TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, AUGUST 3, 1Ô11 LAUGHTER AND TEARS. k Comedy Soane In Which Grief Play­ ed a Loading Part. "Stage fright la not one of tbe emo- Iona which get acroaa the footlights." vritea Mlaa Alice Crawford. "Audl- incea are for tbe moat part as serene- y unconscious of It as they are of Cher Individual sentiments In the ac­ re having no relation to tbe ind­ ents of tbe play. “I shall never forget an Instance of bls curious Insensibility of tbe crowd. Ince when I was touring one of tbe nost charming and popular girls of Pe company died after only a few ys' illness. She was one of those weet. tranquil natures and had en- , teared herself to us all. Her death it lodgings in the small provincial >wn had an element of real tragedy I it. “The news that she was dead reach d the theater in the evening just as wo of the actors and I were ulxlllt to o on for a scene of broad comedy, Ve went on tbe stage with tears in ur eyes, and I can still see tbe face f one of those comedians with the ivut rent tv. tears calo glistening i inixu a ,711 on x the paint. le as dreadfully affected Try as e would, be could not control bls olce, and tbe tears kept choking him s be rattled off bls lines. “The audience were convulsed every me hla voice broke, and it made me ■Jry more than ever to see tbe grief shaking him as be grinned and chaffed hrough bis tears. Yet that comedy icene never went so well before. The udlenee never guessed."—Exchange. STORY OF A MUD HEN Vfnd th» Man Who Tried to Shoot or Drown the Bird. Found a Way to Help. A worthy old Quaker who lived in a country town In England was rich and benevolent, and bls means were put In frequent requisition for pur­ poses of local charity or usefulness. The townspeople wanted to rebuild their parish church, and a committee was appointed to raise funds. It was agreed that the Quaker could not be asked to subscribe toward an object so contrary to bls principles; but then, on tbe other hand, so true a friend to the town might take it amiss if he was not at least consulted on a mat­ ter of such general interest. So one of their number went and explained to him their project; the old church was to be removed and such and such steps taken toward the construction of a new one. “Thee wast right,” the Quaker said, “in supposing that my principles would not nllow me to assist In build Ing n church. But didst thee not say something about pulling down a church? Thee may’st put my name down for a hundred pounds."—Meri vale's “Historical Studies.” Eeitomleaa Tarpon Springe. The great body of water which gara tbe name to Tarpon Springs, Fla., Is classed by all of tbe old citizens as bottomless. The center appears to be a bole curbed with jagged rocks. Sometimes tbe weight has lodged and then dropped on to tbe extent of the sounding line afterward. Many citi­ zens say that they know tbe depth to be In excess of 700, 800 and 900 feet Once when a depth of 200 feet was reached an obstruction wns encounter ed; then It was dislodged, dropped on farther, and the line broke. A very heavy weight baa to be used on ac­ count of tbe depth, and when divers are sent down in the springs, as they have been recently, they report tbe same great jagged hole, which, so far as they can find out, is without bot tom. Tbe spring is supposed to be the principal outlet of that beautiful Lake Butler which lies just a mile east of the town. Tidewater comes up into the spring, and it has acquired the name because it was the play ground of tbe silvered king of fish, tbe tarpon.—Manufacturers’ Record. Gautier’s Superstition. Theophlle Gautier, the critic, novelist and poet, like many another great man. was superstitious and believed In the evil eye. Offenbach was bis aversion, and In this respect a Paris contemporary tells us that one day the son and father were walking together The son. for wickedness’ sake, start ed a conversation about Offenbach, and his father gave him to understand that the subject was disagreeable. Noth­ ing daunted, the lad led Gautier to n shop window where was exposed a photograph of the composer. As they resumed their walk the son observed, "Well, you see, father, after all, nothing hns happened through looking at the photograph.” At that moment they were turning the corner, and tbe son preceded bls father. In full view of the passersby Gautier ad­ ministered to his tormentor a paternal kick, observing, half In anger and half In humor, “Well, something has hap- peued." Preferred to Be a Quack. A quack at a fair near Paris was driving a roaring trade selling nos trurus. drawing teeth and beguiling ¡ the crowd In tbe usual ways, says tbe British Medical Journal. The letter of the French law against unqualified practice Is very strong, though owing to the Indifference of the magistrates it is not strictly carried out. This, however, was a particularly flagrant case, and the police felt compelled to Intervene. Tbe quack was therefore accosted by the guardians of the law. taken to a tent at the back of his stand and requested to show his diplo­ ma. To the stupefaction of the gend­ armes he Exhibited a perfectly au thentlc degree of doctor of medicine of the University of Paris. They were profuse In their apologies, which the loctor cut short with an urgent en- ireaty that they should say nothing about what they had seen, “for," he said. “If the people know that I am a qualified doctor I shall have no more customers.” Attack Like Tigers. In fighting to keep the blood pure the white corpuscles attacx disease germs like tigers. But often germs multiply so fast the little fighters are overcome. Then see pimples, boils, eczema, salt rheum and sores multiply and strength and appetite fail. This condition demands Elec­ tric Bitters to regulate stomach, liver and kidneys and to expel poi­ sons from the blood. “They are the best blood purifier,” writes C. T. | Budalin. of Tracy, Calif., “I have ever found.” Th^y make rich, red , blood, strong nerves and build up your health. Try them. 50c at Chas. I. Clough’s. Loss of Time Means L"8S of Pay. Kidney trouble and the ills it breeds means lost time and lost pay to many a working man. M. Balent, 1214 Little Penna St., Strea­ tor, Ill., was so bad from kidney and bladder trouble that he could not work, but he says: “I took Foley Kidney Pills for only a snort time and got entirely well and was soon able to go back to work, and am feeling well and healthier than before.” Foley Kidney Pills are tonic in action, quick in resulta--a good friend to tin- working man or woman who suffers from kidney ills. Chas. I. Clough Co. Many a Suffering Woman Drags herself painfully through her daily tasks, suffering from backache, headache, nervousness," loss of appetite and poor sleep, not knowing her ills are due to kidney and bladder troubles. Foley Kid­ ney Fills give quick relief from pain and misery and a prompt return to health and strength. No woman who so suffers can afford to over­ look Foley Kidney Pills. Clough Co. The j4eui Oeean Going Yacht AYOCEAN J Leaves PORTLAND Tuesdays PORTLAND Saturdays BAYOCEAN Mondays BA YO CEA N Thursdays ff »f ft Round trip from Portland to Bayocean, $10.00. Further information apply to T B. POTTER REALTY CO.'S Office at Bayocean, or phone Child Portraits Made by Us are Child-Like. Just as our portraits of adult« possess strength and character. We are experts in lighting and posing, and our equipment is complete. Come in and see our line. lii "It la n mighty hard thing to down FAMILY lb mud hen.” said I a Portland official. . .V vnrr nn w '« a* collars too tightly buttoned may find “To make a short story, he smoked an oil gland, which provides an anti­ ¡p all hla tobacco In an effort to drown in that practice some explanation of septic secretion to keep the blades w(io mud ben. but when darkness fell symptoms ascribed to other causes? clean. Leaves Portland, Couch St. Dock (gtid he started for home the bird was Tiny Republics. tb^HI floating In the same old spot."— Careless, as Usual. Every Tuesday, Arrives Tillamook Kleln-Alp is a diminutive republic The great baseball player's wife had TONIC IN ACTION - QUICK IN RESULTS anfortland Oregonian. tucked away between Switzerland and never seen a game, but lie finally per- Wednesdays, tai ----------------------- Give prompt relief from BACKACHE, France. Only In summer is tbe re­ suaded her to view one in which he wi A Wedding Ring Superstition, Sailing for Portland, every Thursday or Friday KIDNEY and BLADDER TROUBLE, public inhabited and then by miners was to play. tht Although there was a lifelong i according to Tides. He was doing bls best, of course. RHEUMATISM, CONGESTION of the surlendsbip to back up their business and cowgirls. There Is one hotel, closed bocals, tbe jeweler was not surprised during the winter. Another little re­ Due strike had been culled on him, KIDNEYS, INFLAMMATION of the tlirben bln old customer who hail uuir public Is iu Tyrol, la-tween Austria ■ nd. an uiual In basebull anecdotes, BLADDER and all annoying URINARY do ed s second time twilight the wedding and Italy, and In long gone years was two m.-n were out aud the bases were under the jurisdiction of first a king full. Our hero was gathering bis IRREGULARITIES. A positive boon to ^ing at auother shop B- C. LAMB, Agent. S. ELMORE & CO, “If lie should take a third wife he and then an emperor But in tbe ad strength for tbe swat he was going to MIDDLE AGED and ELDERLY Lambs Dock, Tillamook, Ore. Agents, Astoria, Ore -ould buy the ring at still auother justmeut of froutler lines the state of give tbe ball. And the ball came. He knew It was PEOPLE and for WOMEN. I. W. W. BROWN, Agent, 'ore." the jeweler said. "That is one Vai dl Ventlno was In some way over Couch Street Dock, Portland, Oregon. onF the superstitious of the trade. A looked, and It promptly organized It­ bls us the ball started, and with a I HAVE HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION self Into a lilllputlan republic. It has mighty crack he lifted It into spate. 8. A. Davh, fi27 Bashington St., Connersville- may have the marrying habit Ind., is in bis Sulh year. He writes us: “I ha,« now about 2XMM) Inhabitants living In Dropping his bat. he sped for first, 1st«ly Minor«! much from my kidne, s and blad ao bad and require several wed alx villages. Neither Vai dl Ventlno I bad severe beckacbeeand my kidney action rings In his time, yet he never nor Klein Alp has auy taxes. There and ere the roar of applause burst out der was too frequent, causing me to los» much aleec ■ny two of them from the same are no officials or compulsory military a alight woman tn tbe grand stand at night, and iu my bladdor there was constant rose and called: pain. I took Foley Kidney Pills for some time, ' Hfiace. Jewelers do not expect tt. They services The only ludustry of Vai dl •nd am now free of all trouble and again ablets “Will, come back here and put that be up and around Foley Kidney Fills have ’Nt> • waa In the city to engage a new headed, snub nosed, squeaky voiced, i man. “1’11 kiss Ethel goodby." will give you full value marcs, Pharmacy aad Music. The Coll«* l(rl th. other day. Rhe visit»! an em conceited old attooier that runs the for every dollar spent September iid. Catalog free. “No. you won’t, either," came from lH. oyuient agency which makes a ape shebang.” and keep you dry in Address: BBOISTKAB, 0BBO0N A0 the woman, "That prwloua dog was COLLEGE, Corvallis, Oregon. )hfalty of finding places for country the wettest weather. Thereupon he wrote. “And now. our never kissed by a stranger In her lusemalds and waa much pleased dear and honored principal, we turn whole life!"—Yonkers Statesman. SUITS *322 Itb on. from th. country. to you." etc -Chicago Tribune. SLICKERS «322 "Why did you leav. your last placY' Sensible Course. POMMEL SUGiER •fiked the woman “Why do you Insist on that boy’s The Translation. •322 luh-'l didn't bar. no last place." an Toole, the great English comedian. studying mualcF* said the man with Ml HTfVWvfce w.irered th. girl, "because 1 ain't had wus once greatly tickled at Andine tn respect for art. 'You know very well CMAIOS rnt£ fall» last place to leave, and I'm .till « French provincial town a poater an- he can’t sing." AJ.T ower C o . B oston , u «. a . »1 orktng at It. being tor rnyaelf that Bouncing a translation of " Walker. “Yea." replied tbe patient father; “I T owep C a - apian Co. i »wto V. been working, and I'm sure I'm a London,” the farce which he himself know It. And 1 want him to learn •Itriwd servant, and I can recommend had made famous. Tbe adapter had enough about music to realize It for Wl”ywlf to you. ma'am."-Rxcbang. translated the title as 'Tsvndres qul «e himself."—Exchange. promene." or "London which goes out Meledramati*. for walks." H iving so thoroughly established and maintained his Anrth.r Viewpoint. ,-A drnniatlat waa eondemnlng toro I Clara—I overheard Mr Bimberly aay reputation as one ot the highest classed prize winning Stallions elodramaa that had had an uumerlt Fact er Fiction T to a friend the other evening that I of this coast, and the producer of colts that wins the blue ribbon« I auccraa among tbe le* cultivated "The trouble with these llterar» waa a pretty young lady. Maude- During the post 36 years on rem­ wtlou of tbe publlc club«.“ said a captious critic, "la that Well. you are pretty young: but. of among the very best and highest classed colts of the state, it is edy haa proven more prompt or •"The firat." aald thè dramatlat in hla they always degenerate Into meetings course, yoa are growing older each more effectual In It. eurn. of not necessarv to comment on quality. .itgTa ruma tic way. "waa all blood and for the exchange of goe-slp,"