Tillamoolc i*mev!„g • ior of an Ausiralian mining was a noted boxer, had been *ouie mouths, and Just be- tturn to his mayoral duties nrt passed u vote of censure kt the next meeting of the icil the mayor was present tbe minutes of the previous to contain this: >f censure was passed on the outstaying bis leave, and it red to ask for an explana- Lposed this vote of censure?" be mayor. ¡said a councilor. d. did you?” »aid the mayor, from bls presidential chair, [e that!" and he struck him In the face. “Who seconded lotion?" he asked quietly. I no answer. "Who seconded Ition?" he asked again. Still no answer. “Then." said tile iking up his pen. “as there seconder. it's out of order, iff the minutes!" Iscting a Quean Cow! Jfaoue valley. Switzerland, an ■ary ceremony is carried out y This is the choosing of a t by tbe cows themselves. A tuber of cows, over 2C0 at be assembled in a field to |eir queen. The queen cow is ■hlcb is strong enough to fight Ler cows off the pasture and [possession of it herself. Tile if the cows are not allowed to L their beasts in any way. hr of owning a queen cow is bveted by tbe local herdsmen, Ido everything they can in or- rn their animal out a winner, bagerness to bring their beasts tell on tbe day of battle many rdsmen feed them a week or a I beforehand on bread and be cows descend from a fight­ end are always eager to have | The "election" of the queen n lasts the greater part of the [is watched by crowds, who the scene from miles round. Headlight, November 2s 1912; Wrongly Labeled. Lighting th* Hou** of Commons. The author of "Two Year* In tbe The bouse la very often sparing of Forbidden City.” the Princess. Her tbe gas bill, remarks tbe Manchester Ling, was a Indy In waiting at the I Guardian On a quiet afternoon tbe ' court of tbe famous empress dowager debate will go on In tbe fading light of Cbiua Her majesty, the princess of day till members cau hardly see tells us. had an excellent estimate of I one another's faces, and then tbe clerk herself "I have often thought." she of tbe bouse suddenly realizes that he ouce confessed. "that I am the moat cannot see the paper under bls nose. clever woiuau that ever lived Hnd He looks up and finds tbe house wrap­ that others cannot comps re with me." ped in shadows. He touches a bell, a Nottvitlistanding this favorable opin­ servant comes In and re<-elves tbe di- ion. there were Interesting lapses In rections for the lights. The light is ' universal knowledge, aa when Miss turued on In tbe attic above the glass Carl paluted her i>ortrait. and her ma­ panels with the rendering of tbe red jesty noticed tbe artist's signature I d rose. It arrives In tbe house like a i the corner of tbe canvas. shower of rain on a summer night 1 “Well. I know foreigners do some First a faint tentative stirring, a soft­ funny things." she remarked, “but I ening. a sponge In the face, then after think this is about tile funniest I ever that the deluge, and the room below beard of. Fancy putting her name on Is drenched In a mellow downpour. my picture. This will naturally con The dark a|>ncea beneath the g-illerles vey tbe impression that it is a portrait drink It up like a thirsty land. The of Miss Carl and not a portrait of my­ whole scene Is refreshed. Strair'ers In self nt all." the house look up into the roof and Even after the princess—who was of then they sit up and liegin a more in western education— had explained, and telllgent rending of the men and things the empress had consented to allow below. tbe signature to remain, she was any­ Dropping the English “H." thing but satisfied. In the days when packet ships ran I -------------------------- between New York and London a Don’t Be Too Expart. youthful passenger asked the English Having graduated from a business mate of the Christiana what there wax college with honors, the young man in the leather fulling around the gun- thought himself competent to tackle wales of the lifelavits. any problem In banking that could be "Hair, sir." be answered. learned without actual experience, but "Is there anythlug |iecullnrly buoy- tbe old clerk knew better. "Can you make an erasure so neatly ant about hair?" asked the American youth. that It would take an expert to tell "If you don’t know that you don't where It bad been done?” be asked. “Yes. air." said tbe young man, with know much." replied the mate, with a look of contempt as he moved to an conscious pride. other part of the ship. “Well, for heaven's sake don’t tell The youth was humiliated and a few your pros[>ective employer so or you will be looking for a Job this time next days later asked the captain why hair was so buoyant In water. That au­ year.” the old clerk said. “Employers are afraid of too much thority replied that he didn't know that skill in that direction. It gives such it wns and inquired why the youth enormous opportunities for fraud that thought It was so. “Why. sir. your mate told me that they will tight sby of hiring you. "I found that out in my young days. there wns hair in the tubes of the life 1 also was an expert with tbe ink boats to make them float when ca|>- eraser and proudly proclaimed my ac­ sized ." "Ah!" answered tire captain, laugh complishment. Finally when 1 found myself toeing the starvation mark I ing. “He’s a Cockney; be means air.” I ceased to boast und have held a good position ever since.”—New York Times. j ! | ’ j i I i | Funny Featant Netlewa. Foetical Inspiration. O»ngr,-»xmau (£ W. Towusend st ’ Tbe astruiiumical lore of the llnsalan New Jersey, author of “Chlmml* Fad- peasantry of the north, center and den." told a yarn of poetical Inspira­ south of »be empire lx limited to a tion which Is weird, to say the least knowledge of the existence of the sun He was paying bl* first visit to Hono­ and the moon and stars, of three con lulu. some fwenty-ti'e year* ago. and stellatloux. of the Milky way. of one was greeted at the wharf by Charle* planet, of comets, shooting star* aud Dana Stoddard, one of bls close per­ meteors. Tbe aim lx to all a myaterl- sonal friends. Townsend bad decided ou* aud beneficent being. Tbe moon, covered with Ice and to go to one of tbe local hotel* and Stoddard tried to dissuade him. desir­ •now. is ever kt flight from Its broth ing him to live at a bungalow high up er, the sun Upon Its disk Is portray­ N'uuanu valley, which the poet bad oc­ ed tbe murder of Abel by Cain, lit* cupied for some months. He describ­ latter being done to death with a pitchfork. The lunar rays are malig­ ed Ita charms as follow*: “Ed. it's tbe most beautiful spot ia nant, aud evil comes to those who The tbe world Sitting on tbe front porch sleep unprotected from them you can look down the valley, over tbe borus of the moon afford Information as to the weather wonderful flowering trees, groie* of The stars are lamps or candles light cocoanut palms and polncianas. to the sea, with Its hundreds of shades of ed and extinguished by the Eternal A color, from gray to the deepest bine of shooting star Is the soul of one lu«t heaven. And for poetical inspiration | passed away Comets are heralds of I cau. sit on my back porch, where I : war and famine. No Russian ever do ut.v work, and throw the ashes forgets that the Napoleonic war fol­ lowed tbe great comet of l.hllEx from my cigarette on tbe graves of twe cbauge. suicides."—New York World toneoh th* Dining Hour. ** 1 Tbe hour of dining tiu« .idvawnF with the ceuturiex. Froissart mcMia** waiting on the Duke of Lam-aster M I* tbe afternoon after be had «uppaG and was about to go tu bed. and th* prefne* of tbe Heptauierun »bowa that tbe queen of Navarre dined at IF • clock tn tbe morn Ing. From th* Northumberland Household Btxik. dated 1512. w* ieuru that tbe ducal family rose at A brenkfuated at 1. dluvxl at 10. sop;»«] at 4 and retire« for the night at 8 Loula XIV. did oat dine till 12. while his contemixirarlea, Cromwell and Charles IL. took th* meal at 1. In ITUi tbe hour was ad vamed to 2. I* 1731 we find th* Dm liexe of Romerset dining at S. **d in I7t« Cowp*r «|>eaks of 4 o'clock a* the fashionable ttrne After tbe batilg of Waterloo tbe dinner hour waa al­ tered to d. rnom which time It boa ad-i vanned by half hour stage« to 8 Hol that In 4ut one of Wagner's long eras has often been cotn- on. but perhaps not more lan In London. Well up stage was a burly figure in evidently a Scottish farmer Dine to London to see the hear the sounds. After sit- fa three long acts he mur- Ibly. “'Twas a patient mon bll this!” i ------------ — No Aniwtr Handy. This is only worth the telling, writes a correspondent. because It contains a retort which, though n triumph of in­ consequence. seems to me quite unan­ swerable. I happened to be reading some obvious uewspaper proofs In a train when the good natured man next to me. with tbe Intention no doubt of making himself agreeable, asked. “Ah. are you connected with the press?" I Intimated briefly and perhaps not over- courteously that It was none of his business. He persisted that It was a quite civil inquiry, which I met with the remark that I hnd not asked him whether he was a clerk or a shop as­ sistant. As he was obviously neither, this nettled him. “If ( knew." he *ald. "what newspa|>er you belong to I would never buy it again."—Ixindon Chronicle. Thackeray and Dicksn*. This is tbe way George Henry Lewes once characterized Thackeray and Dickens in the way of service to a friend: Dickens, he said, wonld not give you a farthing of money, but he would take no end of trouble for you He would spend n whole day. for In­ stance. In looking for the most suitable lodgings for you and would spare him­ self neither time nor fatigue. Thacke­ ray would take two hours' grumbling Indecision anti hesitation in writing a two line testimonial, but he would put bls hand Into bis pocket aud give you a handful of gold and bank notes if you wanted them. Impertinent. the word "Impertinent“ prely "not belonging to.” IlfTe said that there were In this world who were Bonus. Ho earthly lords" be did “Bonus" ought to lie "bonum.” since pat they were “cheeky,” Ibat they had no masters. it Is evidently Intended to mean “a Kd by Shakespeare, "Im- good thing" and therefore should be bme to mean Irrelevant” ■ neuter, not masculine. Tbe word ia |rs ago It was defined aa Is found a* early aa 1773. but no one 'knows who was the Ignorant or will­ ■beard, silly, idle." ful sinner against Ijttln that introduced It. though conjecture assigns it to tbe Wrong One*, lophronla ami lber family London Stock Exchange Tidy. mt there tbe other day. “Is Spooney's wife a good bonse- M my word. there was ,keeper T tog In the bouse but the “Well. I should say an Why. he has to keep a private detective to Iti more American. watch his clothes «o be can tell where to find them Sbe'a so tidy."—Liver­ i*ti*n Failed. ne I saw you you wer» pool Mercury. tgscy and planning on |h flying." Strategy. I heirship was not sue- Tommy — Pop. what la strategy? [■<11 Pioneer Pre** Tommy’* Pop-Strategy, my eon. con­ sist* of finding out our neighbor's wenknea* before he find* out our*.— rista Advie*. into aoma occupatimi Philadelphia Record It." t peddle rat trapar— No one love* tbe man whom he festa. -Aristotle. Th* Crit*ri*n of Danger. Giving Him a Choic*. The Duke of Wellington once drove “I don't want oatmeal!” acre«med tbe Sir George Warrender from Windsor kid. "You must have oatmeal.” said his in his carriage The duke drove so fu­ riously that Sir George, dreading every father. “Never force anything on a child like momeut that a terrible collision would occur. Iiegged him not to drive *o fast that.” lnterjtosed uncle, who has theo­ “Pooh. |*»h!" said his grace. " Where ries. “Always give the child a choice." there lx no fear there lx no danger " “All right.” said tbe father “Now. “My dear duke." replied Sir George. kid. you can have oatmeal or you can 'If fear is the criterion of danger for have a clip on tbe Jaw. Which Is ItT heaven's sake stop and let me get out. The child took oatineal.-Washlngtou for I was never In such a funk tn my Herald. life.”—London Mull. in Doubt. Ethel (who is not famous for her good look*»—1 don't see why you should call Miss Whitmore plain I'm sure 1 only wish I were half ns good looking a* she 1». Fred-You are. Ethel; you know you are. (And Ethel 1.» wonder­ ing whether be meant to complinrent her.) To* Sweat. Mra. Beach—Here I* a letter from Charles. Mr Reach—Read li Mr*. Reach (reading>-My dearest, darling eat mother Mr Beach-Great heav en*! The scoundrel needs more money Mi* Raaeurc** About Exhausted. Father—Do yon think yon can «up- port her in tbe style to which «be ha* been accustomed? Suitor—Not In tbe style to which »be has been acene- tented since we became engaged D«ing Right. Doing tbe right, or what you honestly believe to be right, breed* courage in accordance with natural law It In­ spirée a reçoive, and In its wake com* a boat of minor virtue* Duty make* ns do thing* well. bet love makes os do them lienoflfnlly.— Phillipe Bro«,tes A Formidable Feast. Th* First Mountain**». Wentworth Woodhouse has leag A Munich paper tuia been aearchlng been famed for its hospitality. On the records of history to discover who Jan. 7. 1732. Richard Wardman, the were the first mountain climber*. It steward of Wentworth Woodhouse, gives the palm to Mosea for hta «■*• writes that "My lord 1» to have a great cent of Mount Rlnal and mice oeror In the seventh cen­ trenchers: he finds him wood, and tbe tury was the flrst to make climbing man makes them, and when the day fashionable In the east, but the first I* over he Is to have them all for hl* true tourists tn Europe seem to hav* labour» Ills lordship has taken a b<«cn Dante. Petrnr«-h and laxmard. great deal of pains to make a nice cal­ Then came the Emperor Maximilian culation how they nr to sit and dine, I., who used to hunt In the moun­ for It lx thought there will be about • tains near Innsbruck, and after him Hunderd men that day—and a great Conrad von Gcxner and .losiaa Hlmler piece of folly I say.”—London Chron­ explored the Swlxa mouutalna. But icle. rllmblng for pleasure *uch aa we know It today whs not thought of until quit* Ether. Ether was known to tlie earlleM recently. chemists. Nitric ether waa discovered by Kunkel In BiSI and muriatic ether, from the chloride of flu. In 17118, by Courtanvaux Acetic ether wax Aral prepured by Gay-Lussac. Tlie lieuefi cent discovery that ether is capable of rendering one Insensible to pain la due to Drx Jackson anil Morton, who. about the year 1840. Introduced It into tbe practice of surgery. Home claim that ax between the two men the bon or* are about easy Apart from tbe blesaetluess of the discovery of anas* thesis. It is Impossible to estimate th* value of the discovery to surgery a* a science. It enables tbe delicate opera­ tion that would otherwise be Impoea*- We.—New York American. A Point of Law. “Do you see that mull ovet there?” The world famous detective spoke to a low whisper, und Ills friend looked gulckly around, scenting a myaterv. “Yes." he replied. Just aa cautiously “Well, he's a professional forger " “Then why don't you arrest hlrnT* aake«l tbe friend In surprise Tbe world famous detective grinned aggrnvatlngly “Can't." lie «ahi briefly "It's not breaking tbe lnn< erxallon with r«n my dear Ml«« Itotierta! Fomehvvw roar Intellect seem« to sppenl to mlm- Ara you a lllerarv lady? Ml«« N*; I *ni a teacher In an Infant f bo*l' E»*y •Woman mnat tw Independent." «ah’ th* »uffragette orator. But the qoe* tton 1«. How ran we get lb<- <*tw wages that men dof "Marry them and be on the loti Ret grday bight" augge*t««d a men* ■*• to the audience -Exchange Mi*und*r*te*d. "Before you were married be aald be would go through tir» and water for you. didn't he?" “T thought he did. hot I think *»»w that I misonderstirxi him I tto*> b* must have aald fire **t*r **—•i^ÄF Hardwerfcing Dollar. “1 nnflcvd n atntem*nt in au »a»*«ra p*t«»r the other iln.v that has disquiet­ ed me h good deni." said a ttleveiand man recently “The Item called to my attention the fait that It takes s dol­ lar at the usual rate of Interest n.or* than two years to earn a dime. Yow can see the effect Every time I spend a dime I think of that tolling dollar spinning awn.v In the dark aomewosr*. The dime I spend means more than two years of steady application, and yet I let It go ns If It were of too «malt value to tie nt nil considered. tVhv, It takes n dollar more than a year to earn 5 cents! Think of that when yon slip the next nickel acroae. It really ninkes me feel uncomfortable. I wish 1 hadn't rend the atnpld thing."— Cleveland Plain Dealer 8ub«id*nc* ef th* Bermuda*. It Is contended that the Bermuda tetnt'ds are merely the remnant of nn laland. very much larger than the pres­ ent entire group, which hits sunk Into the ocean The original Island. It tn asserted, hud an ares of or 41« square miles, whereas th«« llert’ ' dll* of today ar« only about twenty ► junr* miles lu urea Within a • omptiritlvelr (•cent p«rl<«d. aci-ordlng to Verrlll. th* lleriiiodaa have »•rb- ldixl at least H<> or 1(M> feet Their Iwtae 1« the summit of an an< lent volcano, while their aurfac* 1« < <>mf«»«e’l of -hell «and drift»*! into hilts liy tlie wind Hnd ranaolldated by Infiltration -Harper« Th* Largest *f Thair Kind*. The . .........st bank In the world In th* Bunk of Lnglund: the largest llbrnrv I* the National In Pari«, containing neat­ ly 3j«n. 'hat p*raon I« a auc.-**« I* • Ane «eu»* of tbe word. Your real lagw»n