■#
T illamook
INDUCTORS.
f Mpried Duties Tier
I to R»i form.
THE BISHOP STAYED.
Hs Risksii a Row, but Didn’t Hsvs to
Leave His Bed.
Tbe bishop of a southern dhKexe was
ence making a missionary journey
through Arkansas and tbe Indian Ter
ritory. and on bis arrival at Natchez
he said to tbe landlord of a hotel. “I
have been traveling for a week, day
and nlgbt. III a mail wagon, and I waul
a comfortable room.”
“Sorry.” said the landlord, "but 1
don't believe there's a vacant room In
I Natchez.
There’s a horse race, a
■ Methodist conference and a political
' convention in tbe city, and every house
i is full up. The only thiug I can give
I you is a shakedown.” Then, observing
the bishop's tired face, he added: •‘The
best room In my house Is rented to a
■ noted gambler, who usually remains
out all night and seldom gets In liefore
breakfast. If you will take tbe risk
you shall hare bls room, but If be
should come in there'll be a row. I'll
promise you that.”
The bishop decided to take the risk.
I About 4 o'clock In the morning the
gambler returned and promptly shook
j the bishop by the arm.
I “Get out of here or I’ll put you ont!"
he shouted.
Tbe bishop, the gentlest of men. rais
ed himself on one elbow so that It
ill pr, toil.Ii be brought tbe muscles of bls arm Into
Mtor' he
..... H> full relief.
^Mofil. .
......
“My friend.” he began quietly, "be
^Krri
i he
fore you put me out will yon have tbe
aud down lite line. It kindness to feel of my arm?"
riy Hi tie car. but it Is Tbe gambler put his band on tbe
t to a homelike ¡mice. bishop’s arm.
^Knib’ok be
....... “Stranger.” he then said respectfully,
i
of tbe tram »war “you can stay.”—Youth's Companion.
Mfilte nnd lie «ill lie
all the while that
KEENLY INTERESTED.
aiw attending to tlieir
1 train Is in good order, Lincoln’s Question After the Commit
at ¡there are no hot
teeman Had Finished.
nnd In Imminent Just after tbe second battle of Bull
■Br'‘ to t lie t min nnd Run the Boston chamber of commerce
Htons
i
decided that President Lincoln was
to be accomplished in not prosecuting the war with enough
The condm
celerity to conserve the Interests of
^5vnybills of Hie cars
business, and so it appointed a com
HKrir contents, and he
mittee to go to Washington and re
ilftfe for their
de monstrate with him upon bis dilatory
destination or tbejtinc- tactics. Tbe committee was beaded by
B they are to la- de
a Mr. Pierce.
Mines.
“We found.” he said, ‘‘a man who
tees to the passenger looked as if be bad lost all the friends
(til tie still more Iwsik- he ever bad In the world, who invited
Stint him. and tie will
us to take seats and Inquired our busi
M» <>f good mental at- ness. As I was tbe spokesman. I open
handle all tlte many, ed our case, and as I proceeded tbe
’ of local nnd through president's face relaxed. By and by he
a. mileage tetsiks. ¡maxes nnd otb smiled nnd betrayed actual Interest,
mis of tran»|H>rintion contracts and by tbe time I concluded be was al
Waiting
For to ths
Children.
nme
to him.
detei-t
tlm giant
most in a broad grin. After I had fin
old
woman
bobbled out
up tbe
In I ciatti
he eon
tie bad.
to throw
ished be inquired If that was all I bad
excitedly-
of the
and said
> < that
are train
constantly
Ix-lng
offer-
to say. and on my saying that I
yet
Jt you
lim.
He to
will pleei-e
have to holdt
carry ■»■
quite
thought it was be asked If some of tbe
ler ms-mint
tiondiickltor.
my and
t wo
ey
for cash vile
affairs,
other gentlemen wouldn't like to ray
drain?
Itklnder
cullies by
■ws
the mislnkex
will the
have
to be I something. They replied that they
off out
midouit
dey is gon» thought I had fully covered the
ar
of his dem
own undt
pis-ket.
a vast In dey
yes.” of nis linsl- ground.
that
only can.
a phase
And then.” continued Mr.
' He
conductor
looked impiitientiv
Is responsible
for Hie cnee a' Pierce, “what do you suppose this sol
rateb.
then
nt l.iln
Ibe iralu.
woman's
»fe
condui
t of
equal pa-
}
emn man did? Well, be just moved bia
• face. lu the
Then
he conseimal
ixlble
last respei-t
with III, io cbnlr over to mine, smoothed his trou
a
little,
as
tbe
train
was
on
time
■er. lie also receives nnd signs
sers over his knee, then reached over
minutes
later
eyed, and smoothed mine down. too. and
r e train
orders,
and two
he lx blue
required
»y ill
cheeked
came of on the
the then, with a queer look, which none of
•p
mind children
every detail
up over
Io their
grandmother,
I rushed
progress
tlte line
He wtP
us will ever forget, be said. 'Mr.
d her.
her on
the train Pierce, did you ever notice what a
his
own belptai
assortment
of question»
her birdcage
basket
and Jour
then difference there Is in legs?’
iwer
nt every and
stage
of file
ed nd away.
■
he will lie ex lasted to mnin-
"What did we de? We grabbed our
jat
conductor
thought
i« iqsin
none bats and took tbe first train for Bos
Ihe tbe
discipline
of tbe
railroad
person'»
Chien-
• refined
ins. That
may business.
menu In —
tlie
one ton. and we never dared to report!”—
iwz the ejectment of a passenger Ladles’ Home Journal.
nee
refuses to pay bis fare—ami stii:
lust Selling
uot Involve
road in any
Baked the
Potatoes.
The Carbuncle.
■amage
i baked suit
|>otato
—or merchant
In another
lx tlie
n mm-
sub-
Carbuncles, to which the ancients at
Ively of modern
Institution
In mat
tbe tributed fantastic properties, were in
tlon
some gang
of drunken
>n
Tbe
streets,
real wonder
the first
of It ¡Mitato
Is that can
so reality rubles. They served. It was
f g conductors
come as near
as they said, to give light to large serpents or
made Its npiieanince.
ni-cordlug
Mayhew, about
the year
» enry
tbe Chesterfield
inn standards.
— dragons whose sight bad been eo-
Fifteen
years later,
May- feebled by age. They bore them con-
■ rd
Huugerford
In Out wlien
lug Maaa-
lubllxhed Ills "Loudon I.Mlx>r and stnntly tietween their teeth and laid
ondun Poor." he eslinialed that them down only for eating and drlnk-
were 2<W) hot potato renders In ing. It was even claimed that tbe car-
o. each selling on an average IVsi hnncle emitted light In darkness and
nny pots Ines ■ day. “In cold that the thickest clothing could not
er.” adds Mayhew, “the potatoes stop Its rays. Without all tbe exag
■oily are Ixiugbt to warm itm geration of sueb legends It was be
Indeed, an eminent divine lieved for a long time that rubles con
i them In a public »¡ata h annaig tained luminous rays. Tbe truth Is
•st of modern improvemetita ax that they bare double refraction and
ig an excellent nwdiutn for dlf- send out the rod rays with unequaled
warmth Into the system liy lie brilliancy. Traversed in a vacuum by
'Id In tbe gloved h.-ittd -Loudon an electric current, they are Illuminat
Ide.
ed with a red fire of extreme Inten
sity.
Tbe greatest beat does not
Giving Him Hse Trade.
change tbelr form or tbelr color.
re was a new clerk at tbe corner
more.
Old Days on the Stage.
■41 yon please let me hare a
1 have known n dress coat banded
F smiled the woman.
from one to another In tbe wings sev
clerk laid one on the runnier eral times during a performance. It
•ok tbe money.
was a current idea that white cotton
rlsh." said she. “that yon would stockings assumed tbe appearaoce of
1 this letter. Maybe If lakes more silk from tbe front by making a heavy
2 cents." He weighed It.
line of white chalk on tbe shin booe.
ly 2 cents, madam." he «aid. A white tie was easily made from a
taking the stamp np from the strip of note l>aper. and even a shirt
•r where she had left It lying, front could be managed from highly
led politely. “Allow nte Io put If glazed note |>a per. White cotton gloves
I yon." and he did.
were de rigueur In place of tbe more
it are so nice." «aid «he “that I'm expensive kid ones. A comedian, hav
I tn begin to buy my |t>*t<-ards ing no Mack stockings, once blacked
ton."—New York Pre««.
bis legs. After tbe sbow be asked tbe
stage manager. "Do we play this
The Flying Idea.
piece again?"
"Yes; next week."
first man who gut <be theory of "Ob. tbei> I nerd not wash my legs'”
Ing machine right was m> ‘ess a — From "Ramblings of an Old Mum
i than the painter l-eouarrio da mer." by Russell Cranfurd.
He pictured It as heavier than
•ovlded with wings and uplifted,
Might Have Been Worse.
te of Its weight, by tbe rapid
‘Toor b'yeT exclaimed O'Hara, con
tfcma of a propeller
l^onanto doling with Cassidy. who bad been In
a Idea that tbe propeller might jured by ■ blast ~ Tto tough tack
med by clot kwork nr by setting to liar yer hand Mowed off."
•her of laboring men to turn a
“Ort!
Faith. It might ’are bin
" Suppose
?. but la that respect be was iuia- worse." replied Cassidy
Old had me week's wages In It at tbe
—Fall Mall Gaaette.
tetato.”
I
headlight ,
J anuary 20;i9io.
STUDY CF JAPANESE.
THE UBIQUITOUS CENT.
Difficulties of ths Spoken sad th.
Written Language.
Army ofli'-erx who are lliiiiking of
taking up llie xtial.v of Japanese should
pause before lliey atleuipt Ibe task
and ask tlieuiselies wbellier they have I
s peculiarly strong linguisiie nptiiud*.
Even ibe Japanese find their language
very ditticult. The Anglo-Saxous who
growl a lx mt ibe ditttculllex of our spell
ing and favor tbe siui|ilified ayateui
would never live If they had to under
go what tile subject of the mikado suf
fers in the matter of language.
It takes a Ja|siuexe c hild seven years
to learu the essential parts of tlie
alphabet, There aro214 signa wbk h
serve tbe same pur|K«e as initial lei
terx in English dictionaries.
Then
after you have trucked down in oue of
these 241 signs some ¡curt of tbe char
acter for which you are alsiut to
make a search you still have a veri
table darkest Africa a bead of you.
The poui|MHis first persoual pronoun is
avoided whenever it is possible in
s|X‘iikiug Japanese.
If it must be
used it is Iutrcslueed casually, but gen
ernlly the ulmtraet nouu "selbshness"
serves In Its stead.
For example, a Japanese would not
say. "I don't drink wiup,” but “Wine
don't driuk." or. if this is uot dear
enoiigli. "Seltishuess wine don't drink."
Refereuee to your possessions must be I
deprecatory. Thus if a man wishes to
¡Kiint out bis own residence he says.
"That miserable house." which, of
course, could refer to uo other than his
own.
Uli tbe other bund. “That beautiful
house” would easily identify tbe house
as belonging to some one else, More
over, any one who wishes to tea rn
Japanese must be prepared tn lea rn
two languages—the written and tbe
spokeu. The one differs so materially
from the other that if a Japauese is
reading a book or uewspa|>er and
w ishes to do so aloud it becomes nec
essary for him to translate the written
words Into tbe colloquial. To be able
to read any of Ibe higher class Japa
nese newspaicers It is necessary to
master at least from 2.500 to 3.000
ideographs.—Army aud Navy Journal.
No Other Dereimination Has Under-
gone So Many Changes.
The universal money of the people
In Ibis country Is tbe cent. Tbe child
does his earliest businesa thinking In
terjus of ceuts. Tbe hobo bolds up the
passerby with tbe request for a few
cents to relieve the ¡utngs of hunger.
It is the unit of coinage. On the other
side of tbe cuutlneuY tbe contempt for
It is rapidly being overcome, and the
miuts have to take a constantly In
creasing denmnd for
luto their
reckonings The appearume of the
new Lincoln cent Is one of tbe most in
teresting additions to this coinage that
have been produced, For practically
the first time it substitutes the real for
tbe ideal, or. rather, the fanciful.
I’erhaps no other monetary denomi
nation has undergone so many changes
of design. Since tbe republic was born
there have lieen almost annual changes
In tbe character of tbe cent. Most of
these have been trivial, though some
have been radical. The cent of 1792
bore a bust of Liberty, with flowing
hair and tbe legend "Liberty. Parent
of Science and Industry.’’ The next
vear wbat was known as the ‘‘chain
•ent" was produced, showing on the
reverse, a chain with fifteen links.
There were many imperfect dies in
those days, but tbe fmperfoctlona have
not infrequently made them more pre-
?lous to coin collectors. A genuine
1799 cent lias been among tbe pieces
aiost prized by the numismatist, since
they early became very scarce. This
ffas said to be due to the enterprise of
a Salem firm that secured several hun-
lr«Hl thousand of them and sent them
to the coast of Africa, where, punched
with holes, they were bung as orna
ments on the necks of tbe natives.—
Boston Transcript.
PROMPT TO ACT.
A Man Who Seemed Always to Bs
Ready For Emergencies,
To lie ready for emergencies was one
of the gifts of Dr. Samuel Gridley
Howe, the great teacher of the blind,
writes his daughter. Mrs. Laura E.
Richards, who has edited bls "Letters
and Journals.” She gives several In
stances in which his quick action pre-
vented serious accidents.
Once at Green Peace my father was
going tn drive with my mother and my
sister Florence In a cloned carriage
with a large window In front.
As tlte driver wns mounting the box
1.1 dropped his whip and got down Io
recover It. This startled the young
horses, and they bolted down tbe
driveway.
My father tried to open the big win
dow. but It stuck fast. He flashed
through I he ¡date glass as If It bad
been paper and. catching up Ibe reins,
slopped ilte runaways In less time than
It takes Io lell it.
When Thomas came running up.
while and breathless, he found “doc
tor" quietly shaking the bits of glass
from his coat and lint and explaining
to my terrified mother that he “went
so quick there was no time to get cut."
Still another memory of my mot Iter’s
nhows bls quickness In a different
way. He was walking along Washing
ton street one day when a furious dog
rushed at him and lilt Ills hand severe
ly-
There was no Tasteur Institute In
tbe forties. My father Instantly raise«]
up llie skin nnd flesh of the bitten part
aod. Mild Ing It firmly, entered tbe
nearest apotlmeary's shop.
"Cut this piece off." be said briefly.
The nisithecary exclaimed In horror
He could not. lie would not. without a
surgeon's order. It wa» out of th*
quest Ion.
“I am a surgeon." said my father,
“and I command yon to cut It off."
It was «-nt off. My father dressed
tbe wound with bls other band aod
went about hla businesa.
Made Him Sick.
A not«M golfer one afternoon played
rntlier Istdly. He turned to his caddie
sftet be had fixizled a drive and said
In bis genial way:
"This Isn’t a pleasant spectacle for
you. I'm aa tied aa a Scotch laird at
Ht. Andrews. The Mt. Andrews cad
dies are all old men. and one day when
tills In Ini was In especially bad form
bis caddie, after nine hole« of missed
shots and putts, shook bia gray old
bead, surreudere«! tbe laird's bag of
clulis to atiotlier c addie aud said:
"‘Ye’ll uo mind, laird? I made but
a poor liren'kfnat this tnornin'. and I'tn
no lu ■ n »Millloo to stand any malr
o t.’ ”
The Navsl Orange,
Tlie first we know of the navel
orange, which Is very valuable not
only on account of Its fine quality and
taste, but also liecause of Ila being
seed teas, lx of a single tree that was
p.mid growing on the northern shore
of the Mediterranean sea. This was
Slanut lite year 1ML Grafts of this
tree were taken to Hpaln by the Mdona
several hundred years ago. and from
F| m I u tlte trees were rarrled to Month
America by the Kpaniards.-iM. Nleho-
The Campanils of St. Mark’s.
"in Venice the campanile of St.
Marx's has now reached such a height
ts to make an almost startling object
lesson on tbe terribly prosaic state of
barduess. tightness, smoothness, novel
ty aud rigid repair in which the ages
of antiquity possessed tbe buildings
we bold veuerable.” says, a writer.
“It is a iierfect facsimile of the orig
inal belfry tower of which tbe fall
gave a shock to all hearts, and that
beautiful tower before it fell bad a
surface, a sweetness, an imperceptible
disintegration, which was tbe bloom
of time. A random touch of green
lodged between Its bricks, thanks to
tbe birds or tbe winds, its successor
Is au almost hideous disappointment
and looks like nothing but a part of
some monstrous factory.”
Outrages of the "’•lephons.
That tbe lileplione has Uicssed many
* man. saved many Ilves and bellied
A Fascinating Occupation For '•he pile up fortunes is true, but Ims It uot
Tourist In Paris.
cursed some ivomeu. ruined more Ilves
Window gazing lx one ut the recog and hastened domestic ndsforluue?
nised vcH-atiouH of the tourtxt lu Paris. It has. lias it not liecouie tbe favorite
Eiervtiudy engages lu tuia tuacluatiug pastime uf the women with notbiug
cM-cuiuithin. a'ad. in truth. It would be to du? It bus. Hoes it not accelerate
lni|HMxlble to resist tbe temptatlou. fur gossip aud aid tbe flirt and tbe way
tbe roust beautiful wares are xet forth ward constantly? It does. Self In
lu tbe must artistic manner, aud tbe dulgent womeu waste tbelr busbauds'
only way you cuu withstand tbe desire money by ordering food over tbe loo
for ¡xiKHexaioii Is to leave tbe coiu of bandy telephone rather tbau bother to
the realm and even your letter ..r dress for the street, thereby losing
credit al home; otherwise there is uo both tbelr wholesome morning exer-
telling luto what extravaguuce. uot to else aud their chance thriftily to xe-
«a.r useless purchase, you may be |>er- cure tbe best there Is for the price at
suaded wbeu probably you have just market or at stores from which tbe
goue out tor a moriilug stroll.
family larder Is supplied. The lime
Ut all these windows tbe jewelers wasted by women lu foolish phoning
seem to tie the greatest magnets. Hui can never be offset by time gained by
Ibe bewildering |>ari of It is I bat to forehanded men lu business, fur wh»t
tlie uinn or woman unversed lu tbe shall It profit a man If be gain ilio
knowledge of pracluus stoues (lie lull- whole world if bis "jvorld" Is lust
tatlous thereof look quite as gcxsl as through folly?
tbe genuine articles. I'earla. dlamouds.
Telephoning, from a habit, finally lie-
rutiles, suieraids aud so tbrougbout comes a vice and a menace to tbe cour
the loug list stones are qp perfectly lui
tesies. It has destroyed tlte tine art
Puled that It Is small wonder many of social correspoudeuce.
It has
American women succumb to the crowued Haste with Courtesy's laurel.
temptation of buying them Hut there —Minna Thomas Antrim lu Lippin
tbe temptatlou does uot end. for they cott's.
bring them home wltb all tbe luteut
Io dazzle, bewilder aud deceive tlieir
Old Name» For Guns.
unxus|iectliig relatives and friends
As tbe use of artillery lieeaine more
with tbe uiagnlficeuce of tbelr sudden common and tbe advantages of ¡airt-
ly acquired wealth of jewels. Womeu ability and a greater rapidity of tiro
whom one would uever suspect of were recognized guns, except among
wearing linllnlioii gems frequeut the the orientals, became smaller, but of
shops where they are for sale tn I'nr Is better workmanship and construction.
lu the most opeu. not to say brazeu. Inventors began to try their bauds at
manner, while tbe toretgu papers fair all sorts of improvements or attempts
ly bristle with advertisements of re at improvement, and in tbe course of
constructed aud Imltstlou gems, which a hundred years or so tbe number of
only goes to sbow wbat a lucrative different pieces of ennuoii. lurge and
business It must be.—New York Trib ■ mall, tuuzxle or breecbloadlug, was
une.
simply legion.
There were can non,
cannon royal aud deml-caniion. three or
four classes of culverius. bombards,
AN OLD BUSYBODY.
mortars, perrlers, serpentines, car-
What ths Bridegroom Thought of th* tbouns. curtails, passevolants or zebra-
tauas. basilisks, orgues. sakers, uilu-
Old Native at the Station.
While waiting for tbe train the bride ions, mojaues. falcons and falconets,
and bridegroom walked slowly up aud robinets. fowlers, bases, slings, port
pieces. murderers, drakes, aspics, dou
down tbe platform.
“I don't know what this Joking and ble dogs and lagtors. to say uotblng of
guying may have been to you." be re- rlliadoqulua. flying dragons aud par
mark«-d. "but It's death to me. 1 never tridge tuortara.-Geutlemau's Maga
zine.
experienced such an ordeal.”
“It’s perfectly dreudful," she an
A Cutting Retort.
swered. “I shall tie so glad when we
Before dinner, at tbe house of a rich
get away from everybody we know.”
"They’re actually Impertinent,” be banker In Florence. Colonel (afterward
tbe Earl of) Dundas hud said some
went on. “Why, the very natives”—
At ibis unpropltioua moment tbe ■burp (hinge about tbe crudities of
thia
Notwithstanding
wheezy old station master walked up Americans.
rudeness It fell to his lot to take M me.
to them.
“Be you goln' to take tbts train T' he Bonaparte (Betsy I’sttersoui In to ta-
ble.
He Impertinently asked Mme.
asked.
“It's none of your business.” retorted Bonaparte If she bud read Basil Uall’a
the bridegroom ludlgnantly as be tKxik on America. In which he pro
guided the bride up tbe platform, nounced nil Americans vulgarians.
"Yes. Colonel Dundas." she an
where they condoled with each other
over the Impertinence of some of the swered. "hilt It did not surprise me In
tlie leust. If my compatriots were de
natives.
Onward came tbe train. Its vapor scended from tbe Itolluns or B|uinlsb.
curling from ofar. It wax the Iasi any display of low lir«‘eding might as
to their destination that day—an ex tonish me: but. being the direct de
press. Nearer an«l nearer It came ai scendanta of Englishmen. It ls naturili
full »¡teed; then lu a moment it whiz euougb that they uhuuld be vulva-
rlaus.”
zed past and was gone.
WINDOW GAZING.
Ths Highest City.
Cerro de Pasco is tbe highest town
in tbe world. The remarkable broad
’gauge railway by which It Is reached
passes over a higher altitude, about
that of Mont Blanc, nnd there are
mining can>i>s and Indian villages at
greater elevations. It Is also true that,
there are higher railway stations, for
on tbe Arequlpe-Puno line tbe station
of Crucero Alto attains tbe stupendous
"Why In thunder didn't that train
elevation of 14.060 feet, but at 14,200
feet above tbe sea level there Is oo •top?" yelled the br.degroom
"Coa you .sett 'twaru't none of my
other real towD of 8,000 inhabitants,
with a*railway station, telegraphs, tel busIneM. k4uis to signal If ibat train’s
,
ephones. churches, shops, clubs, bosp»- to stop.”
And aa-tbe old station master softly
tals and vice consuls. It is a wonder
ful example of American enterprise.— stroked blici^'flrd there wss a wicked
twinkle In bls ey«-— Loudon Tlt-Blts.
W. A. Hirst In Loudon Spectator.
Ha Was Acting.
Stephen Phillips, th« dramatist and
poet, begau life u» a member ot F. R
Benson’s
repertoire company.
An
■ musing story la told of bls debut. Mr
Bensou hud told biro that tbe great
thing for an actor la to act. "It does
not mstter," be continued, “so much
wbnt tbe words are which tbe actor
■peak* ■• the Impression wblcb be con
vay« to tbe audience by those wordu.”
Then be gave Mr. Phillips tbe pari of
Balthasar to "Borneo and Juliet." On
th« first nlgbt Baitbazar managed tbe
first line of hto part and then forgot
tbe rest. Romeo. In tbe person of Mr
Benson, toad to go to his assistance
aud speak tbe rest of tbe part for him.
while Baltbazar exhibited ao agony of
Sing Sing Prieon.
speechless grief. “Wbat do you mean,”
Sing Sing prison is to be moved Mr. Benson sfteewsrd demanded, “by
across the Hudson river fifteen or going on tbe stage without knowing
twenty miles northward, just eight your part?" "1 was only doing wbat
miles south of West Point, where a you told me. You said tbe great thing
large tract of land has been purchase*, oo tbe stage was not so tnueb tbe
and a gang of several hundred coe words you spesk ss to act. Well, I
victs has been working for two yean was sctlng.”—koodoo Tit-Bits.
grading the ground and quarrytag
stone to build the walls to abut them
Tast.
selves in. The present prison was also
“I am sorry Ho bars to tall you so.
built by convicts in 1826 with mate boya.” aakl the»»lessent looking visitor
rial fouud on the grounds; but, al arbo was addressing tbs Huudsy
though it baa been enlarged every few artiooi. “but tbare Is uot oue chance
yean and Is now one of the largeat lu a ibousand that any oue of you
penitentiaries In tbe world. It is not ♦ver will beypresldeut of tbs United
large enough - Exchange.
Htatea'
Htlll be fall«! to secure tbelr und I
Overlooked.
▼Med sttenHou.
“Here’s a new disease that afflicts
"But If you Itos up to your oppor
people that alt too mach In automo tuoltlee.” be wuot on. eying them
biles."
keeuly. “soiuo bright boy In Ibis sudl
"Yes. And I remember there was a ence may tiecome a great baseball
special ailment for tbe users of bicycle ptteber or'tbe worM's cbampkiu beta
saddles."
mao.”
“Of course the inedb-al fellows are at
Inatsotly every boy sat up straight
work on a serious stunt for the chaps aud begs» ta Itateo.-Chicago ITtbune
who perch on aeroplanes."
“No doubt of It. But lt> seems funny
that they bare all along neglected to
put something pair, fa I on the rural
hired man who continues to alt on t tar
fence"—Cleveland Plain Itealer a
Knighthood and the Stage.
II only remains for King Edward to
knight George Bernard Shaw to cover
every branch of the dramatic field In
England Gilbert was the first play
wright to be permitted to wear knee
breeches in the king's presence, and
Gilbert's business was comic opera.
Ills partner. Sullivan, died a knight.
Irving was knighted for bls tragedy.
Wyndham for bls comedy. Beerbotim
Tree now becomes a knlgbt by reason
of bis exceptional skill in dressing a
stage and in casting a play, and last,
but not least. Pinero wears a title tn
recognition of bia rank aa the first of
contemporary English dramatists.— Ar
gonaut.
Cursory.
"Eddie." said the teacher, "can you
give n definition of cursory? The word
Is generally used In cunnectlun with
¡lubll" speaking.
For example, we
often retid that aomebo'ly made n few
cursory remark.a.' 1‘lense write a sen
tence contalnlug the word cursory.”
After a brief struggle Eddie evolved
thia masterpiece:
____
"Yesterday my pa helped my nijrio
hang pictures, aud when tbe ladder
fell after pa bad climbed to tbe top
of it be bumped hla head iigainnt tbe
corner of the dining room table and
then made a few cursory remarks."—
Chicago Record Herald.
-/
On Their Minds.
“I've got something on my mind that
I’ve got to get rid of,” said Ibe author,
bursting In and seizing a pad aod
pencil.
“And when you bare got iltl of It
and bare received a check for It theta
Is aometblng down In tbe mllllnef'a
window that I want to get on my
mind.” said tbe author's wife, pk-klng
up bls hat. coat and umbrella. -Ex
change.
Desirable.
A lady just arrived from Australia
was recently negotiating with au scent
in London fur it bouse In one of the
newer districts of Kensington.
Rhe
asked If It was • nice neighborhood.
"It Is thoroughly desirable, madam,"
replied tbe house agent. "They are,
without exception, soup aud fish fam-
11 les."
The Amateu
’MS.
"If I were you." he said as they
started o«it to dloner, “Pd get me an
other washerwoman. That waist of
yours is very badly ironed.
What's
tbe matter?’ for suddenly he naw a
tear lu tbe eye of tbe Impecunious girl.
“1 ironed It myself." said she.
A Medset Request.
Husband of Gifted Writer-la your
novel nearly done?
Gifted Writer-Tea, my dear, but my
hero must die. you know.
‘‘Well, after he’s dead, will you aew
this button oo for me?"-Fllegends
Blatter.
The Leeson.
Bunday School Teacher-What do we
learn from tbe elory of the man who
was told to take np bls bed and walkf
Smell Bemmle—We learn that they
bod folding beds In ancient tlmoe.—
Chicago Newa.
Mads Him Bick.
"Whet's the matter? You look
fully white. Kesslck?’’
"Naw. There's ■ girl down below
reading • love letter ■kmd Io soother
girl "-CTevelsod I’tata Deaiar.