TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, NOVEMBER 26, 1008. LIES ABOUT THE FEET. A Shoe Clark's Comment, on Hi. Cut- tomor.* Peculiarities. i I “1 don't Bee why people always lie ■bout their feet." Bald the shoe clerk as bls customer departed after giving him ■ bad half hour. "! don't mean on the size of their foot, for It's only natural to wish to have, or, rather, to make other people think you have, small feet. But why a great, burly man with his feet nubby with bunions should Insist that his shoes never trouble hln> and that be never has any trouble in get­ ting a fit Is beyond me. Why. If I put an ordinary shoe on such a man he would cusa with pain, and be know» It He knows also that I have to bunt around until I find some freak shoe that will fit bls misshapen old foot, but all the time he declares that he never has bunions or corns like most people Women who seem to be sensible enough In all other ways come In here and declare that they do not know what a corn Is, when they wince with pain every time I touch their little toe When they are forced to declare that the shoe hurts In one spot or another they insist it Is because their feet have a shape peculiarly their own. Some times they will admit they have a ‘lit tie calloused place.' but a corn. oh. dear no! Sometimes In a thin, lightweight shoe 1 csn fairly see the corns bunch Ing out under the leather, but I have to say diplomatically that the fit la ‘not good,’ or that the customer has a 'pe­ culiarly sensitive foot,’ or some other nonsense. If I want to keep their trade.”—New York Press. FUMPKIN FIE. Praia» For This Culinary Triumph and Gastronomic Delight. American literature Is replete with the praise of pie. and Harriet Beecher Stowe says. "The pie Is an English Institution, which, planted In Amer lean soil, forthwith ran rampant and burst forth Into Hn untold variety of genera and species." The average American echoes, "Let It run." He has the same desire that possessed Simple Simon of Mother Goose fame when he met the pie man. But Moth er Goose flourished before the pie reached the acme of Its glory. The most famous pie of which she wrote was a meat pie. for she said: flinc » song of sixpence, pocket full of rye; Four and twenty blackbird, baked tn a pie When the pie was opened the bird, began to .Ing. Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before a king? A pie containing live blackbirds sounds like a fairy tale, but It Is not. as a Venetian publisher of a cookbook printed in 15119 gave a recipe for mak­ ing pies “that the birds may be alive In them and fly out when It Is cut up." The gay revelers who sat down before ■uch a dish may have thought that the very pinnacle of culinary art had been obtained, hut the pumpkin affords gas tronomlc delights to every American citizen beside which blackbird pies, ortolan pies, lombard plea or battalia pies are and of right ought to be back numbers.—Washington Star. A Tart Retort. A good story Is told of a prominent society woman at Newport whose name cannot for obvious reasons be given here. It appears that an extremely wealthy matron who has not always enjoyed ner present social pre-eminence was making certain supercilious references as to a young girl who bad been pre­ sented by the lady first mentioned. "By the way." languidly asked the wealthy matron, "who la your friend Miss Blank?" "Miss Blank Is a charming girl," was the smiling response, “well bred, as you see. accomplished, entertaining." “Oh. yea, of course.” continued the other, “but. my dear Mrs. So-and-so, you know what I mean—who la she?" "My dear woman." retorted the first lady. "I can no more tell you who Miss Blank Is than I could have Informed those who asked me who you were when you first came to Newport.”— St. Paul Pioneer Press. Pompeii and Herculaneum. Pompeii was burled In ashes and was easily disinterred, while Herculaneum received the full force of the crimson lava, which hardened rapidly to the consistency of marble and must be quarried In order to reach the city be­ neath. Owing to this difficulty only a small amount of excavating has been dons In Herculaneum as compared with that which has taken place at Pompeii. In addition, another town sprang up on the lava above Hercu­ laneum. which would have been en­ dangered by the undermining neces­ sary to exploration with pick and shovel.—New York American. About Duo. A country woman residing near the town of Sligo, thinking her husband was rather late tn coming home on Saturday with hla pay. went to the police office to Inquire If ho was there. "Is Pat here?" she asked. "No." replied the constable, "but sit down. We're expecting him every min­ ute. *—London Opinion. Hire on Expert. It you want A thing well dona, don't do It yourself In spit» of what the "proverb says. If you really want It well done hire en expert. If you try to do It youreelf you are pretty aura to botch It.— 8omervllle Journal. Exquisite Harmony. Piper The verra poet mucic I never heard whatever wee doun el Jamie Maclanchlan a There wave fufteen o’ un pipera In the wee back parlor, all playin' different chunee. I thoebt I was floatin' In heevon.-Punch. Penis of Our Dwetnng Houses. The scholars in one of the Fuchow Chinese schools were recently desired to write au essay In English on the subject of “Which Are the Healthier, Chinese or Foreign Dwelling Houses?" One young man “spook” about the matter with hla “friends," and they said that the “Chinese building is much better than foreigners." This, he adds, was the "senses of their de­ bate:” “The foreign building Is too heigh and coverless and always built on the top of the hill. In the summer time It receives the moat heat from the sun. The people who living In It Is the same as putting In the stove, but In winter It is fully filled by the sharp air which cut the faces of whom living In It. So that the foreigner is competed to put themselves on Are. The fire would do our bodies harm. As we were prepared our dinner; we put the beef on the Are by and by the beef dry in that case the of course man would dry too.”—London Telegraph. KNEW HIS BUSINESS. Why the Colored Cook Remained Be­ low During the Blow. The Eyes of th« Camel. One of the camels—the seven were h Ing JUB| beyond the circle of fire­ light - rose complaining. Mustafa’» Ahmed slipped away upon hls duty. Presently 1 heard hl» guttural cawing to get the camel agaiu to regt, but the beast would not down »nd tnu»t be beaten, the boy meanwhile mouthing great curses. 1 wondered that a being so small should without peril to him­ self strike a creature like this with hls fist, contlutilng all the time within reach of teeth and hoofs. "1 will tell the khawaja,” replied Mustafa, “a most curious aud Interest­ ing thing about this." Ahmed had mastered the camel and now came to hls place. “The khawaja has observed,” Musta­ fa continued, "that a child may beat ' and command a camel. It is not be­ cause the camel is stupid nor yet be­ cause he 1» timid; it Is because of a wise provision whereby God suited him to the weakness of men. The camel's eyes are like magnifying glnsses and Increase the stature of hls master seven times, wherefore he is obedient to the gigantic appearing creature." In Damascus, too. 1 beard this super­ stition.—Norman Duncan In Harper's Magazine. OUR EARLY STATESMEN. Monroe's Expansion Views and Madi­ son's Population Guess. Some of our early statesmen were A story Is told of a well known unis- not expansionists. Washington was teur yachtsman who was one uigbt opiKWeti to assuming the ownership of anchored near a rocky mid dangerous the Mississippi river, and James Mou- shore. Suddenly. Just la-fore dinner, a roe when a member of the Virginia stiff Inshore wind started ii|> The au convention tn 1788 argued against the chor began to drag Another was rap­ adoption of the federal constitution for idly thrown overboard, but in the In­ geographical reasons. “Consider.” he creasing squall that. too. failed to hold »aid, "the territory lying between the The schooner seemed in Imminent dau- Atlantic ocean and the Mississippi ger of drifting on the rocks, but at last Its extent far exceeds that of the another anchor gripped, and the dan German empire. It Is Inrger than any ger was past territory that ever was under any one The yachtsman. nearly exhausted free government. It Is too extensive from his efforts, dropped <>u the deck to be governed but by a despotic mon to recover hls breath mid rest lu the archy.” And this from the man who quiet that followed there came to hi. thirty years later was elected president ears the clic k-clicks lilck-cli'. k-i l lck <»• of the United States extended far lie a busily manipulated spoon against a yond the Mississippi and who became ts>w I the author of the “Monroe doctrine.” He listened for a moment and the.-: A year after the adaption of the con went below. The cook was preparing stltutlon James Madison thought he salad diesslng. was making a bold guess when he “Why. Sam." he exclaimed In listen estimated that the population of the Ishment. "didn't you know that we country might, "In some years,” dou Walt Whitman's Pride. nearly «ent ashore?" ble In numlier and reach 6.000.000. He Whitman's grandmother was a "Oh. yiissir. yiisslr." came the undis­ lived to see far beyond that. Yet II Quaker, and the bard had been all his turbed reply "1 thought she was goi Is true that for a number of years the life used, Quaker fashion, to sitting in on de rocks, snail" population was largely confined to the the house with his sombrero on If It "Well, in a ease like that don't you original thirteen colonies. In 1789 suited him to do so. One day, with a ever g > up on deck? We had a mighty when the constitution was adopted friend, he entered the gloomy and half close call " The Telltale Hand. “Well, you see. It's like tills: Von empty precincts of Trinity church. A writer In au English weekly de- New York city had 33.000 inhabitants New York, and took a back seat In the can't leave mayonnaise a minute dares that If we want to know what In 1817 It had 115.000, Philadelphia obscurity and for a moment forgot to cause It'll turn right back."-Youth » the other person Is thinkiug we must 112.000. Baltimore 55 000. Boston 40 remove his hat or was probably Just Companion. look at hls or her bauds. Even un­ 000. Providence 10.000. Hartford 8.000 about to do so when an officious verger practiced lips can lie, as every one Tlttsburg 7.000. Cincinnati 7.000 anil stepped up and requested him to take knows. Long practice In self control St. Louis 3 500. Chicago was but a COMFO'JND EYES. It off. Walt, a man of Immense pride, will enable one to keep one’s voice fert. and Indianapolis was nn unbroken The country was DOt not seeing fit to do so Instantaneously Insects That Can See Thousands of sweetly cordial when there is nothing wilderness. or being very slow In hls mental proc­ Ways at Cnee. but Indifference or cold dislike behind crowded yet.—Exchange. esses. was taking the matter Into con­ We can see Jhe single eyes of some it. The eyes can be made to shoot sideration for a second when the Insects without u tens, as in tile locust glances which are not at all a register CONSOLATION verger knocked the offending hat off In viewing the hou e ti.v we new n for the emotions. But the hands, it Is his head. Walt picked up the huge lens. The big. visible, bulging eyes we asserted, are utterly beyond the con­ The Musician Reminded ths Poet of felt and, doubling It together, smote ee aie compot e 1 of thousmi Is of irilt. trol of those to whom they belong. the Case of Guarnerius. the fellow vigorously twice or thrice ■one sba|H*cl eyes bo'nd in:<> one coin Even people who hardly gesticulate at The musician with a compusslonate with it on the head and slowly left pound e; e. each of more or less spher­ all—and to keep the hands still Is con­ the church, the red faced sexton fol­ ical shape. Luder a leus they look like sidered by the Anglo-Saxon a most es­ smile watched the poet trimming the lowing and threatening him with the g'ass e cd pavement bent to convexi­ sential part of good breeding—even fringe from hls cuff. “After all." be said, “your verse may law. ty. Tlielr faceted corneue ure viirious these people are, It seems, constantly live when Marie Corelli. Winston revealing themselves In little move ­ ly set lu square, hexagonal or prismiit Churchill and Hal) Caine himself are Moxart’s Skull. 1c frames. Each glistening facet Is the ments of the hands. The Immortal Mul­ forgotten. Remember the case of "If we were all constituted like Ham­ corneue tens of a distinct self working vaney bus put It on record that a wo­ let and could handle a skull as philo­ eye. Their number In each coinpuun ' man's truth or untruth can be dis­ Guarnerius.” “Who was he?" the poet asked. sophically as he," writes a sentimen­ cerned by the action of her bands. Of eye Is enormous. “A pauper and a violin maker talist In a Hamburg paper, “we could There are fifty such eyelets in the course It takes a practiced reader to Guarnetfius tn the seventeenth century visit the Mozart museum at Salzburg, ant. 1.400 are allowed the drone bee Interpret what the hands are saying. made violins that everybody thought enjoy the sights it offers and leave and 3.500 the ■workers.'' Our pet kltcb It Is not a case of "be who runs may too thick; hence they brought only $2 there without finding any fault. Un- j en fly has 8.1X10 chances of seeing food read.” apiece. Musicians would buy them fortunately, however, we are not so crumbs, the beetle over tl.UII