TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT JANUARY 9, 1910, DREARY ROUND OF MONOTONY COAXING YOU TO SMILE PERTINENT REMARKS. ------- o------- I Too Much Capital Required. The Kansas City Times says the A Cleveland farmer tells us that he liquor industry is being run over by the prohibition juggernaut. Putting thought he had thought up a great the “jug" in juggernaut, as it were. scheme for keeping order in his household. He noticed that his rather o------ Col. Wm. J. Bryan has emerged obstreperous young son had the qual­ with a platform with thirteen peace ity of thriftness, and resolved to ap­ points. This gives President Wilson peal to It. "Sonny,” he said “I'm going to a clear majority of one over Bryan give you a nickle every day your a and four over Moses. good boy, on condition that every day ------ o------ The Democratic leaders use to de- you are naughty you are to give me clare that it was opposed to a sur- a nickel. Is it a go?” plus in the federal treasury, and now “I’d like to do it dad,” answered we know that this was one matter the kid 'But I can’t afford It. I’ve they were entirely sincere about. only got J1.26 in my bank to start on.” The man who puts racial, religious clasB allegiance or prejudice No Settled Residence above loyalty to the republic as a “Where are you going to lecture whole is an undesirable citizen, not tonight, my dear?” inquired Mr. to use a shorter and an uglier name. Wise of his wife, a prominent equal­ suffrage lecturer. Colonel Deeds says, in behalf of “I am to address the Cooks' and our aircraft efforts: “We set out de­ Housemaids' Union,” she responded. termined to give the allies an engine Her husband laughed. and a plane. This we did.” This is “I see nothing to laugh about. the first official announcement of the Surely they have as much right to number furnished. vote as any other woman,” his wife ------ o------ began, indignantly. There are those who suppose that if "I am not denying that, my dear,” a Zeppelin mail route is established mildly explained Mr. Wise; "but it is between Skagway and Iloilo it will a waste of time. Don’t you realize take a man’s mind off the fact that it that a cook or housemaid never re­ takes three or four days to get a let­ mains long enough in one position to ter from the next county seat. be entitled to a vote?" Mrs. Wise, recognizing the wisdom No one would be at all surprised of this, canceled her engagement by if General Hell, who disappeared telephone. from the dispatches, some months o------ I ago would bob up as commander-in- Didn't Know Her Husband. chief in Germany before the big show The members of the missionary 80- is over. ciety had assembled to turn in their ------- o------- The soldiers are being mustered money, and to relate the difficult and amusing experiences in earning, out at the rate of 150,000 a week, but it is going to be necessary to call each her dollars. “Sister Lamm, how did you earn out the militia to demobolize the de­ your dollars?” asked the chairman. serving democrats who decorate the "I got it from niy husband,” replied federal payroll. the good sister, tendering her money. “Oh, but that is not earning it,” The fact that the government has just bought two million dollars remonstrated another sister. “No,” asked Mrs. Lamm. “Then worth of new typewriters with a few you don’t know my husband.” million dollars worth of disused ma­ Unusual Times E ARE facing the most extraor­ dinary situation in the history of our country. Never before have so many new problems—so many de­ mands for re-adjustment—thrust them­ selves upon men and women for settle­ ment. W Things big with fate are happening and we must know how to adjust our business—our homes—our personal lives to the new conditions. This bank publishes a Monthly Bulletin Letter that represents a very unusual service at this time. In a clear and general way these Bulletins present the pith of facts that influence your welfare. This is one of the ways we are helping our friends and customers to meet the demands of the present and assisting them in their plans for the future. We will gladly mail future copies regularly to anyone free for the asking. Tillamook County Bank Tillamook, Oregon CLOUGH’S CARBOLIC COMPOUND chines in storage, indicates the prob­ able approach of the open season for note writing. For disenfecting where Contagious or infectious diseases are prevailing. CARBOLIC COMPOUND is a power­ ful Germicidal mixture and by its use will improve general stable conditions. ------ o------- Clever Young Lawyer. A clever young lawyer was defend­ ing a man accused of housebreaking. “Your Honor, I submit that my The horrors of war will not be en­ tirely over until Colonel House's client did not break into the house at compendium of human knowledge all. He found the parlor window compiled by a corps of 150 college open , inserted his right arm and re­ professors has been printed and of­ moved a few trifling articles. Now fered to the public at a dollar down my client’s arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish him and a dollar a week. for an offense committed only by one Well, it isn't necessary to go to of his limbs.” 'That argument,” said the judge, Hog Island to find evidences of waste and extravagence, is it? What “is very well put. Following it log­ RELIABLE DRUGGISTS. ically. I sentence the defendant's SrasaszsasaszsasHSHszsHsasasHsasssMasHsasasHfiasïsssasîszsîSHsssHSïszsB the people would like to have is the arm to one year’s imprisonment. He name of some place any department of this administration had to do with can accompany it or not just as he where the word economy had not chooses.” The prisoner calmly unscrewed his been dropped from the dictionary. cork arm, and, leaving it on the desk walked out. The newspaper man chosen chan­ ------ o cellor of Bavaria said he didn’t want to be a statesman—he "wanted to I A soldier’s bride was on a roof gar­ tell the truth". If he could only work den with some gay friends. Suddenly on a CJreeled newspaper a while, he she burst into tears and a letter fell would want to be a statesman re­ from her lap. “What is it?" they gardless of any little incidental qual- cried. “George! ‘Is he dead?” “N— N—No he’s coming home!” ificatlons. C. I. CLOUGH CO. SEE W. A. CHURCH, FOR INSURANCE. Can't understand how a Secretary of the Treasury and Director Gener­ nJ al who has had to retire because he couldn't live in Washington on his salary can retire to a mansion in southern California for three months for a vacation. Looks like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Fire, Life, lacident, Automobile.; 2nd Ave. E, between 1st and 2nd„Sts Successor to J. S. Stephens. I Just as the New York World was getting everybody convinced that the election of a Tammany governor of New York was due to a revolt of the civic conscience, the New York Hotel Keepers’ Association comes along and says it was the publicans that beat the Republicans. flUEX. JVIcHfllR & CO GENERAL HRRDOlflRE Kitchen Ranges and Heating Stoves. Notice of Final Settlement. ------- o----- - Notice is hereby given by the un­ dersigned, the administrator of the estate of Sophia Severance deceased, has filed in the County Court of Till­ amook County, Oregon, his final ac­ count with said estate and that the said Court has fixed the 7th day of February, 1919, ,at the hour of 10 o'clock a.m. of said day and date at the County Court room in the County Court House in Tillamook City, Ore­ and piace place iur for the . gon as the time urne «uu ine I hearing of objections thereto if any, ; and for the final settlement thereof, Dated this 6th day of January, 1919. M. W. Harrison., Admin­ istrator of the Estate of Sophia Severance,, de- ceased. A Paris cablegram says we have “the whole paraphernalia of the na- tional capital transplanted there”, including “all of George Creel's com­ mittee in public information.” We Notice of Final Settlement. didn’t go into this war to get any­ — o Notice is hereby given by the un­ thing out of it and we propose as Point 15 that we cede George Creel dersigned. the executrix of the last and his bureau of the Czecho-Slov- will and testament of John Neiger, aks. deceased. has filed in the County Court of Tillamook County, Oregon, her final account with said estate A die cutter at the Fore River yard land the said court has fixed the 7th of the Bethlehem Shipping Corpora­ tion is declared by Ralph A. Cram, day of February, 1919, at the hour of 10 o'clock a.m. of said day and of the Boston Planning board, to | ¡date at the county court room in the have earned an average wage of |220 ¡county court house in Tillamook City, a day for four months. And just to think the poor workingman would I Oregon, as the time and place for the have starved to death during the war I hearing of objections thereto if any, if he hadn't had Frank Walsh to and for the final settlement thereof. Dated this 6th day of January. 1919. look after him. Barbara Neiger, execu­ trix of the last will and testament of John Neig­ er, deceased. THE BEST STOCK OF HARDWARE IN THE COUNTY. See Us for Prices Before Ordering Elsewhere 1 URMB-SCHRADER co . WHOLESALE AND RETAIL CEMENT, LIME, PLASTER, LATH AND BRICK’; DOMESTIC STEAM AND SMITHING COAL. ®^0WER’8 Warehouse and Oilice t or. Front und 3rd,Ave West. Tillanioi k Or. Notice of Final Account. ¿5ZSS5ZS2S2sís25Z5Z5?S¿5E5ESES25¿SESH5¿52SE525ES25?52S?5E5Z5?52SES2SaS25 FISH BRAND 1 ' k Dr. E. L. Glaisyer. VETERINARIAN, County Dairy Herd Inspector BELL PHONE. MAIN J MUTUAL ’ PHONE. - V REFLEX SLICKER Waterproof Absolutely. Its loose fit and '^ood feel put you at ease on anv job that turns up. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED A J TOW EM CO BOSTON Notice is hereby given that the un­ dersigned has filed in the County Court of Tillamook County, Oregon, his final account as administrator, and that said court has appointed Monday, the 3rd day of February, 1919. at the hour of 10 o’clock a.m., at the county court room in the court house in Tillamook City. Tillamook County, Oregon, as the time and place for hearing objections to said ' final account and the settlement I thereof. I John William Jennings, adntinis- ; trator. with the will annexed, the estate of Hugh Faraday Barnard, de­ ceased. H. T. Botts. Attorney for Administrator. i Sample of Terrible Price That Is Some- timet Demanded by the Moloch of Modem Industry. His face always wore the same ex­ pression—the look of the stoker who comes to the deck for a breath of fresh air. His business was, once every second, to give a certain machine a twist in order that a piece of wire might bend into a circle. He had done this sort of thing so long that two fingers had acquired a peculiar hardened curvature. One shoulder was lower than the other. He knew no other busi­ ness. It seems that the man bad had an unusual boyhood. While others were at their sport, his hours were spent in passionate reverie. The literature of romantic chivalry, the story of fol­ lowers of the Cross, the fine heroism of soul-starving deeds for others claimed him and made him tremulous with as­ piration. He knew of nothing larger, more captivating for him than a life eked out in some remote field of self- sacrifice for the redemption of the hu­ man race. And to tills he pledged him­ self. But then his father died. Ruin was the specter at the funeral feast. An unnamed Nemesis pursued him, try as he might to keep faith with himself and the call of mortal hunger. Self- sacrifice. Yes, the screw-eye is a very useful article.—Boston Transcript FOOD FOR ALL THE WORLD No Fear of Starvation While the Ba- nana Grows With Its Present Wonderful Prodigality. Concerning the value of banana flour there is no possible question. Henry M. Stanley, while he was in Darkest Africa, tested that matter thoroughly. For something like two yeurs It was one of the staple foods on which he lived, and his testimony regarding it is both cleur and convincing, though the flour he hnd was made in the most primitive fashion, by the natives among whom he was living, and was not comparable, save in the single particular of cost, with the flour that has been produced and is being pro­ duced today in New York city. The world's available supply of ba­ nanas is practically inexhaustible. Growing wild as the banana does with all the excessive prodigality of trop­ ical vegetation, In localities far out­ side the ken of civilization, there Is no way of estimating the possible ex­ tent of the annual crop, but It may be said that enough bananas to feed the world grow somewhere each year. Moreover, modern science has dis­ covered the methods by which táis banana flour can be made of the par­ tlally ripe fruit in such fashion that it will keep almost Indefinitely utmost anywhere. Mending a Sagging Door. It rutiled the tidy nature of the handy man to have to pull and jerk at his door to open it, and then to have to coax and push to shut It. ▲ door should fit in its frame, like a stopper in a bottle, he thought A cursory examination disclosed that it struck at the bottom, Of course, if the swelling had been at the top, it would have been so easy just to plane off the surplus. Rut, at the bottom I He tried tightening the screws In the upper hinge, which were quite loose, but found the wood so soft that even longer screws would not hold. There seemed to be nothing to do but re­ move the upper hinge, dig out the soft wood and Insert In its place a piece of new wood, which held the hinge screws flrml.v and prevented the door from sagging. Maxim« for Marksmen. It Is strange that the novice will al­ most invariably try to hit the bull's eye of a swinging target when It is at the center or In the lowest position. This Is decidedly the incorrect meth­ od. The expert knows that the time to shoot is at the end of the swing. In fact, anyone will arrive ultimately at the same conclusion, for a little thought will convince him that a tar­ get is the more easily hit when at a standstill, or at the end of a vibra­ tion. The moving target as a rule has the largest bull’s eye. and is often one of the easiest to strike, if you happen to know how. Simply alm at the point where the center of the target stops and watt till It returns. Then, blng! Raven Not Extinct in England. The assertion, made In some London papers, that the raven 1 b practically extinct in England, has been denied by a dweller on Exmoor. The raven, ac­ cording to this bird watcher, is by no means, rare in Somerset, where he Is often seen and heard. The story of his having a dummy nest to mislead marauders is due to a misunderstand­ ing of the bird's habit of sometimes i building a new nest instead of repair­ ing the old one. Ravens have a place In many old legends in Europe, and cannot be spared any more than can the stork of Alsace and Lorraine. Quite Unprepared. Conlln (visiting sick friend, solemn­ ly)—Don’t think I'm lookin' fr th' worst t’ happen, Dinny, but it's f’r yer own good I’m asking It—are ye pre­ pared? Slavin (very deliberately) — Tls Borry I tint t' say I'm not. Terence, hut av ye'll be good enough t’ call ag'in tomorrah I'll gtmr-rar.tee t’ have a brick handy, ye dumb crape heagnri— Buffalo Express. TWELVE DAYSÎfffËRLY LÖST» ' ___ » Na P atai U Short Period In Which No Record * American Hletory Wae Kept, and the Reason. Twelve days In the history of Amer, lea are blank, an exchange remark*. If you should try to learn wlmt hap- pened in the period between Septem­ ber 3 and September 13, 1752, you will find no records, for those dates do not exist. Under the old style calendar, September 2, 1752, fell on Wednesday. The next day the Gregorian or new style calendar was adopted by Great Britain and her American colonies, and the date set forward to September 14. Up to this time the Julian calendar had been followed by the English- speaking world. As reformed by Jullu» Caesar in 46 B. C. it made the year consist of 365 days and six hours, with an extra day added to February each i fourth year to account for the six hours. This was the most accurate calendar year yet devised, but it was. 11 minutes and 14 seconds longer than the true Bolar year of 365 days, 5 hours. 48 minutes and 46 seconds, amounting to a day in 128 years. Pope Gregory XHI corrected thia about 1582 by dropping ten days from, the calendar and ordaining that on th» one hundredth year in three out of every four centuries the extra day for leap year should not be counted. Six­ teen hundred was a leap year and 2000 will be one, but 1700, 1800 and 1900 were not Even this calendar Is 30 seconds too fast, amounting to a year In 3,323 years, so when 4000 cornea around it will have to be robbed of Its leap year day tq correct this differ­ ence. The Gregorian calendar was adopted In Catholic countries, including France, Italy, Spain and Portugal, in 1582, and within a short time by the Germans. Swiss and Hungarians, but not until 1752 by England and her great colonial empire. TO FILL HOLES IN PLASTER Ordinary Wire Screen Declared to Bo the Best Backing That Can Be Employed. The electrician is frequently re­ quired, in the installation of wires tn finished buildings, to cut holes here and there through the plastered walla or ceilings. Before these holes can be replastered some sort of backing must be put in which will take the place of the lath. The majority of men makd use of old rags or paper for this pur­ pose. The writer, in replastering holes, uses a backing of ordinary wire screen. The wire should be cut about one-quar­ ter inch larger than the hole to b» filled, and when pressed into it will be found to make a good, stiff backing, as the edges hold It firmly in place. Far less plaster will be necessary with this backing than with the others, which will cover the cost of the wire screen, and a more workmanlike and durable job is obtained.—W. F. Perry, in Elec­ tric World. Protection for Birds. Some twenty states of the Union have provided bird sanctuaries, or laws for the protection of migratory birds on their long flights in search of feeding pluces. The matter has even been made the subject of an in­ ternational treaty between the United States and Canada affecting practi­ cally all birds that regularly migrate between the two countries. The treaty provides. In effect, that no bird Important to agriculture because of insect-destroying proclivities shall be shot at any time. Second, that no open game season on any species of game shall extend for a longer period than 8% months. Third, that both the countries shall so restrict open seasons on game birds as to prevent them from being taken during the breeding season. Noah’i Ark In China. A curious Chinese picture Is of great antiquity, and is supposed to repre­ sent Noah’s ark on the top of Mount Ararat. As is well known, the re­ ligious literature of almost every na­ tion and race contains an account of • deluge, but a Chinese manuscript re­ cently unearthed follows very closely the story as recorded in the Bible. It Is particularly Interesting In that the roof of the Chinese ark Is of the gable variety associated with the Noah’s arks which prove such enter­ taining toys for our youngsters. The Chinese picture, however, shows a dou­ ble-storied vessel, and, so far from there being only one window in th» roof, there are windows In every pos­ sible space. It would be Interesting If some Chinese scholar or antiquarian could discover the exact date of th» drawing. Literature's Beginning In America. The North American Review was e» Ubllshed In 1815; Bryant’s “Thana- topsis" was published In 1817; and when the good-natured Monroe, after a presidency that was called “the era of good feeling," went out of office, al­ though Whittier was still a boy oa his father’s farm, and Longfellow and Hawthorne were still undergraduates at Bowdoln college, and Emerson was •till a country schoolteacher, Ameri­ can literature was born. The thing was settled.—Thomas Wentworth Higginson. Her French. “I enjoyed your husband's humor bo much. He Is always chaffing, isn’t her “Yoe; 1 tell him he is quite a chauf- teur."