TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT. SEPTEMBER 29. 1910
L i •
TRICK. •
TORCE OF GRAVITY,
A MODERN SCALPER.
NOg« to a Duel In How It-Wsuld Affeot Men's Weight on Tha Little Comedy That Was Plsvod
Between ths Acta.
th« Celestial Bodies.
Cato.
A little cuUK-dy beiweeu acts enliv
If tbe planet Mars I m - really inbab
L
*1 Ited tbe iMHiple who live there mu«t tie ened thing» at a Broadway I healer oue
an exceedlugly agile race. Tbe a»- night last week. A middle aged man
ring at mrf
erage weight of a mau is atsiut IW accompanied by bls wife sal directly
■re of “
■an. evldeotly a pounds, but the force of gravity <>o beblud a pretty young girl nisi her es
|-> retire with mu Nara la so tum-b less than on the cort. At tbe eud of tbe Ural act the
Srsoo addressed - earth that tbe 140 pound tuan would middle aged mau weut out for "tresli
weigh only ttfty-tbree pounds If be air." He came tsick bringing tlie siih -II
Mts-r to add
t lisi liislgnilk-ant were transported thither
With such of the fresh air and gayer spirit» witli
His wife gave him a slartled
h> stare ai you "
light weight, and still retaining the him
mt: i slum «-hai- tame strength, an Individual would glance, aud like a flasb her tuind went
,-anl "
be able to run with tbe »|«-ed of an up to bls vest. There dangling from
tlesi In flou
express train, go skipping over teu tbe top button waa a bum-b of bruwu.
curly puffs. There was a dviMinltk-al
Ip hi» «ani
foot walls and do various utb, r ex
I ns follows:
traordlnary things. Ou the moou a secoud as tbe wife held tbe puffs lu
her white gloved baud and looked at
t Falsing, studeut man would be even lighter.
But on the nun our 140 |M>midcr them. Now she was uot a JeaUuis
■ hanker "
would have bls Iroublen. Instead of wife—just a eoutuiou sense little wts
Kai lu » Berlin cafe Is-lug an airy Indi » lUUlii he would man. ready to meet au emergency.
Bats e look tils lie weigh tn the nelgblswhowJ of a toil She looked at tbe beads h I. xh ln-r
Tbe pretty girl's back hair looked a«
k excltetnvui had and thfee-quiirters
Be would prob
L<1 be had luid lime ably have the greatest difficulty In 1 If n piece had fallen out. Tlie wife
■ugbte Herr tirila raising bis band, for that member leaned over to the side away from Hie
girl's escort and whispered Tlie girl
■erlüg lest Ills tietier would weigh about 300 fsiunds
Kninethlng from his
According to scientific computation, slipped a band down and back, and
■gin to hie place of a man wbo on earth weighs 140 tbe wife nti-nllbllv laid the bunch of
■ to write letters to pounds would on tbe other celestial ' puffs which her htislmnd had «-arri>-d
away on his rest button In tbe owner's
■ng the customary bodies weigh as follows:
band. The latter kepi them emwealed
brings In « ;t»e he
The moon. 23 pounds: Mars. 53
Bo a "vindictive and pounds: Venus. 114 pounds; Mercury. gently and artfully reached up. plnm-ii
■nt “ It was ip 'it. 110 pounds: Neptune. 123 pouuds; them Into place, and escort, watching
■rd as usual to pre Uranus. 127 pounds; Saturn. 115 the rising curtain, wus none the wiser
■■runschfld ran his pounds: Jupiter. 371 pounds, and the —New York Times.
■ the balance sheet. sun. 3.871 ixiuuds—Chicago Tribune.
■ start.
HIS STUPID MISTAKE.
irks drawn for prl
A SAD STORY,
I d<M-s this menu?
Much to His Surprise It Wss Promptly
* a Joker
Rectified.
Intten. Herr tinnì- The Misfortune That Cams With a
A well known Umdoner was plan
Terribis Tumble.
■Haying at tbe cufe.
nlng an enirrtalnment on an elalsi
Fowling Is now very little practiced
la thousand marks,
rate scale to lie given to various friend«
In
tbe
Shetland
Islauds.
although
many
fthat xinoiinl < hi you
In tbe uelghlairlnsid of hl« emniirt
eggs
are
«cured
annnnlly
Many
■ras good enough to
aeaL Unfortunately bls nearcsi ueigh
I on his way
He tbrilllug stories of fowling adventure bor. a close relative. Is hlglilr iiiwon
mttlug cnnl In pnsif are told by the Shetlanders. A mau genial to himself and Ills Inlliuales.
who had undertaken to climb a certain and he racked bls brains to devise a
¡r knew whether lie steep cliff was neither very expert- scheme by which be might avoid the
It with vex.-itiou or ewed nor very brave. »It hough lie necessity of inviting tbe undesirable
J « Itou t tor joy. He boasted of being both Be pushed up cousin to be among his guests
Ml of a th. mwa nit wffrd. however. briskly without k»>k
“I bare It!" he auuouiiced to his wife
t «aine rime It wa* Ing la-hl nd until he hud got up about at breakfawt oo the ntornlug of the
»I
When he after
150 feet, when he stopped to breathe event. “I'll »end him some tickets for
[rhe linn gin wry »tu Tbe pause was fatal to bls self |a>sae«
tbe play tonight lu town. 1>f course
•»tonni »windier he f slon. and be called out in tones of ter he’ll lie delighted, as he seldom lias an
ive got off no cheap- ror. “Men. men. I am going—I am go opportunity of going to tbe theater "
ing.“ But be still held on for a little,
The tickets were accordingly aont.
I
and it was not till be bad shrieked and tbe host with an easy ««insolence
many times “I am going" that be did procetded to enjoy tbe comiutny of his
EWUtTTE.
fall headlong.
frleudx
But bls satisfaction was of
■ i*
Bls comrades, having thus been «bort duration
At tbe height of the
Moral Ensign at Half
warned, moved the boat out of tbe way festivities, much to bls surprise. In
laat.
h>n many mistakes so that tbe poor fellow came alieei walked the objectionable neightsir
“Sucb a stupid mistake you madeT
RklUeite nf the ting down into the deep water. Mighty
FlVIlllam McKinley was the plunge, but at length be rose be announced as be approHelied hl»
I tliousuuils of loyal to tbe aurfaee. when of course be was couslu. “A s K<M>n as I beard alsHlt
I Hugs at halt mast instantly caught bold of and dragged your party I knew that you must have
M»f bustu<-se alai let Into tbe tsial. After mauy gasps and seut me tbe tickets fortlie wroug Might,
a and by day until nim-b spluttering of sea water from his ao I got them cbauged for tomorrow
i They umlouMetlly mouth bls only remark was: "Eb. evening and came right over here as
r showing resjieel to men. this Is a sad story. I have lost soon as 1 could.“—London Taller.
ry
But they were my snufflsix."— "Sketches and Tales
What Napeleen Couldn't Do.
>r resiH>ct to the Hag. of Shetland.”
An incident counev-ted with Napoleon
government disilay
when be was In exile In Elba Is com
» dags nt halt mast
Ths Last Ditch.
■usci from the presi
When William, prince of Orange, memorated on tbe Island to this day
his burial. Tltegor- afterward William III. of England, by an liuK'riptlon affixed to the wall of
mis provide that oo
wan elected atadt bolder of the Uulted a peasant's bouse. A man named tiln-
resident lu odke Its Netherlands In 11172 and found blruself <-onl waa plowing when tbe fatuous
guyed at balf musi in the midst of war with Eugbind and exile came along one day and ex
pressed au Interest In hl» work Na
Fra nee he wns asked by tbe Imke of
poleon even took tlte [low handles and
■he 3ÓO.OOO minn ant
Bueklugbam whether be did uot see
attempted to guide It himself, but lhe
jbetr Uvea tinnii». tlü ruin tni|«-ndliig over bln country
oxen refused to oltey him. overturtn-d
ft Memorial dny. ea. ti
"Nnjr." be answered. "There In one
■ttatea dlaplaya Ila dur certain mean» by which I can be sure ’ tbe plow and »polled tbe furrow. The
inscription nma thus:
■l armv faiats. al a « Iona enough to see my country's ruin
I
“Napoleon the Great, passing by this
■el erles from aiiiirlae will die In tbe Inst ditch.“ And. reject
Beil lately lief ore u.atn Ing all terms of peace, be checked tbe place In MDCUCXIV. t«»>k In the
I by the. lai od ot held Invasion of France by ofiening nlitk-e» nelghlmring field a plow from tlie
bands of » peasant anti himself tried
kthmal »rillte of I wen
and flisidlng every tract of land, drove
■ml. Al the lami-nr them from Holland In 11174 am! ruade to plow, hut the oxen. rel>elll<m« to
those hand» which yet bad guided Ku
burial tribute ai noon
honorable terms with England and ? rope, headlong lied from the furiow."
Ini to tile top of the
Anally after varying effort brought the | —St. Loula Republic.
I» literv until aiiiiael.
war to a successful close by u treat;
the uatkmal enstirn I»
with France In 1078.
Ths Gusraot««.
ntijei-i to tie long In
Gobea Golds, tbe American million
ly itimi or numliet of
Taken at His Word.
alre. acconiiatnled by his daughter.
low exnlt<«l t licit rank,
The doctor was telling bow he came Miss Lotts, picked ont a Rembrandt at
fned. with the union
diet rea»
l'ite tins <ai to lone one of his beat paying a foreign dealer« and tbeh. before
planking dowu tbe cusb. said very
fort actually la-eieuetl patients Tbe man was a hypoction
e illxi.myvd lietweeu driac. who was always Imagining that sternly:
something terrible was about to hap
“Now. see here. »lr. do you gtisnintee
pen to him. and tbe doctor, who was tbl« Rembrandt?"
la to be displayed »I
a great jollier, was kept busy trylug
-Ye». Mr Golde." the dealer replied
lowered Io that |»«il-
to reason him out of his morbid cou
“A seven years' guarantee goes with
<f> of tbe stuff
II h>
dltlon
the caovas “
in I la-fore ft la tinnii;
••(jb. very well.” said Gotisa. ntolll
"You have worried yourself until
kgt<ai I‘nal
Bed. and be twak out bls check l»«»k
you are bordering on ■ nervous col
and fountain pen.—Washington Mar.
lapse." said the doctor to him one day
«m It Baek.
iy» i—eti « lot of civ* "You abouldu't think about your symp
totua all tbe time, but just attend to
A Bigger Bid.
•rk an women * «•«■till
your affairs as If there was nothing
A Llneotn»blre parish once po»»»««rd
«Miai
Hui American
the matter with you.“
a clergyman wbo was rxs mtn h sppee
rtt. and it the; have
“All right, doctor." replied the pa
elated
One day he remarked I» hl«
ml rite, have river
tleut "I'll do as you nay. You needn't church warden: "Tou i»-ople d>m t
wnan called on an come to aee me any more."—New York «erm to approda'» me. fio you know
that oo leaving my last «títere of work
Time»
»» In Belgravia
the profile »bowed their appreristion
row were Otw That'«
so mach that they gave me a rest
le Englishwoman said
stiver slaverT*
ear. BtMitent English
•That I» not hing.” waa the rbarvh
"If tba' w<»i>d «mit
late warden'« rrpty.
thathi I wa«
go away from this parish wed give
•»I -l t—<t
■My
an. thee a gold uaT-l-uodon Chrwnirta.
atleta keo y«u
r«w
late
H»e Jswats.
Mrs Snbbole tt-> weigh Iso- Wilde
and Bobbie »rent home front at h>»d
yot. and here It la » • clock
I »Id vol
see aaytbiug of my pry. Usi« Jewel» »•
you mate along. Mr. Kwadsre? Net
dore— Tour preclou» jewel« »re In
•twk. madam. I jam aaw ihm« «wlt»
Aing la the river-Boato» Tfaaw-ript
Tichlm»»
“How many rilm have yoaî' e^>d
the teacher
“I don » kaow. naan giggled Hal
He. -fm s» awfully fPHUh. I rtsod
never rvoat eu» “— I Ifff dw t oH'».
N» T»n»w1»t.»n.
-Jamen, raa I mH f«m whh the key
M the wtee ryMat K
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