TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JANUARY 23, 1908-
Editorial Snap Shots.
now here says that they must be paroled.
The matter is wholly discretional with
Mr. Chamberl tin. No law obliged him
to parole Hembree. Nor was it necessary
for him to grant the parole at the end of
Hembree’s first year prison. It could
have been granted ‘tt any time after’
Hembree had served the minimum period
of liis indeterminate sentence. Again,
although the only lawfnl ground for
granting the parole was Hembree's con
duct while in prison, yet the statute de
clares that the record of the prisoner’s
conduct ’shall not preclude the Governor
from obtaining oth^r information in re
gard to said prisoner ' It follows that
Mr. Chamberlain errs when he says the
statute all jws him ‘no discretion if the
prisoner» conduct in the penitentiary has
been good.’ The fact is that it allows
him every discretion.’’
* * #
Th« Headlight does not blame the Pa
cific Navigation Company for monopo
lizing the transportation business and
keeping out opposition, because there is
profitable business in doing so. There is
not a business Dian in the city but what
would be glad if he had a monopoly of
one line of business or goods. But the
transportation company has been more
successful and shrewder than the busi
ness men, who have the situation and
enough business in their own hands to
bring about competition if they would
only get together and agitate lor a boat
direct from Portland or San Francisco. It
is as plain as the nose on a man's face
that if a steamer was put on between
here and Portland, it w ould not be long
beforejbox shooks,piling, telegraph poles,
etc , would be shipped there, \\ hat this
county needs is a line of steamers to
assist industries in getting the products
to markets, for those who have come
here to invest money in industries
see that it is impossible to make a suc
cess ol it with the present transportation
difficulties. Hence so lew industries and
so few pay rolls.
HEMBREE TO EACE
ANOTHER TRIAL.
Silver Wedding at Long Prdrie.
“Goldhelnier must be awful rich.
•‘What make» you think sot
"I saw hts daughter, who they say w
engaged to a nobleman." •-
— Ulk.
Folllngstone Nomoss- Yes. I u«ter be
a poet oui-e. Tattenlon Torn-l oGen
wondered bow you got y«“r start.
Philadelphia Record.
Teacher-Tommy, what did they
Rome after it was burned?
have lu
1-------------
' Tommy-Fire sales, ma'am.-Chlca-
go News.
There is an old saying that in Eng-
land tbe wife Is the queeu. In France
the companion. In Germany tbe bouse
keeper and in Italy the slave.
On Friday last Mr. and Mrs. Henry-
Everything indicates another bright
Rogers celebrated the anniversary of
nnd buisy year for Tillamook county as
their w*-<ldiiig. and as it was the twenty
soon as the wet season is over, with 11
fifth anniversary, or silver wedding, a
good demand lor land and timber, and
large nu-nlier of neighbors and friends
with plenty of work for those who want
were invited to participate in the happy
to work.
event. The guests numbered about fiitv
* * *
who heartily congratulated Mr. am >1
It is really too bad that Sheriff Cren
Ab. Hembree, the handlake murderer, Mrs. Rogers.and who were the recipients
shaw has no family of his own. for no
will be placed on trial again for his life, of many useful presents in silver. All
parer.t could have been kinder to the five
this time for the murder of his wife, the enjoyed the event and a nice dinner was
little Davis children when he took them
previous trial being for the killing of his served, the remainder of the day being
to the Boys' and Gills' Home last week
daughter, Cora Ellen Hembree.
He spent in a most sociable manner. Mr.
He made a good probation officer.
was arrested on Sunday afternoon at and Mrs. Rogers came to Tillamook
* * *
Sheridan at the ho.ne of his brother by County about twenty rears ago. They
•■Is be a man who uses good Judg
One of the “special interests’* in this
Sheriff Crenshaw, w ho losl no time in are highly res|iected in the county, with ment?” "Excellent. But he always
city will make a big effort next June to
bringing liis man to Tillamook, for with a large number ol friends, who congrat puts it to use about a day too late. —
make the county “wet.** They arc so in
the exception of three hours’ rest for the ulate them on this thci{ silver wedding, Milwaukee Sentinel.
terested in the people and the county
team at Dolph, the sheriff made no stops, and with the best wishes for their future
The penguin is an eccentricity among
that they want the dear dairymen to
traveling night and day with his man, happiness. Those present were :
birds. Unique among tbe feathered
load upon booze before they go home
landing him in jail here 24 hours after he
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Rogers. Mr and world, It hatches its eggs not sitting,
instead of provisions, clothing and com
had made the arrest in Sheridan. Hem Mrs Chas. Kunze. Mr. nnd Mrs. Henry but standing up.
forts for their homes, wives and families.
bree was greatly surprised when re ar Kunze. Mr. and Mrs. Gus Kunze, Mr
Her Husband-You were a good look
* * *
and Mrs. Buell. Mr. and Mrs. John
rested, lor he had been informed by his Sheets. Mr. nnd Mrs. Marion Chance, ing woman when 1 married you.
There are some few persons in Tilla
attorneys that he could not be arrested Mr. and Mrs. Jonas Olsen. Mr. and Mr.
SheYes; I had the advantage of
mook City who are frequently making
when on parole, and at first appeared asi Alfred Carlson, Mr. ami Mis. Riley Max you eveu theu.—Brooklyn Life.
the remark ; ' If we conld only get rid ol
though ha would not nccompanv the . well. Mr and Mrs. William Maxwell. I
that man Baker.’’ It is refill v too bail
In Abyssinia the wife Is master. If
Mr. and Mrs James Murphy. Mr. ami
sheriff,
but w hen told by the sheriff that Mrs Sollie Smith. Mrs. Maggie Park her husband offends her she can turn
that Baker don't skidoo—but he don’t
he was going to take him, Hembree had durst. Mrs. Campbell. Messrs Dave ilm out. for the bouse and its belong-
have to. Yet we ought to be thankful
to submit. So quietly had the officials c Curtiss. T J. Bibby, Guss G-ierrs. Levi ngs are hers.
that we are alive and allowed to live in
-___ Arthur Jtogers, . Carl Carlson,
gone about their business, that Hembree, Green,
this little kingdom of Tillamook, seeing
The Farmer—What are you getting
Horace Bibby, Frankie Mai tin, Horace
was landed in the county jail before the Bibby. Frankie Martin, Nicholas Sheets. tip iu that there apple tree?
that they are firing all the bad people
people were awa-c of what had happen Misses Georgia and Mvra Fletchnll. Lena
The Boy—Stummlck acbe, sir.—Lon
out of the citv.
* * *
ed, who, at first, could hardly believe it. nnd Lily Koch, Lenora Kunze, Lutie don Illustrated Bits.
The Oregon Journal says :
The arrest was made at the instigation Kunze, and Vida Rogers.
There were more than 100 colossal
“The country newspaper has its im
of Deputy District Attorney Cooper.who
statues lu the ancleut city of Rhodes,
portant mission. The country news
Notice.
had been conferring with District Attor
besides the great bronze Image that
paper man has, or should have, his im
ney McNary since Governor Chamber We, the parents of Mark Hobson, a bestrode the harbor.
portant place. It should be a place of
minor,
will
not
Ire
responsible
for
any
honor and influence. It is, or will be. il
lain paroled Hembree, and it was upon
If canned pears have a fiat taste, and
debts contrated by him, from this date
his mind is kept whetted, his business
an indictment, returned by the grand on, Jan, 11, 1908.
most pears do, they will be improved
F. F H obson .
kept business-like and his aims and con
jury at the April, 1906, term of court,
J oanna H obson .
by adding
ceptiona held m ifalteringly high When
>3 stick cinnamon to them
the (country newspaper men meet, as
charging him with the murder of his
while cooking.
they have met in Portland this week,
wife, which was hanging over Hem
Sheriff s Sale.
The elephant when excited or fright
ami hitch their aims to higher ideas,
bree, that the officials used in making
they are building firmly and well for
On the 1st dav of February, 1908, at ened can attain a speed of twenty
for
the arrest.
themselyes and for Oregon.’’
Two o'clock p.m., 1 will sell at the front miles an hour and can keep it up
Owing to the governor allowing three door of the Court House, One Roan half a day.
* * *
Jottings
from
the
County.
The people of Tillamook county are
days to lapse in the bank holidays, the
Toet—So you tblnk I should put Are
Raid to be on short rations as a result of
The Berns Bros, are demonstrating case cannot come up at the special ter.n Mare, four or five years old, to the
into my verses?
highest bidder, cash in hand.
th« inability of the steamer Elmore to their ability to dear land with a donkey.
of the circuit court next month, but will
Editor—M.v dear sir, quite the re-
make her regular trips during the severe
H. C renshaw , Sheriff'.
verse!—Exchange.
weather of the past two or three There are increasing demands in Tilla have to go over until the April term, |
months. Oo one is in distress, of course, mook lor the right kind of men in this which places Hembree in exactly the I
"Do you lielieve that the good die
but the fact is those people have grown line.
same position as he was in two years
young?” “I think they do If all my
rich to rapidly that their wants have
R. M. Kunze has completed a concrete ngo, also Judge Galloway and the Dis
wife tells me about her first husband
multiplied so fast that the Elmore iq un
able to keep up with them. And then, foundation for the gasoline engine which trict Attorney’s office.
Is true."—Pick-Me-l'p.
again, it is said, of a truth, that instead is to operate the power for Gus Kunze’s
Russian women and Japanese men
ol taking flour, sugar, coffee and other milking machine. Mr. Kunze explained
are said to be the most skillful work
staples, the little steamer was loaded the mechanism of the milker, also the Genuine Imported Swedish Razors
Capital Stock.........................$25,000.
ers with the needle In decorative ef
down to the guards with beer and whis
Best razor made Try one. Fully war Offers every facility for safe banking,
little aversion cows show while being
key,—Seaside Signal.
fects that the world holds.
and
solicits
your
business.
ranted, hollow ground, $2.00 ; Fully
It was necessary for the Elmore to du milked. We see no reason to prevent
Young girls begin half their say with
warranted, hollow’ ground, ivory handle
that when Bro Watson liyed here, but this process proving a success.
Commercial, Savings and Trust De “When I get married." Married wom
J. F. Martin's twelve roomed house is $3.00 ; Single porpoise razor strop, 50c. partments.
not now
en start everything with “When I was
* * *
nearing completion. Some of the rooms Double porpoise and web razor strop,
Interest at current rates on checking a girl.”—Atchison Globe.
We are frequently receiving letters fur are papered and painted in artistic style. $1.00. Postpaid to your address. G eo . accounts.
Many of the poor men covet the rich
publication which we are compelled to His cows have brought him something \\ . R eynolds , 950 East Davis St., Port
Our little book. ‘ Helpful Hints on
consign to the waste paper basket, for over $87 per cow for the year.
land, Orc.
Bunking,’’ explaining how to do your man's wealth, and most of the rich
men covet the poor inau's health.—St.
banking by mail is ready.
the reason that the writers have an axe
Mr. and Mrs Turner, of the Ocean way
Send for a copy. It’s free for the Louis Globe-Democrat.
to grind or want the editor to take up Hotel, are the soul of hospitality, and Registered Holstein Bull for Sale
Taganlnl, the famous violinist, died
and father their tight while they hide be where guests are delighted in obtaining
For sale, my Holstein Bull, Oregon asking.
well cooked food, clean beds and cour
hind a non de plume. So in future the teous treatment.
Chunkey, No 37.3272 H.F.H.B. Took Notice of Administrator's Sale at Nice May 27, 1840, drawing. It Is
said, a "last long note on his favorite
of Real Property.
editor will not publish letters where the
Mrs. S. H. Ward is gaining strength filth prize at Lewis and Clark Fair and
G string.”
writer objects to having his name print rapidly.
is
H
ereby
G
iven
,
—
That
in
pur-
N
otice
first nt Washington State Fair as a
an order of the
suance of ---------
— County
------- , Court
_ ---- of
“I hear he refused to take chloroform
ed. So many persons, alter getting con
It would be a surprise to some of the yearling in 1905. Will sell at a bargain the State of Oregon, for Tillamook County,
duly made and entered of record on the 22nd when he was operated on."
trol of some of the newspapers in Tdla hide bound pessimists around Tillamook if taken at once.
•
lav
of
January,
1908.
in
the
matter
of
the
“Yes; said he’d rather take It when
inook in recent years, have written edi City and elsewhere to go over our coun
Estate of NBLS SATHER, deceased, the
D T. W ersc H kul , Cloverdale, Or.
ty and see some of the honest effort which
undersigned Administrator of said estate be paid his bill.”
torials and anonymous letters besmirch is being made by our young teachers to
from and after Monday, the 2nd day of
March, 1908, will proceed to sell at private
ing or ridiculing the charactets of respec better the condition of olheisaswell as
It Is the mind that makes the body
sale for gold coin of the United States, the
TEA
table citizens. A repetition of this is their own.
following described real property situated in rich, and as the sun breaks through the
the County of Tillamook anil State of darkest clouds so honor peereth tn the
Wyss Brothers have just put four hogs
now going on in the “special interest***
particularly described as the South
The greatest tea-drinkers Oregon,
east quarter (Se
of Section Four (4). meanest habit.—Shakespeare.
newspaper, and by the same individuals in the pork barrel. They have the right
Township two (2) South of Range Seven (7)
impression. One barrel of food in a
who are ashamed or have not the man man's cellar is worth four on the dock at are full-bottom Dutch West of the Willamette Meridian.
Superintendent—I think that young
Terms of sale, cash, upon confirmation and lady over there Is not being properly
hood nor the courage to sign their names Astoria with rats chewing at it.
execution
of
Administrator
’
s
deed.
Sale
to
men. There isn't much be subject to the confirmation of said waited upon.
to the editorials or anonymous letters.
W. J. Cai v«r showed us his hand of
Court. For further particulars in
Floor Walker—Oh, she doesn’t want
W * 4
Ohio Improved Chester Hogs,which con
quire of the Administrator in care of the
nervous prostration in County
Tillamook Headlight, Tillamook, Oregon, to buy anything. Everything that has
The peopleol Tillamook county appear vinced us that this industry has a bright
orincareof
his
attorneys,
Platt
&
Platt,
He is under the Holland.
to be well pleased with the action ot the future in Tillamook.
406. Commercial Block, in the City of Port been shown her she has declared per-
impression that the averaging of the
land. Oregon, or inquire of Platt & Platt. fectly lovely. She hasn't found the
District Attorney s office in having A. J. proceeds from dairy herds is not on an
Your grocer returns your money I! you don’t Portland, Oregon.
least fault with anything.
Hembree arrested on the indictment honest basis. He says the whole herd like Schilling's Bfest; we pay him.
RAuEIGH P TRIMBLE.
Administrator of the Estate of
charging him with the murder of his should be averaged all together for the
“Where did 1 get It?" snarled the
Nels Sather, deceased.
young millionaire. "There Is a ques
wife. Although the compromise verdict entire year, irrespective of the time when
certain cows come fresh.
tion that always makes me hopping
on the chatgc ol murdering his daugh
Mrs. J. V. Hodgdon and family were
mad.”
ter was a tra'eMy of justice, had the camping in Tillamook City when the
“Papa won’t ask It,” simpered the
governor not paroled Hembree as he did first issue of the Headlight was issued.
fashionable damsel. “Have you still
niter one year in the penitentiary, people She says things have changed since those
got it? That’s all papa wants to
here would have been somewhat satisfied days.
know.”—Pittsburg Post.
Ranchers
are
complaining
of
a
great
had he been kept there. Hembree had a
Economizes the use of flour, but
deal of disteini>cr amongst their horses
"I have come, Mr. Editor, to com
fair trial on the charge ot murdering his
ter
and eggs; makes the biscuit,
Win Hughey is contemplating the
plain about your report of my daugh
daughter,and as 11 ol the jurymen, before erection of a new residence before next
ter’s wedding."
cake and pastry more appetiz
they left the court room, were convinced harvest. Although Mr. Hughey and his
“What was the matter with it?”
he whs the murderer, that poifit alone good wife have sacrificed one resilience
ing, nutritious and wholesome.
“Well, her name Is Gratia, and you
convinced people that he was guilty of and its contents to fire, they still haye
printed It ‘Gratis.’ "
the faculty to smile and look pleasant.
the crime. \\ hat the outcome of the new
“That’s not so bad. She was given
Marv |. Hope, whois 6« years of age.
trial will lie it is hard to tell, seeing that is quite sick
away, wasn't she?”
F
louger such cases are allowed to run it
H. I. Provooet had the misfortune to
“Yes. sir. be wuz afraid o' the banks
harder to convict, as witnesses get scat loose one of Ins eyes, I he operation being
bustin' on lilm, an' so he burled his
tered.
made necessary on account ol the injury
money."
• * *
he received while opening a keg of pick
“Has he got It yet?”
les.
a
piece
of
the
chissrl
he
was
using
Moat <il the "dry" comities heretofore
"No. He forgot to blaze the tree
having
struck
him
in
the
eve.
liure breu somewhat lenient with those
whar It was, an' the owner put up a
Mrs»
Freeman
informs
me
that
Frunk
who hove violated the local option law,
sign. 'No Trespassing on These
and Ins bride will be home next week. I
with the result that the law breakers would like to inform Frank that we ll
Grounds.' "—Atlanta Constitution.
«imply laugh when let oil with a small lake a little raspberry, please,
Stradlvarius was born in Cremona,
fine. The past lew weeks the state anti-
lhe Miami Lumber Company resumed!
Italy, In the year 1648. To make vio
aaloon league has employed the detective work on (hi Wilson river boom.
lins was bis sole and only business, his
agencies to lei ret out the “blind pigs,"
Amos Vaughn has a very fine place on |
Joy, his religion. He died tn 1737. leav
lhe
Kilchis
river
which
supports
20
cows
with the result that quite a number hair
Ing behind him three sons, who tried
and a good bunch ol young stock. He
to carry on their father's business, but
been fined $260 and 30 day* in tail It Ims one of the cleanest and best regulat '
failed to bring their work up to the
this had been done before it would have cd creameries I have seen in my travels. 1
ABSOLUTELY PURE
master’s standard.
stopped the traffic. for it is the i til sen ( 1 hr six horse power engine operates the
tence which is most dreaded. Recorder Chinn, hhws the wood, washes the1
"No. Geoffrey,” protested the beautl-
clothe*. run. the separator nnd turn, the
Dorris, of Eugene, in passing sentence on , Rrmdatone.
ful girl, “you mustn’t do that, I have
never allowed a young man to put bls
one of the law breakers, said that he be j J. I l'<’«elland wile have moved onto
arm around my waist.” "That being
lieved these men who are found guilty ol | the l ultis plnce nnd lhev have the real
the case. Gwendolen,” he answered
aelling intoxicating liquors do not cate I l«rm spirit. Mar all good things come
sadly, but with firmness, “you will
lor the payment ol a money line, regard I t.ieir way.
have to take your bead off my shoul
h is repotted that the Bay City hand [0]
ing more in the nature of a substitute lor
der."—Chicago Tribune.
is
making
somegood
progress,
with
Sam
It
Has
No
Substitute
theparmenl of a license, so lie imposes Shortridge as leader
The probable substitute for Iron and
the jail »entente, which he said-would . I harler McMillan is staying
Tter» ar* Alaa, and Phaaphata at Lime mil tare, eeld at
copper when those metals shall have
have a mote salutary rft.1 in snniing i l.liek Frnl.oson and going to Bay with
• *•«■•» prRe. bat no heaaakoaper retarding the health
City
been exhausted will be aluminium.
h lioul.
obedience to the law ot the land.
al bar tamll/ caa aftard te aaa them.
This metal Is the base of all clays, and
« • «
owing to the abundance of these mate
rbc Oregonian, in answet to Governor
COFFEE
rials the supply of aluminium will be
Cbambeilain. in regard to the parole of
many hundreds of times greater than
Good
grocers
like
Schil
llembtee. the Sandlake ntarderer, sms
that of Iron and copper.
"The Gouetnor save the statute vir ling's Best, (or it makes
tually compels him tv gi.mt i parole it
"PI mm . Mr Editor,” wrote a corre
the prisoner's conduct m prison lias been
good-will and not trouble ;
spondent of an Irish newspaper, "can
good, and that he has nn tight to take
yoo tell me bow to prevent bleeding at
anything else into cnnmdeiati.m Yet the in case o( complaint, the
the noeeT’
every Inw which the Governor quotes tv
justify himself says in th* plainest lan money is ready.
“To prevent bleeding at the nose,”
^V^TERS'À.TRAPPERS’Giji'ÎbÉ'sâïrt^
guage that prisoner* mav bo paroled
replied
the discriminating editor, "keep
Your rrtxer returns your money if you don I
for good conduct by the Governor’ ; it
tt emt of other people's buataesa.”—
i Hk« II. ws pat La
•
IV
is.. itaWk
“i
Z .«’» IM.Mn
Landon Telegraph.
' V
JR,t,„a*,*g,*^gaiL±'-s>Xr*
Is Arrested by Sheriff on
a Charge of Murder
ing His Wife.
First Bank & Trust
Company,
BAY CITY, ORE.
♦
$
H
ss
O
il
■ r ^ i
Sakin f Powder
This is the only baking
powder made from Royal
Grape Cream of Tartar.
$
I
$
$
I
I
Ä .T» FU RS s HI DES
The so called “Continental »Leif of
the north Atlantic, meaning the s'oal-
low water* along the coast, has an
average width of 100 tulles and a depth
on Its outer edge of some 500 feet,
from which point the sea bottom
shelves steeply to the depths of the
ocean.—New York American.
Dancing 1» as old ns history. Thera
la no record of the time when the
dance In some form was not practiced.
Beginning probably in the exuberance
of animal spirits. It later became an
expression of religious emotion, then of
warlike ardor and finally settled down
Into Its purely aocial phase.
“Ah!” said the blustering lawyer
whose client had been acquitted.
"Now that It's over, would you mind
telling how you reached your verdict?”
“Certainly," replied the Juryman.
"We felt sure that If he had been
guilty he wouldn't have hired you to
defend him.”
The dangerous rocks of tbe Lizard,
on the coast of Cornwall, one of the
oldest landmarks of the marine world,
are the scene of many terrible disas
ters. It was on these rocks that the
famous armada was wrecked when
the Spaniards tried to Invade Eng
land.—London Answers.
First Minister—It Is sure to happen
when I have prepared a particularly
good sermon that my congregation Is
small and large when I have a’ poor
one. Second Minister (Intending to be
complimentary)—I have been told that
the house Is always full when you
preach.—Pearson's.
Employer—Y’ou were late this morn
ing. Henry.
Office Boy—Yes, sir.
Employer—Did you forget to men
tion It to me?
Office Boy—No, sir. But I didn’t
want to deprive you of the pleasure of
being the first to speak of It.
Foote Light—You say she’s of a very
sympathetic nature?
Miss Sue Brette—Very.
“Cries durlug a sad scene In th«
play, I suppose?"
“Yes. Why, last night two of th«
actors were struck with eggs, and she
even cried then!"—Yonkers Statesman.
There could not possibly be a
whiter city than Cadiz unless it were
a city that was built of snow. As you
near the coast you see In front of you
a white mass which appears to be
floating upon the water. The first
thought of a foreigner is that he Is In
sight of an Iceberg.
“To me,” said Mr. Wobbles feverish
ly, “you present all that Is most sub
lime. I believe that destiny Intended
us for each other.”
"Are you alluding." Inquired Miss
Peppry Icily, “to the affinity popularly
supposed to exist between the sub
lime and the ridiculous?”
It is certain that ants Intentionally
sanction the residence of certain In
sects In their nests. This Is the case,
for instance, with a curious blind
beetle, which Is absolutely dependent
upon ants and Is hnbltually fed by
them, the ants supplying It with nour
ishment as they do one another.
Nobody knows the size of the Ice cap
covering and surrounding the south
pole, for nobody has ever been able to
explore it. But the antarctic circle is
much colder than tbe arctic, and it Is
computed that the accumulations of
Ice are vastly greater at the southern
than at tbe northern end of the earth.
“Some people,” growled Grouchey,
"make me Bick.”
“I should think nearly everybody
would make you sick," replied rep
prey.
"Why so?”
"Well, ‘turn about Is fair play,’ you
know.”—Catholic Standard and Times.
Hicks—Talk about Friday being an
unlucky day! George Washington was
born on Friday, the Declaration of In
dependence was signed on Friday, and
the battle of Bunker Hill was fought
on Friday. Wicks—Well, all that was
unlucky for the British, wasn’t It?—
Somerville Journal.
I am a great believer In the value of
tea as a preventive of gout and as aid
ing In tbe elimination of uric acid. It
should be taken weak and quite fresh
ly made. I also always Insist on the
avoidance of sweet fruits and on the
free use of green vegetables.—London
Hospital.
Keen Eyes.
“Here's your book, dear Miss Scrib-
blah. Sorry to have kept It so long.
Delighted with it, I assure you.”
“Rend it through, did you?”
"Yes, indeed. It was charming.”
“Ever show your eyes to an expert
oculist?”
“My eye«! What do you mean?”
"Must be something abnormal about
them. You appear to have read mr
book without cutting tbe leaves!”
’
Settling.
Father—Come, young man, get your
coat off and come with me.
Tommy—You're not going to lick me,
are you, dad?
Father—Certainly! Didn't I tell you
this morning that I would settle with
you for your bad behavior?
Tommy-Yes. but I thought It was
only a Joke, like when you told the
grocer the other day you were going
to settle with him.
Her Face.
"My face," said the seasoned son-
brette. "is my fortune.”
"You don't «ay so?’ retorted tbe fun
ny comedian. "I thought It «tood for
what you owed.”
"And why did you think It stood for
what I owed?" asked the seasoned sou-
brette.
“Because," explained the funny
tomedlan, "I see you have It ch liked
ep.“—Exchange.
il -__
X
.
!