TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, SEPTEMBER 22. 1910.
A ROMANCE IN SIGHT.
Started by
Not until hoHrdlnw I imump »
cpm *«»
h» »*i
1 m | will all ihfir roinitu« t* In» wrin»*n
Thaokeray’» 8atlra.
Thackeray created quite erroneous
Impressions of himself by often indulg
ing In irony I d the preueuce of people
who were incapable of understanding
IL Ono curious Instance »bleb be gave
was this: Thackeray hud been dinlug
at the Garrick and was talking In the
smoking room after dinner with vari
ous club acquaintances. One of them
happening to have left his cigar case
at home. Thackeray, though dlsllkiug
the man. who was a notorious tuft
hunter, good aaturedly offered him one
of bls cigars. The man accepted the
cigar, but. not hurting it to bis liking,
bad the bad taste to suy to Thackeray.
•‘I say. Thackeray, you won’t mind my
saying 1 don’t think much of this
cigar?” Thackeray, no doubt irritated
at the man’s ungraciousness and bear
Ing In ml ad his tuft hunting predilec
tions. quietly responded. "You ought
to. my good fellow, for it was given
me by a lord.” Instead, however, of
detecting the Irony, the dolt Immedl
ately attributed the remark to snob
bishuess ou Thackeray’s part and to
the end of his days went about declar
ing thut •’Thackeray bad boasted that
be had been given a cigar by a lord "
Shabby r«»iUMin ♦**<.
of rliem mh *
like rtirtt of file voilllg wofn.'ili who |f<»’
xo fired of being I’Kihd ••poor fill »if*
be<’HU>*e M|»e received no III vltiiHoUs
mid tind I«» enl nil her tueuH Hf tin
tMiHi'dliig lioiiMe iHble flint «lie took fo
• jiftNK nloue oiiie III Hwhlle nt n rheup
reMiMiininf mid then braz«*uly httifc
tilNOif fhe frh ndri who bad invited
her fo dinner.
There was a young man In that
hoilMe who never went anvwhere el
f h»T The first night the girl stayed out
life* desolation nearly over|»>wercd
"Even that |ssir little white
him
fiieed soul tía« mudi* ft” ids who want
“Lotaaly wniita me
her.*' he said
I’m no good on earth.”
Then on rare oerHHlun« hl« phi<e at
the 'able wa« vm-ant. “New friends?”
asked file landlady.
••Ye«.” lied the young man
One night fhe man and the girl met
In a fwentv five rent resfaurani They
blushed, ibe.v fenced: they ttnally eon
frsHrd
Maternal Instinct.
•Were a pair of frauds." said tbc
“Children that yell like that ought
girl “It’s swftil to think that looight
when «•• go lio-’ie w- will have to either to la* gagged or kept al home."
«•voiir dial we have been dining with remarked the Irascible gentleuiuu with
the white beard to the bus conductor
friend« "
“And faces like the oue wot you’re
•Well." said the voting mun, "ain’t
«carin' people with.” chipped In the
New York Press.
mother of the noi«y Infaut. “ougbter
be made luto door knockers or sent ter
the chamber o’ ’errors.”
The geutlemau with the patriarchal
Lucky For the Lidi» Man He W«i Not face fungus took a brick red complex
Her Husband.
ion. "I know It’s u wk ward at times”—
The Indy In the offside corner of the he commenced.
tramcar possessisl a truculent air and
"It's more’ll awkward: It’s nothin'
a discolored eye
short o’ ’orrlble." snapped the lady, as
"I'liimy thing any one can’t take a
she once more glanced at the sorry
penny ride without everybody glarin’
elderly man's set of features.
nt ’em.” she remarked, fixing a Htnall
Wheu the rest of the passeuger« tit
gentleman wearing gray whiskers atxl
tered audibly the old geutlemau came
a son io «lint rusty top hut with her
to the conclusion that It behooved him
normal optie.
to speak to the point.
The small gentleman suddenly be
"I mean the child”— he tried once
viiine Interested In a soup advertise
more.
ment.
"And you didu't menu It uo good."
"If any one cau't 'nve a black eve
returned the lady, "else you wouldn't
without Tom. Pick and Harry askin’
questions things are entilin' to a pretty a looked at it.”—Loudon Ideas.
CHE WAS AGGRESSIVE.
pass.” continued the lady.
The Expense of a Wife.
Rlleuee. allied with soap advertise
A wife la a decided addition to the
ment study, thoifgh eonumitly discreet,
demands u|ain oue'a purse.
In that
was Ineffective.,
“Yeti I’m «-talkin’ to."
The Indy sense, however sensible and managing
But
prodded the small gentleman's knee she tuny be. she Is expensive
with her umbrella. "Ilin setlln’ there : everything worth having has Its price
tills last ten minutes, you 'ave. »un of one sort or another, and there are
tierin' If m.v 'uslian' gives It to me. it some things which cost much without
It'll ease ver mind, 'e did
Is there which life Is hardly worth living.
Sahl Thiers: "Must men contemplate
anything else?”
"Madam." the small gentleman com making some self denial wheu they
marry
They think they will give up
menced "laid I been your husband” —
"I should 's' got off nt th' cemetery ! such and such expensive pleasure«.
with it wreath Instead o’ goln ter the Litter ou. When they discover that they
’orsepltnl with a visitor’s ticket." snap I cannot do so. aud at the same time
pct I the lady, "mid the wreath wouldn't | they luck the uicaus to ludulge. they
'll' lieeu expensive either” — l.oudon i cumpliiln that It la the extravagante
Ideas
of their wives which causo» the lucon-
| veuleiice."
A Weary Celebrity.
Which wise Haying Is applicable to
When Mrs linger A. Pryor was n men In other countries la-sldea that of
young woman living In (Tin riot teville. Frauee.—New York Amerlcau.
Vu. X tailing authors seldom reached
tin* la-autlful unK.W-lty town. "Tltnck
R»it»rat»d.
clay. Dickens aud Miss Mnrtlueau
Edmund Kean waa playing In "Rich
passed us by." says Mrs I’ryor In her ard ill.." and the part of Calesby had
laaik entitled "My Pay Reminiscent e* to la- taken by n low comedian, who
of ii Long Life" Rut Frederika Breui snuuteriM on to the stage at the wrong
er eondesi eiidi'd Io s|H*nd a night wirb moment and uttered the famous
her eonqaitrlot. Baron Scheie de Tore Words. "My lord, the Puke of Ritck-
of the university faculty, ou Iler way Ingliam Is tnkeu.” In the wrong place.
to the south.
Edmund clinched his Hate In rage,
St hale de Vere Invltisl a choice com but otherwise took no notice of the re
pany to spend the one evening Miss mark.
Bremer granted him. Her works were
I.ater the contedlau re|teat<*d the
extremely |H>pular with the unverslty words In the right place, aud wheu
circle, and every one was ou tiptoe of the king expressed surprise at the
pleased anticipation
uews Catesby folded his arm«, walked
While the waiting company eagerly boldly down the stage and remarked
e\|HH't<«i her the door o|ieued not for to the great «ctor In loud tone«:
.Mis, llremor. but for her companion,
”1 told you eo before. Mr. Kean, but
who anuounerd:
you wouldn't believe ine.”
"Miss Bremer, she beg excuse. Kite
ver" tired and must sleep. If she come
Nonroyal Headgear.
she gape lu your noses."
One of the attaches of the American
Funerals In England.
At the lime of Quevu Victoria's fu
neral it writer lu the Undertakers'
Journal complained that, while roynl
burals were still conducted In an Im
pressive manner, a sad lack of cere
monial distinguished the funerals of
the nobility.
"Item after Item lias
been aliaiidoued. Men after Men has
l»*eti drop|H-d each meaning n dlsilu t
loss to our business. Au undertaker
In the west end. referring to the re
cent death of a noble lord, cotihdisl tu
tue: 'Forty years ago I buried a mem-
lier of Hint family, «nd the funeral bill
cauie to (I.J.'Ai igti.2.’an Ten
later I burled auotber. wheu It
t<> Ju»t w»r <7w itXAtih
yeurs ago I burled a third. at
iXW tgl >»■><. imt the bill tor
one
tlltl nut reach »;<’• tgllim.*"
Origin ot a Famous Saying.
einliasay at lamdon tells a story where
in Michael Joseph Harry, the poet. who
was apiatlmed a police magistrate In
Publlu. waa th» principal figure. There
was brought before htiu an Irish
Amerlcau charged with suspicious cou-
duet The officer making the arrest
■fated, among other ibluga. that the
culprit waa wearing a "Republican
hat"
"Hoes your honor kuow what that
meanair was the Inquiry put to the
court by the
"It may tie," suggested Barry, “that
It nieamt a hat without a crown.*—
Harper» Magaxlue.
Saving Hi» Fcalings.
The Office Bov (to tienHsrent lady
artist who calls six times a week*—The
editor's still engaged The lutdy Arti»!
—Tell bint it doesu’l matter
I doti t
waut to marry bltu The
________
_ _ Hoy-
____
Office
1 aven't the ’art to tell Im that, mlns
Ilea ad several disappointments to
day *1 ry sad look tn again uext year
—lxwdou Sketch
i
Euclid who 1« sometimes called th»
father of miithematlen. taught UH»
subject In the famous a boil at Alex-
iimlrla
Being askial one day by the
Ling of Egypt il'iiiivniy Soten whether
Optimiatio.
lie <-ouM not teach him the is leno In
"I was pinched for being too opti
a shorter way. Ku* IM answered in
mistic"
• onia ili.ii lune lieen memorable ever
"A w. com« off.”
«Us e. “Eire, there Is uo royal road to
“Fact. I thought the Mock I wan
teaming " Xot many >a-ni|s> of eouver
"udon have lived, as thia reply li.is, lor selling wouM be worth notnvtblng
day
Washington llrraid
2,'JIW tior*
Totuniy-IXm wuai is luck’
Tommy'» Pop l.u-k. my »<>n I« what
*s*iu**H io » man who has the op|H>r
tunlty of Imyhig *oiH*dilng for s im-r.
•otlg. l>m Mm vau t »lug.-l’hlladvl
I*t>la lias oral
H Cov«r« tb« Lang.
. Wo »ball nvver
ktnrrlcan ih irei
it can't be writtea
"Why notF
W« bav* to« many dialect*.
Write it in twseball vernacular
Washington IlvmM
In South Amort«*.
Foreign Correspondent-And who ar«
two men under the tree? Geo-
»r«i Paprika-Oh. that’* the
battalioo at th« royal ruiok
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