TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, DECEMBER 25,
1919.
THE GEM THEATRE FEATURE ATTRACTIONS
You’re Pinched
Marguerite Clark
COME OUT OF
THE KITCHEN
What a fix for a perfectly respectable
husband and wife to be in
SCENE: Gountry Hotel.
TIME: Midnight.
Wifey had arrived two hours earlier with a handsome male
foreigner. They took adjoining rooms and wifey roused the
neighborhood by almost snatching the foreigner bald headed
because he tried to steal a kiss—which he thought he was en­
titled to because she had eloped with him.
Then bubby arrives—hot under the collar, cussing on all
cylinders—makes straight for wifey’s room—and the brave
hotel clerk-constable beards them in their lair.
”1 ain’t goi’n to have no more sich doins in this house
—you’re pinched” he says—
AHIS story of the girl
who “ played
cook”
and captured her heart’s
desire in spite of her lowly
position, kept the crowds
going to Broadway to see
her for two years.
Constance Talmage
“A TEMPERAMENTAL WIFE.”
“TRIPLETROUBLE
Charlie Chaplin
Comedy.
MARGUERITE CLARK,
* Come Out of the Kitchen'
A Peppy Play about Wives and Stenogs
2 reels of hilarious laughter
and fun. Don’t miss it.
“Love’s False Faces.”
Tuesday Night, Dec.30
THURSDAY -NEW YEAR’S NIGHT.
MACK SENN ETTE COMEDY.
CHILDREN. 15c.
ADULTS, 25c.
Discuss Cunent Topics
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* the Best County Paper.
operate without coal. Either
roads must go back to their owners
in the new year with some govern­
ment provision for paying their bills
or they must break down. If the
American railway system breaks
down American industry and Ameri­
can business must break down with
it. Then American bread and butter
will be at stake. Congress has no
more important work to do for the
nation in the next few days than to
save the American railway system
from bankruptcy. In its Immediate
consequence nothing else could be
more Important. Until a permanent
plan can be worked out for the
railroads Congress must provide the
financial means to keep them operat­
ing. This first aid to the roads can­
not wait.”
The El Paso (Tex.) Herald, a Dem­
ocratic paper, in its issue of Novem­
ber 23. said editorially, under the
caption. "President Wilson Pays the
J Price of Playing Politics With the
World.” Whether for his party or for
himself, the President played the
political game all the way, and
played it badly. No doubt he sincer­
ely believes the treaty which he
trained was for the good of, man­
kind. It was not so much his treaty
as the way he negotiated it that
brought deep seated resentment, not
froqi Senators alone, but from a
great body of the American people."
------- o-------
Senator Pomerene, of Ohio, Demo-1
crat, says that while the country is
paying present prices for sugar in­
COAXING YOU TO SMILE
stead of 9 or 10 cents a pound, there
is plenty of sugar on hand, held back
Returning Empties.
for profiteering purposes, and the
An optiiuiaflc Colorado farmer, on
administration is responsible for it seeing some clouds floating by, re­
through desertion of the public inter­ marked: "Well, I guess we are going
est to take care of Lousiana sugar in­ to have some rain.”
terests. Senator Pomerene declares
“Aw!" safti the pessimistic neigh­
that the beet sugar men were willing bor, an ex-railroad man. “those are
to sell their crop for 9 or 10 cents a just empties coming back from Iowa.’
pound, but their offer was refused.
------- o-------
The Cuban sugar crop, he says, could
His First Kifig.
have been bought by the Sugar
One of the treasury officials who
Equalization Board. It had not done helped put over the Liberty Loan
so because Prof. Taussig opposed it, campaigns and his colored man ser­
although every other member of the vant George, were coming through
board favored it. The President Rock Creek Park the other morning
however, sided with Prof. Taussig.
and they met King Albert of Belgium
-------o------ -
taking a constitutional afoot, 'l iw
• Indianapolis News: "It is for the trio stopped and chatted for a few
American People to -ay whether they minutes and the king shook hands
will submit to such a hold-up (as the with George the same as he did with
miners strike). Also the time has the official.
come for national and state govern­
After the king had passed on the
ments to act, and act decisively. official turned to George and asked
Even if further negotiations should him what he thought of his majesty.
be proposed there is now no time for
"Ma, alive,” George said, “dat om
them. People today are suffering for the first king I ever saw outside of
the lack of fuel. All over the country a deck.”
industries are shutting down—and
this has just begun. Stores in our
Not Such an Easy Job.
cities are closing at 4 o'clock in this
The
sympathetic
prison visitor
busiest season of the year, at great
loss to their owners. Public utilities, went from cell to cell interviewing
on the operation of which the very the inmates. To one penient-looking
lifeof the people depends, are face to individual she put the usual ques­
tion: “What brought you here?"
face with a coal shortage which will,
"Borrowed money lady,” was the
if this strike continues, before long
reply.
be a coal famine, What we have in
"But, good gracious!" she exclaim­
short, is war. An enemy landed on
ed, “they don’t put people in prison
not
more
directly
our shores could
for borrowing money."
attack the life of the people. Here is
"Not ordinarily.” said the man,
a crisis that must be met with de-
"but I had to knock a man down
cision and firmness.”
three or four times before he would
lend it to me."
Senator Kenyon, of Iowa, main-
------ o------
taines that education along Ameri-
can lines of ali foreigners in this
Enchantment Is Distance.
Two cow boys in the wild west
country is an essential part of the
means of averting further industrial agreed to settle their differences
I unrest. "According to the census of with revolvers. Both were dreading
1910.” says the Senator, “there the ordeal. Patrick showed it most.
were 9,500.000 persons in the Unit­ His knees knocked together Jo such
ed States who could not speak Eng- an extent that they affected his
li-h. These people offer a fertile aim.
field for the propaganda of the
"Look here!” he said at last to his
bolsheviki and 1. W. W. We must get opponent. "Will you as a favor allow
a»ay from the discord and strikes of me to rest my leg against this mile­
the present time and get back to the stone to steady myself?”
"Yes” said the other man trying to
unity and solidarity which we had
during the war to combat the forces control his voice, "If you'll allow me
that are working against the coun­ to rest my leg against the next!”
try from the inside. We can deport
Alexander Berkman and Emma Gold­
“Only Us Chickens ’’
man, but we cannot deport the idea Late in the night an old negro heard
which they have planted here. The a flutter among his poultry.
only «ay we can prevent the spread
"So I takes down my gun." he I
of that idea is to educate it out of the says, "an. creeps 'ion in de dark. Lie
people. To do that we must get to doah of my chicken house is wide
the basis of one language, the Ameri­ open an' I sticks the revolver inside '
can language.”
an ’says, Ef yo’ don’t come outen dut
yo’ low-down thlev’n niggah who’s
New York Sun: "The American in dere. ’just blow yo’ black head to |
taiiroads are scheduled to be turned pieces."
back to their owners at the end of
"He don't let on. an' I shout out I
this month. Government operation again. Who’s dah?’
has piled up their operating expenses,
Lien I he ah that crim'n'l niggah
has cut down their traffic,, and say squeakly, like 'e wks just gwlne
cleaned out their treasuries and has to cry, 'It's only us chickens!”
left them, or a great majority of
them, powerless to do their work of
A Human Phonograph.
tranporting the people and the busi­
"Going far?" asked th< chatty
ness of the United States. As matters little man of the man in the corner!'
stand today, in truth, the American
' Oh. no, only to Scotland," replied
railroads face going back—th* good,
the other, who hated talking to
the bad and the indifferent— dead strangers, and who wish to nip
broke. And railways cannot operate this one In the bud. ”1 am a commer­
without eash any more than they can
cial traveler. My age Is forty-six, I
I
<
HAPPY NEW YEAR
OPE is father of the wish for Holiday Happi­
ness to you and yours from the First National
Bank.
May 1920 find your success bigger and broader
than 1919.
The facilities mid services of this institution are
here to help you promote that success.
DIRECTORS :
A. W BUNN. Partner.
JOHN MORGAN. Partner.
P. HB1SBL. Farmer.
C. J. UPWARDS, Mgr. C. Power Co.
W. J. RtECHURS. Vice-Pre«. and Mgr
TILLAMOOK. OREGON
am married. My name is Henry Big­
feet. I have a son of nineteen. He is
in the 11th Clamshires. My father
died last July. He was on the stock
exchange. My mother is still living. I
have a niece with red hair. Our chair­
lady’s name is Mrs. Smuggs. Is there
anything else?”
"What oil do you use for your
tongue?" he inquired slowly.
The Newest Cause.
"The workmen have struck again
sir."
“What for, more money?”
"No sir, not this time.”
"For shorter hours then?”
“No, sir. This time it for long dln-
ner hours.”
------ o------
Abreast of the Times.
"What has become of the man who
used to tell us how anybody could
get rich raising chickens?”
"I guess”, said Farmer Corntossel,
“he has switched around and is mak­
ing a fortune out o’ plans for sellln’
chicken feed to the people he started
rasin’ chickens.”
This Was Going Too Far:
---- —o------
When the conference preliminary
to the formation of a labor party at
Chicago decided in favor of the nat­
uralization of land the representa­
tives of the Farmers Non-Partisan
party withdrew. These delegates
wanted it distinctly understood that
while they were In favor of nation­
alizing other jicople’s property they
would not endorse an^ foolishness
were
about socialism In land.
’—* They
.........
—
willing to divide up, all right, so
long as the other fellow did the dl­
viding. Socialism ls like a boil,— a
fine thing on the other fellow’s nose.
Nevertheless the near socialist can­
not too soon understand that when
the dividing up proposition begins,
he is going to have to give up his
property and let it be distributed
from the general store. If industries
are going to be socialized, farms
must be too, and they will be.
We wish our numerous
customers and Friends a
Happy and
Prosperous
New Year.
<<< *
C. 0. & C. M. Dawson