Tillamook Headlight,
e
CONCEALED PUNS.
lames Russell Lowell Cleverly Hid
One In a Review.
QUAINT HUMOR IN A SNEEZE.
ie Story That Is Told of the Witty
Berio, Sydney Smith, and the Wager
He Won While In the Pulpit—A
luried Pun by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
'Horace E. Scudder in some remluis-
fl^ces of James Russell Lowell point­
ed out that tbe poet critic even in his
soberest essays would somet'xnes bide
AWay a jest for tbe delectation of spe
dally discerning readers. Thus In a
Bgvlew of Richard Grant White's e«il-
tlon of Shakespeare. Lowell remarked
lBcidentally:
g®“To every commentator who has
wantonly tampered with tbe text or
■BBacured It with bis inky cloud of para­
phrase we feel inclined to apply tbe
quadrisyllable name of tbe brother of
Agis. king of Sparta."
^K’rofessor Felton of Harvard, we are
told, was tbe first to remember or dis­
cover that tbe name of Agla' brother
was Eudamidas.
ttA more opaque mystification Is con-
ttUied in a passage in the first chapter
of Nathaniel Hawthorne's “Our Old
^ome”—opaque only because be pur-
ggeely seeks to conceal every clew to
the fact that a pun is buried beneath
the surface.
MYbe chapter Is headed "Consular Ex-
gfcrlcnces.” Speaking of tbe lights and
Shadows of the consul's office at Liver-
Mol. where be was stationed during
the presidency of Franklin Pierce,
^fliwtborne dwells with special pleas-
Bte on tbe visits of a young English
iMend. "a scholar and literary amateur,
between whom and myself there sprang
up an affectionate and, I trust, not
UBnsItory regard.”
■KThis friend used to come and sit or
swnd by the Hawthorne fireside, "with
ilcb kind endurance of tbe many
Hugh republicanisms wherewith I as-
qBiled him aud such frank and amiable
^Lertlon of all sorts of English preju-
IKes and mistakes, that I understood
hh countrymen infinitely the better for
hkn aud was almost prepared to love
the lntensest Englishman of them all
for bis sake. It would gratify my cber-
>d remembrance of this dear friend
I could remind him without offend­
ing him, or letting the public know it,
t<a introduce Ills name upon my page.
Bight was the illumination of my
Hteky little apartment as often as he
Sflde bis appearance there.”
'«■he casual reader never suspects
s*)t Hawthorne has deftly accompllsb-
ed his purpose. It does not occur to
M bi that Bright, the apparent adjective
that so cunningly begins a sentence
and therefore achieves tbe right to a
capital initial, may be alternatively
raad as a proper noun.
Benrv A. Bright was. in fact, Haw-
tlfcrue's only Intimate friend in Liver­
peel He was a man of wealth and po­
sition In that town, a dilettante who
bpd published for bls own amusement
■ botanical manual, "The English
ybwer Garden." With Hawthorne he
«fluid frequently call upon tbe local
Hnkseller, Henry Young, making tise
of .« little nook In the rear of tbe sbop
topexamlne and discuss tbe recent pub-
■htions. This came to be known as
Hawthorne's corner.
^flhere is a story told about Sydney
flllltb that represents him as carrying
Bconcealed pun Into the pulpit with
Mb). Tbe most familiar version is that
flpl ch Lord Houghton used to tell,
when settled at his small living in
Yorkshire. Sydney willingly assisted
Mg brethren in that neighborhood in
^bir clerical duties. On one occasion
bJ dined with the Incumbent on the
^■ceding Saturday.
The evening
■fcsed in great hilarity, the squire.
Brsbaw by name, being conspicuous
■ bls loud enjoyment of tbe visitor's
MONSTER HEADDRESSES.
1
Woman at Ona Time Wore Floats el
Vessels In Their Hair.
Marie Antoinette bud a passion for
extraordinary Lead dresses. Oue struc­
ture that site invented was forty-five
Inches iu height aud was composed of
many yards of gauze aud ribbon. From
tbe folds sprang bunches of roses, aud
tbe entire edifice was surmounted by a
waving plnuie of white feathers. It Is
recorded that wbeu Maria Theresa re­
ceived a portrait of her daughter wear­
ing this headdress she exclaimed:
“This is no daughter of mine! It is the
portrait of au actress!”
The Duchess de Chartres, determined
to surpass the queeu. designed a head­
dress two inches higher. It was made
up of many plumes waving at the top
of a tower. Two waxen figures, repre­
senting tbe little Comte de Beaujolais
(tbe brother of Louis Philippe) In his
nurse’s arms, were worn as ornaments.
Beside them a parrot picked at a plate
of cherries, and tbe wax figure of a
black boy reclined at the nurse's feet.
On different parts of tbe tower were
tbe initials of the duchesse's busband,
her father and her father-in-law, made
from her own hair.
At this time France and England
were at war. In a naval engagement
the French frigate Llcorne struck her
fiag. but the Belle Poule, another
French vessel, crippled the Hector, au
English man-of-war. As the French­
men were about to board two English
vessels bore down to their consort’s
assistance, and the Belle Poule sailed
away. Tbe English fleet returned to
Plymouth with two prizes, the Llcorne
and a French lugger.
The French, although they had lost a
frigate, proclaimed a victory. The
queen and her women wore headdress­
es that represented the Belle Poule un­
der full sail plowing a sea of green
gauze In pursuit of the English frigate.
This construction was known as the
"coiffure Belle Poule.”
The wife of an English officer living
in Paris deemed the beaddress an in­
sult to tbe English navy and deter­
mine«) to resent it. At tbe next public
occasion therefore she appeared carry­
ing on her head five English line of
battle ships, a French frigate and a
lugger, An arrangement of silk and
gauze represented Plymouth harbor,
which the English ships, with their
prizes, were entering. Each vessel car­
ried a streamer that bore Its name, and
on the edifice at tbe back the word
"Plymouth” appeared in glittering
beads.
Tbe audacity of the spirited English
woman struck every one dumb except
the chief of police, who invited her ts
cross the frontier at her earliest con
venience.—Youth’s Companion.
MEANING OF “POTLUCK.”
One
Plunge of the Ladle, and Take
What You Get.
The real origin of the word 'pot-
luck” Is unknown to most of tbe peo­
ple who use it.
In Limoges, France,
however, one runs Into potluck Itself.
In a certain corner of that quaint city
of Jostling roofs there Is still segregat­
ed. much as If In a ghetto, a Saracen
population, probably a remnant of tbe
wave of Saracens that swept over Eu
rope hundreds of years ago. Here they
live in tbelr crooked, narrow streets,
following old customs banded down
from generation to generation. There
are many butcher shops In the quarter,
and outside of each steams a great pot
of soup over a glowing brazier. In
each pot stands a ladle as ancient as
tbe pot.
When a customer comes with a penny,
in goes tbe ladle and comes up full of
savory broth and chunks of meat, odds
and ends that tbe butcher has bad left
over And wbat comes up tbe cus
tomer has to take. One csd Imagine
bow anxiously tbe hungry urchin or
the mother of seven must eye tbe In­
exorable ladle and bow a pretty girl
might get another draw from tbe
butcher's boy.
At any rate, "to take potluck” means
to take what you get and suy nothing,
whether the pot is In Limoges or in
the Hat of the man who eagerly Invites
1 am very glad that 1 have amused a friend of bis youth to dinner.—New
L" said Sydney Smith at parting. York Sun.
■t you must not laugh at my sermon
Givea Warning of a Storm.
borrow.”
In the bay of Biscay frequently dur­
I should hope I know tbe difference
tween here and a church,” remarked ing the autumn and winter In calm
weather a heavy sea gets up and rolla
) squire a little tartly perhaps.
I'm not so sure of that"
in on the const four and twenty
hours before the gale which causes It
I'll bet you a guinea on it”
arrives and of which It la the prelude.
^Take you." said the divine,
text day the preacher ascended ths In this case the wave action, generated
ps of tbe pulpit apparently suffering on the other side of the Atlantic by the
bi a severe cold, with his bandker- wind, travels at a much greater rate
lef to his face, and at once sneezed than that of the body of disturbed air
I the natn« “Kershaw!" several times and thus gives warulng of the coming
Various intonations. This Ingenious storm
bmption of tbe readiness with which
ban would recognize bis own name
So Unreasonable.
Bounds unintelligible to the ears of
“Rhe’s been very busy telling me how
lers proved accurate. The poor to rear my baby."
Mre burst into guffaw, to tbe acaa-
"Weiir
I of tbe congregation Tbe minister
“But she got Into a perfect panic
er looking at him with stern re- when I asked her to take care of the
Meh prockMed with his discourse child for a couple of days You know I
1 won tbe bet.
was suddenly called out of town."—
InoVber version makes tbe victim Washington Herald
Sydney's Jest a certain Sir Archi-
Id Macdonald, equerry ts tbe Duke
A Frank Admission.
Sussex. Sir Archibald said to the
“I snp|m»e you are interested In ro
Sate, who was then a canon at Bl form.” «aid the <oum tentious citizen.
Il's cathedral:
“No," replied Farmer Corntoeeel; "1
I will -come some Sunday to beat
approve of It But I can't any that It's
I preach."
If you ds I shall name you from the generally expressed In a way that
makes It as interesting ao tbe eontin
pit" waa tbe reply
ued
stories"— Washington Star.
Indaunted by this threat. Sir Archl-
d went to St Paul's.
WewM Het
lydsey entered tbe pulpit, looked
CflBbleigb-Too wouldn't marry Mta«
rd at tbe baronet and »aa xeiaed
Roxy for her money, would you. Vp-
|h a wonderful fit of sneezing
Dewwe How elee can 1
Ae-chle. Ar-ch>e. Ar-chie!" was bow aoo?
toonded In Sir Archibald's ears, and get IH-leod»!) Answers
cssld not help a sudden laugh of
•gninom-W.iaam 8 Wshh In Boo
THE LITERARY RIVALS.
A
S»rio-Comic Sc»ne B»twe»n Victor
Hugo and tha Two Dumaaaa.
It Is perhaps omy natural that -Mr.
A. F. Davidson, the latest biographer of
Victor Hugo, annoyed by the extrava­
gant eulogies of tbe poet that his pred
acessors had written, should lay a
good deal of stress ou tbe great French
man's faults aud failings. Of these the
chief was undoubtedly vanity. Victor
Hugo was Inordinately vain—vain at
one moment with a superb assiiram-e
that almost dignified vanity itself, at
another with an uneasy jealousy at
once petty and absurd.
Some years ago in a review of the
work of the. two Dumases, father and
sou. au anecdote was related that well
illustrates this trait. Both of the Du­
mases, Victor Hugo and several others
were chatting together when a foreign
gentleman was presented, who made
an excellent impression on every oue
until tbe moment of bls departure. Ax
he bowed In taking leave he addressed
himself to tlie most celebrated mem­
bers of the group and assured them of
bis pride aud satisfaction In having
met “the greatest poet, tbe greatest ro­
mancer aud tbe greatest dramatist of
France."
"A little unthinking of our friend to
address bis parting compliment entire
ly to me. was it not?" reuiarketl Victor
Hugo complacently.
The others looked at each other, and
he caught the look.
"The dramatist—that was you. then,
you think. Dumas?" he inquired of Du­
mas tbe younger in an ominous voice.
Then a thought even more appalling oc­
curred to him. and without waiting for
a reply he turned to Dumas the elder.
“The romancer, monsieur the ro­
mancer! Do I understand you to sup­
pose that by 'the greatest romancer' It
vvns you who was designated? Reply,
fnotisieur!"- he demnnded. His brow
was thunderous, and the company held
their breath, but the elder Dumas, who
never found himself at a loss, answer­
ed with an easy laugh:
“But certainly it was I. and the
drnmntist was my son How should It
be otherwise? You did uot Invite the
gentleman to dine, and I did. You are
not a cook—a good cook, a veritable
prince among cooking aninteurs-nnd I
nni! His compliments, such as they
are. are for us, bis prospective hosts.
But they are only payment In advance
for the sahide marselllalse of peppers
stuffed with minced crab meat which 1
have promised to prepare for him and
which I invite you to share also "
The great and only Hugo shrugged a
tolerantly contemptuous shoulder.
“No; I have had enough of the so­
ciety of this gentleman who speaks
from the stomach, not the bend." he
stated grandly. “Yon may appreciate
It, Dumas, but I do uot. It Is true—I
am not a cook."
A Cheap Marine Teleecope.
Make an oblong narrow box out of
four pieces of quarter inch board
about two feet long by sixteen Inches
wide, and fit a piece of clear, cleau
glass across one end. held in place by
brass beaded tacks driven Into the
wood and overlapping tbe glass. Fill
all tbe cracks with sealing wax to
keep out the light Then plunge tbe
glass end two or three Inches Into tbe
water and look through the open end.
Tills simple marine telescope la made
on the principle of the more elalsirate
glasses through which to look at the
famous gardens under the sea near
tbe Catalina Islands — Christian Herald.
Soaking Salt Fish.
There Is a wrong as well as a right
way to freshen salt mackerel and other
salt fish Those who are familiar with
evaporation processes know that salt
falls to the bottom Now. if you place
your mackerel with tbe akin side down
In the pan the salt falls to the skin
and remains there If placed with the
flesh aide down the salt falls to the
bottom of the pan. ami the mackerel
is freshened by tbe soaking In water.
as it should be
The Scholar.
Dr. Evans, a witty member of the
parliament at Melbourne, was an old
man, and tbe other members Jokingly
spoke of him as belonging to tbe era of
Queen Anne
Once while making a speech he re­
ferred to Queen Anne and was greeted
with cries of "Did you know her?"
"What was sbe like?"
“Yes. sir." retorted the doctor. "I did
know her Tbe scholar Is contemiiorary
with all time”
Going to an Expart.
When the butcher answered tbe tele­
phone the sbrlll voice of a little girl
greeted hi tn:
"Hello! Is this Mr Wilson?”
“Yes. Bessie." be answered kindly
"What can I do for you?"
"Oh. Mr Wilson, please tell me
where grandpa's liver la! The folks are
oat and I've got to put a hot flannel on
It. and 1 don't know where It la"—
I ji dies' Home Journal
i
WHAT IS SOLUBLE?
Everything In the Universe Is,
Say the Scientists.
GLASS DISSOLVES IN WATER.
And if a Bar of Gold Bo Placed Upon a
Bar of Load Each In Timo Will Ab-
sorb Particles of tho Other—Solid
Matter a Maes of Whirling Atoms.
What is soluble? Sugar lu water?
That's easy, although you have to be
born iu Kentucky to perform the trick
iu tile mint julep trade.
Is glass soluble lu water? Offhand
we say no We are wrong. It is You
can try it yourself.
Take an ordinary eight ounce water
glu«s. a glass that holds eight ounces,
grind it up to a ¡towder and pour the
¡>Qwder into another glass full of water
and stir it up Then analyze It. or. If
this is above you. take it around the
corner to a man who can. aud be will
tell you. and with truth, that the wa­
ter In that glass had actually dissolved
3 her cent of the glass powder.
Glass is soluble, nearly us soluble us
bichloride of mercury
Everything is soluble in wuter
Furthermore, everything in the uni­
verse is soluble iu everything else in
the universe. That is what they ure
telling us now. and the men who tell
us cun perforin an astonishing experi­
ment right before your eyes to make
you more than half believe them.
They take a bar of gold and a bar of
lead They lay one bar on top of the
other Then they sit around and smoke
cigars and wait, say a year Then they
take the two bars and analyze them
chemically. In tile gold bar they find
lead In the lend bar they find gold.
Gold and lead are soluble In each other.
If you haven't time to wait a year to
find out. the trick cun be performed In
much shorter time. All that has to be
done is to raise the temperature of the
two bars to a very ordinary heat—say
300 or 400 degrees F. With tills added
heat the same results are reached over­
night. Traces of gold are found all the
way through the lead bar and vice
versa
The theory Is that all substances,
whether gold or butter or leather, are
really composed of the smallest kind
of small particles—about the size of the
particles making up the tai) of the late
lamented cornet, which were described
lis the elemental essence of nothing­
ness. These particles, which are as
much bigger than an atom as a moun­
tain compared to h mouse, are in mo­
tion. revolving rouud each other faster
than thought, much the same us tbe
planets revolve round tlie sun.
If our microscopes were big enough a
chunk of gold would appear to our
eyes much tbe same ns a fly hopper
full of flies (the kind of hoppers they
keep In the cheese department of a
country grocery store In August). The
particles are buzzing and Jumping
niu< h tbe same as these flies
When a liar of gold conies In contact
with n bar of lead their respective re­
volving buzzing particles get together
and get acquainted. They go explor­
ing and are lost, and before long, in­
stead of having a bar of pure lead und
a bar of pure gold we have two bark
of alloyed metals
This discovery lias upset all sorts of
scientific calculations if everything Is
soluble iu everything else—and scien­
tists can go on duplicating the gold
lend example without end—how can
anything exist In a pure state? It can’t
Chemists dls|>euse chemicals under
tbe label “C. I’.'' or “chemically pure."
but If a Dr Wiley got after them on
the strict letter of tbe new theory he
would send them all to jail, because the
chances are tlmt all alleged pure chem
icnls have absorbed a little of every­
thing they came In contact with in
tbe process of tbelr manufacture.
Analytical chemists of thia day have
to take into account tbe amount of
glass any given solution contains,
when they are testing that solution In
test a tube. Otherwise their results
wouldn't count for anything.
This discovery suggests an explana­
tion of that mysterious element In out
door life, scent. How can a bound
trace his quarry? Everything a man
toik-bea dissolves a little of him When
Ids foot falls on tbe ground he leaves
>i trace of himself In warm went tier
or |n Wet weather be leaves a bigger
trace than In cold or dry weather, A
hound follows a damp trail L’atinlly
his sense of smell is not acute eisiugb
to follow a dry trail
The suggestion that a fugitive pur
sued by a bloodhound actually dis
solves a few particles of himself every
time his foot touches the ground. Just
as though he were a lump of augur In
water, aonnda fanciful, but It la np-
pea ring more and more reasonable It»
tbe light of recent reaerin lies F. I
Anderson In Chicago Record Herald
A BADLY ABUSED WORD.
THEIR MOTHER TONGUE.
Many Base Usas to Which "Infinite” Io
Put Nowadays.
As It Was Spokan by th» EngliahmM
and tha American.
Au American iu Loudon, living in •
private hotel, inquired of au English
acquaintance bow it was that «Mrary
oue in tbe bouse immediately wog-
uized his nationality, in "Vagabond
Journeys" Mr. Percival Pollard recorfla
tbe conversation.
The Englishman looked at our Atunr-
Icau friend for a moment aud tiun
ventured this definite explanation:
“Gh, of course, don't you see. they
would know you. you see, like a shot
I mean to say, you see. that It's quite
odds ou, don't you see, that you are.
that you are. you see! Eh?”
The Americau chewed ou this a little
and then remarked, apropos of noth­
ing:
"Say, ain't it a flue thing we speak
the same language? Yes. sir! Thata
what keepa the two countries ao close
together the language. Still, as I waa
saying. 1 can't make up my tnind
whether It's my feet or my language.
I’d like to have a real heart to heart
talk witli you about some of these lit­
tle details of tile language that blnda
us together, tongues across the s«-a. as
It were Come aud have lunch with me
at the Cecil."
"Quite sorry! I Just went and had a
bone an hour ago."
“Beg pardon ?"
“OU. I mean to say. of course, don't
you see. I had a grilled boue at the
club."
“Well. there's another thing I'd like
to talk to you about when you have
time some day That's tbe exact defini­
tion of the week end. I’ve noticed
♦bat ' hen your lawyer or stickbroker.
and . .. forth, says he's going away for
the week end it means that he’s lenv-
Ing Thursda.v evening and pot show
Ing up again until Tuesday morning.
There goes a boy from E-ton; 1 cun tell
him by bls clothes."
“From where?"
"E-ton." repeated the Yankee. “Ac­
cents on the 'ton,' doesn't it?”
“No: don’t you see, it's Just Eton."
“Oh. rimes with ’meetln',’ eh. drop­
ping the 'g' carefully nt the same time
ALFINE CURLING
as the voice uud otherwise concealing
Almoat Surgical Skill Used on the les the alphabet as much ns possible?
Well, well!" and tbe American pullet!
to Make It Perfect.
Scotch players regard the condition* up his horse “Ain't it great wo speak
of Alpine curling as HOinewhut too lux the same language?”
uriou» The Ice is almost too perfect,
and the tactics that proved successful
THE EMPEROR’S STAR,
on the rough Ice of a Scottish pond
have to I m * abandoned In favor of mure It Simply Had to Be Put on the Cross
subtle methods
on the Church Spiro.
The ordinary visitor to the Alps has
Emperor William la tbe busiest man
very little idea of the science and work in Germany. He revises or approves ail
which are necessary to Insure a good decisions In public matter , su:, ervljes
rink, and the Scotch curler who has all art and architecture and led tree
been accustomed to the rough Ice form everybody, In Illustration of the def-
rd by a few nights* frost Is somru h.it ereiice paid to his wishes In even tire
startled when lie sees an army of Ice smallest details, they , tell In Berlin,
men working through the night. A writes Mr, Siimuel G. Blythe in Every­
rink in the Alps Is a costly business body’s Magazine, the story of tbe star
The ground Is carefully leveled In the above the cross oil the spire of the Em­
spring, ami after the first tall of snow peror William Memorial church.
a squad of Icemen tramp (he snow
Of course the knlser Insisted on re­
down as evenly as |M>sslb1e. The flood­ vising the plans of the church. Tbe
ing is done in a series of elaborate architect brought tbe plans to him. and
stages, which can be carried out only the kaiser scratched out wbat h* did
when the sun is shining.
not like and made such additions us be
The secret of good Ire is to go slowly fancied before he gave them tbe Impe­
This w»is proved by a clever ex|»erl rial O. K. Tbe church was built.
ment The discovery of this was due There was to lie a big gilt cross
the
to Rudolph Bauman, perhaps the I «-st spire, and It appeared In its proper
Iceman In the Alps. He flllrd two place. But. much to the general aston­
wooden tubs with water, and the II rat ishment. when the cross was put up a
froze land In a night The second was large, many ¡minted star was raised
allowed to fill gradually, drop ' v drop, above It on a heavy rod. Tbe Berliners
throughout a fortnight The two blocks could not understand tbe star. They
of lee were then put In the sunshine, Inquired Tbe architect said tbe kaiser
and whereas (In* Ice that had l»eeii hud added tile star to the plans.
formed In a single night disappeared
The plaiu* were exatulued. Then It
Wit'll II >i week, the other block sur was found that In revising them tbe
vlved for three weeks
kaiser had let fall a drop of ink from
The h e Is carefully doctored every bls ¡s-n. which lilt the pa|>er Just above
night with the skill of a first class sur tbe cross Tbe architect studied a long
geon Small holes are trimmed and time over this blot of Ink. There could
scooped out with a knife They are la- no ap|>eal. no Inquiries. He finally
then filled with flnelv powdered Ice decided that the blot of Ink signified •
and sprinkled with boiling water
star above the cross, and he put tbe
result Is an almolutely even siirfu
star there, making it to correspond as
good Ice London Times
nearly as possible with the outline of
tbe blot. The star is still there.
What Is happening to the word "infi­
nite?" It used to have great aud rare
associations aud serve great needs
Now I meet It everywhere uud with
every possible application, Oue bou-
net is infinitely more beautlful than
another, one brand of wine Infinitely
preferable to the next, lie has an lufi-
nite desire to see her; she would iiifi-
ultely prefer a hobble skirt to oue with
gores One novel is infinitely superior
to Its predecessor; u character In it in­
finitely prefers game to domestic fowl
There is no association too trivial for
it. no use too petty. Our Isioks mid
our newspapers alike bristle with mis­
used "Infinites.” The word, like Lau­
rence Sterne and Lord B.vrou. Ims be­
come a social literary success, and no
worse fate can befall a great author or
a great word. It Is taken up by the
fashion papers mid by society Journals,
and this season's styles are usually in­
finitely prettier than the last.
Infinitely pretty!
Not ouly careless Journalistic folk
who like to produce mi emphati effe.'t
—at any cost are guilty My learned
friends put It to common use So do
1 when I forget
We are infinitely
obliged nowadays to one who gives us
n lift of a few blocks and Infinitely
grateful for our Christmas preseuts
Our greatest and best authors vie with
one another In bringing this great word
down from its high estate, and it is
only n few days since 1 heard a most
fastidious man of letters lecturing in
Boston say that the Sunday supple­
ments would be infinitely more dive t
ing If something—1 forget wh it- w< e
different The robin'« nite in "Flo
Madeod" is "infinitely winsome"
Even ns critical a writer as Mrs Anne
Douglas Sedgwick s|ie; l s of n heroine
“Infinitely nuilleahle” through ive m il
of a fat young German musician as
feeling "Infinite compassion." That, to
be sure. 1« lie fer than Arnold Bennett's
description of n woman as "intiuitely
sty lisb."—Serf liner's
A Handy Measure.
If you have a pint Jug and wish to
measure off half a pint with tolerable
accuracy It 1« useless to try mid do so
b.v guessing when Hie Jug h> half full
A fletter way Is to till the Jug until the
contents Just reach to the upper end of
tile Isittom of the vessel mid lust to ieh
the lip nt ttie lower end of i ie m< ¡th
In till« way the sp ice In the ¡did Jeg I»
pnicth ally < til Into two equal ¡«irti ns.
each half representing the space taken
by half a pint
Observation« of the Caddie
The cuddie s « hastening lufliience on
th<‘ «' oik eil of players has nrmler
it
■i IH“'lot a I example*
<>llr of the
of fhese b* the following
*U fiat sort of game dues Mr Jocui
pin; '/*’
'Th* ■ aifiii.i play mine ’
"I’ iii going «ml wjili tiirn tumormw
I snf>|H»?<e I shall l«e:t filin’*
”Nii. ye will nut ’’ Windsor Maga
Xllie
The First Hinge.
The first hinge was probably that st
the oyster The thorny oyster of the
Pacific cast has Its two shells Joined
together by n hinge as good as say
found In nuy hardware simp of the
country There are other binges found
In nature, but thill of the oyster reach­
es the highest (lerfectlon We have
made Utile advance upon thia device
In h II of our yenrs of ¡»iteutlug Bird In­
venting Hi Nicholas.
An Expert.
I never have any trouble with my
gowns
Tío» is that ?"
' Voli see. .ny huAlatiul lielonga tc the
fire depart merit.”
•Welir*
“And he <nn hook me up In for r-Jvw
sumida" Washington Herald.
Ska Had
"Hsve voti any ninnarrieri daughter«,
Wiedom.
Mr« I *e Willoughby ?” asked the risi-
“tJu you nofke that yunr son his tor
M»fl Mutakt.
nmtfy lenrued anything In e«»|lege7*
"Oh. yea. Mr Vsnrterhlooiq. My
Putting It Up to Him.
wOn my wny tn < burrh I pk*feM up
“Ves
lie h »* learned that my ideas daughter Minnie ws* unmarried last
"Patleinv is a virtue.” said the man. a button And put it In rny «hnnge po fe­ are Ilwr*e of ati old fug\ and (hat he
week liv J'idiu- Cutteill." replied the
philosophically.
et, «bere I had » quarter."
«mild I** fnl*e to tils frirst If he did tint lad)
Hart tere
“True." replied bls wife, who thought
M<prswl«»iui. my
do hi* I h * m | («» bring me fu a realizatIon
be ought tn I* earning more money R«rf it Ini*»* tbe
• f
pdlabtr condition* < 'hi* ago
A Qu»ey.
“And I'll provide the ¡«Hence for this ’nlwtjike?*’
Record llentkl
F«lr I’stron The ¡»¡«ers say you han­
family If you’ll ouly provide tbe bus
"Ko.
found It! I ¡mt in tbe quar
dle tus II here ky the ton Post IBs «Ifk-
tie
Detroit Free i’rews
ter Judvr
Yes Indeed
Fair Patron— Well, my
finto* I« going away for a >tiplg ef
Borrow.ng Trouble.
Calm Beier» Storr».
days What kind of s »¡teclaI rate will
“Ever since his wtfe baa brought suit
"Why thia hush in the bouse this
"It’s tieautlfill! l»ld you giake It you give me per ton?—Womau'a Heme
for divorce tie has looked terribly wor­ elaborate tifUoeing about Y*
yourself Y'~ New Orleans Times I temo Companion
ried
"Hah! Mother la getting ready to ask erat.
-He oughtn't to worry she ll prob­ fattier for a little extra money.“—
Good Foe an Os«aoional Bouguok.
ably get It”-Houston Post
I’ll tslxirgb Po«t.
He Remembered.
“He offers me a platonic frivndaBM
Rhe Voti brute? W'heti f roti sen ted
“Take It.” sd»lw«d ber girl bum
a j.wtl'-Wme «Hence Is always hotter
If thou tnkeet time Into thy affaire It tn m»rrj ron I «ain't think where my
•until something belter couses atsap.'
this truth spokes without < tiarlty - will allay aud arrange all tblugs. —Apul be id wa« lie <>n my shoulder «tear
-Lusis»Ule Luur.vr JouruaL
- Luüdvu
,
iwdsruA_____
Lie huw*