T illamook headlight , may
NOT RELIGION.
—e—
YANKEE WIT.
Why They Moved.
The Bingses. mother and daughter,
lad long outstayed their welcome at
their country friend's house. More
over, they evinced no sign of going
away nor did the mother seem to be
in any way affected by the strong
hints to go which the overtaxed hostess
threw out from time to time. Finally,
forbearance exhausted, the entertain
er decided to reach the mother through
her daughter. So oue day, calling the
little visitor to her. sbe said. “Matmie.
p ben do you expect to go home?”
“Oh, I'm sure I don't know,” was
the careless reply. “We've several
other places to stop at yet.”
“Well, when do you go on to the
next place?”
“Can't even tell that. Mamma says
it's immaterial to her Just when she'll
leave here.”
“But, my dear child.” exclaimed the
exasperated hostess, "doesn't your
mother realize bow costly living Is
these days?”
“Oh. yes. sbe knows fow dear It Is
That's why we left the city.”
"Well. Malmle. I cannot afford to en
tertain visitors any longer, and I wish
you'd tell your mother that at once!"
"Is that an Insult?’ rejoined the
child, turning haughtily to the si>eaker
“Why do you ask that child?"
“Because when we’re Insulted we go
on to the next place!"—London Week
1>.
27, 1909.
3 Wfil
■ r
F-
7
DAIRYMEN’ AND
S SUPPLIES 8 g
STEEL STOVES & RANCES. I
HEADQUARTERS for
Lirecla Said Ha Always Admired and
Coveted It.
Alban Jasper Conant, the artist. In
tellLug of bis experience In painting
a portrait of Lincoln said:
“Yankee wit was mentioned at one
of the sittings, and Lincoln said, 'That
is something I always admired and
coveted.’ Some one said. ‘Why, you
certainly have the credit of possessing
It In large measure.' 'No,* said Lin
coln, ‘uot the genuine. I don't remem
ber that 1 ever got credit for It but
once.' Then he told bow, hurrying
once through a courtroom, be was or
dered by the Judge to defend a prison
er accused of assault and battery. A
witness was Just testifying that the
Paint,
Doors.
complainant bad been fought all over
a field. ‘On cross examination,' said
Sashes,
Lincoln. ‘1 asked him, “How large was
that field—twenty acres?” "No." he
replied. "Ten acres?” "No." "Were
there two acres?” 1 persisted. "Yes,
Just about two,” he agreed. “And you
saw him fight this man all over the
field?” pointing to the prisoner. “Yes,
sir.” "Well, sir,” I said, “did you ever
see a fight before that turned out so
little to the acre?” The witness ad
Agents for
Western
mitted. with a grin, that he had not,
dat Liza she goes now.“
there room for both of the Judge smiled, and the Jury snick
ered. So. saying that as this crop was
lì
so poor It did not seem worth further
ain’t"
The
County.
'■ pent-up indignation em- cultivation, I submitted the case.
Some of my friends said it was Yan
pbaaiaad tbe answer.
Unanswerable.
“’Cause. Miss Mary, dat Liza she kee wit, but that was the only time I
VA’A
“Vicious circle” Is a term often used
jet* goes ter spite me. No sooner 1 ever got credit for It. 1 wish I had
In the medical world. An example of
gits up to go to de mo’ners’ bench dan It.’ ’’—McClure’s Magazine.
its psychological use applied to argu
Ltsa aha toilers me and sets down
ORIGINAL
ment may be found in Joseph A. Sco
dost beside me, and befo’ I lias a
HIS
VOCABULARY.
ville's
book,
“
Old
Merchants
of
New
cbanat ter git 'llglou Liza she begins
LAXATIVE
ter girate «round and shout ‘Glory hal It Was Real Literary, According to the York City.”
Tom,
the
son
of
a
wealthy
man.
was
leluiah? and she out wid her fists and
and
Wily Stenographer.
a great favorite with all who knew
hits me him In de Jaw. and she out
The beautiful typewriter girl puffed hlm, but he heartily detested business.
Cures
La
Asthma,
in the
wid hea Stootses and kicks me spang out her golden pompadour nervously,
in he shin. But. I tell you, ’taln’t ’llg- says the Philadelphia Bulletin. “My A merchant of New York bad hired
Lung Troubles. Prevents Pneumonia
Consumption YELI.OW PACKAGE
him
as
a
bookkeeper
at
n
high
salary
lon Lisa's got. Miss Mary; hit's debll-
speed 'll increase. Mr. Meer—excuse Nevertheless Tom got Into tile habit
S. Lamar, Tillamook,
Hawk & Miller,
City
try.”—New York Times.
me, Wellington—my speed '11 Increase of reaching the office later and later,
30 to 40 per cent every day.”
r
until finally he got there about 2 In
I
Broker Wellington frowned.
The the afternoon. When this state of af
MONTAGNAIS INDIANS.
I
girl had taken bls dictation slowly. fairs bad gone on for a week, the mer
Tlwy Are Hunters In ths Strictest And In a stern, skeptical voice be said, chant remonstrated.
“How so?”
toenso of the Word.
“But. my dear sir,” returned Tom,
"It's your new vocabulary that puts “bow can I come any earlier? I don’t
During nine months of the year—
toll, winter and spring—the Monta- me out.” sbe explained. "I had Mr. get my breakfast until 1."
"But get your breakfast earlier.”
gnala Indians of Canada spend their Meer’s vocabulary very pat—‘as per.’
“How can I? I don't get up till 12.”
Uvea to the "bush,” hunting and trap ‘contents noted.’ ’the same’—he only
“Then get up earlier."
ping for pelts and meats. Then In used about 300 words.” Her flatter
“How can I,’.’ pleaded Tom. “when
Jun. they rendezvous at the particular ing smile warmed the man like a sun
Hudson Bay company post where they beam. "But you, sir, have a real lit I don’t go to bed until daylight?"
In the face of such convincing argu
belong, trade off their hunt and settle erary style. ‘Beg to submit,’ ‘our best
down for rest aud recreation until the attention,' ‘slump,’ ‘bullish,’ ‘hypothe ment there was nothing to be said.
middle of August, when they are off cate’—they're all new words to me,
again for the «Inter They liaveal.so and of course 1 can't rattle them off
The Drill In the Pearl.
MMvSathlng to do with the cultiva very fast at first. But Just you wait,
The pale, bent workmen were, most
say,
till
day
after
tomorrow.
Then
tion Of the soil, being hunters in the
of them, drilling costly pearls, but
““k aense of the word. The In- you'll see.”
here a man in kid gloves performed
"All business men have different vo
ho hunt about Lake Mistassini
the operation of skinning—the opera
•ubtrlbe by themselves, hav- cabularies that their stenographers tion of removing a pearl's outer, dis
aame name as the lake, and must get accustomed to, eb?” said the colored coat, so as to give it again Its
■tmer rendezvous is at the broker.
original luster. And by the window
“Yes, sir; some large, some small.” another man shook Industriously three
I Bay company post on the
Again
her
smile
flattered
him.
"Yours
lose wbo bunt south of Mls-
pearls in a bottle.
An the shores and tributaries Is larger than most. I Bbould say it
“It Is a secret of the trade—of the
was
thirty
or
forty
words
larger.
Real
‘‘Ashuapmoncbouan river bear
pearl driller’s trade.” be said—“this
literary,
I
call
it
”
tot of that stream. Those on
bottle shaking. You see. In pearl drill
"Miss Hoskins, If there's—er—any ing a drill point often breaks off In a
knnba river bear Its name, and
supplies
you
need
all
you
’
ve
got
to
do
Ko hunt nearer Lake St. John
pearl, and to get it out may take a
Am by the Indian name of that Is ask,” said the literary broker fatu whole day's work—that Is. If you don’t
Ukonagaml. AU of these bands ously.
know the secret.”
rendonvous on the west shore of Lake
He looked closely at the bottom of
Early Psychotherapy.
Bt.Joba, at Pointe Bleue, where the
the glass bottle, and then, continuing
In
the
Epistle
of
James
we
find
the
bls shaking, he resumed: “But If you
government has set aside a reserve
and attempted to colonize the hunters early Christian rule of psychotherapy. put your pearl In a bottle aud shake
It was adopted by the early church it up the drill point In a few minutes
■ad tench them to become farmers.
East of Lake St. John Is the Chleoutl- and for many centuries was a rule of will fall out of Itself. Look! There's
■d totoad, now much reduced, and faith and practice in the Christian another out already. The third will
tototot of them the Tadousac band, church In all Its branches. It is still come soon now.”—Exchange.
of which are to be found dlstrib- a rule of conduct in some of the older
churches, and some leaders In church
the French Canadian dls-
Lunar Rainbows.
es where the rule has lapsed begin to
:he same names. There are
Lunar rainbows are seldom ob
her bands farther down to- plead for its revival and for the as served In the temperate zone. Very
sumption by the church of what are
gulf of St. Lawrence.—South
called Its legitimate powers. St. James likely the physical phenomenon occurs
ern.
said: “Is any sick among you, let him frequently, but Is invisible because of
call for the elders of the church, and the faintness of the moon’s light. In
Bridled Brides.
let them pray over him, anointing him the tropics, where moonlight is more
brides have an easier time with oil In the name of the Lord. And Intense, says the Scientific American,
Abyssinian sisters. On the the prayer of faith shall save the sick, lunar rainbows are more frequently
of her marriage an Abys-
and the Lord shall raise him up. and observed. They are by no means rare
de has to change her skin, if he have committed sins they shall at Reunion island. At all places the
uy she has to become cafe be forgiven him.”—Christian Register. phenomenon la moat frequently seen
To accomplish this the ex
at full moon when the moon's light is
bride Is shut up In a room for
highest, but It has been seen in various
A
Sad
Casa.
tonths. She is covered with
phases of the moon. It was first ob
An
Atchison
man
has
lain
in
an
un
Ruff, with the exception of her
served by Aristotle. A lunar rainbow
conscious
state
ever
since
10
o
’
clock
ben they burn certain green
is produced at full moon by the spray
grant branches. The fumes last night. Everything has been done of the great Victoria falls of the Yguaa-
to
arouse
him
today,
but
all
efforts
are
bey produce destroy the ortgi-
su In BrazlL
U and In Its place comes the unavailing. His friends are greatly
alarmed.
They
fear
he
may
never
re
n. soft and clear as a baby's,
The Dot Over th* “i.”
lers of the family feed the gain consciousness. It seemed that
The small letter "1” was formerly
woman with nutritive force- yesterday evening right after dinner written without the dot The dot was
the man picked up bls hat, put on bls
ills.—Cape Colony Argus.
overcoat and. although bis wife was Introduced in the fourteenth century
sitting right in the room, she did not to distinguish “1” from ”’e” In hasty
Dangerous Eggs,
and Indistinct writing. The letter “I”
tain well known actor Is al- say, "Where are you going?” He was originally used where the letter
mdy to assert that there are walked out of the house. At 10 o’clock “J” is now employed. The distinction
■toward possibilities In his pro- in the evening the man returned. He between “1” and “J” was introduced by
"Really the public doesn't walked into the room where his wife the Dutch printers at a comparatively
ite the vicissitudes of an ac sat and took off bls hat and overcoat recent date, and the “J" was dotted
ts,” be said recently. "Now, Sbe smiled at him pleasantly and did because the “L" from which it was de
as Wisbam Brown, who went not say. “Where have yon been?’ The rived, was written with a doL
In South Africa. I met Wish- man fell unconscious to the floor.—
main recently. ’Well, how is Atchison Globe.
Blue Laws.
Mid I. ‘Wish?’ said the cotu-
The name “blue laws” was given to
African Elephants.
hy, man, Wlsbam’s dead?
In portions of Africa the natives be the first collection of laws framed for
1 cried. 'How did be die?
the government of the New Haven
to death with eggs at Cape lieve when a herd of elephants Is colony. They were published In col
the cousin answered. 'But eggs alarmed and runs awsy the bulls, if
lective form in 1850. the volume being
,' said I. He smiled sadly necessary, pick up and carry on their
tusks the little ones which may not be In a blue cover, which gave rise to the
lured, 'Ostrich eggs do.’ ”
able to keep up with the herd. Tbeee name that has clung to the laws ever
little ones when first born weigh not since.
Financial.
more than 200 pounds and of course
r. bow big must I grow to be
Hee Chance.
might readily be carried, as stated.
L like uncle?' asked the small
“Do you.” Mid the notary, “swear
We do n<ft know that any white man
has ever seen this, but the natives in that you will tell the truth, the whole
very much," said bls father,
sist that It ts done.—Forest snd Stream. truth and”—
have often seen In the papers
“Oh. bow lovely F the fair witness
ashlers are abort." — Spokane
interrupted. “Shall 1 really be allowed
During tbe peat 86 years no rem
The
Similarity.
man-Revlew.
edy has proven more prompt or
Blobbs—Why do you liken Harduppe to talk all afternoon If I want to?”
more effectual In Ita cures of
OPPOSITE THE ALLEN HOUSE.
to the busy bee? lie Isn't particularly
UaelsSS.
Short «nd Ugly For Him.
Industrious,
is
be?
Slobbe
—
Oh,
no;
It
Colds
Croup
murmured a fashionable
-ito: »>.” Mid Plodding Pete, “1
Ban, sinking on one knee, "for Isn't that, but needy every one be would not stop another minute to talk
than Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. In
touches gets stung -Philadelphia Bee
Irtbday gift I offer—myself."
to dem folks. Dey passed me out a SPECIALTY IN ALL KINO OF CAKES. many homes It la relied upon as Im
ak you,” was the cold reply, ord.
plicitly as the family physician. It con
short an’ ugly word.”
tains no opium or other narcotic, and
only accept useful presents?’—
ALL KINO OF BREAD.
“
What
was
itf
Often the Caos.
maybe gi ven as confidently to a baby
rtpbla Inquirer.
“
'Work.
’
"
—
Washington
Star.
“My wife believes that what Is to be
as to an adult. Frloe J6c; large alas OOo
is contagious, and whatever will be.”
Hope la a flatterer, bvt tbe moot up
“Weiir
us think or feel strongly adds
“And she hellevee it wlU aU be my right of ail parasites, for sbe frequents
power and enlarges our field oi
tbe poor man's hut as well as the pal
fault.”-Kausas City Journal.
1
Owea OaUai Pravaata Paaanocla |
Hake a Kidney« and BiMktor ftlf hi
ace of bls superiors.—Sbenstona.
■«•thing Vary Different That
I Animated Elisa.
of New Orleans has for
IS beeu faithfully served by
• women who, although
the tie of common devotion
■tress, yet detest each other
■o that the kitchen is the
fntinuous battle.
the cook, Is a leading light
»rch. At revival meetings
Irays the first to occupy the
bench, the first to shout
t!” and to fall into those
I of body and outfllnglng of
that to the African mean “get-
ton." Eliza, the maid of all
toe other hand, had always
«generate heathen, scoffing
Jeering at Martha and de
power on earth could In
to go inside a church. Great,
,was Mrs. S.’s surprise on the
of the last revival to find
ts Eliza and not Martha who
Idlng the meetings.
Martha,’’ she exclaimed,
going to church?’
aswered Martha sullenly.
1
We carry a Large Stock of
Hardware, Tinware, Glass
and China,
Window
Varnish,
Oils,
Fine Line of Choice
GROCERIES
Saw.
the Great
ALEX. McNAIR CO.
Most
Reliable Merchants in Tillamook
THE
HONEY
Coughs, Colds, Croup,
and
TAR
Throat
Grippe,
and
J.
and
Bay
Red Front Shoe Store
Has received a fine assortment of
Summer foot wear, consisting of Men’s,
Woman’s, Misses’ and Children Shoes.
We believe in selling honest
goods at fair prices.
Our Stock is fresh.
All Goods sold by me is warranted.
No charge made for sewing rips
on Shoes purchased of me.
Please call and examine my goods
and prices before purchasing elsewhere.
F.
BROWNE,
Salesman.
FARMERS
READ THE
WEEKLY OREGONIAN
OF PORTLAND
For the general news of the
World also for 1 formation about
how io obtain ¿fie best results
in cultivating the .soil, Stock
Raising, Fruit Growing etc.
You can secure this excellent
paper by
Susbcribing for the Headlight.
Both Papers for $2.25.
s. VIERECK,
Tillamook Bakery.
Chamberlain’s
Cough Remedy
Coughs.
and
lOTinHWreWAR FOimKlDNTYCnRE
J