TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JUNE 4. 1908.
Animal* at Play.
Hew a Hat I* Sized.
PSYCHASTHENIA.
Cats delight in racing about but hot
CL writes that tbe size of a hat 1*
to
often.
I
think,
lu
circles,
as
dogs
do.
Hi* Encounter With th* Czar and HI*
calculated- on a curious principle. It
They prefer straight lines and sharu A Physician 8ay* This I* On* of th*
Ignoble Reward.
Is the length plus tbe breadth divided
C sum * of Panic*.
turns with the genuine« gout Jump
One of the stories of Peter the Great
The pnnlcs that start lu Wall street by 2. Thus a bead 8% luebes long and
This sudden flight Into the air, whi> h
b-% inches broad would require a bat
which ire current at the court of St
appears to take place without the ani «■ften begin In the morbid financial
•izc of 14'.J divided by 2. which is 7%
Petersburg Is of the great czar's wres
fears
of
overstrained
brains
—
psyebas-
mal's knowledge or intention, cannot
tling match with a young dragoon.
Psycbastbeula makes panics, - Gladstone s size.
here be preparatory to life lu the moun ibenla
Your correspondent U. is perfectly
Once in the imperial palace—so the
tains. but the cat finds the high jump writes Dr. Clarence Hughes tn the
right in bis description of tbe curious
story goes—Peter was at table with
very useful, not only in pouncing on Alienist and Neurologist.
way lu which the size of a hat is qb-
a great many princes and noblemen,
“We once knew a mind overburden
Its prey, but in escaping Its hereditary
tallied, writes G.. but bis sample di
and soldiers were posted within the
enemy. Brehm records a movement el. brain overstrained man suddenly
mension* are sligbtly mlslead'ng Sivb
ball. The czar was In a joyous mood,
play of young chamois. When lu sum- couclude be was coming to waut and
and. rising, called out to the company: | mer the young chamois climb u;> to the would not be able to pay bls taxes an "oval" as 8% inches by 5% Inches
would scarcely lie met with twice In
"Listen, priuces and boyars! Is there
perpetual suow they delight to pl ly on when bis income was $40,000 annual
a lifetime. The uormal difference be
among you one who will wrestle with
ly. He milked his own cow. be bar
it. They throw themselves in a crouch
tween the length and w idth (technical
the czar?” There was no reply, and
Ing position on the upper end of a nessed his own horse and cared for it ly called the "oval") is luvaii* lily
the czar repeated the challenge.
«sold
the
others),
dismissed
all
bis
iteep suow covered Indiue. work all
through the gamut of sizes 1% luebes
No prince or nobleman dared to wres-
"our legs with a swimming motion t:« servants and bls wife's and bad In
Thus an ordlnicy 0% hat would mens
tie with his sovereign. But all at once
soinnla.
but
finally
recovered
complete
get a start and then slide down on the
ure 7Li Indies long and 6 inches wide
a young dragoou stepped out from
surface of the snow, often traversing ly. Others with less Income or more and a 7'4 (four sizes bigger) 8 inches
the ranks of the soldiers on guard.
l distance of from 100 to 150 meters In fall through brain overtax Into the long aud (>'■_. luebes wide. Tbe longest
"Llsteu. orthodox czar." be Bald. "1
this way. while the snow tiles up and same morbid way of feeling and think
head 1 have measured In many thou
will wrestle with thee.” "Well, young
»•overs them with a fine |a>wder
Ar Ing.
dragoon," said Peter. "I will wrestle
"One kind of insanold Is a man sands was 8% by 7%. which is the
rived at the bottom, they spring to
I equivalent of a 2% inch oval. Needless
with thee, but on these conditions: If
their feet and slowly clamber np who under mental stress of any kind | to say. the inside of the hat wav the
thou throwest me. I will pardon thee,
again the distance they h ive slid down acta as though he were Insane, but has | shape of a caualboa«. — Manchester
but If thou art thrown thou shall be
-"The Play of Animals.” by linri not the disease of real Insaulty to ex
Guardian.
beheaded. Wilt thou wrestle on those
cnse bls actions.
IrtHis.
conditions?"
"He hovers on the verge, but does
It Did Not Work.
"I will, great czar.” said the soldier
not pass over Into real mental aberra
Th* Ananias Story.
Mrs. Billings was installing the new
They closed, and presently the soldier
lion
as
he
appears
to
be
going.
He
Go to cburi-h and bear the pastor. In
cook, a maiden from Finland, to whom
with Ills left arm threw the czar and
Is pulpit large and wide, tell about does ami says such odd. unreasonable the kitchen contrivances of America
with his right he prevented him from
he dread disaster that o'erwhelmed and annoying things that bls friends were new and wonderful. “Tbls, Ina.”
falling to the ground. The sovereign
be mau who lied
It was Colonel often wish he would pass Into genuine said the lady. Indicating a perforated
was clearly beaten. The czar offered
Ananias, who in days long dead and Insanity, so that be might be properly woollen board that huug against the
the soldier whatever reward he should
gone, shock«*«! bls neighbors (who were and lawfully restrained or that be kitchen wall, "is tbe order list. See. it
claim, and he Ignobly claimed the
pious) when he put the truth In pawn. might happily extinguish blmself by says 'butter, eggs, sugar, coffee, tea.
privilege of drinking free as long as
\b. he took the truth and hauled It suicide. Sometimes he does commit molasses'-everything that we need to
he lived In all the Inns belonging to
through the cinders and the slack, aud silicide or become really Insane, and eat. Whenever we are out of any of
the crown. What became of him his
ie slugged it. and be mauled it. and he we then know where to place hlui.”
these things all you need to do 1* to
tory does not say.
split It up the back: so some bears
place one of these little pegs in the
ame up and ate him. at the propbet's
A LITTLE BIT BEHIND.
bole opposite the name and tbe thiugs
ATOMIC WORLDS.
tern command, aud the generations
will tie ordered."
hate him as they march adown the Th* Old Man Wa* Not Very Well
Mrs. Billings Is not a methodical
There May Be a Billion of Them In • :and. He was east Into a furnace that
Posted on th* New*.
housekeeper There were several con
Speck of Dust.
In the midst of the heated dissension secutive days when she completely for
was full of coal aud wood, and he mut
How would you like to live in an tered. "This will learn us" (for his on points connected with certain his got the existence of the order list In
ntom to be one of the millions of in grammar wasn't good.) In the Red torical sensations which their teacher the kltch«n, but Ina labored with it
habitants of a world so small that you
ea's depths be wallowed, with his had sought to Impress on them the two faithfully.
cannot even see it beneath a micro chariots and men, till a wliale came up grandchildren appealed to their grand
"Meesls." pleaded Ina. after strug
scope?
tnd swallowed him. and he felt seedy father, who sat muslug and putting bis gling with the order board for three
The scientists tell us that each atom then. Let us therefore shun the fable pipe In the corner, for support.
days, "I tank dose board must be out
Is a solar system, with Its central sun and the foolish, futile lie; do the best
“Grandpa,” cried the eager brother, of order. I push dose |>eg in yust so
and revolving planets In their orbits, that we are able, camp In heaven by “who was it killed Caesar—Cassius or far as I can. but nottlng will come—no
and that little atom people live and aud by.-Emporia Gazette.
Brutus? I say Cassius.”
egg. no butter, no nottlngs.”—Youth's
love and tight and die there and never
“Waal,” replied the grandfather, sud l Companion.
know but what they are Just the big
denly becoming grave and taking bis
The Glory of New York.
gest and most Important folks that
Wbat other city Is there of like size ( pipe from his mouth, “It war one or
Th* Voice and th* Phonograph.
live.
There are military atomites which mat« lies New York In posit! n? t’other. Let me see.
Yes, 1 guess
A vaudeville monologue man met a
there, no doubt, who strut around and It is a seaside city; the salt water 'twar th’ man you said.”
friend in a Broadway car. After they
get tangled up In their swords and laves Its feet.
“And sis says it was Marie Antoi had talked awhile tbe friend said:
As the traveler np
give orders lu graft voices; actor atom proaches It be thinks of Venice rising nette who got put to death In France,"
"I've lieeu conscious ever sluce we
ites who star In atomic theaters and frotu the sea or is fierhaps reminded of again cried the youth, triumphantly began to talk of some change in you,
are adored by lovely atomite maidens ancient Tyre, which “stood out ill the glancing toward bls sister, "but 1 Bay
but I couldn't make out what. I know
and criticised by the trenchant pens of sea as a hand from a wrist" and of it was Mary, queen of Scots.”
now. It Is your voice. You speak so
the newspaper men.
"Now, you may be right there, too." much more distinctly than you used
which 'the houses were Impressively
There Is every reason to believe that tall, "impressive” Is not too Indulgent ventured the involuntary vindicator to."
life in the atom Is much like life In the a word for the skyscrapers of New after fidgeting In his chair. “Come t'
“That Is because I have been talking
earth and that the kings and emperors York—clean faced, simple, original and think of It, 'twar Mary, queen of Scots,
Into a pbouograpb.” said tbe vaude
there make war on their distant ene audacious, they are characteristic of that war electrocuted In France."
ville performer. "The surest remedy
mies and have their peace conferences the land and of the people. They are
At this the young girl's eyes flashed on enrth for slovenly speech Is to bear
and their periods of financial stringen not ugly concessions to utility, but a
“Grandpa," declared she, stepping lie- a little lecture of your own rolled off a
cy. The Joke of It is that they prob father grand adaptation of archltec
fore him and eying him sternly, "you phonograph record and find that about
ably take themselves seriously, and. hire to circumstances. The ancients, don't seem to know anything about It.”
half the words have been pronounced
though there may be a billion atomic harassed with dread of piracy, would
The old man’s bead went up as If lu direct opposition to Webster and all
worlds lu a speck of dust, there Is not have dared to build n city like New- shocked. "Th’ truth Is. children.” he
the rest of the authorities. That was
never an Inhabitant of one of them York od the edge of a great harbor then admitted as he passed his free
my experience.
I practiced for two
that knows how small be Is and how open to the sea It Is something which hand over his head helplessly, "your
months hard before I could Improve
much he misses by not being a man the modern world alone could have grandfather ain’t read th' uewspaperB
a s(>eecb that had been good enough
Instead of an atomite. - New York given us.—London Spectator.
very careful this week. I'ui a leetle for tbe theater up to tbe point where
World.
mite behind.”—Bohemian Magazine.
it would pass muster In a talking ma
Work of a Burmese Bud.
chine.”—New York Sun.
Slow Mental Ripening.
An
Unwalcom*
Gratuity.
Instead of a coming out party as we
Not Infrequently those mentalities
An American merchant bitterly op
know It. the Burmese girl's entrance
A Curious Ear,
that ripen the slowest last the longest, Into society begins when she lias her posed to the custom of "tipping" public
The entflsh use* his lungs as an or
and often the history of these great
servants
for
each
inconsequential
serv
ears pierced. As soon after tbls as Rbe
men has been perslsteut neglect and feels Inclín d she selects a husband ice was astonished to find the practice gan of hearlug The needless lung be
comes a closed sac filled with air and
worldly coldness until forty or more
and goes to live in a home of her owu In Europe more general than lu Ameri
years have passed before their great The home Is provided by the man. but ca. While in London be bad occasion commonly known as the swim blad
der. In tbe cattish, as In tbe sucker*,
ness has been conceded by their con
it becomes bis wife's as soon ns they to employ a cab and upon being driven chubs and most brook flab, tbe air
temporaries. Truly "the life history
are married. All women, young nod to the desired destination drew forth bladder Is large nnd is connected by a
of a great genius is almost Invariably
old. are addicted to the use of tobacco a handful of change, couuted out the slender tube, the remains of the tra
one of a sad and somlier tone, a walk
The women seem to prefer the very exact fare and tendered It to the chea. to the esophagus. At Its front
apart from the beaten path." Such
large size black cigar. Often one meets drl ver.
It fits closely to the vertebral column.
are the words of oue who should know
“Beg pardon, sir!" exclaimed the cab
a woman on the streets of n village
what the "doers of deed*” must en with one of these huge cigars In her by In a tone of Injury. “ 'Ow long 'ave The nuterlor vertebrae are much en
larged. twisted together, and through
dure.
Be this as Jt may. It is now
mouth and two or three more stuck In ye been saving up for this 'ollday?”
them passes a chain of bones, which
recognized that many of the finest
Suppressing his annoyance nt tbe
the boles of each ear.
connects with the hidden cavity of the
achievements In business, statesman
driver's effrontery, tbe tourist sought a
air. The bladder therefore assists tbe
ship. literature and In all activities
restaurant and upon receiving the din ear of the catfish as the tympanum,
Deceitful.
have been wrought by men long past
“Men are queer animals." said th«- ner check again tendered tbe exact and Its Ismee assist tbe ear of tbe
sixty
Writes one. “No strong man
pessimist. "They are all more or less amount of his bill. The waiter bowed, higher animals. An ear of tbls sort
will accept sixty as the arbitrary limit
assisted bls guest Into bis coat, then,
deceitful."
can carry little range of vnrlety In
of his ambition and working ability.”—
"Ob. I don't lielicve that!" replleil selecting a bright new sixpence, of sound. It probably give* only the Im
W. A. Newman Dorland in Century.
fered
It
to
bis
patron
with:
the optimist “I think there are plenty
pression of Jar* or disturbance* In tbe
"Beastly weather, sir! 'Ere’s coach water.
of people who strive to tie honest. I
The Silkworm.
fare!"
—
Lippincott's
Magazine.
know 1 do. and I don't give myself
Upon attaining full growth the silk credit for tieing any better than the
Mor* About Cruao*.
worm becomes restless, stops feeding majority of men "
Th* Rat.
Robinson Crusoe bad Just discovered
and throws' out silken threads. The
Tbe rat's sins are manifold.
Tbe human footprints on his tslaud.
“Then why do you ask me bow my
silk Is formed In a fluid condition and health is every time we meet and stand damage which be does in a year to
He followed them up
Issues from the body of the worm In a around and look laired if 1 tell you?”
crops, cargoes, stores, granaries, poul
They led him to a knoll overlooking
glutinous state, apparently In a single
try and game, dairies and outhouses, the sea on which somebody bad put up
thread. Krom this silk the worm con
foundations, walls and <lralunge can a bllllsiard with this Inscription paint
Permanent.
structs Its cocoon, an Interval of from
Bride of Some Months—My tempers not lie calculated exactly, but It must ed upon It:
three to five days being required to you say are trying.
be enormous. He I* ubiquitous. He
Use Hunk * Pill*
'complete Its Imprisonment In the en
swarms In fields, hedges, coverts, farm
He—At times.
For All Liver Trouble*.
velope. In order that the silken strands
25
Cent* a Bottle.
yards,
cellars,
sewers,
d«x-ks
and
ships.
"1 would not bare you worn out
may not be subjected to the danger of with them. If you cared to be releas He Is clever In getting out of difficul
Owing to tbe avarice and greed of
breakage by the moth emerging from ed from"—
ties, extremely courageous, able to tbe publishers, however, who refused
the cocoon, the cocoons are steamed
“Ob. no: not nt all: uot a minute exist on almost any kind of food and to lncor|xirate this Incident in tbe story
till the Inclosed Insects are dead. After I don't feel so even when I am cross. horribly prolific.—LondoZ Hpectator.
unless paid regular advertising rate*. It
this the silk may be wound off.—New I'm no ninety day volunteer. I enlist
was omitted, and the book went to
York American.
Th* Retort Direct.
press In the garbled aud Incomplete
ed for the war "—Life.
"See here." cried tbe artist, who had form with which tbe reading public 1*
Exasperating, Truly.
come to complain about tbe materials familiar.—Chicago Tribune.
Not Disappointed.
Mrs Higsley—Clara. I must .nsist
“A young frieml of mine." remarked be had bought, "1 can't imagine any
that you send young Mr Granley away a bum«>risL "got married last month. thing worse than your paints.”
Th* Fir*» Monotheist*.
earlier
It was long after 11 o'clock He said to me the other day:
“That'* strange,” replied the dealer
So far as we know, tbe Egyptian
last night when yon closed the front
“
Don't
you
ever
use
your
Imagination
"'When I married Mamie I thought
priests were file first monotheist*.
door after him. Clara—1 know, mam She was an angel. But.’ be added. ‘I on your palntlng?"-«Exchange.
There existed In Egypt two kind* of
ma. and 1 have made up my mind a soon found out my mistake.’
religion* tea« blng. the "exoteric” and
dozen different times to make him leave
Hopele**.
the "esote.lc," that for the masse* of
“'Disappointed?' I asked.
early. but he has a way somehow of
"We wish, madam, to enlist your aid the pwiple and that for the select few.
“'Disappointed? Nit!" he cried. ‘I
in influencing your husband for the the little company of tbe “wise.” The
always giving the Impression long aft- fotiml she was a go«xl cook.' ”
public g«x>d. He bolds tbe key to a masse* were |x>lythclst*. believing In s
tr the shank of the evening has passed
very Interesting situation »nd "—
that he Is Just about to say something
multitude of gods, while the few be
Doubly Exciting.
one baa been waiting for. It's awful
"I don't see bow I can be of any as lieved only In one god. of whom Oslri*.
“Dorothy always begins a novel in
sistance to you. John never could find head of tbe popular deities. wa* but •
exasperating!—St Ix>uls Republic.
the middle."
a keyhole."—Houston Post.
weak reflection.-New York American.
"What's that for?'
“Why. then she baa two problem*
Idl* Curiosity.
"Why are you calling up the various to be excited over-bow the story wtb
Frenzied Arithmetic.
Stand* For Many.
Teacher—Now, Tommy, if your fa
end and bow It will tiegin."
hospitals?”
Boy-Cow la a noun, feminine gen
"My friend Snigglebat assured me
ther bad twenty dozen egg* In bl* der, third person singular, and stand*
A Chance.
he'd pay me that *5 today or break a
Itore and found that eighteen of them for Mary.
Husband-My colleague la the moat were bad. bow much would be lose?
leg. and I want to find ont which leg
"Blind* for Mary?” asked tbe master
Insatiable man I ever saw. He want* tommy—Nothin'. You don't know pa. | In aatonlnbmenL
be broke.”—Kansas City Journal.
everything he sees
Wlfe-Can't you -Pathfinder.
"Ye*, sir.” responded the nrrhtn.
Introduce our daughter to him?—Lxw-
with ■ grin, "for If tbe cow didn't
Easy.
stand for Mary bow could Mary milk
Lady (on street»—Do you know where don Mall
Th* Mean Part.
Johnny Tucker Ilves, my little boy?
Phil O. Bopber—Don't worry, old tbe cow?"-I,ondon Express.
The average man'a way to economtaa man. Chicken* always come borne to
Little Boy—He ain't home, but If you
give me a nickel I'll find him for you. la to quit spending miocy on one thing roost, you know. Discouraged Friend
Borne family tree* seem never t*
Lady-All right. Now. where is be? • nd begin to spend tt on another — —Yea, after they bare laid tbelr eggs bear anything but lemon*. - DalU*
New Tork Pres*.
tn some other fellow'* bern — Judge
■•wa.
.i
A GREAT WRESTLER.
ASCENSION ISLAND.
A Fowl That Won a Battl*.
A singular story is told of a gallant
cock w hose moral Influence at a crit
ical moment during the buttle of St.
\ lnceut bel|>ed to save a British man-
of-war from the hands of tbe enemy.
The fowl lu question formed part of
the live stock of the Marlborough, a
vessel wbieb bad suffered so severely
that her captain was considering tbe
advisability of striking bls flag. Tbe
ship was entirely dismasted, while tbe
chief officers bad been carried below
severely wouuiied. and tbe crew, with
out auybody to cheer them up, were
beginning to grow sullen under tbe
heavy tire of th«' enemy, to wbieb they
were hardly able to respond
At this
emergency a shot struck tbe coop in
which tbe fowls were couttned. Tbe
only surviving occupant, a cock, find
ing blmself at liberty, fluttered up
aud perched blmself on tbe stump of
tbe main mast and surveyed tbe »eene
of carnage around him. Tbeu. flapping
his wings in defiance, he began to crow
vociferously.
He was answered by
three hearty and exhilarating cheers
from the crew, who till bad a good
jiugli and. with spirits thus renewed,
lontinued tbe action with a vigor that
lasted until u turn In tbe battle res
cued them from their tight position.—
London Cbronl. ie.
On* Plac* In This Buoy World Wher*
Money I* Useless.
Now and tbeu one bears of out of
tbe way plncea where tbe conventions
of life, ar they are understood, do not
exi t Oue of these is where money is
uselea*. Tbls Is Ascension island, lu
tbe Atlantic.
Tbls island Is the property of the
Rritlsh admiralty and la governed by
■ captalu of tbe royal uavy. There Is
no private pro|«erty In land, so there
are no rents, tuxes, etc. Th«' flock*
and herds are public property, aud
the meat killed is Issued in rations
So are the vegetables growu on tbe
farms.
When a fisherman makes a cutch he
brings It to the guard room, where It
Is issued by the sergeant major. The
only private pro|s>rty are fowls and
pigeons. Even tbe wild donkeys are
under government control. They are
listed on the hooka of the paymaster
and are handed over at stock taking.
The population consists of a few
bluejackets, a compauy of marines ami
some Krn<* from Sierra Leone
Ther« a marine can do anything
The muleteer Is a marine; so are tbe
gardeners rhe shepherds, the stock
men. the groom*. the «nnsons. th«' car
penters ami the phimliers. Even the
Cigar Smok*.
Island trapisr. who gets rewards for
The stale smell of cigar smoke Is
tbe tails of rats. Is a mariue.—Ex peculiarly unpk'Hsaut and peculiarly
change.
difficult to get rl«l of. It clings to the
curtains aud to most of the articles of
DEAN SWIFT’S CHANCE.
furniture which present any sort of an
absorbent surface. It is uot so to tbe
Hl* Marriag* of a Country Coupl* same extent with cigarettes or with
Caught In a Storm.
pipes. In the case even of n single
It is related of the whimsical Dean cigar liooks. pa;>ers and textiles reek
Swift that on one occasion when of Its stale flavor, and tbe room re
caught In a shower of rain lie took quires abundant airing before that fla
shelter under a wide spreading troe. vor Is completely eliminated. This ef
where he found a party of yoting peo fect, we are told, may lie traced to the
pie waltiug for th«* storm to cease.
fact that a cigar produces pungent
One. a girl, was weeping, and the aromatic oils in greater abundance
dean learned that she was on her way than a cigarette or a pipe. With the
to church to marry a young fellow cigarette oils are probably burnt even
who was with her
if they are formed, while lu the pipe
In the
The piirt.v were walking, as was they condense lu the stem.
then the custom In country districts, cigar they seem to lie chiefly discarded
but owing to the storm it »««emed very into the air. In the form of a cigar
much as If the ceremony would not tobacco would appear to produce more
oils than In the form of a cigarette
bike place that day.
“Never mind." said tbe dean; “I’ll or when burnt lu a pipe.—Loudon Lan
marry you.”
cet
He took up his prayer book aud
Parry’s Big Gun*.
there and then |>erformed the cere
Commodore Perry had uot yet elec
mony At the finish be tore a leaf out
of his pocketbook and with a pencil trified a grateful natiou with Ills Im
wrote and signed a certificate, which mortal message. "We have met tbe en
he handed to the bride. Beside* the emy, and they are ours.” While tbe
names and the date, there was tbe fol battle was In progress tbe sound of
the guns was heard at Cleveland,
lowing:
about sixty miles away lu a direct line
Under a tree In stormy weather
I married thl* man and woman together. over the water Tbe few settlers there
Let none but him who rule* the thunder
were expecting the buttle aud listened
Sever thl* man and woman asunder.
with Intense Interest
Finally the
— Reynolds' Newspaper.
souuds censed. They waited for a re
newal. Noue came; the lull was pain
A Bungler.
ful. Then they knew the buttle was
ne was a tweutletb century bustling over; but tbe result—ah, that was tbe
builder, and under Ills auspices cottages point. One old fellow, who bad beeu
and buildings seemed to Bprlng up like lying flat with bls ear to the ground,
mushrooms.
soon settled that point. Springing up.
"Please, sir.” said one of bls fore he clapped Ills bands aud shouted:
men. rushing up to bint one morning "Thank God!
They are whipped!
in a state of mental collapse, "one o' They are whipped!"
the new house* has fallen down in the
"How do you know?" the other* in
night."
quired.
"What!" he roared. "You mean to
"Heard the big guns lust!”
say that one of iny well built, desirable
Perry's gnus were tbe heaviest
residential houses has come to grief?
Ab. I suppose you took tbe scaffolding
Turning a Tight Scr*w.
down before you put on the wall pa
Any oue who bus attempted to re
per!"
move a very tight screw knows wbat
“Yes. sir."
a very difficult business It Is. After
"Well, wbat can you expect, yon straining aud twisting for a con
rank outsider? Call yourself a fore siderable time the operator frequent
man!
Get off tbe works!
You're ly ends by losing bls temper and
sacked!"—Loudon Globe.
destroying tbe bite of tbe screw,
wbieb remains fixed n* tightly as ever.
With tbe aid of a pair of pinchers, how
Two Right* and ■ Wrong.
A Camdou shot* man sold a pair of ever, tbe affair Is quite a simple one.
shoes recently to a woman and after Place the screwdriver lu position aud
she had left tbe store discovered that then catch hold of tbe blade with tbe
he had made tbe mistake of giving pinchers Just above the head of tbe
the customer two rights Instead of a »crew. Press the screwdriver tirinly
right aud left as Is customary. Rush aud at the same time twist round the
ing after tbe woman, be offered to blade with the pinchers. Tbe tightest
moke the'wrong right, but was curtly screw will yield Immediately to this
Informed that the customer was satis sort of persuasion.
fied. as she had a wooden leg on the
left side unyhow nnd needed only
Bird Dog*.
rights. Now the dealer considers him
Bird dogs bave been known a* such
self fllmflumm«*«!. la'cauae for the price for only about three or four centuries.
of one pair of shoes lie lias really *u|i- Ho far as we know, the Duke or North
plie«l the customer with two pairs.— umberland. sixteenth century, wa* th*
first trainer of bird dogs. The duke
Kennela-e Journal.
was followed by others who trained
dogs to "*et” bird*, but It wa* not till
Th* Oth*r Half I* Waiting.
One of the most pitiable sights In tbe the beginning of tbe nineteenth cen
world Is that of people who are using tury that any reliable record of a dls-
only a small bit of their ability while tluct brand of bird dog* can lie found.
tbe rest of it Is waiting to be used. It Tbe Gordon setter wus founded by the
I* still Ineffective becausi* of tbe many Duke of Gordon about 1800.—New
little weaknesses or peculiarities, tbe York American.
had habits or the lack of preparation j
A Retort D'eccurteou*.
which handicap* and makes practically
Ineffective the whole life. How pltla- I A young lady full of good deed* no
ble to see splendid talent fine ability, ticed tbe tongue of a horse bleeding
everywhere tied down by coinparatlve- and wltli a use of technical term* too
little appreciated said to tbe cabby,
ly little things! Success Magazine.
“Cabby, your borne ha* hemorrhage.”
“It's 'I* tongue'* too large for bl*
A Good Memory.
mouth.” said tbe cabby and added *en-
“Excuse me. sir, but haven't we met tentlously. “Like some young ladle*.”—
before? lour face 1* strangely famil London Globe.
iar."
"Yea. madam, our host Introduced u*
Good Term*.
to each other Just Is-fore dinner"
"I'm sure we »hall be on good terms.”
“Ah. I wa* positive I bad seen you said the man wbo bau Just moved Into
somewhere! I never forget a face.”— tbe nelghlxirlKHs) to the corner grocer.
Exchange
"No doubt of It. sir. e*|>evlally.'' he
-V------------------------
added a* an afterthought, "a* tbe
Th* Oman.
term* are cash."—lxmdon Telegraph.
Mr. Newlywed-But. my love, why
• r* you weeping? Mr*. Newlywed- I
Child Managamant.
Ob. Jobn. John! I Just peeped Into
I don't like punishment*. You will
tbe kitchen and saw that cook baa i
never torture a child Into duty, but a
»n her traveling gown. — Harper's
sensible child will dread tbe frown of
Weekly.
• Judicious mother more than all the
rods, dark rooms and scolding school
In Nln*»«*n Something El**.
mistress«'* In tbe universe.—Wbite.
The dead man found on tbe fifty-
five story building I* believed to bave 1
Sl**pl*s* Pari*.
fallen from a neighboring roof. He
Parisians do oot know any longer
waa terribly crushed —Bottces* Maga
what real deep, restoring sleep I* It
zine
Is tbe lack of thl* which I* giving mod
ern generation* tbelr colorle** lip*,
He that buy* wbat be doe* oot want
will soon want wbat be can let buy.— , pale face* and feverish ey*l—Echo de
Blmmon*
■ I Paii*.