flLLAMOOK HEADLIGHT. JULY 18,
1918.
UNLIKE OLD TIMES ARE ALMOST HUMAN
City Transfer Co,
Town Meetings Not lust as They Monkey« In Their Native Wilds
Show Keen Wit.
Used to Be.
C. E. MELLETTE. Proprietor.
GUY ALLMON, Manager.
TILLAMOOK, OREGON,
WOOD,
COAL,
STORAGE,
DRAYAGE
Get our Prices on Special
Trips to the Beaches.
Zerolene is the correct oil for aff
type* of automobile engines —
tne correct oil for your automo­
bile.
Get our Lubrication Chart show­
ing the correct consistency for
your car.
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
Had Her Way.
The “T”-Head type engine, illus­
trated here, like all interne/ com­
bustion engines, require« an oil
that holds its lubricating qualities
at cylinder heat, burns cle«n in
the cylinders and goes out with ex­
haust. Zerolens fills these require­
ments perfectly, because ft fs cor­
rectly refined from selected Califor­
nia asphalt-base crude.
(California)
Patience—So Peggy’s engaged to
Paul at last?
Patrice—Sure. She’s landed him.
“You know she always would have
her own way."
“But will she now?”
“Of course, she will. He asked her
to niuiiv the day, and she wouldn't do
It. She insisted that the ceremony
should be performed at night.”
Self-Help.
5
6
ZEROLENE
The Standaiti Oil for Motor Carr
Mr. Shears (In a jeweler’s shop buy­
ing diamonds)—I wish my husbaud
were here.
Jeweler—Is he an authority on dia­
monds, madam?
Mrs. Shears—-Not exactly; he is an
editor, and knows paste whenever he
gees it.—Pearson's.
A Tempting Morsel.
Dr. E. L. Glaisyer,
“My. what a beautiful lion tamer!”
“A stunning creature.”
“The lions show almost human Intel­
ligence.”
“How is thnt?”
“They eye her as If they thought
she looked good enough to eat.”
VETERINARIAN,
County Dairy Herd Inspector
MUTUAL
‘(Don’t you hate a man who insists
on being waited on Instead of doing
things for himself?" asked one woman.
“No," answered the other. “Our
home would be much happier if my
husband didn’t get the lights and the
doorbell all mixed up owing to bls im­
pression that he Is a natural-born elec­
trician.”
An Expert.
H. C. BOONE, Special Agent, Standard Oil Co., Tillamook, Or.
BELL PHONE, MAIN 3
The Reel Thing.
Patience—Who’s the guy I see with
you at the movies every week?
Patrice — Isn’t he the “goods,”
though?
“He’s not so bad. But, tell me, who
is he?”
"Why, he’s my reel steady."
PHONE.
5
Real Gravely Plug has been
chewed for its real tobacco
satisfaction ever since 1831.
It’s made the good old
Gravely way.
Peyton Brand
Real Gravely
Chewing Plug
10c a pouch— and worth it
Gravely lasts so much longer it costs
no more to chew than ordinary pl-ig
P. B. Gravely Tobacco Company
Danville, Virginia
ALEX. M c NAIR & co.
GENERAL HARDUJARE]
Kitchen Ranges and
Heating Stoves.
THE BEST STOCK OF HARDWARE IN
THE COUNTY.
See Us for Prices Before Ordering Elsewhere.
MORE COMING.
W. A. CHURCH,
FOR INSURANCE.
Fire, Life, 13aidant, Automobile.
Possibly It la an Improvement, but
Reminiscent Citizen Seemed to
Speak With a Certain Tlngo
of Regrot.
Clever Manner In Whloh One ef Them
Got ths Best of Crocodile Io
Proof of Thslr Possession
of Intelllgenoe.
,
“How did town meeting go this
year?” Inquired Capt. Dudley Patter-
shall, just home from a voyage end
coining to headquarters for Informa­
tion of what had happened of Inter­
est while he had been away.
“W-a-a-a-a-1, Cap’n," began Grindle
the storekeeper, “th* annual meeting
of the legal voters o' this towu, to meet
an’ act upon certain articles to-wlt,
namely, ain't nothin' what it used to
be. Times is changed wonderfully,
’specially since the war broke out.
“Town meet’n’ uowadays is gettin'
to be as decorious as th' Bible class
which meets in th’ small vestry di­
rectly after preachin’ services, to
which ell adults are invited.
“They ain’t no winders broke, nor
no stove tipped over, nor the mod'rator
don’t have to suspeud consideratiou of
article 21 while he goes down on th*
floor uu’ Impresses some clt-zen us to
proper parl meutary procedure by bang­
in' him over th' heud with a caulkin'
mallet, used in more peaceful mo­
ments as a gavel.”
“Yes, I see it done," put in Captain
Pattershall with a chuckle. “It used
to tuke au able man to do the mod-
ratin’.”
"They was times,” continued Grin­
dle, “when a woman couldn't go by on
'tother side of the street from the
town hull without stlckln' both Angers
in her ears, but this year there was a
row of ’em linin' th' gullery an’ all lis­
tenin’, an' lookin' on un’ knittln’.
We’ve got u woman on the school board
—think o’ that I
“Th’ buttle of Utnpteddlddy wan't
nothin’ to some of th’ vl'lent collisions
between the Boshkelovls from the up­
per end o' th’ valley an’ the clammers
from down on th’ cape—but they ain't
nothin' like that now. Th’ hatqhit Is
burled In a carefully marked spot.
"An’ what do you thluk, cap’n, they
opened up th' meetin’ with prayer, an’
a slick prayer it was, at that. Elder
Bates o’ the Buptis’ church, he prayed
fer ‘Plrut’ Pollard, th’ mod'rator—that
he might preside over th' dellb-ratious
with wisdom au' jedgment. It ulu't on
record that ol’ Pollard was ever
praye*> for before—not that way. Th’
elder prayed for 'most everybody an’
everything an’ then for who or what
he might have left out.”
"Well, wasn't It a better town meet­
ing than the old-fashioned kind?" in­
quired Cap’n Pattershall,
"W-a-a-a-a-1, I s'pose it was, in
speakln' o’ results an’ good blzness
proceedln’s; but there seemed t’ be
somethin’ luckin’—this war has upset
many old an' time-honored instltoo-
tions, somehow.”—Boston Globe.
The nature and character of the
monkey are not changed by any train­
ing that he may receive. All the little
tricks that may be taught him In cap­
tivity will add little to what he Is
accustomed to practice tn his wild
stats. The chief difference to him Is
that he has a different set of victims
to torment Those who have had a
chance to watch the rascals in their
native wilds and native wildness find
them up to the same mischievous
pranks they play In captivity.
Every little while our expedition
passed under trees occupied by troops
of monkeys, some of them of the large
kind that had given the explorers
much trouble on a former occasion.
One large tree iu which they had es­
tablished tlielr quurters stretched Its
branches over a stream twenty yards
or more.
While the leader of the expedition
was watching the antics of the mon­
key!, two crocodiles showed tlielr
heads just underneath and remained
stationary with their ugly snouts
sticking up In the air. Iu various
countries this Is a common dodge of
the crocodiles to entice the moukeys
within their reach, aud It was ex­
pected by the witnesses of this Inci­
dent that one or more of the noisy
animals would fall victims to the
goggle-eyed monsters below, and it
was with considerable curiosity that
the result was awaited.
As soon as the black-looking heads
popped up the monkeys became silent.
Presently one big fellow, evidently of
authority In the monkey republic,
came down to reconnoiter. He re­
turned, and In a few minutes came
back with a long, thin stick lu his
hand and accompanied by about a
hundred of his friends. They began
to chatter and to pelt their foes, but
the crocodiles took no notice. The
onlookers thought they seemed to give
a wink of satisfaction at seeing thslr
silly victims coming within their
reach.
Nearer and nearer they came, until
some of them were barely six feet
above the crocodiles, and the men
watching were expecting every Instant
to see one of them dragged under the
water. All of a sudden the monkey
with the stick leaned over und drove
it Into the ey$ of the crocodile nearest
him. The wounded reptile sank like
lead and was quickly followed by Its
comrade.
There was no mistaking the howl of
delight that greeted this stratagem
and Its success. It was perfectly hu­
man In Its tone and wus taken up in
vengeful glee by all the monkeys tn
the neighborhood. The gravity of de­
meanor with which the old fellow
committed this assault wns laughable
In the extreme. He went to work
with all the caution of an old lawyer,
and when he had inflicted the poke he
hauled himself up with an alacrity
that showed he could form a very
good estimation of the danger thnt
he ran.
Two Brave Marines.
On the first day of February, 1918,
there was au explosion in a seaplane
hangar on an aviation field near Wash­
ington. The explosion started a Are
which set ablaze the clothing of a
chief petty officer of the navy. The
death of the petty officer aud the de­
struction of the costly hungar were Im­
minent. Privates William It. Luwton
und Raymond J. Burnup, United States
marines from the Washington navy
yard, were on duty nearby. Arming
themselves with tire extinguishers,
they dashed to the rescue. The life of
the petty officer was saved and the de­
“The fools are not all dead.”
struction of the hangar prevented. Sec­
“That isn't the worst of It; they retary Daniels wrote a personal letter
aren't all born yet.”
to each of the marines, commending
him for his coolness and presence of
Christening the Baby.
mind In the face of sudden danger.
Brown has a lovely baby Kiri,
Private Lawton enlisted in the ma­
The stork left her with a flutter;
Brown named her "Oleomargarine."
rine corps on August 4, 1914, at Nor­
For he hadn't any but her.
folk, Va. Private Burnup Joined the
soldiers of the sea at Philadelphia on
He Knew.
July 2L 1917.
The Foreigner—You-aw-don't recog-
nize titles of nobility In this country?
Telephones In Canada.
The Rich American—Oh! yes, we do.
A most remarkable increase Is evi­
The women folks can quote their mar­
ket value offhund and call ’em by their denced In the use of the telephone In
Canada during the past five years, ac­
first names.
cording to u report recently laid upon
the table of the house of commons.
Quite Modern.
“I got tired of his electrocuting The number of telephones In use
throughout the Dominion In 1912 was
around."
370,884. while In 1917 the number hud
“What do you mean by that?”
“It Is more up-to-date than to say grown to 604,136. The number of tele­
phone companies operating In 1912 was
that he Is hanging around.”
683, and five years luter there were
1.659 companies in operation. A total
Cruel World.
Diibber—How did he lose his hear­ of 889,572 miles of wire was in use
during the year 1912. In 1917 the wire
ing?
Gabber—Somebody made the re­ mileage was 1.708.202. The capitaliza­
mark that money talks and he tried tion of telephone companies also shows
a great Increase In the flve-yeur period.
to hear it even whisper.
i In 1912 it was $42.278.851, while in
' June, 1917, It was $79,121,702. The
From Experience.
“Why do you say Harold fs of an ' revenue during the same period had
grown approximately $8,000,000. The
ungenerous nature?”
“Because he Is the only man I was number of persons for each telephone
ever engaged to who insisted on get­ in the Dominion In 1912, was 19.3 and
. in 1917, 13.4.
ting back his ring.”
No Greek for Him.
2nd Ave. E, betweea’lst and 2nd Sts.
Successor to J. S Stephens.
VETERINARIAN.
Bell Phone— 33J
Mutual Phone.
Oregon.
Tillamook
ßAVID ROBINSON, M.D,
STEAM HEATED STORAGE.
Experts Say
"ZEROLENE IS BETTER”
—because it holds better
compression, gives better
protection to the moving
parts and deposits less car­
bon.
QR. O. L, HQMUFELD,
“Do you admire the classics?”
"No,” answerer) Uncle Lowbrow.
“When It conies to dancin' gimme an
old-fashioned clog.”
Continuous.
"They used to stop a battle
for breakfast.”
“Now they don't even halt for the
Saturday night bath.”
Greased.
“The trouble with you Is thnt you
don't seize your opportunities.”
"Oh. 1 grnl> at 'em fast enough, but
darn ’em, they're greased.”
Cautious Galveston.
Many persons remember the destruc­
tion of Galveston by a West Indian
hurrienne which blew so hard it forced
the sea up into the streets of the city
and thousands of lives were lost. As
a protection against a similar disaster,
the city built a great sea walL This
year it has begun nearly two miles
more of sea wall which will take near­
ly two yenrs to complete and which
will cost $2,000,00. After the great
storm of 1900. the citizens raised the
site of the city 17% feet by pumping
millions of tons of sand from the gulf.
Galveston has taxed Itself for all theoe
I colossul Improvements— Exchange.
Appearances Were Against Her.
An amusing story was told to me
the other day concerning I.ady Sybil
Grant, daughter of the earl of Rose­
bery.
It appears that her ladyship, who Is
an enthusiastic war worker, recently
assisted In waiting upon some wound­
ed soldiers at u concert and tea got up
for their entertainment.
At the close of the meal one of the
guests, not In the least realizing who
she was, shyly offered her a tip, which
was politely declined.
“I really don’t need It, you know,”
said Lady Sybil smilingly, “I’ve got
plenty of money.
“Is that so?” ex cl a I med the soldier,
In tones of evident surprise, allowing
his gaze to rest on the plain linen
overalls she had donned for the oc­
casion.
"You’ve got plenty of money, have
you?”
Lady Sybil nodded assent.
“■Well, miss,’’ was the somewhat dis­
concerting reply, "you'll excuse tne
saying so, won't you? But—you don't
look It."—Pearson's Weekly.
United States Buys Feathers.
Although the export of feathers
(duck, fowl, etc.) from China its a
whole has decreased somewhat during
the past few years, owing to the elltn
I nation of the German buyers, says a
Shanghai newspaper, the export of
feathers from Chins to America has
shown a great Increase since the out­
break of the war, America liuving
stepped in to take almost the Identical
quantity that Germany bad previously
taken.
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
NATIONAL BUILDING,
TILLAMOOK
OREGOtf.
—
T. BO ALS, M.D.,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Surgeon S.P. Co.
(I. O. O. F. Bldg.)
Tillamook .... ()reg«n
KJ OBERT H. McGRATH,
C ounskulolr - at L aw ,
ODDFELLOWS’ BUILDING,
TILLAMOOK, OREGON.
P orti and O ffice
1110 W ilcox B ld .
QARI. HABERLACH
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
T illamook B lock
Tillamook
Oregon
A^EBSTKR HOLMES,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
COMMERCIAL BUILDING.
FIRST STREET.
TILLAMOOK,
.
OREGON
QR. L. L. HOY,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
T illamook B lock ,
Tillamook,
-
Orege«.
•
T. BUHb
ATTORNKY-AT-l.AW.
Complete Set of Abstract Bo« ks 11
Office.
Taxes Paid for Non Residente.
Ï11.I.ANOOK 11UA.I,
Tillamook .... Oreg««
Both Pilonen.
c - hawk .
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Bay City
Orneos
QR J. G.-.Tl’RNER,
EYE SPECIALIST.
— OREGON
Regular Monthly Visita to
Tillamook and Cloverdale.
P ORTLAND
L WATCH PAPKR FOR DATES.
J OHN ¡LKLANDItHENDKRSO1
ATTORNEY
AND
COUNSELLOR AT-LAW.
T illamook B lock ,
Tillamook *
-
*
'hegi,
ROOM NO. 261.
QK.J. H. GRIDER.
DENTIST.
I. O. O. F. BLDO.
Tillamook
rJ-' Il
-
.
Oregon.
GOYNK,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
Office:
Ol’PosiTK
Tillamook -
.
I | IS
COURT
.
.
O. Igoi
H. T. Botts, , Prea. Attorney
at-Law.
John Leland Henderson. Sec­
retary Tree«., Attorney-at-
Law and Notrary Public.
Tillamook Title and
Abstract Co.
Law
Abatracts. Real Estate,
1 naurance.
Both Phones.
Tlt.LANtXIK—ORKUON.
Tall and Short Brltlehers.
The tallest people In the British
Isles are to be found In the district
of Galloway, In South Scotland, where
records of the stature gives an aver-
age height of five feet ten Inches. The
shortest stature Is found in Wales and
southwest England.
The Queer Sex.
“Wife, I'm afraid I ran't afford new
clothes for you this spring."
“Well, then. Dick, we must move. !
don't mind wearing my old clothes In
a new neighborhood, hut I won't stay
here and wear them."—Boston Evening
Transcript,
Ornamental Pire Placet Buih
of Brick and Stone. Ait Fire
Places absolutely guaranteed
not to smoke or money re­
funded.
Brick work of all Mnda done
on short notice.
We make a specialty of n-
pairing smoking Fiea Placea.
RALPH E. WARRB1
TILLAMOOK, OKK.