TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT. FEBRUARY 24
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tn English Official Who Outwit
ted a French Admiral.
ABSOLUTE ZERO
CURIOUS EPITAPHS.
Th« Frrasing Peint of H.llum Gas la
Ju«t Above It«
Although faiuilbtr to M'iwitM*. It !■
no< ir^nerMll.v known that I be true
□•uctas Jsr-
Brevity on a Tombaton
raid's Suaaootion.
Among the 1AU0 epitaphs collected
Fiutnphla
by Ernest 11 Suullng tn
are many quaint and curious sped-
metis Grimaldi off the msge whs said
to Is- a sufferer from inebim hotla. It
will l>e rememls-red that, going to a
physician on one <M-vaslvn. be descrilv
ed bls case, when the worthy d<«-tor
briskly told him lo "slmke oil the feel
ing. Go and see Grimaldi, aud if he
does not cure you your case Is liidwd
hopeless."
’Ala«.’* stud tbe |MM>r Muf
ferer. "I hiii Grimaldi." ti in epitaph
reads "Here Am 1."
A prize of 1100 lx said to hit ve
offered by one Tlior|ie. who wiih do-
sirous of Is-itig |>er|>etuiited but briefly
on hl» tombstone.
One coni|»-tlti<r
sent In "Here Lies Thorpe'» Corpse"
This *wn» certainly brief enough, but
flintlly It was cut to "Thorpe's Corpse "
Mauy of our renders know the
Houglus Jerrold »nd Clmrles Knight
story They were dining together on
one <s-c>isioti when the conversation
turned tt|H>n epitaphs. Knight half In
Jest suggested that Jerrold should
write his (Knlght’si epitaph. Tbe sub
Jeet drop|s-d at the time; but. walking
home together III the evening, they
viime to » s|s>t w here each had to Bike
a sepnrnte road
Jerrold, extending
his hand to bls friend, remarked. "I’ve
thought of a capital epitaph for you."
“Whilt Is It?" said his friend, much In
terested.
"Oh. very brief and very
simple. "Good Night!’’’
Thor« «re many curious epitaphs on
wives.
Here's one from inversion.
Lancashire:
Here Ilea my wlf«.
Here Iles ah«.
Halleluiah!
Hallelujral
An Inscription placed over the grave
of a mlHslotiary who was accidentally
shot In India read tbus:
Here Ilea the Rev A. H..
For many years missionary In B district
He was accidentally shot by his native
servant.
“Well don«, thou good ana faithful earv-
ant.”
At Chelmsford, Essex, on a atone to
tbe memory of "Mary Blewitt of the
Swan" It Is stilted that site "was the
wife of ultie husbands successively, but
tbe uluth outlived ber." It Is added.
"Tbe Text to Her Funeral Sertuuu
Was. ’Iaist of All. tbe YVotnao Died
Also.* "—Westminster Gazette.
zero of I whi ha« l«*vn dFivrmliied. By
tljix «bHoiutf zero 1« tnuani a tem|M*r-
ature wbkb run not get any «older,
HOW PERIM ISLAND WAS WOIJ which tnenn« lbill U«> beat wbalever
•ztMta or van eiixt at that |>oint 1 bit
fxnnt 1« only atiout 4f4> degree« tietow
Th. Int.r..ting Story Th.t I. Told by tbe zero ot our oninnirv r Htirenlieit
a Whit. Hous« on th. Fora.hor. of Iheruioinetera or 273 degree« Delo* (bo
th. Arabian Coart at th. Southern zero rentigrudo
To reHlixe wtuit it
Entr.no. to th. Red Sea.
signlOee h tew word* iniixi be placed
On the foreshore of the Arabian here defining hen I itxelt.
Hem 1« vnuMeii nt in ply by the thou
coast In the strait of Babel-Mandeb,
at the southern entrance to the lte<l Ktilida of little molecule« in li ny tally
sea, stand» a large white bouse eon
<»r thing vibrating very taxi i and Ihn»
earning which the travelers to the far «ending out wave« into t he et Her.
east may hear a curious story, in the When tbene WtlVee ntrike any mailer
middle of the ulneteeutli century, they vaiise that matter to become hot.
when M. de iA-sseps after many diffi an we auy.
Now, tbe taxler llieee
culties bad aucceasfully floated the inoleriileH vlbrnie the more heat im
Sues Canal company, the governor of given oui mid the hotter In the laaly
the British port of Aden, about 100 Itself. 1 lie «lower Hie umleruieM I lie
miles distant, was surprised one morn colder the body
So. If >i (‘«»ndilion
ing by the visit of a French squiidrou could be rescued where the molecule*
of very unusual size for that part of <lld not vibrate ut all wliy. there <*oui<l
the orient, which, having encountered lie uo heat, mill I herelore tile iMMiy
a terrific storm off Sokotra. laid put would tie nbsomt el.v <•«•• l«l
I Ills con-
In for repair».
ditlon ot Hllittri is ren<*hed 111 the
In the mind of the governor curiosity illHive mem toped numi»er ot degree*
was at once aroused ns to the destina I h -I ow <>ur onllOHt V »M’HleM II IM netti-
tion of so large a command, n curiosity less to say. however. Hutt tills Hl>mr
which Increased as he found It luipos
lute zero of hem line never lieeti Ht-
slble to extract any further Informa tallied ou this earth, the v-Ksvrat ever
tion from the Frer-'-'i admiral or bls reached by ma
mini
u tielug one degree
officer» Iwond the statement that above It Thia Li 272 below zero centi-
they were U|sm an ordinary cruise, uti grade and la the treezing |»mif or
explanation which the former was not helium gm. which a German professor
the leust Inclined to believe.
l-lnlms to tin ve frozen at tlial tempera
Flrtu lit the belief, therefore, that ture
some political move of great Impor
From this theory ot tient a |s«-ulinr
tance was afloat, if not afoot, the gov view Is obtained ot our bodies utitl
ernor. in order first of all to gain time, articles ot matter
We would hud. it
gave orders to go very tortoise-llke on we mill it mtcroKofie to see small
the repairs anil then set to work to enough, that every lilt of mutter st
take the Frenchnn-u off their guard by any temperature that we can m>w get
giving a succession of such entertain Is a seething miiMH ot moving mute
ments us both bls slender menus and rules and vibrating particles
One
the awful bnrreunesa of tlio place proof ot till» is when a menu expsnils
would nfford.
on becoming warmer. It we weigh It
But. though at the end of two weeks we And that a not tsslv weighs no
the French and British officers had got more than the same Issly cold, yet It
upon the best of terms, the Immediate gets larger, both longer and broader.
destination of the French squadron To do tills It must lie composed of
remulm-d as much of a mystery to moving iHirllcles Hint on lieeoming ex
the governor of Aden as before, and cited grt fnrttier apiirt. Another proof
in spite of all pooslbl, delay the re Is t tin I lh|Ul<ls anil gases lune Is-eii
pairs were nearly completed.
forced through every solid thill exists
Now. It happened that the wife ot slmiMt.
rims witter hits been toned
the governor poasesaed an Irish maid, through lend, sulphur dioxide thnmgn
A VERY QUEER BIRD.
who bad been receiving attentions Irmi. etc
The computed «Ize ot these
from one of the French petty officers— iiioleeniee is rather Interesting. It is
attentions which the girl did not re Claimed that If a drop of witter re|v Th. On« Young Mark Twain Sprung
Upon the Sciontiata.
gard seriously. It occurred to the gov resented the earth tile number ot mote
Murk Twain's fattier was an ornithol
ernor that by such means something cities In the drop would tie alsntt etpiHl
lie bad several friends who
might be learned of his unexpected to the nunilier of griiina of siind in ogist.
were also eutbushists on tile subject or
visitor’s plans, and a private conver tbe earth.—Exchange.
birds. Whenever any one of them dis
sation between the governor’s wife
covered a raru uvla It wus tbe custom
and her maid resulted In auother be
Changing H«r Mind.
tween the latter and her French ad
By an unwritten law It Is held to be to have a consultation. Mark bad been
mirer, by which It was discovered the privilege of woman to change her a witness of several of these bird lb
that 1’erltn Island was the objective mind, a llceuse of wtilt h site rarely quests aud had noted tile delight the
point
fulls to avail berseli.
The German old rneu took iu dlscusalug a new
At this Information the governor proverb has It that "women are varia found 8|>ecluien. Oue day It occurred
opened hie eyes wide Indeed, for. If ble as April weather" According to to bhn to provide tbe Hannibal orni
the Hues canal were cut through. I*e- an old EngllHh adage. "A woman's thologists with a real circus In the
rim. as commanding the southern en mimi the whiter winds change oft." form of a bird. He killed a crow and
trance to the lied seu. lu the middle in Kpalti It Is much the same: “Wo- also n barnyard rooster. Plm-kltig out
of the strait of Bnb-el-Mandeb, would meu. wlud aud fortune main change, tbe tall feathers of both tbe crow and
be a place of great strategic itupor- aud she can laugh ami cry Isitli tn a tbe rooster, he substituted tbe rooster’s
tn nee. over which, without doubt it wind " The old Mtln | hh -1 Catullus tall feathers for those ot tbe crow, pro
was the Intention of the French ad wiim of opinion tlnit “what a woman ducing a unique effect B’beu be had
miral to hoist the tricolor.
•ay« to her anient lover ought to Is tbe specimen nicely prepared he went
Secretly glvlug orders, therefore, for written on the winds or oil running to Ills father and, handing it tu blui.
a gunboat to Immediately embark a water.* Even the gallant Sir I'lilllp said:
detachment of soldiers and steal away Kidney wrote:
“Here, father. Is a very curious bird
in the ulgbt for I’erint Island, the gor- lie water plow« and «oweth In the sand
I shot. I thought you would tie inter
ernor then announced a farewell ban And hojK»« th« rtictevrlng wind with net to ested In It."
hold
quet and ball for the day but one fol
The old gentleman gazed upon the
hath hi« nop«« laid on a woman'«
lowing, a tlual act of courtesy with Who h«
specimen with astonishment
That
nd.
which the French admiral would will
evening tbe ornithologists of Hannltsil
~Kiimui« City Kt ar.
ingly have dispensed, for he was anx
were assembled iu Mr. Clemens' par
ious lo sail, but which he could n-q
lor. Tbe rare specimen was put be
A High Day.
well refuse on account of the use be
“Tasanh. I auttlugly would do dnt fore them. Tbe discussion wn.i long
luid made of the British supplies and Job for yo'. colouel. slid proud o' de and learned. Ths opinions ex|iress««1
machinery at Aden.
chance to extinguish umhse'f. Would were various. Oue thought the bird
So the dinner «lid party In due borrnw right iu ou It dis minute, sab. wns an offshoot gf the bird of para
course came off, the governor being tn If 'twlixii't for one thing" said a cer dise family; otbei bad v-quiiHy ridh-u-
high spirits. liecause In the meautliue tain liqmivled colored citizen who was lous uotlous ns ti Ita auceutry. But
he had received the news of the occu »<• unafraid of manual labor that tie there was one who refused to be
pation of I’erlui, which under the cir would often fall asleep III Its prem-ts-e, swerved by tbe peculiarity of tbe
cumstances would surely t-e followed "and dnt to. nab. dat I never like« to birds tall tram the Judgment that It
by the longed for promotion, and the stigmatise muiiae'f by working <>n ■ was of tbe crow family.
Freu< b admiral was equally happy, bollerviny "
Just look here." he said, lift
for lie Imped on the morrow to add
"Why, this la not a holiday." re ing the bird by Its tall festbera. He
the name luqiortnut little speck of land turned the would In* employer
got no further. The feathers came
to the dominion of bls owu country,
"Yasmili! 'Tla wkl me. It you'll darn out. There was a quick cloalug of a
thereby covering hl» breast with the '«kun- me. snh It's de imlveralty o de door.
Mr. Clemena started to leave
slurs aud hltuself with maritime glory
dn.v imih oldest Inly was done sent tu the room.
Next day. after mi Interchange of
"Gentlemen." be said, "please excuse
de |>enltenchy ”—i’uvk.
cordial fnrewvlla. the Frruch aquadroii
me a few momeuta I will ae» Hamuel
sailed away to an apparently uukiiowu
Brat aud explain Inter.
Wild Animal. In New Torti City.
destluatlou. until, when dear of (lie
It la a remar kame tael that there
land, the eourae wna laid full »peed di arc always more wild
The Comment.
aiiiiiiNiH niMiiit
rect for IVrlm Island.
The “secoml chamber." or "com
Iban any but the ei|iert I ihm an klra nt
Then what were the dismay aud die For example, there are
wltliln twenty mono." or “|iopular assembly.' or
aptsilutmeut of the Frvnvh admiral nillee of New York city fully tlfty dlf
"bouse of representative»." as It la
aud his officers when, on coming In
variously termed, takes us back to the
fervili kinds-not count Ina birds. rep
sight of their destination, they la-held
lile, or batiii* onequarter of whkb battle between the Patrician» and
the British flag flying and a company
at lea at are abundant. or more |artlr- I'lebe In republican Home. In tbe lao-
of soldi«» drawn up to give them a
tilnrly within the limita ut Greater guagv of a very hlgb authority on tbe
|>r--(>er salute. It la said the French
New York there are at trait a doarn subject. "The fl rat teal anticipation
admiral was so mortlfled at ts-tngthu»
Ipanlra of wild tieaata. halt ot wtis-b of a second (populari chamber, armed
outwitted that he first flung bla cock
are quite common.-Country Ute lu with a veto on tbe pro|H>sals of a sep
<vl hat overboard and then followed It A morivo.
arate authority and rvprraentlnir a dif
hlmaelf luto the era
ferent interest (tbe Interest <>f tbe body
Ito this as It tuay. as Pertiu was
Getting Used to ’Em.
of the people as opposed to tbe Inter
dearly already occupied by the Brit
"I Just have hrarvl ot the arrival of •st of tbe hitherto dominant arist««--
ish. the only coouter move which the the third child lu the June» family."
racyi. occurs In tbe Roman tribunate."
breach could tuaks was to take pos remarked lbs woman "The snuoviix-«
When tbe Roman Plebe got their
session of a atrip of the forvito-re on mem of the fl rat born was made he
tribunes the very beginning of tbe
the opposite Arabian coast, where
brautlfullr engraved cart to ttevt witn modern machinery of the commons or
they built the fortified white house In tiny whit« ribbon. tbe sen-ud was by
bouae of repreeentativra wna estab
question, but as the place was entirely
telegrspn. aud this third <me. though a lished New York American.
at the mercy of the guns on I’Srim la-
much wiabsvl for hoy. was made mere
laud It was shortly abandoned, to re ly by • postal card "-New tor« Free»
main to this day as a monument of a
French odmlril’o undoing - Exchange
J
EYES AND TEETH
You spend from «5.01» to $31.00 per year on your teeth
and think nothing of it.
Which would you prefer to loose
YOUR EYES or YOUR TEETH ?
Your eyes can be looked after from $1.00 to about $8.00,
and this will be the total expense for about d to
5 years, and often a great deal longer.
Reinember you can get NEW TEETH, but
EYES. What VALUE do you place on YOUR
EYES ? What [>er cent of insurance would you
pay to keep them ax good ax at present ?
Make yourself a ’Xmax. present of a pair of glaxsex ?
All work guaranteed to be satisfactory in every respect.
SA
Complete set of Abst
in office
VA
(A
D*ub««d the atatirtira
“How did Harkins act when he
hrard be had triptou In bla fnmuyr
,u -x"£Lll>lirdly
h“ '’*■
Residents.
Office opposite Post
£
*A
Both phones.
;CARL HABERLA
ATTORNEY-AT-LA
Dr. Henry E. Morris
Jpeutarhrr
Office across the street and
the Post Office.
EORGE WILL
Butterfat Alfalfa Meal
A ttorney - at -L
We have a good supply on hand and will sell
our friend» and customers while it lasts.
MAKES MORE MILK,
MORE BUTTERFAT,
MORE CHEESE and MORE MONEY
For the ^farmer than any other leed. Try a sack.
Next to Tillamook
Hauk,
T illamook
ONLY 90c. PER SACK.
H. GOYNE,
Star Brand Process Rolled
Barley,
A ttorney - at L
Office : Opposite Court
THE BEST ON THE MARKET.
T illamook , O r
...................................
i.5O
..................................... 37.50
Sack, $1.60, per bbl 6.00
.............................. bbl. $6.50
............................. aSk 1.70
751b. lb. sack...
Per Ton....................
Lighthouse, Flour
Snow Drift, .......
Snow Drift Flour
T. BOALS, M
PHYSICIAN & S
CTTTY^pTC The Grain Man
LUK 1 1O TYLER BLDG.
Come and see
tie this week.
r
i
TILLAMuOKi
Office- Olson Building.
Residence : Mrs. Weiss’ ho
Mrs. Walker's.
g
M. KERRON,
SU
PHYSICIAN &
C oncrete
B uil
Tillamcok,
J2) r - t - m - SMITH,
PHYSICIAN & SU
Office over J. A. Todd â
Tillamook, Or«.
w.a IIAWK>
PHYSICIAN & S
BAY CITY, O
R. BEALS,
REAL ESTATE
F inancial
Tillamook, Ore
i Tillamook Iron Works
General Machinists & Blacksmiths.
Boiler Work, Lo«er’s Work and Heavy Forging.
Fine Machine Work a Specialty.
TILLAMOOK
OREGON,
R. A. D. PER
RESIDENT DEN
Office iu Sturgeon's B
All Work Guaran
TILLAMOOK.
P. J- SHARP,
P)R
RESIDENT
HARNESS, COLLARS, etc.
You Use Them,
We Sell Them.
W. A. WILLIAMS & CO.,
Next Door to Tillamook County Bank.
The Best Hotel
THE ALLEN HOUSE,
•I. P. ALiLtEN* Proprietor.
Headquarters for Travelling Men
Special Atteution paid to Tourists.
A First Class Table.
DEN
Office across the street
Court House.
Dr. Wise’s offi
''p SARCHET,
*■ . The Fashionable
Cleaning, Pressing and
ing a Specialty.
Store io Heins Phot
Gallery.
OBERT A. MI
Comfortable Beds and Accommodation
A ttorney - at -
leand Titles, Land
ness and Mining
PORTLAND,
Room. 306 Commercia
Li» Ornes Bvwaaas
a sractaLTV.
/"A OWING
&
LAWYERS.
•he C«sld Talk.
Cynlcns-That girl ne ver «ars mneh.
dora sbet Milieu»-YVhy. sbv talk» all
thè lime. Cyuk-ta»-That dorso t alte»
my contentk-u. — rhltodelptila Record
Taxes paid
CLEANING & PRESSING
Did You Ever Try
neatly done
IIA RM 18*8 NF.W FEED AND
UTERI BARN,
at the
TOGGERY I
If not, give him a call
Everything first-cl
block South of P.O
W. G.
HARRIS, Prop.
R oom 334 __
__
Tso* m Oxaersesn
■oom Meat to tta U B. Land
PORTLAND, o
M ABONic
No. 574m««t. aa
loor Ha" at