T illamook headlight ,
AL SERVANTS.
may 6, 1909
A Methodise! Being.
Complied With the Law.
A man of method who attended to
A certain well kuown Mobile lawyer,
ability of the Indispcnsabl, everything on schedule time, whether who was lame and had something of
j it was wurk or recreation, had the a reputation as a fighter, was at one
“Boy" In India.
days of loud wailing about fortune to fall in love when be had time attorney In a suit that caused
My domestic, exorbitant passed tbe age of forty. Tbe mistress much 111 feeling. He won the suit fur
small returns it is socth- of bis heart put up with bls oddities. bls client, and the loser vowed venge
He had regular nights for celling upon ance. "In pursuance of that same,” in
_ -1 tbe efficiency and submis- her, regular hours for comiug aud the language of Truthful James, he
servlce of the oriental servant
going, regular theater and club nights, one day went into the lawyer's office
India the Indispensable "boy" etc. In fact, she looked upon his regu and subjected him to a tirade of abuse
evaryi
’boy” being a ge larity as something admirable.
that would have caused a salt water
neric name regardless of age or native
Things bad been going on in this captain to die from pure envy, such
dignity— mcelvt-7 In remuneration tbe way for two years, and finally tbe was his talent in vituperation.
Tbe lawyer answered him nothing,
equivalent of <12 lo «14 a month nt great crisis came. They were to be
the moat He buys your railroad tick married. Tbe day was fixed, tbe wed to tbe surprise of two or three men
ets. checks your I tggage, settles the ding clothes were made, tbe guests in who were present, but. getting out of
bls chair, began to bobble backward.
clamors of, luggage coolies, gives your vited. aud tbe minister was engaged.
At the appointed time they were all His enemy, thinking be was retreat
tip« and^ahoos away the hordes of
II
beggars. telegraphs to hotels for your assembled. The bride was dressed, tbe ing. followed him up, with more abuse
J
Oils, Paint, Varnish, Doors, Window
rooms and' takes care of them when wedding presents were displayed, but and threatening gestures. The law
you get there, makes the bed. brings tbe bridegroom came uot. Tbe bride yer's foot finally struck against the
Sashes,
the afternoon tea, stands behind your wept and fainted, but it did uo good. wall, when he suddenly straightened
chair at table and serves you. brings Finally some friends of the delinquent up aud, saying ‘Gentlemen, I call on «.
your account when you leave and groom hurried away to see if he conld you to witness that on account of this
wrangles fcr you over Its Inevitable be found. He could. He was at borne wall 1 have retreated as far as possi
E E
extortions.
in bls room, rcadiug as unconcernedly ble’ (tbe geueral law of homicide),
it
At the dak bungalows he forages as If he had never contemplated get drew out a Derringer and shot his op-
--
poneut.
for your ■peals and. If necessary, ting married.
«Î
At the triul be was acquitted, bis
cooks them. He produces washmen.
"What is the matter? Why don’t
sawing men and all sorts of dealers In you come to your wedding?” shouted witnesses being tbe men present at
the time of the killing, who testified to
•
everything on demand. He makes up bls friends.
Agents for the Great Western Saw
your bed on sleeping cars and replen
The man of regular habits laid down tbe lawyer's having retreated as far
as possible.
ishes your. supply of Ice and soda his book.
He runs ' your errands, deans your
"I am very sorry,” be said, "but this
E
boots and hats, darns your stockings Is my regular day for staylug at home
With Interest.
The Most Reliable Merchants in Tillamook County
and mends your clothes.
and reading. I forgot It when I made
“Yes. I know that certain passeu
When you walk abroad, he attends | tbe engagement. The wedding trill gers object to tipping on principle; but.
Pò Pò Rj -,
i’Si Si
■JJ
v
you and directs you to the bazaars have to be postponed.”—London Tlt- speaking fcr myself, 1 believe In it,”
where you will be robbed least, recelv Bits.
remarked a ruddy faced old man in
lng bls commission later from an ap
the corner of a third class smoker. "It
preefative proprietor.
Is only right to reward courtesy, and 1
THE ORIGINAL
His Best.
1
For every rupee iutrusted to him
The late Sir John Stainer, one of always make it a point of giving the
for general ^expenditure he renders an England's most celebrated musicians guard of this train sixpence when be I
LAXATIVE
account, and though lie doubtless robs and composers, was once staying In a comes to see If I’m all right, although
you gently he does not let others do it small Swiss village, and tbe English I’m only u poor man."
HONEY and TAR
The other passengers, uot to be out
(and tt Is distinctly advantageous to clergyman was on tbe outlook for a
|
Cures
Coughs,
Colds,
Croup,
La
Grippe,
Asthma,
Throat
in the
be robbed by one person rather than a musician to assist at tbe service. done, thereupon dived Into their pock
L and Lung Troubles. Prevents Pneumonia and Consumption YELLOW PACKAGE
score).
Stainer was In the office of the hotel ets. and when the guard popped his
He is silent and noiseless, salaams when the clergyman found him and bend inside the door a few minutes
J. S. Lamar, Tillamook, and Hawk & Miller, Bay City.
whenever you speak to htrn ai d never started the conversation with "Do you later he found himself orerwhelmea
enters your presence with bls shoes play the harmonium?”
with sllrcr coins.
An hour passed, and the passengers
on or his turban off.
“A little.” was the reply of the for
got cut one by one until tbe old man
And finally, his multifarious day mer organist of St. Paul's cathedral.
ended, hetwraps himself In his shawl
"Will you, then, be good enough to was left facing a spruce commercial
and " sleeps across
ac
your threshold.—New help us out of our difficulty on Sunday ? traveler, who leaned toward him con
York Tribune
We will read the Psalms, and the fidentially and asked him how be could
hymns shall be the simplest I can se afford to give the guard sixpence ev
ery time he took a journey.
lect,” added the delighted parson.
SAW THE GHOST,
“Oh, don’t worry yourself about
“I will do my best,” said Stainer.
that,” responded the old man. “I dare
with
a
smile.
A Story That Stood the Test of s
The service proceeded satisfactorily, say 1 shall get It Lack with interest.”
Court of Law.
“How will you?”
but tbe congregation at the close 11s-
As a Ctoeunistantlnl ghost story and tened to a brilliant recital. When tbe
“The guard is a son of mine!”—Lon
one that Stood tbe cold scrutiny of a parson heard the name of his assist don Globe.
court Of law Booty's case Is without a ant he asked him to dinner. “Do you
parallel. The date given Is 1G88. when smoke?” he asked at tbe close.
Couldn't Fool Him.
Mrs. Booty brought an action for slan
A Morris Hirer oysterman attended
"I will do my best,” responded Stain
der against’ one Captain Barnaby for er, and the ensuing laughter was the a baud contest one winter night In
what he had said of tier kite busband. prologue of an entertaining exchange Morris River. The contestants blew
According to an extract from a jour of Oxford reminiscences.
into their great horns as if to burst
nal produced l:i -’oiirt. dated I'lulny.
their lungs. Tbe drummers banged
May 15. 1687. the captain on that day
their drums with might and main
When
Boston
Shuddered.
went ashore with a large party of
Cheeks were red and round like ap
“
The
superior
intelligence
of
Boston
friends toijiboot rabbits upon Strombo
pies. Eyes almost started from their
IL tbe Island off Italy, which, from its continues to excite the envy of her sis sockets.
The oysterman enjoyed it
ter
cities,
”
recently
observed
a
promi
ever burning crater, is called “the
all. But bis atteution was distracted
nent
Bostonian,
“
and
1
propose
to
add
lighthouse of the Mediterranean.” At
by a deaf old gentlemau who In the
about
a the afternoon two men fuel to the flame by citing the newest pianissimo passages put a large silver
were
nnlng toward the volcano, Instance thereof. A little boy In the ear trumpet to his ear. Whenever he
which was emitting (lames. Captain Back Bay district, at whose house oc did this the oysterman sneered. And
Barnaby then exclaimed. “Lord bless cur many meetings of a certain liter at last bis honest hatred of anything
me, the foremost Is old Booty, my ary club, was asked not long ago by a approaching sham overcame the man's
next dpor. neighbor.” They then van returned Bostonian what hud become reserve, lie elbowed bls way to the
ished in the flames, a fact of which of a family named Deering.
“ 'Tbe Deerlngs?' said the boy. ‘Oh. deaf old gentleman and said:
every one present took note.
‘‘Look here; that don't go here. Er
they
’re not asked here any more.
Upon Captain Barnaby's return to
erybody knows you can't play that
They
’
re
no
longer
on
mother's
list.
’
England he learned that ’old Booty"
“‘No longer ou the list? What's the with your ear. I’ut It away, mister.
had died Just about tbe time of the
You can't fool us.”—Los Augeles Times
strange ohcurta-me at Stromboli. lie matter?’
‘‘‘Why, haven’t you heard? Drusilla
then mads tbe remark which was the
Toys of Revolution Time«.
subject of the action, that he “had Deering sent a sonnet to tbe Atlantic
The toys of the French revolution
that
contained
twenty
lines!
’
’
’
—
Lip
seen old-Booty running into the flames
period were characteristic of that ter
of bell pursued by tbe devil.” Mrs. pincott's.
rlble time. There are tops w hose
Booty claimed £1.000 as damages, and
shadows cast the profile portraits of
Making
•
Bolt
For
It.
the case came on In tbe king's bench
Louis XVI. and Marie Antoinette
Tbe monotony of crime In tbe po
before the chief Justice. Sir Robert
These are turned in boxwood and are
Wright. For tbe defense. In addition lice stations is relieved oftener than indeed interesting reminiscences of
to tbe testimony of Captain Barnaby is generally supposed by an Infusion toys with the Impress of history. The
^Hlends, old Booty's clothes of unexpected humor. This happy fac children of the revolution had their
Ugbt into court and identified ulty of tickling tbe magistrate's sense tiny Phrygian caps and danced the
y witnesses as being similar of burnor won a prisoner in a police horrible carmagnoles In their play
•Worn by the foremost man station bis liberty tbe other day.
Little models of the guillotine were
The prisoner had told tbe magistrate made to "work.” and the bodieB of
■Into the crater—even to the
j KL t J
■Sstt- n-- on
'IL-' that he was a locksmith by trade, and pigs with heads of Louis XVI. were
so Impressed by this evl- tbe magistrate asked:
decapitated. Models of the Bastille
"Well, were you on business in this were popular. Playing cards with fig
he said: "Lord have mercy
grant that I may never gambling bouse at 2 o'clock in tbe ures of revolutionary heroes were
have seen. One, two or morning?”
made when kings, queens and aristo
“Yes, your honor," replied the pris cratic knaves were taboo.—prom "Toys
mistaken, but not thlr-
»
Booty's widow lost the oner calmly. “I was making a bolt for of Other Days,” by Mrs. F. Nevlll
I
'S'
case remains, perhaps, as the door.”
Jackson.
Judicially accepted ghost
c
When Comets Terrified.
cord.—London Chronicle.
Dickens* Full N«m«.
To Evelyn a comet was a very ter-
Charles Dickens was christened
rifying phenomenon. He notes tbe ap Charles John Iluffam, or Huffham.
lund In the Air.
in the Strand Magazine de pearance of one on Jan. 12, 1680, as it is erroneously entered in the par
I-
astonishment he experl- which he describes in bis diary aa "a ish register. But when be became fa
' I
rlding orer London In a meteor of an obscure bright color, mous he dropped the last two Chrls-
height of more than half very much in shape like the blade of tian names, as he deslred to be known
>ard the deafening roar of a sword.” "What this may portend,” as plain Charles Dickens, a wish re-
y beneath him as It could he adds, "God only knows, but such spected on bls tombstone in Westmin
when on the ground. The another phenomenon I remember to ster abbey, by bls biographer and
at that height, was so have seen In 1640 about the triall of friend John Fcrster and by tbe ecru
t
itense as to be painful to the greate earle of Strafford, preced pulously accurate Dictionary of Na
ing
our
bioudy
rebellion.
I
pray
God
tional Biography.
ow perfect a sound con
lr Is was shown when the avert bis judgements.”
ed far orer the city to a
Opinion of an Act res«.
March«« and March««.
of the country, where the
Miss Ellen Terry at a reception once
A schoolteacher In a small town «aw talked about tbe Innumerable women
the leares mored by the
I
mile below, was dlstlnct- some of George Eliot’s works display who ask her to help them get on the
ed in tbe window of tbe “general stage. “The fact is," she said, "every
store" and went in to inquire if they woman under thirty believes she Is an
had "Mlddlemarch.”
eful For Others.
actress. “And every actress.” «be add
“No, we haven't that.” said the red ed, “believes she Is under thirty.”
tbe candid kleptomaniac;
arrested for pilfering 1 cheeked girl who served as clerk, “but
my real name. It would we have lots of others. Will one of
Anxious.
Sousa's do?"
too many people.”
One day small -Elmer observed five
And what is your name?”
funerals pass the bouse. After the
i magistrate.
Considerate-
last one bad passed he said. "Mamma,
Ith."—Philadelphia Ledger.
Mr. de Club—My dear, a great Ger If we don’t hurry up and die heaven
WATERPROOF \
man physician says women require will be so crowded we can't get in.”—
V
more sleep than men. Mrs. de C.—Does Exchange.
ilp of th« Old Black.
OILED
CLOTHING
Dudnc
the
past
36
year«
no
rem
sk- Owen Moore's »on was he? Mr. de C.—Yes. My dear—um—
looks'belter-weart longer -
edy baa proven more prompt or
Considerate.
er—you’d better not wait up for me
today.
and gives more k
OPPOSITE THE ALLEN HOUSE.
more effectual In lta cure« of
“The most considerate wife I evei
bodily comfort
]
led! Doesn't be remind tonight
§
& to s to totoB toto M lU M0HHH to &to to&te’fc to
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«
” KF
p
FARMERS
READ THE
7.F
WEEKLY OREGONIAN
OF PORTLAND
)
For the general news of the
World also for information about
how to obtain the best results
in cultivating the soil. Stock
Raising, Frmt Growing etc.
You can secure this excellent
paper by
Susbcribing for the Headlight.
Both Papers for $2.25.
Chamberlain’s
Cough Remedy
s. VIERECK,
Tillamook Bakery,
ther?
b. He wanted to borrow
i Statesman.
lieulsr Points,
touch out tbe wrinkle« In
* asked th« photographer,
ni. answered tbe elder
d also those. If there be
trousers."—Kansas City
heard of.” said tbe philosopher, “was
'
t
a woman who used to date all ber let
No Mystery This Tima.
Mr. Popp—By gosb. for once tn ■>/ ters a week or so ahead to allow her SPECIALTY IN ALL KIND OF CAKES,
life 1 know where my cuff links are. husband time to post them.”
ALL KINO OF BREAD.
Mrs. P.—Where are they now? Mr. P.
A Hazy Term Defined.
I —The baby's swallowed'em I—Cleveland
Leader.
Miss Fondert—Jack. what do they
mean when they speak of a first water
It >n all right to rote for the coun diamond? Jack—One that—urn—er—
try's prosperity, but you must work one fresh from the mine—never been
for ycor own.—Air bison Globe.
soaked, you know.
Make« KMasys and Bladder Right
|
Coughs. Colds and Croup
i than Chamberlain’« Cough Remedy. In i
many homes It Is relied upon as lm-
pllcltly as the family physician. It con
tains no opium or other narcotic, and
may be given an confidently to a baby
aa to an adult. Fries 36c; large else 6Oc
FOŒTSKIDNTYCÜKF FOLEYSHONEWAR,
Cures Oeldsi Prevents Pneumonia
TOWER’S FISH
because cut on -
large patterns yel
coils no more than
the just os good kinds
SUIT5‘3Q9 kKK[R5‘JQ9
SOLO CVteVWHtRt
*>• tn* ! 4**"
iaKrproOl
A J VOvt/fM ro SOS’ON u **
U’iUM P«C<
_