T i LLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, SEPiEMBER>I6, 1909.
t
A CLEVER RECTOR. “
going for the doctor .
How Ho Got All the Young Men ta
Church on Sunday.
"Many Interesting stories are told of
Bishop Wilmer of Alabama, who was
noted for his wit and sharp repartee,"
said a clergyman. “A story which to
considered characteristic of the man
was told by a Virginia minister:
'Wheu Bishop Wilmer was rector
of the little Protestant Episcopal
church at Upperville, Va., he was
much worried by the nonattendance at
service on Sundays of the majority of
the youug men of the community. On
Inquiry he found that instead of going
to church they were in the habit of
playing marbles for stakes. Marbles
lu those days, it must be remembered,
was a much more serious game than
It Is now, occupying much the same
position In the realm of sports as do
billiards and pool in these days.
"'Bishop Wilmer, then a parson not
well known, determined to break up
this practice. He himself had been an
expert marble player in his boyhood.
Accordingly one Saturday he came
across a number of the youug men
engaged in a game. The good bishop
«eked several questions and finally
challenged the lot to play him for
■ keeps." They readily consented.
••'Much to their astonishment, the
young minister won steadily, and soon
they had to go to the stores to replen
ish their stock. Toward the close of
the afternoon Mr. Wilmer had won
every marble tn the town of Upper
ville.
Putting his “winnings" in a
bag. hd remarked as he walked away,
"Now. gentlemen, since you can't play
marbles tomorrow I hope to see you
nil at church.” And he did.'’’—Wash
lugton Herald.
oks
on-
ON.
»
ron
sc,
SERVED THE TERRAPIN.
'N,
of
Í,
N,
it
I.
And Also th. Rea.on Why Ho Was
After the Medical Man.
J°Ur honor- ’ said the mau
who had beta arrested fur driving bin
bbtomoblle ar au lllvgal ral„
1 admit that 1 was running tulrty
miles an hour, but I was going for
the doctor."
h,OhLi0U were 8°ln8 for the doctor.
Ln„UC.a“ J0U Offer “ny proof t0 SUb
stantiate that statemeut?”
‘■'es. | can bring in the doctor
as a wltues»- « necessary.”
‘Urn! That ought to make a differ-
ence. The law is explicit, but we
must grant that there uiay be exten
uating circumstances.
There have
hare
been times when the court would hare
been glad to run thirty miles au bour
If the court could have done so. Cer
tainly a man should not be held too
strictly to the provisions ot the law
If be happens to violate It for the pur
pose of trying to sare a life. The
court Is very strongly Inclined to dis
miss the case. Hid you explain to the
officer who arrested you that you were
going for the doctor?”
"Yes. your botior.”
“Officer, what bare you to sar?”
“Well, your honor. 1 asked him.
wtn u be said he was going tor the
doctor, what be was going for the doc
tor fur."
"Yes. That was very sensible. What
was he going for the doctor for?"
"For to take the doctor and two
young ladles for a ride, as 1 found out
unbeknownst to him."
"Thirty dollars and costs."-Cblcago
Record-Herald.
J. R. HARTER
Real Estate and
Financial Agent
Insurance.
OFFICE: TILLAMOOK HOTEL.
WAGONS, BUGGIES, Bicycles.
AUTOMOBILES.
A COLLECTOR’S RUSE.
The Way He Secured a Rare Piece of
Dresden Ware.
We should cultivate our fancy for old
china as did the late Mr. Wertheimer,
the art dealer, concerning whom there
is a story that every bargain hunter
should take to heart.
Wertheimer was one day passing
through Mayfair when he noticed a
sale about to take place of the "furnl
ture and household effects of a de
ceased nobleman.” He walked through
the rooms where dealers were critical
ly examining choice specimens of un
doubtedly genuine Chippendale and
Sheraton, interspersed among early
Victorian furniture, bls eyes apparent
ly dwelling on nothing But when the
sale was about to commence be asked
the auctioneer if he would take 15.300
for everything in the bouse.
The offer was accepted. “Now you
can resell everything for me." said Mr.
Wertheimer, "except this,” and he took
down from the mantelpiece a dirty or
nament some nine Inches high ami put
it iuto bls pocket, it was a piece of
the rarest Dresden, bearing tlie covet
ed mark of the wand of Aesculapius,
which he afterward sold for £10.000.
How the dealers metaphorically kick
ed themselves for overlooking It atid
how they bid against one another In
the chance of securing a similar treas
ure is still a tradition in Bond street.—
London Chronicle.
Automobile
Salesroom,
Chapman and Alder Sts, PORTLAND.
Wagons
and Buggies,
330 E Morrison St. PORTLAND.
many a minister's salary is so small
that he is unable to provide the com
monest necessities for his family and
have enough left to supply himself
with needed books The church that
makes It Impossible for ks pastor to
buy books barms Itself even more than
It barms the minister.—‘Cumberland
Presbyterian.
guaranteed
first class, and
order promptly attended to.
HILL TRADE FOR ANYTHING IN TILLA
MOOK THAT LOOKS GOOD.
TILLAMOOK,
LANDS IMPROVED
UNIMPROVED
Tillamook City Property in any part of
City.
BAY CITY LOT8.
Small Tracts near Bay City as low as
$35.00 per acre.
Timber of good quality consisting of
spruce, hemlock, tie and cedar near to
water. Several hundred acres to be had
in one body, by
J. C. BEWLEY,
Tillamook, Oregon.
Nothing doing on Sundays.
FARM
280 Acres, 10 miles from Brownsville and 3 miles
from Crawfordsville, in Linn county. 80 acres of level
land. 40 acres cleared and under plow. All of the place
is under fence and sub-divided. 160 acres of heavy saw
timber of fir, pine and oak, will cruise over 1,000,000
feet. Watered by running creeks and springs the year
round. “L” house of 5 rooms in fair condition. Stock
sheds for stock. Poultry house, etc. Three miles to
school and post-office. Will throw in the following
stock : 6 good cows, 25 head of sheep, 2 brood hogs, 60
head in all of chickens, geese and turkeys.
I am coming to Tillamook in about three weeks
and will accept any place that will compare favorably
with what I have to offer.
I hold the value of this place of $5,500. Write or
call on
ROLLIE W. WATSON,
ii *« ii • .* * > «11 • v « »11
THE POET SAYS
“ Beauty draws us
by a single hair.”
■h**.*’
MMM*
Thin Reenis like Romething of
an exngerntion on the part of the
poet, if at least does not apply to
men. The man with a single
hair would not draw worth a
cent, unless as a curiosity.
People to look their best need
hair, they need all they evei
have. If the hair begins to go it
is time to use
Tillamook City. Oregon.
Have your eyes examined before starting to school. ®
Do not be troubled with your eyes this winter. If you
have your eyes properly fitted with a pair of glasses you kA
will not be compelled to go home with a sick headache
or be troubled with a headache at all.
Have your eyes examined before they become strained
for close wotk and avoid future trouble,
guaranteed satisfactory.
Almost Heavenly.
Dr. Henry C. Morris.
At Jenkins’ Jewelry Store, Tillamook, Ore.
OREGON.
Real Estate for Sale
Partly Improved Stock Ranch in Linn County Will
Trade for 40 Acres or Over of Like Value
in Tillamook County.
In a satirical article entitled "Th«
Natural History of American Million
alres" a writer In the Berliner 'Iage
blatt says: "They all came to Nev
York. t'hieag'i or Philadelphia with
one shirt and with one cent In ihe
pocket of the only oilier garment. All
served as bootblacks, errand boys ot
even In more humble positions and hi
the second week had saved enough
to buy a waistcoat. After one mouth
they appeared before their respective
employers chltl In new clothes a mi
told them with Imposing self cotill
dem e that I lie organization of their
business was defective and required
reorganization. A year later the Ian
has become a partner, in two years lie
has outstripped the former boss t;>
wealth, and a year later lie has groat
smart enough to kill off tlie beneluclo
of other days. All American million
aires arise al 3 in the morning, eai
and drink almost nothing, cease llieli
work at midnight and allow only thorn
to live whom they think are gem
enough to invite. Every dollar king
founds a university, au opera, a mu
seu lit or ii picture gallery. I.i
conies a burden Io them when
are no more competitors in
branch worthy of destruction,
they lie down uud die ut ennui."
Doing a Man's Work.
The Widow Skinner has been twice
bereaved, and she was telling me about
her two husbands over a cup of ton
“Boggs was the first." she salt!
dreamily, "a ornery hound wot usued
to git drunk and come home and lam
baste me nil over the place. Alter
Boggs died I married Skinner. He
was 11 good for nothin’, ornery critter
wot 'ud turn up full, and I’d lam him
till he couldn't see."
She chuckled with quiet auiusemmt
“Well,” said a listener, "the last was
better than the first, at least.”
But the widow shook her bead.
"No. ’tw'an't.” she said, "Id kinder
got used to Boggs’ little ways, and In
Skinner’s case I never cottoned to the
idea of doin’ a maD's work about the
house.”—Exchange.
ALBERT AMY
Painter & Decorator.
AU work
Kings From a Gsr
"That is Saturn you see now." ex
plains tlie astronomer, while the visitor
to the olmervatory peers through tin-
telescope nt the mysterious orb with
Its rings and with Its moons showlag
as little poiuts of light.
"It's away off. isn’t it';" asks tin
visitor.
"Oh. yes. Saturn is so far off that
it requires thirty of our years to make
the circuit around the sun.”
"Thirty years!”
"Yes.”
"My! Saturn must be pretty dose t<
heaven.”
"1 couldn't say as to that."
"I should call it almost heavenly not
to have to buy spring dresses ami lints
for my wife anil daughters not idore
than otice In thirty years.”
For fear the visitor would have
something to say about tlie summer
engagements on Saturn being res p m
sible for the rings, the astionouiet
quickly pointed the telescope toward
Jupiter.—Chicago Post.
SNODGRASS,
E/D
AT THE OLD STAND.
OUR MILLIONAIRES.
American Money
I have some new ami second hand
ladies' anil genl's wheels at a bargain.
Will nut be undersold by Eastern
firms.
Come and see my stock. I am pre
pared to build you any kind of a bike
at short notice.
Bargains never before seer, in Tills
11100k for cash. OI<1 bicycles taken.
Cost no more than others.
Don’t buy until you investigate.
Let us send you our catalogue.
Ask us about the 1910 automobiles—
you won’t regret it.
man Point of View.
Crossed th« Ocean to Supervis« One
Cour«« of a Dinner.
George W. Harvey, the Inventor of
steamed oysters and a famous restau
rant keeper, was once the hero of an
Incident that In some respects mnde
the exploits of Lvcullus and other
noted gourmets of ancient Rome look
cheap and commonplace. He made a
G.OOO mile journey to cook or supervise
the cooking of a single course of a din
ner.
A wealthy Englishman noted for his
love of good living while on a visit to
Washington was given a dinner at
Harvey’s, at which terrapin formed
the piece de resistance. It was the first
time the Englishman had encountered
the famous Maryland delicacy, and it
made an Instantaneous and profound
bit with him. He decided that be
would introduce the dish to bls London
friends and at once entered Into nego
tiations with Harvey to come to Lon
don and do the cooking.
Harvey named hfs price, and It was
accepted without a murmur, although
It was a stiff one. as be was a very
portly man and did not like to travel.
At the appointed time he engaged his
passage for England, took a sufficient
number of live terrapin along with
hlui and sailed for London. He super
vised the preparation of the turtles in
She Makes a Suggestion.
the kitchen of his generous employer,
“How beautiful and clean tlie bori
saw that they were cooked and served
properly, collected his £200 honorarium zon looks.” said Polly as on the second
and his expenses and took the next day out she came up 011 deck and
steamer back to New York.—Exchange. threw herself down In the steamer
chair beside me. .
"Well It ought to be," said I, looking
The New Kind.
Among the passengers In a parlor up from my book. "The captain has
been sweeping It with bis glass for
ear attached to a southern train leav
the past six hours."
ing Washington were a reticent indi
"That reminds me.” said Polly, turn
vidual desirous of reading his paper
ing two very grave brown eyes U|K> ii
and a talkative person equally desirous
me. “Did you remember to bring that
of engaging the reserved one in con
vacuum cleaner along with you. as I
versation. At first the reticent man
took the questions of his neighbor In suggested';"
"No.” said I unwarily. "1 remem
good part, returning short but polite bered to forget It, however. What on
answers. Finally, however, he grew
earth does anybody want with a
somewhat irritated at the persistence
vacuum cleaner at sea?”
of the other.
"It was only for you. dear." said
“Tlie grass is quite green, eh?" was Polly. ”1 thought you would like to
the idle query that next came from the have your brains massaged with It oc
garrulous one as he gazed through the casionally.”—New York Times.
«ludow.
■’Qiiltel" said the bored one. with a
The Minister’« Tools.
smothered growl. "But, then, consider
No workman can do good work with
what a change it is from the pink and out sufficient tools. Books are the
mauve grass we've been having late minister’s tools. He trust have them
ly"'-Harper's Weekly.
if he Is to serve his people well. Yet
Encouraging.
It was Bllkin's wedding day, and he
®as teasing bls young brother-in-law.
"'Veil. Johnnie,” he said solemnly,
’’I’m going to take your sister a long
way off and have her all to myself,
where you won’t see her any more.”
“No; really, are you?" said the lad
curiously.
“Yes, I am. What do you think of
it?"
' Nothin'. I can stand it if you can.”
— Pearson's Weekly.
BROKE IT GENTLY.
The Reason the Brakeman Quit Rail-
roading For Awhile.
Daniiy Wilinarth waa a brakeman
One day while his train was on a side
track at a town In Ohio another train
that was doing some switching on the
wiiue track suddenly Inimpeil into the
caboose on the rear platform of which
Danny was standing, and be was se
ierely bruised. He was taken to a
local hospital, where it was found that
his Injuries were so serious as to tie-
1 cssltate his reiuillulug several wei ks
for treatment. At the end of a month
ho surprisi-d Ills mother at her home
In Pittsburg by walking Into the bous<
on crutches.
Why. Danny." she exclaimed, "what
Is the matter? What bas happened to
you?"
“Why. I wrote and told you. mother.'
tie answered with a grin.
No. son. yon didn't. All you wrote
was that you were going to quit rail
rondlng for awhile, that you had found
something else to do and thill It w,r
an Indoor Job You didn't say a word
'ibont getting hurt or anything of Ilia
kb d “
"I surely did. mother
I (old ym
« list happen, <1 to me."
"You -mely didn't!”
'Hon (t|,| | say I came to be stayin'.'
in that town?"
"You sal,l veu h ippened to be cnugli
there between trains.”
YYell. 1 was."— Youth's Companion
kA
s
IMPERIAL HA IK TONIC.
Thi< preparation saves hair. It
stimulates the hair bulbs, cleans
the scalp of dandruff or eruptions,
and promotes new growth. Try
it now.
Price 50c. and $1.00 a bottle.
CHAS. I. CLOUGH CO.,
Reliable Druggists
and Prescription Experts.
IHB**B* ** * ai
«888888888888888888888888»
* Watch Repairing Tip. ¡ a
^A
»2
SA
\A
$A
iA
<A
kA
It
It ’ ’ s s astonishing,
astonishing how
how tnanv
many fine
fine watches
watches are
are ruined
ruined W
li. A. D. PERKINS,
RESIDENT DENTIST.
Office in Sturgeon’« Building.
All Work Guaianteed.
each year by being placed in the hands of poor and inex- jP
perienced workmen for repairs. A slight oversight on W TILLAMOOK.
OREGON.
their pait often causes an unnoticeable grinding and iA
clicking that will wear out the best movement in a short ^A
MASONIC
LODGE,
time. 1 Why run these chances? Leave your repairing kA
No.
57,
meets
on
third
Satur
in our hands and you will get all loug experience and kA
honesty can give.
day of each month in
EUGENE
... JENKINS,
The Reliable Jeweler
TILLAMOOK CONSTRUCTION CO
kA
SA
1.0 O F. Hall, at 7;¡10 p in.
F rank S kvbranc B, W.M.
E rwin HAHRtsns, Seo.
Cures Backache, Kidney and
Etiquette.
Bladder Trouble.
Io our republican atmosphere old
fashioned etiquette bas ceased to be
If corrects irregularities,
necessary, but the word “etiquette Is
strengthens the kidneys so they
suggested wbenerer one bears tbe
will eliminate the impurities
phrase "that's tbe ticket, for eti
Generous.
from
the blood and tones up
Drifted
Into
It.
Do
their
work
neatly
and
promptly,
see
them
quette"
Is
French
for
“
ticket.
aDd
Its
“What's your fare?” asked old Flint-
“Y’es. I've managed to cot Into debt
the whole system.
skin of his cabby the other day and present English signification sprang
before you build, or phone South 31,
from the old custom of distributing pretty deeply," said Knyrlis«.
was met with the stereotyped reply:
Commence taking Foley’s
"Indeed.” remarked Wise. "I gave
’’Well. sir. I will leave that to you." tickets or etiquettes which
Kidney
Remedy at once and
you
credit
for
more
sense
tban
you
"Thank you; you’re very kind,” said tbe ceremonies, etc., to be observed
svoid Bright’s Disease or Dia-
it anj formal event exactly Uk. our seem to have”
°ld F. buttoning up his pockets and
F. W. BERGER, Gen. Manager.
"H'm! The trouble was that my tai
bctes. 50. and $1.00 bottles.
walking off.
You’re the first person word “program.”
lor gave me credit for more dollars
who ever left me anything yet."—Ixm-
J.
S. Lamar, Tillamook,
than I seem to have." said Kayrllss.—
don Fun
An Alibi.
-lawk & Miller, Bay City
Examiner—What is an alibi? Can Catholic Standard and Times.
ada te For the Bar—An alibi la com
Not at First,
Nothing to Off.r.
"When you first saw Niagara falls mitting a crime Io one place wbe°J°°
"Have you.” asked tbe judge of a re
In another place. if you can be In
did you feci that almost Irresistible
cently convicted man. "anything to of
Impulse to throw yourself over the two other places, the alibi Is
fer the court l-efure sentence Is P«sa-
precipice that so many experience?"
stronger I d law.—Puck.
“No I hadn't seen my hotel bill
0,1 X„, your honor." replied the prison-
When you want a quick cure without
Marriage-
J*1-"—Cleveland Leader.
■ny loss ot time, and one that is followed
“Marriage la • lottery.” quoted U>e er “Sly lawyer took my last farthing.
by no bad .esulta, use
— Ixwdoo Mail.
Quit« Simple.
’Äat'a an anti,.naled Idea.^o^
“What wiU you do with your money
Wii« Poets.
•ben you die?”
M-rved the ,lœple ® |?:_Pt)|lade!pt>l.
••Do poeta ever write poem« In their
I shall leave It to my children.”
It'a a game or
ietterg to their -.«.-et heart.? asked
Prepares young people for bookkeepers, stenographers. correspondents and
' But suppose you have no children T' Record._____________
the aweet young thing.
■Then ft will go to my grandchil
general office work. The development of the Northwest will afford opening* for
••No"
replied
the
near
famous
hard.
It never fail* and is pleasant to take.
The fellow who doesn t allow so
dren
Ill to equally valuable for children. It to
-We re got more sense than to queer thousands in the next few years. Prepare now Send for catalogue.
famous for its cures over a large part ot
the game la that maunet -MLvraukee
the civiltoed world.
Peace is not mere tranquillity, for
W. I. STALEY, Principal,
X
fi.r-Pbl'adelfUa Eccard
Journal.
’r» nqt.ll Uty may be Indifference -Puf-
Bed.
Diarrhoea
Chamberlain’s
Colic, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy
i