Tillamook Headlight, June 12, 1913,
o
*
Moisture, He.t end Mild.w In |„di._
An Appalachian Door.
The rainfall tn India, which all takes
BE A MAN OF ACTION
Bhs Raised All Her Frssh Vegetables.
RAVENOUS ESKIMOS.
Any one of tact and common sense
“My wife raises all her fresh vegeta
It Makes You Fsll Faster I n Boston J""'* ’lthln four or Ave months, con
tributes largely in giving to tbe cli Don't Fall Into tho “I’ll Do It Some van go as he pleases through the dark
bles," remarked the professional funny
Than In Mexico City.
They
Eat
and
Digest
Food
That
Would
est coruer of Appalachia without beiug
Day" Habit.
I' man as he helped his guest to siring
Did you know tbat you “drop" faster mate its peculiar character. The ef
Kill an Ordinary Man.
and continuous
continuous rain
beans and tiny young l««ots
As the
"Some day” is tlie oue day of the molested, says a writer In Outing.
In Massachusetts than in Mexico? fect
th of heavy J ana
rain in
in
We hear much of American dyspep ( apartment was on tbe top floor of a
For instance. If you were to fall from .
. ' .
s t0 Pro<luce a dampness 3G5 tbat has no place in tbe calendar Tact however, implies the will aud
sia. but there is one native race of high building, tbe guest had visions of
a twenty story building in Boston you
. ' “J
qu te ““known in Euroi>e aud is still the most popular day for the insight to put yourself truly In tbe
Imagine yourself America that is certainly not troubled hotbeds and greenhouses on tbe roof.
making disagreeable engagements. It oilier man's place
would dtocend a lot faster than if you ¡artjcU.s
*
articles of European manufacture is the day tbat every idle dreamer boru. bred, circumstanced like him. it in this respect. The Eskimo defies all | No window boxes producing fresh veg
fell from tbe same height tn tbe City
The moisture and heat combined set chooses to begin the uionumeutal work implies also the courtesy of doing as the laws of hygiene ami thrives. He etables were in evidence, nnd the innt-
of Mexico.
that it is to make his fame and for you would be done by if you were in eats until be is satisfied, but Is said ter of fact guest was speculating ns to
The principle of this is quite simple, up all kinds of fungoid growth and d«*- tune.
that fellow s shoes—uo arrogauce, no never to be satisfied while a shred of the agricultural methods of the funny
cay in goods which are quite unaffect
even if it does seem a bit startling. It
Ills
Today is always huddled, crowded, condescension, but man to man on a his feast remains uneonsumed.
ed by tbe climatic conditions of Eu
man's wife when the buzz of the
is merely tbat as one goes toward tbe
capacity is limited by the supply and
too hot or too cold, too wet or too dry. footing of equal manliness.
dumbwaiter called her from the table
rope.
Mildew
attacks
textile
goods
equator the force of gravity gets less
by that only.
And there are “manners” in tbe rud
leather, books and stationery. Arms Today is out of the question. But
"More fresh vegetables?" queried tho
and less and tbe quickness of descent
The Eskimo cannot make any mis-
cutlery and metal work require con “some day" lies in tbe far golden haze cst community—customs and rules of
funuy mau as site resumed her seat at
of a falling body slower; and, while
take
about
the
manner
of
cooking
his
conduct
tbat
it
is well to learn before
stant supervision to preserve them of tbe future that seems to have iu it
doubtless you would feel just as un
food, since, as a rule, be does not cook I i tbe table.
j European furniture of wood Is soon tbe Infinite leisure of eternity. Aud so one goes far afield. For example,
"Yes," she responded wearily "Yon
It. Nor, so far as the blubber or fat of
comfortable falling that distance in [cuivpeau Furniture
, sp«>iled by swelling aud shrinkage or we defer till the more convenient sea- « hen you stop at a mountain cabin if tbe arctic animal is concerned, Is the see. she explained, “we're up «'» high
one place as in another and tbe results
.by borer worms.
Perishable goods sou that never comes what ought to uo dogs sound an alarm do uot walk Eskimo concerned about his manner that the market boy never scr n the
would be just as disastrous, there are
soldered up in tin lined cases are not be done lnstanter. without taking bet-d up to the door and knock. You are of eating it. Indeed, be may be said dumbwaiter high enough. It stops
times and things in which tbe differ
safe if they have been packed in Eu of our own feelings, our plausible ob expected to call out "Hello!” uutil I not to eat it at all. He cuts it into about two-thirds of the way If I l don't
ence is not only perceptible, but worth
I
fifth
raise all we eat tbe people ou
rope in wet weather. Tbe beat of the jections, aud permitting tire creeping some one comes out to Inspect you.
a notice.
None but tbe most iutimate neigh long strips au inch wide and an Inch floor’d get IL I’m afraid. That'» l>hn’a
ship’s hold in the Red sea or that of a paralysis of overmuch debate that
thick
and
then
lowers
the
strip
down
In Boston if you were to fire hori
closed iron wagon on the Indian rail- keeps the arm from striking while the bors neglect this usage, and there is I his throat as one might lower a rope ‘raising my own vegetables lok«* but
zontally with a rifle and your gun were
mighty good reason back of It in a
it really Isn't much of a joke after
j ways, when the iron may acquire a irou is hot
into a well.
sixteen feet from the ground the bul
These prophecies that begin with land where tbe path to one's door may I
! temperature of 160 degrees lu the sun.
Despite all this the Eskimo does not all!”—New York Times.
let tired would reach tbe ground one
be
a
warpath.
—
New
York
Herald.
I will start mildew in the case by the “some day” and a good resolution are
suffer from indigestion. He can make !
second after ft had left the rifle. But
aid of the moisture within IL—New rarely converted Into the past tense.
a good meal off the flesh and skin of
The Child.
if you were to take that same rifle to York Post.
Lured to Destruction.
Tbe man of action makes his plans so
tlie walrus, provision so hard and grit
The most sacred thing In th, com
tbe City of Mexico and fire it off the
The inhabitants of the Scllly islands
berly and takes the facts where he
ty that in cutting up the auimal the monwealth and to the comaio-" ealth
same distance from tbe earth it would
can get them that will help him to de In the old days looked upon the oc
knife must be continually sharpened.
is the child, whether ft be vc
..•hlld
Enlivened the Scene.
take one and one-half seconds to reach
cide what to do But when bis mind currence of a wreck as a blessing of
The teeth of a little Eskimo child or the child of the dull faced m «her of
One night tbe father of Kitty Ste
the ground.
is once made up he goes ahead without providence, and stories are extant
will, it is sal«l by those in a position the hovel. The child of the lull «need
So it ts easy to see bow when bunt phens, who afterward became Countess telling you much about it He does not about thanks being offered for a wreck
to know, meet in a bit of walrus skin mofher may. for all you know, '>e the
ing in different parts of the world it i of Essex, went on the stage between boast He is too conscious of his own in various parts of the country.
as the teeth of an American child most capable child in the stat Lt Us
Some of tlie stories told us by the
is necessary to calculate time from | tbe acts and was standing close to tbe fallibility to be cocksure of brilliant
would meet In the flesh of an apple, al worst it Is capable of good cl
ship
Islanders themselves, says Country
this same shifting standard of reckon drop scene, with his back to it. when and secure results.—Philadelphia Led
though the tilde of the walrus ts from and a useful life If its Intel!!
be
the stage manager gave the signal for ger.
, I Life, show that there was an almost
ing.—New York World.
half an inch to an inch in thickness quickened and trained. Several of the
the raising of tbe curtain. Slowly tbe
diabolical cleverness In the way in
and bears considerable resemblance to strongest personalities that were born
cloth went up. and as it rose the coat
which the storm tossed mariner was
SAVED BY QUICK WIT.
the hide of an elephant The eskimo In North Carolina were men whose
NEUTRAL WATERS
tails of Mr. Stephens became Involved
lured to destruction. For example, it
child will bite it and digest It and nev very fathers were unknown. W" have
| in the roller, and. feeling himself
was
common
to
burn
false
lights,
that
River Stretches Where Fishermen Only ¡caught, he began to struggle for free- A Reply That Won Napoleon and th» were calculated to bring the ships on I er know what dyspepsia means.—Har all known two such who hel«l high
Duke of Modena.
per's Weekly.
Waste Their Time.
places In church and state. Tre-ldent
j doin.
His efforts were unavailing.
the rocks instead of warning them
In
tbe
French
campaign in Italy, in
Eliot said a little while ago that the
According to old fishermen, there is however, and when the roller reached
away, and worse, even, than this was
ablest man that he had known in many
what might be called neutral ground, the top there was he in full view of which Napoleon I. first began to win done.
HIS
FACIAL
FOLIAGE.
or, rather, neutral water, in rivers, the audience, suspended by his coat tbe laurels which subsequently so
years’ connection with Harvard uni
There was at one time a gang of
where there is no use of trying to make tails, bis bead and feet downward, his abundantly crowned bis career, a wreckers, who. when a storm was Its Fate When Living Up to Its Dignity versity was the son of a brick mnsou.
young
Italian
cavalry
officer
was
tak
The child, whether It have poor par
a catch unless it be tbat some fool fish figure resembling a half open knife.
brewing, fastened a bright light to the
Was Suggested.
with a piscatorial brainstorm snatches Then the stage hands became alive to en prisoner.
horns of a cow ami sent her to graze
There is a comic artist on a New ents or rich parents, is the mo.-' valua
Having serious doubts about bls along the cliffs, to the bewilderment
bait as an Insane human might grab the situation and the drop scene was
York paper who used to drink a little ble undeveloped resource in t' «tate.
safety, it occurred to tbe prisoner to and deception of the sailors. Needless
a redhot stove.
too much and a little t«xi often, Also I —Walter Hines I’age.
! lowered again amid the boisterous
pretend
he
was
a
great
personage.
So
to say, this spirit has entirely changed be wore a heavy brown beard of which
This neutral water is the part of merriment of the audience, the sounds
tbe river where its flow encounters the of hilarity increasing as the victim, al he promised rewards to his captors if now.
The Sunflower.
be was very proud.
they
would
insure
Ills
good
treatment,
“The sunflower," sold a nnturnllsL
saline Impregnation of the salt water most black iu the face, landed on his
Dm* morning be canto to the office,
London's Destructive Atmosphere.
of tbe bay or ocean into which it Anal hands aud knees on the stage and crept adding confidentially that he was the
showing signs of indiscretions the "is the most deceitful of all plants, for
Duke of Modena.
The smoke and soot that are always night before. Ills managing editor en It has fooled six nations. Six nations
ly empties. With the ebb and tbe flow into the wings.—London Mail.
He was exceedingly well cared for, In tlie atmosphere (there nre 6,000 ton» deavored to appeal to his better Judg believe that tho sunflower turns to
of the tide the salt water of the bay
and early next morning he was called of soot hanging over London every ment
ward the sun. nnil so thoroughly are
runs up into tbe river for miles, and
Queer Eskimo Customs.
before Napoleon, who was somewhat day) contain lots of sulphur, and this
"Old man." he said seriously, "you’re they deluded that they call It by a
on the reverse the fresh water de
Every ten years the Eskimos bold puzzled at finding two Dukes of Mo
sulphur when tt meets certain sub too old and too smart to be doing tilts name which bears witness to their er
scends several miles again to the bay the dance to the dead, when ghosts are
dena among his prisoners, for tbe real stances forms sulphuric acid or vitriol. sort of thing It might be all right for ror. Thus the French call the sun
leading into tbe salt sea.
supposed to come out of their coffins duke was also a prisoner. The real
It was the vitriol in the atmosphere a lot of smooth faced kids to spend flower tournesol; the Spanish cnll tt
There Is a midway between the salt and visit the Kos-ga, where they are
duke angrily asked his counterfeit by that brought the great roof of Cbarlng tin* night over a bar, but you ought to girnsol; tbe Italians cnll It glrasole;
and fresh water points, however, that given a feast, and retire well filled for
wbat authority he bad assumed the Cross station down with a crash a few remember that you're no longer a kid. the Hungarians cnll It nnptaforgo.
very seldom shifts. Around this mid another ten years. Sometimes the food
title of Duke of Modena. The young years ago. The engine smoke had eat You ought to try to live up to the dig Each of those words means 'turn to
way shad and blue and other salt wa is taken to the burying ground to save
officer answered:
the sun.’ The English and Americans
en away the iron, which was insuffi nity of that beard of yours."
ter fish, if they visit at all, will hover the spirits the trouble of moving.
“Your grace, the peril of my situa- ciently painted. And some years ago,
This last suggestion seemed to throw don’t go quite that far in admitting
on the ocean side. On the fresh water When a child is born among tbe island
tion yesterday was such that had I before the Loudon underground was the culprit into a brown study. He re themselves to be the plant's dupes.
fringe will loiter such fish as inhabit ers it takes the name of tbe last de
known a more illustrious title I would electrified, it was a great joke at one tired to bls corner of the art room to They only cnll It sunflower The-, menn
currents that are devoid of the saline ceased member of the family, and on
not have assumed yours.”
of the stations for passengers to go and think it over. In a few minutes he by that name, though, quite as much
ingredienL If the fisherman happens it devolves the duty of feeding its fos
Tbe reply so pleased both the duke poke umbrellas into a certain iron put on Ills liat ami coat an<1 slipped ns the other names imply The belief
to cast bait In this neutral zone be is ter father's spirit The Eskimos have
and Napoleon that be was forgiven his girder, w hich at one point was nearly out, and he didn’t come back for two Is general nmong six nations thnt the
not likely to get either one kind or tbe a horror of being childless because
deceit.
as soft as putty. Paint is in such cases weeks either. But within an hour aft sunflower turns with the sun and al
other.—New York Sun.
their spirits will languish and their
the engineer's great standby. In some er his departure the managing editor ways faces tbe luminary. As n matter
name be forgotten.
As they say:
Brittany's Hair Harvest.
ways paint is more powerful than iron. heard from him. A messenger boy of fact, there Is only one flower that
Obeyed the Dream.
“S'pose no tnik-a-nina (children)—ghost
It is at Easter time tbat tbe curious
brought in a pasteboard box such ns turns or keeps with the sun—nnmely.
Life Is sometimes saved by dream plenty hungry.” Often an Eskimo will “hair harvest" of Brittany Is "reaped" Many Ixmdon buildings might be said
florists use to pack flowers in. The the sun spurge.”
warnings. Take the case of Dr. Har beggar himself, giving a great feast in by the traveling merchants, who go to be practically held together by paint, managing editor cut tho wrappings
particularly
railway
stations.
—
Pear
vey. the celebrated discoverer of the honor of bis illustrious ancestor, but
from village to village buying the beau
I and opened the box.
Ancient Mural Decoratlone.
circulation of the blood. When he was he gains great renown thereby and tiful hair for which the Breton belles son's Weekly.
There was nothing inside except n
It is probable that tbe earliest wall
a young man he set out from London plnces all his visitors under lifelong
heavy brown beard, which bail been pnlntiugs were those of the Egyptians
are famous. This is later destined to
Lang Willie’s Retort.
to go to Padua, in Italy, the seat of obligations to him.—Wide World Maga be made up into “transformations.”
A Scotch caddie is almost certain to newly sheared off the owner's face, Those people employed a distemper
the famous university where he wish zine.
"fringes" and other mysterious ar be a shrewd observer of men and with one lone rosebud reposing in tho containing dissolved gum, and their
ed to study. When he got to Dover
rangements with which ladies less things, and he Is frequently gifted with center of It.—Philadelphia Saturday principal pigments were white chalk
The
Poor
Little
Girl
In
the
Story.
the governor refused to let him enter
Evening Post.
abundantly endowed by nature make a sharp tongue of bis own.
a vegetable yellow, ochera, Ethiopian
“Time was.” said Lucinda, "that the
bls packet to cross the channel, but
up their shortcomings In the matter of
cinnabar, blue powdered glass stained
laing
Willie
was
for
many
yenrs
a
I
declined to give any reason. The next poor heroine tn tbe story when she had
An Old Time Playful Prisoner.
“woman's crowning glory." The cli well known figure on tbe St. Andrews
The
I with copper and charcoal black
day news arrived at Dover tbat the a bid to a party got out her one poor
Over a century ago there occurred in walls of Assyrian and Babylonian
ents of the hair buyers are chiefly golf links On tbe occasion of Louis I
packet had been lost with every soul old white dress and wore that It was
country lasses In tbe remoter districts, Kossuth's visit to St. Andrews a pub London what the Annual Register call dwellings were treated In much the
on board. Then the governor explain old. and it was worn and shabby, but
who are only too pleased to sell their lic dinner was given tn his honor, and ed “a most unparalleled atrocity." It satno way, aud the practice of painting
she
let
out
a
tuck
or
two,
cleaned
it
ed his strange conduct He said that
tresses
tn order to obtain a little money Willie applied for a ticket to the bailie was only the theft of a pocket hand on walls coated with plaster was cer
he had had a dream of overwhelming and pressed ft and put on a new bow.
to
spend
nt the Easter fairs. The “bar- ; who was in charge of the arrange kerchief from a pocket, but the circum tainly In vogue In Assyrln. It has lieen
force, In which he was forbidden to and in tbat poor dress thus refurbish
vest."
however.
Is said not to tie so ments. The worthy man curtly re stances of the deed explain tbe vehe believed thnt the Greeks iind«Tstood
allow a young man. whose face ap e«l she was the belle of the ball.
good
as
formerly,
ns with tlie spreml fused tbe application, saying to Willie mence of this denunciation. Four men true fresco work, apparently on the
peared to him, to enter the boat I "But the poor girl couldn’t do that
of education and the love of display thnt it was "no pines for the likes of were on their trial for assaulting a man strength of n phrase occurring In Plu
now.
No,
no.
In
these
days
she
would
When Harvey presented himself the
in his house at Ponder's End. putting tarch. "to paint on a wet ground " Vi
many girls prefer to keep their hair.— him to be at the dinner."
governor recognized the face seen in simply have to lie in the fashion, and
him In fear and stealing from him. ami truvius also speaks of a wet ground
Wide
World
Magazine.
"No
for
tbe
likes
of
me!"
was
Wil
everybody nowadays, rich and poor,
his dream.
one of them relieved tlie tisliiim of the and says that colors placed upon a
lie's
Indignant
rejoinder
“
I've
been
In
seems to have good clothes, too—goo«L
tbe company of gentlemen from 11 to trial, which lasted eight hours, by pick
surface so prepared are permanent,
When the Waltz Wee New.
as well as In the style. 1 don't know
Daniel O’Connell.
4 o'clock rnaist days for tbe last thirty Ing the pocket of one of the turnkeys which certainly Is characteristic of
I
have
a
letter
in
my
possession
writ
how
they
do
IL
but
they
do.
Oh.
my.
After a dinner at laird Dungarvan's.
as li«* stood In tlie dock. An official bad
yea r. and that's mair tbao you can
true fresco work.—ilarjier's.
Lady Morgan writes in her diary: I no' The poor girl couldn't wear that ten by a friend to my great-grand say.”
the presence of mind to order Hie res
mother
in
the
year
1817.
nt
Christmas
read
met the redoubtable Dan O'Connell. old dress now. But I love to
i
toration of the handkerchief, anil the
Caustic Whistler.
time, in which the lady expresses her
prisoner had enough presence of mind
Dan is not brilliant in private life, not alsiut her io tbe story."—New York
Blowing Out an Egg.
Most Whistler anecdotes have the
grave disapproval of the “modern” ten
to obey "with the most careless Indlf
even agreeable. He is mild, silent, Iro- 1 Sun.
To blow out an egg make a small
inevitable caustic note. One day an
dency toward rapid dancing Tbe para
ference." but tlie court, we rend. “ were
assumlng. apparently absorbed and an
hole In each end. bore tbe holes with
English student was smoking a pipe
graph
runs
ns
follows:
Gasoline
Evaporates
Rapidly.
pull
horror struck.” Justice, however,
utter stranger to the give and take
' my.
“I was yester evening at your Cousin a large darning needle or hatpin, press ed Itself together sufficiently to sen when Wldstler entered the
One pint of gasoline left In an nn-
charm of good society. 1 said so to
"You should be very careful, ue ob
Betty’s, where I was much struck with ing steadily, but not loo hard, and tence all four men to death.
Lord Clanri -arde. who replied: “If you covered basin in a room nt a normal or
served. "You know you might get In
tbe new fashioned dances, which seem twisting tbe point round and round
knew bow I found him this morning! average temperature will entirely
I terested In your work and let vour
ed. to me at any rate, to be out of until a small hole has been punctured;
The
Changing
Death
Rate.
His hall, the very steps of his door, evaporate within* twenty four hours.
i pip» go out”
Then there was a
keeping with the propriety and mod then enlarge the hole slightly with the
The last generation has progressed
crowded with his clientele. He had a As gasoline vapor Is denser than the
esty which we look for In young ladies sharp point of your scissors, being remarkably in saving the babies, but Hcotch student who succeeded In get
surrounding
air,
unless
disturbed
by
word or a written order for each, then
of our class. I can only regret the dis careful not to cra«'k the shell lu doing has let the middle aged people die. ting Whistler to examine his sketches,
hurried off to the law courts, thence active air currents. Its presence in the
i one of which was an old pea*nnt wom
Make the hole In the large end
appearance of those 'mazurkas' and 'ga so
room
may
be
detected
for
many
hours
Below tlie age ‘of ten the denth rate
to the Improvement society and was
of
the
shell
a
trifle
larger
tliau
the
one
an. whose face was Illuminate«! by a
vottes'
ns
well
as
the
'minuets'
and
One pint of gasoline will make 200 cu
has been diminishing. Above the age
the guest here today. Two hours be
huge candle. He examined all the
hope that these new dances or 'valses,’ In the small end. Hold the egg over of forty the death rate has been Ln
bic
feet
of
explosive
mixture,
and
this
fore be was making that clever but
a bowl, put tbe small end to your lips
sketches carefully and then remarked:
mixture Is seven times more powerful as 1 think they are named, will quick
at
least
In
America.
No
In
creasing,
violent speech to Mr. la Touch, and
“How beautifully you've painted the
ly disappear from respectable society.’’ and blow steadily until all tbe egg has crease la reported from Europe.
than gunpowder.—Popular Mechanics.
now no wonder tbat be looks like an
run out of the shell.
candlel Good morning, gentlemen."
—Letter in Loudon Telegraph.
Intemperance In eating, drinking and
extinct volcano.”
Familiar.
working, especially working, is the
Hardly Ev»r.
His Closs Call.
Not
Him.
Yeast—Did your wife read the riot
"Other things being equal,” sb» ask most probable explanation of this po
A Literary Cynic.
"I had a narrow escape yesb-.’fay
“Has my husband been in here?" In
collar
and
unfortunate
mortality.
act to you last night?
"Some day.” «aid tbe novelist "I’m
quired a woman of tbe bartender. ed. "don't you tblnk a girl baa a better
Crimsonbeak—No.
The nation has made great advances noon.”
chance than a widow bas to get mar
going to write something big—some
"How's that?”
"Why, you thought she would when “He's a tall, red faced man. no over-
In
community hygiene. It 1" time the
ried r
thing that will make tbe world remem
"Four of us ate lunch together and
coat, soft bat.”
you got In late, didn’t you?'
people begun to advance a little In
"Perhaps,
”
be
replied,
"but
a
widow
ber me."
each of us Insisted on paylt a the
“A man answering that description
“Oh, no She doesn't have to read it
personal
hygiene.
—
Chicago
Journal.
“Ah. yes," bis friend replied, “but to me now; she knows It by heart.”— got a bottle of whisky here about ten hardly ever gives a man a chance to
check.”
consider other things equal.”—Chicago
when are you going to do it?”
“Well?”
minutes ago.”
Yonkers Statesman.
Lookad
Lika
It.
Record Herald.
"Just as soon as I have turned out
"For a minute or two It looked as
“How big a bottle?"
The small but observant son of a
•nongb trash to make me independ
“Half a pint, ma'am."
Comforting.
New York traveling salesman notice«! though I had overdone ths thing aud
Reason
Why.
ent"—Chicago Re«?ord-Herald.
“Some other man,” said the woman.
when bls father came borne that he the others were going to let mo do it"
She—Here's a story of a man who
"Too haven't many relatiVM, have
had bad a front tooth filled with gold —Detroit Free Press.
bartered bis wife for a horse. You -St Louis Post-Dispatcb.
yooT"
Primeval Raproaches.
wouldn't swap me for a horse, would
while he was away.
“Worlds of them."
Adam and Eve were leaving tbe gar yon. darling? He-Of course not Rut
Foreign French.
Hi* Limit.
"Pop.” ««Id the boy. “you've got
“
1
never
meet
any
of
them
st
yonr
den of Eden.
“Learn to ajieak French. Then
“And before wd were married you
yonr tooth buttoned on wltb a collar
I'd hate to have any one tempt me
bouse."
"It's all yonr fault" said Adam.
button, haven’t you?"—New York Sun. things won’t cost so much tn Pari».”
wltb a good motorcar.—London Tit said you would be willing to die for
"No; they've all got more tnooey
“It Isn't either." replied Eve. "It’s
"Ob, you can't make ’em tblnk you
me."
Bits.
____ __
than I have. "—Judge
yonr fault. Yon ought to have bad us
are a Frenchman.”
| “I know It”
Made Them Laugh.
put under civil service so we couldn't
“No, but sometimes yon can make
Corrected.
I “And yet you refuse to beat the
"My friend»," said a politician the
Bound te B« Misaad.
bo turned out”—Washington Star.
other day. with a burnt of Ingenuous >m think you are a Itnaalnn or a Hpan-
Teacher-If I should say. “Yonr two rugs.”
I
’
m
"Will
anybody
intra
me
when
lard.”-Washington Herald.
eloquence. “I will tie honest”—
sisters are coming." would tbat be cor- I "Sure! Dylog la my limit”—Hou»
gone ?"
Not Exactly Ploying.
The terrific outburst of applause
ton Post
rect?
"Plenty of people There’s th» piano which followed this remark entirely
Bellows — Does your daughter play
By ths Card.
Jobhny—No. ma'am. I only bare one
man with bls dollar a week, the ency upset the point which the orator was
on the piano’
Gibbs—I say. old chap, what Is meant
Spoiled.
sister.—Exchange.
clopedia man with his dollar and the shout to Introduce. —1-oodon Telegraph
Follows (in tone« of deep disgust
by the expression “ 'to
I
spesk by th»
“His popularity is «polling him.”
Insurance agent wltb bis 60 cent*."—
No. str. Rhe works on it. pounds on It.
card?" Dlblm-Oh. one do*« tbat when
“
Wbat'»
tbe
matter
now?"
Why They Fail.
rakes It. scrapes IL jumps on it rolls
one exclaims, “Tlie deuce!”—New York
"He's got so tbat he can't enjoy a Kansas City Journal.
The Trouble.
It takes some people so long to be
over on it. but there's no play about sure they are right that they never get banquet on lew he's at tbe speakers'
Discontented Twin — Pretty rotten Telegram.
Th» Poor Walter.
it, str^London Telegraph
lurk on me! I shouldn't so mneb mind
time to go abend.—St Paul Pioneer table."-Detroit Free Pre««
Old Isdi (who has been lunching haring a fare like mine If ft wasn't so
Only Safe Way.
Press.
_____ _
with
her
aoni
—
Here.
William,
you
left
frigga—Can yon keep a secret
Ts Ost Rid of Him.
Always take the short rot. and that
beastly like yours. — Ixindon Punch
this quarter on the table by mistake.
your wife? - Briggs - Not un.ee» I
Lord Algy—Really, don't you know.
We must make our election between h the rational one Therefore say and
I cawu't live without you Geraldine economy and liberty or profusion and do everything »«-cording to tbe sound Ift's lucky I saw It. because the waiter
Empty men are the trumpet« of their sce rct the fact Unit I bive une -
Md bis ejs va It- Ufa.
tun Tra user ipL
— Well, perhaps papa will pension y«i servltod<—Tbotnaa Jeffersox
own deed».-kla»singer.
sot reason.-Marcus Aurallus.
tor Ufa.-Judge.
FORCE OF GRAVITY.
I