A Lesson In Grammar.
Tn a certain mountainous region the
teachers are appointed with little ques
tion concerning their grammatical
orthodoxy. Occasionally, however, a
wave of school reform sweeps through
the valleys, and uudesired examina
tions are thrust upon embarrassed ped
agogues.
It was during one of these periods of
Intellectual discomfort that the follow
ing sentence was given: "The bird
flew over tbe bouse." Accompanying
It was tbe query. "Is 'flew' a regular
or an irregular verb?”
One teacher after another shook tits
head hopelessly despite the slow,
thought Inspiring fashion in which tbe
examiner repented the perplexing fact
that “The — bird — flew — over — tbe -
bouse.”
Finally a man rose lu tbe rear. and.
with the assurance of oue who puts
his trust In logic and a practluil knowl
edge of natural history, be volunteered
a solution Said be:
“If that Idrd which flew over the
house was 11 wild goose. It went In a
straight, regular Hue. so the verb Is
regular
But if It was a |a*<kw>H>'i
that flew over the bouse, then It went
crooked, zigzag Hue. and »0 the
Is Irregular."
but the grammar bound exam
were satisfied with this sensible
rational explunation. — Youth's
(,'ornpa niou.
Nature's Vengeance.
Pliny informs us that twelve cities
in Asia Minor were swallowed up In
one night. In the year 115 the city of
Antioch and a great part of the adia-
cent country were buried by au earth
quake. About 300 years after It was
again destroyed, aloug with 40.000 In
habitants, and after an interval of six
ty years was a third time overturned,
with the loss of not less than 60,000
souls. In 1692 the city of Port Royal,
in Jamaica, was destroyed by au earth
quake, and the bouses sank into a gulf
forty fathoms deep, in 1693 an earth
quake occurred in Sicily which either
destroyed or greatly damaged fifty-
four cities. The city of Catalonia was
utterly overthrown, 19,000 inhabitants
of the city perishing tn the ruins. In I
1755 Lisbon was destroyed by an
earthquake, and it buried under Its
ruins above 50,000 inhabitants. In Au
gust. 1822, two-thirds of the city of
Aleppo, containing a population of 200.-
(XX), were destroyed by an earthquake.
Thirty thousand of Its luhabitants were
buried in the ruins.
Held Down the Speaker.
The sanctity of the speaker Is an In
violatile law of parliamentary England,
yet ouce tbe necessities of the nation
were so great that au assault and bat-
tery bad to be mude upon his sacred
person. It was In the third parliament
of Charles I. that tbe angry commons
framed their petition of rights. This
cut at the very root of the king's pre
rogative. and among those in the house
who opposed It was Mr. Speaker. L'pon
Sir John Elliott moving its acceptance
the speaker essayed to leave the chair,
which would, of course, bave proved
fatal to the bill. But they were ready
for him, aud Hollis and Valentine seiz
ed him, one on each side, and literally
held him in the chair until the fer
mality of tile reading was over. So
vital was tlte petition considered that
Cromwell said in the lobby afterward,
"Had we been defeated I should have
left England tonight.”—London Chroni
cle.
When It comes to talking about flea»
tbe writer knows Just where be Is at.
When he was a boy the country
swarmed with them, and perhaps one
of the things be will remember longest
will be the sleepless nights and tbe tor .
ments that the fleas gave him when
sitting In Quaker meetings, where he
did not dare to scratch. For many,
years tbe people seemed to put up w'tb
them as an evil from which there was
no escape, yet there was an effi lent
remedy growing on every farm In the
shape of a molest little plant called
pennyroyal, which Is familiar to every
country bred boy. The odor of this
plant seems very offensive to many
kinds of Insects, A freshly bruised
bunch of tbe plant put in a small bag
and rubbed on tbe bed linen au.l then
left In the bed will evict the last flea
In a very few minutes. A few drops
of the essential oil of the plant, which
can lie got at any drug store, rubbed
on one's underclothing will drive them
from the person immediately and If
sprinkled about a room infested with
fleas will clear them out.—Forest and
Stream.
Soma Knowledge
Nobody know, 3 MV-
bow - -
you do not know, and
know. But if y««
nobodv knows that you do
- not know.
and you know that nobody knows that
yon don't know, it is very I’1«/’“*
know mu»
that iucj
they —
don't
know tba J .
kiiow
— • —
don't know that they don t know that
vou don't know. No man knows bow
much he really knows until be know,
how much other people know that be
doesn't know. To "know thyself Is
real.v all there Is wo: th knowing, and
since no man really knows himself and
there Is no other knowledge worth
knowing and we do not know the only
thing worth knowing we really know
nothing. But to know that we know
nothing Is knowledge greater than the
knowledge that some people think they
have when they really know nothing
and think they know something.
Therefore it Is greater to know noth-
Ing and know It than to think we know
something when we know nothing. So
If you know nothing and yon think you i
do, anl I know nothing and din t think
I do. 1 know more than yon. It is
therefore well that we know that we
don't know.—Exchange
Before the Mirror.
Somewhat Mixed.
Pennyroyal and Flea».
Opened Up for Business
SAPPINGTON & CO.
A Fall Line of Groceries,
Flour, peed,
Tinuuare,
and Crockery.
We CUant all Kinds of Produee.
Call and See Us
folsen Building > Tillamook Botti
Margaret Durham «us the latest ar-I S
He Is one of those persons with a
mud passion for figuring out "How rival at Miss Simmons' select boarding
much,” “How long," etc., and was wait school, and. being pretty and well
ing for bls wife, who was adjusting dressed, she was popular.
her hat before the mirror. They were
Would she be an usher at th» month
going to tbe theater and had ten min ly murleale? Margaret was horribly
utes to catch their train. Presently a ■ hy. She never could do It—oh. never!
Artistic Slips. • '
sparkle came into bls eye, and he fish But the chosen five elected her for the
It Is a frequent matter of lamenta
ed a pencil and paper from his pocket. sixth, so the evening found her a per
tlon on the part of artists that one of
That kind of man always has a pencil fect flutter of white frills and pink
their number may spend genius and
and paper even In bis evening clothes
bows (this was the pink musicale)
J. P. AüUEN, Proprietor.
I "Do you know." be said presently,
time on a piece of work, only to fall
awaiting to receive the early comers.
i
conspicuously In small detail.
looking up at bis wife, who had finish Ear'll of the hardened five bore for
There Is u story that one Royal acade
ed adjusting her hat. "that I figure, ward au imposing auditor, and Mar
mician gave a baud five fingers and a
basing my figures on observation, th.it garet fouud herself inquiring of a very
Special Attention paid to Tourists.
thumb and that another painted a live
a girl from six to ten spends an aver ancient aud elegant old gentleman in a
A
First
Class
Table. Comfortable Beds and Accommodation.
lobster blight red.
age of seven minutes a day before her voice scarcely audible, “Sir, shall 1
The clever Goodall had been engaged
mirror, from ten to fifteen a quarter of show you to a scat?"
in painting u number of laborers drag
an hour, from fifteen to twenty twenty-
“What. wlmt. what?" demanded the
ging a huge stone across the desert
A A AAA. A A A A A A A. A. A A. A l A. A A
two minutes. A woman of seventy elderly party Irascibly, bolding his
wliim a man of science entering the
will have spent 5.862 hours, or eight hand to Ills ear.
studio said to him: "I say. Goodall, If
4 ,
A.
solid months, counting day and night.
“Sir.” screamed the flustered novice, St'ROPglETOR
I
you want those fellows to pull that
Now, a woman of your age has spent"— “shall I sew you to a sheet?"
stone you must double their numtier.
“Never mind what I've spent," she
Then
five
lace
handkerchiefs
were
Undodgeable
Taxes.
It would require Just twice as many
said coldly, removing her bat. "You crammed Into five tittering mouths,
“In the past,” said the tax assessor,
for the task.”
have spent fifteen minutes figuring It
But It Is not modern painters alone "governments were wiser. They levied out. and we hafe missed that train.”— while Miss Margaret bolted from the
scene of her discomfiture, and tbe five
who slip up on points of accuracy. taxes that could not be sworn off. St. Louis Republic.
were left to do the honors.—Harper’s
Even Albrecht purer In a scene repre There was, for Instance, the English
Weekly.
senting Peter denying Christ painted birth tax of the seventeenth century.
A Little Retouching.
Boiler Work, Logger’» Work and Heavy Forging.
one of the Roman soldiers In the act of A laborer paid 2 shillings as birth tax:
Tbe
wonders
of
photography
are
ever
A Breakfast In Siberia.
smoking Turner put a rainbow be a duke paid £30. You couldn't get 0» the increase. Nevertheless there I
Fine Machine Work a Specially.
“
I
spent
two
necks
lu
the
hut
of
a
side the sun. and In another picture he round it.
"Burials were taxed, according to are still some limitations to the power, Sltierlan savage a prisoner to tbe black
got fearfully tangled In the ship's rig
the station of the dead, from a shilling and skill of even the most expert pho-1 frost.” said an explorer. "Shall I ever
glug—Chicago Record Herald.
to £25. That, too, could not be dodged. tograpber. Mr. Hall is an amateur of forg t those two weeks? No, no! A
‘W wwl I
"Marriages were taxed. A duke to no mean attainments, and when bls old Slberl in breakfast comes to my mind.
Fixing a Photografter,
----------------------- -------
I
Aunt Hannah from Busbby came down We took It I. lug on our stomachs round
marry
paid
£ft0;
a
common
person,
Senator Stone of Missouri once made
to the city be secure ' a picture of her a kind of pie board, which was our ta
like
yourself,
paid
half
a
crown.
himself unpopular with a certain pho
"In those days you paid a tax on in her most characteristic pose—arms ble. T'le firs : dish was frozen weeds
tographer. The latter Individual ap
akimbo and mouth slightly open. When
peared at the senator's room at the every servant, on every dog. on every Aunt Hannah saw tbe first print she dipped lu seal oil and served with
capitol and announced that be was horse, on your carriage, your hearth, looked at It. held it off. drew It close large chunks of fresh blubber, The
there to take a picture. Stone expostu your windows, watches, clocks, wigs, I agalu aud then sat down to write her second dish was raw walrus, The
third dish was walrus bide, an inch
lated. but In vain. A few days later hair powder, plate, ribbons, brl 'ks, nephew:
thick and hairy. You swallowed It
the photographer again appeared pnd coal, gauze aud candles."—Cincinnati
Dear James—Yours with photograph whole, for ft was too tough to chew.
presented the pictures and also a bill Enquirer.
taken during my late visit Just received
In reply I would say I'm well enough Dinner was breakfast over again plus
for $10. Remembering how hopeless
pleased
with It for myself and your folks a hot meat, seal or reindeer, after the
A
Madman's
Strange
Belief.
was Ills argument against having the
But
in the one you send out to California hide course, Supper consisted of cold
An unfortunate maniac was confined to Emma
picture taken. Senator Stone decided It
I'd rather you'd straighten out
would be still more useless for him to tn one of tbe Scottish lunatic asylums, my elbows and let my arms hang. Af blubber and cold hide served with seal
his
particular
Infirmity
la'lng
an
un
fectionately.
AUNT HANNAH
oil. Don't wrinkle your nose and shud
decline to pay for them. So he wrote a
P. 8.- Perhaps you'd better close my der. In that Intense cold, the ther
check. After the man's name was on shakable belief that every day was mouth
a
mite
more,
as
Emma's
husband
mometer never alxtve 40 degrees below
the check he wrote the word "I’boto- Christmas day and that be was din to a stranger to me.
ing sumptuously on turkey or roast
zero. I liked that greasy food. You
grafter."
—Youth's Companion.
should have seen me munching away
When the man presented the check beef and a good slice of plum pud
at great soft ye'.ow balls of tat sim
nt the senate disbursing office for pay ding. Ills real diet, however, was of
And “Everybody Laughed."
ment. he was required to Indorse Hie the plainest, he being served twice
The following story was told by El ilar to duck fat.”
check and writs after his name. Just dally with a dish of oatmeal porridge. len Thorneycroft Fowler in the London
as It wns written on the face of the After dally describing to bls attendants P. T. O.: “At a dinner party oue even
Charmles« Mjsic.
check, the word “Photo grafter."—St the pleasures he had tasted In his cut ing after my marriage the conversa
The man had Just reached home aft
of turkey or what not be as regularly
Lbuls Republic.
er a heavy day’s work at the office
added. “Yqt. somehow or other, every tion, which was general, took a literary and was resting himself tn his easy
turn, and a gentleman sitting next to
thing
that
I
cat
tastes
of
porridge.
”
A Limit to His Power.
me, who did not know tbe identity of chair for a few minutes before par
A curious historical anecdote Is hand This story It was which gave rise to Mrs. Felkin with Ellen Thorneycroft taking of tea. Little Jim. bls youngest
the
saying.
"As
palatable
as
the
mad
oil down from the time of James I.
Fowler, began to descant on the way son. had climbed upon the paternal
James, being III want of £20.000. ap man's porridge.”
young authors spoil themselves with knee nnd was relating to his father
plied to the corporation for a loan. Tbe
tricks. To emphasize his point he said. the events of the day. "And, oh, fa
Some Famous Salt Lakoe.
corporation refused. The king Insist
’What can be more horrible than Miss ther. said the boy, "won’t you show
The Dead sea is forty miles long and Fowler's trick of saying “Everybody n-e your fldt'lf tome day?”
ed. "But. sire, you cannot compel ns,"
Opposite the Post Offiee
said Hie lord mayor "No." exclaim nine miles wide. Tbe Great Salt lake laughed?"' There was a dead pause.
"I have no fiddle, my boy," answered
ed James, "tail I'll mln you and the is seventy miles long nnd eighty miles He evidently expected me to make n re the fond parent.
city forever I’ll remove my courts of wide, the largest liodv of brine In the mark, for when I did not speak he
“Ob. yes. you have, papa." returned
law, my court Itself and my parlia world. There Is evidence to show that turned and said: 'Oh. don't you know the boy. "for I heard mamma telling
ment to Winchester or to Oxford nnd once the Great Salt lake was at least Miss Fowler's books? Haven’t you Mrs. Strongwill this afternoon
TH E WORLDS GntAltbi StWiNb ¡*—i
make a desert of Westminster, and 350 miles In length and 150 In width, read any of them?' ’I wrote them.’ I ever since she married you you
then think what will become of you!” nine times Its present area. The Dead replied, nnd then, Indeed, ‘everybody played second fiddle!"
"May it .please your majesty.” replied sea contains about 24 per cent of sol- laughed.’”
the lonl mayor, “you are at lllierty to Ids. one-third of which Is pure salt
THE WET WEATHER
He Was Not a Dumpling.
remove yourself nnd your courts to w hile of tbe 23 per cent of solid mat
A Mother’s Sacrifice.
COMFORT AND
Some years ago tbe lord chancellor
wherever you please; but. sire, there ter In the waters of Great Salt lake
I-cgends In India run that If a wom of England was cr.rss examining a
PROTECTION
will always tie one consolation to the nearly all is salt.
an stricken with leprosy suffers her shrewd bucolic witness.
afforded by a
merchants of London your majesty
self to lie buried alive the disease will
"Th'.v sometimes call you a Devon
«SSail
Not a Question of Grammar.
cannot take the Thatnvii along with
not descend to her children. There shire dumpling, don't they?” a.ked the
Tbe green reporter turned to Editor was In the northwest provinces of In i genial
your
''OlBIU»
’
advocate.
McKelway. "Which should I say.” he dia the wife of a gardener on whom
“
I
believe
they
do."
replied
the
wit-
asked hesitatingly, “ 'My boy Henry the loathsome malady had fallen Chil nera.
Garrick's Wit.
David Garrick on one occasion passed laid an egg on the table?’ ”
dren w ere bom to her. The disease
Clean-Light
"But you are not a Devonshire dump
Tyburn as a huge crowd was assent
"Well." said Editor McKelway Im grew worse. She Importuned her bus ling?"
Durable
I
bling to witness the execution of a patiently. "if you want something to band to bury her alive He at last,
The witness
Guaranteed
criminal
"Who Is he?" asked the crow over, nnd he’s that kind of a hen yielding to her prayers, summoned his occasioned by waited till the laughter
waterproof
great actor of a friend who accompa nery. let him lay It on the table if be son. The two dug the grave, and four then he slowly this inquiry subsided,
drawled out:
»329
pled him
can. Otherwise have him put It there.” neighbors assisted at the sepulture So
"Hey, but If I hod been a doompllng
Everywhere
“I lielleve his name Is Vowel.” was —Judge.
the woman died. These facts were In yon lawyers hid '»' gobbled I up afore
• J *OWtffi CO BOSTON
»,-«-0
CO ue.gr ,r.,0
the reply
vestigated In a magistrate's court and now
Hi» Distinction.
"Ah." said Garrick. ”1 wonder which
were proved.
A solemn funeral procession, slowly
of the vowels he Is. for there are sev
She Knew What She Was About.
eral At all events It Is certain that It wending Its way up tbe slojie from the
In Lengthy Terms.
The Husl'aud—You suggested thal
Is neither I! uor I!”-I.ondou Saturday church to the grave, was Intercepted
Did Ygu Ever Try
In the suburbs of one of our great
by the old verger, who. pulling bls cities recently a aew Resident stopped we Should begin and sure money. 1
Review.
forelock In the usual rustic style, ad tn rront of bis neighbor's gite and In const uted aud gave up my cigars and HARRIS’S NR«’ FEED AND
beer, and......
.........
now with
the money saved
Quite Natural.
dressed the clergyman, whispering lu
quired of the boy swinging thereon:
you have gone and bought a new hat
"Of course." said the tourist, "you a confidential manner:
LIVERY BARN,
"Is your pa home, sonny?"
1
he
wife
(pleasantlyi-That
’s Ml’rlgh!
Jfyon want either» VlbratlngSJ’S'P'^JjJj
"Please, sir. corpse’s brother wishes
know all alsiut the antidotes for snake
“No, sir." replied the lad. "He went It was to get the hat that I suggested
Shuttle or »single Thread If
bite?”
«
to speak to yer!”—Loudon Tit-Bits.
If
not, give him a call.
Sewlug Machine write to
up the road apiece.”
retrenchiu nt ^.1
"Certainly." replied the explorer.
tui'l economy. _ Nen
THE NEW HOME tEWINO MACHINE CW
“Gone afoot?”
Y
ork
Tress.
“
Everything
first-class.
Second
"Well, when a snake bites you
A Nautical Secret.
Orange. Ma®»-
"No; about a mlle."-Judge a Library
w hat's the thing you do?"
Passenger—What makes this boat
Many «ewin« machine, are made to
,
quality.
but
the Mew Home i>
block
South
of
P
O.
Sociology
»nd
Speculation.
"Veil.**—I’hlladelphia I’ress.
pitch so? Bailor—That's a nautical se
To Koop From Breaking.
Ou, cuarantr never rum 0«
A sociologist of genius who happened
cret. ma'am, that we dou't like to give
HUlhorixed deale»»
'My hero has a strong face." remark
Two Roads.
away; but. seeiu' It's you. I don't mind ed the author.
n"’ney could Probably
First Mother (reading letter from son telltn’ you that It’s the waves. San
"He needs IL” replied the critic, •T make a fortune on the Stock Exchange
w. G.
arris Prop.
at college) — Henry's letters always Francisco Call.
notice his face falls every time he Where knowledge of humanity Is the
send me to the dictionary. Second
^ntto!
thing
Henrik
n«e
n
meets the heroine!"
Mother (resignedly) — That’s nothing
EuX "T’ Iuwe“,,ul ’Peculator, in
ths
H» Wanted to Know.
N otice for publication
Jack's always semi mo to th« bauk-
Europe.-Loudon Outlook.
The Employer (coldly)—Why are you
Net New.
p*r',n
aho CURE ™e LUri
I'uvk.
so late? The Suburbanite (guiltily»— I New ’ Boarder—One thing Til say
office at Portland. Or».,
There were two wrecks on the track these < Cggn there's nothing bold or for
Notice il herehv oi.-- », APrl1 4th, jorfi’
Always
•• — z w Yeung.
• vwng,
H ANKS, of
th.llKMAMUEL T
Source of Supply.
this mornlug. and— The Employer pudent about them Landlady - Bold Im
mUnVr” "W*y'
"or rv
hi« in tent »on tomrtk? finii’ ha*
»'«tire of
Minister -My dear little boy. why (teetlly)— Who was the other one?
Sei
w«7re
¿
When
,heT
Krow
ol,ler
ln.up
e
<,
of
h),
chia,
4
"*'
*«« K»r proof
Impudent! I don't understand. New
don’t you get au umbrella? J a key-
Ì» ,!.■»- made DeîeïiJÎ* Jje'^Me.d Entry
lv
»h^v
m,n7
*
m,n
<"on
Boarder Why. not a bit too freah
?»?.• !**M, ave I-, . Nw 'A, u
fl>'
i
Since pa has quit going to church he
«row Xer
W",n*
*** ’ Jak.aec
Partly True.
i,,«nd ,, ,
k. »ec. 14 ; Se q
know
ueier brings home any mora umbrel
s *outh, muffe Q *•»*
j A ?' ■•citen h tn I
Mr. Nit I don’t lielleve a won! of j
New
!» made before
'««I proof »m I
las Jewish ledger
your story! Weary Well, that part
«■""k or»««... „„ M ‘
«t Till
When a man has turned out to be a
Henan.« the follow,,,,
about my bein' out of work for nine
Every misfortune ran ba subdued year» to as tree as go pall-EhUadal- failure be tries to convince his friends
"P-TTÄ7X !
Everything move« on binges »nd re« »(•Äd’T,
FOR
that
his
comu-ien.-e
prevented
him
f-otn
I pbl.t Inquirer,
with patleuca.- Socraiaa.
THROAT ANOLUWGjg
I ton"
beater Up Or^^y^**IPhrK»ndy‘*rf
I
Baking bls pile.—Washington Poet
’r»fon. Theme« Coti I m « nf uTiii’ u
OJ» MONEY BEFUNDE^
The Best Hotel
THE ALLEN HOUSE,
Headquarters for Travelling Men.
K. CASE,
jfti jikJk A*
>
Tillamook Iron Works!
General Machinists & Blacksmiths.
TILLAMOOK,
OREGON. J
S STAPLE & FANCY
s
GROCERIES
in Tillamook, all new and Fresh, The
prices are no higher than others.
We most cordially invite you to
come and look at what we have and
get our prices, whether you buy or
not.
W. M. MILLS,
■DO YOU KNOW
S licker ?
H
,
KILL
~ 'X to
!
i
COUC
w,th Dr. King's
Disco»
au C8ESI“ «'