winter
outside the sunny and solid South.
------- o
What has become of the old-fash
ioned Democrat who used to scream
himself red in the face in protest
against “government by injunction?’
------- o------
The question of who killed the cove
nant seems to be the subject of more
controversy at present than the old
problqpi of who killed Cock Robin.
------- o-------
The college professors of the state
of New York have formed a labor
union. A college professors' strike
will at any rate never cause a nation
al crisis.
-------0-------
Colonel Bryan reminds us that we
now have sixteen to one. Knew we
were in an awful fix, but had not be-
fore suspected the real cause of the
trouble.
------- o-------
The end of the world didn’t come
last week. But the end of the world
so far as the Democratic party is
concerned is only a little over tèn
months off.
Evidently President Wilson has
had more in mind making a cam-
paign issue than making a peace
treaty and it is apparent that he has
failed at both Jobs.
------- O' ■
■
New York World says: “Democrat
ic senators balk on Wilson’s program'
First thing you iNiow these rubber
stamp boys will be consigned to the
pygmy minded class.
covenant have occupied nearly three-
fourths of the time used in debating
the matter in the Senate. That is
very modest indeed, in view of the
fact that there are ten times as many
good arguments against it as are for
it.
------ o
Senator Walsh, Dem., saye he
doesn’t know whether the President
wrote the last statement attributed
to him or whether it is the product
of some "cheap politicians” There
are no “cheap politicians” connected
with the present administration. All
of them are very expensive.
<
One body of American churchmen
has recommended "extreme caution
in handling the Mexican situation”
to the administration. Recommend
ing caution on the Mexican situation
to the present national administra
tion is a good deal like urging a
snail to go slow.
------o------
If America is harmed by delay in
accepting the un-Americanlzed cove
nant and peace treaty, why is it that
foreign exchange is slipping while
the good old American dollar holds
its own? Evidently it was not the
heart of the world, but the pocket
book of the world, that some people
were so much alarmed about.
o-------
President Wilson is said to be con
vinced that the Senate majority is
trying to destroy his popularity. If
he could escape from the circle of
White House sycophants and famil
iarize himself with what the people
are thinking, and saying, Mr. Wilson
would realize that such a task would
be like carrying coals to Newcastle.
- ■ o-------
The plan adopted at the recent
meeting of the Republican national
committee for deliberation by party
representatives upon proposed plat
form planks in advance of the con
vention is a big step forward. The
plan of throwing a platform together
In a tew hours has been followed
since the adoption of the national
convention plan, with unsatisfactory
results.
■o—
Strikes have cost labor and indus
try two billion dollars in 1919. There
is no more reason why the public
should suffer from a labor dispute
than from any other kind of dispute.
Quarreling neighbors are required to
take their grievances to court for
binding decision on the basis of eq
uity. Some day we will have sense
enough to require industrial disput
ants to do the same thing.
------- o-------
Four fifths of the farmers of the
country are against political owner
ship of transportation lines, mines,
farm lands, etc, yet a self constituted
board calling itBelf representative of
the farmers of the country has issued
a statement favoring the full social
ist program. The three tailors of
Tooley street are still passing resolu
tions beginning: "We, the people of
London.”
Nearly 12,000 Greeks returned
home from the United States during
------- o
,tbe four months, June to September,
The director of the mint says that in spite of excessive steamship fares
the government made eight million and dlifficulties experienced in ob
dollars on its minting operations last taining passports, according to Con-
year. It seems queer that even a mint soul General Weddell, at Athens. The
can make money under the manage Greeks took with
them a large
ment of the administration.
amount of money. Since January 1st
postal money orders amounting to
Even Mr. Lewis of the miners must »25,000,000 at normal exchange rate
have been a bit puzzled by being have been remitted to Greece.
threatened with federal prison one
o
day and complimented for deciding
Of 800 Swiss who fought in the
not to go to the next, and all by the French army during the war only
same party.
300 survive and they include many
wounded. One Swiss exploit was the
Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt issued a gallant stand at Verdun, where 1000
statement urging women to be in held up a German advance and were
dependent of political parties .Mrs. killed to the last man. The Swiss
Catt’s idea is for the iomen voters have always been great fighters, and
to be perfectly independent and sup were considered the best fighting
port Wilsoin.
men in Europe in Caesar’s time, as
------- o-------
that old worrior freely admitted in
Prosecution of the common people his chronicles.
continue. A jury has sent to the pen
itentiary a North Dakota banker who
The Brief.
Insisted on lending money to a
------- o-------
friendly political organization with
out reference to the plutocratic bank Oh, print me a brief, Mr. Printer,
To conform to the rules of the court
ing laws.
With margins as wide as notebook,
----- O------
And pages alarmingly short.
Unable to get satisfaction from the
federal department of Justice in that Use type like a child's first reader.
To make it weighty and sage;
respect, the "reds” in New York are
planning to provide their own hand Have it read like a sign, with three
words to a line —
cuffs and put on a parade of "mana
And charge me a dollar a page!
cled” victim of capitalistic prosecu
tion on Christmas day.
Each line must stand out like a head
ing,
The week the coal wage dispute
With spaces before and behind,
was settled under a mysterious pri That it may be read without effort
vate “R Street" agreement, Presi
By the lame and the halt and tho
dent Wilson published a moving ap
blind.
peal in a magazine for the ending of For the law it presents is obscure,
the “old system” of "secret govern
Though crowned with a halo of age
ment."
So string it along, and bring it out
strong.
Those who are critising Congress
And charge me a dollar a page!
for not finding a "prompt solution” For a brief must look large and im
of the railway problem should keep
posing
in mind that the railways have by
For the court-- and my client to Hee
now been wo thoroughly McAdooled Such a book that will leave the Im
that "solving” that "problem” Is a
pression
good deal like inventing a satisfac
That I’m certainly earning my fee.
tory receipt for unscrambling eggs.
The price is of minor importance
-------o-------
My opponent will pay it and rage,
General Pershing’s report proves
So fill it with space and fourteen-
that while the Creel bureau was busy
point face,
advertising the Imaginary war ach
And charge me a dollar a page.
ievements of administration politic
ians, it overlooked a great deal that
might have been said of the achieve
Krout, Krout.
------ 4-------
ments of the American soldier on the
Who want’s krout this winter?
battlefield.
Stuivenga haa got the cabbage. Send
Senator Hitchcock complains that him your order, prices right. Mutual
opponents of the un-Amerlcanized Phone, Wm. Stuivenga.
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