TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, MAY 7« 19°^
I
ASSASSINATIONS.
A BILL IN CONGRESS.
LITERARY EULLS.
SAVED BY THE MUD.
CURES FOR LOVE,
I
fiages .nd Wrl^TwHh Widely Dif
fering Prescription».
Absence is one of tbe means of curing
love Two thousand years ago Ov|d
ad lsed bis readers who wished to
cure themselves of an unlucky attach
ment to flee the capital, to travel, hunt
or till the »oil.
-Love,” paid Coleridge, is a local
anguish. 1 am fifty miles away and
not half so miserable.”
But other meu have found that ale |
seuce Increases love. La Rochefoucauld
probably hit upon tbe truth when he
said that "absence destroys weak pas
sions. but increases strong ones, as the
wind extinguishes a candle, but blows
up a fire.” If the love is all fancy and
has little strength it may be cured by
personal contact with tbe object. But
the safer plnu perhaps Is to keep out
of the way: heuce travel Is a good ex
pedient. Business perhaps Is a better
one. Ovid said, "If you desire to end
your love employ yourself and you will
conquer, for love flees business."
Still another expedient Is reflection
upon the unhappiness of married life.
A man In search of this view can find
It everywhere. Addison said that
"beauty soon grows familiar to tbe
lover, fades ln bls eye and palls upon
the sense,” and Hazlltt that, though
familiarity may not breed contempt, It
takes the edge off admiration."
Goethe said. “With most marriage It
does not take long for things to assume
a very piteous look.” But none of these
men married happily. Goldsmith said,
“Many of tbe English marry ln order
to have one happy month In their
Ilves,” and Colley Cibber, “Oh. how
many torments lie in the small circle
of a wedding ring!”
But undoubtedly the best way to get
rid of one love Is to have another.
"All love may be expelled by love as
poisons are by other poisons,” says
Dryden. Heine says: "The most effec
tive antidote to woman Is woman. In
such a case the medicine Is often more
noxious than the malady, but it Is at
any late a change, and In a disconso
late love affair a change in the Inamo
rata Is unquestionably the best policy.”
th«
Crim*« That Hav« Changed th« His Th« Method by Which a Measure la For Instance, the “Groan That Gurgle» Exciting El.ph.nt Adv.ntur. In
Heart
of
Africa.
tory of th« World.
Transformed Into Law.
From the Slain.”
During a hunting trip in Africa A.
Step by step throughout the world's
On a day set for the consideration of
Macaulay once reviewed a poem In
history assassination has beeu a factor the bill the house goes Into committee I which a climax of absurdity was reach- Henry Savage Landor had a which he
escape from two elephants
In determining the course of events of the whole. A chairman appointed I ed with this line:
was »«uixug.
stalking. He .......
had - got to witbin .
was
I
And
hear*at
each
groan
that
guigies
from
by
the
speaker
presides.
The
bill
Is
and In molding the life of nations.
ten yards of the male e'-rphant and.
the «lain.
read
by
sections
and
clauses
after
gen
Frequently the assassin's weapon
The poetic license which lets a groan taking careful aim. pulled the trigger.
which sent a ruler to death has sent eral debate has closed, and any mem
lu
her may offer amendments. All voting gurgle from a slain man is capable of The story of what followetl 1 b told
Widest
upon the world’s stage a successor
ec.
In committee Is by rising, The yeas letting him walk luto town from the Mr. Landor’s book “Across
whose career set irrevocable milestones and nays are not taken.
Held of battle, collect the amount of Africa.
The cartridge never went off. but un
upon the pathway of the peoples of the
When the bill has been gone through his life insurance policy and band It
world. Especially was this true In and all amendments have been voted to bls widow. It brings to mind th«* fortunately my kresh. who relied on
those days wbeu conquest was the upon, the committee rises and the heroic warrior of whom it is said that the effectiveness of my weapon, fired
guiding star of the rulers of the world. chairman reports the bill back to the “thrice he slew tbe slain" and the Irish at the same moment with bis match
Probably one of the most Important house, with the amendments. The member of parliament who convulsed lock. We were such a short distance
from tbe animal that he actually bit
and early assassinations wns that of house then votes upon them either sin the house of commons by exclaiming him In the head. I shall never forget
that
he
would
die
as
a
soldier
flrst
and
gly
or
In
gross
and
by
yeas
and
nays
Philip of Macedon, which occurred lu
my surprise when the elephant lifted
a man afterward.
the year 33B B. C. Not on.y did it ter if they are ordered to be. taken.
But. strang«* to say. Macaulay himself his trunk skyward and in his fury
The
bill
Is
then
«jrdered
to
be
en
minate the career of one of the most
has made a similar blunder. In his roared lh<e thunder
remarkable meu of bls time, but it led grossed—that Is, written out In a fair
A moment later the elephant, with
“Battle of Lake Ragillus” the follow
to the accession of Alexander the hand and Just as It Is after being I
his trunk extended, dashed after us. 1.
occur:
Great, an eveut which very likely amended—and to be read a third time. ing lines
The shouting of the «layers
I too. with my useless rifle in my hand,
would uot have taken place at all bad As It Is usually already engrossed It is
And screeching of the «lain.
having by that time acquired a high
Philip continued to rule aud bad him at once read the third time—by title, as
Did these writers make these slips rate of speed.
self selected tbe successor to Ills throue. be'ore—and passed.
Had I been running a race for tbe
The clerk takes the bill to the senate, In tbe heat of battle or were they
Philip of Macedon then was at the
testing tbe intellectual acuteness o world's record I am sure I should have
by
which
body
It
is
referred
to
the
height of bls power, and tbe buttle of
their readers? There is a story of : won the prize. It was amazing to me
Cbaeronea had made him the undisput finance committee. In due time the German schoolmaster who used to cal how fast I could run. as I confess my
committee.
If
It
sees
fit.
and
not
other
ed master of Greece. Wbeu leaving
out his class In history and begin t
blood turned perfectly cold when I
tbe theater lu which bis sister bad been wise. reports the bill back to the sen tell them of the Thirty Years' war. “Ye:
could feel the hoarse blowing trunk of
ate.
with
propositions
to
amend.
In
united in marriage to Alexander, king
children." he would say. “this Is a sub the elephant only a few rods behind
of Epirus, a man sprang toward the the senate the bill Is considered ‘‘as in ject In which I am especially Interest me. and 1 expected every minute to be j
ruler and thrust a sharp, short sword committee of the whole.’’ the amend- ed, as my grandfather often told nu crushed Into a Jelly.
into his side. As tbe assassiu ran to meats of the finance committee and about It. He was a well to do Innkeep
In that particular part of the country
ward a swift horse bis sandal caught other volunteer amendments are ac er. and one day as he was standing In these marshy plains are extraordinarily
in a vine stalk, aud his pursuers killed cepted or rejected, they are again his doorway a mounted soldier cairn sticky and slushy, so the moment I
him with their spears and tore him to voted upon when the bill Is reported galloping up at a furious rate. ’What's dashed Into the grass at the record
to the senate from the committee of
pieces.
the matter?’ asked my grandfather breaking speed at which I was travel
Olympias, his former wife, was said the whole, and the bill Is passed.
As the two bouses are not agreed ‘Matter enough.’ answered the dragoon. ing my feet stuck in the soft and slushy
to have aided lu the conspiracy. This
‘Don’t you know that the Thirty Years' mud. and I was precipitated with my
■ssasaiuutlou, oue of the earliest lu upon the bill, a committee of confer war has begun today?”’ At this point face and bands In the Blush, my rifle
point of time, bore a strong resem ence. usually consisting of three mem th«* ancleut pedagogue would pause and
sinking deep.
blance lu its surroundings to that bers of each branch of congress, Is ap surv«*y his class. Then a smile would
This was the supreme moment of ap
which claimed President Abraham Lin pointed. The committee, when It has overspread his rubicund countenance If prehension. I said goodby to the world
come
to
an
agreement,
reports
to
each
coln’s life. In both cases there was nil
a hand was raised aud a boyish treble and Imagined myself dead. No one
Individual murderer, the scene was a house, and ths acceptance of the re asked bow tbe dragoon knew tbe war
could have been more surprised than 1
port
Is
the
final
stage
of
the
bill
In
Its
theater, the act was doue with Incredi
would last thirty years. Perhaps our was when, a reasonable time to be
ble audacity in the presence of a large passage.
The measure Is now “enrolled"—that poets, too. would play the schoolmas killed In having elapsed. I got up again
concourse of people, uud the murderer
ter and smile If we should ask them
was crippled by a misstep after the Is. It Is printed In large, open type how It Is possible for the slain to groan and perceived the elephant a few yards j
off. cantering away in the opposite di
upon a parchment—and Is taken first to
fatal blow.
or screech.—George Seibel In Pittsburg rection.
In the history of ancient Rome there the house, where It Is signed by the Gazette-Times.
His back view was a great relief to
stands out one political assassination speaker; then to the senate, where the
me. He bad come to within two or
which marks tbe first occasion on rec vice president signs It. and finally to
three yards of where I had fallen and. [
THE STUPID SWAN
ord lu which tbe coutllcting economical the president, and makes the bill a
having himself sunk in the soft mud. |
CAPPING THE WIGS.
interests of different classes iu a re law.
Congress is notified that the bill has Graceful and Beautiful, the Bird I« a had turned around and struggled away,
public were settled by resort to tbe
leaving big circular footmarks, regular Official Visit of London's Lord Mayor
Nincompoop.
weapon of tbe assassin. This was the been approved, and the original copy
to the Law Courts.
To the mind of the avernge farmer holes four or five feet deep In tbe mud.
murder of Tiberius Gracchus, wblcb of the act Is deposited In the depart
•oou was followed by the enforced sui ment of state.—Edwin Tarrlsse in Har nothing which walks on two legs is
A curious survival of mediaeval cus
quite so stupid as a ben. He is mis-
cide of his brothel- Caius Gracebus. per's Weekly.
GOLD MADNESS.
tom Is witnessed in London on every
taken, though, for there still remains
This deed was the direct result of the
lord mayor's day. This Is an official
Full
of
Reminiscence.
that beautiful, graceful nincompoop, A Passion For Literally Reveling In visit of the lord mayor to the law
former's attempt to enforce an agrarian
At
the
different
army
stations
In
the
the Yellow Metal.
the common swan, The swan is so
law passed as an act of Justice to the
courts. In old times the sovereign
west It Is the practice for the officers stupid that It will stand In the shnllow
poorer «lasses of Roman citizens.
A singular passion for literally revel himself awaited at Westminster the
on
leaving
their
post
for
some
distant
part of a pond and allow the water to ing in gold is exhibited now and then coming of the lord mayor In a chariot
Iu the turmoil that attended the vot
ing of the trlb. s Tiberius was struck station to sell off everything they do freeze round Its legs till the Ice Is so by men who have suddenly become of state with sword bearer, mace hold
down to death by one of his owu col not care to keep. In connection with thick that it cannot lift Its feet and It rich. Some years ago a London jour er, chaplain and gorgeously liveried
leagues, a tribune of the peop e Tills this custom In "Reminiscences of a Sol Is stuck fast. Not Infrequently owners nalist who lind speculated In railroad coachmen and footmen. The forms
chapter of death was written in 133 dler's Wife” Mrs. Ellen Biddle tells an of these handsome but witless birds stocks netted £5,000 as the result of a have been changed, and the visit is
are compelled to chop away sufficient lucky venture. Drawing It in gold, the
B. C. History has dealt at length with amusing story.
There was a very estimable woman Ice to make It possible for them to fortunate man repaired to a hotel, emp now paid to the high court, but the
the assassluatiou of Julius Caesar on
spirit of the act remains, for the lord
the Ides of March—tbe 115th of the living nt the garrison, a veritable Mrs. withdraw their Imprisoned feet.
tied the bags of gold ln the bed and mayor opens his term in the Mansion
Malaprop.
She
told
us
of
some
Jew
The stupidity of the swan in this went to sleep literally In the sands of House with a ceremonial Involving rec
month—In the year 44 B. C.. aud of tbe
Import of this event In the liiHtuiy of elry she bad lost, and among the respect Is emphasized by the Intelli Tactolus. The man was so crazed by ognition of the supreme authority of
things
was
a
topaz
chain
with
a
beau
gence exhibited by ornamental ducks his good fortune that he found Inde the crown.
ancient Rowe.
when the weather turns cold. As scribable pleasure in reveling In a
At the time of the assassination of tiful "pendulum,”
The Instrument used for expressing
The
lady
held
an
auction
before
she
night comes on and the water begins golden bath.
Julius Caesar the Roman people had
this traditional Idea Is an old fash
left,
after
her
husband's
death,
and
to freeze the ducks liegln swimming
reached a degree of perversity ami de
Paganini, the violinist, when he re ioned cocked hat. When the lord may
generacy almost Impossible of modern when some silver plated knives were In a wide, well defined circle. Round ceived the proceeds of his concerts—he or In his splendid robes of office en
comprc^eiplou. Ills death had a most put up for sale she rose and In a sob and round they go during the entire Insisted upon being paid hi gold—used
ters the high court with bls retinue In
demoratlzng effect upon the people, blng voice said: "Oh, dear, no! I can night, keeping all the water within to wash his hands ln sovereigns.
costume he solemnly lifts his cocked
The hand of tbe master who might not sell them! They have been in dear that circle free from Ice. so that when
A French novelist. Soulle. wrote a
the day dawns they can float about book entitled "The Memoirs of the hat three times from his head and sa-
have controlled the unruly masses and John's mouth too often!"
lutes the lord chief J us tice and the
and
doze
In
the
sun.
Ducks
are
al
restrained the degenerate nobility lay
Devil." It took. The publishers paid
Lasting.
ways most active during the ulgbt and him for the first volume $10.000 in gold. justices.
palsied In death. Later events had
The Judges always wear robes and
"Your suggestion," said a depositor choose the day for sleeping.
their mainspring from this source, and
Tbe author carried the gold to his bed
But to return to the swan. If you room. poured It Into a footbath and en wigs when In court, For lord mayor's
the years from 37 to <8 A. I), were to the bank receiver, “offers very cold
marked by the assassinations of Tibe comfort. It Is a bachelor's comfort - find one of these birds some distance joyed for half an hour the excitement day they have also a flat black cap,
from the water and startle it. the swan of moving his feet to and fro In a bath which can be slipped over the top of
rius, Caligula, Claudius aud Nero.— that Is to say. no comfort at all.
"'What.' said a bachelor to a Bene will rush a few feet toward the pond of gold coins, smoking meanwhile the the wig. The lord chief Justice and his
New York Herald.
associates return the lord mayor's sa
dict, 'only married a year and already anil then drop down on the ground and biggest of Havanas.
I lute gravely, but do not take off their
so blue?'
try to go through the motions of swim
A Boston merchant of great wealth, black caps,
A Lost Compliment.
If they were to do this,
“ ‘Ah. but,’ groaned the Benedict. T ming, apparently unable lu Its fright believing certain symptoms Indicated
An emlneut singer of foreign birth
they would place the crown on a level
whose appetite Is such that It almost never Imagined that a wife would to realize that It has not yet reached that he would become Insane, consulted
the water.
a specialist and. under his advice, l>e- of equality with the municipality.
rivals the fame of his voice dined at a prove so expensive.'
"The bachelor patted the blue mar
The lord mayor, with his retinue,
Neither Is the common swan a good came an Inmate of a private asylum.
table where all the women were rea
sonably mature, with the exception of ried man on the back In a consolatory fighter. The black swan, although For twelve years there his recreation then visits the judges in other courts
way.
one-half Its size. Is Invariably the vic was piling up gold coins and then to Invite them to the Guildhall ban
the nhieteenyear-old daughter of Ills
" ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘a wife is an expen tor in the combats which are some knocking them over. At times he quet. When the rustling noise of the
host, who sat at the great man's left,
The artist paid avid attention to his sive article, that Is true. But then times eugaged lu and generally kills washed his hands In gold eagles and procession is beard each Judge fumbles
plate until the latter stages of the re- you must remember that she lasts a its antagonist. The black swan usual'.y half eagles. At the end of tile long se In a drawer, pulls out a little square
provokes the fight, too. for It Is rather clusion he returned to his counting of black cloth and crowns his wig
past, when the dishes Is-gin to come very long time.’"
a quarrelsome bird.—Washington Star. room and In twelve months confirmed with It. The lord mayor takes off bls
alowly enough for him to engage in
Aristocracy.
the thoroughness of his recovery hv three cornered hat three times, and the
conversation with the young person, to
What subsists today by violence
Do Fi»h F«el Pain?
whom In the Latin manner he paid a
amassing $500,000.—st. Louis Republic. Justice on the bench bows, but remains
covered.—New York Tribune.
How sensitive to pain are fish? A
Latin compliment, assuring her In her continues tomorrow by acquiescence
An Effective Stage Speech.
private ear that to him she ''seemed and Is pen>etuate<l by tradltlou till at correspondent writes: "I have a small
last the hoary abuse shakes the gray pond which Is stocked with trout. I
like a flower among vegetables."
Siguor Grasso, the ictor. who Is
U
Mors Oratory Wanted.
"Then I can scarcely hope to occupy hairs of antiquity at us and gives Itself keep an accurate account of those I looked upon as one of the glories of
Hie remark made on a prolix Scotch
out
as
the
wisdom
of
ages.
Thus
the
catch and note when I lose any. One Italy, made an effective
first place In your thoughts at dinner."
-------- ‘ response
vopuuot to counsel when some one observed that
clearest dictates of reason are made morning a big rainbow trout broke the the enthusiasm of an Argentine nu- be was “surely wasting a great deal of
she responded demurely.
And the emlneut singer could not to yield to a long succession of follies. worm book with which I had booked dience after a performance. Adranc- time Is among tbe wittiest of bar an
think of an answer IIur|>er's Weekly. And this Is the foundation of the him. That evening I hooked and land Ing to the front of the stage, he drew ecdotes: "Time! He has long exhaust-
aristocratic system at the present day. ed a goo<l trout, also with worm tackle, from his pocket a letter.
mt t,"le an<1 11118 eucroacL,etl upon eter-
Its stronghold, with all those not Im which proved to be my friend of the
"l-hls letter." he said, "Is from my
Had Practiced.
mediately
Interested
In
It.
Is
the
rev-
morning,
as
right
down
In
his
stomach
mother ln Catania. She is eighty rears
Cardinal Richelieu once listened to
!t Is seldom, to do the Judges Justice,
an earnest seruiou by a shoemaker, ereuce of antlqulty.—Edward Everett. was the broken gut and hook. and. be of ape Then as his eyes molsiened that they encourage this falling In
side this. In his lip was a March brown he added. "I cannot thank you as I counsel. But In Cockburn’s memoirs
The man was simple and unaffected
Satan T«rrifi«d.
fly hook which, according to my fish would, but I feel that I should like to «'e are told how a dull and common-
and apparently not at all dismayed by
There
Is
as
great
genius
displayed
In
ing book, must have lieen there many embrace every one of you ns I embrace Place advocate was almost frightened
the presence o* the cardinal.
advertising
as
In
the
higher
branches
weeks. A fish with a fly book In bls u>e page on which my mother Us sign out of his Wits by an observation of
"How evil id you preach to me with
of
literature.
No
problem
daunts
the
mouth, a worm hook In his stomach ed her name." The enthusiasm of the I-ord Meadowbank, who thought bls
so much confidence?" Klchelleu asked
modern
advertising
man.
and ready to gulp down bait must be audience was transformed to delirium style undignified: “Declaim, sir. Why
huu In evident surprise
In the window of a little book store quite Impervious to what we mortals ~Parle Cor. London Mall.
"Mouslgneur." replied the shoemaker.
don t you declaim? Speak to me as if
"I learned my sermoti by reciting It to tn Eighth avenue. New York, was re call pain."
I were a popular assembly.”—st James'
Different Star».
a field of cablaige heads In the midst cently heaped a great pile of Bibles
Gazette.
marked
very
low.
Never
before
were
■
Don't
Bea-
Malic«.
An
"Auld
Kirk"
man
was
|»i
ng
of which was oue red one. and this
A man who harlsirs ma'ace la liable shown through the new
practice enabled me to preach to you." Bibles offered at such a Itargaln. and
Why the Band Left.
above them all In big letters was the to commit murder. A msu who hates hvterlan church la a town In tbe west
First Actor-I hear that the orchee-
Inscription:
another
a
long
time
Is
sure
to
get
Into
of Scotland. Gazing at the stars paint uÍlv“thy0Um,heater Was 9acke<1 ln «
Doing Vary Well.
8atan tremble« when he see«
a fight with him sooner or later, and ed on the celling, he inquired their bo^the other night. What wa. the
•‘How's your son luaklug out In busl-
Bibles «old ■■ low «• the««.
when the fight finally cornea there Is meaning.
neea?" aaked the tiret capitalist.
likely
to lie mischief done. Men watt wh^’the’m
reP'y- “rou know
"Very well Indeed rvptl’J !t« other;
W«ll Grounded.
‘»e
"he's got a quarter of a mllllor.*
"Is my son getting well grounded In for years for the first blow, and the st,h™.l^rl^k ,aX-H*
"Why. you started bliu with a mil the clasaics?” asked the anxious mil first blow Is liable to be with a deadly
Instrument. Don't waste your energy
" ¿bwrved
m«n. "ye ken
lion, didn't you?”
lionaire.
"Yes."
-Tea. and It’s two months now since
"I would put It even stronger than In hating people. Such a course would It« thiZ-~TnT""rklrkan'1 oon’T
on »h® th'i? e"' ,h*T were ,01d t0 Pl*? some-
he started operations In Wall street'*— that." replied the private tutor. "1 may make yon wretched and flually get yon cMHn- .V h"e •TO"r
cMlta . and we ve oors In tbe poolpit!" thing appropriate, and tbe Judge had
rhlladelphla Trees.
say that he Is actually stranded on Into trouble.—Atchison Globe.
them."—Chicago Recon! Herald.
... _ H,r s*««t Friend.
Water.
A Human Failing.
EMer-T’”‘ l'ica of his pretend-
Schoolmaster (at end of object les-
"Pa. what la the meaning of Incon
Certainly Would.
sistency F' aaked Freddy
City Man (to villager!—Wouldn't It •oni—Now. can any of you tell me X rm "/ i6"' *” “r,,! Ml” pcP-
PWT-RMIcUloUs! Miss Fldor W
..
r " amt
..2 Grubby
"
“Inconsistency, my son." explained open your eye« If you were to look what Is water? Small
IL »hough? Miss Pep” a-Y~ T
.
A Sh,rP Thrust.
pa. "means a man who growls all day acn«s at that lot there and see one of Vrvhln—Please, teacher, water's wbat
-J™"“ ,rj’1Q8
hard to be a
M
If
you
’
d
buy
gray
hair.
ExchangT
turns
black
wbeu
you
puts
your
and then goes home and kicks the do* our city skyscrapers covering It? Vil
'«nds
In
It
—
Dundee
Advertiser.
foe barking at night"-Exchange.
lage Man- Waal. I gtiees I would, sew
in' as I've got twenty head s' cattM
N..
The Aambesl. a great river two mTes (rasin' there.-Bohemian
The attire of some men would____
Me. falta sheer 420 feet Matara la
•o Indicate that their tallciv can't tel!
nly IM feet high and about half a
Walt is a hurd word to thi hungry. the diCerence let ween a fit and a coo
—•German Proverb.
•ulslon.—New York Times.
A r
pound
care will _ 4
I
’uini of carp
1’>’»>e.ofde!>t.-D.n^1^b.P8^ «
TRIBE OF CRIMINALS.
The Msghsya’s Gr«at««t prjje (| .
easeful Burglary.
The Magbaya Is boru In M lr-
field and schooled to theft from /
Infancy. He lives without »belter
food for the morrow, perjietually
lug from encampment to eucan41M’t
chas«»d by tbe police and execrated b
the villagers. Ills greatest pride b ,
successful burglary and a prolong^
drinking bout bls most coveted re
ward.
Jail offers no terrors to the dom it
Is merely the result of being a ¿g.
gler at bls trade. The first attempt to
reclaim the Magbaya dome In cbam-
pa run was made by Mr. (now sir (,
Henry. He found the greater number
of the adult members of the tribe ver«
ln Jail. Every police officer wa« held
responsible If any doms were found la
bis Jurisdiction, with tbe result that
as soon as a dom was released from
Jail be was usually returned thlthet
under the liad livelihood section«.
Agricultural settlements were eatib.
Ilsbed for the trllie, but they do a«
seem to have been very successful u
civilizing agencies. The settlement«
serve as bouses for the women and
children, but the men are seldom found
In them.
Tbe females generally hawk stolen
property lu the villages and act u
spies.—Bengal Gazetteer.
A WINDOW AND A WAR.
Costly Incident of th« Reign of Louia
XIV. of Franc«.
A terrible war was once caused by a
window.
It was In the days when Louis XIV,
“Le Grand Monarque,” was dazzling
Europe. Ills minister, Louvola, wai
superintending ou the kiug's behalf
the building of the palace of the Tri
anon In the purk at Versailles. Louli
Inspected the buildings oue afternoon
and declared one of the windows to ba
out of shape and smaller than thereat
This Louvols denied, and the king
had the window measured, with th*
result that lie was proved to be right
and he openly liefore ull the court rldt
culed Louvols.
But the minister had his revenge
for with the angry ejaculation that be
would find better employment for a
monarch than that of insulting bls fa
vorites, he embroiled France by his
insolence in a quarrel with the power«,
which only ended years later In tba
peace of Rys wick after a war wblcb
entailed the loss of many lives and tba
exi>endlture of large sums of uionoy.-
reareou's Weekly.
Wonderful P«w*.
“Are you aware,” said the antiquary,
"that there are certain church pews to
which the contribution basket Is tier«
passed ?"
“No.”
"It Is a fact. These pews are la rer
tain old churches In Philadelphia, Io
Boston and in a number of New Eng
land villages. They have beeu rented
on a noncontribution basket basts for
a couple of centuries. ' In the past, It
Is said, men slept In church. They even
played draughts there, and the advent
of the contribution basket-would have
been an amazing Interruption to them.
So for a very much higher rental they
obtained pews that the collectors Ig
nored. These pews In churches that
like to keep up the quaint custom« ot
the past are still maintained."—Cincin
nati Enquirer.
Sarcastio.
It was evening, and the conductor
rang the bell violently as the oinnlbM
crossed over at the bank. The driver
drew up with a sudden Jerk. No one
stirred, and after waiting for a second
or two the conductor ran up the »tain
two steps at a time.
“Didn’t you say you wanted th«
Mansion ’Ouse?" he demanded of •
large and reposeful lady In front
"Yes.” she said without making «nJ
attempt fo rise.
"Well." responded the conductor, fif
you still want It you'd better conn
down, ’cause I can’t shift it any closer
for tuppence, and" (with cutting em
phasis) "the 'osses Is tired of waiting."
—London Scraps.
Courts In ths Open.
One of the revising barristers hi tba
north of England held his court cadet
a vicarage
garden,
a tree In _______
__ _
_____ , the vlllag*
schoolroom not being at his dlspo**'-
Tills Is not by any means the first
court held In the open. Deborah In the
book of Judges. It will be remembered,
gave Judgment under a palm tree.
Admirals, according to Prynne. M*
their courts "close by the flux and re
fiux of the sea," and in the flfteentk
century the admiralty court used to
nit on a quay at Southwark.—Loads*
Law Journal.
Waste of Energy.
“You never change your mind ah*»
anything, do you?"
"What’s the use?” rejoined the «$*
ttet. ”1 found years ago that I *•*
Just as liable to be wrong the »«co*»
time as 1 was the first.”-Wasbln$tt*
filter.
Th« Elop«m«nt.
Muriel—When you eloped *lt#
George, did you leave a note telUM
your people where you had gone?
brlelle—Why. of course. If I
bow would papa have known whereto
send us any money ?—Illustrated BIN-
The Attraction.
"Miss Skylie appears to have lost *•
attractiveness for the gentlemen, ' •**
one girl.
“Oh. no." replied tbe other; •*•
didn't lose It Her father lost It •
the Stock Exchange.”
A good and faithful judge pr***
the honest to the expedienL - Hora» /