Tillamoolc Headlight, January 8, 1913. ! latest inventions of otber creottv» THE OLD STUFF. HE CAUGHT IT. brains. “I aiust go out and look for a job of some kind tomorrow. If my My eon. when you go to a vodyvflto al but Nat In the Way He Had ExpeatoM TouU notice (bat people will • hr tea e eyes didu't trouble me so much I'd try ar Deaired. e bookkeeping, but what's tbe use? I U hikes they have heard since the to | 'I be ferry dock was crowded long anu believe Sarah has a boiled dinner to­ weary - bomegoers -------- . • through the And heard twenty times every wash. when day. Well. 1'iu glad of that If there's "he moral la plain it you'll road aa 1 crowd rushed a man-hot. excited. to- nut: • one thing I enjoy It is an old fashion ■ Sen to the chin with bundles of every e ed boiled dluuer.” A novelty adds to our zest. e ihn|ie Hial size He sprluted dowu the Evideiices of the dinner of corned But when It comes down to extracting 1 e “moti" pier. Ills eye« fixed ou a ferryboat tmiy A New | beef and cabbage jiermeated tbe little Tba old stuff acts over the heat. e two or three feet out from tbe pier. Mr. Top­ e bouse from front to latck Resolution He |tauned but an instant on the atrla*- bam leaned back iu bls chair and II may be all rlaht when you're u eart e a dame plece. aud then, cheered ou by tbe e smoked easily aud read tbe |>aper froiu Tu talk about Ibaen and such; crowd, he made a flying leap across tbe beginning to eud, not even omitting tost. lake it from me—If you'd wla at 1 Intervening stretch of water aud land- By MILDRED JERNEGAN tbe “want" columns, which were pain­ game. I You won't slick to Ibsen so mush. eti safely ou tbe deck. A fat man bap- fully suggestive of work. tell her that she's of a beau petted tu be standing on tbe exact spot In tbe kitchen Sarah Topbam flew Tevi'll mold. ou which be struck, and they both The Topbams grew poorer every around from table to stove, to sink and A stunner becomingly dr o ope d. went dowu with a resounding crash year. Ou the 1st day of January pantry aud back to table again. There Tsa'U tell all the Ilea that met have told. When tbe arriving man bad somewhat Samuel Topham registered a solemn was a high color in ber cheeks, and The old stuff gets over the Seal recovered bls breath be apologised to vow that on tbe very uext day be : ber blue eyes flashed strangely as she . tbe fat man. “I hope I didn't hurt would set forth in quest of work for went to and fro. preparing tbe good to politico, business, society. aM you.” be said. “I am sorry. But, any­ ■owever the world has progroa«e< the ensuing year—work that would dinner, tilling iu gaps of time witb tbe ■ eUli remains true to tbe words I way, I caught tbe boat!” bring him in a steady income with making of a cake or a batch of biscuit pan "But. you idiot” aaid tbe fat which to support his growing family. for tbe customers who were only too “Yhe old stuff gets over the heat "tbe boat waa coming la!" On tbe 2d day of January Mr. Top­ glad to buy her toothsome wares. A knock came at tbe back door, fol­ bam usually had a brilliant idea—a He Wished For Her. A Gun In th» brain splitting conception of a patent lowed by tbe anxious face of ber near- They were dining in a restaurant dishwashing machine or a baby tender ■ est neighbor. Mrs. Morris. "I’m iu a heap of trouble, Mrs. Top- and be bad ordered a whole roast that mlgbt take tbe place of a paid chicken. nursemaid, or an automatic flapjack baiu." began tbe visitor, sinking into a “You see." be explained as be show­ griddle which not only would grease chair, "and when I smelled your boiled Itself, but would also tip a suspended dinner 1 wondered if you wouldn't help ed ber tbe wisbbone. "you take bold pitcher of batter so that one might I me out.” bere. Then we must both make a have a continuous succession of well wlnli aud pull, and when It breaks tbe "What is it?” asked Sarah prac- browued flapjacks as fast as one could i tically. one who has tbe bigger part of It will remove them from the self greasing, have bls or ber wish gratified." "You know we never have dinner at nonburning, self adjusting griddle. noon ou Saturday: I always wait and “But 1 don't know what to wish Anything in tbe way of a work saver have it when William comes home at 7 for." she protested. or labor eliminator appealed to the in­ o’clock. Today 1 only bad a few sand “Ob, you can think of something,'* ventive faculty of Samuel Topham. lie said. wicbes for lunch, because Pm going As these ideas attacked Samuel on down to my sister's to dinner tonight, “No. I can't." she replied. “I can't the second day of the new year, of and William will meet me there. Not think of anything I want very much.” course be then abandoned tbe idea of five minutes ago I had a telephone call "Well. I'll wish for you!” be ex- seeking manual labor and devoted from the depot saying that my aunt ■Tes. air; with this weapon you are claimed. himself exclusively to tbe perfecting of and her busband and their four chil­ absolutely invincible.” "Will'you. reallyF* »be asked. thl» latest patent. Under these cir­ dren are passing through bere on their "Yes." cumstances It became necessary for way to Westlake and will be at my "Well. then, there's no vise fooling Mrs. Topham to And some means of bouse at dinner time: that's fifteen min­ with the ole it cheerfully and without complaint, tltes. Would you sell me your dinner?" To After Dinner Speaker«, for tbe Topbams, great and small, had i Sarah puckered her brow an Instant If .von are enthusiastic and amtrt- infinite faith in “pa’s” inventions and ami then It cleared. “Yes. of course.” tlonx. why uot begin In tba following contentedly scrimped and saved so that she said sensibly. “Shall I dish it up mn liner? one day all of them mlgbt live sumptu­ for von. or will you carry tbe pots over? I shall detain you only— ously on tbe proceeds of his success— I've got a |KJt of lotatoes boiled sepa As I look about me— when It should really come to pass. Before 1 begin my remarks I should rateiy.” Ou this particular New Year’s rnoru- like— "I'll take the pots over. Have you iug Samuel bad registered bls custom­ IVe are confronted by a greet— got a pie to spare?” ary vow with more than his accustom- I bad not inteuded thia evening— "Yes." snid Sarah calmly, bringing ed vigor. The past Is behind us, but tbe great the last pie in the house and folding it •'There's no use talking. Sarah,” he "Very well. then, band over your future— In a clean napkin. "Want any help?” kitchen , said, sinking heavily _____ . into ___ __ a ______ The new generation Is even now— “No. indeed. I've got time to run cash.”—Pele Mele. chair and looking appealingly at bls The vital problem of tbe day la— hack and forth. I'm a thousand times plump little wife from bis prominent Thtolen the "Etheth." It Is possible that there may ba some obliged to you, Mrs. Topham. I’ll bring light blue eyes, “I haven’t got tlie One morning tbe Brownsville Sento- In this audience who­ my pocketbook over uext trip.” heart to see you go tbrougb another lt requires a great deal of courage At 12:30 Sarah Topbam called ber rtau published tbe following ludicrous year like the last. Tomorrow morning to— seven little girls in to dinner, and. as announcement: I shall set out and find a job. some- I have hesitated to mention this mat­ “It ith witb deep regret that we an this was the signal for Samuel to also thing that will at least bring us in appear at the table, they all gathered noutice to our many frlendtb and tbub- ter before, but— bread and cheese.” When we consider some of tbeae MW t her I berth in thlth mornlngth edition about the board together. “You've snid that before, Sam," re- The little girls clapped their bands that tbltb ethtablithmeut watb robbed problems that press In upon us we— turned Sarah placidly. “You haven't over a great dish of boiled rice and a latbt night and all the ‘ethetb* In gM to worry about that. I’m making huge pitcher of milk that formed th« tbtock were thtolen. It Ith evident enough from my baking to pay the gro- Qeneroaity. that tbe motive for tbltb crime watb principal dishes on the table. -W and butcher, and we can wear our “It's easy to be generous when Mr Tbe face of Samuel Topham was a purely malicioutb. tbuppothedly per­ old clothes for a little while louger. 1 study in disappointment when be sur­ petrated by tbome unknown and ln- mi demand la grad fled.” exclaimed am sure the automatic griddle will be veyed tbe plain meal. Sarah avoided vltblble enemy of tbltb lutbtltutlon. Henry Miller, tbe actor. “There was a money maker. Why, whenever I feel bls eyes ami (toured out two cups of Intbtead of embarratbthlng utb tbuf- otice a little girl who Invaded tbe draw­ extra tired I Just think how easy we flclently to prevent tbe Tbentorlan lug room where ber slater's fiance was tea. will have it when that automatic grid­ from going to pretbth, atb watb in waiting. “ You ’ ve forgotten tbe boiled dinner, ” dle Is on the market and you”— “'Here.' said the child, "bere la a tended, we have tburmonnted all dtffl- he ventured rather timidly. Samuel lifted a fat hand and shook cultleth and are pleathed to tbupply our randy for you.' And sbe gave Hilary "Ob. no; there isn ’ t any boiled din- bls bend sadly, "rm afraid that the patrontb with a larger and more inter- McMasters a bard, white lozenge. automatic griddle Is not a success.” be uer." returned Sarah Calmly. “I sold "•Oh. what a nice white lozenge!* it to Mrs. Morris. She had unexpected etbtlng Tbentorlan than utbual thlth announced in 11 hollow voice. morning. We wltbb to stbtbure our said the young man, putting it In bis company.'* "Not—a— success?” Sarah Topham's "Sold the dinner? Are we to eat this frlendth that before the next Itbtbue mouth and beginning to tuck vigor voice showed more genuine dismay — rice?" Mr. Topbam's voice was elo­ goeth to pretbth we will be tbupplled ntiMly. than it bad done in the ease of tbe “ 'Yes. fon t It?' ll«ped the little girl, with three timetb atb many 'ethetb' quent of disgust. failure of the dishwasher and tbe baby 'It was Ktrlix-d wlv pink ouce.' nth the t beo il nd rei tbtolef* "Of course. It ’ s very nourishing. tender, which hud been the last two luting's Magazine inventions of her husband's restless Samuel. You kuow tbe Japanese liv« Why He Couldn’t Go In. brain Now she removed her hands almost entirely upoti rice and fish. Weather Wise. A small but very black negro was from a bowl of Hour and surveyed I They whipped tbe Russians, you In s certain town tlie local forecaster know. ” standing very erect at one aide of tbe Samuel's gloomy countenance with a door of a house where a colored mao ot the Heatlier was so often wrong "1 kuow. But I’m hungry. Sarah.” severe look on her usually good ua- “if you eat rice enough. Samuel. I'm bad Just died Tbe services were ationt ■ that hi« predictions becnine a »funding tured face. "You have heard suiue- sure you can get along I've been to begin, when the negro clergy ma ■ I Jol'.e. t<> hl« uo email annoyance, tor he thing new?' sbe asked thinking that we would live entirely ap[iean-d at tbe door and said to tbe was very sensitive. At length. In de­ I "Yes I had a letter—a most ¡tecul- spair of living dowu his reputation, In­ on rice until the automatic griddle la a little fellow: larly worded letter—from Mr. Bow- naked fiendipiarteni to transfer him to "Tbe services are about to begin success. Rice is cheap, aud we need man.” admitted Samuel, taking au en- another station. Aren't you coming Inside?' velo|>e from bis pocket and surveying all I can earn to”— A brief correspondence ensued. “I would If I could." said tbe small "Oil. very well. Sarah, you needn't the superscription resentfully. "Why.’- asked headquarters. "do you "Well, what did be say. Samuel? explain any further." said Samuel, witb boy. "but you see I’s de crape.”—La­ wish to be transferred?* You know you asked him for a candid great dignity, aud forthwith attacked dies' Home Journal. •'Because." tbe forecaster promptly opinion of Its merits. He's your sec­ bls rice aud milk gloomily. replied, "tbe climate doesn’t agree with All the afternoon be spent in moody Generosity. ond cousin and ought not to be afraid me."—Bellman. cogitation before tbe air tight stove in A large, husky negro and a »mall to speak right out.” "He spoke right out," muttered Sam­ tbe parlor. He did not see bis wife Frenchman were sawing a large piece slip quietly out of the side door and of timber for tbe Boston subway with uel bitterly. hasten down tbe street and turn into a heavy crosscut saw. each In turn ”What did be say?’ "He said." returned Samuel reluc­ tbe wide driveway of Moses Bowman’s pulling It back and forth. A pugilistic tantly. "that no one except an unmid- handsome borne. He did not see ber man stopped to watcb the o(ierntion. jated Idiot and a constitutionally lazy when sbe returned with flushed cbeekn After a few moments be strolled up to tbe negro and dealt him a blow, aay- and» shiftless loafer would ever have aud resumed her work in tbe kltcben "Rice for supper, too?’ be asked die Ing »pent a year of God's good time io “Give tbe aaw to tbe little fellow If perfecting such a fool'a idea as my mally at U o'clock that night. "Yes. indeed. I'm greatly taken witb be wants it”—Harper a. automatic griddle. I believe you mlgbt tbe Ideu. Samuel. ” cried bls wife en ­ call that a candid opinion.” "Why —tbe—idea!" gasped Sarah Top­ thusiastically. “Let us live upon rice A Gallant Answer. and milk until one of your inventlone ham angrily. "Ton seem to be an ablebodied man. is (lerfected. I ’ m sure the children are "1 «ball seek a Job tomorrow,” went You ought to be strong enough to willing to do it ” I work.” on Samuel weakly Mr. Topham »aid nothing at all in He was surprised at bis wife's “I know, mum. And you seem to be prompt reply. "It's a good Idea. Sam­ reply, and when tbe meal was cod - beautiful enough to go on tbe stage, uel." »be said energetically. "I'm eluded he put on bis bat and left tbs but evidently you prefer tbe simple sfrald that we haven't capital enough bouse. It was significant that be. too. life.” turned into tbe Moses Bowman place, to wait until tbe griddle la a success.” After that speech he got a square At 9 be returned to find Sarah darn- meal and no reference to tbe wood pile. “Of course. Sarah, when you lo«e faith In me I must go to tbe wall." ing stockings before tbe fire. -Meddler. “Whet ar« yon using that above! “I've got a Job. Sarah," be said in said Samuel Topbam with dignity, and torr 00. folding tbe frankly written letter a heartbroken voice. “Moses Bowman Mia Choice. “To dig with, you ninny.” of bin wood cousin, tbe Inventor left says be will give me a life Job In bls Blobba—If yon ware going In for mo “What are you digging for?' office an nsnl»tant bookkeeper I've tbe kitchen and strolled into the par str which Instrument would you “Oh. for about twenty minute«.”— lor of the cottage, where hla morrta taken it nnd go to work Monday morn choose? Pittsburgh Pruaa. I can't live on rice sod milk chair was drawn before a glowing lit­ ing Blobba—Wail, I’ve always thought I whether tbe world lone» flapjack grid would Ilka to be a aololat on a caab tle air tight stove. All Mo Had. From tbe window be con Id see bls dies or not I don't suppose there ever regietoe - Philadelphia Record. Henry Augustus was learning to »even diminutive daughters coasting will be an Invention to equal that one " drees himself. He was not as blg as "I don't know at>out that" said Sa down tbe bill that sloped from their tbe name sound» cottage to tl>e highroad He sighed rab Topham to herself a« sbe broiled a Mother, looking on. said. "Why. my deeply. If bls wonderful at hemes had st silk sbe bad secreted to celebrate this son. you have shoes on the wrong only carried out soccesafnlly these sev­ aMk'iiwted event *T don't know about feet"' I've an invention of my own en daughters would each be an beflraan tbat "WolL” sen Henry Aegnstoa. warning rich fur coats and «rmtoe tbnt would make me a millionaires» If I have ta "they're tbe only hoods Instead of bright little red cap« t could get it on tbe market, but I ont"—J end cloaks fashioned by Sarsb'e busy gnem I’ll have to give It to my daugb bands tors for wedding gifts some day I "Hi-bum" sighed Samuel, filing bls goes» I'll call It Mrab Topbam's Au­ pipe and reaching for tbe morning tomatic Genius Cure.* for it enrtatnly newspaper. It was neeaaaary far Mam will make a man work when nothing •»el to subscribe to a New York dally etoe appeals to him. Starve * paper la order to keep track of the I any TkM’e my tovstlun!" MRS. TOPHAM’S INVENTION e e e JOHN Tillamook & COUNSEL L< »R-AT-LA W, Tillamook Block, Tillamook,Or. Room No 261. at Year’s I HENDERSON, ATTORNEY’ Baker’s Bread Sold L ? All Grocers i MCGE.', M.I) T T , T. BOTTS, *• •*• A ttornky - at -L aw . ’omnlete set <>f Abstract P'-ok* no fie*, raxes paid faint»- Residents. PHYSICIAN & Tillamook Block. SURGEON. Both phnrra Office : One Block East of CARL HABERLACH, Post Office. ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, FAMILY RECIPES Tillamook Block. EORGE WILLETT, The valued family re­ cipes for cough and cold cure, liniments, tonics and other remedies have as careful attention here as the most intricate prescrip­ tions. YrrokMgv-AT-L,AW. Tillamook Commercial Bnilaii g. T illamook Our fresh, high grade drugs will help to make these remedies more effec­ tive than ever. Right prices assured. T. BOALH, MJ). PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, ttllamook . arc also ■* • a an a «« * * O rbdo . j . Tillamook Block. m CLOUGH, KERRON, Reliable Druggist. PHYSICIAN & SURGEON Tillamook Block, O * • « « Mh *. • imi Tillaincok, \v. .. Oregon U. HAWK, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, BAY CITY, OREGON. R. BEALS, REAL ESTATE, F inancial A gknt , Tillamook, Oregon. GOYNE, A ttoìinkv - at -L aw . Office : Opposite Court House. T illamook , O kkoon *’• J- SHARP, HARNESS RESIDENT DEJTISe, Office acions the atxeet liv. O k Court H ook . Dr. Wine'« office. SQZS: with the problem of buy ng Harneas you will find it diHlinctly advantH gcous to come nnd do 5'our «elect ing here. You will get t^e tent <|iialitiei»,* llic tn >nt thorough mid conHcientioiiH workmanship nnd tie charged the in >«t rea«enal>le prices. We can supply single or douhlr Seta or any single article that you may lie in need of. p «ARCHET, . The Fashionable Tr C.eauiug, Pressing R< 10g a Specialty. W.A. Williams & Co y. Si *rr in Heins PhoiogT >ti'c Mm floor to Tilla oioom i''nntv Dark. Gallery. J. CLAUSSEN, LAWYER, E • 313 Tillamook Block, I’ I LLAMOOS REEDY, OflMK D.V.M., VETERINARY <»b.th PiiooeaL Tillamoo Oregon. A Morning Reminder. • * You awake with a mean, naatV taatein the mouth, which remitoie you that your stomach is in a had condition. It should also renaxi you that there is nothing so good for a disordered stomach aa Chamberlain’s Stomach and Liver lablets. A • Th«« I mm U up th. eyetawi. aaeM uatuvu so VMUur. natural condMioM, and ar« to trwaie to thmartton that on. hardly real- ■ are • neMketo. was taken. Chaaebartoto’a Bewer ripe for Sal For Hile s« 11 alzi s of s-eir t'p' and «ewer connection». ><■<• I. II McNabs a. I