■HOCK DER KAISER."
the dope a printer thinks, never come
through
with “ a avu
sou —
— ii it’ a s war-ume
war-time anu
and
. •
-cr- i
j t ,
• .—
Introducing the Original and Famous ' it s up to you to drift in with a little
Meinself und Gott Poem.
I1 kale
--' —we need some more, wind in
the sail—we want to moisten throat
I The original version of “Hoch der and lips and sing more about the
Kaiser,” written by A. McGregor ships we’re building here to carry
Kose during the Boer war, when Oom grub to fight the chap called Kaiser
(Paul went on a mission to solicit Bill—We’ll lick that cuss, you bet we
I ,he aid of Kaiser Wilhelm, and was will and change his name to “Sissor-
I recited in Washington by Captain Bill.” But while we sing another verse
Ifoghlan, of the United States navy just please extract that trusty purse,
I at a banquet, and upon complaint of we need the money, on the square,
Ithe German government a reprimand there’s rheumatism in our hair.
Las administered. It is one of the ' 1
—
Lost famous lampoons in existence
land is a keen satire on the wellknown WORDS OF ADVICE TO THOSE
WHO REGISTERED.
[kaiserly character. The text of the
----- o-----
kpoem follows:
Adjutant General White Says No Use
r Per kaiser of dis fatherland
Writing to Senators and Con­
Vnd Gott on high, all dings command
gressmen.
Ve two—ach! Don’t you understant?
■■■ o-----
Meinself—und Gott!
Adjutant General White sends out
He reigns in heafen and always shall; some valuable information to those
Vnd mine own embire don’t vas who are scheming to avoid being
drawn, he says:
| schmall;
| It is only a waste of postage, letter
E’in noble pair, I dinks you call
paper and time for a man whose claim
Meinself—und Gott!
for exemption from the draft on in­
Vile some men sing der power divine, dustrial grounds has been denied by
Klein soldiers sing “
De
"
Wacht am his district exemption board, or for
Rhein.”
any of his relatives or friends, to
Vnd drink der health in Reihish wine write to his Senator, or his Congress­
Of me—und Gott.
man, or the Provost Marshal General
Dare’s France, she swaggers all or the President of the United States,
aroundt.
~
| , trying to have the ruling of the board
Khe’s ausgespeilt (dots no aggoundt) reversed.
Strange as it may seem, a great
no much, vc tink, she don’t amount—
many such letter have been written.
Meinself—und Gott! '
They have poured in by the hundred
She vill not dare to fight again.
thousands to officials at Washington.
But if she shouldn't, I’ll show her Some of them have come from Ore­
blain
gon.
Dot Elsass (und in French) Lorraine
These letters will do no good what­
Are mein—by Gott!
soever. They will not even be consid­
ered, but will be returned to the send­
Von Bismarck vas a man of might,
Vnd dought he vas clean out of sight; er. If a man having real grounds for
But, Ach! he vas nicht good to fight appeal wishes to prejudice his case
before hand, the surest way for him
Mit me—und Gott!
to do it is to write to his Senator, or
Ve knock him like ci man of schdraw, Representative, or some official in
Ve let him know whose vill vas law, Washington to use his "influence”
Vnd dat vc don’t vould schtand his toward fixing up the exemption.
jaw—
There is just one procedure where­
Meinself—und Gott!
by an appeal may be taken to the
President from the ruling of a dis­
Ve send him oudt in big disgrace;
trict board. That is through the dis­
Ve gif him insuldt im der face;
trict board itself, in the manner pre­
Vnd put Caprivi in his blace—
scribed by official regulations.
Meinself—und Gott!
It must be remembered, however,
Vnd ven Caprivi get svelled hedt,
that only one class of cases can be
Ve very promptly on him set
appealed to the president from the
Vnd toldt him to get up and get— district board. These are cases over
i
Meinself—und Gott!
which the district board has original
Dere grandma* dinks she nicht jurisdiction; that is to say, cases that
originate before the district board,
schmall beer,
and not with one of the local county
Midt Boers und such she interfere;
She’ll learn none owns dis hemis­ exemption boards.
The only cases over which district
phere
boards have original jurisdiction are
But me—und Gott!
those involving claims for exemption
She dinks, goct frau, some ships she’s on the ground of employment in a
got.
necessary industry, including agricul­
Vnd soldiers mit dcr scarlet goat;
ture.
Ach! ve could knock dem! Pouf! like
No claim for exemption on the
dot— .
ground of dependency can be appeal­
Meinself—und Gott!
ed to the president under any cir­
cumstances. The decision of the dis­
In dimes of beace brebare for vars;
trict board in such cases, on which it
I hear de shpear and helm of Mars,
Vnd c: re not for den tousand czars— sits as an appellate board, is final.
There is no further appeal.
Meinself—und Gott!
The following summary of regula­
In fact, I honor efry whim
tions made by the president to gov­
Kith aspect dark and vizage grim;
ern procedure in all cases appealed to
Gott pulls mit me, and I mit him—
him, has been issued by the Provost
Meinself—und Gott!
Marshal General, at Washington,
----- o-----
with the request that it be given the
(Note: "Grandma” was Queen Vic- fullest publicity.
toria of England.)
1. By the regulations of the Presi­ Notice of Hearing of Final Account
----- o-----
dent governing appeals from the a<>
Notice is hereby given, that the un­
tion of district boards, the claim of
Going Some.
appeal must be filed with the district dersigned has filed his final account
----- o-----
board and cannot be received if sent as administrator of the estate of Jes­
(By Charley L. Grant.)
direct to the president, the Provost sie V. Embum, deceased, in the
I The world is moving some, by jings Marshal General, member of Con­ County Court of the State of Oregon,
I—the price of meat and other things, gress, or to any other place than to for Tillamook County, and that such
Court has appointed October 13th
Ihs gone so high by jumps and tilts the district board itself.
2. Papers, evidence, and affidavits 1917, at ten o’clock a.m., at the court
II fellow has to walk on stilts to get
kithin the reach of meat or any other not considered by the district board room of said Court, in Tillamook
Ithing to eat. The kaiser with his Zepp cannot be considered on appeal from City, Oregon, as the time and place
for the hearing of objections, if any,
land Sub has raised a lot of hell with the district board.
3. The only cases in which there is to the said account and the settlement
grub. We tremble at the price of
ppuds—the laundry man has raised an appeal to the president arc cases of said estate.
Dated September 13, 1917.
[bis suds, the barbers say the wartime in which a claim for discharge on the
John Embum, Administra­
lair is making bristles of our hair ground of engagement in agriculture
tor of the Estate of Jessie
which dulls his razors and his shears or industry has been made in the
V. Embum. Deceased.
ad does a lot of things that queers district board. There is no appeal to
the barber game, increasing toil—and, the president from the action of the
too, the price of polecat oil has gone local board in dependency or other TILLAMOOK ASTONISHED BY
so high these war scare days the bar­ cases whose determination is within
MERCHANT’S STORY.
ker says he has to raise the price of the jurisdiction of the local board.
4.
All
attempts
to
appeal
cases
lair cut, singe and Shave to jave him
A merchant relates the following:
from a pauper’s grave. They’ve done other than those involving the decis­ “For years I could not sleep without
way with all our booze and now the ion of the district board on agricul­ turning every hour. Whatever I ate
«an who smokes and chews must ture or industrial exemptions from caused gas and sourness. Also had
•dl to every stnokc and chew a lot of whatever source received; all affidav­ stomach catarrah. ONE SPOON­
its, arguments, evidence,
papets FUL buckthorn bark, glycerine, etc.,
wartime revenue.
matter
not consider­ as mixed in Adler-i-ka relieved me
I The slaughter house has moved to or other
fars, the price of pork is in the stars ed by* the district board; all appeals INSTANTLY.” Because Adler-i-ka
Wid butcher stuff lias gone to stray made to the president direct, or sent flushes the ENTIRE elimentary
Bmewhere along the Milky Way, and to any other official or person in tract it relieves ANY CASE constipa­
I surmise that very soon that gink Washington, will have to be returned tion, sour stomach or gas and pre­
vents appendicitis. It has QUICK­
who stays up in the moon will take to to the sender.
_____
EST action of anything we ever sold.
Searing on his yops some very fancy
Hutton chops. The poultry, too, has
J. S. Lamar, druggist.
10 to 1 Matches.
lit the breeze and way up in the
.; cussed Chamberlain’s Colic, Cholera and
■ghest trees have found a roosting
How many of you have
six­
br their legs—and Mr. Man, the price the sixteen-to-one-match strike
Diarrhoea Remedy.
Ú.
•f eggs has gone so high above the teen to get one light—which has re­
larth and sell for lots more than they cently made its appearance m the
This is a medicine that every fam-
Ire worth. Wheat and corn and oats American market? With about 59'of ily should be provided with. Colic and
Hid rye have got Mount Baker skin- its companions it comes tn a box diarrhoea often come on suddenly
led for high, and even now, the new bearing a vellow label with a three and it is of the greatest importance
town hay has taken wings and flown masted schooner imprinted thereon, that they be treated promptly. Con­
■way, and all that we can do is wish and along the sides reads
sider the suffering that must, be en­
Made
►hen we bethink ourselves of fish, Sweden.” It is of the safety match dured until a physician arrives or
the Sockeye almost failed to soak, variety, and it certainly does not be­ medicine can be obtained. Chamber­
*>d cod, and linn and kelp and rock, lie its name for it is about as safe as lain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea
He humping where the humpback a toothpick. A man pays one cent for remedy has a reputation second to
«imps, with prices going up by jumps a box and jeopardizes his salvation none for the quick relief which it af­
A man today would have to steal everv time he tries to light his
fords. For sale by Lamar’s Drug
■> meet the upward price of veal, and Its flame is as fleeting as a Presiden­ Store.______________ _
i’s as hard as saying prayers to get tial decision, and the presidential sig­
Notice to Dairymen,
1 mess of Belgian hares. The middle nature to the present tariff law which
tan has cornered yams, the law has reduced the duty on matches 50 per
lobbied up the clams, the ducks and cent is responsible for its presence in
I have for sale three Registered
Bull ----------
calves. . They are Qov-
jtese come in by drabs, the subma- our market. It is a Democratic match. Guernsey----
.
enor of the Chene and Yeksa breed­
■nes have killed the crabs. The Jer­
ing. I won three first out of four en­
ky cows with coats of silk, de­
For Sale.
tries in the cow classes Senior and
mand a fortune for their milk, and
Htter-fat and cottage cheese—I never
80 acres, unimproved Alfalfa land, Grand champion cow at Oregon
Fair 1 » 16.
,. . .
_,
Jw such things as these in all my under government ditch four miles
mi.es State
Correspondence solicited.
Inese
•e; though it’s a crime I’m going to From Hermiston—For further infor­
M’e the price on rhyme and prose mation address (owner) P. O- Box calves are priced to sell.
W. A. Goodwin, Cornelius. Wash­
"d ads and little boosts to where I 48, Lafavcttc, Oregon.
ington County, Oregon, Owner and
tn be introduced to one good, old
breeder of Rose City Guernsey Herd.
«Hire meal a day—puffs come higher
Best Treatment For Bums.
•yway. We’ve stinted all that we can
—o-----
Announcement.
the trust has raised the price of
If for no other reason. Chamber­
hnt. so in the high price days to
lain
’
s
Salve
should
be«kept
«J
«*
‘
»7
Mrs. J. C. Holden announces that
the printer he’ll be going some.
household on account of its
she v.ill open her Piano Studio., Sept.
The clothier’s raised the price of tie
in
the
treatment
of
burns.
It
alia
jP’hes. the hosier’s raised the price the pain almost instantly, and nnless 1 for private and class instruction.
Mrs. Holden is a graduate cf the
•hose, the “pantser’s” raised the the injurv is a severe one, heals the
Bee of pants—it only takes a half a i parts without leaving a scan This Dunning Improved System of Music
«nee to see I’m patched from bow Salvei s also unequaled for -h»PP«d Study and will establish classes in
method.
j
‘’■ern. it's taking all that I can earn hands,
I
sore nipples and diseases of this
Anyone desiring further particulars
■Jurnish paper press and ink to print 1 the skin. Urice 25 cents. For sale by
may cal! at any time.
- sheet and so I think that quite a i
*ad of you old ginks who sponge Lamar's Drug Store.
I
PUBLIC SALE
OF
Heavy Milking Registered
JERSEYS
DeaignedTby Rollin H. White, de­
signer of the famous White Motor
Trucks. Mr. White has built the
CLEVELAND TRACTOR toper­
form all of the tnanv tasks requir­
ing power on every farm. He has
made it easy to operate, economi­
cal to run, easy to care for and
absolutely dependable in opera­
tion.
12 H. P. at tke Draw Bar
20 H. P- at the Filley
Thomas Withycombe & Son will SELL at PUBLIC
AUCTION a CAR LOAD REGISTERED JERSEY CAT­
TLE at the FAIR GROUNDS, Tillamook City.
These cattle are the first choice of the herd owned by
Thomas Withycombe A Son, being the senior member of
firm’s part of cattle, who is withdrawing in order to give
the young mem hers of the firm of George H. Withycombe
room to expand.
The cattle are the heavy milking Fontaines, and indi­
viduals of this family have sold for $3,000 to $6,000 each.
The Tillamook people will be able to buy them for
their own price at Public Auction, No disease of any kind
has been in the herd. The herd is under charge of U. S.
Bureau.
The sale will be held on
SATURDAY NEXT,
1917,
At 12.30 P.M. Sharp.
Colonel J. W. Hughes will be the Auctioneer.
Thomas Withycombe, Sales Manager.
Rollie W. Watson, Clerk.
Catalogues can be obtained of Thomas Withycombe at
the Fair Grounds.
High speed, heavy duty 4-cylender
motor. 3 point spring suspen­
sión Weight 2750 lbs., height 52
inches, width 50 inches, length 96
inches, clearance 12 inches, 600
sq. inches traetion surface.
We Carry Complete Line
of Parts
$1185 f. o. b.
Euclid, Ohio.
McNEFF BROS.
Established 1890
Northwest Distributor
Portland, Ore.
Plttark Bit.
References
Bradstreets, Duns or Any Bnnk.
QR. J. G. TURNER,
EYE1 SPECIALIST.
PORTLAND — OREGON.
Regular Monthly’ Visits to
Tillamook anil Cloverdale.
WATCH PAPER FOR DATES.
T BLAND K ERWIN
PIANO INSTRUCTION,
Diploma from Chicago Musical
College.—Beginners receive the same
careful training as the most advanced.
Terms:—$4.00 per months Instruc­
tion.
All lessons given at Studio.
County Representative for the
Wiley B. Allen Co.s’ line of high
grade pianos, player-pianos, Victro’os
etc.
AVIDJROBINSON, M.D.,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
NATIONAL BUILDING,
TILLAMOOK
OREGON.
—
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
Complete Set of Abstractl’Bouks in
Office.
Taxes Paid for Non Residents.
T illamook B lock ,
Tillamook .... Oregon
Both Phones.
T. BO ALS, M.D.,
Makes Clubbing Arrangement With
The Oregon Farmer
Offers Unusue’ Opportunity tc Its Refers
I
«!*
it
MONG our large circle of readers
there are a great many who are in­
terested directly or indirectly in
fruit growing, dairying and ether
branches of farming. All of these
naturally wish to keep in close touch with ag­
ricultural activities throughout the state;
and to know about any fight which is being
waged for the measures Oregon farmers
want and against all sorts of schemes that
are detrimental to the people and agricultural
interests of this state.
A
We have, therefore, made a special clubbing
arrangement with THE OREGON FAR­
MER whereby any farmer or fruitgrower,
who is one of our regular subscribers and who
is not now a subscriber to THE OREGON
FARMER, will be entitled to receive THE
OREGON FARMER in combination
__
with
this paper at the same rate as for this paper
alone.
This offer applies to all those who renew or
extend their subscriptions as well as to all
new subscribers. If you are interested di­
rectly or indirectly in Oregon agriculture,
do not miss this unusual opportunity, but
send your order in now.
THE OREGON FARMER is the one farm
paper which is devoting itself exclusively
to the farming activities and interests of
Oregon. It has a big organization gath-
ering the news of importance
__
to farmers,
dairymen, fruitgrowers,
___________ and
___
__ , stockraisers
poultrymen; and it has the backbone to at­
tack wrongful methods and combinations and
bad legislation, and support honest leaders
and beneficial measures. We are confident
that our readers will congratulate us on our
being able to make this splendid and at­
tractive clubbing offer.
TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, 1 yr $1 50
OREGON FARMER, 1 year - $1.00
$2 50
By Our Clubbing arrangement,
both for •••••• • » • £1*50
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Surgeon S.P. Co.
(I. O. O. F. Bldg.)
Tillamook -
-
.
. Oregon,
w EBSTER HOLMES,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
COMMERCIAL BUILDING,
FIRST STREET,
TILLAMOOK,
OREGON
rp H. GOYNE,
ATTORNKY-AT-LAW.
Office: O pposite C ourt H ouse ,
Tillamook .... Oregon.
QR. L. L. HOY,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
T illamook B lock ,
Tillamook,
-
•
Oregon.
J OHM LELAND HENDERSON
ATTORNEY
AND
COUNSELLOR-AT-LAW
T illamook B lock ,
Tillamook - .
.
• iHegon.
ROOM NO. 261.
C. HAWK
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
....
Bay City
J
Oregon
E. REEDY, D.VM.,
VETERINARY.
Both Phones.
Tillamook .
.
. Oregon.
^ARL HABERI.ACH,
ATTORNEY. AT-LAW.
T illamook B eim
Tillamook
.
.
.
k
,Oregon