TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, MAT 22, 1919
COAXING YOU TO SMILE.
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Cause for Dismissal
"I hear the grocer fired you for
swindlin' him,” remarked John Mc-
Feliue to his friend recently. "It's a
lie.” returned the latter. "He axeu
' me to put a junk of lead under one
i of the scales an’ I done it, an* then
in a few days when he examined ft
gave me the run.” "Did ye not fasten
the lead on properly, or what?" ask­
ed McFeline "Oh I fastened it on
right enough.” was the reply, “but it
was under the wrong side of the
scales I put it, an' it weighed again- .
• I
st himself.’ *
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BUILDING UP TILLAMOOK
F you were to look under and behind the dairy­
ing, • uianufacturinir, farming and business
structures of Tillamook County—you would in a
very treat many instances find evidence of that co­
operation which the FIRST NATIONAL BANK
is both able and willing to extend its patrons.
If you would trow up witti the community and
this bank—open an account here NOW.
I
But Not a Joy Forever.
DIR ECTORS :
A. H7 Hunn, f armer.'
P. Heisel. Farmer.
C. J. Edwards,Mgr. C.PowerCo. J. C. Holden, Vice Pres.
B. C. Lamb. Hui'.ding Materials. John Morgan. Farmer.
W. J. Riechers. Cashier.
.
Young Tom Toots was in the coun­
try and had been invited to the beau­
tiful home of a sweet young thing
named Agnes.
"Whit a charming place,” he said,
enthusiastically, to Agnes's proud
paternal parent. "Does it go as fur
as those woods over there?”
“It does” remarked the somewhat
unsympathetic father.
"Ah”, said Tom, still cheerily, 'and
to the old stone wall over there, sir?’
"It dpes,” came the gruff answer,
“and it goes as far as the river on
the south and to the main
the north.”
"Beautiful!" put in Tom.
"Yes" went on the old man, “but
it doesn’t go with Aggie!”
You Can “Beat” the Weather
When You’re Wearing “U. S.”
Home, Sweet Home
No matter how bad the weather or how sloppy the deck or wharf, your
feet and legs will get the best possible protection in U. S. “Protected”
rubber boots. They are specially built for hard wear and rough usage.
With dry and warm feet and legs you can stand a lot of punishment.
Your work will be easier.
U. S. “Protected” rubber boots give you real protection. During the
war the Government probably used more u. s. “Protected” rubber
footwear than of all other makes combined.
Be U. S. “Protected,” then, and safeguard your comfort and health.
There’s a “U. S.” boot exactly suited to your needs. Your dealer has it
or can get it quickly.
To be sure of “U. S.,” look for the “U. S. Seal” on every pair. It’s th«
trade mark of the largest rubber manufacturer in thé world.
%
The burglar had entered the house
as quietly as possible, but his shoes
were not padded, and they made
some noise. He had just reached the
door of the bedroom when he heard
some one moving in the bed, as if
about to get up, and he paused. The
sound of a women’s voice floated to
his ears. "If you don’t take off your
boots when you come into this house’
she said, "there’s going to be trouble,
and a lot of it. Here it’s been raining
for three hours, and you dare to
tramp over carpets with your muddy
boots on. Go downstairs and take
them off this minute.” He went d<#.n
stairs without a word, but he didn't
take off his boots. Instead he went
straight out into the night again,
and the pal who was waiting for him
saw a tear glisten in his eye. "I just
can't bear to rob that house,” he
said, "it reminds me so of home.”
Diplomacy.
\
United States Rubber Company
■
The firstNationalBank
* * Red Crown” gives greater mile-
age because it u correctly made,
straight-distilled, all-refinery
gasoline. Look for the Rea
Crown sign before you fill.
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(California)
Tfte Gasoline of Quality
S?i25H5HSB52SaS2SH525HS2S25ZSB52SZ525B5Z5ES252SH52S25BSH5H5a
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3
Illi II
Have Your Garments Dry
Cleaned.
EXPERT DYEING.
"That young man doesn't seem to
know when to go home,” exclaimed
the grouchy father.
"It was my carelessness," declared
Gwendolyn.* T asked him to explain
§
Agency of M. Paumies ’ Dye House,
the League of Nations."
K
Butte, Montana.
"What has that to do with it?”
"You know it always takes three or
four hours to explain the League of
TILLAMOOK, ORE.
Nations, and even then there will §
probably be a great deal that re­ [fl Call 31 J
Mail Order
mains to be Baid on future occasions.’
H5BS2525iSH5a5aS25a525a5a52Sa5Z5a5Z5a5H5aS2S2Sa525ESHSaS2
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’
S The Pacific Cleaning & TailoringCo
Dept.
Right Back At Him.
ABORTION DISEASE
Can be controlled by early injection with the
Serum Treatment
This should be attended to before breeding, or
within three months after breeding
For further information call on
Dr. E. L. Glaisyer,
The Idle Rich.
County Herd
Inspector.
Tillamook, Oregon.
box of Doan's Kidney Pills, I felt as
well as ever."
Price 60c., at all dealers. Don't
The Mistake is Made By Many Tilla­ simply ask for a kidney remedy—get
Doan's Kidney Pills—the same that
mook Citicena.
Mrs. Chase had. Foster-Milbourn Co.
Look for the cause of backache.
To be cured you must know the Mfgrs., Buffalo, N. Y.—Pd. Adv.
cause.
Democracy for Export.
If it's weak kidneys
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You must set the kidneys working
Dr.
W.
A.
Brazier,
first lieutenant
right.
A resident of this vicinity shows in the Medical Reserve Corps U. 8. A.
a colored physician who was render­
you how.
Mrs. Kenneth Chase. 1214 3. Riv­ ed good service among the negroes of
er St., Newberg. Ore., says: "My Bogalusa Ala., in connection with
back ached all the time and my kid­ the Liberty Loan, Red Cross, W. 8. 3.
neys acted irregularly. My feet and and other patriotic movements dur­
ankles were so badly swollen that in ing the war to save the world for de­
the morning, I couldn't get my shoes mocracy, was notified recently, along
on for several hours. I felt generally 1 with seveial negroes accused of plan-
depressed. The first few doses of ; ning to form a negro dabor union, to
Doan's Kidney Pills helped me won­ ' leave Bogalusa by sundown on penal­
derfully. My back stopped aching, ty of violence. Ubder Dr. Brazier's
my kidneys acted more regularly and leadership the negroes of the locality
the swellings in my feet and ankles had more than doubled every reque. t
went down. After I had taken one I for war work and subscriptions made
ALL WRONG.
A man owned a big black cat that
used to sneak off to the butcher»!
and steal meat. The butcher warned
the man to keep his thieving cat at
home, but no attention was paid to
the warning. Finally the butcher de­
clared: "If that pesky cat steals any
more of my stock I'll poison It.” A
few days later the cat made off with
a leg of lamb and the butcher, true
to his word, sprinkled bits of poison­
ed steak about. Next morning the
cat lay cold and stiff before its mas-
[ter's door. The cat's owner waited
until the butcher shop was crowded
•with sausage buyers. Then he tuck­
ed the uucasa under hie arm and
I strode into the crowd, "Here you are
John," he cried slamming the dead
¡cat down on th« chopping block be-
: side the «sausage machine. "That's
seventy-eight. I'll have the other
twenty-two in before the day’s over.
of them. An agent of the National
Republican in Mississippi writes that
he is afraid to work because two col­
ored women were recently whipped
in the community for selling a news­
paper from the north in which the
kind of democrats you spell with a
capital “D", were criticised. When
Mr. Gompers and Mr. Wilson have
completed the job
of saving the
world for democracy at Paris, they
may give some thought to the task of
introducing it gratually into the
states dominated by their associates
in Democratic party leadership. And
maybe they won’t.
For Bilious Trouble.
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To promote a healthy action of the
liver and correct the disorders caused
by billlousness. Chamberlains’ Tab­
lets are excellent. Try them and see
how quickly they give you a relish
for your food and banish that dull
and stupid feeling.—Adv.
The teacher asked his pupils to
write an essay, telling what they
' would do if they had 6 million dol­
lars.
Every pupil except little William
Powers began wr iting immediately
William sat idle, twiddling his fing­
ers and watching flies on the ceiling,
i Teacher collected thq papers and
William banded In a blank sheet.
"How is this, William?" Asked
teacher. "Is this your essay? Every
other pupil has written two sheets
or more, while you have done noth­
ing"
'
„
"Well’ replied William, 'that s
what I would do if I.were a million­
aire.”
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Matter of Companion.
The Tillamook Transfer Co., has
contracted the wood output of the
Coats Lumber Co., Mill. If the wood
supply from this plant is not suf­
ficient for the local demand we will
fill orders from other sources.
Place your orders for wood with
uh .
TILLAMOOK TRANSFER CO
LIBERTY T
Dr. E. L. Glaisyer,
VETERINARIAN
It's all a matter of comparison, ac­
cording to H. T. Webster, the car­
toonist, who told the following as
proof of his assertion: "Sharpnel
shrieked all about. Bombs dropped
HELL PHONE. MAIN
from the sky and every minute or so
a German shell burst over head. Sud­
denly one Yank burst into a fit of
laughter. S'matter Buddy?’ his mate
asked, fearing that he had suddenly
gone insane. 'I was thinkin'. Bill,'
If I Were a Fanner.
answered the other, between chuck­
les of the runt that held me up one
If I were a farmer I would keep at
night in Memphis with a 22-callbre , hand a few reliable medicines for
revolver.”
1 minor ailments that are not so ser-
| ious as to require the attention of a
The "idealist” who made so much i physician, such as Chamberlain's
of refusing Italian Flume to Italy I Colic and Diarrhoea Remedy for
preserve a loud silence on the ques- bowel complaints,
tlon of handing Chinese Shantung to
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for
Japan. It's more fun being a Croat coughs, colds and croup.
than a goat, however, and Sumauris
Chamberlain’s ltnament for spruins
seem to be more numeious than Su- bruses and rheumatic pains.
marltans at the present conference. I By having these articles at hand it
County Dairy Herd Inspector
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MUTUAL
PHONE
would often eave the trouble of a
trip to town in the busiest season or
In the night, and would enable me
to treat slight ailments as soon as
they appear, and thereby avoid the
more serious diseases that so often
follow.- Adv.
Three thousand revenue officers
will be appointed, to enforce the pro­
hibition law. Rain makes corn, corn
makes whisky and whisky makes
jobs for deserving Democrats. And
ft's a wet season
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