TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JANUARY 23, 1908-
Editorial Snap Shots.
nowhere says that they must be paroled.
The matter is wholly discretional with
Mr. Chamber! tin. No law obliged hnn
to parole Hembree. Nor was it necessary
for him to grant the parole at the end of
Hembree’s first year prison. It could
have l>een granted ‘Lt any time after’
Hembree had served the minimum period
of his indeterminate sentence. Again,
although the only lawful ground for
granting the parole was Hembree’s con
duct w hile in prison, yet the statute de
clares that the record of the prisoner’s
conduct ‘shall not preclude the Governor
from obtaining oth^r information in re
gard to said prisoner.' It follows that
Mr. Chamberlain errs when he says the
statute ail jws him ‘no discretion if the
prisoners conduct in the penitentiary has
been good.’ The fact is that it allows
him every discretion.’’
* M *
Th« Headlight does not blame the Pa
cific Navigation Company for monopo
lizing the transportation business and
keeping out opposition, because there is
profitable business in doing so. There is
not a business man in the city but what
would be glad if he had a monopoly of
one line of business or goods. But the
transportation company has been more
successful and shrewder than the busi
ness men, who have the situation and
enough business in their own hands to
bring about competition if they would
only get together and agitate for a boat
direct from Portland or San Francisco. It
is as plain as the nose on a man's face
that if a steamer was put on between
here and Portland, it would not be long
before|box shooks,piling, telegraph poles,
etc., would be shi ipped there W hat this
county needs is a line of steamers to
assist industries in getting the products
to markets, for those who have come
here to invest money in industries
see that it is impossible to make a suc
cess ol it with the present transpoetation
difficulties. Hence so few industries and
so few pay rolls.
HEMBREE TO FACE
ANOTHER TRIAL.
Silver Wedding at long Pr<irie
"Goldhelmer must he awful rich.
"What makes you think so?
•I uw his daughter, who they say «
engugt-d to a nobleman.”-Ulk.
Folllngstone NomoEs- Yes, I u»ter be
a poet ouce. Tatterdon Torn-1 often
wondered bow you got your start.
Philadelphia Record.
Teacher Tommy, what did they
have In Rome after it was burned?
Tommy-Fire sales, ma'am.-Chlca-
go News.
There Is an old saying that in Eng
land the wife Is the queen. In France
the companion. In Germany the bouse
keeper and in Italy the slave.
On Friday last Mr. and Mrs. Henry
Everything indicates another bright
Kogers celebrated the anniversary of
nnd buisy year for Tillamook county as
their w“ddiiig. and as it was the twenty
Is Arrested by Sheriff on fifth anniversary, or silver wedding.
soon as llie wet season is over, with n
good demand lor land and timber, and
nu nlier of neighla.rs and friends
a Charge of Murder large
with plenty of work for those who want
were invited to participate in the happy
to work.
event. The guests numfiered about tiitv
ing His Wife.
* « 9
who heartily congratulated Mr. am ,i
It is really too bad that Sheriff Cren
Ab. Hembree, the Sandlake murderer, i Mrs, Rogers.aiid who were the recipients
shaw has no family of bis own. for no
will be placed on trial again for bis life, ■ of many useful presents in silver. All
parci.t could have been kinder to the five
this time for the murder of his wife, the j enjoyed the event and a nice dinner was
little Davis children when he took them
previous trial being for the killing of his j served, the remainder of tb* day being
to the Boys’ and Gills’ Home last week
daughter, Cora Ellen Hembree.
He spent ill a mo-t sociable manner. Mr.
He made a good probation officer.
was
arrested
on
Sunday
afternoon
at und Mrs. Rogers came to Tillamook
* * *
Sheridan at the home of his brother bv County about twenty wars ago. They
“Is be a man who uses good Judg
One of *he “special interests’’ in this
Sheriff Crenshaw, who lost no time in are highly respected in the county, with ment?” "Excellent. But be always
city will make a big effort next June to
bringing bis man to Tillamook, for with l n large number ol friends, who congrat puts It to use about a day too late. —
make the county “wet.’’ They arc so in
the exception of three hours' rest for the ulate them on this thei{ silver wedding, Milwaukee Sentinel.
terested in the people and the county
team at Dolph, the sheriff made no stops, and with the best wishes for their future
The penguin is an eccentricity amoug
that they want the dear dairymen to
traveling night and day with his tnan. happiness. Those present were :
birds. Unique among the feathered
load upon booze before they go home
landing him in jail here 24 hours after he
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Rogers Mr. and world, it hatches Its eggs not sitting,
instead of provisions, clothing and com
had made the arrest in Sheridan. Hem Mrs Chas. Kunze. Mr. and Mrs. Henry but standing up.
forts for their homei, wives and families.
bree was greatly surprised when re ar Kunze. Mr. and Mrs. Gus Kunze. Mr.
Her Husband—You were a good look
* * *
and Mrs Buell. .Mr. and Mrs. |ohn
rested, lor he had been informed by his Sheets. Mr. an,I Mrs Marion Chance. ing womau w lieu 1 married you.
There are some few persons in Tilla
She Yes; I had the advantage of
attorneys that he could not be arrested Mr. and Mrs. Jonas Olsen, Mr. ami Mr.
ruook City who are frequently making
when on parole, and at first appeared as i Alfred Carlson. Mr. ami Mrs. Riley Max you even then.—Brooklyn Life.
the remark : ‘ If we conld only get rid of
though ha would not accompany the| well. Mr and Mrs. William Maxwell.
that man Baker.” It is reallv too bad
lu Abyssinia the wife Is master. If
Mr. ami Mrs-Jain-s Murphy. Mr. and
sheriff, but when told by lhe sheriff that J Mrs Sollie tlmith. Mrs. Maggie Park her husband offends her she can turn
that Baker don’t skidoo— but he don’t
have to. Yet we ought to be thankful
he was going to take him, Hembree had >
. Mrs
Mrs. Campbell.
Campladl, Messrs,
Messrs Dave ¡Im out. for the bouse and Its belong-
“
>. Levi ugs are hers.
to submit So quietly had the officials | Curtiss, T J Bibby, Guss Goeris.
that we are alive and allowed to live in
....................
......
,
Carl
gone about their business, that HembreeJ Green, Arthur Rogers. _ k.... Carlson,
-•
this little kingdom of Tillamook, seeing
Tlie Farmer—lVbat are you getting
I I f Horace
’____ U1I.4,»»
Bibb.v. L'm.iLiO
Frankie Martin, Horace
was landed in the county jail before the | Btbby. Frankie Martin. Nicholas Sheets. up la that there apple tree?
that they are firing all the bad people
people were aware of what had happen- I Misses Georgia and Mvra Fletch-ill. Ixna
The Boy—Stummlck ache, sir.—Lon
out of the city.
* * *
ed, who, at first, could hardly believe it. and Lily Koch, Lenora Kunze, Lutie don Illustrated Bits.
The Oregon Journal »ays :
The arrest was made at the instigation I Kunze, anil Vida Rogers.
There were more than 100 colossal
•‘The country newspaper has its im
of Deputy District Attorney Cooper.who
statues In the ancient city of Rhodes,
portant mission. The country news-
Notice.
had been conferring with District Attor
besides the great bronze Image that
paper man has, or should have, his im
ney McNary since Governor Chamber
portant place. It should be a place of
We, the parents of Mark Hobson, a bestrode the harbor.
honor and influence. It is, or will be, if
lain paroled Hembree, and it was upon minor, will not be responsible for any
If canned pears have a flat taste, and
him, from this date
his mind is kept whetted, his business
an
indictment, returned by the grand | debts contrated by F. P H obson .
most pears do, they will be Improved
kept business like and his aims and con
on, Jan, 11, 1908.
jury at the April, 1906, term of court.'
J oanna H obson .
by adding stick cinnamon to them
ceptiona held • lfalteringly high When
the (country newspaper men meet, as
charging him with the murder of his
while cooking.
they have met in Portland this week,
wife, which was hanging over Hem
Sheriff s Sale.
The elephant when excited or fright
and hitch their aims to higher ideas,
bree, that the officials used in making
they are building firmly and well for
On the 1st day of February, 1908, at ened can attain a speed of twenty
for
the artest.
themselves and for Oregon.’’
Two o'clock p.m., I will sell at the front miles an hour and can keep It up
Owing to the governor allowing three i
* * *
door ol the Court House, One Roan half a day.
Jottings
from
the
County.
The people of Tillamook county are
days to lapse in the bank holidays, the i
Poet—So you think I should put Are
Raid to be on short rations as a result of
The Berns Bros, are demonstrating case cannot come up at the special term ! Mare, four or five years old, to the
into my verses?
highest bidder, cash in hand.
th« inability of the steamer Elmore to their ability to clear land with a donkey.
of the circuit court next month, but will
Editor—My dear sir, quite the re-
make her regular trips during the severe
H. C renshaw , Sheriff.
verse!- Exchange.
weather of the past two or three There are increasing demands in Tilla have to go over until the April term, [
months. Oo one is in distress, of course, mook for the right kind of men in this which places Hembree in exactly the
"Do you lielieve that the good die
but the fact is those people have grown line.
same position as he was in two years
young?" “I think they do If all my
rich to rapidly that their wants have
R. M. Kunze has completed a concrete ago, also Judge Galloway and the Dis
wife tells me about her first husband
multiplied so fast that the Elmore i* un
able to keep up with them. And then, foundation for the gasoline engine which trict Attorney’s office.
is true.”—Pick-Me-Up.
is
to
operate
the
power
for
Guv
Kunze
’
s
again, it is said, of a truth, that instead
Russian women and Japanese men
ol taking flour, sugar, coffee and other milking machine. Mr. Kunze explained
are said to be the most skillful work
staples, the little steamer was loaded the mechanism of the milker, also the Genuine Imported Swedish Razors
Capital Stock........................ $25,000,
ers with the needle In decorative ef
down to the guards with beer and whis
Best razor made. Try one. Full v war ; Offers every facility for safe banking,
little aversion cows show while being
key.—Seaside Signal.
fects that the world holds.
and
solicits
your
business.
ranted,
hollow
ground,
$2.00
;
Fully
It was necessary for the Elmore to do milked. We see no reason to prevent
Young girls begin half their say with
warranted, hollow ground, ivory handle
that when Bro Watson liyed here, but this process proving a success.
Commercial, Savings and Trust De "When I get married." Married wom
$3.00
;
Single
porpoise
razor
strop,
50c.
J.
F.
Martin
’
s
twelve
roomed
house
is
not now.
partments.
en start everything with “When I was
* * *
nearing completion. Some of the rooms Double porpoise and web razor strop,
Interest at current rates on checking a girl.”—AtchiBon Globe.
We are frequently receiving letters for are papered and painted in artistic style. |l.O0. Postpaid to your address. G eo . accounts.
Many of the poor men covet the rich
publication which we are compelled to His cows haye brought him something \V. R eynolds , 950 East Davis St., Port
Our little book, ’ Helpful Hints on
consign to the waste paper basket, for over $87 per cow for the tear.
land, Orc.
Banking,’’ explaining lioiv to do your man's wealth, and most of the rich
men covet the poor man's health.—St.
banking by mail is ready.
the reason that the writers have an axe
Mr. and Mrs. Turner, of the Oceanway
Send for a copy. It’s free for the Louis Globe-Democrat.
to grind or want the editor to tnke up Hotel, are the soul of hospitality, and Registered Holstein Bull for Sale.
___ ____ _
I'aganlnl. the famous violinist, died
mid father their light while they hide be where guests are delighted in obtaining
For sale, my Holstein Bull, Oregon asking.
well cooked food, clean beds and cour
hind a non de plume. So in future the teous treatment,
Chunk«/, No 37.3272 H.F.H.B, Took Notice of Administrator's Sale at Nice May 27, 1840, drawing, it Is
said, a "laBt loug note on bis favorite
of Real Property.
editor will not publish letters where the
Mrs. S. II. Ward is gaining strength fifth prize nt Lewis and Clark Fair and
writer objects to having his niune print rapidly.
N otice is H kbbbt G iven ,—That in pur- G string."
first at Washington State Fair as a
suance of an order of the County Court of
"I hear he refused to take chloroform
ed. So many persons, after getting con
It would be a surprise to some of the yearling in 1905. Will sell at a bargain the State of Oregon, for Tillamook County,
duly made and entered of record on the 22nd when he was operated on.”
trol of some of the newspapers in Tilla hide bound pessimists around Tillamook if taken at once.
• lav ofjanuary, 1908. in the matter of the
“Yes; said he’d rather take It when
mook in recent years, have written edi City and elsew here to go over our coun
I state of NBLS SATHER deceased, the
D. T. W ersc R ki l , Cloverdale, Or.
ty and see some of the honest effort which
undersigned Administrator of said estate he paid his bill.”
torials ar.d anonymous letters besmirch is being made by our voting teachers to
from and after Monday, the 2nd day of
March. 1908, will proceed to sell at private
ing or ridiculing the characters of respec better the condition of others as well as
It Is the mind that makes the body
saleforgold coin of the United States, the
TEA
table citizens. A repetition of this is their own.
following described real property situated in rich, and as the sun breaks through the
the County of Tillamook and State of darkest clouds so honor peereth In the
Wyss Brothers have just put four hogs
now going on in the “special interests"
particularly described as the South
The greatest tea-drinkers Oregon,
east quarter (Se
of Section Four (4), meanest habit.—Shakespeare.
newspa|>er, and by the same individuals in the pork barrel. They have the right
impression. Otic barrel of food in a
Township two (2) South of Range Seven (7)
who are ashamed or have not the man man’u cellar is worth four on the dock at arc full-bottom Dutch West of the Willamette Meridian.
Superintendent—I think that young
Terms of sale, cash, upon confirmation and lady over there Is not being properly
hood nor the courage to sign their names Astoria with rats chewing at it.
execution
of
Administrator
’
s
deed.
Sale
to
men. There isn’t much be subject to the confirmation of said waited upon.
to the editorials or anonymous letters.
W. J. Carver showed us his band of
Court. For further particulars in
Floor Walker—Oh, she doesn't want
» a a
Ohio Improved Chester Hogs,which con
nervous
prostration in County
quire of the Administrator in care of the
Tillamook Headlight, Tillamook, Oregon, to buy anything. Everything that has
The peopleoi Tillamook county appear vinced us that this industry has a bright
or
in
care
of
his
attorneys,
Platt
&
Piatt,
future
in
Tillamook.
Hr
is
under
the
Holland.
to be well pleased with the action ol the
406. Commercial Block, in the City of Port been shown her she has declared per-
impression that the averaging of the
land. Oregon, or inquire of Platt & Platt. fectly lovely. She hasn’t found the
District Attorney's office in having A. J. proceeds from dairy herds is not on an
Your rrocer return, your money it you don't
Portland, Oregon.
least fault with anything.
Hembree arrested on the indictment honest basis. He says the whole herd like Schilling'. Bb.t. we pay him.
RAuEIGH P. TRIMBLE.
Administrator of the Estate of
charging him with the murder of his should be averaged all together for the
“Where did I get It?" snarled the
Nels Sather, deceased.
young millionaire. “There Is a ques
wife. Although the compromise verdict entire year, irrespective of the time when
certain cow s come fresh.
tion that always makes me hopping
on the cliaige ol murdering his daugh
Mis. J. V. Hodgdon and family were
KX
<$>
mad.”
ter was a traiesty of justice, had the camping in Tillamook City when the
“Papa won’t ask It,” simpered the
governor not paroled Hembree as he did first issue of the Headlight w as issued.
fashionable damsel. “Have you still
nfter one year m the penitentiary, people She says tilings have changed since those
got It? That's all papa wants to
here would have liven somewhat satisfied days.
know."—Pittsburg Post.
Ranchers are complaining of a great
had he been kept there. Hembree had a
deal of distemper amongst their horses
“I have come, Mr. Editor, to com
fair trial on tli« charge ol murdering his
Win Hughey is contemplating the
plain about your report of my daugh
daughter,aod as 11 ol the jurymen, belore erection of a new residence before next
ter’s wedding.”
they lelt the court room, were convinced harvest. Although Mr. Hughey and his
“What was the matter with It?”
good
wife
have
sacrificed
one
residence
he was the murderer, that point alone
“Well, her name la Gratia, and you
and
its
contents
to
fire,
they
still
haw
convinced peoplg I hat he was guilty of
printed It ‘Gratis.’ ”
the faculty to smile ami look pleasant.
the crime. What the outcome ol the new
"That's not so bad. She was given
Marv I Hope, whois 6« wars of age.
trial will be it is hard to tell, seeing that is quite sick
away, wasn't she?”
lougei such cases are allowed to run it
II. I. Provoost had the misfortune to 3 *
"Yes. sir, be wuz afraid o’ the banks
harder to couvlcl, as witnesses get scat- loose one of Ins eyes, the operation being
bustin' on him, an' so he burled his
tered.
made necessary on account ol the injury
money.”
« « *
he received w hile ofiriiing a keg of pick
"Has he got it yet?”
Most of (lie “dry " counties heretofore les. a piece of the chissel he w as using
"No. He forgot to blaze the tree
have beeu somewhat lenient with those having struck him in the eve.
whar It was, an' the owner put up a
Mrs
Freeman
informs
me
that
Frank
who have violated the local option law,
sign. ‘No Trespassing on These
and his bride will be home next week. I
with the tesult that the law breakers would like to inform Frank that we ll
Grounds.’ ’’—Atlanta Constitution.
•imply laugh wlnn let off with a small take a little laspberr.v, please.
Stradlvartus was born in Cremona,
fine. The past lew vecks Hie state anti*
I he M i . i nn Lumber Conipniiv resumed •
Italy, In the year 1848. To make vio
an loon league has employed the detective work on the Wilson river boom.
lins wns bls sole and only business, his
agencies to ferret out the “blind
Amos Vaughn has a very fine place on .
Joy, his religion. He died In 1737, leav
the
Kilchis
nver
which
supports
ZOcows
with the result that quilt a number have
ing behind him three sons, who tried
a good bunch ol young stock. He i
to carry on their father's business, but
been fined >260 and 80 days in tail It ami
has one ol the cleanest and liest regulat- '
failed to bring their work up to the
this liad l»een done before it would have t_d creameries I have seen in my travels. |
ABSOLUTELY PURE
master's standard.
•topped the traffic, for it is the j ail sen* I he mx horse power engine operates the
tvucc whkh is most dreaded. Recorder chuin, saws the wood, washes the
“No. Geoffrey.’’ protested the beautl-
clothes, rims the separator and turns the
Dorris, of Eugene, in passing sen truce ou grindstone.
ful girl, “you mustn’t do that, I have
never allowed a young man to put his
one of the law breakers, said that lie be
J. J I <'well ami w ile have moved onto
arm around my waist.’’ “That being
lieved these men who are found guilty ol the i mtis place and they have the real:
the case, Gwendolen,” he answered
selling intoiicating liquors do not care farm spirit. Mav all good things come
sadly, but with firmness, “you will
for the payment of a money fine, regard I t.ieir way.
have to take your head off my shoul
It is repotted that the Bay Citv band
ing more in the nature of a substitute lor
der.’’—Chicago Tribune.
is iv.ikm^ some good progress, with Sam
It Has No Substitute
the pa v men I of a license, so he nnp< ses Shortridgc
as leader
The probable substitute for Iron and
the jail sen terne, whuh l.e said-would
TWrt arv Al«® and Phaaphala •( Lime raiit«raa m M
Charier McMillan is staying
copper when those metals shall have
have n mote salutary rffeat in setuimg Link hinl nson ami going to Bay
• lower price, but no houaokeopor retarding the health
been exhausted will be aluminium.
School,
•I her taaMljr caa afford to
obedience to the law of the land.
This metal Is the base of all clays, and
* « «
owing to the abundance of these mate
The Oregonian, in answer to Governor
COFFEE
rials the supply of aluminium will be
Chamberlain, in regard to lUe parole of
many hundreds of times greater than
Good
grocers
like
Schil
lletnbret. the Sandlake ruurdeier, »ays
that of Iron and copper.
“The Goner nor save the statute vir ling ’s Best, for it makes
tually tom pels him to grant a parole it
■Tleaae, Mr Editor," wrote a corre
the prisoner's tondin t in prison lias l»een
good-will and not trouble ;
spondent of an Irish newspaper, "can
good, and thvt he ha» rv» right to tab?
you tell me bow to prevent bleedin« at
anything else into consideration. Yet the
in case of complaint, the
the newer’
every hiw which th« Governor quotes to
justify hirumll says iu the plainest lan*
“^ÑTKRS '&TRAPPÈR8’’QÌjÌD^\'Ìir^ì»
money is ready.
“To prevent bleeding at the oom ,"
gusge that prisoners ’mav bo paroled
replied the discriminating editor, "keep
Your
«nw«
raturas
yovr
nouer
If
rua
don
I
k>r good conduct by the Guvcruoc* ; it
It out of other people', buaiaeaa.”—
Ui®
i Ul« il. w«
London Telegraph.
First Bank & Trust
Company,
BAY CIIY, ORE.
Î
*
Economizes the use of flour, but
ter and eggs; makes the biscuit,
cake and pastry more appetiz
ing, nutritious and wholesome.
0
¡1
$
I JRP&l I
¡I ftakinÿPowder I
This is the only baking
powder made from Royal
Grape Cream of Tartar
>*E FU RS : H I DES
The so called “Continental shelf” of
the north Atlantic, meaning the siiaD
low waters along the coast, lias an
average width of 100 mile» and a depth
on Its outer edg? of some 500 feet,
from which point the sea bottom
shelves steeply to the depths of the
ocean.—New York American.
Dancing Is as old us history. There
Is no record of the time when the
dance In some form was not practiced.
Beginning probably In the exuberance
of animal spirits, It later became an
expression of religious emotion, then of
warlike ardor and finally settled down
Into Its purely social phase.
"Ah!” said the blustering lawyer
whose client had been acquitted.
"Now that It’s over, would you mind
telling bow you reached your verdict?"
“Certainly,” replied the Juryman.
"We felt sure that If he had been
guilty he wouldn't have hired you to
defend him.”
The dangerous rocks of the I.lzard,
on the coast of Cornwall, one of the
oldest landmarks of the marine world,
are the scene of many terrible disas
ters. It wns on these rocks that the
famous armada was wrecked when
the Spaniards tried to Invade Eng
land—London Answers.
First Minister—It Is sure to happen
when I have prepared a particularly
good sermon that my congregation Is
small and large when I have a' poor
one. Second Minister (Intending to be
complimentary)—I have been told that
the house Is always full when you
preach.—I’earson's.
Employer—You were late this morn
ing, Henry.
Office Boy—Yes, sir.
Employer—Did you forget to men
tion It to me ?
Office Boy—No. sir. But I didn't
want to deprive you of the pleasure of
being the first to speak of It.
Foote Light—You say she's of a very
sympathetic nature?
Miss Sue Brette— Very.
“Cries durlug a sad scene In th«
play, I suppose?”
“Yes. Why, last night two of the
actors were struck with eggs, ami she
even cried then!”—Yonkers Statesman.
There could not possibly be a
whiter city than Cadiz unless It were
a city that was built of snow. As you
near the coast you see In front of you
a white mass which appears to be
floating upon the water. The first
thought of a foreigner Is that he Is In
sight of an Iceberg.
“To me,” said Mr. Wobbles feverish
ly, "you present all that Is most sub
lime. I believe that destiny Intended
us for each other.”
"Are you alluding,” Inquired Miss
Peppry icily, "to the affinity popularly
supposed to exist between the sub
lime and the ridiculous?”
It is certain that ants Intentionally
sanction the residence of certain In
sects In their nests. This Is the case,
for Instance, with a curious blind
beetle, which Is absolutely dependent
upon ants and Is habitually fed by
them, the ants supplying It with nour
ishment as they do one another.
Nobody knows the size of the Ice cap
covering and surrounding the south
pole, for nobody has ever been able to
explore It. But the antarctic circle Is
much colder than the arctic, and It Is
computed that the accumulations of
ice are vastly greater at the southern
than at the northern end of the earth.
"Some people," growled Grouchey,
“make me sick."
“I should think nearly everybody
would make you sick,” replied Pep-
prey.
"Why so?”
“Well, ‘turn about Is fair play,’ you
know.”—Catholic Standard and Times.
Hicks—Talk about Friday being an
unlucky day! George Washington was
born on Friday, the Declaration of In
dependence was signed on Friday, and
the battle of Bunker Hill was fought
on Friday. Wicks—Well, all that was
unlucky for the British, wasn’t It?—
Somerville Journal.
I am a great believer In the value of
tea as a preventive of gout and as aid
ing in the elimination of uric acid. It
should be taken weak and quite fresh
ly made. I also always Insist on the
avoidance of sweet fruits and on the
free use of green vegetables.—London
Hospital.
Keen Eyas.
“Here's your book, dear Miss Scrlb-
blab. Sorry to have kept It so long.
Delighted with It, I assure you.”
“Rend It through, did you?”
“Yes, Indeed. It was charming.”
“Ever show your eyes to an expert
oculist?"
"My eyes! What do you mean?”
“Must lie something abnormal about
them. You appear to have read mr
book without cutting the leaves!”
Settling.
Father—Come, yonng man, get your
coat off and come with me.
Tommy—You're not going to lick me.
are yon, dad?
Father-Certainly! Didn’t I tell you
thia morning that I would settle with
you for your bad behavior?
Tommy—Yes. but I thought It was
only a Joke, like when you told the
grocer the other day you were going
to settle with him.
Har Face.
“My face,” said the seasoned son-
brette, “is my fortune.”
"You don't say so?’ retorted the fun
ny comedian. “I thought it stood for
what you owed.”
"And why did you think It stood for
what I owed?" asked the seasoued sou-
brette
"Because," explained the funny
tomedlan, "I see you bar« it chalked
•p."—Exchange.