) a- > TILLAMOOK HEADLIGHT. JUNE 6 & HE WON HIS CASE » IMPURE FOODS. FRANKLIN’S KITE. White Bronze Monumei FIRED ONLY JOKES. > Trick« of ths Trad«« Recordad by ■ Diarist of 1783. An Th« Philosopher's Famous Experiment ae Described by Himself. Th« Woy Judge Thacher Dodged a Challango to a Du«i. "The pure food question Is as old,” ■aid an antiquary, “aa the hills." He took down a volume bound In gray calf. “This Is the diary," be said, “of Hein­ rich Cruger, born In Amsterdam in 1724; died in New York In 1870. Listen to the pure food kick that Henry put up in 1783." Ilie antiquary read: “Monday, 18th October—If I would drink water I must quaff the mawkish contents of a cursed open aqueduct, exposed to all manner of defilement and Impregnated with all the filth of the town. "As for the Intoxicating potion sold as wine, It Is a vile, unpalatable and pernicious sophistication, balderdaxlied with cider, com-spirit and the Juice of aloes. “The bread is a deleterious paste, mixed up with chalk, alum and bone ashes. insipid to the taste and deatruc tive to the constitution. “The table beer, guiltless of bops or malt, Is vapid and nauseous. The tai low.v, rancid masH called butter Is manufactured of candle grease and kitchen stuff. The fresh eggs were fresh once. “The greens are boiled with brass halfpence In order to improve their color, while the pickle«, though very In­ viting to th»> eye, nre often insupport- ably rank to the taste, the reason being that In their case also the house­ wife has boiled a shilling's worth or two of halfpence or a pound brass weight in the vinegar."—New Orleans Tlmes-Democrat. The famous kite experiment is de­ A number of years ago General Ben­ jamin F. Butler was a guest of frlendn scribed by Franklin in a letter dated In Brooklyn. During his visit be noted Oct.. 19, 1752: “Make a small cross of the rule of the street railway com­ light sticks of cedar, the arms so long panies compelling conductors to regis­ as to reach to the four corners of a ter fares as «oon as passengers entered large, thin silk handkerchief when ex­ the cars and before the fares were ac­ tended. Tie the corners of the hand­ tually collected. Two or three years kerchief to the extremities of the cross, afterward he represented the plaintiff so you have the body of a kite, which, In a damage suit for $15,000 In which a being properly accommodated with a Brooklyn street railway company was tail, loop and string, will rise In the the defendant. The principal witness air like those made of paper, but be­ for the company was the conductor of ing made of silk is better Atted to bear the car on which the accident occur­ the wet and wind of n thunder gust red, and bls testimony was so strong without tearing. To the top of the up ss to make things look bad for Butler's right stick of the cross Is to be Axed a client. But Butler recalled the unusual very sharp pointed wire rising a foot rule he bad remarked years tiefore, and or more above the wood. To the end on cross examination he said: I of the twine next the hand is to be “Your company requires you to ring tied a silk ribbon, and where the silk up fares as soon as passengers enter and twine join a key may 1* fastened. the car, doesn’t It?" This kite Is to be raised when a thun “Yes.” dcr gust appears to be coming on, and "Suppose a passenger boards your the person who bolds the string must car and then finds he Is on the wrong stand within a door or window or un line. Do you state that fact to your der some cover, so that the silk ribbon superiors, and do they make allowance may not be wet. and care must be tnk on your returns Tor that fare? ’ on that the tnlne iloe.i not touch the “No. I lose the nickel.” frame of the door or window. As soon “Do you mean to say the company as the thunderclouds come over the won't take your word for 5 cents?” kite the pointed wire will draw’ the “No, they won’t.” electric fire from them, and the kite, “Yet.” said the shrewd veteran, turn­ with all the twine, will be electrified ing to the Jury, “the company asks you and stand out every way and be at to take this conductor’s word for $15,- I traded by an approaching finger. Ami 000.” when the rain has wet the kite and Butler's client received a verdict.— twine you will find the electric fire Brooklyn Eagle. stream out plentifully from the key on the approach of your knuckle.” Documents in the Congressional li­ brary at Washington show that when the establishment of the mint was under discusslou In Washington's time there were some amusing debates in congress concerning the devices the coins should bear. There Is one ac­ count of a squabble over the design for the Bilver dollar. It appears that a member of the house from a southern state bitterly opposed the choice of the eagle on ac­ count of Its being the “king of birds, and hence neither suitable nor proper to represent a nation whose institu­ tions and interests were wholly in­ imical to monarchical forms of govern­ ment. Judge Tlinclu-r in reply bad playfully suggested that perhaps a goose might suit the gentleman, as it was rather a bumble anil republican bird ami would also be serviceable in other respects, as the goslings would answer to place upon the dimes. This reply created considerable mer­ riment, and the Irate southerner, con­ sidering the humorous rejoinder an In­ sult, sent a challenge to Judge Thacb­ er, who proudly declined It. The bear­ er. rather astonished, asked. “Will you be branded as a coward?” “Certainly, if he pleases," replied Thacher. “I always was one, and be knew it, or lie would never have risked a challenge.” The affair caused much mirth, but wns finnlly adjusted, cordial relations being restored, the Irritable southern­ er concluding that there was nothing to be gained In fighting one who tired nothing but Jokes.-Chicago Chronicle. THE MORNING WAKING Getting Up Exercises That Will Put the Brain In Order. Incident That Illustrate« 8hr«wdn«sa of Ben Butler, tjra HOW TO REPEL A DOG, Letter Carrier Had ■ Remedy Vicious Curs. “No one comes in contact with all sorts of dogs more than the letter car­ rier." said the man in gray as the In­ terviewer trudged along beside him. “Take It outside the business districts and every other family has a dog. Many of them I pay no attention to, but about one out of five aches to get bls teeth Into my legs at first sight. It Is a part of my duty to teach such curs a lifelong lesson.” "Do you kick them?” was asked. “That would be foolish. I carry here In my side pocket about a quarter of a pouud of dry fine cut tobacco. You see It Is almost as fine aa snuff The dog that means to bite you won't come charging down with a roar. He sneaks up behind and gives a Jump in. I am ready for It. Without seeming to be watching. I know where he Is. and at the right moment he gets the tobacco dust In his eyes. Then there is a cir­ cus. That dog goes through such a performance as you never witnessed, and his owner, man or woman, In- dulges In all sorts of threats. I deliver the mall and say nothing and go on. The dog's eyes are sore for a fortnight, and If he nfterwnrd meets me on the street he will drop his tail and make a bolt for home. It's a lesson he never forgets, nnd I believe It also Increases his owner's respect for Uncle Sam's uniform.”—Chicago News. The difficulty most people experience in getting up In the morning can lie easily overcome by a simple operation, according to a medical authority. Aft­ er the night's long rest the brain Is 1X<>n with somewhat Impure blood, and toe lymph vessels which remove waste matter are overfull and sluggish. This Is why wo all crave another ten mln utes In bed and why most people are so morose at breakfast. Very slowly the brain gets rid of the matters which Interfere with its vigorous action, but the process can be expedited. If the Anger tips are placed against the neck Just under the ear and moved swiftly down to the front of the shoul­ der along the course of the jugular vein, the used up blood is drawn away and room left for a fresh supply. This should be done twice at each aide of the neck, Then the hands should bo placed on the back of the neck Just under the skull and moved downward as far as possible, This clears out the lymph vessels and effectually pre­ vents swollen glands, from which so many people suffer. After two brisk rubs of the lymph vessels return to the Jugular veins and then back to the glands, hnlf a dozen or eight times, until the operation will * Indians With Blue Eyes. lie found far better than a cup of cot- One of the mysteries of Mexico Is fee, and whenever the brain is dull through congestion this massage will presented by the Maya Indians, who Inhabit the Sierra Madre mountains In be equally effective.—renrson’s. the lower part of Sonora. They have fair skins, blue eyes and light hair, and Mia«, Mrs. and Mistr«««. “Miss" is an abbreviation of ‘‘mix students of ethnology have always tress,” which, as an English law dic­ been puialed to account for them. tionary explains, is the proper style of There Is a tradition, however, that the wife of an esquire or a gentleman these Indlnns are the descendants of By Dr. Johnson's time It had become the crow and passengers of a Swedish "the term of honor to a young girl." vessel wrecked on the Mexican coast In the earliest part of the eighteenth centuries before Columbus discovered ceutury, however, it was used respect­ the new world, but this tradition Is fully of girls below the age of ten founded on nothing more substantial alone. After,that age “miss" was than a folklore tale current among I rude, Implying giddiness of behavior. them tbnt their ancestors came over I In Rmollett's writings an unmarried the big suit water hundreds of moons woman of mature years and her maid ago. are both “Mrs." It Is certain tlmt An Ancient Prayer. "miss" has grown older, so to speak, Old John Ward, who was pilloried arhlle “master" has become confined to by Pope In the “Dunclad" and who boys. actually stood In the pillory In the year 1727. when he was said to have Danger In Linoleum Making. In the manufacture of linoleum no lioen worth £200,000. was nevertheless unprotected lights are allowed In the a pious man. He had large estates In mixing department. Tills Is oil account Ixindon and Essex and did not omit of the great danger of exploding the to pray for their welfare In the follow­ ing manner: "O Lord, I tieseech thee cork dust floating In the air. An addl tlonal danger in linoleum mnklng Is to preserve the two counties of Middle­ that the mixture of cement and cork sex and Essex from Are and earth­ dust has the unpleasant property of quake. and as I have a mortgage 111 spontaneously Igniting If left In s Hertfordshire I beg of thee likewise to have an eye of compassion on that warm place. It Is therefore custom ary to mix the material a sackful at n county, and. for the rest of the coun­ I time In order to reduce the risks of an ties, deal with them as thou pleaseth.” explosion. Th« Vulgar On«. Cornhill Magazine tells of an Eng I "Dad.” Inquired Freddy, “what I« A lishwoman of high station who bewail­ ed to a friend the loss by death of n •figure of speech ?• ” "Where's your mother?" asked dad somewhat III bred but extremely wealthy neighbor who had been very cautiously. "Rhe’« downstair«," an«w«rcd the liberal In hlstielp to her country chari­ ties. “Mr. X. 1« dead," said she. "Ho boy. "Well, then." began dad. "a figure of was an good and kind and helpful to •peech. my «on. 1« a woma»."—Har me In all sorts of ways. He was «<> vulgar, poor, dear fellow, we could per'« Weekly. not know him In London, but we «bail meet In heaven." A Paradox of Pests, "Poets have always had scanty en Odd Coincidence. coura gement." "Yea," answered the sad eyed youth Not many years since a pastor In with Inky fingers, “The Idea seems to New York state read In his pulpit this be that poetry« something everybody portion of a hymn: ought tn re«y and nobody ought to Welk the dellahtful day will come When my deer Lcrd ehall take me home. write."- Washington Star. A Figure of 8p««eh. And I ehall see hie face— Just then he was stricken with pars! She Helped. Rayner It took nerve, didn't It. to ysts and died In a few moments. Thir­ break yourself of the habit of amok ty-three year« before tn the same pul- Ing at your age? Rhyne It did. you pit another pastor was reading tbv bet! B> R'^njy wife er has plenty of very same stansa when be. too, was stricken and died — Scrap Book. that.- Chicago Tribune. Lev«. Millen« How can a man tell when he Is really In love? Cyntcue He can’t tall till tt’a too late Philadelphia Rec ord remfert la but a homely name for hspplneaa—North OLD TIME THEATERS. For Way House and Stage Were Lighted In Garrick’« Time. It must have often struck people when reading of the performances In the eighteenth century how It was that the lightning was contrived. The pow­ er of oil lamps wits limited enough. Theaters like Drury Lane and Covent Garden were of enormous size. There were no footlights, at least until about the middle of the eighteenth century, and they were the humble “floats.” dim enough. Yet there was ample light to observe expression and play of fea­ tures. so necessary in Interpreting the fine old comedies of character. Now­ adays the stage Is one blaze. It Is lit­ erally bathed and suffused In light. There are no shadows, and yet it might be said the amount of necessary light is no more Chan there used to be and Is not nearly as satisfactory. How was It then? In the theaters of Garrick and earlier days the stage was really lit by four great chandeliers, which hung directly over the bends of the actors from the arch of the proscenium and just out­ side the curtain. When the play was over, these were lowered slowly, a sig nal for the audience to depart. These chnndellers furnished a goodly amount of light on n circular zone Immediately below them. The actors' faces and fig ures were lit in the natural way. as the sun would light them, but the rest of the stage was comparatively dark or gloomy.—Blackwood's. "E Pluribus Unum." Roasting Coffee. In Norway, where superb coffee Is made, a bit of butter Is added to the beans while they are roasting In the covered shovel used there for that purpose. In France as well a piece of butter the size of a walnut Is put with three pounds of the coffee beans, and also n dessertspoonful of powdered sugar. This brings out both flavor and scent and. moreover, gives the slight caramel taste which will be re­ membered as a pleasing part of French toffee. The Bloody Meadow. Tewkesbury, where a famous battle was fought during the war of the roses. Is In Gloucestershire at the con- fiuence of the Avon and the Severn and 180 miles from London. The bat­ tle was fought on the bloody meadow Just outside the modern town, and. ac­ cording to local tradition, one night in every year on the anniversary of the confiict the adherents of the white and rod roses meet and fight the battle over again.—Loudon Academy. Doesn't Know It All, "Wbat do you study at school, my little man?" "I am studying the history of France, sir.” "Indeed. What can you tell me about Charlemagne?" "Ob. sir. we have only got as fsr as Adam and Eve."—Paris Journal. Can’t Be Coin«d. I The (xtndon Ladles' Field has dl« CO, »red that "suc'essful people ar« •sually quite devoid of humor.” C. E. REYNOLDS, Aft Tillamook, Oregon, HARNESS, COLLARS, etc. Yon Use Tfe We Sell Th W. A. WILLIAMS & co. Next Door to Tillamook County Bunk. The Best Hotel. THE ALLEN HOUSE, J. P. AULiEN, Proprietor. THE BRITISH BREAKFAST. Headquarters for Travelling Men. Trying In Its Monotony, Though the Food Is Substantial. Special Attention paid to Tourists. A First Class Table. Comfortable Beds and Accommodate A distinguished author once describ­ ed an unripe persimmon as a fine In­ centive to generosity, since we would rather give it to another than eat it ourselves. And perhaps the English breakfast may be likened to the early persimmon. Monotony Is the keynote of the early meal In a British household—not but that the food la good and substantial, but there is a sameness year In and year out about the dishes that Is trying Indeed to an American. Here is a list of eatables and drinkables made up from the breakfast menu of ten middle class English households and ten pure­ ly English hotels: Porridge, served with sugar and milk; ham and eggs, eggs and bacon, grilled ham, boiled and poached eggs, fried sausages, dried fish (herrings or haddocks», dry toast, white or brown bread and butter, marmalade or jam, tea or coffee. The man or woman who has been ac­ customed to break the fnst with wheat cakes and maple sirup, followed by grilled bluefish and a Juicy porter­ house or pork tenderloin, helped out by freshly ground coffee, cranberry Jelly, Virginian honey and a choice of a hun­ dred or more delights In the way of bread and freshly baked cakes, sits down to breakfast in England with a sigh.—From Derrick's British Report. We are Indebted to John Adams for our national motto, “E I’lurlbus Unum.” While he wns minister to England Sir John Prestwick suggested It to Mr. Adams as a good motto to in­ dicate the union of the colonies. It I was submitted to congress and adopted by act of congress June, 1782. The eagle In its beak bears a ribbon on which is the motto. In the early days of Its use the eagle bore also in its I talons a bundle of thirteen nrrows, but | when, In 1841. a new seal was made to take the place of the old one, which I had become worn, only six arrows were placed In the talons. Whether this change wns ordered by law or not Is not known. The old Latin motto was In use In Englaud ns far back as 1730 on the Gentleman's Magazine. Gaily - Why don't you cheer up? Ev dry cloud has a «liver lining. I lump«— That may all be, but did you ever see auylxMiy that could coin lt?-Detrolt Free rress. Advertisement. "Why do you allow youraelf to be posted at your club?" "Well,” answered the «a«y Uniti.1 youth. "It'« a large club and • «well one. and no one would know I was a member of It unless I got posted net' and tb«n."-Wa»hlngton Star. The If you contemplate the purchai« of Cemetery Work, it is worth your whil, g vestignte White Brome, a material that,, the only durable Monument, and Marble and Granite in fine, nrtiatic finiab No moss growing, cracking or rraau, no cleaning or care required. Hett»r ¡„ way than granite and less expensive. |^ Scientists endorse it ns being prnclic^^ tructible. C'orre«poii LARSEN HOUSE. _... . KARSEN, Proprietor. TILLAMOOK, OREGON The Best Hotel in the city. Vo Chinese Employed.