TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT. SEPTEMBER 29. 1910 L i • TRICK. • TORCE OF GRAVITY, A MODERN SCALPER. NOg« to a Duel In How It-Wsuld Affeot Men's Weight on Tha Little Comedy That Was Plsvod Between ths Acta. th« Celestial Bodies. Cato. A little cuUK-dy beiweeu acts enliv If tbe planet Mars I m - really inbab L *1 Ited tbe iMHiple who live there mu«t tie ened thing» at a Broadway I healer oue an exceedlugly agile race. Tbe a»- night last week. A middle aged man ring at mrf erage weight of a mau is atsiut IW accompanied by bls wife sal directly ■re of “ ■an. evldeotly a pounds, but the force of gravity <>o beblud a pretty young girl nisi her es |-> retire with mu Nara la so tum-b less than on the cort. At tbe eud of tbe Ural act the Srsoo addressed - earth that tbe 140 pound tuan would middle aged mau weut out for "tresli weigh only ttfty-tbree pounds If be air." He came tsick bringing tlie siih -II Mts-r to add t lisi liislgnilk-ant were transported thither With such of the fresh air and gayer spirit» witli His wife gave him a slartled h> stare ai you " light weight, and still retaining the him mt: i slum «-hai- tame strength, an Individual would glance, aud like a flasb her tuind went ,-anl " be able to run with tbe »|«-ed of an up to bls vest. There dangling from tlesi In flou express train, go skipping over teu tbe top button waa a bum-b of bruwu. curly puffs. There was a dviMinltk-al Ip hi» «ani foot walls and do various utb, r ex I ns follows: traordlnary things. Ou the moou a secoud as tbe wife held tbe puffs lu her white gloved baud and looked at t Falsing, studeut man would be even lighter. But on the nun our 140 |M>midcr them. Now she was uot a JeaUuis ■ hanker " would have bls Iroublen. Instead of wife—just a eoutuiou sense little wts Kai lu » Berlin cafe Is-lug an airy Indi » lUUlii he would man. ready to meet au emergency. Bats e look tils lie weigh tn the nelgblswhowJ of a toil She looked at tbe beads h I. xh ln-r Tbe pretty girl's back hair looked a« k excltetnvui had and thfee-quiirters Be would prob L<1 be had luid lime ably have the greatest difficulty In 1 If n piece had fallen out. Tlie wife ■ugbte Herr tirila raising bis band, for that member leaned over to the side away from Hie girl's escort and whispered Tlie girl ■erlüg lest Ills tietier would weigh about 300 fsiunds Kninethlng from his According to scientific computation, slipped a band down and back, and ■gin to hie place of a man wbo on earth weighs 140 tbe wife nti-nllbllv laid the bunch of ■ to write letters to pounds would on tbe other celestial ' puffs which her htislmnd had «-arri>-d away on his rest button In tbe owner's ■ng the customary bodies weigh as follows: band. The latter kepi them emwealed brings In « ;t»e he The moon. 23 pounds: Mars. 53 Bo a "vindictive and pounds: Venus. 114 pounds; Mercury. gently and artfully reached up. plnm-ii ■nt “ It was ip 'it. 110 pounds: Neptune. 123 pouuds; them Into place, and escort, watching ■rd as usual to pre Uranus. 127 pounds; Saturn. 115 the rising curtain, wus none the wiser ■■runschfld ran his pounds: Jupiter. 371 pounds, and the —New York Times. ■ the balance sheet. sun. 3.871 ixiuuds—Chicago Tribune. ■ start. HIS STUPID MISTAKE. irks drawn for prl A SAD STORY, I d<M-s this menu? Much to His Surprise It Wss Promptly * a Joker Rectified. Intten. Herr tinnì- The Misfortune That Cams With a A well known Umdoner was plan Terribis Tumble. ■Haying at tbe cufe. nlng an enirrtalnment on an elalsi Fowling Is now very little practiced la thousand marks, rate scale to lie given to various friend« In tbe Shetland Islauds. although many fthat xinoiinl < hi you In tbe uelghlairlnsid of hl« emniirt eggs are «cured annnnlly Many ■ras good enough to aeaL Unfortunately bls nearcsi ueigh I on his way He tbrilllug stories of fowling adventure bor. a close relative. Is hlglilr iiiwon mttlug cnnl In pnsif are told by the Shetlanders. A mau genial to himself and Ills Inlliuales. who had undertaken to climb a certain and he racked bls brains to devise a ¡r knew whether lie steep cliff was neither very expert- scheme by which be might avoid the It with vex.-itiou or ewed nor very brave. »It hough lie necessity of inviting tbe undesirable J « Itou t tor joy. He boasted of being both Be pushed up cousin to be among his guests Ml of a th. mwa nit wffrd. however. briskly without k»>k “I bare It!" he auuouiiced to his wife t «aine rime It wa* Ing la-hl nd until he hud got up about at breakfawt oo the ntornlug of the »I When he after 150 feet, when he stopped to breathe event. “I'll »end him some tickets for [rhe linn gin wry »tu Tbe pause was fatal to bls self |a>sae« tbe play tonight lu town. 1>f course •»tonni »windier he f slon. and be called out in tones of ter he’ll lie delighted, as he seldom lias an ive got off no cheap- ror. “Men. men. I am going—I am go opportunity of going to tbe theater " ing.“ But be still held on for a little, The tickets were accordingly aont. I and it was not till be bad shrieked and tbe host with an easy ««insolence many times “I am going" that be did procetded to enjoy tbe comiutny of his EWUtTTE. fall headlong. frleudx But bls satisfaction was of ■ i* Bls comrades, having thus been «bort duration At tbe height of the Moral Ensign at Half warned, moved the boat out of tbe way festivities, much to bls surprise. In laat. h>n many mistakes so that tbe poor fellow came alieei walked the objectionable neightsir “Sucb a stupid mistake you madeT RklUeite nf the ting down into the deep water. Mighty FlVIlllam McKinley was the plunge, but at length be rose be announced as be approHelied hl» I tliousuuils of loyal to tbe aurfaee. when of course be was couslu. “A s K<M>n as I beard alsHlt I Hugs at halt mast instantly caught bold of and dragged your party I knew that you must have M»f bustu<-se alai let Into tbe tsial. After mauy gasps and seut me tbe tickets fortlie wroug Might, a and by day until nim-b spluttering of sea water from his ao I got them cbauged for tomorrow i They umlouMetlly mouth bls only remark was: "Eb. evening and came right over here as r showing resjieel to men. this Is a sad story. I have lost soon as 1 could.“—London Taller. ry But they were my snufflsix."— "Sketches and Tales What Napeleen Couldn't Do. >r resiH>ct to the Hag. of Shetland.” An incident counev-ted with Napoleon government disilay when be was In exile In Elba Is com » dags nt halt mast Ths Last Ditch. ■usci from the presi When William, prince of Orange, memorated on tbe Island to this day his burial. Tltegor- afterward William III. of England, by an liuK'riptlon affixed to the wall of mis provide that oo wan elected atadt bolder of the Uulted a peasant's bouse. A man named tiln- resident lu odke Its Netherlands In 11172 and found blruself <-onl waa plowing when tbe fatuous guyed at balf musi in the midst of war with Eugbind and exile came along one day and ex pressed au Interest In hl» work Na Fra nee he wns asked by tbe Imke of poleon even took tlte [low handles and ■he 3ÓO.OOO minn ant Bueklugbam whether be did uot see attempted to guide It himself, but lhe jbetr Uvea tinnii». tlü ruin tni|«-ndliig over bln country oxen refused to oltey him. overturtn-d ft Memorial dny. ea. ti "Nnjr." be answered. "There In one ■ttatea dlaplaya Ila dur certain mean» by which I can be sure ’ tbe plow and »polled tbe furrow. The inscription nma thus: ■l armv faiats. al a « Iona enough to see my country's ruin I “Napoleon the Great, passing by this ■el erles from aiiiirlae will die In tbe Inst ditch.“ And. reject Beil lately lief ore u.atn Ing all terms of peace, be checked tbe place In MDCUCXIV. t«»>k In the I by the. lai od ot held Invasion of France by ofiening nlitk-e» nelghlmring field a plow from tlie bands of » peasant anti himself tried kthmal »rillte of I wen and flisidlng every tract of land, drove ■ml. Al the lami-nr them from Holland In 11174 am! ruade to plow, hut the oxen. rel>elll<m« to those hand» which yet bad guided Ku burial tribute ai noon honorable terms with England and ? rope, headlong lied from the furiow." Ini to tile top of the Anally after varying effort brought the | —St. Loula Republic. I» literv until aiiiiael. war to a successful close by u treat; the uatkmal enstirn I» with France In 1078. Ths Gusraot««. ntijei-i to tie long In Gobea Golds, tbe American million ly itimi or numliet of Taken at His Word. alre. acconiiatnled by his daughter. low exnlt<«l t licit rank, The doctor was telling bow he came Miss Lotts, picked ont a Rembrandt at fned. with the union diet rea» l'ite tins <ai to lone one of his beat paying a foreign dealer« and tbeh. before planking dowu tbe cusb. said very fort actually la-eieuetl patients Tbe man was a hypoction e illxi.myvd lietweeu driac. who was always Imagining that sternly: something terrible was about to hap “Now. see here. »lr. do you gtisnintee pen to him. and tbe doctor, who was tbl« Rembrandt?" la to be displayed »I a great jollier, was kept busy trylug -Ye». Mr Golde." the dealer replied lowered Io that |»«il- to reason him out of his morbid cou “A seven years' guarantee goes with <f> of tbe stuff II h> dltlon the caovas “ in I la-fore ft la tinnii; ••(jb. very well.” said Gotisa. ntolll "You have worried yourself until kgt<ai I‘nal Bed. and be twak out bls check l»«»k you are bordering on ■ nervous col and fountain pen.—Washington Mar. lapse." said the doctor to him one day «m It Baek. iy» i—eti « lot of civ* "You abouldu't think about your symp totua all tbe time, but just attend to A Bigger Bid. •rk an women * «•«■till your affairs as If there was nothing A Llneotn»blre parish once po»»»««rd «Miai Hui American the matter with you.“ a clergyman wbo was rxs mtn h sppee rtt. and it the; have “All right, doctor." replied the pa elated One day he remarked I» hl« ml rite, have river tleut "I'll do as you nay. You needn't church warden: "Tou i»-ople d>m t wnan called on an come to aee me any more."—New York «erm to approda'» me. fio you know that oo leaving my last «títere of work Time» »» In Belgravia the profile »bowed their appreristion row were Otw That'« so mach that they gave me a rest le Englishwoman said stiver slaverT* ear. BtMitent English •That I» not hing.” waa the rbarvh "If tba' w<»i>d «mit late warden'« rrpty. thathi I wa« go away from this parish wed give •»I -l t—<t ■My an. thee a gold uaT-l-uodon Chrwnirta. atleta keo y«u r«w late H»e Jswats. Mrs Snbbole tt-> weigh Iso- Wilde and Bobbie »rent home front at h>»d yot. and here It la » • clock I »Id vol see aaytbiug of my pry. Usi« Jewel» »• you mate along. Mr. Kwadsre? Net dore— Tour preclou» jewel« »re In •twk. madam. I jam aaw ihm« «wlt» Aing la the river-Boato» Tfaaw-ript Tichlm»» “How many rilm have yoaî' e^>d the teacher “I don » kaow. naan giggled Hal He. -fm s» awfully fPHUh. I rtsod never rvoat eu» “— I Ifff dw t oH'». N» T»n»w1»t.»n. -Jamen, raa I mH f«m whh the key M the wtee ryMat K The New Buller MriSy • - Certalwty. air? I have area all the mbela.-lJfa M W tbyaeif M atiatn taw h newt. I» tk* MM L. thaw* KILN DRY FLOORING, CEILING, RUSTIC AND FINISHED LUMBER. ALL KINDS OF MOULDINGS, We Make the Best CHEESE BOXES for Tillamook County’s Most Famous Cheese. € Tlie He^t Kquipped Snw Mill in the County. New Machinery, lixperienee« 1 Workmen and ,’i ’t», HEADQUARTERS FOR DAIRYMEN’ AND S SUPPLIES STEEL STOVES & RANCES We carry a Lar^e Stock of Tinware Hardware, and China Oils, Paint, Varnish, Doors. Window Sashes, Agents for the Great Western Saw ALEX McNAIR CO Reliable Merchants in Tillamook County. The Most MDNH PILLS for backache, rheumatism, kidney or bladder trouble, and urinary irieRularitieo. Foley's Kidney Pills purify the blood, restore lost vitality and vigor. Refuse substitutes. Sold by Chas. I. Clough. Did Von Ever Try flAKKLH’N NEW FEED AND LIVERY BARN, If not, give him a call. Everything first-class. SLICKERS Second wear well and they keep dry while you wearing them ■>■300 block South of P O. H arris . Prop. rvt WYWMUtt GUMMTtTP WVDtMOOr '> CMMO6 ma 1 A J Tovzr » CO. Bosrotc US ’ a . lOWTR C/JIAMAM CO uMtna Tr>at©aran C am Pills What They Will I>o for You They will cure your backache, etrengthen your kidney», cor. rect urinary irregularitiee, build up the worn out tiaauea, and eliminate the exceaa uric acid that causes rheumatism. Pre. vent Bright's Disease and Dia te a tee, and reatore health and euengtb. Refuse eubstitutee. Sold by Cha«. I. Clough. . •ari.U.a a<wK «• w*era a., ■ ftRter All »-wfc fafl* g^raaeC^ kill ™« couch r» CURE TH« LUNGS I WITH The P A. Starck Piano Co II»» r»tul»ll»tw«f n f^rmnnen Affenrv in TII.L«4M<»<»K COUNTY Fot ttieir 25 ye»r guar»nl<e, For tiwtr |w»tt<M>. pl» anti warranted to wttiiHtaml any ritmate. LO Bri F. MARONIC ComiHidUr Heil Metili l'ut»«, No. 57. meet« on ìMilttr- Three String», 7'» Ot tave». Price, ■mt <»t Piano on exhibition. day of each rnonth in MISS FIORKKi F. KVF..N* Affetti. I.O.O F Hall, al 7 :« pm. PainlcMM lteeuilsts s«aam. rwtiMa »wn • a , n un a. »«■««,« »«■ t New Discovery F» ca!«” MIBMA pWkOaTAaeLWkBTBBUBU». OUABAKTKBD BATIBFAX7TOMT OM MOWBT MWPMI If**- Wise Dental Co I FaAxa N bvbmamcc . H W.M. F. N i, g mi ». W Sec. I Garrelt’a Fltone.