TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JUNE 1 . l^08-
I
MARTIAN LIFE.
Ccadltions Maks For Croaturvs 0» an
Advanced Ordsr of Intellect.
Whatever Its actual age. any life
Dow existent on Mars uniat lie In tne
laud stage of Its development—ou tne
whole, a much higher one than the ma
rine But. uiore than this. It should
probably have gone much further if It
exists at all. for In its evolving of terra
firms Mars has far outstripped the
earth Mars' surface Is uow all land
Its forma of life must be not only ter
restrial as against aquatic, but even
as opposed to terraqueous ones. It
must have reached uot sluiplv the
stage of land dwelling where the pis*
slbilitiea are greater for those able to
embrace them, but that further |s>liu
of pinching poverty where bruin Is
needed to survlre at all
The struggle for exislence In tin
planet's decrepitude and decay would
tend to evolve llitelllgen<*e to cope with
circumstances growing momeularlly
more and more adverse lint, further
more, the solidarity that the eondl
tlous prescribed would conduce to a
breadth of understanding suffii lent to
utilize It. Intercommunication over the
whole glolie Is made not only possible
but obligatory This would lend to the
easier spreading over It of some doml
nant creature- especially were tills lie
Ing of an advanced order of Intelleet
able to rise above its bodily limitation'*
to amelioration of the conditions
through exercise of mind. IVlint ali
Bence of seas would thus entail ah
Bence of mountains would further
These two obstacles to dlstrllm'lon re
moved, life there ivntild teud the
quicker to reach a highly organized
stage Thus Martian conditions them
selves make for Intelligence Percival
Lowell In Century.
RAYS AND SKATES.
They Are Known to Fishermen as the
Jokes of the Sea.
The rays and skates are the Jokes of
the sea. Their b,silex nre as flat ■i
the pancakes made by the man In
white on a griddle In the window of a
“beef and" restaurant. Their eyes
look upward, and they have tails as
slender aud tapering as the whip of
a ringmaster of a circus
In the L'nlted Blates the most com
mon rays are called "skates." The
whip tailed rays because of their long
slender lulls with their erectile aplite*
at the end. capable of Inflicting severe
and dangerous wounds, are frequently
called sting rays. The commou sting
ray feeds on oysters, clams and other
valuable mollusks and in the Atlantl
waters la known as the “elam cracker.’
Of the skates the commonest as well
as the smallest species on the Atlantl*
coast Is knowu as the tobacco box;
the largest la aptly called the barn
door. On the western coast of the
United States la found the big skate
which reaches a length <>f six feet,
two feet larger »11:111 Its eastern rein
live.
Because of Ita habit of Hilling Itself
up wheu caught the common skate h is
been called "bonnet skate " It
I Is also
knowu ns the "hedgehog ray."
On the New Jersey coast the trawl
fishermen cut off the broad, tieshy
“wlnga" and they nre sold for "sad-
dies." sometimes bringing ft and even
10 cents a pound. These men call the
fish "possum." “sen possum" and "bob
tailed skate." As a rule, anglers throw
the fish back into the water as being
of no value
Not at All Like Him.
To the studio of nn nt list who had
Just finished a portrait of a distin
guished resident of u neighboring city
a friend of the sitter came to look nt
the newly painted eauvss Tin* visitor
was nearsighted ami not particularly
well acquainted with studios.
Ho
wanted to see how good a likeness had
lieen made of his friend. He kept
walking nearer and nearer to the paint
Ing and finally put out his finger as It
to touch It. The artist was getting
nervous at the approach of the finger
to the paint. amt he asked the visitor
not to touch the portrait, as It wan not
dry The nearsighted man pill dowu
his hnnd and walked to the door. turn
ing only to say. "If It Isn’t dry It Isn’t
my friend." And he walked out.—New
York Sun.
BURIED HER VOICE.
The Worship of Serpents.
The small town of Werda, In the
kingdom of Dahomey, is celebrated for
Its "temple of serpents," a long building
In which the priesta keep upward of a
thousand serpents of all sizes, which
they feed with the birds and frogs
brought to them as offerings by the
natives.
These serpents, many of them of
enormous size, may be seen hanging
from the beams across the ceiling,
with their beads pointing downward
and In all sorts of strange contortions.
The priests make the small serpents go
through various evolutions by lightly
touching them witb a rod. but they do
not venture to touch the largest ones,
some of which are large enough to in
fold a bullock In their coils.
It often happens that some of these
serpents make their way out of the
temple Into the town, and the priests
have the greatest difficulty In coaxing
them back. To kill a serpent intention
ally is a crime punished with death,
and If a European were to kill one the
authority of the king himself would
scarcely suffice to save his life. Any
one killing a serpent unintentionally
must Inform the priest of what has
occurred and go through the course of
purification which takes place once a
year.
Artificial Limbs,
“A manufacturer or dealer in artl-
ficial limbs who wears a cork arm or
leg himself Is much better equipped for
business than Ills competitors who are
sound,” said a man who uses a cork
leg. “In fact, it has become a sort of
unwritten law among us to patronize
such men when possible. Sentimental
reasons may have something to do with
tlie case, but I guess the chief reasou
Is that we consider that if a man can
make a limb for himself that fits like
the paper on the wall lie can make
It for others. Manufacturers of artl-
ficial llmbs know this, and frequently
you will And an advertisement like
this: ‘The So-and-so artificial leg Is
built by a man who is wearing one
aud who knows from experience what
you want for comfort.' This Is a strong
argument, for It's no easy thing to get
an artificial limb that Just fits. Per
sons who have trouble getting shoes
that are Just right are in great luck
compared to us."—New York Sun.
An Admiral's Stories.
One of the English admirals has a
choice collection of stories at the ex
pense of laymen placed in office at the
admiralty as a consequence of a turn
of the political wheel. Of one lord of
the admiralty he told a delighted house
of commons how. receiving a report of
disaster to a ship couched In technical
phrase, lie wrote a reply remonstrating
with the officer for Ills use of bad lan
guage. Another civilian lord, looking
over a chart and observing that one of
his majesty's ships, homeward bound,
passed within a space of two Inches
on the chart an Island where cast-
away sailors were sheltering, wanted
to know why It could not call and re-
lleve them. The admiral explained
that the two Inches on the chart meant
a distance at sen of 4,000 miles.—Lon
don Strand Magazine.
Boone's Portrait In Oil.
There never was but one oil portrait
of Daniel Boone painted from life, and
that was by Chester Harding, a dis
tinguished artist of Boston, who came
to Missouri In .lune, 1820, and painted
It in the residence of Flanders Calla
way. Boone's son in-law. where Boone
was then living, near the village of
Marthasville, In Warren county. The
Bev. James E. Welch, one of the oldest
Baptist preachers lu the state and fa
ther of Alkman Welch, attorney general
of Missouri during Governor Gamble's
administration, ant In Boone's bed be
hind Boone for him to lean against
while Harding painted tlie picture, the
pioneer being too feeble to sit nlone.
Harding's portrait of Boone now hangs
In the state capitol at Frankfort, Ky.—
Kansas City Star.
The Glass Snake.
The slowwortn is the snake which
country people tell you has the peculiar
property of breaking Itself Into bits,
each piece afterward surviving. The
truth differs slightly from the legend.
The slowwortn Is a timid creature and
when first captured tightens all ita
muscles, thus reducing itself to a re
markably rigid state, in which condi
The Land of Fire and Ico.
tion It will no doubt snap like a dry
An example of the strangeness i of twig; but, needless to say. only the
Iceland Is furnished by the volet ■ano upi>er and vital portions survive the
Matla. This Is burled under Immense ordeal.—London Globe.
snow fields, but front time to time Its
fires burst through tlie glittering
What the Jury Thought.
blanket, and then such Bootis nre pour
During a trial for assault in Mel
etl from the melting Ice that a great bourne a club, a rail, au ax handle, a
stretch of country lietween the volcano knife and a shotgun were exhibited as
and the sea Is Inundated and huge the instruments with which the deed
masses of Ice are carried out Into the was done, It was also shown that the
ocean It la unsafe even to cross (lie assaulted man defended himself with
territory lying Iwtween Matla and the a scvtbe, a revolver, a pitchfork, a
sea. so suddenly come the Hoods.—Chi chisel, a hand saw and a dog. The
cago Record-Herald.
Jury decided that they'd bare given a
sovereign apiece to have seen the fight
Their Crimes.
Two boys of strict Free church par
A Dainty Combination.
entage and upbringing lu a Scottish
"You can't tell." said uncle to us;
town were comparing lulqultles One "you can't tell Feller I know that's
boasted that he had furtively been at a aesthetic artist know wbat he does?
a circus show. "Ah. but I have done He smokes chewin' terbaccer in a
worse than that.” said the other, "for pipe that's made o' rubber. Honest,
I've been ou,e In the pit at the theater be does. An' be claims his health la
and twice In the Established kirk."— dellcut!"—Cleveland Leader.
Blackwood's Mags tine.
Didn't Want Agony Prelonged-
Mlsalonary -Will you do me a favor?
Ml,trees (astounded) - You can't read. Cannibal—What la It? Mlaalonary -
Norah? Good gracious! How did you Wheu you get ready to eat me. I wish
ever learn to cook so well? New Cook you would arrange It so that I can be
- Shore, mum. Oi lay It t' not bein' able a qulcW lunch rather than a course din
to rade th' cookbooks.-Town and Coun ner New York Press.
A Pert Answer.
Invitation Declined.
"As Shakespeare says," rv-usrked
Hie Weight.
What do you think young Chumpley Casaldy. who was fond of airing bls
weighs?”
"book lamin'." "what's In a name?"
“Al«*ut 'JOG pounds on the wales and
"Well.” replied Casey, “call mo wan
about ten ounces In the ceUmualty.”— that OI don't like an’ Oi'll show ya*—
Lleveland Plain Dealer.
Kansas City Newsbook.
I
Pauline Lucca Never £ar>g After
Her Husband's Death.
Great stage artists die twice—the
first time, when they take leave of the
stage and set aside the harp; the sec
ond time, when, like ordinary mortals,
they go the way of all flesh—and who
knows but this last act Is not more
bearable, uot less dreadful, than the
first, when, after all the blinding glory,
the shadowy curtain of oblivion de
scends? For Pauline Lucca this first
act was of long duration—nearly twen
ty years. Bite bad time to outlive her
glory ami to become acquainted with
the bad memory of mankind. Ilka
Horwlz-Baruay tells this story In con
nection with a visit which she made
to the Lucca borne lu Vienna: "I ask
ed. ‘Do you ever sine?' •No! No!
Never!’ she almost shouted. •| never
slug, for I lost my voice, lost it sud
denly, by suggestion, through the will
of another.' After being urged to ex
plain she exacted a promise of secrecy
‘until she was no more’ and said:
‘You know, wiy husband, the Baron
von Wallhofen. was sick for a long
time and beard little singing Wheu
1 did slug for him It bad to be an old
song which I disliked, but he was
fond of It tiecause of Its words. One
evening we had a few friends here,
He was feeling somewhat better and
had bls chair wheeled Into the draw-
Ing room, To please him I sang his
_ He wept with pleasure,
favorite song.
Then be took my two bands and
caressed them, stroked my hair and
my face and whispered to me: “Thank
you! Thank you! You are an angel!”
And. still caressing me, he said. "So I
shall take your voice with me to the
grave!” 1 laughed and said, "You
But
will outlive my voice and me.
he repeated, “1 shall take your voice
with me to the grave!” Two days
later the baron died, and I was never
able after his death to sing a note.'
Vienna Neue Frele Presse.
Why
Th. Pov Hungry Fish.
••nere is an Interesting thin, that
hs.pe'ed iast summer mu, friend «d
myself." said a New Vorker. WeJ «
gone on a fishing trip in “
but It seeim-d that either all the flab
were at another place or were - not bum
gry. We dwided if those fish were
not hungry we were. « • hadn “ m
our luncheon, as wise fishermen will
and in order to keep the brea 1 as fre m
as possible had left it )■• 1™' f^,n
Mv friend asked me to pass it to him.
and lu doing so the loaf of bre ■<!
overboard. We made out the best we
could without the bread aud later row
ed to another (dace to fish. On our
way back we passed the place where
we lost our bread. Then we saw the
sight of our lives. On each side of the
loaf of bread stood a big H-to. ami rot
as far as we could see there was a
great line of small fish. We wondered
what it was. and then the thought
dawned on us—those tisl) had formed
a "bread line" and the two large fish
were dealing out the bread. After that
we didn’t have the heart to try to
catch any ofgbose poor, hungry fish.
A Bride With Seme Good Points.
Rome years ago in ail agricultural
district In England there lived a farm
er who wanted to sell one of bis cows.
There was not at that time a weekly
paper In which he could advertise, so
he resolved to follow a local custom
and ask the vicar of the parish when
giving out bis notices at church to ad
vertise the cow.
"Yes, farmer," said the vicar, "I
should lie willing to oblige you. but
you don't attend my church."
Presently, however, they struck a
bargain that the vicar should adver
tise the cow, and the man In returu
promised to go to church. Now. un
fortunately the man was deaf, and on
the Sunday following when the vicar
gave out the banns of marriage be
tween Joseph So-and-so, bachelor, and
Sarah So-and-so, spinster, the farmer
took it for granted that the vicar was
giving out particulars of bis cow and
HER FACE WAS NOT FAIR shouted out:
“You might as well say while you
But Thera Was Or.e to Whom Shs are about it that she Is a most gentle
Would Always Be Beautiful.
creature and entirely free from vice."
The blind boy raised a rapt face to —Stray Stories.
the light.
“And my mother?” he said question-
Where Red Hair Is Disliked.
Ingly. “Tell me how she looks again.
In Cornwall, particularly the Land's
I shall soon l)e able to see. and 1 know End district. It Is not advisable to dub
I shall find one more beautiful than all a person “a red haired Dane.” though
the rest and cry: 'Mother, mother! Why In most parts of England, especially
do you not speak?'”
Inland, the expression would as likely
His sensitive face was turned re as not provoke no comment at all or be
proachfully toward his father. "You regarded as simply frivolous.
have always told me how lovely she is.
At a police court case heard in 18G7
She Is little—not taller than my shoul at Penzance town ball it came out in
der—1 know that.”
evidence that the defendant had called
The old man laid bls arm over the the complainant “a red haired Dane."
lad's shoulders.
and this led to an assault. The strong
"You must know now what your repugnance of Cornishmen to be dubbed
bllnduess would have kept you from by this strange appellation is as strong
knowing.” he said. “Your mother is as ever.
not fair and beautiful now In face, but
The Celtic nations hated the Danes
her soul Is wbat God made for a moth
er. When you can see. look for the and were always fighting them. And
only In Cornwall, but also all along
face which holds the greatest love. not
our coasts, where the Danes or Norse
You will not be mistaken. It will be men made their ravages, tills deep
your mother's."
The great surgeon looked for a mo rooted prejudice against people with
ment or two Into the sightless eyes and red hair, “red headed.” more or less
remains Ingrained in the national char
then turned and laid bls band on the acter.—J. Harris Stone in “The Eng
father's trembling arm.
lish “
Illustrated."
"Only God can make him see. my
friend." he said kindly. “Your boy
Meat Versus Song.
was born blind, and human skill can
The great tenor's lunch consisted of
not help him ”
The blind Itoy was the first to speak, a cheese omelet, asparagus, fruit and
and he laid bls arm around the sud au ice.
“No meat?" said the reporter.
denly aged form of bis father.
“As little meat as possible." the tenor
“Come." he said, “let us go hack to
mother. Site will always be beautiful replied. "Meat kills song. The night
to tne now." and they turned and gave ingale. the thrush and lark are grain
eaters, and their song Is sweet. The
place to the others.—Exchange.
carnivorous birds, the crow. etc., only
croak. And in countries that go in for
Caustic Whistler.
Whistler's caustic wit Is shown by excessive meat eating—England, for in
stance—there are few good voices,
the following anecdote:
In the more vegetarian countries,
"Of one who was held to be Eng while
such as Italy, fine singers abound.
land's most brilliant young artist. ‘Yes.’ I Song birds are vegetarian." he con
he said thoughtfully, 'he's clever, but
“Carnivorous birds croak."—
there's something common In every cluded.
New York Press.
thing he does, so what's the use of
It?"'
Whera Water Means Life.
Like many great men. he had but
As Illustrating the scarcity of water
little time for any but bls own work.
"He told me a story demonstrating this In some parts of Australia and the
most clearly. His “Nocturne In Blue high value set upon it. I would draw
and Gold. Valparaiso," was in the Hill attention to the case of three Afghans
collection In Brighton. Mr Hill bad who were murdered In West Australia.
two galleries and a well known collec Water was scarce, and yet these three
tion. eventually sold at Christie's. orientals washed themselves In a road
Whistler went down to see Mr. Hill, hole—the sole source of supply-ad
joining a selector's homestead. In a
and said be:
'"I was shown Into the galleries and fury he shot the three of them, and at
subsequent trial the Jury unanl-
of course took a chair and sat looking his
rnously acquitted him.-Wlde World
at my beautiful “Nocturne.” Then, as Magazine.
then* was nothing else to do. I went
to sleep.’ "—Sidney Starr's "Personal
His Great Fault.
liecollections of Whistler" In Atlantic.
"Yea," said the would be ______
author,
“I've taken a house In the country, but
A Chinese Delicacy.
It will be necessary for me to engage
The tips from the topmost shoots of a gardener. There's quite a plot of
the bamboo tree are culled when they ground around the house; too much for
are not more than three Inches long, me to handle."
peeled aud preserved much as pine
"Yes." replied Crittlck. "you never
apple Is. though the tips are cut In could handle a plot, could you?"—Cath-
quarters. This fruit has a remarkably olle
—- Standard and Times.
delicate and pleasaut taste and Is large
ly used as a flavoring for meat, though
All Pretty.
It can lie eaten In the raw state, being
A rash paper announced for Its col
rich and Juicy. The edible Is expen-
sh e on account of the difficulty In se umns a forthcoming story, entitled
curing It from lbe to|« of the tall. "The Prettiest Girl In the Town."
A hundred young ladies Immediately
sleuder trees at Just the right time.
scut post cards warning the editor not
to use their real names.-I.ondou Globe
An Uncomfortably Answer.
In one of Sir George Colley's letters
Brevity.
he says: 'Ij'nl I^ttou bad a good
*Tno many words are wearisome.”
story about poor Lord leltvtm. who said Kwoter. “Brevity Is the soul of
shortly Ivfore bla murder, talking with
a nuintryuian a I >out soma cases of
1.
the observer;
hindlord »booting, asked. ‘Why don't ..J?
but In any event It Is always
the rascals shoot pie?' 'Ab. thin, yer mendable "-Philadelphia Press. cotr.-
bouner.’ said the tuan. 'It's Just thia—
what’s everybody's business Is no
Twsnty and Twanty-two.
body's business!*”
What to th« difference between twice
,’rk*
•',On* " »«ever.
Dto you see that twice ten makes
“They say lt'a
IX’
genius.”
"Bosh! Were not al) women gen-
lussa how would most familias cxtotF
Th. •troH^t thing, „re m q.
-LoutovUle Courier-Journal.
«raro th. we»ke»t.-Bo*iettl.
mastodons ,
I
Why Their Bones Ar. Found Near
Salt or Sulphur Springs.
••TV herever you find salt or eulphut
springs." says * Keu'l»mi,D
with the L'nlted States geological sur
vey "you may expect to dud the bone.)
of mastodons and other huge creatures
that have now become extinct. Many
person, suppose that the
these bones in great numbers ludlcatc»
tlmt the animals bud a sort of
cemetery, like the llama» of Chile.
Which when (bey felt death coming on
always imide tor the nearest stream or
pond aud. if they could get there, died
in the water.
"That, bonever. Is likely only a su
perstition. Tlie mastodon bones in a
salt or sulphur marsh indicates that
the animals went there to drink the
water and occasionally one got mired
and was suffocated. The great num
bers of the bones do not prove that a
whole herd of mastodons was drowned
at once, but that one being mired ev
er, year or so during several cent .tries
would In time cause a great accumula
tion of bones. Missouri has a bone
marsh at Sulphur Springs; there Is
great mine of them at the Sait Springs
In Kentucky and at several places in
Ohio and Indiana wLere there ar*
saline springs. A great spring lu Flo.-
ida. one of the four or five huge ou
lets which are grouped under the name
of Sliver Spring, is called ”t*'e bo-*
yard" because the bottom red nic*.-.
are masses of mastodon be -—-s." S'-
Louis Globe-Democrat.
A WAR CF MAPS.
Bolivia Wiped Out England and the
British Isles.
"Bolivia is the ouly country that ever
wiped England off the map." said
Frank Roberson. “It came about this
wav: The British ambassador several
years ago gave a dinner tor the official
and social circle people of Bolivia.
"Wheu they arrived at the cmbt.HSy
they found that he was not marriec
to the woman seated at the head o’ th*
table, and they left, lu the name o.
Ills government he demand,al an at».'
city, whereupon the government gave
him twenty-four hours to get out of
the country.
“Inasmuch as little Bolivia is way
ou the ocean and practically lost In
the eternal mountains Great Britain
could not bv guns get the retraction
that she wauted, but ber mapuiak-
ers got revenge by Issuing maps whol
ly eliminating Bolivia.
"Finally this information reached Bo
livia, whereupon with a stroke of the
pen new maps were ordered for the Bo
livian government and the Bolivian
schools. They showeu more ocean
than any other maps ever printed. The
British isles bad been sunk Into the
sea. And so far as the people and
school children of Bolivia are concern
ed there Is no Great Britain."—Indian
apolis News.
'1----------------
-
Jwwalry Prat.ctlon.
“The general public to not awaragf tg,
rarefully worked out system by which
the large Jewelry bouses continue to
protect their splendid wares long after
these have tieen sold aud passed ot#
of their bands." said a detective,
discussing daring modern burgUrle,.
"Most large establishments dealing in
precious metals aud gems have a care
fully organized aud very efficient de-
tectlve system, which makes it easj
for a patron to recover stolen go,^,
without charge aud with little or no
delay In the Institution of the search
In the safes of these large Jewel Imuses
are minute descriptions of every pie,,
of valuable Jewelry which gue. out
from the establishment. Each pie,,
is numbered too. When the gems are
missed the patron telephones the shop
in which the articles were purchased
At once a special detective, thoroughly
acquulnted with the business in hand
and armed with a detailed description
of the Jewelry, is hurried to the scene
of action. This is without expeuse to
the clieut."— Chicago Inter Ocean.
Something Hotel CI.rk. Remember.
"There's lots less danger of the
night clerk forgetting an early call
left by some guest than most traveler.
Imagine." remarked a hotel manager
the other day. "The fact to." he de
clared. “the average night clerk conld
not forget one of those early calls if he
wanted to. You know. It's a mighty
lonesome Job the night clerk has
There Is little for bint to do. few ar
rivals to take care of and little to
break the monotony of bis long vigil.
About the only fuu the night clerk
has Is those early morning calls. When
I was a night clerk I used to count
the hours until 1 could start In on
those early calls. There was nothing
else to do or think about, and It would
keep going through my mind wbat fun
It would be to make some guest chare
my forlorn Btate by getting him out of
his warm bed all sleepy eyed. 1 could
not any mme have overlooked one of
those early calls than I could have
overlooked my breakfast when the
time came.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
In the Jaws of a Lion.
A lion comes at Its enemy at full
speed, galloping low, and dashes a
man standing upright to the ground by
the full Impact of Its body. Major In-
verarlty states thHt “the claws and
teeth entering the fiesb do not buri aa
much as you would think." but that
the squeeze given by the Jaws on the
bone is really painful. When knocked
over he was still keenly conscious and
felt none of the dreamy sensations ex
perienced by Livingstone.
Major Swalne. struck down by a
lioness going full gallop, was uncon
scious for some minutes and did not
know what had happened till he found
himself standing up after the accident
"I felt no pain.” be writes, “not, I be
lieve. owing to any special Interposi
tion of Providence, but simply that tbs
shock and loss of blood made me in
capable of feeling It. There was no
Why He “Let ’Em Grow."
pain for a few days till It was broaght
"Yes. I've given up shaving." he told on by the swelling of my arm on tbs
bls friends. “I never could shave my twelve days' ride to the coast.”—Lon
self. aud the last time 1 was operated
on I was In sucli a blue funk that 1 don Spectator.
shudder to think of ft The tiarber
A Woman Governor.
had a musical ear. and he lathered me
Queens have ruled many nations, but
to the tune of 'The Blind Boy,’ which
was being ground out by a barrel organ Pennsylvania Is the only one of ths
close by Slow certainly, but nothing United States that ever had a woman
to complain about. By the time the for governor. A passage unearthed
scraping process had commenced the from Armor's ’’Governors of Pennsyl
tune bad changed to the liveliest of vania.” page 12H. says:
“On the ;iotb of July. 1718. William
Jigs, and the musical shaver seemed to
be enjoying himself hugely as he did Penn died, at the age of seventy-four.
his best to keep time. I was afraid to By his will his wife, Hannah, was
take a breath for fear It would be my made his sole executrix and assumed
the management of colonial affairs, sx-
Inst
“Then the organ stopped, but only ecutfng this difficult task with rare
for a second, and when 1 heard the tact and busluess capacity. 'She be
strains of 'Stop Your Tickling, Jock,' 1 came.’ says Watson. 'In effect our gov
vowed that rather than run the risk of ernor. ruling us by her deputies or
being finished off in a barber’s chair lieutenant governors during all the
by a musical maniac 1 would let ’em term of her children's minority.’”
grow for the future and chance the
Lion and Unicorn.
crop.”—Modern Society.
The animosity which was supposed
to exist lietween the lion and the uni
His Parting Shot.
I lie late Catholic bishop llaphoe, Ire corn. us referred to by Spenser In bls
land. used often to tell this story with “Faerie Queene." Is allegorical of tbs
nut, b enjoyment "1 was suddenly call deep rcoted ill will which anciently ex
ed." tie said, “from my home to see an isted between England and Scotland.
unfortunate sailor who had been cast Ever since KMI3 the royal arms bars
ashore from a wreck and was lying been supported, as now. by the Eng
speechless on the ground, but not quite lish lion and the Scottish unicorn to
dead
The life's In him still, your token of the fact that St George and
reverence-he stirred a little.’ so J 1 St. Andrew had at last shaken band»
stooped down and said to him. -My and forgotteu their old difference.
poor man. you’re nearly gone, but Just
An Expl»nation.
try to say one little word or make one
The paaalonate rhythms of “T*
little sign to Show that you are dying
In the true faith.’ So he opened one of Merry Widow” waltz floated through
h s eyes just a wee bit and he said. the office, and the lx»» looked up fro®
Bloody end to the pope!’ and so died.” his desk impatiently.
"Frederic." he said. “I wish y«>
wouldn't whistle at your work."
Ev,ry Bird * Weathercock.
"1 ain't workln', sir." the office boy
" heres the whldr
or- « by. look at the birds. They’ll replied calmly. "I'm only Just whis
tell you Don’t you know that ¿very tlin'."-New York Press.
bir,Ts a weathercock? Stop moistenin'
A Japanese Joko.
your finger and b.ddiu’ It up." he went
Guest—Do you know that fellow or
•Un’tlh\r,fiUP
di3K"at "The r'ractlce
hin t hardly cleanly Look at the birds Sayama is telling »11 kinds of He« ®
with
d°' f0r
*ts defame your character?
is telling Iles I don't care, but if
w n 1 P
" Wa’T* 8tral'bt at the begin to tell the truth I'll throttle bi*
ra able a weathercock as them dead Guest—Oh, you will, eb?—Japan C»»*
btrtto on the spires."—New York Pres. rent
Har Ravan Hair.
A Bit Different,
"Some novelists don't know wM
wix??’ on,‘,hing ni,°nt
they’re talking about Here's one wk»
__ ’Ie
”p h r mind If she
speaks of a girl's 'raven hair.”'
o
~ ..... l
u»»t
“What's wrong with It?"
" .7 "' ®
rowT* — Something tike
Browne
like mv
"All wrong. Ravens don't wear ha ■
I They wear feat hers!"-Liverpool M*'
rie^.
«fhrward-Philadelphia
eury.
Nn Gi«-
.
"Would you call that orator» *»•
qtteoce a gtftr
“Not at all. He always charge»i «
least no cents admission.-’—WasbW
T’ do'lrtn"'« nod ton Star.
mostly hote.-ppck
The greatest quarrels In the
htatorv have been between pwr,e **
I Were once friends —Ateblsen riloh*
„
Possibly.
^he7¿h\f3,’t ,hat ,b*
the doughnut and the
tb.
e