TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT JULY 10, 1919,
would be able to reckon on success
COAXING YOU TO SMILE.
In the webt. "As a soldier," the field
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marshal is quoted, "I must prefer an
“A scientist declares that meat
The Newberg Graphic aptly re­ honorable fall to an ignominious eaters are more active than vege­
marks that while automobilists prob­ peace.”
' tarians.” "They’ve got to be to get
ably need protection from inexperi­
The unpleasant truth must be fac­ meat to eat.”
I
enced mechanics, its observation is ed that the dangers thus confronting
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that what a large number of drivers the allies would not vanish with the
“Does it take much pull to get a
need most is protection from them­ mere perfunctory signihg of the birth under the
government?"
selves.—Telephone Register.
peace treaty by the present tottering "Some. Do you want a sleeping-car
German government. Dangerous and reservation or a job?”
The Tillamook County officials powerful elements are scheming to
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have employed a speed cop to look overthrow the makeshift govern­
"I should hate to have a huaband
after the speed fiends using the ment and repudiate the peace treaty. who argued. I shall try to marry a
highways in that county to the
Must the allies fight a second war lawyer,” "Why lawyers are the very
danger of themselves and the public with a half-whipped and treacherous men who argue,” "But not without
generally, It hardly seems necessary Germany? The answer rests with the a fee.”
to keep a watchful eye over auto German people. If driven to that or­
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drivers but experience has taught to deal the next job must be made a i Mr. Styles—So you have changed
the contrary and some act must be finished one, with the Germans them­ your mind? Mrs. Styles—Yes, I have.
taken to protect the public from selves begging for unconditional sur- Mr. Styles—When did you change it?
those who have no regard for the render.
Mrs. Styles—While I was changing
rights and lives of others.—Sheridan
To thdt end the allies need not and my dress. Mr. Styles—But it doesn’t
Sun.
will not go beyond the rules and usually take as long as that, dear.
practices of civilized warfare. They
It was said that Roy Graves, of should route the German armies and
Park Orator—An’ I tell yer that all
Sheridan, was awfully sore when he take prisoners of war of every re­ them millionaires' money is tainted
was defeated for state senator a few maining soldier—high degree, low —all on It! Unconvinced person—
years ago, but after all we believe degree or intermediate. They would Ow d’ye mean, ’’tainted’’?. Park or­
there is more glory for him in being be entirely justified In depriving ator—Well, ’taint yours, an’ ’taint
able to head the parade of his nattily Germany of her last cannon, her last mine, Is it?
uniformed ludies’
cornet
band machine gun, her last army rifle and
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through the streets of neighboring the last vistage of her once mighty , Mrs. Flatbush—What’s the matter
towns than there would be in trying navy.
with you and Bensonhurst? Mr. Flat­
to shine under the dome at the state ‘ That accomplished
they could bush—Oh, he Insulted me. Mrs.
capital, and we are sure the air he punish every German officer and Flatbush—What did he say? Mr.
breathes is much purer and the as­ private known to have violated the Flatbush—Called me an old grouch.
sociations less contaminating that he laws of war on land and sea or in the Mrs. Flatbush—Don’t mind him.
would find at
Salem.—Newberg air or beneath the water.
You’re not so old -dear.
Graphic.
From that high and humane task,
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if Germany drives us to it, there
A doughboy, after receiving a par­
”Oi don’t like to indaycintly ex­ must beno flinching the next time— cel from home, made a mad rush to
pose me ignoration, but fwhat’s this Spokesman Review.
the company street where he gather­
Rosenfel Military Highway anyway?’
ed his cronies about him. “It’s from
says Bucksaw Ryan at the Bow Wow
the old man,” he cried. “See that’s
The Badgers.
Club.
writing. There’s sure to be a lot of
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‘‘It’s opening up that half barbar­
The trial of the case of.Mrs.Tyler smokes and something to eat, and be­
ous country bechune th’ portals ov against Attorneys Hall and Sievers, tween you and me it wouldn’t be like
th’ land av forchun on the north now decided in favor of the aged hint to omit a bottle or two.” He
where ye can pick up Rubies on the plaintiff, is not of impersonal inter­ chuckled as he undid the outer
road and take them and pneumonia est to the public. Here are lawyers wrapper, but inside was another ad­
to the Goolden Gate av the Goolden charged in a civil suit with conspir­ dressed in a feminine hand. “Hell,”
West on th’ south too late to get the acy by means of which $20„000 was he exclaimed in disappointment.
Goolden Juice that cures ye of that badgered from an aged and feeble “The party’s off. Its from my aunt
New Years morning afther feeling woman. It will be a sad reflectir* and there won’t be nothing in it but
ye’d a had if th’ highway had been in upon the bar association if the facts socks and prayer books.”
runnin’ ordher last Cliuesda.”—J. are not subjected to its own inquiry, _____
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-
Hennessy Murphy in Oregon Voter. and there is ample material for an
Not Stone Deaf.
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investigation by the grand jury.
■ Tom—"Are you deaf to my plead­
Do you think the war is oVer? Do
The Hendersons, alleged man and ings?”
you think there will be world peace wife, are now fugitives from justice.
Eva—"I am.”
forever? Do you think the Huns have The grand jury has investigated
Tom—“But what if I were to offer
been crushed and humanized and too their part of the transaction and has you a diamond ring?”
severely dealt with for their crime acted. It can properly go no further.
Eva—"Oh, I’m not stone deaf.”
against the world? Forget it-. Read Attorney Hall first was counsel for
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what one of the Hun leaders have to Ethel Henderson in a suit against
One Source of Comfort.
say, which voices the hatred of the Mrs. Tyler’s son for $3000 as com­
“My dear” moaned the patient
Huns: "Dr, Gustav Bauer, premier, pensation for services as housekeep­
said that a "defeated nation was be­ er. The suit was settled for $1500 as he tossed restlessly on his bed.
ing violated body and soul to the and Tyler signed a document indicat­ "It’s the doctor I'm thinking of what
horror of the world.” "Let us sign,” ing that he had lived with the wom­ a bill this will be!”
"Never mind Joseph" said his wife.
he continued, ‘but it is our hope that an as her husband.
"You know there is the Insurance
the last breath that this attempt
The next day Hall went with Har­ money.”
against our honor may one day recoil ry Henderson to the district attorney
against its authors.” Does that doc- to obtain the arrest of his own client,
trine sound good to you? Not L— Ethel Henderson, for criminal rela­
A Disheartened Surprise.
Banks Herald.
They had been engaged for full
tion with Tyler. Shortly thereafter
he appeared as attorney for Hender­ thirty minutes by the cuckoo clock.
Congress is to pass a measure pro- son in a suit demanding $100,000 of
“I have a surprise in store for you,
with Mrs. Tyler for alienation of Binder- Alfred, dear,” she replied. “I can
viding discharged
soldiers
farms, but the complaint is becoming son’s wife Ethel. Yet they were not cook as well as I can play the piano.”
general that the soldiers, or at least alienated, for the Henderson’s fled
“That being the case, darling,” he
a large number of them, don’t appear together, after the alienation BUlt replied, “we had better live in a
to want the farms, but prefer to re­ was compromised for >20,000 and boarding house.”
main in the cities. Perhaps they be­ evidences indicates that Hall knew it
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come scared at the movement sug­ and accompanied them as far as
Why
They
Scrambled.
gested by well meaning but unin­ Vancouver. As another bright light
A traveler in the dining car of a
formed people to settle soldiers on on his interesting
activities it
western logged off lands, for if they is disclosed that he even "Bhort Georgia railroad and ordered fried
did what the promoters apparently changed” his client out of nearly eggs for breakfast.
"Can’t give you fried eggs, boss,”
did not do—found out just what a $300 in dividing the spoils. Seivers,
large proportion of logged off west­ if the Tylers’ testimony is to be be­ the negro waiter informed him, "les­
ern lands really are—they would lieved, is blacker than Hall. That son you wait till we stop.”
"Why how’s that?”
feel that they were being penalized testimony is that he frightened his
“Well de cook saye de road’s so
and not rewarded for their service own client, an unworldly woman,
to the nation. This of course does not eighty-six years old, with visions of rough dat every time he tries to fry
mean that these lands will not be put a penitentiary sentence and did it aigs dey scramble.
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to use some day. but settling on them when she was*on her sick bed. On
with the intention of making a liv­ his own tdestimony he let Mrs. Ty­ I
His Memory Good.
ing’would mean the hardest kind of ler’s son take the settlement of suit
A widly known humorist was be-
pioneering and the prospect was not out of his hands and yet attempted to ing shaved by a very talkative bar_
inviting to the man just released withhold $5000 of the badger spoils her and was forced to listen to many
from hard service.—Independent.
in payment for his services in per­ of his anecdotes.
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mitting his clients to be swindled. 1 The barber had to strop his razor,
The logan berry growers, follow­
If there has not been enough ad­ and when he was ready brush in
ing the lead of the wool growers, mitted by these two lawyers to war­ hand, to commence again, he asked:
have organized a pool on their pro­ rant their disbarment, then the cher­
“Shall I go over it again?"
duct with the result that they suc­ ished ethics of the bar are but a
“No thanks,” drawled the custo­
ceeded in Marion and Polk counties sham. If the testimony of Mrs. Tyler mer “Its hardly necessary. I think I
in getting 9 cents a pound for the and her son is true, the lawyers can remember every word.”
crop. There were forty farmers in the ought to be in the penitentiary.—
pool and they controlled 200 tons of Oregoniari.
___
I When you recall that one person In
berries. The fartners will average
about $200 net per acre for their
Optimistic railroad owners are con­ thirty votes in Mississippi you can
crop. The local cannery is ready to gratulating themselves that it wasn’t understand the tremendous enthu­
write contracts with farmers who Burleson who managed their prop­ siasm Senator John Sharp Williams
has for extending the boon of de­
have the right kind of ground,, guar­ erties during the war.
mocracy to the rest of the world
anteeing for a number of years, a
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return of $100 per acre for berries.
The President had a hard job try­ through the vindication of the Four­
That beats .raising wheat or any ing to keep the lid on the treaty, and teen points. If this is not the expla­
other grain crop. A man with a forty didn't succeed. Perhaps this is a new nation of the Senator’s enthusiasm
acre farm can get his living off the day, when the people don’t want for the Smuts covenant it must be
his declaration on the floor of the
farm from the cows, chickens and any more secret
diplomacy.
i
Senate
some months ago; "We are
garden and get an income better
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than the average business orprofes-
Major General C. C. Williams, all free-born Englishmen.”
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sional man’s besides if he will get in­ chief of ordinance of the United
to the berry business. The.local can­ States army, states that the money
Years ago Mr. William Allen
nery manager says he can see no expended by the United States on or­ White attracted some attention by
limit to demand for the canned pro­ dnance during the war would re­ publicly asking and answering the
question, “What is the Matter with
duct.—Gazet te-Times.
build New York City twice.
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Kansas?” It might be profitable at
Out
of
416,809
enlisted
men
329,-
the
time to ask, and it would
Must There be a Second War in 716 left Australia for overseas up to not present
be difficult to answer, Wha^ is
Germany?
the conclusion of the war. Their to­ the matter with Germany’ Why Is
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Germany’s defiant acceptance of tal battle casualties (In all theatres, it that she makes so monstrous a to-
the peace terms, its procrastination were just under 220,000 of which do over the terms of peace prescribed
in signing, the apparent weakness of about 68,060 were killed or died of by the Allies; tearfully, passionately,
truculently protesting against them
the present government, the sinking wounds.
' as something the like of which was
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of the interned German ships in
We dreamed that we were at a min­ never known before? The reason is,
Scapa flow, the burning of French
battle standards and renewed rioting strel show, and that one endman that Germany has never yet been
in Berlin and Hamburg—are omin­ asked. “Why did de New Freedom made to realize that she is beaten in
ous. Bad faith is rampant and the a-1 cut down de duties on Florida fruit the war. She thinks that terms ought
lied statesmen are apprehensive of a and take good care of de Texas An­ to be granted to her as the victor,
coup d’etat by the militaristic ele­ gora goats?” "Because, sah,” replied not as the vanquished; or at any rate
the other endman
"Angora goats that the war ought to be regarded as
ment that brought on the war.
Declarations attributed to Hinden­ am gen’lly property of Southern a drawn game, to be followed, as
burg are disquieting. He is reported gentlemen, sah, and right smart of President Wilson said, by "peace I
in a Berlin newspaper to have said de Florida fruit growers is Republi­ without victory.” That is the feeling
that In an event of resumption of cans, sah.” What queer notions pass that prtvallB in Germany, and it is a
hostilities theGermans would be able through our heads while we are in bad thing for the Germans them-
to reconquer Posen and maintain the dreamland. Can that have been the 1 selves as well as for the rest of the
’world.—Harvey’s Weekly.
frontiers to the east, but hardly reason?
What the Editors Say
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T
Let us explain this Service to help relieve you
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ROLLIE W. WATSON, The Insurance Man
We write ALL KINDS of Insurance and give YOU SERVICE.
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34 J and Mutual.
Tillamook City, Oregon.
Nat®®ci;Bid.
0R. O..’L. H. HOHLFELD
VETERINARIAN.
Bell Phone—2F2
Mutual Phon»
Tillamook
Oregon.
AVID ROBINSON, M.D ,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
VHE UNIVERSAL CAR
NATIONAL BUILDINC»,
TILLAMOOK
OREGON
The Ford Sedan is the favorite family car, seats five
comfortably. While an enclosed car with permanent top,
it has large windows, and may in a minute be chaged to
a most delightful open car with always a top protecting
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dust-proof, water-proof, cold-proof. Finely upholstered
Equipped with electric starting and lighting system. A
real family car. Anybody can safely drive it. It has all
the conveniences of an electric car with the economy
which goes with Ford cars, low cost of purchase price,
small cost of operation and maintenance. Won’t yo»
come in and see us about it.
•
T..BOALS.LM.D.,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Surgeon S. P. Co.
(I. O. O. F. Bldg.)
Tillamook
Oregon
TDOBERT H. McGRATH,
”*■
C ounsellor - at L aw ,
ODDFELLOWS’ Bl' I LDIN7
TILLAMOOK, OREGON.
PoRTIAND OFFICE
1110 W ilcox B li >.
TILLAMOOK GARAGE
Tillamook -
ARL X HABERI.ACH
Oregon.
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
T illamook B ixkk
ìli
Oregon
Tillamook
III *>
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ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
COMMERCIAL BUILDING,
FIRST STREET,
TILLAMOOK,
OREGON
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