TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT JUNE 26. 1919. £JR. O.. L. H HOHLFELD, COAXING YOU TO SMILE. ------o------ Nobody Home. HE FOOLED HIMSELF ------- o------- 200th Anniversary of Mother Goose VETERINARIAN. "It is an American characteristic,” Ryine» Recalls theu Origin. Bell Phoue— 2F2 Mutual Phone deciares President Bovard of the Uni­ ------ o versity of Southern California, "to ignoia things that are close at hand and to strive for what is Just beyond our reach. The New Yorker dashes AVID ROBINSON, M. D . across the country to see Los Ange­ les and the Yosemite and never sees PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Niagara Falls and 1 know several people here in Los Angeles who have NATIONAL BUILDING, climbed the Alps, but never been to TILLAMOOK OREGON. Catalina. And take our newspapers. We read them every day, and some­ times twice. Yet how few know any T. HO ALS, M.D., thing about them. Too many of us are Inclined to be like the know-it-all PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. woman who read from her evening paper that John Smith died Saturday Surgeon S.P. Co. 'But he died Friday' interposed her husband. 'He died Saturday' inter­ (I. O. O. F. Bldg.) posed his wife; ‘it says so here. I Tillamook Oregou thought it was Friday myself, but 1 went out and bought six more copies OBERT H. McGRATH of the paper to be sure and it was the same in all of them, and they C ounsellor - at L aw , wouldn’t make the same mistake six times.” Tillamook Oregon. ODDFELLOWS’ BUILDIN J TILLAMOOK, OREGON. P orti and O ffice 1110 W ilcox B ld . £»ARL haberlach ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. T illamook B iock Tillamook Oregon KHSTER HOLMES, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW COMMERCIAL BUILDING. FIRST STREET, TILLAMOOK. OREGON . QR. L. L. HOY, PHYSICIAN AND SURGE! N T illamook B lock , Tillamook, - - Oregtn. c. HAWK, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON Bay City H - Oregon tT. BO'l i'S, ATTORNEY-AT LAW. Complete Set of Abstract Bo. ks in Oflice. Taxes Paid for Non Residents T illamook B lock , Tillamook .... Both Phones. Oregon TURNER, EYE SPECIALIST. PORTLAND — OREGON Regular Monthly Visits to Tillamook and Cloverdale. \WATCH PAPKE FOR DATES. ip M GOYNK, ATTORNEY-AT LAW. F jJSh Office: OeroeiTH gCouirr Tillamook - - O. »gon. JOHN LELAND HENDERSON. ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT-LAW T illamook B lock , ------ o------ The Discovery of America. A schoolboy in London turned this in as a composition on Christopher Columbus: Columbus was a man who could make an egg stand on end without crushing It. The King of Spain sent for him and asked him: “Can you discover America?” "Yes," Columbus answered, "if you will give me a boat.” He got his boat and sailed in the direction he thought America was. Reckless Waste of Tax Money by The sailors mutinied and insisted Democratic Party. there was no such place as America, ------- o------- but presently the pilot cameto him Washington, June 23rd—"Since I and said introduced a resolution here the "Columbus land is in sight.’.” other day," said Representative "Well, its America,” Columbus Blanton ot Texas, Democrat, "to ap­ point an auditor to audit the ac­ *When the boat neared the shore counts and expenditures of the Unit­ olumbus saw a group of natives. ed States Employment Service I un­ "Is ibis America?" he asked them. derstand that there has been dismis­ “Yes” they replied. sed from that service within the last "I suppose you are Indians?” Co_ tew days quite a score of employes mibus went on. on big salaries, including the sister "Yes” the chief answered, “and of the director of that department, re you Christopher Columbus?” who last July carried a book in her "1 am.” pocket w hich authorized her to go to The Indian chief turned then to his any railroad station in the- United impanions and said: States and sign up a slip and call for "The Jig is up. We are discpvered transportation. She used that book in t last." New York on the 4th day of last ——o------ July to get transportation and pull­ After Demobolization. man service for three different peo­ "Demobolization,” said Senator Mc- ple from New York to Atlantic City, Juntber, "will cause queer liappen- and on the 7tfi day of July transpor­ ngs in the business world. A busi- tation and pullman service tor her­ less man told me the other day that self from Atlantic City back to New liter demobolization he expects to la­ York. That is a practice I want to me his orders in some such style as break up in this government. And I his: ‘Captain Jones, will you kindly want to say in breaking It up I am isk Major Smith to remember the just as loyal a Democrat as there Is nuuthly trial balance, and tell Gen­ on the floor of this house. eral Robinson to send a statement to "Mr. Densmore has the right to itoxon Bunds. I’d like lieutenant employ his sister. Other members or Siown. by the way. to tidy up my officials of that Labor Department have tlie right to employ their wives, ------- o------- if they can give just as good service as anybody else. But when they get A Regular Superman. A faun hand who had worked to riding around over this country ¡very day in the week from dawn till on Government transportation, if ate at night, finishing the chores by you please, from Washington to the antern light, went to the, farmer at California coast, and from New York he end of the month and said: I’m to Atlantic City, and to the var­ ;olng tc quit. You promised me a ious watering places of this country in the summer months. I want to iteady Job of work." “Weil, haven’t you got one?” was know it.” This scoring of reckless use of he astonished reply. "No”, said the worker. “There are government money by Blanton led of four hours every night I to much debate in the house. He was have anything to do except fool himself assailed for nepotism by ad­ ministration democrats who resented my time by sleeping.’’ what he said about high salaries, needless employes and kindred mat­ ters. Blanton admitted his own sons Bolsheviki Cynicism. “The Bolsheviki” said Uncle Joe were employed, one as a page in the at a Danville dinner, “take a House and one as a clerk In hiH of­ yuical view even of marriage, V Ut- fice. This, however, has nothing to le boy said to one of our Danville do with tlie employment ot a vast riki the other day, "Father, force ot needless clerks and other what do they call a man who isn’t employes in the various executive de­ narried?” “A bachelor,” my son,” partments. Well what does a man call himself Iter he's married?:’ "My to.i J’l hate MAKE WORK EASIER. ------ o------ o tell you." ♦ Pat and the Phantom. Tillamook - - - • Oiegou ROOM NO. 261. An Irishman, awakening in :ho night, saw in his room what he took to be a phantom. He seized a shot­ gun, fired at the ghostlike object, then went buck to sleep. The next morning he found that the ’phantom' was nothing but his shirt which he had hung over a chair. PERFECTLY "What did you do, Pat, when you found out your mistake?” asked a SIMPLE friend to whom he told the story. “I knelt down," he answereJ, "and SIMPLY thanked the Lord with all my heart PERFECT. that 1 was not inside my shirt when I fired." r?-*- OU, BeKa and all kind, of Sewing ------ o------ iMn-k’— agpplie», Repairing a apecialty.F New Home Users k are quality «tasers. \ For Sale By____ SHARFF lb DUBIVER 172 3rd Street NEW HOME SEWING MACHINE COMPANY. California. San Francisco H, T. Bolte, Pre».. Attorney ■ t-Law John Leland Henderaon, Sec­ retary. Treaa., Attorney-at- Law and Notrary Public. Tillamook Title and Abstract Co. Law I Abstract*. Real Estate Insurance. Both Phor.ee TILLAMOOK, UMIGOR. This year, 1919, replete with cen­ tennials and anniversaries, maika al­ so the 200th anniversary of Mother Goose ihymes. The tirst book of the nursery rhymes which for genera­ tions has been lisped by all the world's children was printed in 1719 uy Thomas Fieet, a Boston publisher who intended only to ridicule the author ol tlie verses. Mother Goose, so the story goes, was the mother-in-law of Fleet, and the rhymes she composed were made up for the delight for her Infant grandson. The practical minded Bostonian priutei wearied of the grandmother s chanting», anti when she refused to be silent Fleet deter­ mined to punish her by letting the »orld ti ad her silly verses and laugh at her. So each evening lie secretly listened to the songs, wrote them down uiid made them into a little book, which he called, "Songs for tlie Nursery, or Mother Goose’s Melodies tor children." History does not tell whether Grandmother Goose was annoyed at the suuueu publicity she received, but it is certain that the publisher was astonishe'd at the result of his scheme lor revenge. Instead of ma­ king his mother-in-law an ob’ject of ridicule he provided her with such undying fame that by many she is considered a lvgendary character, an American myth. According to Rule. “The German has a holy reverence for rules and regulations.” said Ad­ miral Sima in a recent talk with a London writer. "One of our Yankee destroyers took a U-boat crew pris­ oner. Among them was a particular­ ly square headed, lantern-jawed Ger­ man, obviously a country bumpkin before he degenerated into a pirate. A’midsnipman thought he’d rag the Boche a bit- particularly as he dis­ covered he could talk English and said to him: So, Fritz. I guess we’re not going to do a thing to you. You’re going to be tarred, feathered, shot, hamstrung, and pitchhed over the side of the boat. That’s all!’ Frltx was not especially dazed by this program, but invinced efficient Interest In it to Inquire: Did you say I wan to be drowned in the water also, yesf’ ’You’ve got me the firHt f timé, kid,’ said the middy. ‘Veil, all right.’ said Frltx, resignedly, ’vat- ever U de rule.” Dry, Comfortable Feet and Legs Make The Day’s Hard Work Easier It certainly makes a big difference to your health and pocketbook, when your feet and legs are snug and warm in sturdy U. S. “Protected” rubber boots. Seas may rage, spray may pelt—but heavy service, double-duty “U. S.” is reinforced for hard usage and wards off wet and chill. There’s comfort, economy and thorough reliability in (J. S. “Protected” rubber boots. They outwear ordinary rubber boots because they are built staunch and true by patented process. During the war the Government probably used more U. S. “Protected” rubber boots than of all other makes combined. The “U. S. Seal”—,trade mark of the largest rubber manufacturer in the world is on every pair of “U. S.” It is placed there for your guidance and protection. Look for this seal. Wear the kind of U. S. “Protected” rubber boots that your needs require. Your dealer has it or can get it quickly. United States Rubber Company New York First Offering of Treasury Stock Roosevelt Divide Mining Company. $10.00 A SHARE $1.00. One of our most successful financers says. "The time to get into any enterprise is in its early stage».” Th: history of the properties of the Divide District has already proven the wisdom of this. Stocks that sold for a few cents a share 30 and 60 days ago have since doubled and trebled, some of them several timse. THIS IS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO JOIN THE WINNERS. Roosevelt Divide owns shout 60 acres joining the Sunbeam and but a short distance from the Sutherland. The surface showing of this property is good, and there is every reason to expect it to become one of the big producers. Application will be made to list on the San Francisco Stock Exchange. Officers of the Company—R. S. Berney, President; Fred Strassberg, Vice-President; Milton Detch, Secretary; Geo. A. Foster, Treasurer and Manager. Mr. Foster is State Representative from Churchill County, and Mayor of Fallon. Fred Strassberg is a prominent business man of Churchill County, and until recently connected with the Churchill County Bank as Assistant Tillamook People Are Pleased to Cashier. Mr. Detch is one of the best known mining attorneys in Southern Learn How it has Been Done Nevada. Mr. Foster, known as one of the livest wires i the state, has been It’s pretty hard to attend to duties in the mining business for over 30 years, and enjoys the confidence of all With a constantly aching back; who have ever had dealings with him. With annoying urinary disorders. Write orders and make checks payable to Doan’s Kidney Pills make work RICHARDSON & FOSTER. FISCAL AGENTS easier for many a sufferer. TONOPAH - - - NEVADA. They’re for bad bacluc For weak kidneys. Here is convincing proof of merit. Jack Mott, 818 Hayter St. Dallas, Ore., says: "I took Doan's Kidney Pills several years ago when I was having backache and other kidney disorder. 1 blame the trouble to the nature of my work. Constant strain and neglect caused my back to give out. Doan's Kidney Pills relieved me finally. My back soon felt as strong as ever and my kidneys were nor­ mal.” Price 60c., at all dealers. Don’t simply ask for a kidney remedy—get Doan's Kidney Pills the same that Mr. Mott had. Foster-Milburn Co., Mfgrs., Buffalo, N. Y.—Pd. Adv. Sold by Tillamook Feed Company. C. 0. & C. M. Dawson Conover & Cttndit. Geo. R. Edmunds, Tillamook, Oregon A. Anderson, Wheeler, Ore. W. A. Rowe, Brighton, Oregon. Wilson & Co., Beaver. Mohler Supply Co., Mohler. Chas H. Jones, Bay City, Ore... All coffees will be higher in price. FISH BRAND , REFLEX SLICKER Waterproof Dr. E. L. Glaisyer, VETERINARIAN, Absolutely. fit and good feel put you at ease on any job that turns up. County Dairy Herd Inspector I HELL’PHONE. MAIN 3 MUTUAL PHONE. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED A J TOWBR CO BOSTOM DELCO-LIGHT The complete Electric Light and Power Plant Plenty of bright, safe clean electric light. No more hot, smoky lamps. ACKLEY & MILLER Tillamook Garage, Tillamook Oregon. 8 Have Your Garments Dry [ Ornamental Fire Place» Built of Brick and Stone, All Fire Cleaned. Places absolutely guaranteed not to smoke or money re­ funded. Brick work of all kinds done on short notice. We make a specialty of re­ pairing smoking Fire Place*. RALPH E. WARREN, TILLAMOOK. ORE. EXPERT DYEING. Agency of M. Paumies ’ Dye House. Butte, Montana. § K The Pacific Cleaning & Tailoring Co. § Call 31 J TILLAMOOK, ORE. Mail Order Dept. 3 j2S25H5i5ZS2SZ52S252S252SH5252525?S2SHS25252SZS2S252SZS25HS252S2S2SZ5