TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT, JANUARY 23. 19CÔ. he Doctor’a Imaginntloe. A Wasted Present. r ■ good story on one ot Waste "What lu the world shall I aend i best known oculists," said • Aunt Betsy, John?" demanded the mas­ mt clubman, addressing some terful lady of tbe mild little man. kt the billiard room of the Mate ' “A workbasket or a book?” he sug­ gested. "Don’t be a fool. John! You’ve no taste. 1’11 send her one of those fancy boxes of soap.” And she lifted to her nose a box containing six round tablets of per­ fumed soap. “Yes,” she continued, “this Is the very thing!” “But, my dear, really”— he protest-' ed. “You be quiet, John! Now, wrap this up, miss!” Two days later a packet arrived from Aunt Betsy, and in baste they opened It to see bow she had taken their thoughtful present. Under the wrap­ ping was the affectionate message: "Niece—Herewith 1 return the box of shaving soap you sent me. I am too old to appreciate the joke of be­ I club. “My eyes had trete 1 ing regarded as a bearded lady. Your for some months, and flually t aunt, Betsy.” ■ee tbe doctor about them. Then, but only for a moment, tbe a thorough examination be mild little man smiled. — Pearson’s it tbe muscles were badly Weekly. . ■nd then he gave me a pre­ fer drops to be used In my A Dreadful Assault. all I could a do to keep silent." re, times day. When I left Justice Ball, an Irish Judge, was the laughing. for ‘‘But me speaker, an appointment that noted for bls amusing manifestations quite how he he could would not take k, as sure he said •>- of Ignorance, but whether they were S ly You see, for he glasses may not have they a real or pretended has never been clear­ eyes until amor.” normal —Washington Star. their condition. ly established. He tried a case In I mislaid that blessed pre- which a man was indicted for robbery imets Days. and In as Olden I was particularly at i the bouse of a poor widow. The Jpwadays had not no regard time to the gwt first witness was the young daughter t week I do •ne those fore- of the widow, who Identified the pris­ copy. ot So in signs some that trepldatloe Mktb or fall of kings, but tbe oner as the man who had entered the ly- second appointment. lion was still current my in eyes the 1 house and smashed her mother’s chest. e doctor examined a moment about though, telling him HSnBueen Elizabeth, to ! “Do you say that the prisoner at the t used ent the of drops, her courtiers, when he the took bar broke your mother’s fchest?” said scorned It was Is I out of my It. mouth and also the the judge In astonishment. ut i If of the my sovereign body by would remarking re- “He did, my lord,” answered the girl. looklng at the malignant “He Jumped on it till he smashed It zed emphasis: lerby are no harm eyes very would much come im-1 entirely.” ' one medicine occasion which Elizabeth's That I gave The Judge turned to the crown coun­ lut and curtained It her win­ sel and said: “How is this? Why Is talnly wonderful. always dows, but prompt her majesty, as might have and satisfactory re- not the prisoner Indicted for murder? with "a courage an- If he smashed this poor woman's chest ■be greatness of her es- In the way the witness has described» them to be opened, cry- he must surely have killed her.” up: “Jacta est alea— “But, my lord,” said the counsel, “it Then, like King Knut was a wooden chest.”—Cornhlll Maga­ , she read her people a zine. that her “steadfast Bnce were too firmly The Buds. in theProvidence of God to be Old Dr. Ryland, clergyman and ed blasted or affrighted with those beams ucator, was greatly beloved In ths which either had no ground lu nature south, and his visits were always en- to rise or at least no w-ar- Joined by his former pupils and par- rant In to portend the mls- Ishlouers. In bls later years it was his custom to offer prayer whenever he made a ministerial call. On one I as an Ale Drinker. occasion he called at a bouse where ___________ bsing letter written three of his former pupils were stay­ > Earl of Leicester to Lord Bur- Ing. These ladles were all past the ■lgh as to the lack of mhii . i.-ntly thirtieth year mark, but In tbe eye« rong ale for the queen nt Ilatlleld. of the old gentleman they were still 'here to not one drop ■.!' . .... 1 drink girls, which explains the petition he r her here. ~~ were fain to send offered: London *fl| lwortli and divers “Lord, bless these dear girls, just er plan ale was. Her own budding Into sweet womanhood.” This was too much for one of the ■r was as there was no n able to Ale and bread number, who, taking advantage of the e the eliief s of the royal doctor’s deafuess, added this clause i kfast. Tbe quantity of ale con­ sotto voce: “Alas, Lord, budded, bloom­ ed by ladle* ■■breakfast in those ed, faded and still unpicked!” ; was considers b in tbe reign Ienry VIII. the maids of honor Got His Discount. e allowed (fir br«-.-ikt i-t -..ne .-bet “The other day I was In a village fe, one mancmH two gallons of ale general store,” said a drummer, "en­ d a pitcher ef win, A Lady Lucy deavoring to make a sale of Jewelry Ionic of tbe national when a farmer entered. ade a »wWaa kfast was a chine of “ ‘Give me,’ said the farmer, 'a half : a gallon of ale, and pound of tobacco, three bars of soap, eal a posset porridge, fire yards of blue baby ribbon and a or 1 mutton, a loaf and a pair of good suspenders.' ietmlnster Gazette. “The articles were brought forth. In­ spected, approved and wrapped up. is Class. They came to 95 cents. large mercantile house “ ’Yes,” said tbe farmer, ‘95's right. g ago a letter from a But there's the discount, You adver- ter in the west asking tise a 5 per cent discount, don't you?’ ’son be placed In some “ ‘We do, sir,’ said the clerk, 'but where he could learn only on purchases of *1 or over.' be bottom up.” The “On the counter lay a basket of pock­ that his offspring was et combe marked at 6 cents apiece. “ 'Well, I Hl Just take one of these,' the western millionaire said tbe farmer. That'11 make us tallowing reply from his square.' ” fed: ir hopeful has arrived. I A Stingy King, [employment In my estab- In the beginning of tbe eighteenth a week with others of hi» these young men has Just century tbe now so powerful German [yacht, and another comes empire was nothing more than tbe lit­ n a $9.000 motor car. No tle kingdom of Prussia, having just will find his surroundings dropped its title of duchy of Branden­ burg. The country was very poor and —Harper’s Weekly. the military discipline very harsh. Frederick William I. was hard, cross w A Bad Cast. ^Bead—Why do you treat me and stingy and did not even know iyHwiiy didn't you answer tbo what It was to make a present. Ills reputation was so widely spread that MKe you last Thursday? Miss ^frBlr. I don't wish to have It became a byword to say that a man bad worked for tbe king of Prussia iBrmon- to say to you. You when he had done an unprofitable task. •our note by saying you it you would drop me a line.” Maximilian and “La Paloma.” you to understand that I'm not I Wherever that haunting air, “La Pa­ loma," Is played tbe memory of tbe Emperor Maxmlllan, shot by tbe Mex­ icans on June 19, 1867, should be pre­ served. Maxmillan'a final request was that "La Paloma” should be played to I while be stood up to meet his doom. He died with the tune In his ears, and his wife went mad with the shock of his execution. Papa Is Brave. Eischen- Mamma. Is papa ever brave? Mother—He is always brave. I hope Forgetful. Ippose,” said the beautiful girl, But what makes you ask? Eischen— you often burn the midnight Because I thought if he were he wouldn't let my governess pull his ears replied the poet. "I hang my so.—Fliegende Blatter. the doorknob, so tbe landlady wk through the keyhole and Lincoln’s Sarcasm. io burning tbe gas."—Judge. Probably the most cutting thing Lin­ coln ever said was tbe remark be made about a very loquackme man. •This person can compress the most send my words Into tbe smallest ideas of any man I aver met.” t fort' he asks such quest! Cartain Difference.. to know last night I “Do they never forget tbetr differ could breathe bls last' 7* > Is nothing so true that the “Why. yea. In a way. He fsrgetx of error hare not warped Rc- that he's a gentleman, and she fwrspts that thu s a lady."-Puck. Economic«!. •J believe I have found the prix woman economist.” said an east side baker the other day. “She has Just moved into any neighborhood, and I understand the family is by no means poor. The wife came into my place Monday and bought a dozen small cakes. I supposed they were for tea that evening. Imagine my astonish­ ment when she came back Friday evening carrying a small paper sack, from the depths of which she carefully drew forth three of the Identical cakes I had sold her four days before. Nod­ ding her bead toward them, as she set them down on tbe counter before me, she said sweetly. ‘Won’t you please ex­ change these for some fresh ones?* at the same time indicating a batch that I had brought fr^m the oven not half an hour before.” “Well, what did you do7* asked the baker’s sympathetic friend. “Do? I gave her three of the fresh ones. I think I must have been mes­ merized. Next thing I know she will be bringing back the bread crusts to have new loaves put inside them.”— Columbus Dispatch. racMMmiiMMiflsm*» 'daaaaaiMw wuxvxiMtoWA hbmk -í Origin of His Nams. Ito correcting th« exercises of her class a teacher recently observed a netv name Inscribed on one of the pa­ pers—Tom Brown. She looked round tbe class, but could ■ee no new boy. Not a little puzzled, ■he requested Tom Brown to stand. Up Jumped Tommy Smith, and the teacher got more puzzled still. “Your name’s Smith,” she said, "not Brown.” Tommy looked not a little abashed and shifted uneasily from one foot to the other. “Please, ma’am,” he said, “it’» ow­ ing to family trouble. I didn’t do it, please, ma’am.” “But,” she said «ternly, "I repeat, your name Is Smith.” "Please, ma’am,” said the boy, “It'« ehanged now. Ma's married the lodg­ er.”—London Mall. Things He Saw. A gentleman in a Liverpool restau­ rant the other day thought he would have a Joke with tbe waiter and asked him if he bad ever seen a sausage roll. “Yes," replied the waiter. "I have not only seen a sausage roll, but I have seen a biscuit box, a table spoon, • bicycle pump, a penny stamp, a chimney sweep, a chain link, a nose gay. a camera slide, a garden fence, a ■word fish, a spoke shave, a wall flow1 er"— But when be got to "a fire escape” the gentleman thought It was time be •■caped too. As he was going the waiter went on with “a tap turn, ■ cake walk, a moun­ tain climb, ■ sky lark, a honey comb”— But by thia time the customer was hurrying down the street in a dazed condition.—Liverpool Mercury. They Tax All Signs. Every sign in Rio Janeiro is tried. A cafe having a special “sorvete,” or Ice, to serve makes a placard and hangs It to a doorpost or to one of tbe palm trees in tuba which commonly decorate sffch establishments. The no­ tice thus posted must have a revenue stamp attached. Permanent signs are taxed on a permanent basis, tem­ porary signs on a stamped basis. A sign “House For Rent" bears a revenue stamp. Under such circumstances tbe tax on signboards or billboards is tbe expected thing, but naturally there is much less general use of such forms ef advertising. Exouaabls. "I suppose," remarked the coy wld •*, “that you are not an advocate of early marriage?” "Oh, yes, I am.” replied tbe scanty haired bachelor. “Then,” continued the c. w., “why to it you are still a bachelor?” ’That's quite another matter,” an­ swered tbe bachelor. ‘The only mar­ riages 1 believe in are early ones, be cause there is some excuse for youth M folllee."—Chicago News. I We carry a Large Stock of Hardware, Tinware, Glass and China, Oils, Paint, Varnish, Doors,. Window Sashes, Fine Line of Choice GROCERIES I J Agents for the Great Western Saw. M*lddtl'jLey R8 ALEX The Most McNAIR CO. Reliable Merchants in Tillamook County IF, ■J v. Notice of Sale. N otice is H ereby G iven .—That the undersigned will on Friday, February 7th, 1908. at the farm of the under­ signed. situate in Sections 17. 18. 19 and 20, Township 3 North, Range 10 West W.M., in Tillamook County, Oregon, and formerly owned by P. C. Warren, at one o'clock p m., sell at public auction to the highest bidder, for cash in hand, all or a portion oi the following property, tc-wit • 13 head of cattle, consixtin« of 1 COW. , upward of 6 veara old; oi.e cow 5 or 6 .. • . > t j » vrar old, one coming three-yenr old and ten steers of various colors and ages, the same being all of the cattle of every description owned by P. C. Warren, of Warrenton, Oregon, and now upon the premises mentioned. This sale will be made under the pro­ visions of Sections 567! and 5675 Bel­ linger & Cotton’B Annotated Codes and Statutes of the State of Oregon, for the purpose of enforcing a lien held by the undersigned against and upon said pro­ perty for the pasturing thereof, amount­ ing on October 1st, 1906, to *65.00, together with the cost of keeping said property since that date to dale of sh I c . and cost of the sale of same, and so much of said property will lie sold as will be necessary to discharge all of said amounts. Dated this 16th day of January, 1908. W. S. C one , 8. G. R eed . A Most Valuable Agent. The glycerine employed In Dr. Pierce’s medicines greatly enhances the medicinal properties which it extracts from native medicinal roots and holds In solution much better than alcohol would. It also possesses medicinal properties of Its own, being a valuable demulcent, nutritive, antiseptic and antifonnent. It adds greatly to the efficacy of the Black Cherry­ bark, Bloodroot, Golden Soul root, Stone root and Queen’s root, contained in "Golden Medical Discovery ” in sulxlulng chronic, or lingering coughs, bronchial, throat and lung affections, for all of which these agents are recommended by stand­ ard medical authorities. In all cases where there Is a wasting away of flesh, loss of appetite, with weak , as in the early stages of con- __ ibn, there can be no doubt that gly­ cerine/acts as a valuable nutrllite and e Golden Seal root. Stone root, t and Elack Cherrybarlc in Igestion and building up the romotsng ulgestlon tbe ’d T imber L and A ct , J une 3, 1878.—N otice for T imber L and , A ct J une 3» I878.—N otice for P ublication . P ublication . Department of the Interior, United States Land Office. United States Land Office, Portland, Ore., Portland, Oiegou Oct. 31st, 1007. Novetffber 19th, 19O7 Notice is hereby given that in compliance Notice is hereby given that OLIVE B. DAVIDSON, of Nehalem, County of Tillamook , with the provisions of the act of Congress of State of Oregon, has applied to purchase under June 3, 1878, entitled "Au act for the sale of States of California, 0 Ore- the act of Congress of June land» in lu the 8tate» Jr— 3, - 1S78. as - ex timber lands _ 1- and ‘ Wa hlngton 7-.. I--.,,” a* tended by act of August 4. 18«. the N U Ne '4. *°"' Nevada Territory." av>, 10 1v..nu «7»^« oct 11. 1», T. 1. 3 d N.. f ,., K 9 nj miu Pub.ic States by act See. and N % Sw %. Sec 4 W-, and extended to all the Pub ic land State. acl of Hll offer proof to show that the land sought is I August 4, 1892, rnorevalub’.e tor its timber k County, Oregon ; J. R. Hicks, ol Nehalem, Tillamook County. Oregon; H. F. Effenberger, of Nehalem, Tillamook County: Oregon : Oscar Bergman, of Nehalem, Tillamook County, Oregon. Any and all persons claiming adversely the above described lands are requested to file their claims in this office on or before said 29th day of January, I908 A lgernon S. D rbkser , Register. R esh anWsirength. controlling the cough and bringing about a healthy condition of the w le ’ system. Of course, it must ted to work miracles. It wil! not be e not cure nsumption except In Its earlier stages. It will core very Revere. oteti; nite, h*n~mi. chroiUL- couylis. ... _____ pd cTi clinniicsore and tnjiiljlos- and oiirsenvss. In icuvecoughs eclive. It Is not so eflecl ---- Il ls In the lingering hang-on coughs, or thosoof lone standing, even when ac< ompaiile