TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT .. Scraps of Papa. . 1 1 .'LT ■ ■' TS In the next Democratic national con­ vention golg to be triplets? and partisan basis. It is time to de­ mand an accounting of the steward­ ship. It la the duty of the Republican Corgreas to make and enforce that demand. The fear that it will do so is doubUese accountable, in part, for j the refusal to call Congress together despite the declared publicity neces­ sary. But come early or come late, it is the duty of Congress to go to the bottom in these matters, fix the blame and suggest the punishment. Do Preaident Wilson and Secretary Baker imagine that they have the right to tell a delegation of Fllipinoe that this country intends to with­ draw its authority from the Philip­ pine Islands? Do they not know that decision of the future relationship of the Philippines is in the hands of ’Congress that will not be dominated by advocates of what McKinley call­ ed the "scuttle policy?” What can COAXING YOU TO SMILE. they hope to accomplish by holdingg up false hopes and making unauthor­ Why She Waited. One of the tunniest cases came be- ized promises’ to representatives of the Philippine Islands relative to in­ [ fore Judge White not so very long dependence, except to stir up unrest ago. A negro had been arrested for beating his wife and in the course of Jn the islands? I the wife's testimony she admitted At a meeting of the Teachers Un­ that he had beaten her many times ion of New York City the board of before. Education “was represented as ty­ j “But why didn't you have him ar- rants, oppressors, a privileged class." rested yourself; why did ‘ ’’ ’ you . J wait Why, that’s exactly what the kids until neighbors got an officer to say about the teachers! The glad come to your rescue," asked time is coming when the question judge. of whether the teachers spank the I "Well, yoah honor”, said pupils, or the pupils spank the teach- , woman, "I done think of it several er. Is going to be settled by a school times, but I aint neber had enuff money all together at one time to Moses got the ten commandments referendum. on Mt. Sinai. Joseph Smith dug up pay his fine.” The Cleveland Plain Dealer is not the Boos of Mormon in New York, -------o------- and the reverent administration or­ alone in holding to the amusing The Last Straw. gan, the Springfield Republican, theory that the way to end "parti­ One night —or morning, rather— says that Lloyd George gave out sanship ' is for every American citi­ Mr. Brown returned Just as dawn about all of the fourteen points but zen to let Woodrow Wilson and the was breaking. the now misplaced freedom of the Democratic party to do his thinking "What time is it?” called seas doctrine three days before Mr. for him. sleepy spouse. | “A quarter to eleven my dear,” re­ Wilson announced them in Congress, At the close of the war the War plied Mr. Brown. when as Ambassador and Official reported, had Eulogist George Herró says, “the Department, It is His wife switched on a light and Senate rostrum became as God's eighteen curry combs on hand: A looked at an alarm clock that stood flaming altar." But, as has before curry comb lasts several years, and near her bed. It showed twenty min­ been remarked in this paper, some the government had less than a mil­ utes past four. people think the fourteen points are lion horses and mules. It Is too bad She took her husband to task; Holy Writ, and some consider them the war department has so much where-upon he put on his hat and success in acquiring curry combs started out in a dignified manner. wholly lot. than in procuring airplanes and "Where are you going?” she asked, Ray Stannard Baker has succeeded heavy attillery. i "I am going away,” he replied— George Creel as the administrations "away never to return! When things The Presidential press agents are have come to suefi a pass in this press agent in Paris, George having come home to keep the propaganda now busy making it equally clear house that you, the wife of my machine going in the United States, that the threat that Mr. Wilson bosom, will rather believe an ordi­ The way to make a professional would pick up his doll rags and go nary, tin, half dollar alarm clock in­ muck rafter begin to squirt perfum- home was unauthorized, and also stead of your loving husband, it is ery Is to put him on the public pay that the clever ruse of our diplomat­ time I left for parts unknown. roll. ic representatives at Paris was re­ ------- o------- sponsible for forcing Clemenceau to The First Motor Van. The friends of the administration the Wilson terms. An ancient motor van usually man­ who propose that instead of calling aged to have a break down about ------ o----- Congress into session President Wil­ Thank God for Burleson, he has once a week and generally at a most son call to begin a self-constituted killed the government ownership inopportune moment In the thick of or Presidentially appointed soviet, movement. The fellow who gets up traffic. One day, after slowly snort­ hand picked from various classes, to in future and 4alks about how the ing its way right Into the middle of map out the reconstruction program, government could run anything at traffic, there was a sudden whirring evidently proceed on the theory that less cost with better service will of wheels, a loud snap, and - the the country Is ready for the bolshev- draw a vegetable shower every time. . weary and worn frame work came to ist system. ------- o— a dead stop. ------- o------- Some time ago George Creel an- | "Look here,” said the policeman After having had complete control nounced that he was going to de­ .on duty to the driver, “this Infernal of the government for six years and louse public life, but at last accounts ■ thing is always breaking down. Let’s falling to give the Phlliplnos inde­ he was still drawing his official see; what’s your number. Yes 1599.” pendence In accordance with the salary. “Darn!” came from the youth who platform pledges while they had the ------- o------- was In charge of the vehicle imme­ opportulty to do it, administration Every few days some leader of the diately behind. “That ain’t its num­ leaders are now promising the Fili­ National Woman Suffrage Associa- ber; that's the year it was built.” pinos early action by a Republican tlon sends President Wilson a mes- ------- o------ Congress, although the Republicans sage thanking him for what he has A Sillier Sone. never have hauled down the flag. done for suffrage. What he has done An Italian soldier, wno had been Quite characteristically Wilsonian. for suffrage, of course, still remains captured by the Austrians, was sing­ Isn’t it? quite a mystery to most pecple. ing the Italian national anthem as ------- o ------- o------- ' he worked. An Austrian officer came The Democratic national platform A majority of the Democrats in the up tp him and said with an Austrian plank against ’government by ln- House voted against an increase in sneer: Juctlon" has at lust had attention at soldiers’ pay when the war was on. "Can’t you think of a sillier song the hands of the administration. but under Champ Clark’s lead they than that?” Post master General Burleson has are loudly demanding "Justice’’ tor The Itulian started furiously at the been getting injunctions agaisl state the soldier now that they are out of Austrian, but caught himself. His governments which have attempted power and the war is over. rage cooled—or seemed to cool—and to prevent the administration’s 20 he smiled. per cent Increase in telegraph tolls. "Certainly. I know a sillier song A Little Matter of Fifty-Seven ------- •------- than that," he said softly. "Would Billions. One of the best Instances of retrib­ you like to hear it?” utive Justice In history is the case of And he began to sing the Austrian The Sixty-fifth Congress appro­ the muck raking and hammer weild- priated fifty-seven billion .dollars. national anthem. Ing magazines, who kept up the ywap The Fifty-first Congress, which was ------- o------- against the Republican party until denounced by Democratic politicians The Choir Got Even. until they got a Democratic Con­ as "the billion dollar Congress,” ap­ Once in a while the choirs get back gress, and (he Democratic Congress propriated 11,035,686,921. The war at the minister. In a Connecticut gave the magazines the zone rate of lasted nineteen months. If it had church the other Sunday morning postage! Moral: Don’t yell too loud lasted four years It is evident that the choir had sung its anthem, as for reform; you might get it. the*l’nited States would have been his text. "Now when the uproar had ------- o *• "busted", for the money spending ceased." The singers bided their Lloyd George complains that while was Just getting well under way time patiently and, when the ser- the peace conference has been on. when th ■ armistice was signed, and mon was over, rose and rendered in intruders have been hanging around the outlay has been Increased even most melodious fashion another the keyhole. What has a keyhole got though the war is over, from the anthem beginning. "Now is the to do with "open covenants openly mere momentum of the spending high time to awake after sleep." arrived at.’ ’ habit. ------- o------- ■—- ■ o "Where are you going John?" Congress has power to investigate Evidently the bolshevik!, who the expenditures made under these -“To raise the wind." have started out to purchase recogni­ vast appropriations, granted with­ "What for?" tion from the United States with con­ out question by the law making ’To meet a draft.’ cessions for certain private Anierl- branch of the government at the de­ can interests evidently believe all Soldiers Held to "Suap" Wilsons. mand of the executive branch, under the mean things Woodrow Wilson ~■ O the spar of war emergency. The peo­ said about our commercialized poli- The needB of the President and his ple have a right to a full accounting. tics and public life In his "New They demand it. They do not be peacy party in the way of photog­ Freedom." grudge a penny of the legitimate ex­ raphy have aroused some little com­ -------o------- penditure; they want the responsi­ ment in Washington since Senator If they keep on killing General bility fixed for every item which rep­ Poindexter, of Washington, has made Zapata the man will soon be as dead resents waste or worse. public a letter from an enlisted man ns Villa. A great hullaballoo Is now being in the army photography section, — ■ o raised by Democratic politicians over stationed at Paris, who says that The friends of the administration "world pioblems.” .They are manl- something more than 81,000 prints who are trying to repudiate Post­ festily anxious tochange the subject. of the President and his party al­ master General Burleson should not They are now vigorously pre­ ready have been made. overlook the fact that the distin­ senting the thought that In the midst The soldier in question complains guished Texan is one of the main of such an emergency as we now face bitterly against being held in Paris, props and pillars of the Wilson cab­ it would bo wrong to rake up the together with 274 other enlisted men inet and that It Is Inconceivable that "old Issues" of the war period. But solely to take pictures of Mr. and he did any of the drastic things the statute of limitations lias not Mrs. Wilson and their party. He the public Is complaining about »with­ been out of these expenditures either wants to come home, he says, and the out the knowledge and consent of morally dr legally. This Democratic officers and men In the unit want to the head of the administration. demand to drop the subject may do likewise. In writing to Senator awaken some echo In certain alleged Poindexter the soldier says: When Attorney General Palmer Republican Quarters. The interests "Major Griffin was the head pho­ nnd former Senator Bailey have fin­ anxious to prevent any probing are tographer on the George Washington ished their debate on "What is a large and Influential. on her first trip. Under his supervis­ Democrat?’’, we hope somebody will "Open the books” and "turn the ion 300 negatives were made of the Come forward with a reasonable ex­ rascals out." these were the Demo­ Presidental party on the way over. planation of "Why la a Democrat?" cratic battle cries of an earlier day. When he landed in France sixteen ------ o------- They have a peculiar timeliness now. copies of each negative were made. nator Pomervne. of Ohio, la for the evidences of waste and worse This means 4,800 pictures. n Into the breach as a Presl- are piled mountain high. The admin­ "An enlisted man of the section candldate by the admlnlstra- istration has turned a deaf ear to had to go with the party to England n effort to head off the the voice of protest. It has refused to and Italy. From these trips were ]ox boom. Secretary Baker divide responsibility. It has Insisted brought back 560 negatives, from ted of of having his hat upon running things on a peisonal which were made 17.000 prints. 900 ■e Ohio’s favorite sons • enlarge nents and 700 postcards.” I A Missouri Democrat who recently delivered an address before the Ro- tary Club, of Dallas, Texas, told hie hearers that if any of them wanted his youngest child to be able to say he had ever seen a Democratic Pres­ ident, he should take the bah« to Washington and let him look at Mr. Wilson before his present term ex­ pires, because the chance would never come again. —o---------- No, Mr. Burleson isn't the whole trouble with the telephone and tele­ graph system, or Mr. McAdoo or Mr. Hines with the railway system. Increased rates and decreased service to the people are the natural results of politicalized bureaucracy. The advocates of political ownership and operation of everything and every­ body are hunting around for goats. That is. perhaps, why Mr. McAdoo got out while the getting was good. But thise men have done as well as any other politician could do in po­ liticalized industry. MAY 8, 191». When Hector was a pup I his kennel was big enough I But Heck grew up When you built your house your fire insurance was ample. But values have soared I Figure what it will cost you to rebuild in case of fire. Then you will realize what you stand to lose. This agency can serve you in two ways—by giving you greater protection and by helping you reduce the chance of fire. This second service is more vital to you than the first. It has been developed by the Hartford Fire Insurance Company and is available to all Hartford policy holders. Let us explain it ROLLIE W. WATSON, The Insurance Man We write ALL KINDS of Insurance and give YOU SERVICE. All Losses Promptly Adjusted and Promptly Paid. Office 43J and^Mutual. National^Bld. 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